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Rewired by Love | Joyful Belonging

The Garden Church – Sunday Teachings

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  1. Good morning. It's great to be with you all

  2. today. It's cold outside, but it's it's

  3. warm in here. I'm glad for I'm glad for heat

  4. and I'm glad for community. This morning we are continuing

  5. our series Rewired by Love. We're in week 4 of this series

  6. in which we're getting super nerdy about how we change.

  7. We're considering what transformation looks like in the

  8. way of Jesus based on scripture and spiritual formation, but

  9. then also bringing concepts from neuroscience and attachment

  10. theory. If this is like your first time

  11. here, it's not quite this crazy. Every week we're I'm, I'm kind

  12. of setting a new bar for nerdiness today.

  13. If that's your thing, you're welcome.

  14. If not, I'm sorry, but I'm super excited about this.

  15. I'm excited to dig in and at its core, really what we're going to

  16. be doing today is looking at the question of how community

  17. functions in the process of transformation.

  18. Over the last three weeks, we've kind of looked at the problem,

  19. which we'll be talking about more.

  20. And in these next three weeks, as we kind of pivot in this, the

  21. series beginning today, we're looking at what the solution is,

  22. how we can, in the way of Jesus, experience a transformation.

  23. This morning I'd like to start with a bit of a strange story.

  24. In the 1960s, there was a psychologist by the name of

  25. Michael Gazinaga who was invited into a very strange research

  26. project. He was presented with a group of

  27. people who had had a bizarre surgery.

  28. They had suffered from severe epilepsy and in attempts to

  29. curtail the seizures that they were having, a surgery had been

  30. performed on their brain in which the two hemispheres of

  31. their brain were literally cut in half.

  32. The corpus callosum, which is attaches the the left and right

  33. hemispheres of the brain was severed in these patients to

  34. help with the the epilepsy problem, which had largely

  35. worked. But now this presented

  36. researchers with a very unique opportunity.

  37. There was an opportunity to look at at certain brain functions

  38. and certain brain systems in independence from one another in

  39. a way that had never previously been possible.

  40. So Gazinga designed these experiments and and brought

  41. these patients together to to explore how the brain really

  42. functions and and, and how does it function when the part that

  43. is specialized for language planning and conscious thought

  44. is separated from this part, that which governs much of our

  45. relationships and our emotional life and our intuitions and

  46. reflexes. In one experiment he used a

  47. trick of the visual system to present information to just one

  48. hemisphere of the brain at a time.

  49. And so they would flash images on a screen again in a, in a pre

  50. designed way that would only allow one hemisphere to interact

  51. with it in a given moment. So for instance, there was an

  52. image of a hat that was flashed onto the screen.

  53. And if, if, if the patients in the experiment were able to see

  54. this image of a hat with essentially their their their

  55. left hemisphere, the side that governs conscious thought and

  56. language, they would readily be able to say in response to the

  57. question, what did you see? A hat?

  58. OK, they saw it. They were the same as image.

  59. The question, what did you see? The response would be nothing.

  60. I didn't see anything. But if you gave them a set of

  61. flash cards and said, could you point out what it is that you

  62. saw? They were able to do it.

  63. The visual processing center recognized that, even though

  64. there was not language for it. And why is this interesting?

  65. All right, this is where it gets really fun.

  66. If you're tracking with me, I get that this is kind of

  67. confusing. All right, so there was then a

  68. process, the next stage in the experiment where there was

  69. actually a a command or a prompt given to the people such as

  70. walk. And when the the the right

  71. hemisphere, which again is governing some of this action

  72. and response and reflex, but doesn't have the ability to use

  73. language, was given this prompt, The patients would get up from

  74. their chair and start to walk. OK, they would start to move in

  75. response to the prompt. Well, this is really

  76. interesting. They would be then asked, why

  77. are you walking? Why did you get up just now?

  78. Now the left hemisphere, which controls conscious thought and

  79. language, didn't have any access to the prompt.

  80. Their left hemisphere hadn't seen it.

  81. Their left hemisphere did not know why they were moving.

  82. But in the moment, they would immediately generate a very

  83. plausible and coherent explanation.

  84. Oh, I'm going to get a Coke. It was manufactured after after

  85. the fact. All right, so This is why I am

  86. explaining this. Our brains have both the default

  87. reactions, but then very often they also have the meaning

  88. making Jonathan Height in his book the Happiness Hypothesis

  89. describes these two brain systems in images of an elephant

  90. and a rider. The elephant is the part of our

  91. our is an image for the, the non non linguistic, reflexive,

  92. automatic, emotional, relational parts of our brain that that

  93. operates on default. OK.

  94. It's the part of our brain that shows up in the spaces when

  95. somebody spills coffee on us and we're like, whoa, what do I do?

  96. How do I react when somebody comes at us and says, Hey, I,

  97. I've been wanting to talk to you about something.

  98. Can we have a conversation about, and we get the sense that

  99. I'm about to get impending feedback, right?

  100. It's, it's the, it's the part of our brain that engages

  101. automatically when somebody doesn't text us back and we're

  102. sitting there wondering what's going on, right.

  103. Our defaults, our impulses, our, our actions happen on automatic.

  104. This is controlled by this elephant, so to speak.

  105. But on the elephant, there's also a writer and a writer is

  106. this image for the conscious part of our brain, the part that

  107. does have language and explains things.

  108. And this analogy is helpful because height explains that

  109. although the writer has some level of control, we can direct

  110. our willpower attention. We can direct our focus in

  111. different ways. The very often in our lives, in

  112. our bodies, the elephant, if you will, we will be off eating that

  113. bag of Doritos late at night. We'll be running on automatic in

  114. the way that we responded to our partner, in the way that we

  115. showed up under stress and and our bodies are already out

  116. moving along the journey. And then our writer, so to

  117. speak, starts to give an explanation for it.

  118. Often times the problem is, is that in in the West in

  119. particular, and in the church, very often we have an, an

  120. approach to transformation that that brings a, a, a that that

  121. operates from an underlying philosophy that we just need

  122. more information and more willpower to change.

  123. Like if we just, if we just read our Bibles more, if we just

  124. studied more, if we just attended more consistently, if

  125. we just had more information or if we just tried harder, if we

  126. just muscled up and worked at it more than surely we could get

  127. there. The problem is, as we looked at

  128. in week 1 of this series, God wants our change, not just at

  129. the level of the mind, although that's very important, but also

  130. at the heart, the soul strength. He wants all of us to be changed

  131. by love, shaped by love, as we talked about here at the Garden.

  132. So the question I want to look at today is so how are we

  133. changed? How do, how does transformation

  134. happen? What does the Scripture have to

  135. tell us about transformation in this embodied, wholehearted way

  136. that gets not just at the rider but also at the elephant, not

  137. just at our reflexes, not just at our beliefs, but also at our

  138. reflexes? So in Week 1 of this series, we

  139. talked about the difference between knowing that and knowing

  140. how. We explained that.

  141. You could know like facts such as where you live.

  142. You could know facts such as Jesus rose from the dead.

  143. And that's a good thing. But it's that different system

  144. from knowing how to drive a car or knowing how to respond when

  145. somebody shows up with feedback. In in Week 2, we talked about

  146. our our attachment for filters, our instincts to how our

  147. experiences shape the way that we show up in response to

  148. things. That's the elephant, so to

  149. speak. Last week we talked about how

  150. our riders very often attempt to use shame and fear to get us to

  151. go where we want to go right. How often in our internal

  152. conversations and also in the church, the very often we

  153. leverage these tools of shame and fear, trying to prod,

  154. cajole, coerce ourselves in the direction of change.

  155. We named the limits of that. Sometimes we'll get a a short

  156. term burst of pressure, but often wind up hiding in

  157. performance or self protection. And we may even train our, our

  158. bodies, our our elephant, if you will, to associate God or

  159. spirituality with, with anxiety, with fear, with stress.

  160. So this morning I want to look at this question of how do we

  161. change in the way of Jesus, not just in our minds, but all the

  162. way through. And this is where our passage

  163. today, I think, is so significant.

  164. This text of Scripture in numbers Here in Numbers chapter

    Numbers 6 chapter mention

  165. 6, we find language which will be familiar to many of us in our

  166. church community. We tend to recite this week

  167. after week as part of our benediction.

  168. And, and it says here we find in Numbers chapter 6 that that God

    Numbers 6 chapter mention

  169. tells Moses to tell the priests to give the people this

  170. blessing. You'll have the priestly

  171. blessing as a, a header over this little section of Scripture

  172. and many of your Bibles here. And, and the blessing goes like

  173. this. It says, may the Lord bless you

  174. and keep you. May He make His face shine upon

  175. you and be gracious to you. May He turn His face towards you

  176. and give you peace. All right.

  177. And then we see at the end these final words.

  178. So they will put my name on the Israelites and I will bless them

  179. in verse 27. Now there are two things that

  180. both relate to community and both relate to transformation

  181. that I think are embedded in this text today.

  182. And admittedly this is not a prescription for training your

  183. fast track system or training the elephant, but I think God

  184. created us. He created our bodies, He

  185. created our minds. And we also see much of this

  186. wisdom latent in Scripture. And so here we see in Numbers

    Numbers 6 chapter mention

  187. chapter 6, the first thing that that God begins with our

  188. identity. God begins with our identity.

  189. He says, they will put my name on the Israelites and I will, I

  190. will bless them. This is such a profound truth in

  191. Scripture. It's a truth that we come back

  192. to over and over and over again. It's the truth we talked about

  193. last week. God doesn't begin in his

  194. relationship with us with a list of demands and duties.

  195. He, he doesn't give us a bunch of instructions to follow in

  196. order to be good enough, in order to be worthy enough, in

  197. order to be accepted. God starts with blessing.

  198. He starts with identity. He starts with this commitment

  199. to the people. And we see this not only here in

  200. Numbers, but throughout the Scripture.

  201. In Exodus, we read the words, I will take you to be my people

  202. and I will be your God. There's this adoption that

  203. happens first into the family of God.

  204. As the New Testament talks about it.

  205. We first become family and then learn what it means to live as a

  206. family. It's not about performing your

  207. way into the family or or being good enough that at the end of

  208. the day you find out like, oh, I passed the test.

  209. God starts with adoption. He starts with belonging.

  210. He starts with blessing. He says these people are mine,

  211. and this is so important to us. As it turns out, God's pattern

  212. of beginning with identity is important.

  213. Neuroscientifically, brain science confirms that a huge

  214. part of how this, this elephant, if you will, is formed comes

  215. from our most significant attachments.

  216. Now let me talk a little bit more about this.

  217. So the, this, this, this, this elephant in your brain, if you

  218. will, this, this implicit system that we've been talking about

  219. it, it operates much, much faster than our slower verbal

  220. system. In fact, it, it operates more in

  221. terms of pictures and images than it does in terms of words.

  222. And one of the primary jobs of this system is to actually craft

  223. our identity stories and to help make sense of who we are in

  224. relationship to the world. So in the book, the other half

  225. of church, Jim Walder and Michael Hendricks talk about how

  226. this system in the brain 6 times a second is capturing a picture

  227. and presenting it to our brain 6 times every second.

  228. And, and, and it's asking who am I?

  229. What is the situation? How would my people show up in

  230. this situation? Like what do we do here?

  231. How do we respond to this? And so when it says my people,

  232. who is it? Who is it talking about?

  233. Who's who's Wilder and Hendrix mean by this?

  234. Well, they're talking about the people with whom we have the

  235. closest attachment bonds, the people that we are most

  236. connected to. Where do our reflexes come from?

  237. Where do our gut instincts of how to respond to conflict in

  238. that moment come from? They come for the people we're

  239. closest to. They come from those embedded

  240. relationships. We look to them for a reference

  241. point of of how do I respond? Right now I'm under stress.

  242. How do I respond? We're having a conflict.

  243. How do I respond? Like in this moment, do I resort

  244. to to shame? Do I hunker down and freeze up?

  245. Or do I operate in faith in this moment when somebody is bringing

  246. emotional intensity at me? Like can I stay regulated?

  247. Can I take care of myself or do I need to lash out and fight

  248. back? These aren't things that we kind

  249. of in the moment when somebody's coming at you or cut you out in

  250. traffic, you're not having an internal conversation with

  251. yourself. You're saying, Gee, I wonder how

  252. I should respond in this moment, right.

  253. The elephant is already down the road.

  254. We've already responded before we had time to make sense of it.

  255. The writers not on board yet. The elephant is already out

  256. front. Often times the writer has

  257. relatively little control. But how does that that elephant

  258. decide what to do? By these pictures, by our group

  259. identity, by our group attachment.

  260. And and so if we act like our people in these moments when

  261. we're under pressure, when our character comes out, I think the

  262. question is, who are we most deeply attached to?

  263. If these relationships form us so significantly, What models

  264. are we learning? Who are we being discipled by?

  265. And this is a, a point where I think we have to talk about a

  266. problem that we face in our culture of what I would just

  267. describe as thin church. In a thin church culture, we

  268. don't have deep relationships, right?

  269. We might not know the people who are next to us on a Sunday.

  270. We show up for 90 minutes a week and we hear great sermon,

  271. there's some great worship music.

  272. We have a cool experience, and then we return to our lives.

  273. Thin churches is disembodied. It's it's the product of a

  274. consumer culture in which we relate to religious goods and

  275. services in the same way that we relate to so many other things

  276. in our lives. Everything about our world

  277. trains us in a posture that says like, if it fits you, great, and

  278. if not, move on. Shop somewhere else, move

  279. somewhere else, consume somewhere else.

  280. It ought to be tailored precisely to you.

  281. We live in a universe of incredible customization.

  282. You can have dark screen or you can have locked light screen on

  283. your phone. You could choose the font size,

  284. right? You can even make the widgets

  285. exactly how you want. But when you show up in

  286. community, as it turns out, one of the things that's very

  287. difficult for us is you can't do that.

  288. Other people show up and they're a mess.

  289. So how do we, how do we navigate this?

  290. How do we handle this? Well, it turns out the only way

  291. to grow new, to grow new neural networks in our brain, new

  292. patterns of attachment, new patterns of relationship, is if

  293. we are in thick relationship with one another.

  294. That means if you're not vulnerably and consistently

  295. showing up with other people, you can't have the kind of

  296. experiences with other people that that rewire you in ways of

  297. Kingdom living. And this is a problem.

  298. Our culture is so fast-paced. We're moving 100 miles an hour.

  299. There's information everywhere, and it's so cool to get the

  300. dopamine hit of an incredible communicator.

  301. Like there's a new clip on social media.

  302. It's fantastic. There's a YouTube short.

  303. But as my friend Dan White Junior says, discipleship is

  304. more than a solo endeavour surrounded by your favorite

  305. books, podcasts and YouTube clips.

  306. It's a local journey with others in availability and

  307. vulnerability. Friends, we have a a problem.

  308. We can only transform the writer if we exchange and leave our our

  309. leave our engagement with others at the level of ideas only as we

  310. begin to share life with one another in a way where we're

  311. actually seeing how that person shows up when they have a

  312. conflict with their parents. When we see how that person

  313. manages their finances, we see how that person navigates things

  314. when their boss is stressing them out, making unreasonable

  315. demands. Can we begin to be transformed

  316. in the way of Jesus, where our lives begin rewired in the way

  317. of the Kingdom? Friends, we have to find ways in

  318. our community to develop attachments with one another, or

  319. at least with some people who are following Jesus at a level

  320. where they can become primary, where we can actually be rewired

  321. in love and learn what it means not just from our family of

  322. origin to show up, but actually from one another.

  323. This takes availability. It takes a vulnerability to not

  324. only be present, but also to allow ourselves to be seen.

  325. This is what we see throughout Scripture.

  326. It's assumed in the New Testament that this kind of

  327. thick community would exist. 59 times over the course of the New

  328. Testament, exhortations are given to the body of Christ of

  329. how they should show up with one another, love one another,

  330. forgive one another, be patient with one another, bear one

  331. another's burdens. They go on and submit to one

  332. another, spur each other on. Here's the thing.

  333. You cannot learn forgiveness without having someone who you

  334. need to forgive. You cannot learn humility

  335. without having someone close to you who irritates you.

  336. You cannot learn patience without actually staying in

  337. community with somebody who moves slower than you like.

  338. God wants us to be transformed, not just at an ideas level, at a

  339. wholehearted level. But it takes thick community.

  340. In order for that to happen. We must be thickly attached to

  341. one another. This is what it means to

  342. cultivate a rich group identity. It means developing the kind of

  343. shared relationships, the shared vocabulary, the shared practices

  344. that begin to change us. We do lots of things to try to

  345. be intentional about that here at the Garden, because in a lot

  346. of ways we're a diverse community and we want to be a

  347. diverse community. But you can't just be a diverse

  348. community if you're just a diverse community in in the

  349. sense that it's a bunch of different people who are all

  350. hanging out in the same way as Ritual.

  351. Lotus likes to say you're just the same as a subway car, like

  352. you might be travelling somewhere, but it's incidental,

  353. right? Diversity, unless it's locked

  354. together, glued together by something stronger than the

  355. difference, doesn't work. The good news for us is that we

  356. have an invitation towards that. We have the gospel of Jesus

  357. Christ, we have the family of Jesus Christ.

  358. We have a shared destination together that we can move to,

  359. that can hold us together across our differences if we'll allow

  360. it to. Every week when you come into

  361. the auditorium here, you pass a banner on the way in that has a

  362. list of value statements on it. I invite you to take a a look at

  363. that. Just notice it on your way out.

  364. Now remember when our team was wrestling with these and

  365. thinking about like, what are what are the values that are

  366. defining for our family? What are the values that we want

  367. to be defining for our community?

  368. One thing that we did that was really intentional is we started

  369. each of these values with a we statement.

  370. It wasn't just like at the garden.

  371. There is a value for hospitality.

  372. It was we practice hospitality, we attune to the Holy Spirit, we

  373. imitate Jesus, right? Because these are ways of

  374. living. These are our practices that we

  375. share that we want to walk out together as a community that

  376. become defining so that in those moments of stress that we know

  377. what to do. We know that we're going to look

  378. to Jesus. We know that we're going to

  379. attune to Holy Spirit. We know we're going to stay

  380. thickly rooted in community because this is what it will

  381. take for us to be transformed, not just at an intellectual

  382. level, but at a wholehearted level.

  383. Friends, I have to ask this morning without any pressure or

  384. shame, but I'd invite you to consider like, who are the

  385. people that you are attached to this morning and how and how are

  386. you attached to them? How are those relationships

  387. forming or shaping who you are today?

  388. Jim Rowan famously said you are the average of the five people

  389. that you spend the most time with.

  390. If that were to be true, what is being formed in you?

  391. Because it it will be like if the people who are closest to

  392. you are operating under the assumption that that good

  393. parenting means a great education that sets up your kid

  394. to be a high earner, you'll notice whatever you say on paper

  395. that your values start to look that way.

  396. If you notice that the people who are closest to you really

  397. think that the most important thing in life is to be able to

  398. have awesome vacations, even if it means maxing out your credit

  399. card to do it, you'll notice that you start to behave.

  400. You start to operate. You start to assume that same

  401. thing. If you, if you notice that in

  402. your life that the ways in which you you show up are, are defined

  403. by vocational attainment or educational attainment, look

  404. around. I bet there are some factors in

  405. your community that are shaping those things as well.

  406. And look, I'm not trying to guilt trip anybody here.

  407. There's not any mandated way to do this.

  408. I'm not even saying that it has to be at the garden

  409. specifically. But if you want to grow in your

  410. transformation, if you want to grow in your relationship with

  411. Jesus, it's important that your relationships also are connected

  412. to people who are on that journey, who are pursuing him,

  413. who are loving him, who are growing in their ability to show

  414. up like he did. I want to go back to Numbers

    Numbers 6 chapter mention

  415. chapter 6 because before we close, there's another thing

  416. that you have to see here. It's actually arguably at the

  417. heart of this. In Numbers chapter 6, not only

    Numbers 6 chapter mention

  418. do we see that that God declares belonging before there's an

  419. invitation to behaving. Not only is there this this

  420. group identity which is to be rehearsed and declared over the

  421. people of God, but also he wants to remind them of something very

  422. important. We read here that God says

  423. declare this over them. May the Lord bless you and keep

  424. you. May he make his face shine upon

  425. you and be gracious to you. You know, I think again, God

  426. knew what he was doing when he designed us.

  427. God knew what he was doing when he wrote Scripture.

  428. Neuroscience suggests to us that the face is one of the first

  429. things that we pay attention to as kids.

  430. In fact, that elephant that we've been talking about, the

  431. elephant is all about paying attention to faces.

  432. It looks at a tunes. You notice this whenever,

  433. anytime you, some of some of us in here either are round babies

  434. or have had babies and man, you just have this pole and the

  435. babies do too, to just gaze into each other's eyes with warmth

  436. and delight. Maybe you've experienced this in

  437. a romantic relationship. When you're first falling in

  438. love, everybody just wants to gaze deeply into each other's

  439. eyes. You're practicing attunement.

  440. You're practicing connection. This is what helps to form and

  441. forge these strong, thick relationships that shape us.

  442. It's what signals to the elephant part of our brain that,

  443. hey, it's, it's OK. You're welcomed here, you're

  444. loved here. I'm paying attention to you.

  445. Your needs are going to be met. I'm going to take care of you.

  446. And when God decides to give his people a blessing, something

  447. that he wants to have repeated to them over and over and over,

  448. he says, even though theologically we know that we

  449. don't like see the face of God, God says, hey, I want to give

  450. the people that image, my face shining over you.

  451. Alan Shore talks about joy as being the experience of being,

  452. quote, the sparkle in someone's eye.

  453. How does it make you feel when you walk into a room or

  454. experience a connection? And there's just that delight,

  455. that joy. You can tell that this person

  456. just treasures you, that they're so happy to see you, that they,

  457. they adore you, they love you. They want to be connected to

  458. you. They want to be close to you.

  459. They're paying attention to you, God says, This is how I want my

  460. people to feel. This is what I want them to

  461. know. This is how I relate to them.

  462. My face shines upon them and is gracious to them.

  463. My face turns toward them as a source of peace.

  464. Friends, when we feel the joy of God's shining face, when we get,

  465. when we experience not just know in the rider, but when the

  466. elephant really feels, experiences, encounters the deep

  467. transforming delight of God, there's something in us that

  468. just unlocks. We move out of protect mode

  469. where we're working in our fear based strategies to try and keep

  470. ourselves safe and we move into connect mode where we open, we

  471. can learn. God shines his face towards us.

  472. He looks at us with delight and joy and invites us to to receive

  473. his countenance to soak in it. Maybe you've wondered at some

  474. point why we don't just have a long sermons every week.

  475. We do kind of have long sermons every week.

  476. Why, why we don't why, why we don't just make the sermon the

  477. whole thing or Bible teaching the whole thing.

  478. The Bible teaching is super important.

  479. Some of what we do up here in the worship moment is allowing

  480. ourselves to not just hear, not just consciously process these

  481. things, but to allow our our souls to kind of soak in it, to

  482. receive it, to imagine it, to connect with it.

  483. Because these truths aren't meant to just change our minds,

  484. they're meant to change our entire being.

  485. That's what it means to be shaped by the love of Jesus.

  486. When we're in shame based striving, our rider is just

  487. bullying us, trying to push us, coerce us, make us do better,

  488. work harder, be better in order to be accepted.

  489. But when we're in this connection with God that He

  490. offers to us if we'll receive it, His face shining upon us

  491. with delight and joy, His eyes sparkling at the goodness of who

  492. he has made, transformation becomes a natural outflowing of

  493. who we are. It starts with receiving the

  494. goodness of God. And this is what we see over and

  495. over and over again in Scripture.

  496. Jesus says, you are my people, He declares.

  497. When creation happens to the first humans, he says, he looked

  498. at them and it was very, very good, right?

  499. He declares over his Son at his baptism.

  500. He says, This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased.

  501. Before Jesus performs or produces or preaches.

  502. In fact, we see this in the epistolary structure of the New

  503. Testament. Almost every epistle starts with

  504. this deep theological treatise on who we are, our identity 1st,

  505. and then after chapters and chapters of who we are, it gets

  506. to and then this is how you should live, because both are

  507. important. How we should live is important,

  508. but we also need to receive this identity as one who is beloved.

  509. I think, friends, that it's so important that God doesn't just

  510. give us these ideas in Scripture.

  511. He doesn't just model them to us himself.

  512. But then he places us into an adopted family created by by

  513. baptism in the blood of Jesus, where we get to walk this stuff

  514. out, where we get to remind ourselves who we are, where we

  515. get to practice these new ways of relating and showing up

  516. because of what Jesus has done. There's a new family that's been

  517. created. We don't need to hustle our way

  518. into it, but once we're in it, we learn the ways of living in

  519. that family. And as we show up with each

  520. other in the same ways that God shows up with us, not with

  521. condemnation, not with judgement, not with anxiety, not

  522. with pressure, but with joy, with delight, with care, with

  523. attunement, something in US begins to unlock and we can live

  524. more fully and more deeply into the reality of who God has made

  525. us to be. Friends, what does this look

  526. like for us as a church community, as a family is trying

  527. to walk this out together? Probably a lot of things.

  528. We're going to talk about some more of those things over the

  529. next couple of weeks in more detail and point to some

  530. specifics in Scripture where we see these patterns playing out.

  531. But I think first of all, it means actually beginning to

  532. relate to each other. Not as nuisances or obstacles,

  533. not as people we have to find time to schedule with.

  534. Like what if we really related to one another as beloved

  535. children of God? Like what if instead of just

  536. rushing past each other to get somewhere, what if we allowed

  537. ourselves to just actually lock eyes with the other person for a

  538. minute and to appreciate them, to rejoice in them, to extend

  539. some of that that goodness that we have received from God to one

  540. another. Say, hey, you're, you're wanted

  541. here, you're loved, you're cared for.

  542. It sounds so cheesy, but it's so real.

  543. Friends, God wants us to experience this.

  544. And, and we don't experience this in some kind of solo

  545. journey. We have to learn how to show up

  546. with each other that way, and we have to learn to allow more and

  547. more of ourselves to be seen so that we can be healed at the

  548. deepest part of who we are. I remember one thing that's been

  549. so significant to me as I was thinking about how this has

  550. happened in my own life. This week was early in my dating

  551. relationship with Ali. I came into the relationship

  552. with some pretty meaningful scars.

  553. I'd had some big wounds, some traumas, I would say, and there

  554. were some trust issues, some shame issues that were pretty

  555. deeply embedded in the relationship and in my operating

  556. model for the world. And I'm not going to tell you

  557. what they are because I don't know if you all are as safe as

  558. Ali is. But I do remember in, I remember

  559. specific moments in conversation where I named some things that I

  560. felt a lot of grief around, some things that I had done that I

  561. wish I had to take back on. Some moments in my story where

  562. things had gone sideways and I'd been partly at fault.

  563. And I remember she held that in a way that was probably more

  564. representative of Jesus than anybody I'd countered up until

  565. that point. Instead of judgement or

  566. condemnation or disgust or alarm or incredulity, condescension,

  567. I'd experienced all of those things.

  568. She just had deep, genuine care. She had curiosity.

  569. She showed up with an open heart.

  570. And that experience for me was, was deeply transformational.

  571. Because there were some things that I, I already knew in my

  572. head that like the writer was already aware of the good

  573. theology. But my body carried the wounds.

  574. I held the score of some of these these things that I had

  575. been through. And when Ali honestly just

  576. modeled Jesus to me, it allowed for me to begin to just breathe

  577. a little deeper, to feel a little freer, to step a little

  578. further out of hiding, to be a little bit more honest.

  579. It created more profoundly more intimacy in my life, not just

  580. with her, but with my dad in in, in relationships of friendship

  581. with Caleb, with others. She showed up with me like

  582. Jesus, with compassion, with care, with delight, and there

  583. was something in me that was healed through that experience.

  584. Friends, how often do we do this with and for each other?

  585. Like being a community is all about reading Scripture

  586. together. It's all about praying together.

  587. Those are good, important things.

  588. We talk about those things all the time.

  589. We need to keep doing those things, press into those things.

  590. But it also means being a community that can like confess

  591. together. They can care for each other

  592. when we're in freeze or shut down.

  593. They can show up for one another in ways that demonstrates the

  594. belovedness that is real because of Jesus.

  595. As we wind down this morning, I want to invite you just into a

  596. brief practice. It's going to be by way of

  597. response today. I just want to invite us to to

  598. take a chance to risk getting in touch with the way in which God

  599. delights in US. And I say risk because like for

  600. some of us, actually allowing ourselves to feel delighted and

  601. feels intensely vulnerable, doesn't it?

  602. You know what I mean? We like almost feel this, this

  603. irresistible urge to like crack a joke or to look away.

  604. If you don't believe me, try to like maintain really intentional

  605. eye contact for 30 seconds after this.

  606. It's weird. It will mess you up.

  607. OK, like we, it's hard to tolerate being seen because it

  608. it generates all that vulnerability for us like, but

  609. but if I'm really, if I'm really seen, if I'm really known, if

  610. they really get what's true about me, will they reject me?

  611. Will they push me away? So I want to invite you this

  612. morning as we move into a time of response to actually sit with

  613. a verse of Scripture. And this is just about making

  614. space to notice God's love. You're free to to listen, to

  615. imagine, to rest. Whatever comes to mind is

  616. enough. This is a verse that that speaks

  617. of God's joy and delight. So if you don't need to generate

  618. some profound theological insight here, but I want to

  619. notice, I want you to notice how it actually feels to be in your

  620. body as you sit with this truth in a personal way.

  621. So as we begin, I want to invite you to just go ahead and take a

  622. deep breath in and a long breath out.

  623. One more time. A deep breath in and a long

  624. breath out. If you're comfortable, you can

  625. close your eyes or lower your gaze to the floor.

  626. There's no right way to do this exercise.

  627. Just come into the present moment.

  628. I know I'm feeling a little bit of anxiety in my body just from

  629. being up here in front of a bunch of people and thinking

  630. about things. So just notice what's true for

  631. you right now. Pay attention to your feet on

  632. the floor, your body and the chair.

  633. Any sensations that you're feeling, you don't need to

  634. change anything. Just notice.

  635. How am I in this moment? My tense calm somewhere in

  636. between. And as you listen this morning

  637. for the first time, I want to invite you to allow the words of

  638. this verse to just wash over you.

  639. You might begin to imagine what's being described in your

  640. mind, almost as if it's playing on a movie screen.

  641. I'll pause after each reading for a moment of silent

  642. reflection. I'm going to read Zephaniah

    Zephaniah 3 chapter mention

  643. chapter 3 and verse 17, which says the Lord your God is in

  644. your midst, a mighty one who will save.

  645. He will rejoice over you with gladness.

  646. He will quiet you by His love. He will exult over you with loud

  647. singing.