Famous Last Words: Week 3

And if you're new here, I'm so glad that you decided to be here.

Today. We're in a message series that we're calling Famous last Words,

and in this series, we're looking at the statements that Jesus made in his

final hours while he was dying on the cross. And today we're going to

look at one of those statements that's found in John chapter nineteen. But before

we turned there in the Bible, I want to share a story from my

childhood. Growing up, I had a pet dog that I loved dearly.

She was a yellow Lab that my family got when I was maybe around ten

years old. It was my first dog, my first pet. We love

to play fetch, we love to go for walks. She was full of

energy. When my parents got divorced, she was a comfort and a companion

during those difficult times. And then when I graduated high school, I moved

out of state to go to college. And while I was living out of

state, my dog got older and her health started to decline. She was

having a lot of mobility trouble and a lot of health issues. And one

day, while I was living out of state, my mom called me and

she told me that she thought it was time that to make the decision to

put my dog to sleep, and given the circumstances, I agreed that that

was the most compassionate thing that we could do. But unfortunately, at that

time, I wasn't able to make a quick trip back home on such short

notice to visit and say goodbye. And so I just after we hung up

the phone, I just kind of sat at my desk and just had a

moment where I remembered all the good memories and just kind of said thank you,

and I said goodbye to my dog. I just had a moment to

grieve that well. A few months later, I got a phone call from

my brother who lives in my hometown near my mom, and we were just

catching up and I asked him, so, how's your day going. What

are you up to And my brother said, well, I just got back

from taking the dog to the that to have her put to sleep. And

I thought, I thought, we made this decision months ago. Are you

telling me that my dog has been alive for all this time. I've already

grieved at some point I could have traveled back to say goodbye, and now

I gotta grieve all over again. Now I want to pause for a moment

and tell you that comedy is tragedy. Plus time, I look back on

that story today and I laugh about I think it's a pretty funny story.

In fact, when I share this story with a few of my close friends,

like Pastor James and Pastor Tim, they think it's a really funny,

ironic story. And so when I was preparing this message and I decided to

share this story with you, I expected more of you to laugh with me

at that story. And so now I'm thinking I probably need to maybe find

some new friends who because this is a sad story. Today we're talking about

grief. Grief is something that all of us experience at some level. Grief

is a part of the human condition. We all know the unpleasant feelings that

come with grief. We experience grief when a loved one passes away. Grief

knocks the wind out of our lungs. Grief paralyzes our strength. Grief launches

us into a long journey of loneliness, feelings of depression and anger and confusion.

And today I wonder, how have you experienced grief in your own life?

Who have you lost? What have you lost? How have you navigated

this journey of grief, and I want to tell you that although our stories

are different, although our grief may feel different from one another, the Bible

does not shy away from the human experience. The Bible does not minimize the

feelings of grief. There are many examples of grief. In fact, Psalms

thirty one reads, be merciful to me Lord, for I'm in distress,

and my eyes grow weak with sorrow, and my soul and body with grief.

Grief is a physical and emotional and spiritual experience. We feel grief in

our bodies, we feel grief in our souls, and most of us will

experience acute feelings of grief when a loved one passes away. Death brings grief,

but not every grief is always related to death. Although grief is always

related to loss, that doesn't always mean death. The changes of life can

bring loss. Many times, grief is suffering the loss of something or someone

that you loved. It's not always death, but it always comes with loss.

The changes in life that bring loss, for example, a divorce that's

not a death, but there is a loss of relationship, and we grief

that. A change in a job or getting let go from a job,

that's not a death, but there's a loss there. There's a change that

we grieve. Moving away or changing schools can bring grief because there's loss there.

When I moved to Indianapolis more than four years ago, I grieved the

relationships I was leaving in Pennsylvania. I knew we'd stay in touch, but

I was grieving the change. We were losing proximity, we were losing intimacy.

I grieved that You can grieve when you have an illness or an accident

or an injury that leaves you disabled or robs you of an ability or leaves

you scarred because you're losing something that you once had. A financial loss is

something that you might grieve. See, grief is always related to losing something

that we love, and most often that's a person, the death of a

loved one. I remember the earliest memory I have of grief was when I

was five years old and one of my grandparents passed away, my Grandpa Miller.

And I remember being in the front yard of our house and my parents,

on the sunny afternoon, knelt down in front of me and they told

me that Grandpa Miller passed away, and I just started crying. I just

didn't understand. I was so sad. I was upset, and I hugged

my parents and I gripped them tightly. I just wanted to be soothed.

I wanted that loss to be replaced. We've all experienced a grief, and

I want to tell you, as one of your pastors, as I've been

preparing this message this week, my heart has been burdened for those in our

congregation who are walking through grief right now, or who have recently lost somebody

in recent months, in recent years. And as I was preparing this,

I was praying, and I could visualize the faces and the names of people

in our congregation who have lost a loved one, who have lost a spouse,

who've lost parents, who've even lost or a daughter. And as I

was praying over you and over our congregation and those stories that I know,

I felt the Lord speak to me in my spirit. I felt the Lord

give me a word for us today, and that is that he wants to

release more healing and provide more hope today. God wants to restore hope today.

And so if you're aggrieving, if you're struggling, I want to tell

you that God wants to release more of his healing, and he wants to

restore more of his hope today. And so we're gonna look in scripture at

John chapter nineteen. We're gonna start reading in verse twenty five. And at

this moment, Jesus is hanging on the cross. He's been beaten, he's

been tortured, he's now nailed to the cross in death is just moments away.

And here's what we read. Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother,

his mother's sister, Marry, the wife of Klopus, and Mary Magdalen.

And when Jesus saw his mother there and the disciple whom he loved,

Now, I want to draw your attention here this disciple. Most scholars agree

that this is probably John, one of the disciples, that this is John,

the one who actually wrote these words that we have in the Bible.

Right now, this is John. And so John, the disciple whom he've

loved, standing nearby, Jesus said to his mother, woman, here is

your son. And to the disciple John, here is your mother. From

that time on, this disciple took her into his home. So somehow,

hanging on the cross, dying, somehow Jesus is lucid enough to speak to

his mother and John, and Jesus has compassion on them. He sees their

grief, he sees their sorrow, and he instructs them to come together.

He puts them together to support one another, to grieve with one another,

to help each other. And so here's the big idea of this message,

the main point that I want to share from this text today. We grieve

together. We grieve together. See. I believe that Jesus is looking out

for his mother here, looking out for his mom, and he's asking John

to provide and look after his mom when Jesus leaves. And most scholars say,

wow, this is a is a big responsibility for John. What an

honor for John that he's now entrusted with Mary, the mother of Jesus.

However, I also imagine that Jesus is looking out for John in this moment

because historians will tell you that John is likely the youngest of the twelve disciples,

as young as maybe eighteen seventeen, sixteen years old, just a teenager.

And I imagine that Jesus is looking out for this young boy, this

teenager who's losing his best friend, and he knows that he needs a mother

who can help him grieve this loss. I think he's looking out for both

of them. We grieve together. This text makes me think of a story.

Recently. I met a pastor who immigrated to the US from Venezuela.

Because of the economic and the political crisis going on in Venezuela, more than

eight million people have that country as refugees, and they've scattered through South America,

Central America up to the United States. And so I met this pastor

and he introduced me to two teenagers. And I just assumed that these teenagers

were his children, but he told me that they're not his children. He

said that when they immigrated, when they left Venezuela, along the way,

they found these teenagers, and he said, now they're with us. Now

they're with us. And that makes me think of Jesus here, Jesus saying

to Mary and John, you're now with each other. You're with each other,

you're a family. Now when we grieve, we grieve together. And

now, I don't know if you're grieving right now. It's likely that you're

hearing this and you are in the dark, lonely middle of grief. And

if that's you, I know that no words I say naturally can bring you

hope and healing. That's why we need a supernatural touch from God's We need

a supernatural experience of his voice and his love. And perhaps you've come through

a season of grieving and you're on the other side. You've healed, but

there are still some painful memories, or there may be many of us listening

right now. You're not grieving, but your friend is, your loved one

is, and you may feel helpless to help them. I want to tell

you today, as we look at this text, we're gonna receive hope for

our own grief and help for the grief of others that we love. I

want to look again, specifically at verse twenty six, says Jesus saw his

mother there and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, standing nearby, close

proximity. The people who loved Jesus were standing nearby, They were near the

cross. They were witnessing this grief. John and Mary were standing together nearby.

And this reminds us that when you grieve, you are not alone.

You are not alone in your grief. Now it may feel you are alone,

it may feel lonely, it may feel isolating, and you might feel

like you are the only one who feels what you feel. But you are

not alone. We read in Psalm ten, verse fourteen. You God,

you see the trouble of the afflicted. You consider their grief and take it

in hand. God is with you in your grief. You are not alone.

You are not isolated in your grief. God sees your grief, He

sees your pain, and he is with you. He is near you,

just like Jesus put Mary and John together. God is with you. Hebrews

thirteen five tells us God has said, never will I leave you, and

never will I forsake you. God will never forsake you. You are not

alone. He is with you. Now. Anxiety fear that they will tell

you that you are alone. They will tell you that you're never gonna recover.

They will tell you you can't smile again, you won't be able to

love again, you won't be able to have joy and meaning and purpose again.

But those are lies from the enemy. You are not alone and your

grief and in your sorrow. Anyone who's suffered the rejection or a loss of

a relationship or a job lost, where you felt betrayed, or you feel

like you can't trust again. But I tell you that God can restore your

hope. He can redeem what's been lost, and he can renew your spirit.

The person who's lost a parent feels abandoned, but God will never abandon

you. Those who've lost a spouse or who've lost a child feel like that

void could never be filled again. But I know that God can feel the

deepest wounds. He can cover the deepest hurts with his amazing love. You

are not alone in your grief and in your pain. Now. I believe

that most of us agree that God is with us. We know that God

is with us, but so often we don't feel like God is with us.

And that's why we need one another. That's why we need one another

to show one another God's love. Hebrews thirteen three tells us remember those in

prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are

mistreated, as if you yourselves were suffering. Remember our big idea says,

we grieve together. This verse says, remember those who are suffering as if

you were together. We grieve together, we suffer together, we stick together.

I have a very dear friend, very close friend, and many years

ago one afternoon and the middle of the day on a weekday, my friend

called me and he said, are you home? And I said yes,

and he said, okay, I'll be right over and he hung up.

Now this was strange. I was really confused and intrigued, like, what

is going on that my friend would come over to my house immediately in the

middle of afternoon on a weekday. Well, a few minutes later, my

friend walked in and he sat down, and he told me that he was

losing his job and he was completely blindsided by this, and given his work,

it's likely meant that he and his family would have to uproot and move

away, relocate. Now I didn't know what to say. I didn't know

what to feel. I didn't know should I feel angry for him? Should

I feel sad for him? Should I try to cheer him up or try

to motivate him? Can I tell you what I said to my friend?

You want to know what I said to him? I actually don't really remember

what I said to him because my words were not that important. What was

important is that my friend not feel alone. And so we spent the rest

of that day together. I canceled what other appointments I had, We had

a meal together, we spent the evening together. And in those coming weeks,

as he wrestled with the grief, the shock, the sadness, I

spent time with him. We spent many evenings together because I didn't want my

friend to feel alone in his sorrow and his grief, in his disappointment.

In the Jewish culture, in the Old Testament, there's a practice that when

someone loses a family member that their relatives and their friends will come and they

will spend seven days with the grieving person. It's called shiva, which comes

from the Hebrew word for seven, where they spend seven days, and often

the relatives and the friends they don't say much, they're just present with the

grieving person. We see this in the story of Job when he loses his

home, when he loses everything, when his children die. He is grieving,

and his friends they come and they sit with him for seven days.

Your friends needs you in their grief. They need you to grieve with them.

They need you to be present. You may not even say a word,

but to be present, to call on them at home, to visit

them in the hospital. Can I give you some practical advice about helping those

that we love who are grieving. Some practical advice that I learned a while

ago that that's helped me a lot. When someone we care about suffer's loss

and they grieve, we want to help them, and so, with good

intentions, we say things like I'm here for you. We say things like

let me know if there's anything I can do. We say, you know,

I'm here to help, just let me know what I can do,

and we have good intentions. But let me tell you, when somebody is

overwhelmed by grief, those open ended offers feel overwhelming. It's like a burden

that they feel like, I got to come up with something to give you

to do. And so the advice that I received many years ago I want

to pass on to us is offer something very intentional. Say can I bring

a meal over? Can I go run some errands for you? Can you

give me your to do list? Can I watch the kids for the afternoon?

Like? Give something practical, give something intentional. Because when we grieve,

we are not alone. We grieve together. We grieve together. Jesus

made sure that his mother and John grieved together, that they were not alone.

And I'm confident that Mary and John grieved differently. On one hand,

Mary is a mother grieving the loss of her child, and then on the

other hand, John is a friend, a disciple grieving his mentor grieving his

friend. Very different perspectives. And so this reminds you and me that when

you grieve, you may not be the only person grieving. You may not

be the only person who's grieving. Your family grieves with you, your spouse

grieves with you. You may not be the only one who grieves. And

we all grieve differently. We have different preferences, different emotions. Some people

need to talk about it, They need to just revisit it and talk about

it to get through it. Some people don't want to talk about it.

They need to work through it by being active and using their hands and being

active. Some people need space. And it's so important that when you are

not the only person who's grieving, to not judge someone else for how they

grieve. We got to give one another grace. Mary Mary just might have

been the only person who can anticipate Jesus's violent death. You see, when

Jesus was born, he was when he was eight days old. Mary and

her husband took Jesus to the temple in Jerusalem, and they met a prophet

there named Simeon, and Simeon pronounced a prophecy over Jesus that Mary heard when

he was born. In Luke chapter two we read, and then Simeon blessed

them and said to marry his mother. This child is destined to cause the

falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will

be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed.

And a sword will pierce your own soul. He says this to Mary.

A sword will per there's your own soul. There is some loss and some

grief that feels like a sword piercing the soul. One time I suffered a

painful personal tragedy that set me into a season of grief, and I was

depressed. I was angry. Many days of crying and sleepless nights and even

nightmares. I was just in agony, and I poured my soul out to

the Lord in my grief. And I remember, in that dark middle of

the grief, I remember one thing that I said to God. I said,

God, it feels like my heart has been ripped out and it's bleeding

all over my soul. That's very graphic. That's how dark and grief struck

I was. Now God brought me through that, and I've healed from that.

But there are some wounds, there are some losses that just strike into

our soul. And sometimes we wonder, will we ever recover? Will we

ever be the same again? Will we ever get past this? Will we

always be triggered again by those photographs, by those memories? Will all of

that? Will we be stuck? Yes, you may never be the same

again. Yes, your grief may have changed you, but there is healing.

You may be changed, but you can heal. There is hope in

Jesus. There is hope for our healing. And no matter how differently we

grieve, we can heal from our grief. We grieve together. Before Jesus

was crucified, he shared with his disciples that they would grieve, but he

promised them that they would have hope. In John sixteen, Jesus says,

very truly, I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world

rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. So

with you. Now is your time of grief. But I will see you

again and you will rejoice and no one will take away your joy. Jesus

gives you a promise. He does not deny that you will grieve, you

will suffer loss, but he promises that there will be joy, that there

will be hope, and there is healing on the other side of grief.

When Jesus died, they buried his body in the tomb, and for three

days, his close loved one's grieved for three days, his friend's grief.

For three days. They were in despair. But on that third day,

Jesus rose again. On that third day, the stone was rolled away,

and Jesus came back to life, conquering death, conquering sin, conquering everything

that would separate us from the Father. There is hope because Jesus lives.

I've been healed from my grief, and God can heal you. For the

one who has suffered a loss of relationship, Jesus heals that loss. Jesus

heals the one who has lost hope, who has a broken heart. He

heals the one who has lost a career opportunity in his grieving. He heals

the one who has lost a physical abay due to injury. He heals the

one who is distraught and despair. And if you think like life isn't worth

living anymore, he brings healing because he lives. There is nothing too dark,

nothing too evil, that can keep you in despair. Because Jesus rose

from the dead, that's our hope. That's our hope. And so Jesus

promises that he will heal our grief. I want to direct your attention to

the last line in our text, in verse twenty seven. Jesus said to

John, here is your mother. And from that time on, this disciple

took her into his home. John brought Mary into his home. He brought

her in. They lived together. They grieve together. And so this is

the third point for us to remember. When you grieve, let others in.

When you grieve, let others in. Don't walk this journey alone.

Don't cut them off, don't shut them out. We need one another.

We grieve together. It may only be one person that you let in,

but let them in. We're commanded in Galatians chapter six, verse two tells

us carry each other's burdens, and in this way you fulfill the law of

Christ. You and I are commanded to support one another. That includes carrying

grief and loss. Church at the Crossing is here to support one another,

even in our grief. We have a vision to be a better church,

not just a bigger church. And being a better church means that we care

for one another, that we grieve together. And I want to tell you

there's a beautiful ministry here at Church at the Crossing called the Stephen Ministry.

And the Stephen Ministry is comprised of trained leader's ministers who are trained in care

ministry, support ministry. And so when someone in our church is grieving or

if they've suffered a loss or a disappointment, a Stephen minister will come alongside

that grieving person and walk with them, pray with them, meet with them,

support them, give them encouragement. These people are trained in care and

training, confidentiality. Its alle encourage you that if you may find use of

a Stephen Ministry, or someone you love may find use for Stephen Ministry,

please contact Pastor Bruce. Visit the church website to find more information, because

we want to support and grief together. When you grieve, let others in.

If we shut others out, that grief goes unprocessed. An unprocessed grief

can harm us unprocessed grief produces trauma, and trauma that is not healed produces

fear, anxiety, worry, and panic. I've met so many people that

hide their grief. Parents who hide a terminal diagnosis from their adult children,

spouses who hide a financial loss from their spouse. Unprocessed grief can create harmful

habits, hurtful addictions, eating disorders. All is a way to try and

cope with the pain. You see, if you ignore grief, that pain

has to go somewhere, and often it turns inwhere and it starts attacking our

bodies in your immune system. Eroads make you prone to illness and disease,

insomnia, nightmares. Even because that grief is just trying to work itself out,

because it's unprocessed, we gotta let others in. I still remember when

I was maybe twelve years old one night when my dad brought me into my

brother's room at bedtime, and my brother was already in bed, and my

dad was sitting on the edge of the bed, and my dad gently told

me and my brother that he and my mom didn't love each other anymore and

they were gonna get a divorce, and grief and shock just hit my little

heart, and I didn't understand. I was so confused and angry and fearful,

very afraid, And I ran out of the room and I went to

my bedroom and I tucked myself into bed, and I cried myself to sleep

that night, full of grief. Now, more than twenty years later,

when I look back on that night, I can only imagine what my brother

was feeling, my little brother. And now you know, we didn't know,

We didn't know how to respond to that. But now I wish,

looking back, that I had checked on my brother that night, that I'd

been there more for him that night. When you grieve, let others in.

We grieve together, and we heal together. This series' famous last words

has been all about the last words of Jesus, that he's speaking in his

death. But we know that his death is not the end. We know

that he rose from the dead, that he defeated death, that he defeated

sin, and that is our hope. Earlier, I told you about losing

my first grandparent when I was a little boy. My other grandfather, Courtney,

passed away in twenty seventeen, and I've shared many stories here about Courtney,

and since we're talking about Jesus's last words. I've reflected on Courtney's final

days and his final words. And when Courtney was in the hospital, his

health was declining and the nurse was taking care of him. He was going

through treatments. And my grandfather had worked in business and real estate and all

that for all of his life. And while he was in the hospital,

one afternoon, he told the nurse that he had to get ready for a

very important business meeting that day. He had to meet with his accountants,

he had to meet with his attorneys, and he had to get ready for

this business meeting. And the nurse just kind of smiled, and she just

assumed that he was declining and confused and misremembering things, and he was on

medication. And when the nurse walked out of his room, she saw several

men in suits get off the elevator and they said, hello, we're here

to meet with Courtney. Even to the very end, he was selling property,

he was closing accounts, he was moving investments, he was wheeling and

dealing at the very end. And then I got to spend a few minutes

privately, just alone, just the two of us, and we had a

conversation about faith. We had a conversation and we prayed together, and my

grandfather, although he was in pain, man he had so much peace because

his hope was in Jesus. His hope was for heaven. He knew that

this life on earth was not his home. He was going to his permanent

home. And I will always remember the last words that he said to me.

In his last words, my grandfather said, Andrew, keep the faith.

Those are the last things he said to me. Keep the faith.

Sometimes, in our grief, our faith is the only thing that we can

hold onto. Sometimes, when you have cried and wept so much that you're

exhausted, your faith is the only thing you're clinging to. Sometimes, when

you are so grief stricken and you feel like you can't get out of bed,

your faith is all you hold on to. My grandfather had faith in

heaven. He had faith in Jesus. I wonder do you have that same

kind of faith. You know, Jesus spoke these last words to his mother

and to John, and then they grieved when he died. But on that

third day, John heard that the tomb was empty, He heard that the

grave was empty. And what did John do? John ran to the tomb

in faith. He ran to the tomb in faith. He outran Peter and

got to the tomb first. In faith, he looked in, and in

faith he saw that Jesus was alive. Do you have that same faith?

If you do not have that faith, and I encourage you to make that

decision today to put your faith in hope in Jesus. And I know that

in a group this size, that there are some of us here who are

grieving right now, who are suffering right now. And just like John ran

to the tomb, I think there are some of us who need to run

to Jesus right now. And so I want to extend an invitation today.

If you need to run to Jesus, if you want to pray, you

if you want to receive leave his healing, receive his hope. I want

to invite you to receive that, to run to him. First. If

you would like to pray privately alone by yourself, of course you can do

that in your seat, But if you'd like to make use of these altars

to my right, you can pray private here by yourself, right here.

But I'm going to invite our prayer partners to come forward. Right now,

and if you would like to someone to pray with you, then please just

come to this side on my left, and those prayer partners would be happy

to greet you and pray with you. But would you stand with me as

we transition into this response time And I'm going to open this response in prayer,

and after I pray, you're invited to come forward as you need to

meet with God. Father, God, Thank you for your grace, Thank

you for your love. God. I'm just reminded that you meet us where

we are, even in grief, even in sorrow, even in sadness,

you meet us where we are. And I believe that as I'm praying that

someone in this room needs to hear this. I have this mental picture of

a tall ladder and at the top of the ladder is God. And I

want to tell you this if this means something for someone in this room,

that God is not sitting at the top of a ladder demanding that you climb

your way up to get to him. I just want to reject that mental

image for someone here today, and I want to tell you that God has

come right to where you are. He is with you in the hospital room.

He's with you in the in the funeral home. He is right where

you are. And so God, I pray that as we respond, as

we come to you, that you would release more healing and restore hope.

Today. God, although our grief has changed us, God, our hope

has said on you, our healing has found in you. And I pray

all this in Jesus' name, Amen, well as we continue to sing.

If you'd like to respond, like I said, on this side, if

you want to pray privately, that's that's fine. If you'd like to pray

with somebody, they're available on this side. But come forward, run to Jesus