Longing For Affirmation | The Road Up 5

Hey, what up?

It's Mark Carter.

I'm the pastor of Fierce Church.

Welcome to our podcast.

I'm so pumped that you're able to join us today.

I hope this encourages you, inspires you, strengthens you, gives you hope to keep pressing on, and it's my prayer that this sermon gives you a more expansive view of God's love for you.

Enjoy the message.

Hey, we're talking a little bit about mentoring on Father's Day.

There is something in the heart of a man I've never been a woman, so I don't know about women but there's something in the heart of a man that wants to slay the dragon.

They want someone to come along and help, make them a little bit better.

Not slay the dragon for them, but maybe give them a little bit of counsel, sharpen them a little bit, just like all those mentors did for their protégés, so that they can rise up and slay the dragons in their lives.

When we have father figures in our lives, it produces greater stability, it produces greater guidance.

It opens up the door for more opportunities.

Also, when a young person lives in a fatherless home, here's what happens 25 million children in the US live without their biological fathers.

85% of the folks of the kids in prison are from fatherless homes.

71% of high school dropouts are from fatherless homes.

90% of all homeless children or runaways are from fatherless homes.

Even so, when there is a father figure, some kind of an adult, pouring in to those children, 55% are more likely to go to college, 78% are more likely to volunteer regularly and 130% are more likely to hold leadership positions.

There's something in each of us isn't there.

There's an ache to be encouraged, to be challenged, to be said hey man, I see you, I affirm what's good in you, I challenge what's bad in you.

Hey man, I see you, I affirm what's good in you, I challenge what's bad in you and I believe in you.

I know you can do this.

I know you can slay that dragon.

I'm betting most of you felt something like that ache before, even if you had an awesome dad.

I had an awesome dad.

He didn't fail in any of those respects.

And yet I still wanted, as I became a young man, I wanted the affirmation of other men who could kind of evaluate and say is this guy a man or isn't he?

And men sometimes are asking that question their whole lives.

Sometimes, maybe for you, you have mishandled the mentoring thing as I have on different occasions.

There was a time there's probably multiple times when I was wanting a certain person to be a mentor to me, but honestly, there were times I was so arrogant around them that they learned quickly.

I don't know, this one's too difficult.

This isn't going to be so easy.

I'm going to move on to an easier guy.

Maybe you've been like me also who, when God did entrust you with someone else to encourage them, maybe you messed it up a little bit.

Maybe you didn't do the right thing and you didn't end up helping him in the way that you'd hoped you could.

I remember one time there's a young man who was a volunteer here at the church and they were trying their legs out at a leadership role and I didn't know this, but they kind of come from a home where they received no encouragement and in their mind they thought I was going to give them massive encouragement as they rocked out their role.

Well, he came to me for feedback one day after service and he said hey, man, what do you think?

How'd that go?

And I gave him very direct, like you know, that was good, really good.

This was not so great, but this was all really good.

I dealt with him probably like I usually like to be dealt with, but because I wasn't listening, because I wasn't paying enough attention.

I needed to encourage that guy a lot more in that moment.

If I would have been more in his life I would have known that, but I wasn't and I missed my opportunity and he was devastated by it.

He ended up leaving the church, not because probably I'd failed him as a mentor, but he didn't get the encouragement that he thought he was going to get.

Was he right to do that?

It doesn't matter.

I was wrong to not be more invested.

So maybe you've done that, maybe you've you've messed up, maybe you've had somebody let you down, maybe there was somebody who's supposed to be there for you.

They were supposed to challenge or you just you thought they were and then for some reason or other maybe like me that day they just didn't.

They just missed their boat.

What we're going to find out today is mentors, counsel can be a dramatic part of us fulfilling our purpose on earth.

That sounds really heavy, and yet we're going to see in the scriptures it's true, and it's even true for people like Moses.

Come on, man, moses.

Moses is like the guy.

Nobody's wondering if he's a man, and yet we're going to see in a moment.

Moses is camped out with the Israelites.

They're just about to get to Mount Sinai where Moses is going to receive the Ten Commandments and he's going to move Israel into a new chapter, new level in their walking with God.

And yet before he gets there, he gets some time with his father-in-law, jethro.

You guys remember Jethro.

He was the one who he actually took Moses in years earlier, when Moses was a fugitive on the run from Pharaoh.

He took him in, he gave him a job, spent decades with him, gave him his daughter to marry.

Jethro's coming back Now he's heard about this stuff that's going on with Moses and Israel.

They've come out of Egypt now all these great plagues and Red Sea parting and all this stuff is happening with this Moses guy.

This little, this is a shepherd before.

Now he's done all this incredible stuff and Jethro's on his way back to visit Moses.

And we're going to see.

Moses is very blessed that Jethro shows up because he gives him some super important counsel that helps Moses move forward.

And you would think if you're Moses you're probably like dude, I'm Moses, I don't really need a lot of help.

I'll talk directly to God.

I talk face to face to God as a man talks to his friend, and yet God doesn't give us everything directly.

There are certain lessons that can only come through other people.

So what do we got to do?

We got to be very careful.

If we're in the position to influence somebody, we need to do it affectionately.

We need to do it in a way that they can receive it based on their personality.

But if we're the one on the receiving end, we need to listen.

Somebody say listen.

We need to listen humbly, so they want to keep investing in us.

Let's pick it up.

Verse one Moses' father-in-law, jethro, the priest of Midian, heard about everything God had done for Moses and his people, the Israelites.

He heard especially how the Lord had rescued them from Egypt.

Earlier Moses had sent his wife Zipporah and his two sons back to Jethro, who had taken them in.

Okay.

So if you remember, last time we saw Zipporah, she was on the road with Moses and he failed to circumcise his son.

It was a big to-do and she got mad at him.

Somewhere between then and now, moses sent her and the boys back to Jethro.

They were on their way to Egypt before he really had encountered Pharaoh, but we don't know when.

The scripture doesn't say, but maybe it was because Moses kind of clued in when he saw how dangerous it was in Egypt and how much potential trouble he might be in.

He sent them back.

Jethro took them back and now he's bringing the whole family back.

Hey, it's been a couple months.

Let's go see Moses, let's see what's going on there.

Moses, let's see what's going on.

Let's go see Moses, let's see what's going on there.

I'm gonna skip down to verse 13.

And here's what's happened.

Jethro has listened to the story now.

They sat down, they had a meal.

They even had a meal kind of as a sacrifice before the Lord Next week we're going to talk about that.

But they reconnect, they have some time together and then it's the next morning.

They've had their full, they've had relational reconnection and Jethro's going to watch Moses go to work.

So verse 13, the next day Moses took his seat to hear the people's disputes against each other.

They walked before him from morning till evening.

Now, unless you're reading the book of Exodus kind of all in one sitting, you're going to miss what just happened there.

Moses is sitting judging Israel.

He's bringing his God's understanding and God's judgments on all the different disputes.

This is a million and a half people, at least not counting the kids.

We don't know how many there were.

Okay, so if there's a million and a half people, there's going to be trouble.

There's going to be people that don't get along.

They're going to need somebody to like get in the middle of that and tell them what God actually thinks.

Remember, they're former slaves.

They're just used to getting whipped Like get back in line, man, and so now their entire nation, and they've got to learn.

Someone's got to bring God's laws to our understanding, and it's only Moses.

But even as he's doing this, we might remember back to chapter two, when the Egyptian after Moses tried to defend this Hebrew against an Egyptian.

The Hebrew says who made you judge over us, moses, get out of here.

Well, now God has made Moses judge over Israel, and I bring that up.

It's kind of a sidelight, but I bring that up to say guys, sometimes the seeds of a calling are there and we don't get encouraged to keep walking and we kind of sense maybe there's something that I should do, Maybe I've got some gifts and I'm hoping someone will point it out, and I just want to encourage you.

Sometimes nobody does and God can still bring it to pass, just like he did with Moses.

Can we hear that?

I wish somebody would have spoken it to Moses, but nobody did, and so God eventually just brings it to pass anyway, moses.

So he asked him.

Moses' father-in-law saw that Moses was doing for all the people.

He asked what are you really accomplishing here?

Why are you trying to do all this alone while everyone stands around you from morning till evening?

Okay, so this is the end of the day.

Jethro has just watched Moses.

Big lines of people coming to Moses, sitting down in this little booth, and they're saying well, here's the story, here's what we did.

Moses weighs in.

Well, here's what God thinks, here's what you should do.

Jethro's watched him all day.

Moses gets home, it's probably, you know, time to eat, eat dinner.

Let's all sit down.

And Jethro says by the way, moses, I've been watching this and I just want to know what are you doing?

What do you think you're like?

What are you accomplishing here?

Why are you doing this alone?

In fact, the NASB says what is this thing that you're doing for the people?

Why do you alone sit as judge?

Moses replied because the people come to me to get a ruling from God.

When a dispute arises, they come to me and I'm the one who settles the case between the quarreling parties.

I inform the people of God's decrees and then give them his instructions.

This is not good.

Moses' father-in-law exclaimed You're going to wear yourself out and the people do this job.

It's too heavy a burden for you to handle by yourself.

Now listen to me and let me give you a word of advice, and may God be with you.

You should continue to be the people's representative before God, bringing their disputes to him.

Teach them God's decrees and give them his instructions.

Show them how to conduct their lives, but select from all the people some capable, honest men who fear God and hate bribes.

Appoint them as leaders over groups of 1,000, 150, and 10.

They should always be available to solve the people's common disputes.

But have them bring the major cases to you.

Let the leaders decide.

Somebody say let the leaders decide.

Come on, I'm specifically speaking to the micromanagers.

Let the leaders decide.

Let the leaders decide the smaller matters for themselves.

They will help you carry the load, making the task easier for you.

If you follow this advice and if God commands you to do so, then you will be able to endure the pressures and all these people will go home in peace.

Moses listened to his father-in-law's advice and followed his suggestions.

He chose capable men from all over Israel and appointed them as leaders over the people, put them in charge of groups of 1,000, 150, and 10.

These men were available to solve the people's common disputes.

They brought the major cases to Moses, but they took care of the smaller matters themselves.

Soon after this, moses said goodbye to his father-in-law, who returned to his own land.

Wow, a key to fulfilling our purpose involves succeeding with the help of others.

Succeeding with the help of others and helping others succeed.

That's what Jethro did for Moses.

He helped him succeed and Moses succeeded because he had help.

It's trying to be clarified for us here in the book of Exodus that, even if you're Moses and really guys, I mean think this through Moses is writing this.

He's saying, hey, people in the future who are going to read this, just so you know, even I need counsel from a mentor, and so, because every man, woman and child needs counsel to fulfill their destiny, we need to learn how to do this today.

We need to learn how to do it gently, how to bring affectionate counsel and also how to receive counsel in a way that really allows us to listen.

So here we go.

True affirmation requires men to true affirmation.

Every man wants affirmation.

Requires men to true affirmation.

Every man wants affirmation.

But we get the kind of affirmation that isn't necessarily true.

We know how to get likes these days.

We know how to like.

Let me check if I got some more likes on that thing or hearts or whatever it is, and if we become addicted to that.

The problem with that is it's really not feedback, it's just little minor applause.

We're like do people approve?

It reinforces insecurity, but it didn't improve us in any way in our substance.

It didn't prepare us for more dragons, it just said that is not the affirmation that men need.

Men need true affirmation.

That means I see your substance and I see it improving and I want to help it improve.

That's true affirmation.

True affirmation requires men to humbly listen to counsel.

What happened?

Moses listened to his father's advice and followed his suggestions and he chose those leaders.

He listened and he chose.

He didn't just listen, he listened and then he chose.

Moses knew what every wise person knows it's only wisdom if you do it.

If he would have just listened to the wisdom of Jethro.

It wouldn't have made Moses wise.

He's not wise until he does the wisdom.

Moses receives the counsel even though he's Moses.

Now, if you're Moses, you might have rejected Jethro.

You might have been like, oh please, please, sir, maybe you think I'm still just some shepherd.

No, I'm the leader of this entire nation.

Did you know?

Did you know about the Red Sea?

And you think I mean, have you managed a nation, jethro?

I'm just curious, have you done this?

He could have reacted like that.

It's this old man always riding me all these years and now he wants to presume to come and give me this advice.

But Moses knew a secret that we all need to know, and that is you don't need somebody to be an expert in every sense on your thing for God to use them to bring you good advice about your thing.

Come on somebody.

Sometimes we're like, well, I don't think they know about my thing, they don't need to know about your thing everything, because there's a lot of aspects to life and there's certain things that God is sending them to maybe communicate to us if we've got humble ears to hear, and it doesn't mean they know everything that we know.

But we really know a lot less than we think we know.

Come on somebody.

There was a young pastor in the early 2000s.

The internet was just kind of like coming online for ministry and he was one of the first guys to have like a real podcast going out and people loved it and he got this big church.

Suddenly he had like a mega church.

He was going to all the conferences.

He was going to the places where people that were far older than him, who had been in ministry for years, who had large ministries, he was going to places with them, but he wasn't taking advantage of them.

People would ask him hey, man, you're with all these really famous guys Like they could help you so much.

Why aren't you taking more advantage of this?

And he says because until they've got a bigger church than me, I can't receive anything from them.

Unfortunately, about 10 years later, that minister had a great fall.

He's working his way back now, but I don't think he would say the same thing.

We don't need people to understand everything or be more advanced than us to receive their counsel, especially when it's about things about our character, about how we carry ourselves, about, if the substance is really there, so that it matters whether or not we slay the dragon.

So let's just all agree.

Let's not be demanding that everybody has to be an expert in our area for us to receive anything from them.

Let's just say I'm open, I want to receive anything that anybody is saying if God sends them.

See, moses, he's so awesome.

Even though he's Moses, he's flexible.

How many are old?

And still flexible?

Moses is still flexible.

He's responsive to his mentor.

He's like yeah, I'll change.

That's a good idea.

Let's change how I'm doing this.

Moses isn't married to the past.

He's not like well, look, man, this is the way we've done it, so this is the way we've got to do it.

No, he says well, this was iterative, this got me through the day, but now I'm hearing a new way, a better way that makes more sense for the future.

Moses, like we'd need to do, check this out.

He assumes other people can see flaws in his pseudo system.

He assumes other people can see flaws that he does not see and he's open to that feedback.

So we're all doing life right.

We're all figuring out.

He does not see and he's open to that feedback.

So we're all doing life right.

We're all figuring out how to do stuff and some things we're rocking and some things we're pseudo doing.

We got a pseudo system like Moses.

It's not great, it works for the day but it's not fantastic.

And someone else can come along and say, oh you know, I really care about you and I see flaws in just the way that you're doing this.

It doesn't mean that you're bad, it just means the thing you're doing doesn't work as well as this would work for the thing that you seem to want.

Moses, wisely, was open to Jethro.

Jethro, I mean, he's like Moses.

This thing is good that you're doing Like.

It's a good heart that you're doing it.

I hear why it's you.

It makes sense that it's you.

It's just that the way you're doing, bro, you're not gonna be the last like this.

How are you ever gonna lead these people if you gotta meet with every single one of them?

Moses was blessed to have Jethro.

I wanna introduce you to two of my friends.

This is Phineas, the full and flowing honey bear.

You see this guy.

He's got some rich, tasty honey inside.

He's open.

Now, the thing about Phineas is he's really open.

You can just open him right up.

He's like I'm ready to receive.

You want to pour more honey in me?

Do it, I'm ready to receive it and because he's open and flexible, whenever I'm hungry and I want to get a little spoonful, I go to Phineas because he knows he's super liberal with it.

He's not stubborn, he's not resistant to giving away the gold that he's got.

And we've also got Stanley, the silly, stupid bear, stanley.

The thing with Stanley is it's like his top is stuck on.

You can't get it off because he's stubborn.

He's like look, I already know, and he does have a little bit of golden honey down there, but he's like I've already got some honey, no thanks, I don't need any from anybody else.

They're probably not the expert that I am, and so because of that, he doesn't take any more honey in, which means God's really not going to use him to share much honey with anybody else, because he's prideful and he can't receive much from anybody else.

And in his crazy mind he actually thinks he's got more honey than he does.

If he would just maybe open up to Phineas, phineas could pour a whole bunch of honey into his life, make his life way more better, way more fruitful, way more helpful to God and the people he's supposed to feed.

Are we hearing what I'm saying here, guys?

Are you a stubborn, silly, stupid Stanley, or are you a full and flowing Phineas honey bear?

We got to choose every day.

I'm going to be full and flowing.

I'm going to be open and flexible.

People can come along and then say, hey, let me just pour some stuff in and I'm open to it.

Hey, I'm going to make this easy on you rather than like stubborn Stanley.

We're not getting much feedback, my friends, unless we invite it, and sometimes that means literally asking.

But it also means having a disposition of if you give me feedback, I'm gonna say thank you.

Thanks, man.

I just so wanna hear that, even if I'm acting weird about it ever.

Just tell me anyway, because I want to hear it.

My flesh might lose its mind for a half a second, but just know that's not what I want to happen.

Please share your golden honey with me.

So true affirmation requires men to humbly listen to counsel.

And here's number two to affectionately offer counsel.

To affectionately offer counsel Think about how Jethro gives counsel here.

He waits until the day is over.

He waits until Moses is kind of worn out.

He waits until Moses is like oh man, that was hard.

But he also does it in a way that makes Moses feel important.

He's got the timing right.

My friends, if you're going to share feedback with folks, we want to get the timing right and sometimes they've got to run out of ideas before they're going to value your idea.

Sometimes they got to like just about go down.

They got to be in over their head and they're about to go down, because if you tell them too early, they're like, ah, shut it, I'm going to try my own stuff.

If you wait until they're beat up and tired, I'm like, oh my gosh, that was a million and a half people.

They might be more open to your advice if you wait for the right time and how do we know the right time?

Well, we can wait until they seem a little bit more discouraged and like I'm looking for advice, and it can also be the Holy Spirit.

You just wait on him.

Say Lord, I feel like I want to tell this person something, but I know me and I might just go.

Help me not just go.

Help me know when it's you so I can say the right things.

Help me wait until they're worn out.

Help me not go offering advice at the wrong time.

So, like most men over 40, know when you want to know anything about manhood, you have to look to the Rocky movies.

In Rocky 2, come on somebody.

Yeah, in Rocky 2, manhood Rocky has been fighting with his right arm.

Okay, he's actually a lefty, he's a southpaw, but he's got a block with his left arm now because he got hurt in the first movie and he's got to, like, protect his eye.

And so the entire fight with Apollo Creed at the end he's using his right, he's using his right and then in the very last round he switches back to his stronger arm and he starts to pump and the punches just land harder on Apollo.

Rocky had the right timing.

He waited for the right moment to unleash the southpaw.

And my friends, some of us, we got to get some Rocky in us and wait for the right time to release the southpaw.

Don't just do it whenever.

Wait until it's right, wait until it's strategic.

Because why?

Because we don't want them just to know that we know we want them to receive it.

If you affectionately care about them and affection, don't think men, don't think that that's like gooey, that's not what we mean.

We mean as though they're important to you.

And that can be expressed a lot of different ways.

It can be expressed in our tone.

It can be expressed in our tone.

It can be expressed in our like attaboy, there's a lot of ways that men figure out how to do this.

The point is, you want them to feel like this guy genuinely does care about me, and Jethro has put in the time.

Jethro spent decades with this guy.

Jethro was up probably the night before talking to Moses about all the stuff.

He watched him all day long, meaning he had time to ask questions.

He had time to be like is this really happening?

What I think is happening.

He was around, he was there, he had proximity, he had time to build involvement One of the things that's awesome about Jethro and what's awesome about all great mentors he doesn't have an agenda for Moses.

We got to watch out.

If you've got influence with somebody, we got to be real careful to not have an agenda for them.

I remember one of my first mentors.

He really it felt like it felt a little slimy sometimes.

It was like he had an agenda for me.

It was like he took a look at my gifts and he said, well, I don't really have those gifts, so I'm going to try to ride Carter's gifts.

And while I think he did care about me to a degree.

It was also.

It was like it was mixed.

It was like this he's got a dream for me that I'm supposed to fulfill.

That's not how mentors and protegees are supposed to work, guys.

See, if you're a mentor, you want the best for them, whatever that is, even if it takes them away from you.

You don't want to lord anything over anybody.

You don't want to rule anybody.

You just want to have a posture of I'm here to help you do whatever.

Whatever God's calling you to do, I want to help you do it.

And one of the ways we can really help a lot of folks is to share our failures more than our successes, sometimes, unless they need to hear about the success.

Most people are more attracted to failure, though, and often failure helps people more.

First, they learn it's okay to make mistakes.

They learn that you can get back up after mistakes, but often I don't know if you've noticed this often success doesn't really teach us necessarily much.

See, you might've succeeded on accident.

You don't necessarily know the recipe.

You might've happened to succeed.

You just were around the right people, the right things happened, you were in the right system and it just kind of worked.

When you fail a couple of times, you have time to evaluate, you have time to be like now, why didn't that work?

And you can put two and two together and you can see it's really.

The recipe you were following doesn't lead to the success that you wanted.

It's not that you're a failure, it's not that you can't do anything right.

You were, and now you've had time to think about it and now you can share the right recipe with those who come behind you.

See, I really believe that's true of some of us in here right now, some watching online.

You know you had some bouts and you went down, you took some hits and you might feel bad about that, but can you believe that there's a God who would use what happened to you to help somebody else, to help them avoid that trial entirely?

He'll make sure they get their own trials, but why not use yours to help somebody?

If you'd have some proximity, if you'd wait on the right time, if you would be affectionately counseling them, we might find that as you build involvement, god redeems a lot of things that you thought kind of man.

That's just a negative story.

It was bad, but it can still be used for good.

You have to have time to observe, you have time to hear the whole story, you have time and this is important you have time to ask questions.

Dudes, if you don't ask questions, you look like a nimrod dude.

You look like you don't know what you're doing.

Okay, and you guys have all experienced this Someone gives their opinion.

You're like bro, you don't even know what you're talking about, like you don't even have the context.

I remember when I was real sick years ago, I was seeing doctor after doctor and I went to one doctor and I told him like one symptom, and he immediately charges into well, here's what you need to do.

He was way off, like he was totally wrong.

And you know what I did.

I never went to that guy again because he doesn't listen.

I don't want people to think that about me, though they say my car, I'll tell you, man, the guy thinks he's all that, but he doesn't listen, he doesn't know.

He probably could give me good advice if he knew, but he's so into his own advice that he doesn't have time to hear what I've got to say.

So we've got to ask a lot of questions and, like Jethro, we've got to reinforce reality.

I love this about a good mentor.

A good mentor will reinforce reality, meaning they'll tell you it's going to be hard.

They don't want you to think, hey, this is just going to be super easy, pie in the sky stuff.

I've had multiple mentors down through the years who had said, okay, just so you know, this is going to suck for a minute or a couple of years, like you're gonna have to just take this in the gut, but then it's gonna be good.

Jethro was for real with Moses.

What did he say?

He said, moses, if you do this and God leads you to do this, you'll be able to withstand the pressure.

He didn't say you're gonna get out of the pressure.

He didn't say, man, it'll be easy.

He said there'll still be pressure, you'll just be able to do it.

You'll be able to make it long-term.

That's what good mentors do, they say.

Let me just paint a picture.

I understand the questions now.

I've been with you.

We've built involvement, we built relationship.

I understand all that now.

Now let me just can I just tell you here's some things that are true, that if you don't recognize are true, you're just going to run smack into them.

That's what good mentors do.

They tell you the truth.

Good mentors count on the fact that you've got a sinful nature and they remind us about it.

Sometimes Good mentors will say, man, that sounds like a plan where everything has to go right and you're forgetting your sinful nature.

You're forgetting what you tend to do and how wrong that can get you.

So Jethro tells Moses hey, man, here's the reality, here's what you need to do.

You need to select some people that are capable, honest men and appoint them as leaders.

He says, moses, I know the lesson you need right now.

Here's what it is it's delegation.

You need to learn how to delegate.

You need to learn how to make the instructions and then pass them off, and then let go.

This might be a lesson for some right now from Jethro let go and let them do that thing, and then you follow up later and you give them feedback, but you let them do it.

Moses, that's the reality that you have.

You're not going to be able to do it alone, so you've got to give it to them.

But here's what else, moses.

You got to choose them based on character, not skill.

I should say not just skill.

You've got to use people that fear the Lord.

You got to use people that when it's hard and they're tempted to maybe leverage this for themselves, they won't.

Just because I know God's watching, so I'm just not going to use this for myself.

That's what mentors are really doing for a protege.

They're not just giving them advice.

See, if you've got influence over somebody, let me just charge you right now.

Here's what God really wants you to do.

He wants you to love them.

He wants you to invest in them.

He wants you to help them achieve their goals.

But he also wants you to gently and lovingly help them grow in obedience and help them believe God.

That's what he wants you to do.

That's your job.

Help them grow in obedience Meaning your job.

Help them grow in obedience Meaning if they come to you and say, well, I'm thinking about going this way, you say you could do that, but it's going to hurt in the long run.

God is not going to bless that sin.

You're going to regret this big.

So I'm not Jesus.

I can't make you do anything, but what I'm challenging you is I don't want you to think I'm great by giving you great advice.

I want to tell you that's a dead end, brah.

I would think Maybe go get some more confirmations please.

So they point out talent, but they challenge character.

Here's one more thing they do they're direct and they don't back protégés into a corner.

Somebody say don't put baby in a corner.

Yeah, they're direct.

Jethro was direct and he didn't back Moses into a corner.

Sometimes some of us, we kind of we circle the thing forever and ever and ever, but we never say it.

Jethro says right away Moses, this is not good, dude, what is this thing you're doing with all these guys?

You need to do it different.

He just he cuts to it.

He's earned it, he's got, he's got the relationship for it.

He says Moses, I'm just going to be direct, here's the thing that needs to change.

But he doesn't back him in a corner.

Listen to what he said.

If you follow this advice and if God commands you to do so, he says Moses, I recognize that you're led by God.

I recognize that God, like, did all this through you.

I'm telling you this would be good as long as you and God agree, if God's down with it.

If God's down with it, not just if you're down with it or if I'm down with it.

If God's down with it, moses, this will be good Meaning.

He's saying Moses, I'm not backing you into a corner.

Don't just do this because I'm forcing you to do it.

I'm not forcing you to do it.

I'm not misusing my influence and pressuring you in a certain direction.

I'm showing you the path and I'm saying this this is not a choice for me to make.

You've got to make that choice with God, and you can even tell me you think I'm a dip and not do it, but I'm giving that choice as a gift, as a mentor, to you.

What's God doing here?

What's God doing with Moses?

And he's really doing it with Jethro too.

He's coming as wisdom to them.

He's coming as the sage Jesus.

Jesus is wisdom from God for us.

Is it possible?

Jesus' wisdom has been coming to you and sometimes you, like me, have rejected it.

You're like I can't hear this.

We're really being unteachable and we say wisdom from God, go away, because this looks like wisdom to me over here.

If that's true, I want to tell you welcome to the club.

I've done that a lot.

He comes again to get us.

Here's something Jesus said all that my father gives me will come to me, and the one who comes to me I will certainly not cast out.

See, even though we resist wisdom.

Wisdom keeps coming.

It says well, let's try again.

Well, let's try again.

Why?

Because Jesus doesn't give up ever.

Love never gives up.

He'll just keep chasing you, he'll just keep coming.

He'll be like oh, you didn't do that, let's try it this way.

Let me tell you through somebody else.

Let me tell you through somebody else.

Let me tell you through a wipeout Boom.

Let me tell you through somebody else your God loves you so much he will come chasing you with wisdom.

So what should we do?

I think we should do some business with God right now.

I think for some of us, we should ask for forgiveness.

Say God, would you forgive me Because I've resisted your wisdom?

Some of us, maybe we want to ask for forgiveness because we weren't really who we were supposed to be for somebody Like and we know that from God not just because we feel bad about ourselves.

No, we know like.

I know God didn't want me to do that and I let them down.

And maybe for some of us today, the application for you is I know it's hard, it's to forgive whoever.

It was, that father figure that let you down and wasn't there and it wasn't right.

We're not saying it was right, but it's a good time to say I'm going to go ahead and forgive them, because there's a chance I've done something like this to somebody else and I want them to forgive me.

Should we do it, let's do it.

Jesus, I don't know who you're asking certain ones of us to invest in.

I don't know who you're asking us to maybe pursue, to be a little bit closer to.

I don't know who you're asking us to take out to coffee or have over for dinner or go to their game or show up with a coffee, whatever it is.

God, I don't know who that is, but you know who it is.

I pray that you would just make it increasingly clear this week that there's certain ones you want to be wisdom through us toward them, and you want other ones to be wisdom toward us from you, and you want other ones to be wisdom toward us from you.

Would you forgive us for resisting the voice of wisdom sometimes and train us to hear you more clearly and respond more resolutely and meekly?

God, would you forgive us for the times we weren't affectionate, we weren't careful with the ones you gave us influence over, and God for you, forgive us for the times we weren't affectionate, we weren't careful with the ones you gave us influence over, and, god, for some of us, would you help us to forgive the one, that man?

They really should have been there.

They really should have spoken to me a different way.

They should have done it different, that's true, and yet, god, by the grace of God, help me forgive them and let it go.

They don't have to pay me back In Jesus' name, amen.

Hey, thank you so much for joining us today.

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