Divorce: The Antithesis of God's Love - Matthew 5:31-32

All right, we are in our series in the book of Matthew.

So if you have a Bible where we have free Bibles at the welcome

table, we have actually some nice hardcover ones we recently

got in. Those are free to those of you

who don't have a Bible at home. But if you pull your Bibles to

Matthew chapter 5, we're in a place where Jesus is preaching

Matthew 5 · chapter mention

in the Sermon on the Mount. And I've entitled today's

message well because it really goes along with what we're

talking about today. The the title of today's message

is divorce, the antithesis of God's love.

And we are going to be in verses 31 through 32.

So let me read these verses for us and then we'll get into it.

It says in verse 31 it was also said whoever divorces his wife,

let him give a certificate of divorce.

But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife except

except on the ground of sexual immorality makes her commit

adultery. And whoever marries a divorced

woman commits adultery. Now, I want to start with this,

that there is grace and compassion to all who have been

divorced in this room. Certainly the church is not

without, without exception to sin.

As we've talked about today, all of us have struggled.

All of us come from different walks of life.

And and there is grace and compassion for those who have

been divorced or affected by divorce.

This is a sin, but we've all sinned and fallen short of the

glory of God. Jesus came to die for our sins

and to forgive us, and now we get to grow in how He wants us

to live, not by by law and rule, but through obedience out of

gratitude and love. We're not trying not to sin to

make it into heaven. We're trying not to sin because

we're already saved and we're going to heaven.

And so that's the desire for us as Christians now.

That's what makes us different from the world because we don't

justify it anymore. We know that.

That's why Jesus came and died. So God does have a a will and a

design for marriage. Marriage is an institution that

God created himself. And so therefore it has meaning

and value to God and it should have meaning and value to us.

So today, I don't want you to question the marriage you're in

right now. You can't go back into the past

and change things, as I said. But we can't all move forward

with the right heart in our lives today.

Moving forward. This is all for us again, to

know God's heart about marriage. And I hope it strengthens our

marriages in the room today and those who might be listening

online. And it also helps us to realize

our need for Jesus even more so as we get into this message.

This is the third of the six antitheses of Jesus's Sermon on

the Mount, where he teaches in a way that is contrasting what the

Old Testament or the the Pharisees, the teachers of the

Old Testament law were teaching to the people in Israel at the

time. He would always say, you've

heard that it was said, you've heard that your rabbis taught

this. And he quotes something that's

in in the Old Testament Scripture.

And here's what they would say about that.

But here's what I say. So that's why it's an

antithesis, because they're opposed to one another.

They didn't interpret these things rightly.

These laws by God, His moral standard has not gone away.

That's why we continuously go back to the 10 commandments that

probably most people know. We know why things are wrong.

We know what's what's good and evil because of God's law that

He has revealed thousands of years ago.

They don't go away, but they can be misinterpreted or not taught

properly. That's what Jesus is saying

here. And so an antithesis, as I've

said, divorce is an antithesis of God's love or title of our

message. What is an antithesis?

Well, it's a person, group, or set of morals and beliefs or

statements that are directly opposite or incompatible with

other people, beliefs, etcetera. So an example of this, of

complete opposites, of people that can believe completely

different things, extreme right conservatives, extreme left

liberals, we see that it's very prevalent, relevant illustration

in our world today because of the crazy hostility and the evil

that we've seen. Because the complete opposites,

it's also a figure of speech to say something is opposite, like

you're the antithesis of me. Many of you might have children

who you you hoped that they would grow up to be just like

you. And they're actually complete

opposites, you know? And so your son or your daughter

is the antithesis of you. And I know that can be

frustrating. And this would have been a

pretty bold sermon for Jesus to preach.

Again, remember, Jesus was bold and loving a lot of people.

Maybe out of ignorance, we'll just say, well, Jesus was the

kind one and the Old Testament God was the mean one.

Well, they're the same God. Jesus and God himself has always

been abounding with grace and mercy and love.

And Jesus is the picture. He is not the antithesis of God.

He is God himself in the flesh, teaching what God's Word says to

the people. And he's doing that even now.

And as we walk through this, this is for us today, not just

for them 2000 years ago. So let's get into this.

I have one point today in this message from Jesus, and it's

this divorce is antithetical to God's design for marriage.

Again, it's directly opposed to or it's incompatible.

That's what that means and it's not just antithetical or opposed

to the idea of marriage, but it is opposed to God himself who

created marriage. Let's get into our text.

It says in verse 31, it was also said whoever divorces his wife,

let him give a certificate of divorce.

Now, in order to get a fuller understanding of what Jesus is

saying here in this text, we're going to need to jump to some

other texts in the Bible. Like later in Matthew 19 or in

Mark 10, it has a passage where where the Pharisees who had

heard this teaching earlier on wanted him to clarify some

things. And so Jesus in Matthew 19,

we're going to jump to there he clarifies some things.

And the reason why we go to other texts in Scripture is

because preachers and Jesus was a preacher.

He we all have a theology from all of Scripture about a topic

and the same truths need need clarification.

They need to be hidden from different angles.

And so in order to understand a teaching from the Bible, you got

to go all over the Bible to find all that said about that thing,

not just cherry pick verse here, there or whatever.

So that's what we're going to do and we're going to find out

again Jesus's heart. And here in Matthew 19, starting

in verse 3 through 6, it says the Pharisees came up to him and

tested him by asking is it lawful to divorce one's wife for

any 'cause he answered, have you not read that He who created

them from the beginning made them male and female and said,

therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold

fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

So they are no longer 2, but one flesh.

What Therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

So this is Jesus fuller teaching on what we're reading in Matthew

Matthew 5 · chapter mention

chapter 5 and and so the so what's going on here?

It's that these Pharisees are saying, hey, we want to hear

what you have to say. And they're testing him in front

of people because they knew that there were two groups of people

that believed different things about this topic of, of marriage

and divorce. And there was one group who

would would be the more conservative group from this

Rabbi Shemai and his followers believed it meant unchastity and

adultery alone. That would be the only cause or

reason that you could divorce someone according to this group.

And another group, Hellel, he would have been the more the

more liberal who would think of Moses teaching in a much broader

sense. And they would approve some

divorce for some of the most flimsy reasons, like the wife

burned his food or talked so loud that the neighbors could

hear. So where are they getting this

from? Why are they confused about

this? How could God's people be

confused about this topic? Well, they based on a passage in

Deuteronomy chapter 6. I don't have it up here.

Deuteronomy 6 · chapter mention

You can turn your Bibles there. Deuteronomy chapter 624, there

was a law that Moses was reiterating that was directly

specific about an issue that was going on with some of the

people. And it says this when a man

takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his

eyes because he found some indecency in her.

So that one verse this this is what they're arguing about when

they're coming up to Jesus and but but but you read the rest of

the context. It says if he finds no favor in

her eyes because he's found some indecency in her.

That word indecency has been argued over.

But most the faithful, as Jesus is going to tell us later on is

as we've read is, is sexual immorality, adultery, but it

goes on. And in, in the context it says

if if she goes and gets married to another guy, 'cause you wrote

a certificate of divorce to her and then he divorces her as

well, you don't get to take her back.

That's what the passage says. And so apparently these people

were so hard hearted and a lot they were, they were, they had a

wrong view of marriage that they thought that they could, as long

as they had the right paperwork, that they could do whatever they

wanted, that they could get rid of their wife for a reason at

that time. And this also applies to men and

women, by the way, though the language talks about a wife, the

same would be true in the reverse order.

They, they just did not have a high view of marriage.

They were always looking for the loophole.

You see, that's what Pharisees were famous for doing.

They always, instead of wanting to find God's heart on the

matter, it was what can I get away with here when they had

taken it way too far. So they take an obscure passage

in Deuteronomy that Jesus is going to clear up later.

Again, this is Jesus, the word of God answering a question

about his theology on marriage and he goes directly to

Scripture because if we look at the rest of the Scripture, it

says he answered, have you not read that he who created them

from the beginning made them male and female and said,

therefore man shall leave his father and mother and the two

and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.

Where is he getting that from? He goes further back than

Deuteronomy to an unclear passage to a more clear passage.

Again, this is what Pharisees or, or people that want to make

a case for their own desires. You know, people that want to

follow God, but but they have their own desires.

And so they'll go into Scripture to try to find loopholes for

things and Jesus saying, Nope, you're not going to get away

with this one. Because although you go to this

obscure passage in Deuteronomy, I'm going back further to the

created order in Genesis. In Genesis chapter one, we

looked at it a couple of weeks ago.

God made them male and female and brought them together.

It was a beautiful thing that God did.

Let me read the first marriage ceremony to you in Genesis

Genesis 2 · chapter mention

chapter 2 after he created them male and female in his image.

It says so the Lord caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man,

and while he slept took one of the ribs and his ribs and closed

it up in its place with flesh and the rib that the Lord God

had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to

the man. The man said this is at last

bone of my bones and flesh of my fat flesh.

She shall be called woe man because he was like, whoa, man

never seen anyone like this before, right?

And he hadn't woman because she was taken out of man.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother, hold fast

to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

And the man and his wife were both naked and not ashamed.

So Jesus quotes this first marriage narrative in Scripture

and then he adds on to it the words with his own now

interpretation of it, which is also the word of God says So

they are no longer 2 but one flesh.

What? Therefore God is joined

together, let not man separate. So what is he saying here?

He's saying that the institution of marriage was set up by God,

therefore that makes it a holy institution.

This is not just some legal matter that can be broken or

changed by some secular or or government on earth court piece

of paper that overrides God's standards.

You see, this is a beautiful thing that God created.

The man and the woman would come together and it would it would

represent His Holiness and His desire for them to be fruitful

and multiply. In fact, when God created man

and woman in the 1st chapter, it's the only time He created

all the animals and He created the whole earth and all the

universe. But after the 6th day, after He

created the human beings and He commanded them be fruitful,

multiply and fill the earth, and after that He said this is very

good. He sees the creation of humans

and marriage between man and woman as something very good.

And so then you can already see from this text that God is

pleased by marriage. He loves it when two people come

together as one in intimacy, in relationship, in covenant

relationship to one another. Why?

Because that represents God's own heart for his people.

He has committed to us all over in the Bible, actually, He it

shows us that marriage is an interpretation, an analogy, an

illustration of God's love for his people.

And it's always been that way, a covenant that he's made with us,

that He's going to love us throughout all of our sin, all

of our wandering. And he's, he's proven that

covenant through sending his Son to die for us.

God wanted us to come together, committed to one another.

Marriage is not just a natural thing.

So out there in the world, everybody has their own idea of

what marriage is. It's not marriage.

If it's not a man and a woman in a covenant relationship for

life, then that's not that's not marriage.

They can call it marriage, but it's not.

God owns marriage, right? So he gets to decide what it's

for, what its purpose is, and who is qualified for it.

And that's what we read in this text and this oneness language.

Again, it's talking about intimacy.

It's talking about sex when they come together, what happens with

that? Well, there's a spiritual union

where two people literally become one for a moment, and

because of that it fulfills the command.

Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth, take demand.

So from that union comes offspring.

And God wants us then to not only get married, but have

children and raise them for him and His glory.

Actually, Malachi too puts this really well to explain what I'm

saying if we go to it, says, did he not make them one with a

portion of the Spirit in their union?

Let me stop right there. Well, no, let me, let me keep

going. And what was the one God seeking

godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your

spirit and let, let none of you be faithless to the wife of your

youth. For the man who does not love

his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel

covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of

hosts. So guard yourselves in your

spirit and do not be faithless. So there's a couple things in

here #1 the oneness that I talked about, the spiritual

union. Marriage is not just physical,

it's also spiritual. And so when you come together,

it is God bringing us together. Like the first marriage

narrative of Adam and Eve, it represents that God is

sovereign. By the way, so I've heard it

said, then if you take two people and you spiritually bind

them together, then it's a brutal and violent act to

separate them. If they're basically being knit

together as one person, then divorce comes in and, and, and

it's almost a bloody action that happens.

It takes a lot of violence for that to actually even work, and

nobody is left the same afterwards.

Somebody once told me about an illustration.

If you take a blue heart represents a man, a pink heart

represents a girl. You glue them together, you

stick them there. And this can also go to having

sex outside of marriage because there's something happening

there beyond just physical pleasure.

If you get married or you are intimate with someone outside of

marriage and then and then you separate, what's going to happen

to those two hearts on there? There's going to be a little bit

of pink on the blue and there's going to be a little bit of blue

on the pink that will basically never come off because you were

joined together with some in this way.

They're basically going to be they're going to be scars on

your heart in that relationship with that person that you have

that will that you will carry with you the rest of your life.

I say this not as someone who's speaking down to you, but saying

this as someone who has experienced that myself.

I haven't been divorced, but I've sinned in other ways.

And I want you to understand there are consequences to not

doing it God's way. So that's one part of it.

And the second part is that God wants godly children from the

union of marriage. And what does divorce do to our

children? Again, I want to have compassion

for all of us in the room. To you who've been through

divorce, you see your children struggling or kids that grew up

in a divorced home, because here's what I think that divorce

communicates to our kids, especially Christians.

If we say that we're in this covenant relationship with Jesus

and Jesus will never leave us or forsake us.

And he's like the husband and, and we're the bride.

The church is the bride of Christ.

And we're telling our kids that and our marriages are supposed

to be an illustration of that. But then they can't see mom and

dad get together and work through their issues and forgive

one another and and their their parents split up.

Then what's going to happen? I think it's going to make it a

lot harder for the kids when they grow to be adults, to

really trust that Jesus is really going to continue to love

me forever, that this relationship I have with him

can't be broken somehow. Why would God keep his covenant

love with me when the people I knew that were closest to God

couldn't? What does this all mean?

And I understand the pain from that.

And This is why I think God does not, is not pleased with divorce

because it's not a part of his design of what he was doing

here. It was a beautiful thing.

It was very good and it still is, even though we're in a

sinful world. So back to our verses on this

again. It says whoever divorces his

wife, let him give a certificate of divorce.

Now let's go back to our verse in chapter 19.

They said to him, why then what's the what is this

certificate all about? Because there will be exception

clauses in this passage, as you already know.

But what is this certificate all about?

They said why then did Moses do this in Deuteronomy chapter 4 or

Deuteronomy 4 · chapter mention

24? Give a certificate of divorce to

send her away. He said to them, because of your

hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives.

But from the beginning it was not.

So again, it wasn't meant to be this way in the beginning.

And by the way, they say it like this, why did Moses command?

And here's what Jesus says. Look at the word he says because

of the hardness heart he allowed.

God never commands divorce ever. But in some cases it was allowed

and there may be an exception for that.

Before I get to that, what does he say Because of your hardness

of heart? Hardness of heart makes it so we

don't want to follow God's way. We're too hurt, too personally

hurt to only think about maybe even protecting ourselves or

we're trying to get to a safe place.

But I just want you to remember all the places that people are

called hard hearted in the Bible.

One of them was Pharaoh, who was not a believer, and other places

like Jesus himself. In Mark chapter 3, when Jesus

Mark 3 · chapter mention

healed a man's hand on a Sabbath and the Pharisees got mad at him

for healing someone, loving someone on the Sabbath, listen

to what Jesus said. And he looked around them at

them with anger, grieved at their hardness of heart, and

said to the man, stretch out your hand.

And he stretched it out and his hand was restored.

So when the Bible mentions hard heartedness, it's usually

referring to people who are unbelievers.

And So what is Jesus saying here?

What is he's saying? Basically, because you're not

going to follow God's law anyway.

You're going to make up your own loopholes anyway.

I will give you what you want. Now, that doesn't discount that

people's hearts can't be so hurt that it's almost unimaginable to

come back from. But what I am saying is what the

text says, that hardness of heart is never really ever

referred to a believer. In fact, Psalm 2814 says this.

Blessed is the one who fears the Lord always.

But whoever hardens his heart will fall into calamity.

And we know that hardness of heart leads us down the path we

don't want to. So even if you're not divorced

and you're in a fight with your spouse or a loved one or a

friend or someone in the church or whatever it's like, and we're

in that moment, you know that you're so angry, you're so hurt

that your heart's almost impenetrable.

You're like, I'm, I'm not letting them get away with this.

I want justice. I want them to know just how mad

I am to ever be able to do this again.

And you keep that going as the cycle of hardening, hardening

Harding and and you never let that humility in there to say,

you know what? I've done things that I've been

forgiven for and Jesus Christ has forgiven me.

And why can't I be forgiving? No, that hardness of heart leads

us down a path. And you all probably know this.

When you took it too far, you wished, man, I wished I wouldn't

have been so hard hearted. We drug this out longer than it

should have been. So Moses allowed for a

certificate of divorce because the hard heartedness of those

people that were wandering in the desert that were already a

disobedient people anyway. So let's get back to our passage

then. But I say to you that everyone

who divorces his wife except on the ground of sexual immorality

makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced

woman commits adultery. So Jesus gives us a technical

application, and here it is. You know, we all want to know,

right? What can I get away with?

And I dare say, like the Pharisees, we can be like that

sometimes, right? How can I get out of this

without sinning? Well, Jesus technically says

there's an exception for those whose hearts been so broken by

literal adultery or infidelity that one can get a divorce.

And I say literal because the word here in the Greek for

sexual immoralities is a word that means harlotry, adultery,

incest or fornication. So prostitution, literal

adultery, or any kind of sex outside of marriage or incest

that they can choose to leave the marriage and then get

remarried. I did a sermon 2 weeks ago on

lust because that was the verses just before this where lust is

spiritually the same consequences in heaven to

adultery. Jesus said if you look at a

woman with lust you've committed adultery in your heart.

And yes I agree that the consequences in heaven are the

same. It's a sin.

It's a sin that is equal to God. It's not a lesser sin.

It's not a it's not a a sin that will be punished differently.

It is just a sin. It's the heart of adultery,

looking at another person, man or woman with lustful intent

who's not your spouse. But the consequences on earth

are different and we know that. But in the case of literal

adultery or sexual immorality, they can choose to leave the

marriage and then get remarried. But the remarriage is also in

kind of a a narrow spectrum of people to choose from because

they would have had to have gone through the same exact thing.

Because what does it say? It says unless it's for sexual

immorality, you make her commit adultery and whoever marries a

divorced woman commits adultery. So what it's saying is, is the

two people are going to be hold responsible in the remarriage.

And so if one person is qualified under the technical

application, but the other person isn't, you're still

sinning. That other person needs to be a

believer. That other person has to have

either never been married or they went through a divorce for

the same exact reason. Then there's this narrow

application, technical application that Jesus is

allowing for. Now, there are there are two

other reasons why a person could get out of a marriage.

Romans 7 talks about 1 is free for marriage and to remarry if a

spouse dies. And 1st Corinthians 7 says if

you are an A believer and you're married to an unbelieving spouse

and the unbelieving spouse wants to leave, you should let them,

but the believer will never. It is not permitted by Scripture

that the believer could leave the unbelieving spouse because

again, the believer views marriage in light of God's

design and creation of it. Again, all of this, if this was

you, I want you to know that if you've recognized this and

repented, asked forgiveness from Jesus as a believer, the slate

is wiped clean. Understand that.

Again, we've all come here with many sins.

We've talked about sin a lot. Today we sang a song about sin.

I mean, it's been a lot talked about the world's sin, other

people's sin, our sin. And what I want you to know is

the beauty is as we all come together on equal ground at the

foot of the cross, bowing there saying, Lord, yes, I failed,

yes, I've sinned, yes, I've gone against you.

And Lord, I know what your word says and it falls short of your

standard. And that is why Jesus Christ

died. And by faith in him and him

alone, that act that He did because he knew we were going to

sin against Him. Romans 5 says that that while we

were yet sinners, Christ came and died.

We've been born with a sinful nature that wants to go our own

way that cannot please God and therefore God with A1 sided

commitment covenant to us says I'm coming to make all things

good and new and I'm going to love you, forgive you.

I am going to see to it that you make it all the way to the end

of this life. And you will be finally

consummated with me at the marriage supper of the lamb when

Jesus finally comes back to take his bride to live in heaven

forever. But just remember, although the

past is out of our control and we we can move on in grace and

freedom to now follow him and look at marriage through the

lens of the gospel because that is what it's supposed to be.

And so while we've talked about the technical application, what

else does Jesus say about marriage?

What does the Bible say about marriage?

Because in that text earlier he says, have you not read yes,

have you not read the theology of what marriage is all about?

And this is kind of my main idea, take away today that

marriage is an illustration of God's love for his church.

His covenant can't be broken. He will never leave or divorce

us. Therefore we should honor him in

our marriages. And so This is why I would never

counsel for divorce. I've done a lot of marriage

counseling. I've been in my own share of

Christian marriage counseling in my own marriage.

And this is a beautiful thing. Why the church?

God put it here, and we don't often take advantage of it

before it's too late. But now moving forward, if

you're struggling with questions about things like this in your

family, in your marriage, we do have pastors and leaders that

would love to counsel through this.

I often tell people you'll never any say anything in a marriage

counseling session that surprises me or shocks me.

But I'm never going to counsel for divorce because I believe

what it illustrates, the gospel, the unwavering love.

The question is, you know, even in this loophole or this

technical way out of marriage, does God do the same thing?

No Would he leave us if we had spiritual adultery on him?

Left to go break the first commandment, which was have no

other gods before me. If we go and and worship other

gods and other idols and put other people in in in higher

priority in our lives than his, does he say, OK, you're done,

I'm gone. Certificate of divorce.

Legally I'm out of this. No, he doesn't.

Though we sin. His grace overcomes all of that

past, present, and future because we are in Christ by our

faith in Him alone. And so then look, let me just

show you this in the book of Hosea.

It might shock you, maybe you've read it before, but the whole

theme of the book of Hosea is that the nation of Israel is

sinning against God by idolatry, going after other gods, and he

calls it whoredom, He calls it adultery.

And in Hosea chapter 1, he uses this prophet to to make an

Hosea 1 · chapter mention

illustration about this. In Hosea chapter one, verse 2,

it says when the Lord first spoke through Hosea, the Lord

said to Hosea, go take yourself a wife of whoredom and have

children of whoredom for the land commits great whoredom by

forsaking the Lord. And so in this illustration,

he's trying to show the nation of Israel.

You guys have really gone out on me, but you keep reading in

chapter 2. And although he's he's got a lot

to say about them in their spiritual adultery against God.

Verse 14 He says, Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and

bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her.

And there I will give her her vineyards, and make the valley

of Achor a door of hope. And there she shall answer as in

the days of her youth, as at the time when she came out of the

land of Egypt. And in that day declares the

Lord, You will call me husband, and no longer will you call me

my Baal, the other God that they were worshipping.

And then in chapter 3, what does he do?

Although they went, went out and this same wife goes out on

Hosea, it says the Lord said to me, go again, love a woman who

is loved by another man and is an adulteress.

Even as the Lord loves the children of Israel, though they

turn to other gods and love cakes of raisins.

He says go redeem her. It's a beautiful thing.

So God will never leave us or forsake us no matter what sin

we've committed. So we should honor Him in our

marriages. This would be a challenge for us

even though our spouse may not be at the level of maturity or

or maybe in a season of 1 struggling than the other like

in a marriage commitment. If you're both Christians, we're

both committed to this thing saying it's not 5050.

Sometimes it's 100 zero like our relationship with Jesus.

Now in the best marriages, especially if you're both

Christians, you would both try to sacrificially love one

another and forgive one another as much as Christ has forgiven

you. That makes a that's makes a

great marriage. I had a mentor tell me there's

in fact, probably not any great marriages, but there's some

really good ones. Why?

Because we're all sinners and we come into this relationship.

And so what's going to happen? You not only have your own

struggles in your own life, but you now combine it with two

different personalities and perspectives.

There's going to be issues. So God gives us things.

We we read Ephesians 5 and I want to just read that to you

again. It says just parts of it.

Wives submit to your own husbands.

Now this is always a, a tough verse for a lot of people,

especially in this generation. What does this mean?

Because in a good marriage, wives would submit to their

husbands. And then in verse 25, it says

husbands love your wife as Christ loved the church, gave

his life up for her and died for her.

Well, this would mean that women respect and appreciate their

husbands, encourage them and help help them to exceed.

But men, you don't, You've got to reserve veto power in a sense

that it should only ever be used.

A godly husband should only ever say we must do this or must do

that with my family and very, very narrow things in life.

It would be where we worship, where we go to church.

Right. Like where are we going to

worship God and have our family involved?

That is, hopefully the man would lead in that.

Hopefully the man would become the prophet, the priest, and the

provider in his home. And in fact, all men were doing

a men's group starting with these groups.

And we have this book called How to Lead Your Family, and it uses

these principles of being a leader like this to do

discipleship in the home and then in areas of providing and

protecting for the family. And it doesn't mean that the man

always has to make the most money in the home.

It just means that it should be your concern how your family

survives. But men, you must be worth

submitting to because if you're not following Jesus and not

living out your role as God's design and leading the family

into neutrality or even sin, you're not worth following.

You've got to be a man worth following.

We need more men in this world, in our culture that are worth

following. I don't feel bashful about

saying that, and I think women would say Amen to that.

Please men, lead. And then it says you're supposed

to sacrifice your life, lay down your life for your wife as

Christ laid down his life for the church.

And so, yeah, the passage ends with, you know, husbands, love,

respect. They do want to hear that

they're appreciated. They do want to know that you

think well of them. They do want to know that

they're supported. But both of you need to

recognize that God has made your marriage a billboard for his

love for his people. And Jesus is calling both of us,

both of you, to represent him well with your marriages in the

world, to forgive like He forgave.

That's the only way it's going to work because you are going to

sin against one another. But ultimately, I want to end

with this. Do not put all of your hope and

trust in your spouse being everything that you need and

holding them to only their side of the commitment, because only

Jesus can be the one that can bear the burden forever.

Only Jesus is the one that can fulfill all your needs and hopes

and desires. Get your needs met from God and

then go serve your spouse as the one God calls your first one,

another and neighbor. I want to read 2 quotes from

Martin Luther as I close. I didn't know he was such a a

marriage marriage proponent. But when he says, let the wife

make the husband glad to come home and let him make her sorry

to see him leave. And the second one is this.

The Christian is supposed to love his neighbor, and since his

wife is his nearest neighbor, she should be his deepest love.

Christians married people go love one another.

Well, those who are unmarried or considering being married,

please find a healthy Christian man or woman to get married to

and do it the right way. Although you may have sinned,

you're in good company. Everyone who has struggled with

the sin of divorce in the past, know that if you've confessed it

and repented and you've acknowledged it, that you are

forgiven. And now you can go on knowing

how the Lord wants you to conduct yourself in this life.

Let us all be blessed. Father, thank you for your words

of wisdom, love, and encouragement.

Help us live out these truths and these principles and to

boldly stand for these to talk about these.

We need your wisdom and your guidance in this world.

If left without that, we're in the dark.

We start acting like the rest of the world and we look out the

world. We know the world's crazy.

Help us to live other than them the way that you would, will,

and want us to. I pray this in Jesus name, Amen.