Two Kingdoms: Week 6

New if this is your first time, so glad that

you're here. We are today concluding a message series we've

been calling two Kingdoms.

And in this series, we've been looking at how.

Jesus when he came to Earth, he inaugurated, he established

a kingdom of God on earth. There's the Kingdom of

the world and there's the Kingdom of God. And we've

been looking at the words of Jesus in Matthew chapter five,

and we've learned.

That kingdom people like you and me. Jesus calls us

to be a little bit.

Different than the Kingdom of the world, to have different desires,

different motives, different behaviors.

And today we're going to be.

Finishing this series by looking at one of the last

things Jesus says in Matthew chapter five, in verse nine.

And before we turn there, would you pray with me,

Father God.

We thank you for your grace and your presence and God,

today we want to hear from your word.

God. We've come to you together to receive what you

have for us. So by your.

Holy Spirit, would you speak to us from your word,

Would you inspire us, would you instruct us, Would you

reveal more about your character and God, may we be

obedient to what we receive today, Give us ears to hear,

in hearts to understand your message. And I pray all

of this in Jesus's name.

Amen, I'm gonna.

Tell you about a church, a different church that I

know fairly well, and many many years ago, this church

was thriving. I mean everything was happening. They were growing,

the congregation was growing, attendance was at its highest at

that time, classes, discipleship, people were getting saved and baptized

like this church was thriving. And all of that thriving

came to a halt dramatically on one Sunday morning. A

little bit of background in that congregation, there was a

small group of people who were in conflict with the

senior pastor.

And they had accused the senior.

Pastor of mishandling some business and there was never any

real documentation, but there was real conflict. And on that

Sunday morning, church and the worship service started off normal

like a typical Sunday until a spokesperson for that group

interrupted and confronted the pastor in front of the whole congregation,

and everybody waited to see what the senior pastor would do.

And as the story goes, the senior pastor stood in

front the congregation and he said something to the effect,

I came here today to have church. If you want

to have church, follow me to the gymnasium. And he

walked down the middle aisle and out the doors, and people,

some people from the congregation followed after him.

Now, as the story.

Goes, the teenagers the youth group sat together in that church,

just like our students typically at the nine to forty

five service, they sit here together. Well, in that church,

all the teenagers were sitting together, and they were watching

to see.

What their parents would do.

If their parents got up and walked out, then their

children followed them. If they stayed, their children stayed. In

a moment, that church was split. In a moment, the youth.

Group was split. Friendships were split.

In the end, that pastor left that church and he

started a new church just down the road. And there

was never any reconciliation, ever any resolution, and the tension

remained for decades. The title of today's message is how

to handle conflict?

What kind of conflict have you been involved in?

Now, maybe you haven't been a part of conflict as

dramatic as that story or as public as that story.

But what about personal conflict? The arguments, the disagreements, the

nasty emails.

Back and forth.

We all faced conflict. We all have conflict. We can't

escape it. I mean, just in a line seven or

eight days. Let me tell you, as I've talked with

people in our congregation. I've spoken to those who are

sadly going through divorce, spoken to a parent and child

who are estranged. I know someone in our church has

family members in conflict over money issues, a business leader

that's involved in a lawsuit. Like this is just in

the last seven days. Like, we are not going to

escape conflict. As long as we are here on this earth,

as long as there is sin in our lives than

in this.

Earth, we will have conflict.

So how do we handle it? One thing that I've

learned about conflict is that conflict is it's not really

like a bomb. It doesn't just explode suddenly. Conflict escalates,

it increases.

It's less like a bomb. It's more like an escalator.

I think about an escalator as it moves you up

to the next level. And let me introduce you to

the conflict escalator. You know, there are some conflicts that

at the very simplest form of conflict. There there's misunderstanding, right,

the misunderstanding, it's not very emotional. We got our facts wrong,

wires cross. We can clear up a misunderstanding. Well, then

that next level is a disagreement where we have the

right facts, but we've got a difference of opinion or

a difference of perspective. There's a disagreement, and most mature

people can work out a disagreement. There might be some compromise,

there might be some give and take. We can work

out a disagreement. And sometimes things will escalate to an argument.

And this is where words have some sting, and there

is some back and forth, and then that can even

grow to a fights where there is shouting.

And tantrums and and.

There's some some silent fights where there's cut off and separation,

and even worse, a fight could turn into violence, threats

or character attack or even physical harm it escalates.

I'll tell you about two neighbors.

One neighbor had lived on his property for a number

of years, and there were other neighbors that shared adjacent

properties out in the country a few acres each, and

the property next to this neighbor sold and a new

owner took possession, and the new owner moved into this

new property, and there was a misunderstanding about property lines

because the new neighbor had a survey done and discovered

that the existing neighbor's driveway was about three feet on

the new neighbor's property. Well, then that escalated into a

disagreement about easements and right away. And then it even

escalated when the existing neighbor drove home one day like

he'd done thousands of times, driving up his driveway, when he.

Was greeted with a property stake in the middle of

his driveway.

And then the new neighbor built a high fence around

his property, and it continued to escalate into an argument,

and it escalated when the existing neighbor heard a knock

on his front door and opened the door to be

greeted by the sheriff because a complaint had been filed

with the county. How did it end Well, the existing

neighbor ended up selling their property and moving away, like

the fighting stopped, but there was no resolution. There was

no reconciliation. See conflict escalates, and as conflict escalates, so

do emotions. Emotions escalate we feel the tension of uneasiness,

the tension, the friction that can escalate into hostility and

resentment and anger, and that can escalate into aggression lashing out.

Like things escalate, we cannot escape conflicts. So how do

we handle conflict? And Jesus does not expect us to

avoid it, and Jesus does not expect us to ignore it.

Jesus expects us.

To handle conflict in a specific way, and that is

the Kingdom way.

So we're gonna look at the words of Jesus and

Matthew five. Starting in verse nine.

Jesus says, Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be

called children of God. This comes at the end of

the beatitudes in Matthew chapter five. And over these last

few weeks we've seen all the different beattitudes leading up

from verses three through eight, and I believe that the

beatitudes build.

On each other.

We start with Blessed are the poor and spirit. That's

that's your starting point, like I got nothing off for God.

I am broken before God, and we've got Blessed are

the meek, like like we have to be humble when

we approach God. Blessed are the merciful. It is how

we treat other people. Blessed our people, hunger and thirst

for righteousness. These are building blocks to become peacemakers. We

can't be peacemakers without those other building blocks along the way.

And notice what Jesus says. He says blessed are the what.

Peacemakers he doesn't say peace keepers. There's a difference between

a peace keeper and a peace maker. Think about that escalator.

When I was a boy, I would ride up the escalator,

going up to the next level, and then halfway up

the escalator, I turn around and try to go down,

try to go down the up escalator, And it was

challenging because I didn't want to lose my balance and

want to trip and fall. Us See how fast could

I go? Could I get down to the bottom while

the steps were coming up?

But I wasn't going anywhere. I was just stuck in

the same place.

Peacekeepers can get stuck in the same place, stuck on

the escalator of conflict, trying to keep the tensions down,

trying to manage everything, and they're not going anywhere. A

peace keeper manages tension, a peace maker engages conflict. In

nineteen fifty the US was drawn into the Korean War

when North Korea invaded South Korea and China back to

North Korea, and the US was involved in the fighting

for three years. Nearly forty thousand Americans lost their lives

in this war and soil. Nineteen fifty three, there was

a ceasefire agreement, and the ceasefire created the de Militarized

Zone on the thirty eighth parallel the DMZ, separating North

and South Korea. And ever since then, the DMZ has

been guarded by peacekeepers.

Peacekeeping troops.

Nearly twenty eight thousand people are there guarding this DMZ

as miles of barbed wire and land mines, and it's

like a global standoff between North and South Korea trying

to guard the demilitarized zone. Now, what's interesting is I've

read about this period in history, and I've often read

this is called the Korean War. I've often also heard

others refer to it as the Korean Conflict. And I've wondered,

you know, which is the best way to describe, which

is accurate the Korean War Korean Conflict.

And here's what I learned.

Historical experts agree that it is technically the Korean conflict

because the war didn't end. There was no peace treaty.

There was a cease fire. The fighting stopped, but the

war did not end. There is still a state of war.

The DMZ is there not because there is peace, but

because there is no peace.

See.

A peacekeeper negotiates the minimum for a ceasefire to stop

the fighting. A peace maker goes above and beyond for reconciliation.

I wonder if you know what it feels like to

live in an emotional DMZ, or like the arguments over.

The fight has stopped, but there's still tension, there's still hostility, there's.

Still friction, walking around on eggshells. A peacekeeper just stop

the fighting.

A peacekeeper just just stop the arguing in the name.

Of peace, but it's false peace. A peace maker goes

above and beyond.

That's why we read in James Chapter three, peacemakers who

so in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. Years ago,

Lauren and I were living in a townhouse and was

connected to other units, and we didn't have a yard.

There was a common area that the homeowners association mode

and maintained, but we didn't really have a yard except

there was this one little narrow piece of grass between

my driveway and my neighbor's driveway. I mean just this

narrow piece of grass. Well better stated this piece of weeds.

I mean it was like a weed paradise. They were

growing unlimited and total freedom. And I really didn't know

whose responsibility this piece of property was. Well I found

out who was responsible for it one day when when

Lauren pulled into the driveway and noticed that our neighbor

was out there cleaning up all of these weeds. And

when Lauren stepped out of the car, she was met

with a barrage of profanity and anger, and this neighbor

berated her for being irresponsible and not taking care of

that peace of property. I honestly had no idea who

it belonged to. So I decided I had a choice.

I could be a peacekeeper or a peace maker. A

peacekeeper might just well, don't talk to that neighbor and

we'll just do our part. I don't want to be

a peace maker, so put together a gift basket of

some things I knew the neighbor liked, and later knocked

on the door and offered my peace offering and apologized

and the neighbor also calmed down, apologized for overreacting. Peacemakers

go above and beyond. Peacemakers seek reconciliation. Peace Makers want

to resolve what's going on, not just a ceasefire. Notice

the words of Jesus in verse nine, Blessed are the

peace makers, for they will.

Be called what children of God. Peacemakers are children of God.

If we are God's sons, if we are His daughters,

then that means how we handle conflict is connected to

our relationship with God. Conflict is an opportunity to honor

your heavenly Father. When you're handling conflict, you have a

decision to make. Will you honor God or will you

dishonor the Father? Because see our Father, our heavenly Father,

is a God of peace. At the heart of the

Gospel message is a holy, righteous God making peace with sinners.

Colossians one tells us how Jesus has made peace by

making peace through.

His blood shed on the cross.

Once you were alienated from God, and we're enemies in

your minds because of your evil behavior, but now He

has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death.

We must understand.

That our sin not only separates us from God, but

our sin makes us enemies of God. Our sin is

a deliberate decision to rebel and reject the law of God.

It doesn't matter what our sin is.

It doesn't matter if it's pride, if it's greed, if

it's stealing, lying, it doesn't matter if it's lost. It

doesn't matter what the sin is. But sin is a

deliberate choice to rebel against God. It is treason against God.

We are his enemies.

But because of Jesus, God has made peace with sinners.

Jesus death on the Cross paid the price for our sin.

He absorbed the punishment that we deserve so that we

can be forgiven. Anyone who believes in Jesus and confesses

their sins will be saved and forgiven.

There is reconciliation in Christ. There's peace in Christ. And

the Gospel reflects the peace of God.

So when we engage in conflict, when we are handling conflict,

how you do it reflects the Gospel. Today, we've been

looking at these words of Jesus in Matthew five, verse nine,

and I want to turn to another passage in the

Gospel of Matthew where Jesus elaborates on handling conflict. I

want to take a little excursion. You know what an

excursion is. If you've been on a trip, or maybe

on a cruise.

You get off the boat and you can go shopping

or go scuba diving. A little excursion.

We're gonna take an excursion to Matthew Chapter eighteen. Let's

read what Jesus says here, starting in verse fifteen. If

another believer sins against you, go privately and point out

the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it,

you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful,

take one or two others with you and go back again,

so that everything you say may be confirmed by two

or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen,

take your case to the church.

Then if he or she won't.

Accept the church's decision, treat that person as a pagan

or corrupt tax collector. Okay, a couple observations about Jesus's

words here. On the first line, we need to know

that Jesus was talking about Christians conflict between believers. He

says right here, for another believer, it's the conflict between

Christians and we also need to understand that Jesus talking

about sin.

He says it right here. He's not talking about the

little annoyances, the little things that irritate us.

To talk about sin. Sin is serious. And so for

the rest of our time, we're gonna get really practical.

Because this week, as I was studying this passage, as

preparing this message, each day was praying.

To God, God, what is most helpful for our church?

What is most helpful for our people?

Like God, what do you want to give us to

help us in our families, in our relationships? And so

we're gonna get really practical and based on the words

of Jesus, I want to share a model for handling conflict,

a model that you can use in almost any situation

in your marriage, in your family, at work, inside the church,

outside the church. But a model for handling conflict is

called the Peace Plan. And each letter is a step

in the peace plan. So first there's P and that

is preferred outcome. You gotta predecide what is your preferred outcome?

How do you want to see this end? Now, if

your preferred outcome is to prove that you're right, you're

not ready to make peace, or is your preferred outcome

to reconcile, to find common ground, to reunite. If your

preferred outcome is to win the argument, you've already lost

because look at the words of Jesus in Matthew eighteen.

If the other person listens and confesses it, you have

one that person back.

He doesn't say you win the argument.

It's about winning the person back, winning the relationship, not

winning a fight. So you have to decide what is

your preferred outcome and the next step E examine. Last week,

my two year old son came home from daycare and

he was his typical laughing, happy, silly self, and on

the car ride home, he kept saying the same word.

He kept saying sand, sand, and I thought, oh, you

played in the sandbox. But then we were making dinner

in the kitchen he was saying it again, sand sand.

We sat at the dinner table eating and he kept

repeating sand, sand.

And I noticed something unusual.

When I looked at him, I noticed his left eye

was a little bit red, And then I looked a

little bit closer and there was a clump of sand

under his bottom.

Eyelid inside his eye. Do you know the incredible.

Difficulty of getting a two year old still while you

clean out their eyes. He screamed and shrieked and squirmed,

and thankfully.

We got it all washed out and no harm.

And it reminds me of something Jesus says in Matthew seven.

He says, in verse three, why how do you look

at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and

pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

How can you say to your brother, let me take

the speck out of your eye, when all the time

there's a plank in your own eye, You hypocrite. First

take the plank out of your own eye, then you

will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

We need to examine our hearts, examine your motives, examine yourself.

What are you trying to accomplish the exam Are you

trying to teach someone a lesson? Are you trying to

get even? Are you trying to preserve your reputation? Or

are you trying to assert your superior wor like, what

is your motive? You're examining what's your motive in handling

this conflict?

And this is something I had to do this week.

Nearly every evening as I was reading and studying, like

I would just turn to God in prayer, like God's

searching my heart. Like I've had conflict, I've had challenges,

got it.

I don't want any resentment or bitterness. I wanna I

wanna have good motives here. And when you examine yourself,

then what does the text say?

You will see clearly to handle the conflict, you'll see clearly.

And so when you've examined you can see clearly what's

going on.

You can see clearly.

Or maybe you had a part to play where you

send in this, or maybe you see clearly these are

the facts. I once gave someone a gift and I

found out later through some gossip that they returned the gift,

and that that kind of hurt my feelings. And so

I devised a plan that I was going to ask

this person how they were enjoying that gift, and if

they lied and said that they liked it, then I

would catch them.

In a lie.

Now I'm not quite sure what the exact definition of

entrapment is, but I think it's something like that. But

after examining and looking at this, I realized, you know,

there's there's no conflict here.

Sure, some hurt feelings, but I just need to let

this go.

Proverb seventeen tells us starting a quarrel is like breaching

a damn.

So drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.

So when you see clearly the situation, you may realize, Hey,

this isn't really a conflict, This is just something maybe

you need to let go of. Ask yourself this question.

Is dropping this going to honor God? If so, then

just let it go. Ask yourself, if I overlook this

minor offense, is that gonna hurt the kingdom?

Is it going to hurt the church? Well, if it's not,

then just let it go.

So in the peace plan, first decide your preferred outcome.

Then examine your heart and then.

A admit, admit what you're feeling. I admit that you're angry.

I admit that you're hurt.

Admit that maybe your pride or ego has been wounded, like,

admit those things. Acknowledge those things. And if you have

had a part to play, if you've sinned, if you've

admit that to God, confess that to God. Jesus says

in Matthew five twenty one. You've heard that it was

said to the people long ago, you shall not murder,

and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment. But

I tell you that anyone who is angry with a

brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Friends, you

will not make peace if you're holding on to anger.

Anger will block peace. And so we have to admit

if we've got anger, if we've got resentment, we have

to admit.

That, confess that to God before we move forward.

And so after we've done that, then we're ready for

see and that is commit to forgiveness. We have to

be committed to forgiveness when we make that decision to forgive.

It's not always a one time thing. It might be

forgiving again in the future. It may be when you're

triggered again or reminded forgiving in But we have to

be committed to forgiveness, Jesus says in verse twenty three. Therefore,

if you are offering your gift at the altar, and

they remember that your brother or sister has something against you,

leave your gift there in front of the altar.

First, go and be.

Reconciled to them, then come and offer your gift.

Jesus teaching us.

Man, we've got to forgive. We've got to resolve this conflict.

And this is where, right here is where the temptation

to get passive aggressive will come up. And I'll tell you,

I'll admit I've been guilty before of being passively pouting

and visibly smoldering, stewing. You know, I may not say

anything or do anything, but just enough that it's noticeable.

And then when the person I might be at odds

with asks, hey, what's bothering you?

Then I'm ready. Well, since you asked.

Man, we have to decide to forgive before we go

into peacemaking. We have to choose forgiveness before we engage.

When we engage in resolving that, we have to come

to that conversation having already forgiven.

Forgiveness is our superpower in the resolution.

See, if I think to myself, well, I'll forgive, but

I need to hear them admit it. I need to

hear them ask for it. I'm not ready to forgive.

That is not forgiveness. That's conditional forgiveness, and that is

not the grace of God, because God has forgiven us

by grace without condition. Let me remind you of what

Ephesians two says, it is by grace. You've been saved

through faith. This is not from yourselves. It is a

gift of God, not by work, so that no one

can boast.

God forgives us unconditionally.

And so when we require somebody to earn our forgiveness,

that is not the gospel out reflecting the Father. So

we have to commit to forgiveness, and we come to

a conversation. We handle conflict from a place of forgiveness.

And so finally, after we predecide our outcome, we examine,

we admit, we commit to forgiveness, and that last part

e we engage.

We engage in a conversation.

And this is what Jesus says in verse fifteen. If

another believer sins against you, go privately and.

Point out the offense. A couple of comments about this.

First, we engage one on one. It's not ten on one,

he says, go privately, one on one. Secondly, please listen

to this.

It's always face to face.

In our digital age where we can send emails a

fire off text, we do not resolve conflict through email.

It's face to face as much as possible, and it's

a conversation.

It's not a speech, it's not a lecture. It's a conversation.

James Chapter one outlines a conversation. It says everyone should

be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to

become angry, because human anger does not produced the righteousness

that God desires. Handling conflict wisely involves good listening, seeking

to understand, seeking to listen, and sometimes it's appropriate to ask,

what have I done? How have I wronged you? It's

a conversation. As a teenager, I was angry and bitter

toward my dad and my step mom, and I blame

my step mom for a lot of my pain, and

I treated her cruelly the things I said and did.

And when I was eighteen, I packed up and moved

out of state to go to college, and subconsciously it

just kind of hope that all those problems, conflict, all

that would just stay behind and I could leave well.

After being in college for a couple of years, one

night I had some dreams, and in my dreams were

real memories of some painful experiences in my family, things

that I had said and done that were hurtful, things

that were wrong, and I hadn't thought about these things

in four or five years, like I had suppressed these memories,

but they were all coming back, and it startled me,

and I wanted God to heal this brokenness. And so

after a lot of prayer and working with a Christian counselor,

I decided to meet with my dad and my stepmom

and addressed this and I told them what was going on,

and I asked for their forgiveness, and I told them

that I forgave them, and we wholeheartedly reconciled, and today

we have an authentic relationship as we engaged in that peacemaking.

Now somebody be listening might think, well, hey, that's great.

I'm happy for you, but that hasn't always worked out

for me. They won't answer my calls, they won't sit down.

What do we do, then, Well, look at what Jesus

says in Matthew eighteen. Go privately and point out the offense.

But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others

with you and go back again, so that everything you

say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. Now,

remember Jesus is not advocating that we gang up on

somebody and ambush somebody. And I want to make a

disclaimer that Jesus is talking about conflict between Christians, brothers

and sisters in Christ in conflict, and he's talking about

bringing a third party into help with that. There are

some situations where you may need a third party with

some special skills. In the secular world, if there's a

workplace thing, you may need somebody like hr or an

attorney or an accountant with those specialized skills to work

out some things.

But here with these interpersonal.

Matters and matters in the church with other Christians, what

do we do What we're talking about here is a

godly reconciler, a third party who can help.

What is a godly reconciler, Well, it's a.

Mature Christian who's wise, someone who can be objective, someone

who's not a relative, and a person who knows both

you and the other person. Ken Sandy is a Christian

reconciler and he wrote the book The Peacemaker, and he says,

my experience has shown that someone who knows you well

and will have greater freedom to be honest and frank.

And that is exactly what you need in a reconciler.

So in some situations we may need a godly reconciler,

a third party to help resolve differences. And I want

to be as helpful as I can today. I really

want to help. And so if you need a third party,

a godly reconcilar, I want to give you Pastor James'

personal cell phone.

It's three one seven.

I'm kidding, but something like that, A pastoral person, a

small group leader, a Sunday school leader, a.

Team leader, an elder that might be a godly reconciler. Okay, So,

if you've tried resolving this one on one it's not working.

You try to a reconciler and they're not making any progress,

then what Here's what Jesus says verse seventeen. If the

person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church.

Then if he or she won't accept the church's decision,

treat that person as a pagan or corrupt tax collector.

I really don't think that Jesus wants us to stand

up here on a Sunday and put on the screen

everyone's personal conflict and then put it to a congregational vote.

I don't want that. I don't think you want that.

That's just not going to go. Well, So what is

he saying, I think what Jesus has in mind here

is that this last step is to bring the issue.

To spiritual authority.

To the spiritual authority that may be a pastoral leader,

might be a Christian counselor maybe a Christian mediator, professional mediator,

but that's someone.

With spiritual authority.

And then Jesus tells us that and if two Christians

cannot reconcile, cannot resolve a conflict, he says, walk away,

because if two Christians cannot forgive each other, are we

really obeying Jesus?

Or are we no better than an unbeliever?

And so this is the peace plan preferred outcome. Examine yourself, admit,

commit to forgiveness, and engage. And before we end today,

I think it'd be helpful just to comment on a

few common questions about conflict. And there's a question that

comes up like what about you know, very tragic situations.

What about violence abuse? Of course, whenever there's an imbalance

and a power dynamic, like like a supervisor and employee,

it's appropriate to have HR involved. And a victim of

abuse should never confront their abuse or one on one,

if ever at all.

And crimes need to.

Be reported of the appropriate authorities. Forgiveness is always possible,

even if reconciliation is off the table.

There's, of course, the question about should Christians sue. That's

a tough one, that's a hard one one.

Corinthians six is a passage where Paul addresses Christians suing

each other in civil court, suing each other for damages

and for money, and he basically says, hey, the fact

that there's lawsuits within the church, like you've already lost,

and if two Christians are suing each other, it's likely

that there's deeper heart and sin issues going on under

the surface. Ken Sandy writes, civil courts make rulings on

legal and property issues, but they have no jurisdiction or

ability to address sin or other matters of the heart.

And so if there's a conflict in a secular environment,

or if there's a dispute over a legal thing, a

property thing, especially if there's justice involved, man, you need

to ask yourself these questions. You got to ask, like,

have you done everything possible? Have you tried a one

on one conversation, have you tried mediation? Have you tried compromising?

And if you're going down that road of a lawsuit,

you just have to answer the question, is this lawsuit

going to honor God or dishonor God?

Me Not every situation is the same.

Another common question about conflict, and this is a big one.

What if I'm stuck in the middle.

What if there's two people I care about and they're

in conflict and I'm in the middle.

Man, that is so hard. It's so painful.

When I was a boy, my parents were in divorce

court and they could not settle a custody agreement for

me and my brother. My mom wanted full custody, my

dad wanted shared custody.

And every time they went to court there was a

new visitation.

Schedule and custody arrangement, and it just dragged on and

on until finally judge asked to meet with me one

on one and asked me what I wanted to do,

Like stuck in the middle?

Like that was hard. Man, If you're stuck in the

middle of two people in conflict, First you gotta avoid triangulation.

You know what triangulation is. It's where you've got three

people telling each other. Tell this person, tell that person,

and you got to extract yourself from carrying messages between people,

and when somebody tries to pull you in and complain,

and you just got to respectfully and gently say, hey,

I can't get in the middle of that.

On the other hand, God may use you as a

godly reconciler.

You might be a safe person for both people to

trust and sit down and work it out. But everyone

has to agree to that, and everyone has to sit

down together, not carrying messages back and forth. In a moment,

We're gonna respond to what we've heard today from God's word.

Because we need God's help.

Handling conflict is hard and we cannot do that in

our own flesh.

And I want to close by just being vulnerable for

a moment.

As I've been studying this passage and preparing this message,

I've been asking the Lord to search my heart and

to look into my life. You know, where do I

need to do some work? And there is an area

where I need to do some work. There's a situation.

In my life where I need to do some work.

And I've been working the process and I've come to

a place of forgiveness.

But I need to have a conversation. That's my next step.

I need to engage in a conversation, and I've tried

talking myself out of it or putting it off, but

that's my next step and I need the Lord's help

to do that. We need his supernatural help and his

humility to handle conflict. And so here's what I'd like

us to do for the next couple of moments, to

turn our hearts and minds to the Lord in response.

And the peace plan is going to be up here

on the screen. And if you're in a situation and

then there's an issue going on, I'd like you to pray,

ask the Lord, where are you at in the peace plan?

You know, maybe you have you gotta start with what

outcome do you want?

You know? For me? My next step I got to engage.

But would you just take a moment and turn your

heart to the Lord and respond to what we've heard.

And then I'll close this in prayer. Let me pray

for us for the God.

We thank you that you are the ultimate peace maker,

that you made peace with us with sinners by sending

your son Jesus. God, I pray that as we leave

this place today, as we go back into our lives,

into the.

World and to work in school, God.

That we may be agents of peace, that we may

carry your presence with us.

God, would you release more of your spirit.

More courage, God, more obedience, that we would reflect your

love and your forgiveness and your compassion in this world.

God, this is a world full of conflict, a.

World full of pain, a world full of eye for

an eye, tooth for a tooth. And yet You've called

us to be different than this world, to be people

of your kingdom. And so we pray wholeheartedly God, the

words that Jesus taught us to pray that your will

be done.

Your kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven.

And we pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.