Parenting: You can do it, we can help

Welcome to Church of the Crossing. My name is Andrew. I'm the associate

teaching pastor here and this is Jordan, our children's pastor. He's joining me

today because we're celebrating some fun things that happened this weekend. On Friday night

here in this space that we're in right now, there were hundreds of young

girls, young ladies, their moms and grandmothers, all celebrating what it means

to be a godly woman who follows Jesus. And so, Jordan, can

you tell us a little bit about what we are celebrating from the True Girl

event. So Friday night, we had over five hundred moms and daughters in

this room sitting in seats in a lot more seats then you're in. And

number one, they were learning about how they're valued. And we had a

few girls actually accept Jesus for the first time, and so that's a big

thing. And we also part of Church of the Crossing is we want to

make sure that you belong to community that we serve, and we had over

eighty volunteers serve for this event. It was a long day and it was

so good, and so we're celebrating that for sure. Today is going to

be a little bit different than our typical teaching and message. Typically, if

you're new this is your first time. Typically myself or our senior Pastor James

would share a message. But today I'm gonna be helping teach with Jordan,

and our youth pastor, Pastor David is also gona be joining us in a

little bit because we're talking about the topic of parenting. The title of today's

message is called parenting. You can do it and we can help. Now

you may know that my wife and I are expecting our first baby. Our

baby boy is due in January, and I've got a lot of questions.

I don't know what I don't know, and so I've brought along my dad

hat because I need to learn how to be a parent. Now you may

be wondering, well, how can Andrew talk about parenting he's not a parent

yet. Well, that is true. I do have more than ten years

of experience as a youth pastor working with families and parents and children, but

more than that student of God's word, and so today I'm not gonna be

giving parenting advice. Pastor Jordan's not gonna be giving parenting advice. All of

us together are gonna sit under the Word of God and we're gonna learn from

the Father. And I want to say that this message is for everyone,

even if you don't have children of your own, even if your children are

raised, there is something in this message for all of us to learn today,

because all of us, if you belong at Church of the Crossing,

you have a part to play in showing the Father's love to the next generation.

And that's the big idea today. Show the Father's love to the next

generation. A role model can do that, a mentor can do that,

A parent, a grandparent can show the Father's love. Now, for most

of my life, I've been asked the question when are you gonna have kids?

Lauren and I have been married almost ten years, and as soon as

we said I do and we walked down the aisle, the next question was

when are you gonna have kids? And then I've heard questions like do you

even want to have kids? Or or are you unable to have kids?

All sorts of questions. Now, I don't know what your personal story has

been like. I don't know what your journey has been like. Maybe you've

been asked those questions, maybe those type of questions trigger something inside of you.

Whatever your family background is, I want to say that you are loved

and your family is valuable in the eyes of God. I know there are

some parents who want to have children and they're not able to. There are

some families who grieve the loss, the tragic loss of a child. And

I know many parents who are single parents and step parents and parents have adopted

children raising their kids. We all have unique and different families. And whatever

your family looks like, your family is loved by God. And so I've

been asked that question, when are you having kids? And Lorden and I

would often say, well, we're talking about talking about having kids this spring.

Just a few months ago, on May tenth, I was taking a

personal day of solitude and prayer to be with the Lord. And so I

went down to Morgan Monroe State Park and I went for a hike and spent

the whole day in prayer talking to the Lord and it was just a beautiful

time of his kindness and his grace where we talked about my future. We

talked about my education, my ministry, and one of the things the Lord

and I talked about that day was our family. And I felt the Holy

Spirit, just give me this peace and confidence in this desire. That day

I decided, yes, I want to have a child, whether that's adopted

or biological, I want to have a child like God just put that.

I even wrote that down in my prayer journal and you can you can see

this picture. I took this picture. I wrote that down May tenth,

twenty three, I want to have a child. Six days later, on

May sixteenth, we find out that Lauren is pregnant with our first baby.

I had no idea on May tenth that I would find out the very next

week that I'm having a baby. So I truly believe that our baby is

a gift from God, and we have this strong desire to raise him to

know Jesus. Now I don't I don't know what I don't know, and

I need a lot of help today. And so that's what we're going to

be exploring, is how can we show the Father's love to the next generation.

And like I said earlier, even if you're not a parent, there's

a message here for you today because the culture is trying to distract the next

generation from Jesus. The world wants to steal away our children and their hearts

and minds from following Jesus, and so we the church have a responsibility and

a privilege to show them the way of Jesus. So even if you don't

have a parent, if a child, if you belong to church at the

crossing, you have a role to play in showing the Father's love to the

next generation. And I believe that this message today there is something for every

single one of us. Whether you're a grandparent or a parent, or a

single person, there's something in this message for you, because I believe that

the Father wants to remind you that you are his child. If your faith

and your trust is in Jesus, that means you are a son of God.

You are a daughter of God. He has brought you into your family.

Your life, you've probably had a lot of different titles. You've been

called the boss, or the employee, or student or teacher, coach,

all these different things, physician, attorney, whatever your title has been.

But your title does not define your identity as a child of God. You

are his son, you are his daughter if your faith is in Jesus.

First John chapter three tells us, see what great love the Father has lavished

on us, that we should be called children of God. And that is

what we are. This is who you are in Christ. When Jesus died

on the cross, he paid the price for all of your sins. And

when he rose from the dead, he rose in victory so that you can

have eternal life. Jesus's death and resurrection has eliminated everything that blocks you from

the Father, eliminated all the brokenness, all the baggage, all the shame,

so that you can have a perfect relationship with God, the Father.

You are his child, You are his son, you are his daughter.

And so today I want all of us to be reminded of the Father's love

that he has for us. So as we get started today, going to

begin by hearing from Pastor David. Pastor David is our youth pastor, and

he's joining us on video today because he's actually right now out of state,

sharing and teaching at a youth convention for hundreds of high school and middle school

students. And I just think the fact that he's there leading that is a

testimony that we are blessed with such a great youth pastors called by God to

help show the Father's love to the next generation. So let's hear what Pastor

David has to say on video. Hey everybody, David here man. I'm

super bummed that I can't be there with you guys in person. I'm actually

a way. I'm speaking at a youth convention in Oklahoma, and that's super

cool. But I'm sad that I'm missing with you guys, because out of

all the Sundays, this is a topic that I get really passionate about,

that I get really excited about. And it's because that I truly believe that

our families are the single most discipleship factor in our lives. Like parents,

you know this. You know that no one tests you and grows you quite

as much as your own kids, right, Like sometimes you'd rather deal with

other kids than your own kids because your kid's disciple and grow you and your

faith and and walk with christ. Kids, You're gonna never know the impact

that your parents have, not just on your life, but on your faith.

Our families are discipleship vehicles for our lives. And I think Christians and

non Christians know the value of our families. Like my kids love the show

Bluey, and they love the show Blue because of the significance of the family

unit. We all have a part and showing the father's love to the next

generation. And that's actually our big idea for this whole message this morning,

is that we're called to show the father's love to the next generation. Now,

every one of you has a part in this. This isn't just for

parents. Now, parents, you do have a role in showing the father's

love to the next generation your own kids. But kids, you guys also

have a role in showing the father's love to one another, your siblings,

and then to other kids around you. Grandparents, you guys have a role

in showing the father's love to the next generation of your kids and then their

kids and so on. And if you're sitting in the audience right now and

you're like, but I don't have any kids, My family's not here right

now, you have a role in this church body to show the Father's love

to the next generation. Now, I know that God wants to use every

single one of us in our families, and so I'm excited for God's Word

to dig into this and to talk about this. I encourage you just to

prepare your heart and your mind as we dive into the word. This Morning's

David, there's a well known Bible verse that we're going to read together.

I've often heard this quoted. I've heard many parents memorize this verse. And

this is Proverbs twenty two, verse six. Would you read this with me?

It says, train up a child in the way he should go,

even when he is old, he will not depart from it. Now,

this verse encourages us to train up children to follow God, to show them

the way of God so that they know as adults how to follow God and

how to obey God. Now there's a shadow side to this Bible verse.

There's a dark side to this Bible verse, and it has to do with

something I call parent shaming. Because there are some parents who have raised their

children, They've taken them to church, they've prayed for their children, they've

shared Bible stories with their child, they've shown them how to be Christians,

and somewhere along the way, their child decided to walk away from the faith,

or stop following Jesus, or doesn't believe in God anymore. And so

those parents who are heartbroken when they read this verse, they feel a little

bit of shame, They feel a little bit disappointed, They feel like they

have failed because their child is not in the faith any longer. And so

today, if you're a parent and you feel that shame, I want to

tell you that today, in the name of Jesus, we break off that

spirit of shame. We break off that lie that you are a failure and

that you've failed your children, because that is not what this verse is saying.

I want to demystify what this verse is talking about out because this verse

first, it's a wisdom saying. It's not a command with a promise.

Some people might misinterpret this and say, oh, if I just take my

child to church, if I make sure my little one is in Jordan's Children's

ministry, then they're just gonna grow up and be good Christians. No,

it's not a command with a promise. Not a command with a promise.

This verse says, look closely, train up a child in the way he

should go. It doesn't say the way he will go. It doesn't say

this is the way they will choose to go. It's the way they should

go. Yes, it's the way, the right way, it is the

path of God. It's the way they should go. But it's no guarantee

that it's the path they will choose to go. One scholar and theologian writes

this, this verse sounds like a promise, but a proverb does not give

a promise. It is much more likely that a child will be a responsible

adult if trained in the right path. However, there is also the possibility

that the child might come under the negative influence of peers or be let astray

in some other way. The point is that this proverb encourages parents to train

their children, but does not guarantee that if they do so, their child

will never stray. This verse is not a command with a promise, this

versus a wisdom saying. And so if we want to show the father's love

to the next generation, the first point that we learn from this verse is

pursue influence, not control. Pursue influence and not control, because influence is

different from control. Proverbs twenty two, verse six says, train up a

child. Training is not control. Training is influence. Influence is coaching,

developing, encouraging, supporting, guiding. That's what training is. And you

cannot control your children. We can't control the next generation parents, grandparents.

You can't control your child's behavior, their actions, their decisions, But you

can influence. And if you're not a parent. You can be a positive

influence in the life of a child, pointing them to Jesus, showing them

the father's love. I want us to look again at Proverbs twenty two,

verse six. The word train up comes from a Hebrew word, and this

Hebrew word is kanok. Everybody say kannak, kannak, and it means to

train, to dedicate, to lead. In other places, kannak can mean

to describe like leading a horse with a guide rope or leading someone on a

path. That's the definition of kannak. It's like influence. Now there's a

second Hebrew word that's very similar to kannak. See kanok in Proverbs twenty two,

verse six. It is spelled ccha nak. There's a second Hebrew word

that is spelled ccha naq, and it's pronounced kannak. But it means to

strangle. This is not the word used in Proverbs twenty two say because Provers

twenty two six is not saying that we control our children or spiritually smother them

and control them and pressure them. No, we train them, we guide

them, we encourage them. Pursue influence, not control. Parents have influence.

Small group leaders have influence. Older siblings have influence. My mom was

here this week in visiting us from out of state, and if you asked

my mom, I'm sure she would tell you that when I was growing up,

she had no control over me. She had no control over most of

my decisions, but she did have influence in my life. My mom is

the one who took me to church. My mom is the one who taught

me how to read the Bible. My mom is the one who showed me

how to pray. She influenced me, and I like to believe that I

influenced her robust prayer life. I've had a father who's been a positive influence.

I have a step mom who's been an encouragement and of support. I

know that she prayed. I've had people who influenced me. So wherever you're

at, you can be an influence. Jordan, can you share a little

bit more about what it looks like to form positive influence. It's kind of

a word that if we think big picture, like national influence, one voice

kind of influence. It's changed a lot over time. I mean, obviously

influence started with writing. The people had conversations, they would write about things,

and then if you think national influence. Then there was this thing called

the radio, and I love hearing stories. Maybe you in this room remember

maybe sitting in your grandparents' rooms and listening to a radio show. And that's

kind of how influence started worldwide, like loud loud influence. And then it

became television, and television started to influence the family. We had shows like

The Brady Bunch and we had to leave it to Beaver Full House. All

these kind of shows that started to influence families. Now that's not the kind

of influence we want to talk about, because you know what has turned into

influence has turned into a word called influencer. And on social media there is

these twenty something peoples talking about stuff that they say they're experts in when they

never leave their house. They think they're giving you all this wisdom. And

what we're here to say is listen, nobody is better than anybody. When

it becomes to influence, we are able to speak life into each other through

Jesus. That's how we have influence. What we want to talk about when

we get into parenting is parenting is natural because God ordained you. If you're

in this room and you're a parent, God ordains you at that time and

that moment to embrace a little one into your life. That is influence.

See says parenting is natural and divinely appointed role. It comes with both a

gift and a responsibility. So when you become a parent, you're embracing this

child, but you also realize that this is a gift from God, and

now you have a responsibility to influence. And we can talk all day about

how we as parents have to influence, but we also have to realize that

those around your child will influence them. See. I see this every day

here at ECC and our preschool. We have this preschool that has hundreds of

kids that come in every day and parents literally are walking these two and three

year old kids hand in hand. And here is what is being said without

being said. As they are bringing their child into our front doors. They're

saying, I trust these people. I don't only trust these people with my

with my child, I trust them with their safety. I trust that they're

gonna get food for the day. I trust that they're gonna have their diapers

changed. I trust that. I also trust that the people here are gonna

be able to speak life into my kids' lives. I trust that they're gonna

teach them spiritually. I trust that they're gonna walk with them. I trust

the things that are being said are true. I trust that the things that

are being done are good. That goes farther beyond these walls. So when

you are a parent and you walk your kids to a ball field, you're

trusting that coach. So it makes me, as a parent, begin to

ask questions. Are the words coming out of that coach is mouth the words

I want instilled in my kids' lives. When you take your daughter to the

dance studio and she sees this role model of a dancer, is that the

person you want them influenced by. See, influence is a big thing and

it's a great responsibility. And so that's why when we say we want you

to have influence, we're saying we need you to have influence. But with

influence is responsibility. And as a parent, I'm learning I want outside influences

in my kids' lives. Because here's the deal. I can repeat to my

especially two teenagers, one hundred times, the fact that they need to do

certain things. Andrew says, at one time, it's like a light bulb

went off it's the best thing ever, the best idea ever. I didn't

hear from Dad, but I hear it for somebody else, And so I

want to trust people to have influence in my kids' lives. It also goes

far beyond that of I want the small group leaders in our youth group to

have influence in my kids' lives. I want my kids to grow up in

a place that influences them. And I get asked all the time as a

kid's pastor, well, what about the things that you can't be with them

at so in school? What if they're going to hang out with that kid.

Well, first of all, some of us we are that kid's parent.

But second of all, what I love to say is you can't control

what you can't control. When my kids are at school every day, I

can't control who they're hanging out with. But all I can do as a

parent is to depend that the values I'm instilling in them at an early age

are going to walk with them. You know, influence goes far beyond that

too. For some of you in the room mentioned earlier. You may be

in an older generation, maybe you have grandkids or great grandkids. We need

you to have influence. There's some statistics that have just came out recently I

want to share with you real quick. So it's the study that Barna is

doing on the stat of who says they're Christians versus how much they go to

church and when they go to church, and what percentage they go to church.

So our silent generation. So if you're born nineteen twenty eight to nineteen

forty five, eighty four percent of this generation say they're Christians, sixty one

percent go to church. Baby Boomers so nineteen forty six to nineteen sixty four,

seventy six percent say they're Christians, forty nine percent go to church.

Generation X so sixty five to eighty sixty seven percent go to church, or

sixty seven believe they're Christians, forty six go to church. Then Millennials forty

nine percent say they're Christians, thirty five percent are going to church. Here's

the problem we have. Here's the thing that we can work on together.

These right now are the majority of our parents. So you and an older

generation, we I'm in this generation. We need your help. We need

you to walk through and help us and influence us, just as we're trying

to influence our kids. We need you to influence our kids, but we

also need influence from you because we know that parenting's hard. I sat down

with Pastor Clinton a few weeks ago at lunch and I was just talking about,

man, I'm struggling with this and I didn't know middle school boys were

drama, and I sure didn't know high school boys were drama. And I

thought I got three boys. I thought I didn't have to deal with drama.

And he's like, first, you know, good luck, that's good

expectations, but that's not the truth. Second, I was describing some problems

I was having. He said, have you ever thought that at some point

you're gonna have to have a shift from a father figure to a coach figure

because you can coach for the rest of your life. I was like,

Wow, that's really good. I needed that at that I needed somebody to

influence me. We need you to influence us. So it takes all of

us working together. Last week I was able to be able to have the

privilege to do my NaN's funeral. If you don't know what a nan is,

and NaN's a good Kentucky term for a grandma, and my nan was

the matriarchy of our family spiritual leader. I remember going to her church was

so important to her. Going to church and this pastor where she went would

preach for like three hours, but then it was the best food after the

best food ever. But I remember that, I remember her instilling that that

value was there, that even when I was visiting, I was going to

church, and I remember her always talking about Jesus. And it turns out

at this funeral, I was just like, wow, man, her influence

on a whole holler in Kentucky was huge. But my mom shared a story

just last week with me that my grandma would pray for her kids and her

grandkids and her great grandkids every night. Do you know that that is some

of the best influence I felt in a long time, because I know,

here's the deal. The last two weeks of my grandma's life, very she

wasn't she wasn't there. She just was not able to talk, not able

to do a lot. My mom would tell the story of how she would

hear her mumbling in the middle of the night, and she knew she was

praying for her, She knew she was praying for her grandkids. Every now

and then she would say a kid's name. That is the influence that we

need for our kids, this next generation to follow Jesus Andrew. Yeah,

thanks Jordan. We can be an influence in the next generation. And that

really comes from friendships. And so that's the second point in today's messages.

Provide opportunities for godly friendships. Godly friendships can help shape the character and the

conduct and the behavior and the quality of the next generation. Notice what Proverbs

thirteen twenty says, walk with the wise and become wise. For a companion

of fools suffers harm. Who you hang out with is who you become like.

And that's so much more true for younger students, teenagers, in children.

When I was growing up, I was at church every day of the

week. I'm not exaggerating every day the week I was at the church.

The church was just down the street from where I lived, so I didn't

even need a ride. I would walk to church. In the summers,

I'd be there all day. In the school year. After school, i'd

walk up to church and I'd spend time with my children's pastor or the youth

pastor there. And there were some other students that would come over after high

school and basically, I became like an unpaid intern in middle school in high

school, just doing church things and youth ministry things. And it was a

safe place for me because at home, when my parents were getting their divorce

and they were fighting and arguing, home wasn't always a fun place to be,

but I could be at this place where people loved me at church,

and I had friendships there. Some of my best friendships even to this day

are from those formative years when I would spend so much time at church.

And even though at that time my parents were arguing and they had their disagreements

and their differences and all that trauma was happening in our family, there was

one thing that both of my parents made sure that I was at church.

They never denied me an opportunity to go to church, or to go on

a trip or do an activity with church. Because those friendships are so important.

And so you can help provide godly friendships by being a small group leader

in the youth program here or the children's ministry here. We have a group

from our church that goes into many public schools here in Washington Township each week

with a program called Teach One to Lead One, where people from our church

are mentoring and helping at risk students grow in their leadership. That's what it

looks like to provide godly friendships. And so we're going to hear from Pastor

David now on videos he talks about godly friendships. Hey, thanks Andrew.

Yeah, friendships are one of the topics that I love to dive into the

most. And the reason for that is I like to think of friendships as

creating good soil in our lives, like we see in the parable of the

seed being thrown out on all various different types of soil, and some of

it takes root and some of it doesn't. I think good friendships create an

environment for our kids to take root, and so I think it's important for

us as parents to be conscious of who our kids's friends are, not to

the point of overregulation, but to the point of knowledge and connection and conversation

with our kids about who their friends are and how those friendships remain healthy.

And I actually encourage friendships in two different spheres in our kids' lives. The

first one is obvious. I encourage friendships in the church that I think we

as a church are a church body and we're a family, and the significance

of that is that we should have strong, bound friendships in our own church.

Now, the thing is is that as a family that requires intentionality,

you can't just show up and do the minimum and expect for healthy friendships to

be formed and your kids' lives, much less your own. You have to

become part of the community and find a sense of belonging here. And so

the more you invest, the more you connect in groups and community, the

more you serve and meet other people who do the same, you're gonna find

that friendships flourish and connections grow. And that's significant not just for your life,

but for your kids's lives. And then secondly, I always encourage friendships

outside of the church. That if we're gonna be the people that God has

called us to be, we're not supposed to just live in a holy huddle

with our friendships here at the church. But we're supposed to connect and build

friendships with people outside of here. And the reason for that is to point

people to Jesus. And so how are we encouraging our kids to build friendships

outside of the church. And sometimes those can be tough because your kid might

not say might come home and say, hey, that person doesn't believe the

same things as me, but to some degree, that's the purpose of those

friendships. That if we're going to live out our role and what God has

called us to be in our world, that we're called to engage in friendships

and connections outside of our own church. And so I encourage you to think

through what are those friendships in your kids' lives and how can you continue to

host conversation for those friendships to flourish. So let's get practical for a minute.

So our third point today is protect what you can give when you can,

and pray for everything. It's time to get practical and these are things

that we can do. We have to learn that we have to protect,

we have to give, and man, we got to be praying. So

there's things that we can protect. So as we get into some nitty gritty.

You can protect the access to your kids internet on their phones. You

can you can protect when you're gonna give them a phone. You can determine

the age when it's appropriate for them to watch certain things and you're gonna have

those battles. You can decide who your kids hang out with after school.

You can decide who you're giving influence to. You can establish guidelines where they're

allowed to go, when they're allowed to go, and who they're allowed to

stay with. We have arguments in our house all the time. Why can't

I stay at that person's house? Why can't I go with this person?

Did you know that this person is allowed to do that? You can decide

when you need to do it. You can't protect your children from everything in

life. The world is dangerous, it's full of sin. But you can

help walk with them through their failures and mistakes and have some times a discussion.

Proverbs three eleven through twelve says this, my son, do not despise

the Lord's discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines

those he loves as a father, the son he delights in. See discipline

is biblical, and biblical discipline is loving. See notice the verse says,

the Lord disciplines those he loves as the father he delights in. We give

correction and discipline out of love because we delight in our children. For me

and my wife, we've had to learn that, Okay, we're gonna have

three boys. We know some of the problems they're going to go through in

life, So we want to set them up for success by making some guidelines

early. And so at an early age, we thought it was pretty simple

that we realized our kids were staring at all sorts of things. So when

we would walk through a mall, we'd realize that they would want to stare

in stores and observe all kinds of things. So we made a role.

When they walked past that Victoria Secret store, their eyes would always look away.

Do you know what, sixteen years later my son does after just telling

him a few years. It's a natural habit because it was a learned discipline

early. We try to realize that we say, hey, we don't want

to do this because you're a Davis and I expect you to do more and

be better, not because I don't want you're doing that because I love you

so much I don't want you to do that. We have to remember that

while protection is vital, we can get caught up and over protecting, and

so we have to learn to give. Over the last few weeks, I've

learned that I say no sometimes to my kids, just to say no.

You may find yourself in that boat every now and then, but I've realized

that I'll say no and really don't have a good reason. So we have

to learn to give. You have to learn to give in. And what

I'm learning is as I give in with the little things, I'm given more

grace when it comes to the big things and I say no Because they're learning

to trust, and trust is so important. We also have to learn that

we have to be able to Number one is probably the biggest part is we

have to be praying for our kids. They're going through a lot of stuff

and we have to be praying for them. Matthew nineteen thirteen says, then

people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on and pray

for them. We have to be praying for our children daily. If you're

not a parent, pray for your grandchildren and your children you have influence on.

If you're a small group leader in the church, pray for those kids

in your group. Pray for your neighbor's kids. Pray for that mom in

the store when you see her and you know she's been through some stuff that

day, Pray for her. Pray for the groups in this church. You

belong to this place because and we because God has called you here, and

we are a place that has a whole plethora of families and we all need

Jesus. Our lifestyles are so fast and our kids activities are so much that

we have to also learn to set some healthy habits. And I believe one

of the big ones we can help do is time. You know, we're

learning in this season. If we can control a little bit of time,

we feel so much better. So this week in my life, it's Grand

Nationals Week for band. I know my time is going to be valuable because

it's going to be spent everywhere. My son is going to need to have

extra practices and I'm sure they're going to be late practices and they're not going

to get done on time. And I know this next Saturday night, I'm

going to be at Lucas Oil till two am. I just know that's what's

going to happen. It's been like that for a few weeks and so we've

had to learn with him we need to set up some guidelines and some healthy

habits. So last week he was at Lucas Oil till two am, but

he was at church eleven fifteen. That's a non negotiable in my house.

Now I'm giving in to Yes, you can miss first service, but I'm

standing firm on you will be in church. Those are guidelines we have to

set up. We have to realize that the expectations we have for our kids

are going to follow them a long time. It also makes me realize the

words I say are so important. And so if you have a daughter in

this room and you're spending time brushing her hair in the mornings, speak loving

to her right now, and when you're doing that, talk about how she's

beautiful and she's made in God's image, because that's going to follow her the

rest of her life. College when she's doubting her self worth, she's gonna

remember you brushing your hair, and she's going to remember those words and they're

going to be in her head and they're going to go with her. We

have to set up healthy habits. So think about that, Andrew. Let's

read one more scripture that has to do with forming healthy habits and rhythms.

Look at Deuteronomy six, starting in verse six, These commandments that I give

you today are to be on your hearts, Impress them on your children,

talk about them when you sit at home, and when you walk along the

road. When you lie down and when you get up, tie them as

symbols on your hands, and bind them on your foreheads, write them on

the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. So Israelite children grew up

in a family that had rhythms and habits around God's word. They would recite

God's words. They would listen to God's word when they were walking, when

they were sitting, when they were home, and when they were about.

They would write down scriptures and the words of God and put them in phylacteries

on the wrists and on their four heads. They were saturated in the word

of God. And so this is the final point in this message today,

and that is practice healthy rhythms. Practice healthy rhythms, healthy rhythms, healthy

habits. That forms consistency. And young people desire consistency. Young people crave

dependability. And so you can help form that consistency. Even if you're not

a parent raising children in your home. You can provide that consistency by showing

up when you said you would, by following through on your commitments with young

people. When I was a youth, past dride knew a young family with

three boys. Their father's name was Alfred, and the three boys were Matthew,

Michael, and Mark. And Matthew, Michael and Mark were very talented

baseball players, and they played for their school baseball teams, and in addition

to that, they also played on their travel club teams where they would travel

to baseball tournaments on the weekends. So all months of the year they were

doing something with baseball. But because of that travel schedule, they had very

limited free time. They were traveling to other tournaments overnights. There wasn't a

lot of time for family meals, let alone time to go to church and

worship together as a family. And when I met Alfred, he was burdened

for his three boys. He was burdened for their spiritual formation that they would

grow up to become godly young men. And so Alfred prayerfully made a difficult

decision that his boys were going to continue to play for their school baseball teams,

and they were not going to keep playing for the travel teams, just

the school teams, and that freed up some time in their schedule so that

they could have family dinners, so they could have family time, and so

that they could go to church and worship together as a family. And then

Alfred made sure that his three boys were in small groups in the youth ministry

and that they were being discipled by small group leaders. And I got to

watch as a youth pastor these three boys developed into godly young men. Matthew

is now married and he owns his own sports training company. I just got

to officiate Michael's wedding this summer, and he owns a small business. And

Mark is a freshman in college. And these young boys have gone on mission

trips, they've served in the community, They've become leaders in schools and leaders

in church, and they're making a positive influence. It all started when their

dad made a decision about their formation to form a healthy rhythm. Now I'm

not picking on sports, or picking on travel teams or anything like that.

I'm just sharing a story about how one family made a specific decision for their

family. Your decision, your context, may look dramatically different. And one

of the beautiful things about that story is that Alfred the father, he also

formed a healthy rhythm in his life because he volunteered to disciple and be a

small group leader for middle school boys. So he was investing in other boys

who didn't have fathers, other boys who didn't have godly parents. I encourage

you to look at your calendar and put in strategic anchors and blocks in your

calendar. If you're raising kids, decide when are you gonna have family dinner?

When are you going to not watch TV and a movie instead interact with

each other? Choose when is your family gonna worship together? How are you

gonna serve the Lord together? Put those anchors in to your schedule. The

big idea today has been that we can show the Father's love to the next

generation. And that takes all of us, not just parents, not just

grandparents, but everyone who belongs to Church of the Crossing gets to invest in

the next generation. And I'm standing up here, and Jordan is standing up

here, and we've heard from David, and we're here sharing with you.

Not because we're experts in this, not because we figured this out and we

don't have the keys to having a perfect, perfect family. We're standing here

because there's been older generations before us that have shown God's love to us.

My mother showed me how to read the Bible and how to pray. My

father has always been there whenever I needed something. I would call my dad.

My dad's give me advice about buying a house, take care of my

call, advice about grad school. My grandfather is the one who taught me

how to manage money and work a budget. My grandmother was the one person

who had listened to me for a long time when I felt like nobody else

was listening to me. When I graduated high school and I went to college,

there were two men in my church, Wes and Bill, who loaded

up a van and drove out of state to move me into college. When

I was in college, two people from my church, Mark and bar brought

me into their home every week once a week for dinner and pastor Jaime and

Gina. They I lived with them for several years and they treated me like

family. They showed me the love of Jesus. These are just a few

of the people in my life, the older generations that have shown me what

the father's love looks like. We can show that same love to the next

generation. We can release that love into the next generation. And so,

Jordan, would you close us out and pray for us today? It's what

to remind you. You know, we've talked about all this, and I

thinks not as parents were just like, Oh, it's just so crazy.

Now, parenting is not uncontrollable, it's just very unpredictable. And the way

we get through that is when we invite God's love into us no matter what

happens. That's all we need. And so today we want to pray for

one for you as families, but too, we want to challenge you as

a church and I order for us to pour in this next generation. It's

a group effect that's going to have to happen. We've got to do it

together. So let's pray. Father, We thank you so much for this

time. Lord, We thank you for this reminder that number one, we

know man, parenting is hard. And so Lord, for every parent in

this room, Lord that's walked in here tired thinking they were getting an extra

hour sleep, but really their kids got up an hour earlier. I pray

for rest today. Lord, for ones that just feel like they just want

to give up on parenting. Lord, I pray that you be with them,

gode them, show them your love right now. And Lord, I

pray that you challenge us as a church, and we're going to partner together

to raise up this next generation. Lord, and that may be through a

hug in the lobby today to a young mom that just needs a hug,

Dad needs a pat on the back from a God. It's got a grand

think, it's got grandkids. Lord, to let that happen today. What

I pray that, as we are a church that wants to change the trajectory

of kids' lives, we wanted to be impacted by you, Lord. I

pray that you would allow us to do that right now. Or we love

you and praise you and your name. We pray Amen.