Glorifying God in your Marriage - Ephesians 5:22-33

A few years ago, I heard a story of a couple that had been married over 50 years when the wife passed away, and the husband finally got to the point where he felt he could go into her closet, start cleaning out things in her closet, donating those things. And as he's doing that, he saw on the very top shelf a box, he'd never noticed before in her closet, he got that box down and didn't know what would be in it. He opened it up, there were, the top of that box had 2 scarves that had been crocheted, and under those scarves was a bunch of money. He counted up $75,000 in cash, hidden under these scarves in this box at the top of the closet. Really confused what that could be. His wife's sister had been there with him, helping him clean through her things. And so he said, I've never seen these before. Do you know what these scarves are from? She goes, oh yes, I know exactly what that is. She said, when we were little girls, our mom told us that there's going to be times in your marriage where you're going to struggle, you're going to get annoyed by your husband, you're going to get aggravated by what he's doing, and you're going to want to fight and bicker and argue. And she said, instead of doing that, just walk away and crochet a scarf, just surely ever do this, Ken, when she gets annoyed with you, you might relate, okay. And so she said, that must be the scarves that she crocheted whenever you guys would have tension or arguments in her marriage. And he said, wow, he kind of teared up and he said, 50 years of marriage and only 2 scarves. And he said, you know what the money's from? She goes, yeah, that's the money she made selling scarves. He relates to that? I don't know what kind of advice you've been given in marriage. We all get advice, advice comes from many different places. Today, we've reached a place in our study of the book of Ephesians, where we're going to get some guidance from the Word of God on our marriages and on our families. We've been journeying through this book for several weeks. Most recently we have been seen, over the last few sermants, how our relationship with Jesus transforms everything about our lives. It changes the attitude of our heart. It changes the way we think. It changes our speech, it changes our conduct, and it changes our relationships with other people. In fact, last week, we left off chapter 5, verse 21, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. My relationship with Christ, changes my attitude toward the people. I want to have a humble and servant heart toward others because of how Jesus has changed my heart. Now, today, we're going to get into a section of scripture to take this next three weeks to walk through this next section. We're going to see how our relationship in our families and our households and our workplaces change because of our relationship with Jesus Christ. We're going to see how this applies to what a lot of in the early 1st century writers, these passages like this would be called household codes, household codes. And they weren't unique just to the Bible. These that existed for centuries. We can find them all the way back as early as the 4th century BC, where the Greeks would address relationships within the household. How do we relate to one another? And the household, in that day, would have been husbands and wives, parents and children, and masters and their servants, within that household? How do we treat one another within that household? Now, the New Testament comes along. Jesus comes along, and those relationships are transformed by Jesus and what he taught us, and as we become followers of Jesus. What's transformed particularly as expectations are now put on husbands, parents, and masters. Previously, these household codes would generally say, wives and kids and servants, this is your responsibility in the household. Now he says, listen, husbands, and parents, and masters, you have responsibilities now as followers of Jesus to lead well in your household. And he also is going to say to wives and children and servants later. We'll talk about the culture then when Rustling gets to that one and how that applies today. We're no longer just kind of, they're no longer just passive objects in this social structure, but now they're partners in glorifying God in whatever role they find themselves. And so what we see is that we'll all have different roles in life. We're all created. In God's image, we have equal worth, equal value, and all of us are called, whatever situation we find ourselves, to glorify Jesus and honor him. So we're going to look at what that looks like today, starting with husbands and wives. Now, I want to encourage everyone to lock in and focus here. We're going to be in Ephesians chapter 5, verse 22, starting in verse 22. If you have your Bible, just start making your way to Ephesians near the back of the New Testament. If you don't have a Bible, it's okay. Just grab the one under the chair in front of you, if you'll turn to page 978, that's where you're going to find this passage down here, that lower right hand corner, we're going to start here now. I want you to follow on, because there's something for everyone. You might hear this, it's about marriage, I'm not married, or you may say, My marriage is good. I don't know if I need this. Some for everyone. All of us need to learn. What does God's word have to say about marriage? All kinds of places of advice. We want to look at the creator of marriage. What does he say about the pattern of marriage and our roles within marriage? If you're a married couple? I hope that you'll be encouraged by this. I know, at any given time, their marriages are struggling, maybe in big ways or small ways. I know just the ones I know about are probably the tip of the iceberg, for marriages that struggle, and maybe, for marriage is doing great today, there'll be a time in the future, where you're going to need something like this, even in healthy marriages. And why don't you see today, this isn't just about, how does Jesus fix our marriage, it's how does my marriage help me follow Jesus better and glorify Jesus? It's not just how does following Jesus make my marriage stronger, it's how does my marriage, the sanctifying aspect of marriage, make me a more committed follower Jesus? How can I bring glory to Jesus in my marriage? If you're single. Got some things for you today, particularly to stay focused till the end. I'm going to end the very end of this message. We have some application for singles. I think I've been praying this week, not only for the married couples in our church, but for the children, the teenagers, the young adults, the singles in our church, that God would shape in their mind what a God honoring, God glorified marriage looks like as they look toward that in their future. So let's jump in here, see what God's word says about marriages that glorify Jesus. Ephesians chapter 5, verse 22. Wives. Submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Let's stop right there. Let's talk about what the Bible says about the role of wives in a God honoring marriage, and then we'll shift our to the husbands, and then I'll have a word for singles at the end here. Here's the first thing I want you to see. But a wife glorifies Christ by following the God ordained leadership of her husband. We bring glory to Christ, wives you bring glory to Christ, when you follow God's pattern, God's design for your marriage with your husband as the God ordained leader of your family. Now, let's talk about that. This verse, oftentimes we go to 2 extremes. There are some who abuse this verse. And they will take this verse out of the context of how God intended it, not understanding how God intends this. They will abuse us verse, and because it is so often abused. The other extreme we tend to go to is to ignore this verse. And I think this is a verse that's often abused and often ignored. We want to focus on it and see the full understanding of what God has for us here. We don't get to skip over things at Northam, our approach is to teach through books of the Bible. We will probably not get to all of them before Ruston and I go to be with Jesus, but when we start one, we're going to finish it. We're going to go all the way through. We're not going to skip anything, it's on a trip, we had a pastor's retreat a couple weeks ago, we carpooled with Rustin and Leslie, and Carrie was DJing the '80s playlist in the ride. And one of the songs came on, and Leslie said, I never really liked this band. And Carrie said, I really didn't either. And they just let the song play on. And next song came on, and Carrie said, I didn't never really care for this song. Lexi said, yeah, I really never cared for this one either. I said, you know you can skip these. Like, that's the beauty of today. You don't have to fast forward to the next song on the cassette tape. You just hit that little button. Even on the steering wheel. Boom, word to the next song. That's the beauty of Spotify. You don't like a song? You just go to one you like. You do not have that option with the Bible. We don't get to just skip the parts we don't like. We kind of want to. We want to go, ooh, that verse makes me uncomfortable. Let me just skip to the next one. We're gonna cover all of them. There's not a few who get this. There's not a Scots Tots episode in the Bible, right? That you get... Okay, I hear those laughs. You don't get to go. I don't like that episode. I'm going just go on to the next one. We're going to cover every episode, every song on the playlist, every verse of God's word, even the ones that we are inclined to skip over. So what does this mean? I think one of the reasons that we disregard this verse or ignore this verse or in some of the reasons we abuse this verse is we fail to understand this concept in the New Testament. When we hear the word submit, our minds go to all kinds of places. For me, one of the places my mind goes to is an MMA match. We think of the, how do I go back? Oh, there we go. All right, if it is MMA match, right? We think cement means I'm going to put you in some position until you tap out, okay? And so, why thinks, submit means that my husband is going to exert his strength over me in some way, make me uncomfortable, force me into some position that I don't want to be in, or husband thinks, I just got to kind of put her in an uncomfortable situation until she finally relents against her will and taps out. That's not a biblical understanding of this word, submit. So let's unpack this a little bit. What does it mean for a wife to follow her husband's god ordained leadership and her family? Let's start with what it doesn't mean. First of all, it has nothing to do with worth or value. Go back to the very beginning of the Bible. Genesis chapter one. The word of God says, God created them, male and female, in his image. So, God, I'm going to create humans. In my image, both men and women are going to be created in the image of God. So from the very beginning, we have equal worth and equal value being created in the image of God. And then following the crucifixion of Jesus, and the opportunity for all of us to have a relationship with God to our faith in Jesus, Paul wrote to the Galatians these words, Now there is neither Jew nor Greek. There's neither slave nor free, there's neither male nor female, for we are all one in Christ Jesus. And so we are all made in the image of God. We are all redeemed by Jesus Christ, death on the cross. So this has nothing to do with worth or value. It has nothing to do with ability or capacity. It doesn't mean that men are superior or smarter or more spiritual than women. We've all probably had situations where we've been in some role where the person who was leading us had maybe less capacity than we had. Maybe you've had a job, or you thought, I got to follow this person's direction in the workplace, but, man, I could do this job a lot better. Maybe you played on a team, or you were being coached. And you said, I could really run this thing a lot better. It's not about value. It's not about capacity. It's about the roles that God has given within the home. It doesn't mean that we're not to share in decision making. We don't check our, a wife does not check her brain or her will at the altar. A wife does not sit idly by, as terrible decisions are being made many times in our marriage. It's my wife's insight that leads us to the right decisions as we're praying through and talking through where God is leading us. I heard a guy say one time, the voice of my wife and the voice of the Holy Spirit sound a lot alike. As you say, like, sometimes my wife's voice is, God's using that voice in my life. I needed that voice in my life to direct me in the right way. It doesn't mean also that women are to submit to men. Notice what the verse says. The verse says, wives submit to your own husband. Does this say women submit to men, but in the home, a wife and a husband belong to one another, and a wife owes this leader, the respect of her husband's leadership to her own husband, not to all men in general. It's not something, also, it's not something the husband has told it to demand of his wife. It's an exhortation given to the wife. It's a voluntary act on the wife's part. It doesn't say, husbands, make sure your wives submit to you. It says, wives submit to your own husband. Submission is not the husband's to command, but it's the wife's to willingly and lovingly offer to her husband as the lead of their family. So what does it mean? What it does mean is that the word simply, in this context, means to voluntarily place yourself under the leadership of another. That God has designed the family with the particular structure and particular roles, giving the husband the responsibility to lead his family. It's a call for the wife to respect and support her husband's God ordained leadership within their family, and notice it says at the end of verse 22, you do this as to the Lord. This is an act of service, to the Lord, it's an act of worship before the Lord. Your husband will not always be worthy, but Jesus always will be worthy. And so our commitment to a wife's commitment to follow her husband's leadership is a spiritual commitment before the Lord, her voluntary submission in her family derives itself from her submission to the Lord as her Lord and Savior. Now look what he continues, verse 23. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husband. A husband provides leadership for his wife, the way for his family, the way Christ does for the church. Jesus, as Jesus, is responsible, to provide and and lead, so is the husband within the God ordained role. God has placed him in the family. And I would say more about this a minute. through the husband's responsibility. And then I want to share why I think this looks like daily. What does it look every day for husbands and wives to do these things. So hang on, we'll get to that point in a minute, talk a little bit more application. But in short, it's an appeal, at this point, which you see, this is an appeal to one who is equal. By creation, by redemption, to lovingly, willingly submit to the leadership that God has ordained, as an act of worship before the Lord. Now, as we transition, I want to say, I've been in ministry now for about 35 years, I preached a bunch of sermons, preached texts like this one before, and I want to say that in my early years of ministry, I was very afraid about passages of like this, because I feared how women will feel if I say that they should follow the leadership of their husband. What women push back? Will they get upset? I would often, like, oh, man, I'm gonna approach this one. Now, I'm gonna tell you, all these years later, and I'm sure some might disagree with this. And this isn't a blanket state for everyone, but I would say, I think after 30 plus years of counseling couples over all these years, then I think oftentimes women desire this way more than they want to push back on it. They really wish that their husbands would step up more as leaders in their family. They're desiring more that he would see the weight that God has placed on him as the leader of their family and step into that. So with that in mind, I want to move to what that looks like for the husband to step up into that role and be a leader in his family. Look what the scripture says next, that a husband glorifies Christ, by following the sacrificial example of Jesus. So wife brings glory to God, when she says, I'm willing to trust God's plan for my marriage, God's design for my marriage. A husband glorifies Christ, he says, I want to step up as a leader of my family, following the pattern that God has given me. What is that? Look at verse 25. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Now, verse 22, if you look at this, verse 22 is somewhat shocking to the 21st century reader. When we read today, wives submit to your husbands. We're sort of push back on that. In the 1st century, they would have been as equally shocked by verse 25, because verse 25 says, husbands, you have a responsibility. That was not common in the 1st century world. You would give the wives and the children responsibility, but the husbands and the fathers were not given this kind of direction. And so, what we have here is Paul, the author here, really, in a way, undermining the absolute authority of the male of the household that would have been common in that day. What he's submitting is that marriage is not a one sided submission, but a reciprocal relationship, that husbands and wives both have responsibility. What he's telling husbands here is they are to exercise, rather not how, he doesn't, he's not instructing them how to exercise their authority, but he's instructed them rather how to serve their wives sacrificially. The emphasis in this passage before us is not on the husband's authority to govern, but on the husband's responsibility to love. Your responsibility, man. He says, to love your wife. It's a verb. It's active. It's known by the action that it takes, and you do that the same way that Christ loved the church. Christ laid down his life, the church, that becomes our role model. Who are your role models? Who do you look for, for guidance and marriage? Scripture says, look at Jesus. And look at the cross. And this is true of a relationship in life. We want to know how to treat people. We look at the example of Jesus sacrificed on the cross. The Bible says that God loved us, even though we were sinners. He loved us with all of our flaws, and he loved us to the point where he went to the cross to die for us, so that we could be forgiven. And that's the message that saves us, and it's also the model that motivates us in how we treat people. Paul wrote to the church at Philippi, these words, Philippians 2, verse 3, Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourself. So, I don't want to be conceited. I don't want to be selfish. I want to treat others better than I treat my own self. He says, how do you do that? He continues down there, says you look to Jesus. Verse 5, have the mind among yourself, which was in Jesus. What did Jesus do? Verse 6. He was in the form of God. But he did not account equality with God a thing to be grasped, but he emptied himself, took on the form of a servant, and being born in the likeness of man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient at the point of death on cross. He left his rightful place in heaven, humbled himself to become a man, died a sacrificial death on a cross. That becomes our example for how we treat everybody. It's certainly the example of how a husband should treat his wife. We love them with the same selfless and sacrificial love that Christ has for his church. Despite her shortcomings, despite, um, our failures, uh, uh, wife's, uh, one time as her husband took off his glasses and she said, uh, without your glasses, you look like the same handsome young man I married. And he said, you know, without my glasses, you look pretty good too. It's no matter what happens, we keep loving unconditionally. It's an example of Jesus. Notice what else he says, verse 26, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present to the church, might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle, or any such thing, that she might be holy, and without blemish. He desires for Jesus desires for his church that they be holy. A husband should desire for his wife that she grows in Christ-likeness. He wants to lead well so that his family, looks to Jesus, and grows in Jesus, and follows Jesus. Step into this responsibility. take hold of this incredible weighty role that God has given you, husbands. I read these stats, different places, different times. And so I just looked it up yesterday. These numbers, I don't know where they get these, but it's interesting to consider that if a child begins to follow Jesus. It comes from a family that doesn't follow Jesus. If a child starts to follow Jesus. There's a 3% chance that the influence of that child will lead to his mom and dad or her mom and dad following Jesus, 3% chance. If a wife begins to follow Jesus, there's a 17% chance that the rest of the family will follow Jesus. If dad begins to follow Jesus, there's a 93% chance that his wife and children will also pursue faith in Jesus. Is that incredible? That's the role that God's put on a man to lead their families, to desire for their families, what Christ desires for the church. Verse 28. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife, loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they and the 2 shall become one flesh. He's quoting there from Genesis chapter one, or the early pattern for marriage, that a husband wife become one flesh when they get married. He said, now you're one. And so husband, she's an extension of you. And so he says, you treat her the way you treat yourself. You want for her what you want for yourself. You sacrifice for her just like you'd make sacrifices for yourself. You're one flesh. Now, you're an extension of one another. The idea of neglecting the needs and desires of our wife should be as strange as neglecting our own needs and desires. We led different marriage studies over the years, and we've led with Randy and Kelly Maltby on Sunday nights, a group. We've gathered together many different times, and we've gone through different books, but one of the books we're going through was a book called The Marriage Knot, and the writer said, they have this little statement in their family that is we before me, we before me and Kelly made everyone these little plaques. This is, I took this off the shelf in our bathroom this morning to bring with me. This hangs as a reminder that we're like one flesh. Like, we're one team. Like, whatever I do for care, I do for myself, what a desire for myself is a desire for her. We put the we before me. That's what he's saying here. Men stop putting your own needs ahead of your wife, put her needs ahead of your own. You desire because you're one flesh. So a healthy Christ glorified marriage is one where both husband and wife. Focus on honoring God and their God given responsibilities in their family. Verse 33, he concludes, however, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband. So here's how I'd sum this up. Let me give you a couple questions to help, um, apply this. Wives lovingly, willingly support your husband's leadership. God ordained leadership. Husbands, lovingly, willingly, make every sacrifice needed for your wife's greater good. You're on the same team, your one flesh. What sacrifices do we now make for one another? Notice there's no exception here. He doesn't say, I have this conversation a lot. A wife will say, yeah, it would be easy to follow my husband's leadership if he really loved me the way Christ loved the church. And the husband says, it'd be easier to love her, like Christ loved the church, if she would have respect. You don't wait for the other person to make the same move. We have to make the 1st move. We have a responsibility placed on each of us. And oftentimes we're waiting for the other person to do their part 1st so that we could follow, and I want to submit to you, the opposite should be the case. Let me make the first move. and see how the other person will respond as I care at my responsibility. So here's what I would say today about this passage. I think the biggest problem with this passage, or one of the big problems of this passage, is not that we fail to understand it, or we have our time accepting it. It's just, we don't know how to kind of, we don't think to daily apply it. We think of this as like monumental moves, right? So a wife thinks, okay, there could be a time in the future where we have a decision before us, and we're going to pray about it, we're going to talk about it, but my husband's going to make the call on whether we, he takes that job, or we make that move, or whatever we do. And in that moment, I'll follow his leadership. And husbands think, yeah, if I ever came down to it, I would sacrifice my life for her. would jump in front of a bullet. I would push her out of the way of a train. I would, I would, I would give her a kidney. Like whatever. within these major monumental moments in life. I want to submit to you today that we actually should live this out every single day in small ways and not think about the really big grandiose moments. So what does that look like? Here's what it looks like. A wife asks this question every day. How can I support my husband's God ordained leadership of our family? God has placed him as the leader of our family. How can I encourage him in this responsibility God's given him? I have this really bad habit in coffee shops of eavesdropping on other people's conversations. Anyone else struggle with that? I just can't help it. And it's terrible because, one, I can't focus on my work, and two, I shouldn't be listening in on their conversation, but I just can't help myself. So I'd put my headphones in. One time I was at a coffee shop and these 2 girls were over here and one said, yeah, I just visited this church called Northland Church. And the other girl said, what do you think of it? I was like, oh I don't want to hear this. So I like put my headphones in. I was like, if they see something bad, I can't handle it. And it's going to be really embarrassing when they realize I'm the pastor. So I was at the cop shop the other day. And I hear these 4 ladies behind me. talking about their marriages. And a couple of the ladies are kind of complaining about their husband about their marriage. And so I do like the fake, like, stretch, because I want to see, like, mature, it's not my wife, you know, for one, and just see who are these people. And I notice when I kind of do this, it's it's 3 young ladies and an older lady. And so I go back, I'm trying to focus, and then I hear the olderlies say, you know what, I've learned? In my marriage, she said, I learned that I can speak life into my husband by the way I talk to him as the leader of our family. And she said, when I encourage him, and I tell him I'm behind him, and I tell him that I'm, whatever we need to do. I'm going to support him. And she said, that changes my husband. It speaks a life into him. I think that's what this is about. She was given great counsel to these young ladies that when you when you say, I'm here for you. It means so much to me. When I think about the responsibility, I mean, when my wife encourages me. When she tells me she believes in me. When she tells me what she respects about me, what she admires about me, when she looks for ways to lighten the burden that I might carry at times, the little things that she does for me. She one day, she stuck a note on the door of my office in our home, and it's 6 years later, that note's still taped to the door. There's that little note that encouraged me that inspired me that day. It's the little things, wives. What can I do today to tell my husband, I believe in him. I'm behind him. I trust him, and we are in this together. Husbands. What's one thing you can do to demonstrate your sacrificial love for your wife? I know I know you'll take the bullet. I know that, okay? She doesn't want you to take the bullet. You know what she wants? She says, I don't want you to lay down your life. you to lay down your phone. I want you to lay down the remote. I want you to lay down the video game. I want you to sacrifice for me. She says, I want you to take a bull. I want you to take out the trash. I want you to take me on a date. I want you to take the initiative to pray with our family. I just want the little sacrifice today. What's the little thing you can do? This is sort of a funny thing. Carrie and I used to argue, well, about a lot of things. When we first got married, that she wished I would do. One was changing out the toilet paper, when you use up the last piece. I would take the last thing off, and then she would, and she felt like it was that person's responsibility, and I would argue, either way. You're actually sitting statistically more times than I am, and so you could probably do this easier. So anyway, I started changing up the toilet. And it became this really fun thing where it was like, I would offer her the cardboard tube as like a symbol of my love and affection, that I would like, at night, I would change it, and I'd put it on her pillow, and she would pull the covers back, and there would be the toilet paper roll, or I would like, we would praise a family, and while everyone's eyes would close, I'd put it in the middle of the table, like a centerpiece. And so I was telling her, I was going to talk about the day. She goes, oh yeah, look at this. This isn't the one. I brought this. And she reached, she was getting ready. She reached on the kitchen cabinet and she pulled out a toilet paper roll that I'd written a little note on. I don't know when I did that, but she saved it. It's not that's silly. I'm just saying, we gotta make a bigger sacrifice than changing the toilet paper roll, guys. What I'm saying is, look for the little thing today that says to your wife, I'll sacrifice for you. I'll do this for you. What is it you can do to say, I would lay down my life for you? She says, I don't want you to take the bullet. I just need this from you today. What does that look like? Then husbands and wives, here's something we do together. Husbands and wives glorify Christ together by displaying the gospel through our marriage. Look at verse 32. We skip down and we come back to it. This mystery is profound. And I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church. This is the big thing about marriage. Not just about, yeah, if I will sacrifice for my wife, our marriage would be healthier and happier. And if my wife would show her encouragement and support of me, our marriage would be healthier and happier. But the whole point says really is bigger than that, it's about glorifying Jesus as you display the gospel through your marriage. Our marriages are a picture of Christ's love for the church. Our marriages put the gospel on display. Our marriage is a visible expression of the love between Jesus and those he came to save. Our marriages are signs that point to some reality beyond it. Is your marriage displaying the gospel, displaying the gospel. Even, you say, what if my husband is not a believer? What if my wife is not a believer? I wish we had more time to unpack this. I'll give you a scripture, you can go back and look at more. First Peter 3, one, and two. First Peter 31 and 2 says, likewise, wives be subject to your own husbands. So that even if some do not obey the word, they may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives. When they see your respectful and pure conduct. He's saying, even if your husband's not a believer, the way you live out your faith, we'll point him to Jesus, same way husbands, your faith can point your wife to Jesus. But together we should put the marriage on display. So let me give you some questions. Four final application questions. One for the wives, one for the husbands, one for couples and one for singles, all right? Wives, here's your application question today. What is one thing I can do this week to encourage and support my husband? One thing. You know, you have to figure that out. I think you might already know. What is one thing you can do this week that says to your husband, I am grateful that God gave you to me, that he brought us together, that he's put you as the leader of our family? I am so appreciative of how you lead our family. I believe in you, I trust you, and I'm in this with you. What can you do this week to communicate that? Here's one thing that will let him know how much one thing that would encourage and support him and his role as the God ordained leader, husband. One thing, you can do this week to show sacrificial love for your wife. One thing, one tangible act, that would communicate your love for her. How can you put her needs 1st this week, put her desires 1st this week, lay down your will, your desires, your opinion, and make a sacrifice to show her that you would lay down your life for her. And then couples. What needs to change for our marriage to be a better picture of the gospel? What sacrifice could we make for one another that would put the gospel on display? What step of radical grace could we make that would reflect the gospel in our marriage? People are watching you. Your marriage is a billboard of the gospel of Jesus Christ for people to see. And then singles. Here's a question. I'm gonna tell you, as I'm gonna make a bold statement, this question could change the entire course of your future, right here. Is this a person? I can partner with in our God-given mission to display the gospel. In your dating relationships. I don't know what you're looking for, but look for a person above everything else. A person who can be your partner in displaying the gospel to others. Look for a person who loves Jesus. I don't know what you're looking for. I think it's interesting when my daughter recently was married, she's married now in March, she got married. She was on a dating app. I know that's super common now, and we have a great relationship, and I would ask her, hey, how's it going? Show me some of the guys in this app. So she's scrolling through this app, showing these guys, and there's one in a cowboy hat on a horse, and there's one who was a firefighter. Another guy was a police officer. I said, are you trying to date the village people? Older crowd got that. By the way, she chose the cowboy. And I said, what are you looking for? I love to talk to people and they'll say we met on an app. And I always say, what was it that caught your attention? What was the picture? What was the statement? What was the thing? When you're scrolling through on this dating app, what was the thing that grabbed your attention? Let me put before you that the number one thing you ought to be looking for, and you're not always going to see it on the app, because don't fall for the guy that just checks the Christian box. You're looking for someone who loves Jesus. who loves you. Let me tell you right now, single people. I know some of you have been here while you've heard me say this before. You got to make this commitment that you're going to marry someone who loves Jesus. It's going to change the whole future, whole course. That was hard for me to hear as a teenager. When my youth pastor said, I should only date people who love Jesus because I was having a hard enough time getting a date with the general population. Now he's narrowed it down to those who have chose the narrow way. My odds went way down. But I trusted the Lord, and he brought Carrie into my life, and I'm so grateful that I have a partner who's partnered with me in displaying the gospel for 31 years and 11 months, 30 years and 11 months. The last person, again, there's probably 10 things when I'm dead, you'll remember. The one of them is this. You will always marry the last person you date. You always marry last project. What does that mean? You want to marry someone that will put Jesus 1st in your marriage. You need to only date people who are putting Jesus 1st in his life or her life. Date people who love Jesus with other heart. And you'll have a partner in making the gospel known to the world for the next 30, 40, 50, 60 years of your life, whatever the Lord would give you. The real beauty, though. Is the picture of the gospel. That God loved us so much that he died on the cross for us so that we could be saved. And so yes, this is a message about marriage and some application for husbands and wives and couples, and even some for singles, but there's a message in this for all of us, is that we have a savior who loves us and gave his life on the cross for us. If you've never put your faith in Jesus, today could be the day that you turn to the one who died for you, so that your sins could be forgiven, and you could be restored into a relationship with God. you pray with me? So be a moment that you could pray for what God may have put on your heart in this message? But it might be a moment for you to pray. A prayer of faith in Jesus, a prayer like this, God, I know that I have sinned. I know that I am far from you, but I believe that Jesus died for me. And I want to turn to him for my salvation. God, I'm turning from my sin to trust Jesus and follow him. Maybe wives, your prayer could be God, help me to honor you and my role as a wife and my family, to encourage and support my husband's God, ordained leadership. Husbands, a prayer to say, God, show me how I can sacrifice for my wife, where I'm being show me where I'm being selfish. How can I lay down my life for her couples? Consider asking the Lord, how what needs to change about our marriage so that it might more beautifully reflect the powerful message of Jesus to the world? Singles. Commit to the Lord that you want a marriage that honors Jesus, that glorifies Jesus. Ask the Lord to give you the patience to wait until he brings that right partner into your life. that will join with you in this mission. Father, I pray that you'll strengthen marriages. That you'll open the eyes of husbands that they can see where they've been selfish, that you'll open the hearts of wives to show them how they can support and join with their husband. Help husbands and wives to seek to honor you and glorify you to put the gospel on display in their marriage. Help the singles to wait patiently for you to bring that person in their life, that will partner with them in glorifying Jesus. Thank you for marriage, and thank you for the picture it is of the gospel. For the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross for our sins. We thank you for this in Jesus' name. Amen.

Ephesians 5:22 Ephesians 5:22 Philippians 2:3