19th June 2022 Infill Service - Dave Food - The World needs a Father

I'm a bit taller than Juliet, so just let me like an adjustment there

morning, everybody. Great to be with you, Great to be with those

people online. I saw some new faces that I were not faces because I

didn't see your face, but I saw some new IP addresses that I didn't

recognize. So welcome to some new visitors who have joined us today. Wherever

in the world you are, please do reach out to us, stay in

contact. It'd be great to be with you. As we remember Father's Day

today, I want to start in our theme of discipleship. The world needs

a father. The world needs a father. Do you know how I can

say this because we all feel like we need a father, even for those

people who don't know who their father is. Julia and I from time to

time and watch those programs where people go and research their heritage where they've come

from. They want to go and find things out. And there's something deeply

inherent within us where we need to know. We want to know who we

are, and we are a product of our parents' DNA, and so consequently

we look like our mom or our dad. Think about a baby that you

know and how his comments go, oh, doesn't he look like Mum.

And then as they grow up, oh doesn't he look a bit like Dad?

And then hair color and lots of things. And so people are hungry

to know where they've come from. And that as in physicality, so in

spirituality. So God's designed in us that need to know our father. And

so when I talk about the need of a father, I'm not just talking

about our biological parents, about our biological dad, but we need fathering.

Actually, I believe the world las fathering. There are not enough fathers stepping

up to be who God's called us to be. And I'm using fatherhood in

its broadest sense, not just about being biological fathers. You could be godfathers.

You could be uncles. What's is in an African saying that says it

takes a village to bring up a child, you know, and I could

say the same it takes wider family. It takes a church to bring up

a child. For a child who's in church, then actually the church has

a bit of a responsibility. If you don't believe me, let me ask

you this question. Let's say you were in the church building and one of

the children of one of the church members was writing on the wall in the

toilet or in a room that you'd probably say, don't do that. You

wouldn't just sit there and watch them do it, would you? You do

something now that's not your responsibility. I love the principle of some of our

African children in church who don't have to remember people's names, so they don't

walk up to you and say hello, whatever your name is, because they

say hello auntie, hello uncle. And they have that lovely principle of everybody

in the church is an auntie or an uncle. And I love that principle

because that talks about family. That talks about that wider family. The world

needs a father. So how do I know this? Well, let's start

in some scripture in Genesis seventeen, verses four to seven, as we read

about Abram as for me, behold, my covenant is with you, and

you shall be a father of many nations. No longer shall your name be

called Abraham, but your name shall be called Abraham. For I have made

you a father of many nations. I will make you exceedingly fruitful, and

I will make nations of you, and kings shall come from you. And

I shall establish my covenant between me and you and your descendants after you in

their generation, for an everlasting covenant to be God to you and the descendants

after you. This is the promise that Abraham may Abraham. Now he talks

about generations, and Abraham's looking at reality and going, what what You're going

to make me a father of nations? Now, I think if somebody,

if you looked at your fruitfulness and thought, don't have much hair, and

then God came along and said, I'm going to make you fruitful and multiply.

And Abraham is just a typical model. And I want to talk about

models many times throughout our talk today, the model of a father, the

model of Abraham, the model of God. Because we can learn we learned

by watching and doing. Good fathers often learn the good fathering habits from their

good fathers. We can also see the negative results of that sometimes that you

know, often we learn bad habits from our fathers. I'll give you an

example of mine. Many years ago, now, probably fifteen years ago.

I was sitting there one day rubbing my nose like this, and somebody said,

oh, you're just like your dad. Apparently my dad did exactly the

same. Now that's obviously not biological, but just by watching him. I

don't know whether maybe our bodies are similar and we itch in the same place

at the same time. I don't know, but my immediate human response was,

oh, no, I'm not. Immediately took my hand down, and

every time I rub my nose. I then think about that moment now,

and it's strange because the good things about our parents, the good things,

we want to say, yes, yes, I am like him or I

am like her, But then the ones that answer good, we want to

go no, no, I'm nothing to do with him, Abraham, And

we go on to read in Genesis twenty two as Abraham was asked to be

sacrificial. So remember God had promised that he was going to be a father

of nations, and the evidence of that was in his children. And now

it came to pass after these things that God tested Abraham tested him in his

fatherhood and said to him, Abraham, and Abraham said, here I am.

Then he said, now take your son, your only son, Isaac,

whom you love, and go to the land of Mariah and offer him

there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains, on which I will

tell you. So Abraham rose early in the morning and saddled his donkey and

took two of his young men with him and Isaac his son, and he

split the wood for the burnt offering, and arose and went to the place

that God had told him his one and only son. So God spoke to

him and said, you're going to be fruitful, and then you're going to

be a father of nations. Then he has a then he has a son,

Isaac, and then he asked him to sacrifice him. Now, I

don't know what your where your faith would be at in that kind of story.

I don't know what your faith would be at in those kind of moments,

but I'd be wanting to go. Really, you want me to sacrifice

my only son, the son that you gave me, the son that's so

full of promise, and the father heart of Abraham would be no. But

he recognized the father, the father, his father, and so he said,

okay, I will take him, and I will prepare the sacrifice.

And he went all the way to getting ready to light almost to get ready

to light the wood. And then what does God do? God provides a

lamb. God provides the sacrifice. This is the story that we know so

well that God sent his one and only son. The ultimate Father made the

ultimate fact sacrifice and sent his one only son, so that the price that

we pay for sin and death has been paid in the sacrificial lamb of Christ.

So we can see both in Abraham and in Father God provision and fathering.

So let's think a little bit about our fatherhood and our fathering responsibility.

And I want to draw this in its broadest sense. So please, ladies,

don't take this away and think this is just for the men. You

know, there's a responsibility in all of us as parents and as aunties as

well, that we care for one another. And so when we read in

Ephesians chapter six, verse four, and you, fathers, do not provoke

your children to wrath, but bring them up in training and admonition of the

Lord. Anybody ever tried winding up a little It's very easy to do.

Let's press a few buttons and yeah, now, if we're having a little

bit of teasing, that's kind of fun. But when it becomes a habit

and you make promises and let them down, and make promises and let them

down, and make promises and let them down. I read in a book

called The Heart of Success by Rob Parsons, who writes for Care for the

Family. He wrote many times about how fathers particularly promised to be at their

sons or daughter's football or netball matches, and as they promise, and then

they don't turn up, and they promise and they don't turn up, and

they promise and they don't turn up. And he tells this wonderful story in

the book where a father rings up his son and says, son, I'm

sorry, I can't make the football match, and his son said to him

on the phone, he said, well, that was what I expected,

because that's what's happened every week for the last X number of years. And

it really bit into the father's father's heart as he thought, what have I

modeled with my What have I taught my son. I've taught my son that

my word is unreliable. I've taught my son that my promises are not good.

I've taught my son that I don't care. And these are all things

that are not of the father heart of God. So we have to be

careful about the things that we promise. If we say to a child,

I'll be there, then we need to be there. Okay, there are

circumstances from time to time. But it's better not to promise if you're uncertain.

Maybe hold back on the promise and say I'll do what I can,

or I've got an important meeting on that day, so I may not be

able to make it, rather than promise and then let the child down,

because children remember these things. One of the most persistent conversations I have with

people is a conversation that goes something like this, Well, I prayed and

God didn't hear my prayer. And said, what evidence do you give me

that the Father is not listening? And I said, well, the prayer

has not been answered. And I said, how do you know? And

they say to me, well, I prayed for this and it didn't happen.

I said, but what was the purpose in your prayer? So they

were praying for money to be provided or for something, and then I can

turn them, and many times I can point them to but it's already been

provided, but just not the way you expected. The bill's gone away,

the requirement's gone away, the pressure has gone away. And so the father

looks on, and he looks on, and he wants us to grow,

and he wants us to be In Colossians three, twenty one. Fathers do

not provoke your children lest they become discouraged. Another scripture talks about hope deferred

makes hope deferred makes the heart sick. And I've actually used that. He's

a really interesting thought that, well, it's interesting to me anyway. I've

been working with a software company, not the one I currently work for.

I've been working with a software provider and they kept on promising me things.

And it was a Christian software company. And after a period of six months

where they promised and not done it, promised and not done it, promised

and not done it, I sent them the scripture and said, you know

what, my heart is sick. My heart is sick because you promised me,

and you promised me, and you promised me again. I said,

I'd rather you'd have said it would take six months than to have promised me

in a week and then a week, because every time I was excited,

waiting, Okay, this solution is coming, and it didn't come, and

I went on a roller coaster ride, a little roller coaster ride of excitement

and expectation and disappointment and excitement and expectation and disappointment. Fathers do not provoke

your children unless they become discouraged. And this can be a call to all

of us that's not cause discouragement in those who are growing up in the Lord.

In Matthew chapter six, it says this verse one, as we read

about this is the precursor to the Lord's prayer, and it says this,

take heed that you do not that you you do not do your charitable deeds

before men to be seen by them, otherwise you will have no reward from

your father in heaven. It's very easy to become people pleasers when we're looking

at oh, look look at what I'm doing, and you can see it.

Sometimes you can see it in children and when they learn it, they

often learned it from their parents. As I remember when I was in manor

Cross School in assemblies, and sometimes the children will walk up to do something

in a show and they got some script to deliver, and their first response

was to look out into the audience to see whether mummy and Daddy could see

them. And then once they then they waved the mummy and daddy and then

they deliver their few lives. But they wanted mummy and Daddy to see them.

Now, I guess some of that's that that that's important. But you

know it's very easy to model. Can people see what I'm doing? Look

what I'm doing. We read on in Matthew, chapter six, verse four,

Chapter six, verse four, that your charitable deeds may be in secret,

and that the father who sees in secret will in himself reward you properly

openly. And then what does it go on to say? And it's interesting

that these to script, these two verses that I've just read to you,

they can before how should we pray? But when you pray, go into

your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your father,

who is in a secret place. And your father, who sees in

secret, will reward you openly. And when you pray, do not use

vain, repetitious words as the Heathens do, for they will be heard for

their many words. Therefore, do not be like them. For your father

those the things you have been before you ask him in this manner. Therefore,

pray our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom.

Come, Your will be done on earth as in heaven. Give us today

our daily bread, and forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who

as we forgive our debtors, and do not lead us into temptation, but

deliver us from the evil one, for yours is the kingdom and the power

and the glory forever and ever. Amen. No, this is this is

as Jesus was asked how to pray? And what did he say? Our

father, not my father, not your father, our father who art in

heaven hallowed for your name. And it's a great prayer. I'd encourage you.

I've done this a number of times over the years where I've actually just

used the template of the Lord's prayer as a springboard for how I should pray.

And that's all. I prayed, just that one prayer in my prayer

time for weeks on end sometimes. But I paused at the end of every

sentence. I said, what does it mean to hallow your name? What

does it mean to be forgiven of our sins? What does it mean that

you know? And immediately things came to my mind of maybe where I hadn't

forgiven others, maybe where I had stuff to deal with. So please don't

end up talking. I mean, as I just literally read, don't spend

all the time talking to God. Spend quite a bit of time listening and

pausing. You know, the sign of a good father is, in my

opinion, is sometimes there is silence between the son and their children, and

the children are a little that's challenging, but you know, silence is a

thing that's squeezed out of our world. I can't I can think of any

times where children I've been with parents and they've come down for breakfast and the

first thing the parents did was switch the television on, and then as they

could should have been talking over breakfast, you know, there was the television

setting the agenda for the day. I just thought I'd really rather set my

own agenda rather than allow the TV to set the agenda for the day.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with particularly with TV or with radio, but

when it becomes a pacifier or an alternative parent, we've got to pay attention.

We've got to pay attention. So father's the world needs fathers. In

one John three, verses one to three, it says this, look with

wonder at the depth of the father's marvelous love that he has lavished on someone

else. This is the passion translation, look with wonder at the depth of

the father's marvelous luck he has lavished on us. He has called us and

made us his very own beloved children. The reason the world doesn't recognize who

we are is that they don't recognize him. You know, if you looked

at it, I've given you that, that genetic picture of a child looking

like their father. You know, if you've never seen the father, you

can't say whether the child looks like the father or not. In the same

way, people can look at us and say there's something different about you.

But actually, if they don't know anything about the father, then our testimony

becomes so important. We become the signposts to others. We become the signpost

back to God. I'm loving you, I'm sharing with you, I'm caring

for you because He first loved me. And he goes on to say,

beloved, we are God's children. And right now, however, it is

not yet apparent what we will become. But we do know that when it

is finally made visible, we will be just like him, for we will

see him as he truly is, and all who focus their hope on him

will always be purifying themselves. Just as Jesus is pure. We don't make

ourselves pure. It's God that sanctifies us. Through Christ. And yeah,

I could think of many examples where I've not felt as clean as I should

have done. And it's not by washing my hands, it's not by cleansing

my thoughts. It's by coming back to God and saying sorry and repenting for

the wrong mindset. I think good fathers actually reflect the father heart of God,

and so good fathers need to be plugged into God. They need to

be sharing something of God. They need to be growing themselves like we all

need to grow. In John seventeen, verse twenty four, it says,

this, Father, I desire that they also, whom you gave me,

may be with me where I am, that they may behold my glory which

you may be given for me, for you loved me before the foundation of

the world. Now fathers love their children before they're born, because there's been

a bump, and the bumpers grow, and I can think of a young

child now is just coming up to one who I know quite well, whose

father I know used to talk to the bump expectation comes and he goes on

in verse twenty six and says this, and I have declared to them your

name and will declare it that the love with which you have loved me,

may be in them and I in them. And it's something a passing on

the love of God, passing on the love of God to others, both

from a father to a son, but also to other children, to other

blessed believers. Let's show the love of God. Let's share the love of

God. Let's be the love of God, both as fathers, but as

mothers, as aunties, as uncles, as a church. Because I want

my heart to be glad? Is your heart glad? Psalm sixteen, verse

nine says this, Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices.

My flesh also will rest in hope. There's a great strength and being able

to go forward and say, do you know what? My hope is in

him? Not my hope, maybe in him. My hope is in him.

And once we have a secured hope, do you know what it changes

the way we live and walk our lives. And in verse eleven, it

says, you will show me the path of life. In your presence is

the fullness of joy. At your right hand are pleasures forevermore. You will

show me the right path. That's a great job for parents, great job

for fathers. Show your son, your daughter the right path, show others

the right path. If you're an auntie and uncle, godfather or godmother,

show that your god children and your children the right path. And do you

know those children will look and model and copy us. So it's not times

just what we say, it's also what we do and why do we do

this? Well? In one John four nineteen it says this we love him

because he first loved us. I wonder if that's true for us as fathers.

We love him our father because he first loved us. And can we

look beyond our earthly fathers and look to a heavenly father and say we love

him because he first loved us. Now, I think there's a real battle

going on for fatherhood. I think there's a real emasculation that goes on around

fathering. And we do fatherhood injustice by starting to say it's all the same.

I think the authority of a father and the love of a mother,

those come together to bring a balance that I think is passionate. And and

I don't know whether you know your dad, your earthly dad. There there

might be people who are listening to what I'm sharing today and say, well,

it's all right for you, Dave, you knew your dad, and

they might be people say, well, I knew my dad, but I

didn't like him. Well, let's not look at God the way we looked

at our earthly parents, because sometimes they aren't good models or weren't good models.

But I think there's a battle for fatherhood. And if there's a battle

for fatherhood, then there's a battle for father ring. And there are a

lot of men who are looking for fathers and guys we can take our place

in that disciple mentor care for coach and show them the way to be like

God, to be like Jesus as God would ask us to be. And

I want to see some breakthroughs today. So I've got a particular song that

I don't want to say. You can sing along with it if you like

it. We have the song we haven't sung for a while as a friend

of mine who leads a church in Canada, who leads a song, but

it's titled I'm going to See a Victory. And I just want to sing

this because I want to believe that there would be breakthrough today in the space

of fathering for people who are struggling to be dads or uncles, that you

might find a breakthrough for people who are struggling to see God the way he

should be seen because of a mismatch or a misview of how you saw your

earthly father. I hope that there will be some focusing, some zooming in

some lenses that will apply to your life. That will mean that we can

see breakthrough in the victory. So I'm gonna ask in a moment, and

he's going to play this. I'm going to turn the microphone off. Let's

just sit and let's If you want to sing along to the song, that's

absolutely fine. But I just believe that one of the things the fathering comes

is that we see victory over wrong, we see victory over disquiet, we

see victory over loss of destiny, we see victory over confusion. So let's

play this song.