Grove Women LIVE // We Are Family... who GATHER in worship

Good morning, gals.

Welcome to a brand new series here in Grove Women Live.

I am super excited for us to do this short.

It's going to be a four-week series.

And then I think we'll take another little break and then we'll pop back on I think later in September.

But uh for the next four weeks, we are going to be chatting together as women through a series called We Are Family.

And the basis for this series is going to be talking about four uh words that start with the letter G.

So we call them the four G's: gather, grow, give, go.

Um, and so this week we're gonna talk about the importance of actually physically gathering together and being together worshiping Jesus.

And I know like there's a lot to say about this topic, and and I've got a lot of, I don't know, I've got a lot of thoughts, and we're gonna see what the Lord does with them this morning.

But um I'm excited to be here.

Many of you are experiencing back to routine, back to schedule, back to all the things after being, you know, maybe more relaxed throughout the summer.

And listen, that's one of the reasons I love summer, is because the routine does not have to be the routine.

But it's time to get back at things.

And I hope uh by the end of today, you have been encouraged and maybe even a little bit challenged to join together with the family of God.

And and I'm gonna give you reasons why I do it.

So uh I'm gonna start us off in prayer and then we are gonna launch right in.

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Give me a shout out uh when you join us so that I know that you are that I know you're here.

All right.

Father God, thank you for this time that we can be together.

And Lord, I just give it give it all to you.

Uh the next 30 minutes, Lord, just be the words that you want someone to hear on the other end of um of this screen.

Um, Lord, let it be exactly what her heart needs and may it motivate us to draw closer to you and to your people.

Lord, thank you for loving us enough to invest so much into us.

Thank you for your son Jesus.

It's in his name I pray.

Amen.

All right, so um let me.

I'm trying to uh I always have to kind of pull it up just to try to see comments and and whatever.

I don't know if it's gonna do that or not.

Well, maybe sort of.

Anyway, we're just gonna keep on going.

So I thought I would start today with um last year, we had in church leadership, we um sometimes get um trends or statistics.

Um the Barna group, which maybe you're familiar with, they do a lot of polling of people.

Um, and they put out a church trend, um, some results from a poll that they did um in 2025.

And some of the information from it as I read through um the the new trends, the new church trends, I was so shocked and surprised um by some of them.

And so I'm gonna share a couple of those with you today.

Um, and uh let's see.

Oh, there we go.

Our computer screen is up, yay! Uh, so I can see who's here.

Great.

Okay, so I'm gonna share a couple of those stats with you.

And I I'm not gonna share the theme that I discovered in all of this, and even Barna did as well.

But um, let's see if you can hear the theme in some of these new church trends.

Okay, so uh first of all, um Barn the Barna group found out that um attendance is um going up.

Church attendance is going up.

But Gen Z and millennials, those Gen Z churchgoers now attend an average of 1.9 weekends per month, so almost two weekends a month, and millennials an average of 1.8 times per month, almost two times a month, outpacing older generations for the first time in tracking history.

Okay.

Second trend while attendance frequency among young adult churchgoers rose, the overall church cultural metric showed a wider long-term drop in adults saying faith is central to their lives.

So in 2000, when they asked the same question to people, 74% of people said that faith is central to their lives.

Now, in recent tracking, only 54% say that that is true.

Okay, men have begun attending church more consistently than women.

Weekly attendance data shows roughly 30% of men attending weekly compared to 27% of women.

Family dynamics, married dads emerged as some of the most consistent weekly church attendees, whereas single mothers face the lowest weekly attendance rates due to caregiving and work burdens.

Okay, so there are two things that pop out to me in those new trends in church life.

One, where are people my age?

And uh, where are we?

What are we doing?

Where are we in church on Sunday?

And two, this is the first time I have ever seen and been discouraged by attendance of women in church, and we're not gonna get into all the reasons why women may not be attending church.

I don't know.

Um, I mean, this group is primarily for women, and yes, because it's on the podcast, there's an opportunity for men to hear it as well.

But the majority of who's gonna hear this this morning are women.

I'm speaking primarily to women, and I have to say, women, what are we doing?

Where are we?

Where are we?

And and that's not, listen, that is not judgment.

That is not like I get some of the reasons of why women have kind of not have decided to let the priority of church slip.

Like, I get some of those reasons, at least, and and Barna talks about some of those reasons as far as like where's their play, where's the place for women?

And you know, are women encouraged?

Are they, you know, like there's I don't know.

There's a lot of reasons, and we can dive into that another day.

But this is troubling to me because as I speak into this group this morning, as the Lord speaks through me and gives me words, the reality of it is the the majority of women who are going to hear this are falling in these trends.

And man, I hope that you hang with me for the next few minutes because I hope to encourage you to change, help me change these trends.

Okay.

I mean, I'm very troubled that single mothers don't come because of the burden of working and child giving or child carrying.

Like it's it's not church is not helping with that.

So that that hurts me, and I want to figure out ways to fix that.

And and if that's you, like, man, that hurts my heart.

I want to figure out why that's a trend.

And man, I'm so glad that men are coming back, but but where are we, women?

That's the question I want to ask today.

And and I don't, I don't know that I have any big philosophical or theological answers.

What I want to share today is why it's important to me.

And and I want to want, I'm gonna do it and I'm gonna ask you to do it.

Like, yes, my job is being a minister at a church, a local church.

And this is not today and the next four weeks are not a message to get you to come to Hickory Grove.

We'd love for you to come to Hickory Grove, but there are good churches all over our area, all across the country.

I'm not promoting Hickory Grove as the church you need to be at.

Maybe you do, maybe you don't.

There are lots of great churches.

But I am gonna share, like taking off the minister's hat and putting it to the side because yes, I have to show up because it's part of my job.

But if it wasn't my job, I've spent some time like really praying through, okay, Lord, why is it important to me?

And I'm gonna share those reasons this morning with you of why it's important to me and why I think it should be important to you.

Okay, now I'm gonna start off also by saying that like I'm I'm talking to those who call themselves Christians and are believers in Jesus.

And we've kind of talked on here before about the difference between somebody that says I'm a Christian and somebody that's actually following Christ.

There's a difference with that, and so I am I am hopefully going to speak to the heart of those of you that that say you're a Christian, say you're following Jesus, like I'm speaking to you.

And if you are not a believer yet, man, like don't let somebody else in their humanness, because man, we're all human and we all make mistakes, don't let somebody else stop you from saying yes to Jesus or going to church.

Like, don't don't let that be your reason.

Okay, so let's talk through just some of the reasons why church is important um to me, even if I wasn't a minister.

First of all, um it's always been a part of my life.

Um, and I know that's not everybody's experience.

I know that not everybody was raised in the church, but I have been in church um since before I was born.

My mom and dad met at church, and from what I can gather, because he doesn't talk about it too much, my dad was kind of a he was kind of skirting the line of uh doing a prison ministry, but also being a part of prison, you know, like he was kind of skirting that line his through his youth and and whatever.

And my mom was raised in church, so they met in church, and I've always been in church.

And and yes, you know, as a teenager it felt forced, but looking back, like I can't really remember a time.

And I'm sure there were Sundays, I'm sure I fought my parents, I'm sure there were times.

I I know in college it was a struggle for me to like stay connected, but uh I love the church, I love the local church, and I've I've been a part of many congregations.

I grew up in Indiana, I remember so many good things about my mom and dad.

Man, my mom and dad were doing small groups before they knew what small groups were.

Like I can remember going to church softball games and my mom and dad hanging out with other people and me hanging out with other kids.

And, you know, my dad was part of a basketball league, and so we got to do the same things.

And man, we I remember going to people's houses, and I remember staying after church and or going to meals after church, or like I even remember hanging out at the pastor's home in a little church that we lived or that we went to for a long time, like after church on Sunday and eating Sunday dinner with them, and then mom, dad, and pastor uh napping together and all us kids playing together.

Like, I have some really good core memories that center around the church body, not just in the building, but the the church, um, the body of Christ.

I have really good memories of that growing up.

Um, and and I was given an example, and I know this is not true for everybody, but I was shown an example of why we gather with God's people.

Like I saw my mom and dad in good relationship with people, and I got to hang out with other kids, and those relationships they grew.

And even though we moved from Indiana to Kentucky and had to start all over again in middle school, like my parents were like, okay, we got to find a church.

And they did.

And that community aspect of it and doing life together and growing together, like, I am a firm believer that what was the example for me is the reason why I am so passionate about it now, and probably why the Lord has created this position for me to help people get connected with each other at my local church.

But the first reason that church is important to me and gathering in a space together consistently is important to me is because I've always had it and I've always loved it, and it's just a part of who I am.

Um and and I don't know if that's your story, but church for me has always been a place where I have been able to see and get from it.

Like I've seen the good of it.

Now, listen, I've seen the bad too.

And I'm gonna talk about church hurt here in just a couple of minutes.

I've seen that too.

I've seen it in a lot of different ways.

I've seen it happen to my own parents, I've seen it happen to the youth minister that that walked with me through my teenage years and is the reason I am in this role today, the reason I'm still in church today.

Like he was so impactful, but I've seen, I saw him run out of church.

Like I've seen bad things happen in church.

And so if that's your story, I get that.

But at some point, man, we've got to do better than one point something weeks at church.

So at some point, we've got to let the Lord heal us um and we've got to get back to it.

So, reason number one why it's important for me to gather is because I always have.

It's always been a part of my DNA, it's always been something that I've loved and longed for and want to be inside with God's people.

I want to gather with them.

So, reason number two, I need it.

And if I need it, we all, I mean, like we all need it.

Like, gals, this these trends hurt my heart because at some point women have decided I don't need it.

I don't need to gather with other people.

And I don't understand that.

And I I want I want that to be a different story, a different trend.

Because when I go to church, even though I have like job things I have to do on Sunday mornings, even though that's true, like I get filled.

I love to worship through music.

I love to sing, I love to stop singing and hear those around me sing the words.

Like, oh man, I love that when I've talked about this before, but man, going to camp with either our kids or our students and hearing them worship and being in a room with them worship, worshiping with hands in the air and just like they don't care.

And man, I love to sing it.

I love to hear others sing praise and glory to God.

I love that.

It fills me up, it fills my cup.

It also resets me for the week.

Like I look at gathering on Sunday as like, man, some Sundays I come in depleted, right?

I come in completely empty and I need to go just like my car needs gas.

Actually, my car does need gas right now.

I've got to remember to do that today because I am, I am on fumes.

But like that is the reality of how I feel sometimes.

I am on fumes and I go into church, and it doesn't take too long to have a conversation or be in a prayer uh huddle with the team or sing the worship songs or hear the message and and it fills me up so that I can go out there and do the things that I need to do each week.

And you know, I don't know, like I it's just it's that reset for me every single Sunday to like, okay, get filled up and get back in the game.

Like and I know a lot of other people share that.

Like I've heard many people say that church for me, man, it's like that fill up.

I get that fill up and then I can go and be what I need to be.

And I don't know how people are staying filled if they're only showing up once or twice a month.

Like for me, like I just couldn't do it.

I couldn't do that.

And and I think that, you know, it takes time to develop that rhythm and to stay in that rhythm of showing up consistently, but man, it's so worth it.

Another reason that I need it is because like I need to hear the messages.

The messages I know that that my pastor prays through those and lets the Holy Spirit lead him.

And and I need to hear what the Holy Spirit has shown him in God's word so that it can transform my heart, so that I can be motivated or convicted or encouraged to go and do uh beyond what I think I'm capable of.

And so a lot of times those messages are just the encouragement that I need to keep going and to do it, whatever the thing is that maybe I'm feeling prompted to do.

So um, and then finally, another reason that I need it is I get to witness life transformation.

And I think that that that is a component of being in um corporate worship with others, I think that we underestimate the power of that.

Like I have witnessed people come to know Jesus and be baptized because they saw somebody else be baptized and heard their story.

Like the stories of others is such a big deal.

Um, and over the next couple of months, in um just at at our church, like we're gonna hear from a couple of people that have, you know, written their story in a book.

And I'm so excited for that.

I love to come into the building of church to hear how God is working in other people's lives.

And I think that that's important for us to see and to hear.

And a couple of weeks ago, I'm gonna share this.

A couple of weeks ago, our student minister, um Jack, he preached a message um about, you know, he is the vine, we are the branches being connected.

And it was a great message, but my favorite part of the message was at the end, he called us into a moment of gathering with our families and praying as families.

And so for service, I was up in the booth, like the sound booth.

Um, that's where I usually hang out to hear uh the message and to hear the service.

And I was up there, and so I had a bird's eye view of watching families literally get out of their seats, gather in circles together, and pray over some prompts that Jack had provided.

And it was beautiful.

And if I had not been there, I would not have been blessed and encouraged by that and seeing God move in those families because they took a minute to pray with each other.

It was a beautiful thing to witness.

And so when we don't come to church, we don't get to see those things, we don't get to hear stories.

And yeah, like we have church online, I get that.

And we we even do this online, and I am thankful for those opportunities because legitimately there are people that cannot get to church.

And so praise the Lord.

Technology has come into a place where we can provide that for anybody, like people that maybe cannot, because of mobility or because of health or whatever, can't get to church.

Like, I'm so glad that we have that.

But if you're able and you're choosing not to, you are missing out on being filled, being encouraged, being transformed, and watching that happen in others.

Man, it's life-changing when we get to witness how God works in other people's lives.

So that's the second reason because I need it.

I need the fill-up.

A third reason is because church is where I have met real people.

And they, you know, people aren't always real and authentic.

Like, I can't even say I'm always real and authentic.

I try very hard to come on here each week and just be authentically who I am.

And like, I don't know, like the last couple of weeks, I haven't even showered.

Like, I just come in here and like I've got my coffee and I'm just who I am in the morning.

And um, like this is me.

And I can say that even though people disappoint and you know let us down, and relationships go through things, like I have met real people at church throughout my life, and those relationships are the ones that matter most and have made the biggest impact on my life.

They are the relationships that have helped my marriage, helped me stay married.

Like, to be honest, helped me stay married.

They have been the relationships that have been the ones that I can say, I just need you to pray over this situation.

Like, I need you to pray over this kid, or I need you to pray over Steve's job, or I need you to pray over X, Y, and Z.

Like they have been the people that have shown up and been there when life has gotten so hard.

And I don't know how people do life without other people being there for that support.

And listen, I get it.

People are hard, people are messy, getting involved with people.

And getting to know people on that level, that that is hot, that's tough because people be people in, right?

But it's worth it.

And the realest, most authentic relationships I have in my life are people that I've met through church.

Um, and you know, I can even in college when I was struggling to figure out like a church and and am I still connected to my home church?

And like, even then, like I had a roommate that was like every other, you know, every few days, she'd be like, How's your relationship with Jesus?

And even after I left college, like she would call or she would text and be like, How's your relationship with Jesus?

Like the people I have met in church, those are the people that have helped me grow in my relationship with Jesus and become a better version of myself.

So um, reasons church is important, the actual gathering, not the body of Christ.

We're supposed to be church all the time.

We're supposed to be the church, but the church, gathering in church, it's important to me because I've always done it, I need it, and because I have met the real people in my life in church.

Another reason, a fourth reason, is because I am convinced that if I make it a priority, then my kids will too.

And my grandkids will be in church.

And listen, I'm not saying that all my kids are living the life that they need to live, but they are there on Sundays and they show up and they bring their children.

And I know that God is gonna work in that.

And I know that there is a there is potential and possibility, and the more they come, probability that they are going to do it because it's part of who they are.

They're gonna do it because they need it, they're gonna do it because they found real people in church, they're gonna do it because their kids need that too.

Like, so I do it as an example for my children and my grandchildren and for those that are around me.

Like, it's important that people know that I show up, that I'm there, and that it's a priority.

And, you know, Steve and I, we have had discussions and we have had even like arguments at different points in our life about the priority of church versus sports.

Like that is tough.

Like, we've had all, I mean, all of our boys were athletes and played and and you know, did all the things, and we have had big discussions on, and and there's been a lot of tension in our relationship about keeping church as the number one priority in their life.

And and I don't regret any of that.

I don't regret teams that we've had to pass on.

I don't regret, especially now at this point in my life, my kid is my baby's in college.

Like all my kids are grown up, they're all adults.

And I don't regret saying no to sports uh so that my kids could be in church on Sunday.

I don't regret that, not for a second.

I don't regret any dollar I've spent to send my kids to camp.

I don't regret any of that.

I may regret some of the interactions my kids have had on some of the teams they've been on.

I definitely regret that because I'm not sure those men were the men that needed to be pouring into my kids, but I do not regret any decision that we have made that has made church the priority.

I don't regret that.

Not a single ounce.

Um, and I can say that with confidence at this at this moment because my kids are now all gone.

Not, I mean, they're still around, but yeah.

Anyway, they're grown, they're adults.

Uh anyway, so I I do it.

The fourth reason is I do it to accept the example for my family to make it a priority.

And and I hope that that is something.

I mean, they they are doing it right now, and I hope that that remains a priority for them.

Even if it takes skyline every single Sunday after church, I don't care.

I don't care what it takes.

I don't regret any of that money either.

I don't regret a single dime I've spent bribing my kids that yes, I will buy your lunch if you come to church.

I don't regret that.

And honestly, I don't think that that's the reason they come anymore, but they're in the Lord's hands.

Okay.

A final reason that I church is important to me is because I feel like it's what we have been created to do.

We have been created to worship our creator.

We have been created to gather with his people and do it together.

We have been created to do these things.

And I've got a couple of verses.

I bet you thought I wasn't gonna read in your Bible.

No, ma'am, no, ma'am, that is not how I operate.

Uh, no, I've got a couple of verses that just talk about the importance of being together in church.

Um, and so I'm gonna go to Hebrews chapter 10, verse 25.

Hebrews 10:25

It says, no, 24 and 25.

It says, and let us can nope, yep, and let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works.

How are we gonna stir each other up if we're not around each other?

Just a question.

Uh, and let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another and all the more as you see the day is drawing near.

Friends, world is crazy, and I have no idea when our earth and our creator is gonna say that's enough.

But man, I don't want to have to stand before him and go, ah, well, you know, yeah, I wasn't in church because of XYZ or one, two, three.

Like, no, I hope that when I stand before him, like I know I've got stuff that I am gonna have to be judged for, but I hope that it is not because I didn't want to be in his house, or I chose not to be in his house.

Like, I don't know.

Um, so like let's not neglect that.

Let's get there, let's like rise above, you know, the pettiness of goofy people, and and let's love them and spur each other on and encourage them and let them see him transform our lives and be inspired when he transforms others' lives.

Like, let's do those things together.

Um, one more verse I want to share with you is in Ephesians chapter six.

Um, and and it just this is gonna go to a little bit of church hurt.

I I said earlier that I've seen I've seen some really bad things go down in churches.

Um, I've seen people get really, really hurt by other people in churches.

And um, and I hate that.

Like I really, really do.

I hate that because at the end of the day, we are all very, very messy human beings that do not do things perfectly, right?

Not a single one of us.

And if we claim to be, well, that's that's dangerous and wrong.

But I want to remind us, I kind of want this to be the last thing that I remind us of today, is that uh Ephesians 6, chapter 12, says this for we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

It's not people, it's not people keeping you out of church.

It's not it's not something that happened that's keeping you out of church.

Listen, it's the enemy.

If he can get you upset and frustrated and mad and or busy or distracted or on to doing other things, or like if he can get that, then he wins.

And you know what else?

Like these trends, they're just gonna keep going down.

They're just gonna keep going down because I believe that these forces, these dark forces, these dark powers that we're actually fighting against, not people, they are not giving up.

Like the end may be near, I don't know.

Um, but the enemy is not gonna give up.

He's not gonna give up.

He's gonna fight harder sometimes than we do for our hearts, our families, our children, our congregations, our people, our, you know, like our communities.

Like, he's gonna fight hard for all of that.

And he's gonna keep us busy, distracted, mad, frustrated, uh, focused on preference, you know, like I don't like what they sing or I don't like how we preach it, blah, blah, blah, whatever.

Um, he the enemy's what we're fighting, y'all.

Just so we're clear.

That's who we're fighting.

We're not fighting each other.

Um, and we've got to, we've got to figure out a way not to do that.

So um listen, I get it.

We are school goes back in session tomorrow for most people here in Kitten County, Boone County.

And I don't know where you are.

And and with school starting, whether you have kids in school or not, all the routines kind of click back into place.

All they all lock in.

And so I want to ask you, I want to challenge you today to think about why church is important to you or why it's not.

And where do you fall in these trends?

Are you showing up less than two times a month and and thinking that that's I mean, that's cool.

I listen, I want you there.

I don't care if it's one time a month, but at some point we have got to be spurred on to go deeper and and to challenge ourselves to be more connected, um, so that we get to experience the fullness of what he has for us.

Uh, I'm gonna share this.

I didn't plan to share this, but I recently I heard a prayer that I have been praying, and it's a scary prayer.

You know, there's only two prayers in my life that have been super scary and have taken me a long time to pray.

Number one, um, whatever it takes to reach my children, let that happen.

That's a scary prayer, right?

That's that's a hard prayer to pray.

But this one is is, I feel like, pretty scary too.

Um, and it is uh, Lord, if there is something that you offer that I don't yet have, then give it to me.

Change me, equip me, transform me, whatever you gotta do to me so that I have all that you offer.

That's my prayer right now.

Like, I want it all.