The Most Ridiculous Idea Ever

All right.

Grove family, how are we doing this morning?

Yeah.

So good to be with you all.

If we've never met before, my name is Chad, and uh my wife Tara and I uh call the Grove home.

This is our home church, and we absolutely love this place.

We've been here about six or seven years, and uh I'm humbled to get to teach here from time to time on the weekends, uh, and it is just awesome to see you in this place, or if you're watching online this morning.

Uh, I hope you've had an awesome week.

Uh, my wife and I have had what I would call an interesting week uh because this past week was the week that we entered into our annual spring purging event.

Um, I don't know if you do this around your house, but it's where we attempt to declutter, organize, and get rid of a lot of stuff.

And every year we do this, I'm it never ceases to amaze me at all the stuff we have in our home, taking up space and living rent-free in our house.

Maybe you can relate.

And I'm I'm almost embarrassed at all the stuff that we uncover and and remove and probably overwhelm the dear staff at Goodwill with as we show up with bags and piles of these items, all these items that many of them they were things that we were all in on at one time.

Things that, if I'm honest, were some of the most ridiculous ideas ever.

Like this item we took to Goodwill this week.

Yeah, yeah.

Couple people walking out, I'm ashamed, right?

Like, anybody else fall for this thing, the Snuggie?

We did.

And if you look at it, it's it's essentially a backwards bathrobe, right?

Um, if it came with a pointed hat, you'd look like a wizard from like Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter.

Yet 30 million of these sold, 500 million in sales, and we contributed, right?

What a ridiculous idea.

Now, some of you laugh, and some of you who may be a little older than me in the room, you have no right to laugh because you're one of the people who in the mid-70s purchased one of these.

Yeah, praise, I see that hand.

Yes, Jesus, I see that hand.

Yes, the pet rock.

This was a real thing.

$3.95 came with a sweet little bed of hay.

And I'm not making this up.

It came with a manual titled The Care and Training of Your Pet Rock, with commands like sit, stay.

Ridiculous.

What a ridiculous idea.

And I want to be careful to say I'm not judging because our home, the Cadell Casa, seems to run and operate on ridiculous ideas.

For example, my wife, she thinks that dirty clothes should immediately go in the hamper.

What a ridiculous idea.

You know, it is.

I have a system when it comes to my underwear.

If there's three on the floor, there's four in the drawer.

Right?

It's a system and it works.

And I don't know if your spouse does this or not, but my spouse, Terrace, she'll never just come right out and say, Hey, could you pick those up?

It feels more like a game show.

She'll say, Hey, honey, or are those yours?

And I'm like, I sure hope they are.

We need to talk.

But our life, our culture is just surrounded by just ridiculous ideas.

People who cheer for the stealers.

Others who intentionally choose to eat Gold Star.

Welcome.

Cat lovers.

And human beings who actually watch The Bachelor on purpose.

So many ridiculous ideas.

Well, this morning, as we hang out together for just a bit, I want to share with you what I think is probably the most ridiculous idea ever.

And what's even more crazy, it's found in all places.

The Bible.

Here's what it is.

Love difficult people.

What?

You know any difficult people?

Stop elbowing the person next to you in the ribs.

That is not godly.

I bet the farm that when I mention the phrase difficult people, there are names that immediately come racing to the front of your mind.

You've met them, you do life with them, you've seen them in action.

Those people.

They're critical, they can be uh often quite offensive and controlling, they're often incredibly arrogant at times, sometimes just downright mean and nasty.

And you know I'm talking about those people who know everything about everything, and they're gonna tell everybody every chance they get, those people.

You might see them just shouting up a storm on social media, launching their heat-seeking missiles from behind their keyboard in the comments thread.

They have this love and passion for hateful and out-of-bounds arguments and disagreements that lack even an ounce of maturity, integrity, or civility.

Those people.

There's almost one at every big family gathering.

And if you say, I don't think we have one at ours, maybe it's you.

They're everywhere.

They're at the soccer field, they're where you work, they're at your kids' school events, they're on your social media, and they're even in the church.

And the Bible says, I know, I know.

Love them.

Love them.

It's gotta be the most ridiculous idea ever.

Love difficult people.

Now, transparent disclaimer out of the gate this morning.

I'm not speaking on this today because I've mastered this like some spiritual giant.

I don't speak from any place of expertise or superiority.

I share with you this morning as a very broken, very sinful, very flawed, very messy, work in progress kind of guy who lives in the very same world that you do.

And I'll tell you with all honesty, I really, really, really, really struggle with this.

And from what I see and hear, so do you.

Man, I struggle with this.

And I think part of the struggle for me is that I can't just tear out certain pages of my Bible that I don't really like or care for.

Parts that are inconvenient or they seem absurd.

Something I'd honestly rather not wrestle with or try to live out.

Yet as a Christ follower, I we we we can't ignore a passage like Ephesians 5, verses 1 and 2.

Ephesians 5:1

Look what it says.

It says, follow God's example.

Therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

It says, just as Christ loved us.

Let me ask this question: Who are the us that Christ loved?

Well, John 3.16 says, For God so loved what the world.

Ouch.

That means every person.

Even the undeserving, including the unlovable, even those people.

Now we say, I can't stand them.

Jesus says, I died for them.

Love difficult people.

Now you might say, well, Chad, that that seems like an impossible suggestion.

And I'd say, well, you're right, because it's not a suggestion, it's actually a command.

1 John 4, 21, it says, and he has given us this command.

Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.

Friends, look at me.

Don't miss this.

Proof of how much we love God is actually found in how well we love people, especially the ones that are really tough to love.

Now I can sense and almost feel some of your backsides getting really tense, like I'm like, exhale for a moment.

Breathe with me.

Let me be very clear before you fire off the emails to me what this is not saying this morning.

It's not saying to be a doormat.

This is not saying to not have healthy boundaries.

This is not saying to not stand firm in your faith and biblical convictions.

This is not saying to not be a voice of truth in the midst of worldly perspectives and ungodly opposition.

But what it is saying, and what Jesus is saying, is this in John 13.

Jesus says, By this everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.

Jesus spoke these words to his disciples to indicate that sincere love for other people is the primary mark of his followers.

Notice what he didn't say.

He didn't say, and my followers will be known by their arguments.

My followers will be known by their knowledge.

He didn't say, and my followers will be known by their avoidance of certain kinds and groups of people.

He didn't say and my followers will be known by their political affiliations.

He didn't say my followers will be known by their opinions.

No.

He said, My followers will be known by their love.

Choosing to move and speak and act with this Christ-like compassion and patience, with restraint and forgiveness, extending a little bit of grace instead of just unleashing vengeance and these emotionally charged reactions, gentleness rather than anger.

And if you don't get anything else this morning, please get this.

How mature you are emotionally and spiritually is largely revealed in how you respond to difficult people.

So here's the kicker.

The big question.

How do we pull this off?

Well, we only do so with God's help.

And with the wisdom from his word, that's our our playbook.

It's our roadmap, our oxygen mask for this life.

Love difficult people.

How?

First thing is this lower your expectations of people.

Just do it.

Just lower your expectations of what you expect from people.

Because here's the deal someone's gonna let you down.

Someone's gonna lie to you.

Someone's gonna betray you.

Someone is not gonna show up for you.

Someone's gonna not be there for you.

They're gonna hurt you and disappoint you because they're people.

And instead of saying, I can't believe that she would, or I am shocked that they would, or I never thought that he would.

We have to remember this.

Sinners do sinful things.

Sinners do sinful things, and that truth includes all of us.

Welcome.

But if you really want to know what people are like, Paul in the New Testament, he doesn't hold back.

He's hanging with Timothy and he said, Timothy, let me let me just tell you flat out how people are gonna roll.

Look what he says here in 2 Timothy 2, or 2 Timothy 3, verses 2 and 4.

2 Timothy 3:2

Paul says, Tim, here's the deal.

People will be lovers of themselves.

They're gonna be lovers of money.

People are gonna be boastful, proud, and abusive, disobedient to their parents and ungrateful.

People are gonna be unholy without love.

They're gonna be unforgiving and slanderous.

They're not gonna have any self-control.

They're gonna be brutal, not lovers of the good.

People are gonna be treacherous and rash, conceited, and lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.

That's quite the list, right?

And yet we act shocked at what they post or text.

We're angered and bothered by the things that they say or do.

Guys, look at me.

Sinful people do sinful things.

Life would be great if it weren't for the people, right?

Lower your expectations of people.

And notice when Jesus in Scripture, when you begin to follow him through the gospels, story after story, encounter after encounter, one thing you'll notice is that he was never shocked by self-centeredness.

He was never offended or outraged by immoral behavior.

I mean, take Peter, for example.

If you're new to the Bible, Peter was one of Jesus' close disciples.

He was in his inner circle.

And Peter got to a point where he was kind of bragging to the other disciples.

And he would say to Jesus, I'm your guy, Jesus.

I mean, you know, me, these other loser guys, they're they're not going to show up for you like I will.

I mean, I got your back when they don't.

24-7, you can count on me.

I'm always with you.

Anything you need, I'll never deny you.

And then what did Peter do?

He lied, totally betrayed Jesus, stabbed him in the back, abandoned him.

And what did Jesus not do?

He didn't quit a small group.

I'm out of here.

He didn't switch churches.

He didn't go on a big Facebook rant.

He just forgave Peter.

And he kept loving him.

And he gave him a new assignment to go and take care of the sheep.

Lower your expectations of people.

Secondly, this is big.

Refuse to play their game.

Get this this morning.

Just because you're invited to the drama doesn't mean you have to attend the performance.

Because here's the deal crazy makers love to argue.

You know it.

They love to debate, they love to stir the pot, and they love to get your attention.

And they love to use conflict to get your attention.

And when people try to get your attention through conflict, they're just trying to hook you.

They're gone fishing.

And you know how this plays out.

You're just sitting there, mind your own business, kind of scrolling social media.

Somebody makes some off-the-wall statement, you're like, oh no, you didn't.

I'm gonna tell you about yourself.

Hi.

And you're ready to follow this just blazing response in the comments.

Let me tell you about yourself.

You've got that that text response or email reply ready, and it's a response that is gonna light them up.

When what just happened?

They just hooked a big one, and they are reeling you in, man.

Don't play the game.

Don't don't take the bait.

And there are examples all throughout scripture where Jesus shows us how not to do this.

Jesus did not play games with people, and he had all kinds of crazy makers in his life.

This group of men called the Pharisees.

And uh they were the religious authorities of the day, and they hated Jesus.

They were threatened by him.

They're always trying to trap him or trip him up, getting him to say something wrong, always playing games with Jesus.

And Jesus refused to play their games.

For example, look at this in Matthew 22.

It says, the Pharisees plotted a way to trap Jesus into saying something damaging.

Jesus knew they were up to no good.

He said, Why are you playing these games with me?

Why are you trying to trap me?

There it is.

Jesus would not be pulled into their crazy games.

He wouldn't be drawn to some argument that he knew was going to go absolutely nowhere.

And let me add this: if a person is determined to think a certain way, they're going to think that way.

And all the logic in the world, all the sound reasoning and explanations, all of your social media posts and comments is not going to change their mind.

They want to engage you in the argument.

They want to stir the pot.

They want to get you upset and get under your skin.

The Bible says this in Proverbs 26.

It says, just as charcoal and wood keep a fire going, a quarrelsome person keeps an argument going.

How many people does it take to argue?

Yeah.

Just two?

Just two.

And so if one of the people walks away, what happens to the argument?

Fire goes out.

And if you don't join in or engage, the fire goes out.

So refuse to play their game.

Third thing is this.

Ask yourself this question.

Do I want to make a point or do I want to make a difference?

Do I want to make a point or do I want to make a difference?

Weeks ago, Pastor Bill looked at this passage with us from the book of James, James 1.19.

It says, everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

And I want you just to ask yourself, how am I doing with that assignment?

Quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry.

I think it's obvious that we live in a culture where most people are not listening.

They're not good listeners.

They're very, very fast to speak and to post.

People are incredibly offended about everything and become very angry very quickly.

And let's be honest, we we all have our thing, and that's okay.

We all, including me, have our issue.

We all have that thing that we think everybody should be upset about and agree with us on, right?

And you get angry at other people because they're not angry about the thing that angers you.

And over time that anger kind of evolves and it brews and it becomes toxic.

And I just don't think it's pleasing to God.

I just ask you, how effective is your anger?

How's it working for you?

Is it making you more like Jesus?

Is it pointing other people around you to the purpose and life and freedom that's only found in Christ?

Is it making you more loving?

Is it drawing other people into a more joyful life?

Spoiler alert.

It's not working.

It's not working according to Scripture.

Let's look at James 1:19 again and tag on verse 20.

James 1:19

Again, it says everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

Verse 20.

Why?

Because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

How effective is your anger?

Are you drawing more and more people to the goodness and love of God because of it?

Here's the deal about feelings and emotions.

Emotions are great passengers, but they're horrible drivers.

We need to decide.

Do I want to make a point or do I want to make a difference?

My wife and I have been married now for over 30 years, and it's been an incredible journey.

But like all couples, we have our challenges and our stuff and our obstacles we have to navigate through on that journey.

One currently being what I would call the thermostat wars in our home.

We recently sat down for a time of healing and attempted compromise as we engaged in what I would describe as thermostat negotiations.

Now, my wife is brilliant.

She takes a psychological approach to this.

She plays kind of these really smart mind games on her part.

I'll be like, I'm so hot.

I'm laying in bed.

I'm just covered in sweat, you know, it is so hot.

And she'll say, You just think you're hot.

And I'm like, No, I'm really hot.

And sometimes she'll do the same thing with food.

I'll be like, man, I haven't eaten in 10 hours.

I'm starving.

I'm so hungry.

And she'll say, You just think you're hungry.

And I'm like, I'm I'm pretty sure I'm hungry, you know.

You just think you're hot.

And so what we did, we each wrote out a number on a piece of paper of what we think the ideal temperature in our home should be.

We didn't discuss it, we didn't tell each other.

We wrote it down without discussing, and we swapped numbers.

I received hers and I looked at hers and I kind of laughed on the inside.

And I crossed it out, I wrote a different new number and sent it back to her.

She then crossed out my number, wrote in her new number, and sent it back to me with this added written response.

It said, You think you're hot, but my first boyfriend was way hotter.

It's not that funny.

But this is a big deal.

Why?

Because the thermostat in our home controls so much.

And it really made me stop and think.

In my day-to-day life, am I a thermostat or am I a thermometer?

What about you?

In your day-to-day life, are you are you a thermostat or are you a thermometer?

Are you a thermometer where you just kind of reflect the current atmosphere around you?

You just kind of react without much thought.

You let external circumstances kind of dictate all your feelings.

Just kind of let your emotions get the best of you.

Or are you a thermostat where you dictate the temperature?

You dictate the temperature in the room and actually influence others around you.

Romans 12, 2 says, do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Will you just kind of conform or will you transform?

You just kind of settle and react like the rest of the world does?

Or will you change the culture rather than being controlled by it?

Guys, God is calling each and every one of us to dictate the temperature in the room.

He's calling us to be thermostats.

So that when the room gets pretty icy and pretty cold, we warm it up with a smile or an encouraging word.

And when the room maybe gets way too heated, we cool it off with some level-headed thinking.

Maybe some wisdom from Scripture.

And sometimes maybe even we cool it off by just choosing to say nothing.

You see, his love through us can control so much.

And a reckless world of thermometers, man.

Be a thermostat.

Well, most people just want to make a point.

Make a difference.

Make a difference.

Lastly, this is huge.

Your life is one big mission trip.

Your life is one big mission trip.

It really is.

You see, the life of a Christ follower is one big mission trip that you've been sent on by Jesus.

And it totally changes everything about how you engage where you live, work, and play.

And here at the Grove, we not only join Jesus on that mission, but we also love missions.

We love the idea of sending people around the world to share the message and the love of Jesus Christ.

We've got an incredible team this summer going to Mexico.

They're preparing right now to do just that.

And I love going on mission trips.

I've had the joy of serving on so many teams over the last several years in different countries.

And one of my most memorable trips was a week we spent in Barbados in this village of St.

John.

And we had gone there to encourage this young church and to serve in their community where there was just an abundance of poverty and hardship.

But the people of that church, a church that had just grown and taken off so fast, their joy was just, it was contagious.

And one of the things that I loved about their culture, and this was really odd, is that they considered being a big guy, very attractive there.

And um I walked around kind of feeling like the offspring of the rock in Halleberry.

Like, what's going on?

You know, praise the Lord, yes, you know.

It was the way I felt in my dad's nursing home when I would go to see him and all those little ladies, like, hey, you got any hard candy, you know?

And like in seconds, I went from a four to a ten in that place.

That's how I felt in Barbados.

But but the people of this church, they were so vocal and encouraging about it.

They would say, Shad.

They couldn't say Chad, they would say, Shad, Pastor Shad, look at you.

You're amazing.

And I was like, Yes, I am.

Yes, I am.

Very different, but I'll adjust, I'll figure it out.

But different, right?

And that's not all that was different there.

It's not all that was different, and maybe made me feel a little uncomfortable or even awkward at times.

When the worship and music and all that began in their morning service, it was awesome.

It was high energy and so enthusiastic.

But I wasn't expecting the dancing that kicked in next.

There I am.

Something would quickly take me out of my comfort zone.

Nobody wants to see that.

But I'm going along and I'm I'm trying to do my thing.

I'm I'm keeping it tight and kind of around the chest, you know, just kind of going with it, doing the best I can.

And it's going pretty good until all of a sudden it comes time to take the offering up.

Now, in most churches in our country, when they take up the offering, it often involves like an offering plate or an offering basket.

This part of the world handled things a little differently.

They rolled out this big offering barrel right up in the center of the church, which means every individual was gonna dance their way up to the barrel and put their offering in the barrel.

I'm thinking, how's this gonna work?

400 people can't all dance their way up to the barrel at the same time.

But cultures are smart, and they had a system, they had a plan.

And that plan was a 400-person conga line.

And I'm at the very end of it.

I'm at the very end of the conga line, but I'm I'm staying positive, I'm hopeful, I'm thinking, this is probably gonna move pretty fast.

It's gonna, they'll keep it moving.

No, it did not go fast.

I in the back of this line, it started in the very back of the church, and it went down every every aisle and it woke through every single row.

It took like over a half an hour.

I am sweating, I'm out of shape.

I'm I'm exhausted just doing the church conga.

And I'm like, dun dun dun dun dun, Jesus, dun dun dun dun dun, God, dun dun dun dun dun, pray.

And I'm like, I can't breathe.

And we haven't even gotten to the sermon yet.

This is I'm like, this is a lot.

This is a lot.

But if you've ever been on any kind of international mission trip, my guess is that you have had some uncomfortable moments at times because the culture's different, right?

Some of the food they put put in front of you, the way it's prepared, you're like, whoa, what's this?

The language, the interest, their way of doing things, their beliefs and and personal interactions are just different.

And maybe even awkward and pretty uncomfortable at times for you.

But before you go on the trip, you expect this.

You plan for it, you you seek to understand it because you're going to where they are to do life with them and to show the love of Christ to them.

Being willing to step out of your comfort zone because you're on a mission.

Our life is no different, friends.

Your life is one big mission trip 24-7, where you live, where you work, and where you play.

Engaging people every day who talk different than you, believe different than you, people who vote different than you.

People who have moral accomplices and lifestyles that are completely opposite of you.

Some who anger, annoy, and maybe even disgust you because you're on a mission.

Jesus said this in Matthew 5.

He said, You are the salt of the earth.

But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?

It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.

He says, You are the light of the world.

A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.

Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.

Instead, they put it on a stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.

In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

Jesus calls all of us to be salt and light, to bring these God flavors to a lost and broken world, to be this kind of holy preservative to the hopeless, and to a world that is in moral and spiritual decay.

To be light bearers, to believe that even just a little bit of light completely changes dark places.

And to have an active, engaged faith versus one that's passive, polarizing, and constantly offended.

Love difficult people.

You're one of them.

And so am I.

So am I.

Romans 3 says, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are justified by his grace as a gift through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.

Quick show of hands, everybody in the room.

Everybody who's never sinned in your life, get them high.

Never sinned ever.

Awkward.

I'm not a really smart guy.

But in my 54 years of life, now this is one thing that I've learned.

This is on the screen.

It's just true.

The bigger my sin looks to me, the smaller other sins against me look in comparison.

Grace isn't for the deserving.

Jesus didn't call us to be right, He called us to be loving.

And He's looking for a lot less judges and a lot more witnesses.

So don't condemn the culture.

Redeem it.

Redeem it.

Well, Chad, how?

Well, it's got to be a decision and not a feeling because we'll never feel like doing this.

It's a choice that I'm telling you is completely and utterly dependent on God's strength.

It is fully dependent on his transformative power in us that just thrives in the midst of our weaknesses.

And as we pray in a moment, I'm going to ask that we just pray a very simple, very honest and honestly kind of desperate prayer to God this morning.

A prayer that simply says, God, make me what I'm not.

God, make me what I'm not.

Because only God can pull this off in us.

And I think it's why in the Old Testament, I love this picture we get in Scripture of the potter and the clay.

You'll see this picture on the screen.

Because we only pull any of this off by surrendering to what is our role in all of this.

Look what Isaiah 64 says.

It says, Yet you, Lord, are our Father.

We are the clay.

You are the potter.

We are all the work of your hand.

I want you to just look at that image again.

Just lock in on that for a minute.

Here's what the Bible's saying about you and I.

Don't be offended, but the scripture's saying that you and I, we're just messy lumps.

We're just these messy lumps of clay in the hands of the potter.

If you've ever in real life seen a potter throwing clay on a wheel, it's a crazy process to watch.

Because the clay can often be really stubborn.

The clay can often resist the potter's hands, and the process can be extremely difficult.

But you sit there and watch, and the potter just patiently keeps remaking, patiently reshaping because he sees what it could be.

He sees what it could be.

Would you pray with me?

Oh God, make us what we aren't.

Make us what we aren't.

Like the clay on the potter's wheel.

We also have the ability to resist.

But the clay doesn't tell the potter what to do.

God, we thank you that the clay in the right hands can be made into something beautiful.

Oh God.

Make me what I'm not.

Oh Lord, make us what we aren't.

I pray these things in your name.

Amen.