Infidelity, Forgiveness, and Faith | November 9, 2025

I've been so excited for

this classic rock series.

I'm just saying, come on, Eileen,

1982, Dex Midnight Runners.

I'm sure they're on the tip of your tongue

when you were like, who sings that again?

Not at all.

Uh, what's sad to me, I think

it's Dax, is the one who's like,

don't you remember that song?

Come on, Eileen.

Like, what did you even

listen to as a kid?

Bro, that's like 1982.

I don't know.

Uh, I really did wonder when we

kind of put this together to have

some awesome time to hear the

story that God's just done in

Eileen's life and her family's life.

Uh, I was like, oh man, we

got this classic rock series.

There's just no way it's gonna work.

Right?

But what a cool thing.

So if you hate that song, I don't, I

don't really know anything about it other

than we had to cut out some of the words.

So just disregard.

Don't go search it.

But we're gonna keep it appropriate this

morning, and I'm gonna invite Eileen Clay

to come join me up here on the platform.

And my lovely wife, Jamie, if

you can sneak up here as well,

we'll give Eileen that one and

then you get this one right here.

And I'm gonna try.

Let's see if we can make this work.

So even, can I get the old ladies?

You?

Yeah.

Well you picked this one.

Don't make me look bad.

Now, Eileen, let's be really honest.

I tried a rocking chair, we

practiced, you know, this setup

a minute and I can't sit still.

It was like a fidget chair, right?

And so Jamie's like, you may

not have that, just so you know.

So, hey, uh, if you're visiting

today, I just wanna apologize

because even though normally we do

weird stuff, this is extra weird.

So it's just a little different, but.

I think, you know, it's probably

not, but we're not apologizing

for what God has planned.

No.

No.

Because that's what White Rock does.

We keep in step with the spirit.

Right.

And the spirit once I lean up here today.

Yeah.

So we're excited to see what

he's gonna do about that.

And I'm the one who has to deal

with, God sent you here when

I wasn't preaching to visit.

So I don't know what that feels like,

but uh, yeah, we'll go from there.

So, uh, I think we're all comfortable.

Are you guys comfortable?

I actually could not have planned this

better because we spent 15 hours with

the teens at the ark encounter yesterday.

So I really want to sit down Eileen.

Very bad.

So this is, uh, this is kind of neat.

So, uh, what we're gonna do,

guys, um, many of you have

had a chance to meet Eileen.

We have some family and friends

who know you better than any of us.

And, uh, how long have you

been here at White Rock?

Do you remember what we,

A little over a year.

About a year and a half.

You have to hold that super close

'cause we're about a year and a half.

Oh, there you go.

Because White Rock technology, right?

Yeah.

And I have to tell you why I came here.

Her because, um, I'm 91 years old

and so I know that one of these days

probably before too awfully long,

I'm gonna be going home to heaven.

And I told my son, he and his wife

had gone, have gone to Riverview for

quite some time and their family.

And I said, I need a small church

where the pastor knows me and when

I pass away, he doesn't have to go

around asking everybody what can

I say about Eileen at the funeral?

So here we are.

Yeah.

Yep.

That's great.

But, but well hang on.

Oh, in a year and a half,

we have plenty to say.

Eileen, just so you know.

Well, he told me he's read the book, so

he knows a lot of stuff to say about me.

Do it does help if you write

your own book, just so you know.

Yes, go ahead.

Sorry.

And her first Sunday was when we

were at Women's Retreat, many of us.

And she still came back after that.

So, yes.

Yes.

That's impressive.

Well, all the women and Joe Williamson

couldn't believe I came back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you've ever been here when the

women are away, just know that.

Yeah.

I should, let me backtrack.

That's not as, that's, that's way weirder

than what we're doing this morning.

This is very good.

So, yeah.

Yeah.

Well, Eileen, um, actually this would

be kinda interesting how many people

have actually got Eileen's book.

Understand.

Okay.

Perfect.

How many of you guys have

finished reading Eileen's book?

Alright, good.

Don't spoil anything.

Okay.

Just keep it to yourself.

Alright.

Um, but, uh, tell us maybe a little

bit about how this, like this book

kind of has been in the works for

a while and then shelved a little

bit and just feel like God's kind of

opened some doors finally for Yes.

Um, it actually started in,

uh, about 1990 when, um, after.

Hmm, almost 20 years of marriage.

My husband, who was a police officer,

um, left me for a woman five years

older than our oldest daughter.

Very heartbreaking time.

And, uh, it just tore

our lives up completely.

Uh, the children and mine,

we had three children.

And as a result of what transpired

over the years, and that's where I'm

gonna lead you up to, but because of

what all happened over a period of 10

years or so, um, the Lord, it was in

1979 that the, the divorce happened.

And in 1990, then because of what had

happened, um, the woman who broke up our

marriage and I wrote the book together,

it ended up not being published, though

we had contacted several publishers.

Um, and then about November of last

year, I started working on it again

at the prompting of a lot of you

right here, and you know who you are.

You were my mainstays.

Um, and because of that, I really felt

like the Lord was saying yes, it's time.

It's time.

You know, God's timing is always perfect.

Yeah.

We may try to do things ahead of

him, but his time's always perfect.

Yeah.

And, uh, it was hard for us to understand

why it was delayed, but, um, well,

and I, I think what's really cool to

me is, um, as we've talked about this

and been trying to figure out how we

can do this and share the story, and I

love, and if you know Eileen, you know

this, but I love Eileen's hearts like.

This is not the story of

Eileen the greats, right?

Like Eileen is not, she

has stuff in her story.

She's like, oh Jesus, please do I

have to share any of that, right?

Because this isn't about perfect people.

This is about a perfect God who loves us.

But all of us come in our

brokenness and all of us have

walked through different things.

And this is a story about God's

ridiculous ability to transform.

I don't even know if you could

say beauty outta ashes, like

nuclear waste into beauty.

Um, and what a story that God

has told and done in your life.

It's a story about God and his love.

Uh, it definitely is.

In fact, that's one thing

I say over and over.

I don't want people to see Eileen.

I want them to see Jesus Christ alive

and at work and being glorified.

'cause he's promised us that

even in the most difficult

circumstances, he will bring good

from it and he will be glorified.

Yeah.

So, you know, we may feel defeated.

We may feel like, oh, how can it be good?

Come out of this trust God, trust him.

Well, Eileen, since this is a

church filled with illiterate

people, I'm just kidding.

We can read books, we're good, but I don't

wanna ruin anything, uh, you know, for

those who really want to read the book.

And we do have books in the back that

people can purchase and you can get an

autograph, copy, all kinds of fun stuff.

If you brought your copy, Eileen's gonna

make a copy or a autograph on it for you.

Sign something.

That's kind of neat.

But, um, when you hear, when you just

get the hook of wrote a book with the

woman who broke up our marriage, like

that's enough to be like, uh, hang on.

Could you tell me a little bit about that?

So maybe you could just walk us through

a little bit of the story and maybe

we'll pause along the way and, and

interrupt you probably, but Okay.

That sound your plan.

Yeah.

Feel free to interrupt.

I, I'm pretty good at interrupting.

Jamie says, so.

Yeah, we'll work on that.

Well, first of all, lemme just

tell you a little bit about myself,

that I grew up in a Christian

home, so I had a godly foundation.

And even as a kid, I remember,

um, just yearning to please Jesus.

And back in my day, we

had two week revivals.

We always lived out in the

country, so we didn't have a car.

So we walked every night to the revivals

and I always sat on the front row.

And when the invitation was

given, I was always at the altar.

My heart hungered to know Jesus.

I sang, my mother said, I sang every

night, sing myself to sleep till

I couldn't sing words anymore, and

then I would hum until I fell asleep.

I remember doing that, my heart hungered,

to know Jesus and to walk with him.

We lived in, well, of course, like every

young girl I yearned to be married,

grow up and be married, and have.

Family.

And so, um, when I was 24, I

met the love of my life and we

married and had three children.

My youngest is sitting

back in the audience.

My two girls are not here today.

Um, Mick as we know him, is

Carl ii he named for his dad.

I had serious health conditions, uh,

pneumonia, and a thyroid condition.

So I understand your thyroid condition.

Um, and because of that, the, uh, doctors,

three different doctors said I would

never be able to get pregnant again.

If I did, I would not carry it.

But we serve a god of miracles.

Isn't it wonderful?

'cause I have two more kids

that prove those doctors wrong.

Um, after we moved to

Indiana from Akron, Ohio.

My husband got on the police department.

I was working at the Christian

school where our, our children

attended, and that's when he

got on the police department.

And we were excited about that.

What an opportunity to be a police

officer, but we didn't know the downfalls

that come with so many police officer

jobs and firemen and, you know, uniforms.

Um, and so it was during that time

in nine, I don't know exactly, 1978.

So when he met one of the dispatchers

and became involved with her,

and that led to divorce in 1979.

Very heartbreaking time, as I said.

And

when he, well, he left for a while and

then came back and I was so excited

because when he left, the first thing

I did was fall on my face before the

Lord and begin to plead and beg for.

The marriage not to end, but for

us to be able to work it out.

It didn't happen.

In fact, I

went to the her house and broke

the glass out of her door to enter.

And you'll hear, you'll read more

about that when you have a book.

When the book.

But anyhow, that was what then

brought me years later, um, to the

place that I could say to her, when

I had the opportunity to apologize to

her, I need to ask your forgiveness.

And she looked shocked.

And she said, you would need

to ask my forgiveness for what?

And I said, for breaking the

glass out of your door to enter.

And she said, oh, I would've

done worse than that.

Of course you're forgiven.

But that was a time that the Lord

put within my heart a deep love

for her and a desire to see her.

Grow to love the Lord.

So, Eileen, let me pause you there

a sec. 'cause I, I think this is

an interesting part of the book

that I didn't know the story.

I mean, you, the story in and of

itself is, is brutal to walk through.

But something that really hit me

that you, Carl leaves and really

unannounced, very painful for you.

And, and admittedly we're looking

through your eyes in these stories

and Kay's eyes in these stories.

And, uh, it'd be fascinating to talk to

Carl, you know, about, and one day we will

in heaven, which is pretty sweet, right?

Sorry.

Spoiler alert.

That's my bet.

Um, but, uh, I think it was so

heartbreaking to read that you,

you know, Carl leaves, you guys are

going to church, you're just crushed.

You're on your face before the Lord.

And then Carl comes back for a

while and then ultimately after

a few weeks, leaves for good and.

Uh, that was almost more painful to

go through reading that, listening

to where, you know, your heart was,

that that had to be such a brutal,

like not only Lord what happened, but

then God restored in a miraculous.

No, he didn't.

Yes.

So that really had to be a

challenge for your faith, huh?

In that time.

Well, it, that was the time.

Um, I went from her house straight

to my pastor's home, uh, home

in, and that was Johnny Coffin,

some of you know him personally.

Um, and I am so, so, so thankful for that

man and for his total trust in the Lord.

And I can still hear him as he,

he was shocked 'cause he had been

counseling us after Carl came

back the first time or came back.

But anyhow, he started trying to walk,

started walking me through the experience

that I had just had at her house.

And he said, now I want you to

see Jesus walk into that room.

And I'll be honest with you, I didn't

want Jesus to walk into that room.

I wanted to hate them.

In my mind at that time, the first

thought was, they don't deserve Jesus.

For Jesus to come in because

I knew what he would do.

He would forgive him.

And at that point, I wasn't

ready to forgive him either.

And I didn't want Jesus

to do it if I couldn't.

Wow.

So, yeah, I, I'm picturing Jonah sitting

up there watching the city of nfa, right?

He is like, I don't want to go

tell him, 'cause God, you're

gonna forgive him 'cause you're

gracious and loving and I hate him.

Right?

Like that.

You did better than Jonah.

So that's great, Eileen.

Good work.

But wow.

Yeah.

What a what and what an encouragement to

us because we live in a culture that's

so consumed with our justice, right?

We get treated unjustly

and our rights and our.

Our feelings get hurt.

And, and Jesus says, man, if

somebody has problem with you, go

to that person in, in humility and

see if you can make that right.

And this turn the other cheek nonsense

that we don't even talk, you know,

like that's hard stuff to live out.

And it's easy to say in church.

Uh, I don't know.

I don't know how easy it would be to talk

to somebody and pray for somebody and

try to genuinely care about somebody who

just pulled apart the love of my life.

And, um, man, that's so brutal.

Yeah.

It was, it was very painful.

But, you know, the Lord is faithful.

And as Johnny counseled and prayed

with me, I was able to reach that

point of forgiveness and I, I

truly forgave them, both of them,

and asked Jesus to forgive them.

And, uh, that was, that was

a life transforming Yeah.

Place for me right there.

Um.

And I, I do wanna share

one other thing too.

Then, um, right after

that had happened, um,

Wayne and Pam Filburn and Wayne is here

today, um, shared with me that the Lord

was going to bring healing so quickly in

my life that people would marvel at it.

And I can honestly say

that truly happened.

It came so quickly that forgiveness,

that surrender to the Lord, that ability

to, um, communicate love to them.

Um, only gut could have done that.

Yeah.

So, yeah.

Yeah.

It's good to have friends like that.

Mm, yes.

Could have had job's, friends show up.

That's not as helpful.

Right.

True.

That's fair.

That's fair.

Yeah.

Mm. I think I wanna make friends

with Wayne before he leaves today.

That sounds like a guy to know.

That's good.

What a, what a beautiful thing.

But even in your story multiple times,

you referenced the, the support of

God's people in some pretty cool ways.

Um, and man, that's probably something

that, uh, we get pretty isolated and we

get kind of busy doing our own little

stuff, but taking the opportunity to

just stop and pray with people and to

come alongside people who are hurting

and encourage each other, uh, you have

no idea how powerful that impact is.

Um, absolutely.

Absolutely.

So then it was just pretty much

God did some transforming work in

your heart and you were able to

navigate and then it was like smooth

sailing and perfect from there.

Okay.

That's not, I did read the book.

I'm just, I wish the leading

questions actually, um,

after Carl had, was gone definitely

forever, or at least I thought forever.

Um.

We faced some really difficult times.

In fact, for about 10 years, the, the

children and I lived through utter hell.

Um, I remember times of, uh, him

calling on the phone and talking

with the kids about something

that he or she were upset about.

And of course they were young.

Um, Angie was 12, Mick

was eight at the time.

Cindy was 18, so she was gone

from home shortly after he left.

But I could hear her in the background

telling him what to say as he scolded

the children and seeing them leaning over

the kitchen counter, just sobbing tears.

Um, I can remember Mick, Carl the

second, but we, we call him Mick.

Uh, I can remember him just

longing for time with his.

Sure to the point that finally I reached

out to Big Brothers and uh, he was

assigned a wonderful big brother who spent

lots of time with him, but that did not

replace the yearning for time with Daddy.

So, you know, there were a lot of things.

Uh, the Lord prompted me at different

times over the years to do things for

them because I forgot to mention this.

He had spoken to my heart early on that

he wanted me to love her into his kingdom.

And, um, how many think I

just real quick said, sure.

Nope, I didn't do that.

I laughed like Sarah laughed

when the angel told her she

was gonna bear, bear a child.

And I was clearly, I've ever

heard the Lord speak to me.

He said.

Can you trust me?

I was, I didn't interrupt you.

I was just thinking there's

no way I would've laughed.

Laughter wouldn't have been the

first thing coming outta my mouth.

If God had asked me to do that, I

would've been furious and angry.

And yet, well, I did that,

I did experience anger too.

Yeah.

Um, and, and again thought, why?

Yeah.

Why should I love her into the kingdom?

I don't even like her.

Yeah.

And rightfully so.

Sure.

So, yeah.

Wow.

But God told you, but God

asked, but because, go ahead.

No, actually, yeah.

Because of that, then he began to impress

upon me to do different things for them.

Um, like for instance, I had an

Olin Mills photo thing planned, you

know, where you could get pictures

taken over the year periodically.

And I wasn't gonna have any more

pictures taken after what had happened.

And so the Lord said to my heart.

Carl Kay could have a family picture

taken and you could let them have

your children in the picture.

Um, okay, change my heart then,

Lord, because I can't do it.

But again, when we ask and truly desire

a change in our hearts and our attitudes,

he moves and I offered it to them, and

they did have a family picture taken.

We still have that today.

Another thing was for their anniversary,

the Lord said, give them a gift card.

So I gave them a gift card, but, but

you know, the, the longer, the quicker

my love for her grew as the Lord

was changing my heart, the more, the

easier it was to give these gifts.

With, with genuine love

in my heart and a desire.

In fact, I had said to her at one point,

Kay, more than anything in the world, I

want you guys to have a, a long, happy

marriage, but the only way that can

happen is if your hearts are surrendered

to Jesus and he's Lord of your home.

And I can still see her.

She just stood, I, she said, oh, whatever.

And so as I, I, I was at her house

at that time, and as I stood to

leave, I said, can I give you a hug?

And she said, yeah.

And she just dropped her hands

down beside her and I hugged her

and she, she didn't reciprocate.

But, you know, seeds planted along

the way and the Lord brings fruit from

those seeds that have been planted.

So, man, amen.

I don't even really.

Like Eileen, it's fun as a preacher to

like share God's truth and help people

think about application, but like

you're in territory that doesn't exist.

That the people who, who hurt you so

deeply that you show grace and kindness

and sacrificial love back to them.

And it's not phony and

it's not some agenda.

It's just because of the grace

and the transforming that

God's done in your heart.

And only because of that are

you able to express love.

'cause it probably wasn't

even your love really.

Right.

It was our Heavenly

Father's ridiculous love.

Yes.

Right.

Wow.

Yeah.

So many people have said, who know our

story have said I could never do that.

And my immediate response is, neither

could I. Yeah, that's what I said.

But he can, when we're open to allow

him to move and work through us.

Hmm.

And that's what happened.

It, it wasn't me.

Believe me, I'm as human

as the next person.

It was not me and a criminal.

'cause you broke into a house.

We know that now, that's, he's

gonna make sure that's out there.

He'll probably use that every end.

That, that'll be one of my

notes, just so you know.

Right?

Yeah.

That was quite a, an incident that

was, um, in the early part of it.

And he, after he had come back home and

he, uh, as I left for work that morning, I

was teaching, working a Christian school.

And he said, I have court

duty this morning or today.

And I said, okay.

No, it was the night before.

He told me he would have

court duty the next morning.

And so the children, it was the last

day of school for the children at

a Christian school where I worked.

And uh, I said, will you be home?

By the time the kids come home,

'cause they had a ride home from

school and Oh yeah, he said,

I'll be home by noon easily.

Well, in my spirit, you know how

the Lord sometimes just prompts

you, there's something not right.

Well, in my spirit, I had this uneasiness.

And so about 1130 I called at the

house and there was no answer.

I waited a couple minutes and

I called again, no answer.

And so come 12 o'clock before

I left, I called again.

Still no answer.

So I, I took the children home myself,

went in the house and he wasn't there.

And I walked in our bedroom and

laying on the, uh, chest at the, in

the side was his, uh, uniform hat.

And my heart broke because he would never

go to court without being in full uniform.

And so I knew.

And that was when I finally was almost one

o'clock and I needed to be back to work.

I locked the door and told the

kids, don't answer the door.

All the things you tell your kids.

And drove by the police station, the

courthouse, every place I could think of.

And finally, the one place I did think

of and didn't want to think of her house.

And as I, I remember as I turned onto her

street, I said, Lord, don't let it be.

Please don't let it be.

And his motorcycle was parked in her

driveway and I just dropped my head

on the steering wheel and sobbed,

and I pulled in the driveway and I,

she had a bench sitting downstairs.

And I, it was the, it was an upstairs.

And um, I just sat down on that

bench for quite some time and

that's when I broke out the glass.

I finally thought.

I guess I'll just go upstairs.

Yeah, but you, you metaphorically

and re met your breaking point.

Right?

It was right there man.

And that same lady who is totally

shattered, like the glass ends

up rejoicing and celebrating

when Kay comes to faith in Jesus.

Like and that was real.

That wasn't something you

made up to put in the book.

Right.

That was real.

That was very real.

Wow.

That was very real.

So you were really actually happy

that she came to faith in Jesus.

Like really?

I was like, this is a safe place.

Eile.

You could be honest with us.

That was, well, can I back up first?

Oh, you can do it anything you want.

I need share with you folks.

I'm gonna do it.

That life as a single adult,

uh, sometimes opens doors for

doors We'd rather have closed.

And that happened with me.

Um, I met a man and became

involved with him in the wrong

manner for a single person, and

it went on for a year and a half.

And spiritually I felt myself drying up.

I still was active in all the stuff at

church, all the things people thought I

was this wonderful Christian lady and I

did love the Lord, but I sure was being

disobedient to what I knew to be truth.

Hmm.

And, uh, the Lord so loved me.

I call him the hound of heaven

because he will do anything to draw

his wayward children back to him.

His love for us is so deep.

Yes, and it is not dependent

on what we do or do not do.

It is unconditional.

He sent two women to my house,

and when they walked up on

there was all glass in my door.

When they stepped up on the

porch, I saw them come up and

I knew why they were there.

And I said to the Lord,

why did you send them?

There are two powerful prayer

warriors from our church.

I opened the door for them, and those

of you that know me, know me as a

friendly person, outgoing, friendly,

believe me, I was not friendly to them.

I opened the door, I stepped

back, crossed my arms.

Didn't even say come in,

just stepped out of the way.

And they came in and

began to share with me

that the Lord knew what I was

doing and was not pleased.

And he wanted me to repent.

And I'll be honest, I, I look

back on now and I think, how

could I have been so heartened?

I sat, and that's why I told Pastor

I wanted to rocking chair up.

I sat like this

as they talked, and finally one of

them said, we're getting nowhere.

Let's pray.

Amen.

There you go and pray.

They did.

And the spirit of brokenness came over

my heart and repentance, and I sobbed

before the Lord as his forgiveness.

My life was transformed once again.

Once again, and I knew I

belonged to Jesus Christ.

My sins were forgiven.

I was right before, and once again,

it doesn't matter how long we've walked

with the Lord, unless we keep active

in Bible reading, in prayer, in seeking

his space, in being in His presence.

We are susceptible to

the lies of the enemy.

To the attacks.

To the temptations.

But we don't have to be.

We don't have to be.

Amen.

Amen.

Man, I love, I love that you

share in your book that account.

If you've talked to Eileen

about it, I didn't want to.

I was gonna say.

Mm-hmm.

And it wasn't in the 1990 copy, right?

It was the, it was what

God told you lately?

Yes.

That you had to add for this one.

Yeah.

I had it already to send to the publisher

and the Lord said, you forgot something.

And, and it's probably worth noting

that Eileen and I, a few weeks ago,

she gave me a copy of what she thought

maybe we would share here today.

And then she caught me

after church was like.

Uh, I might have left out.

One part I need to put too, none of us

are proud of the, the mistakes, right?

And the devil loves to bring shame

and there's guilt 'cause of our sin.

But Jesus says, come and

repent and I make you clean.

And that thing we talked about

last week, that cycle of shame.

That's, that's from the enemy.

That's not from God.

God doesn't shame us.

That's about, I mean, shame is

about our character and that's,

God says, you're my child.

Guilt is about maybe a

choice and an action.

And he gives us opportunity

to come back and repent.

And, um, I, I love, I love it.

I don't know if you guys are like me, but

sometimes you go into a church and you see

an older person who obviously has been a

saint since diapers and you're like, ah,

I could never be as saintly as they, uh,

it's just refreshing to be reminded that.

We're just real people walking through

this life and there's failures and

there's sin and there's brokenness,

and we gotta keep coming back to

Jesus and saying, Lord, see if

there'd be any wicked way in me.

Or maybe God brings somebody into

our life to, to remind us like David

had, or you had friends that say,

Hey, God knows and he loves you.

I mean, that was love.

That wasn't, that wasn't the, the Jesus

police coming to get you, you know?

Yeah.

It was the hound of heaven.

That hound of heaven ran after me.

But yeah, it was, yeah, it was.

Well, and I wanna say something here that,

um, before we jump back to Case salvation.

When I read the book, and I'll do a

quick book plug, this is a very easy

read and it gives you three perspectives.

Um, every chapter has Eileen

and Kay and Carl's perspective.

And maybe you guys have found

yourself in this situation of a

blended family and the pain and the

brokenness that comes through it.

And maybe you haven't, but I, the

Holy Spirit spoke through this book

for, um, for me, the reminder about

miscommunication and how quickly that

can happen if we choose to fight for

our own agendas and not God's agenda.

And, um, I, the, the way God was

glorified through this book was you

being a willing vessel to do what

God wanted to do, even though your

circumstances and community and you

had all the reasons to, to act poorly.

Um, and over and over God used

those opportunities when you

didn't fight for your own thing,

but you let God fight for you.

And it was incredible.

And I think part of you said a year and

a half that you lived in disobedience.

Um, I know God wanted you to get back

on clear path with him to be able to, to

move rapidly in the ways that you didn't

even know were needed, you know, um,

for case salvation and things like that.

And so I just wanna challenge you,

even if this is not situation that does

relate to your life, I would encourage

you to read it and be reminded of how

powerfully God can work when we stay

keeping our eyes fixed on him and not

letting others' perspectives or what

we feel entitled to get in the way.

So, um, I just wanted to comment on that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And um, as far as her salvation, now, you

know, like I said earlier, she was five

years older than our oldest daughter, so

she was 19 years younger than my husband.

Um, but the day came that she called me

on the phone one day and wanted to know

if I could teach her shorthand in typing.

And I said, sure, I would love to do that.

So she and our oldest daughter came

once a week, I think it was once a week,

and I would teach them shorthand and

finally ended up that Cindy dropped out.

But Kay continued teach 'em her

shorthand and, and typing skills.

And then after the lessons were

over, we would just sit and talk.

And over a period of time there, the

rapport between us just deepened.

And I think she began to sense

that there really was genuine

love in my heart for her.

Mm-hmm.

And she was just like my own daughter.

I mean five years older

than our oldest daughter.

And so, anyhow, um, so the time came that,

and Cindy was still there at the time

that I said to her one day, would you like

to pray and ask Jesus into your heart?

And she said, yeah, yeah, she would.

So she did, she prayed and

asked Jesus to forgive her sins.

Well, there was still a lot

of struggles after that.

She was an agnostic.

She had never had any teaching,

spiritual teaching at all.

Um, and so it was a baby

beginning to take baby steps.

And so there were still many

rough years, but the time came.

Okay.

Time was, yeah, the time came when,

um, she called me in tears one day and

she said, can I come over and talk?

And I said, absolutely.

She came over and she was just

sobbing and she sat down and she was

a very heavy woman, and she sat down

in the chair and I melted her feet.

And, uh, she said, Eileen, um,

I know you, you nor God can.

Never truly forgive me,

but could you at least try?

And I said, okay, I forgave you years ago.

Mm-hmm.

And I said, all you have to do is

ask Jesus and he'll forgive you.

And she, I said, would you like to

pray and ask him to forgive you?

And she said, yes.

So she did.

I let her in a prayer and she

prayed and asked him to forgive her.

And then she said to me, and

I know that I'll just carry

this guilt the rest of my life.

And I said, no, no, no.

You won't have to carry the

guilt the rest of your life.

I said, you can just, um, ask Jesus

to lift it from you, and he will.

And so again, a letter and a prayer

asking him to freer from the guilt.

When she left, she said, I just

thought she just tried to be nice.

I know I'll carry the Guiltless way.

And on the way home she said,

I was laughing and crying

and singing and praying.

She said, I pulled in in front of the

house and I realized the guilts all gone.

He really had lifted it.

She said it was just like a burden

that hung on her and it was gone.

He's faithful.

He's faithful.

Wow.

And what else really matters, right?

Like Kay is gonna be

an eternity with Jesus.

We're those of those who know

Jesus are gonna be a you, Carl, all

three of you getting to hang out

there and still like each other.

But we get so caught up in the

stuff of this life and our own

injustice and the moments and the,

just the circumstances of things.

But I mean to see to the love of our God.

It doesn't make sense, right?

Like it just doesn't, because there

ought to be some anger and there

ought to be some punishment and some

hatred in there somewhere, you know?

And yet it's just not who he is.

He just loves.

And what a beautiful thing

to, to read in that book.

Her freedom and it being like, I

mean, she destroyed your marriage.

I mean, you can blame it on

a lot of things too, right?

But she was, she was part of it.

And yet, instead of carrying that

guilt and that shame for the rest

of her life, she didn't, she didn't.

And she walked in freedom and love and

joy and that same thing's available to us.

But I mean, and how often does the

enemy just deceive us into believing

and owning our guilt and our shame?

And God could never love me.

Uh, I had somebody tell me this.

Maybe it was just, I

don't know who it was.

Uh, it.

Somebody told 'em about like,

Hey, do you, do you get cleaned

up before you go into the shower?

No, you go into the shower,

you get cleaned up, right?

And so many of us are like, I, I'm too

dirty to go see Jesus or God in my filth.

He wouldn't accept me.

And it's like, no, no,

no, he, he is the shower.

Let's go.

Come in here and get clean and

get free from all of this bondage

of sin and guilt and shame

'cause we don't have to carry it.

It's a beautiful story's.

Story's.

And I don't know, you know, I think about

all of you here today, and there are

probably some of you that are carrying

a ton of guilt, maybe unforgiveness.

You know, the Lord knows your heart,

regardless of what you may portray

on the outside, just as he knew mine.

So just remember, it doesn't

matter what your burden, what

your guilt, what your sin is.

He's a father that loves you.

That died for you.

And Rose victorious from the grave.

And he's right now sitting

at his father's right hand

interceding for every one of us.

Mm-hmm.

He sees when we fall, he doesn't put

blame, he doesn't accuse us, but he

loves us and he calls us back to him.

And if that's you here

today, he's just waiting.

He's just waiting for you.

You speak the word father,

forgive for father heal, and

it's yours just like that.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

In fact, we're gonna have Rusty sneak up

here and Robin at the piano for a minute.

We're gonna sit right here in

this nice comfortable space.

And uh, we decided early on that we wanted

to give people an opportunity to respond

to what God maybe wants to do in them.

And so, uh, we're just gonna play a

little music for a minute and we're

just gonna sit in this space, but.

We'd like to invite you to

think about, nah, you don't

have to think about anything.

Probably the Holy Spirit already is

working on the things that you know are in

your heart that are areas of maybe guilt

and shame, maybe some brokenness and hurt.

But we want to take a few minutes and

give you an opportunity to, to come

and to pray at this simple little

altar of steps and just to lay some

of those things at Jesus's feet.

'cause he loves you so much and if

you listen to the story, there's just

nothing else that really matters more

than eternity with Jesus this life.

It's all temporary.

These relationships and the messes and the

hurts and the pain, we can hold onto that.

We can hold onto anger, we can hold onto

bitterness, but it just destroys us.

And maybe some people here this morning

that need to come and just kneel and

say, Jesus, can you take this because

I've been carrying this guilt and this

anger or this shame and I don't even know

how I can keep staggering through it or

I don't even know what to do with it.

But that's the beauty.

You don't have to do anything

but just come to him and and ask.

And he wants to meet you in that space.

So would you bow your heads for just

a moment in this time and we're just

gonna give the Lord an opportunity

to, to work how he wants to.

And if you'd like to come pray,

invite you to do that and see

what the Lord wants to do in you.

I don't want to interrupt anybody's

prayer time or focus, but I just want to,

I just wanna take a second enough.

I don't mix here this morning.

Know where he's at.

Is he here?

Still here up.

I just wanna say this, man.

It's uh, it's gotta be really

hard to sit here, have your whole

life story spread out everywhere.

I just want you to know that.

Thank you for letting your mom share this.

Got to hang out with your son

yesterday for a long time at the ark.

That was fun.

Maybe not as fun.

We'll see.

Um, but I'm just thinking about how

much, you know, makes a grown man with

his own kids and got life right and not

trapped back in the past and navigating

the good things Jesus is doing now.

My heart just breaks for

all of the hurt that's here.

You know, some of you guys

walked through messy marriages.

Some of you had moms and

dads who, who left and.

Some, you had moms and dads

who stayed and it was more

miserable had they left, right?

So many things that we walked through

and our God, he doesn't abandon us.

He's present in all of that.

He loves you and we walk through

this fallen world with all of this

brokenness, and for whatever reason,

he's allowed us some free will

to, to do life and make choices.

And sometimes those choices hurt people.

Sometimes those choices make messes even

for us, but it doesn't mean God's not

at work, and it doesn't mean he's not

present and his promise to make beauty out

of the ashes and to cause all things to

work together for the good of those who

love him and who are called according,

called according to his purpose.

That's, that's the message of this

story to Meile was not perfect.

She's probably still not even perfect.

And it's not about Eileen's perfection.

It never was.

It was just about your obedience and your

desire to try to walk in relationship

with your father in heaven and keep

pressing into that even when it was

hard and he met you every step along

the way, and even when you walked

away and you stayed right there.

Actually, that's not true.

He came after you, right?

And he loves you so much.

So I don't know what

you're walking through.

The circumstances, the situations of

your life that feel broken and a mess,

the guilt and the shame, the hurt,

the past, the history, the stuff you

wanna hold onto, that's bitterness

and anger, frustration, or confusion.

It's my hope for you, all of you,

for me, that just the love of

Jesus, so melts all that stuff away.

It just doesn't matter.

And if you can give to the Lord

the stuff that you're holding

onto so tightly and just live with

open hands and watch him work.

He can do stuff.

He can do stuff that cannot be done.

Nobody writes a book like this.

Nobody, but our God does stuff that

can be done because he is the God of

the miraculous and the impossible,

except nothing is impossible with him.

So I hope you can buy this book.

If you can't, I want you to

take a copy with you for real.

Don't even pretend you don't.

If you can't afford it, grab a copy.

Get Eileen to autograph it for you.

Put her email in there so

you can call or text her.

Whatever.

No, let's get, don't do that.

I, we want you to take this story and

we want you to be able to live your

story with the same kind of faith.

And honesty and genuineness

as you navigate it.

And you may not write it in a book

so we can all read it, but you're

writing it in the courts of heaven.

The story that, your story, that

God is walking out in your life.

And man, it's the bestseller to him.

'cause you matter so much to him.

Well, and I think, um, when you were

sharing, um, this verse came to mind, and

I think that as you're talking it, it fits

in here too because family of God, this

is, you're here for a reason today, right?

This is God's call to you.

Um, but Paul writes to Titus in, um,

Titus two, and I'm gonna throw the guy

part on here, but I've been so thankful

to have Eileen around for the last year

and a half and to keep reminding me like

you're always older than someone and

you're always younger to someone, right?

And so keep doing the things

God's called you to do.

But Titus two says, as for you,

Titus, promote the kind of living

that reflects wholesome teach.

Teach the older men to exercise

self-control, to be worthy of

respect and to live wisely.

They must have sound, faith, and

be filled with love and patience.

Similarly, teach the older women

to live in a way that honors God.

They must not slander

others or be heavy drinkers.

Instead, they should

teach others what is good.

These older women must train the younger

women to love their husbands and their

children, to live wisely and to be pure,

to work in their homes, to do good,

and to be submissive to their husbands.

Then they will not bring shame on

the word of God and it goes on.

But I'm just very thankful for Eileen's

testimony, what she's put out there in her

book and what she has shown to her family.

But to me as a younger woman, thank you

for just continuing to trust God and lean

into him, and I really appreciate that.

So she has a poem she's

going to read to end.

Did you know that?

I did.

Okay.

I forgot.

I can't remember.

Okay.

I write, I do write poetry and.

This poet poem is called Life's Road.

It's one I wrote several years ago,

but it so applies to what we've

shared, what I've shared today.

I thought the road would lead straight

ahead with never a curve or a bend.

I thought it was paved and smooth as could

be, and that I could just sail to the end.

As I started my walk down the long, long

road, there were obstacles of every kind

that caused me to stumble, to cry out

in pain, and at times to lag way behind.

I had not planned for sickness to

strike or for death to knock at my door.

I thought I was set financially,

didn't know what it was to be poor.

My home had always been filled with

love, and I was sure it would always be.

So the thought of divorce

was foreign to me.

I didn't want that pain to know my

goal in life was to serve the Lord.

And to him ever faithful be.

I was confident if I just trusted

him, he'd keep my road trouble free.

But as I journeyed along life's road,

I found there was much to learn.

I needed to be reshaped within,

though from sin I'd already turned.

I learned as I faced the

trials of each day, that in my

father, I must trust He is for.

He is the one who has planned my road

and his ways are always just, it may

seem unfair that I should bear some

sickness or loss, or pain, but he

knows just what experience I need

and his love will always sustain.

So every day as I walk life's

road, I seek his strength and love.

His refining process is preparing me

to be a part of his kingdom above.

Amen.

Amen.

Well, I think I'm gonna close this

in prayer here, just a moment.

But we'll let Eileen, maybe

you can escort a lean back to

her table and we'll pray here.

And daughter and your daughter-in-law.

All right, back to the

table, daughter-in-law.

Let's go.

Oh, well thank you for this really special

morning, Eileen, and make your family.

Thanks for letting us intrude

into some painful space with you

guys to see the goodness of God.

And, uh, if you walk with Jesus very long,

you kinda kinda learn that these scars,

let you said broad scars aren't meant

for us, they're meant for everybody else.

And when we take those scars and we share

what Jesus did through those oh man.

There's hope and there's

encouragement no matter where you're

at and what you're dealing with.

So I hope you can take that with

you this morning as we close

and grab the copy of the book.

Read it.

I'm not a great reader.

I'm an avid researcher, a wretched reader.

I just get distracted and read

some, some other book or some other

chapter like a squirrel, right?

I just get lost.

But, uh, I rocked this one out in four

hours just short of Jamie's record.

And, uh, couldn't put it down because

it was compelling to watch and to see.

And maybe it's something that you need

to grab a copy to share with a friend

or a family member, and spread this

message to the people around you in

the circles of influence that you have,

that they might see the hope of Jesus.

Father, thank you for your

incredible love for us.

We could talk about a lot

of things, but you are love.

Not some kind of phony love that just

lets us do whatever we want and we

never learn or grow or change course

from paths that lead to destruction.

But you are legit, genuine, deep beyond

comprehension love that chases us

down and are our brokenness and our

sinfulness and doesn't beat us up there.

But God offers us life and hope and

forgiveness and restoration that's real.

You invite us into your family, not as

servants, not as second class citizens,

but as legitimate sons and daughters

of your, we don't deserve that.

But Jesus, thank you that

that's what you offer us.

So God, I pray that for everybody

here this morning, people who get

to tune in online eventually, Lord.

Would you please, would you please

remind us of that love personally for us?

Would you please draw us out of

our guilt and our shame outta the

shadows that we find ourselves in,

the struggles out of the bitterness

and anger that's in our hearts?

God, would you encourage us this morning

to be able to just let all that go and

to drive away from church like Kay drove

away singing and smiling, and all of a

sudden realizing that she's free from

all the chains and all the destruction

and discouragement and hopelessness

that the devil wants us to walk in.

Help us experience your loving

freedom this day, and I pray you

would bless this book and this

message and you would send it.

From Jerusalem to Juth to the

uttermost parts of the earth.

Many people would get to hear what

you're capable of and reach out to you

and experience that in their lives.

Thank you, Jesus.

We love you.

In your name we pray, amen.