Sermon

Real Life | Part 9 | Dave Gruhn

Two Rivers Church Sermons

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  1. Alright. Hey. Good morning.

  2. Good morning.

  3. As we get started, Kevin just mentioned this.

  4. Maybe in your venue, you already heard something

  5. about catalyst, and that's all about personal transformation.

  6. And one of the ways we wanna gauge

  7. that is with the survey that you've already

  8. been invited to participate in. And so, here's

  9. the deal, if you know, you know you,

  10. the only time that you're gonna participate in

  11. that is right now, I'm not gonna be

  12. offended. Alright? I guarantee you, in all the

  13. venues, I won't be offended. So you can

  14. grab your phone and you can do it

  15. right now as we get started about five

  16. to seven minutes, but it's really important

  17. that we would have a baseline. Because by

  18. the time we get to the end of

  19. catalyst, how do we talk about transformation

  20. if we don't have a way to gauge

  21. it? So, would you do that please? We

  22. ask.

  23. As we get started, I'm Dave, and we're

  24. welcoming Roane County down in Bearden. Good morning

  25. to y'all,

  26. over at Amplend, good morning to you as

  27. well. And you can open a Bible to

  28. chapter,

  29. 18 in the book of Matthew,

  30. and We're gonna talk about a topic today

  31. called forgiveness.

  32. Everybody up for this one?

  33. Yeah.

  34. That's what I thought.

  35. You know, I I it was about twenty

  36. years ago. No. It was twenty years ago.

  37. And,

  38. this year.

  39. And,

  40. my wife and I,

  41. before that, we had left, one career path.

  42. I was in a new career path. I

  43. was now in vocational

  44. ministry, and part of that transition was the

  45. thing that I knew is that God was

  46. calling me to go to school. And it's

  47. a long story that I'm gonna try and

  48. tell in a really short period of time,

  49. but in the midst of that, I just

  50. had this deep conviction that that's what it

  51. was all about. I had no idea

  52. at that time that I might actually be

  53. doing what I do. I never imagined

  54. that I'd be doing what I do, but

  55. but I just knew that I was supposed

  56. to go to school

  57. and, there was a church. They invited us

  58. to come be on staff. It was church

  59. that we were part of. It's a church

  60. church

  61. that we were deeply connected in, and we

  62. are deeply connected with the lead pastor of

  63. that church and his wife. We were at

  64. dinner one night, and they they had invited

  65. us to come be part of their staff,

  66. and

  67. and, we were concerned a little bit. There

  68. was a lot of stuff going on in

  69. that church and he looked,

  70. at us and in particular, he looked at

  71. my wife straight in the eyes and he

  72. said, Kelly, as long as I'm the lead

  73. pastor of this church, you have nothing to

  74. worry about.

  75. Yeah. We were we were

  76. Yeah. We weren't we weren't really aware how

  77. that works. So

  78. here's the thing, it was less than a

  79. year later. About a year later, all of

  80. a sudden,

  81. in very short order,

  82. within a week, I was out of a

  83. job and when I asked him about that

  84. statement, hey, here's what you said, here's the

  85. promise you made to my wife, he says,

  86. I never said that.

  87. Now here's the thing,

  88. at that time it was like not It

  89. gets more complicated because it's not just

  90. that, hey, there was a person and they

  91. betrayed you. For those of you who've been

  92. in business, for those of you who've been

  93. in a marriage where you've been betrayed, those

  94. of you who've been in families where you've

  95. been betrayed by somebody who's close to you,

  96. you know that that's difficult, but when it's

  97. somebody

  98. who's representing Jesus in your world,

  99. it gets far more complicated. Not just are

  100. you working through do I forgive this person,

  101. but how do I forgive

  102. Jesus even though he doesn't need my forgiveness?

  103. How do I work my way through that?

  104. And so, that's where we're starting today. On

  105. the surface,

  106. forgiveness

  107. sounds simple. Just forgive people.

  108. But as you know, it's not simple at

  109. all. It's one of the hardest things we're

  110. not only asked to do, but we're commanded

  111. to do.

  112. It's not an option, this isn't like, Hey,

  113. there's a nice accessory,

  114. by the way to the Christian life. It's

  115. called forgiveness. If you get around to it

  116. and you feel like it, embrace that one.

  117. Jesus doesn't set it up that way.

  118. So here's what we're gonna talk about today,

  119. this idea of forgiveness. And what I wanna

  120. do is I wanna set it up and

  121. and I wanna set it up by telling

  122. you it is complicated

  123. and your situation is complicated and you probably

  124. can't figure it out on your own if

  125. you haven't figured it out already.

  126. You probably aren't gonna figure it out this

  127. afternoon if it's been 10:20,

  128. thirty years that you've been dealing with it.

  129. And so I'm gonna encourage you that you

  130. requires that we would

  131. get wise counsel.

  132. We can get counsel from things like books.

  133. There's a book called Forgive

  134. by Timothy Keller. He's since passed away, but

  135. in that book, in particular, it's based upon

  136. the parable that we're gonna see today, and

  137. in the end, there's some appendixes that actually

  138. walk you through the process. What does this

  139. look like for me to actually

  140. experience and give the forgiveness that I've been

  141. given?

  142. Forgiveness is a word we know, but what

  143. we're talking about here is this idea that

  144. forgiveness means giving up the right to revenge,

  145. the right to seek repayment from the one

  146. who harmed you.

  147. It must be recognized

  148. that forgiveness

  149. is a form of voluntary

  150. suffering.

  151. There's a debt

  152. that needs to be paid.

  153. Unforgiveness

  154. says

  155. when you finally do enough

  156. then we can move on, then I'll forgive

  157. you. When you finally

  158. pay the penalty.

  159. But forgiveness is different than that. The forgiveness

  160. that's gospel centered forgiveness looks like, I don't

  161. expect you to pay it because I'm gonna

  162. pay your debt.

  163. I'm gonna take the debt of your offense

  164. with me, and I'm gonna take it upon

  165. myself,

  166. and I'm going to pay your debt. I

  167. forgive you. That sounds a lot like the

  168. gospel, does it not?

  169. Sounds like what Jesus did for us and

  170. the expectation Jesus had for us

  171. is that that kind

  172. of forgiveness is what would flow out of

  173. us and into others. And in that book,

  174. Forgive by,

  175. Timothy Keller, he he talks about a lot

  176. of real world stuff that has happened in

  177. the last five years

  178. Because the world's message is don't be foolish.

  179. People have to pay. They did the crime.

  180. They gotta do the time. While that may

  181. be true, okay? The relationships that you have

  182. may never be the same.

  183. Jesus is gonna give us a warning.

  184. It does require forgiveness in our heart.

  185. If we're a follower of Christ,

  186. that's the grave warning. So here's what we're

  187. gonna walk away with this weekend.

  188. Real life with Jesus in his kingdom is

  189. fueled by grace

  190. demonstrated

  191. by unlimited

  192. forgiveness. If you take note, circuit that word

  193. unlimited.

  194. We don't get to set the parameters. Now

  195. with that, I I don't know what your

  196. story is.

  197. I don't

  198. know how

  199. how great the offense is that you have

  200. to forgive.

  201. I have no idea. It may be unimaginable

  202. and we'll talk about that.

  203. All I know is what Jesus says.

  204. And he doesn't say that, Oh, if you

  205. reach a certain level,

  206. now you've qualified for the unforgiveness camp.

  207. It's all levels, and he does so by

  208. telling a story.

  209. Now, Matthew 18,

  210. here's what we've seen, is that Jesus

  211. talks about us that those who are in

  212. the kingdom are like children, humble and dependent,

  213. and he calls us to pursue those who

  214. have wandered away and to care for others

  215. in the pursuit

  216. of those people, and that we would

  217. work hard towards seeing relationships

  218. restored.

  219. Forgiveness isn't just an isolated moment, it's it's

  220. the culmination of all that's gone on already

  221. in chapter 18.

  222. If we are in God's kingdom, and we

  223. are within a body called the body of

  224. Christ, that we pursue one another, and we

  225. forgive one another because it's what Jesus has

  226. given us as a model of the gospel,

  227. and so this is what Peter's wrestling with.

  228. He's trying to figure out how kingdom greatness

  229. works in the real world where people mess

  230. up. As we pick up here in chapter

  231. 18 in verse 22 where it says, Then

  232. Peter came up and said to him,

  233. Lord, how often will my brother sin against

  234. me and I forgive him?

  235. As many as seven times?

  236. Jesus said to him, I do not say

  237. to you seven times,

  238. but 77 times.

  239. Therefore,

  240. the kingdom of heaven may be compared to

  241. a king who wished to settle accounts with

  242. his servants.

  243. When he began to settle, one was brought

  244. to him who owed him 10,000 talents. And

  245. since he could not pay,

  246. his master ordered him to be sold with

  247. his wife and children and all that he

  248. had and payment to be made. Now last

  249. night, while I was sitting here,

  250. getting ready to get up on stage and

  251. speak, ChatGPT helped me out. Gave me like

  252. a modern day kind of thing. We figured

  253. it out earlier in the week, but I'm

  254. like, what about now? What's ChatGPT have to

  255. say? And if ChatGPT is right, we're talking

  256. about $6,000,000,000.

  257. We figured it earlier this week. It's about

  258. $13,000,000,000

  259. to give you

  260. a scale. Okay? So the the kind of

  261. debt that we're talking about is

  262. massive

  263. to the point of being

  264. unpayable.

  265. You can never pay the debt. It's a

  266. really important point

  267. in the story.

  268. So the servant fell on his knees imploring

  269. him, have patience with me and I will

  270. pay you everything.

  271. And out of pity for him, the master

  272. of that servant released him and forgave him

  273. the debt.

  274. But when the servant went out, he found

  275. one of his fellow servants who owed him

  276. a 100 denarii and seizing him he began

  277. to choke him saying,

  278. Pay what you owe.

  279. In today's dollars, about $10,000.

  280. He owes 6,000,000,000

  281. that was forgiven,

  282. but you're gonna pay me the 10,000.

  283. So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded

  284. with him, have patience with me and I

  285. will pay you.

  286. He refused and went and put him in

  287. prison until he should pay the debt.

  288. When his fellow servants saw what had taken

  289. place, they were greatly distressed and they went

  290. and reported to their master all that had

  291. taken place.

  292. Then his master summoned him and said to

  293. him, you wicked servant.

  294. I forgave you all that debt because you

  295. pleaded with me.

  296. And should not you have had mercy on

  297. your fellow servant as I had mercy on

  298. you?

  299. And in anger his master delivered him to

  300. the jailers, to the tormentors

  301. until he should pay all his debt.

  302. So also my heavenly father will do to

  303. every one of you if you do not

  304. forgive your brother from your heart. Now when

  305. Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away

  306. from Galilee and entered the region of Judea

  307. by the Jordan.

  308. If you write in your Bibles, that that

  309. last part there, the end of chapter 18,

  310. should be underlined,

  311. starred, highlighted, circled, all the things

  312. because it's the point of the parable,

  313. and it's great. It's a huge warning, and

  314. throughout this week, I I kind of wrestled

  315. from the time we went from sermon meeting

  316. and we went through this week until this

  317. weekend. I'm like, it's really important that we

  318. would know the magnitude of the warning.

  319. That that this is something that's he doesn't

  320. say like if you feel like it.

  321. He says this is what's gonna happen.

  322. If you if you're a person who says,

  323. I I could never, I will never,

  324. we're gonna talk about the hard truth.

  325. Here's the hard truth.

  326. Maybe you don't know grace,

  327. maybe you haven't experienced

  328. the supernatural

  329. forgiveness of God, of a debt that you

  330. could never pay.

  331. Maybe that's an indicator

  332. in your life

  333. that you don't really

  334. grasp

  335. what the debt that Christ paid,

  336. the debt that's been forgiven.

  337. Because if we grasp that,

  338. if we grasp that,

  339. we're certainly going to be people who say,

  340. I know it's difficult, maybe even seems impossible

  341. to me, but I'm going to pass that

  342. along. And there's something to keep in your

  343. back of your mind

  344. as we go through the rest of this,

  345. this weekend, the rest of this message.

  346. Jesus

  347. thinks this is possible.

  348. This is built

  349. on Jesus

  350. believing this is possible.

  351. So if in your mind you're saying that's

  352. not possible, I could never,

  353. you're not arguing with me.

  354. You're arguing with Jesus

  355. who says

  356. this is the expectation

  357. that we would be people who pass along

  358. this kind of forgiveness.

  359. This got all in my business. I'm already

  360. all up in yours, so let's go.

  361. Here's the deal. We're called to cancel offenses,

  362. not track them. We're called to cancel

  363. offenses, not track them, and this goes against

  364. everything within us. Jesus connects the dots for

  365. Peter by using a Biblical story. In Genesis

  366. chapter four, there's a guy who shows up

  367. by the name of Lamech. He's a descendant

  368. of Cain, and Cain was the first murderer

  369. in the Bible. So,

  370. you've got this lineage

  371. from Cain to Lamech,

  372. and it's a family line of violence.

  373. And so

  374. Lamech says, if Cain's revenge is sevenfold,

  375. then Lamech's is 70 sevenfold.

  376. He's not setting a limit. He's declaring

  377. that Lamech's

  378. payment is

  379. unlimited

  380. vengeance.

  381. Lamech represents

  382. the world's system.

  383. If you

  384. offended me

  385. to a certain level,

  386. you

  387. don't deserve

  388. forgiveness.

  389. And the gospel says

  390. it doesn't matter if they deserve it.

  391. It doesn't matter if they deserve it. It

  392. doesn't matter if they ask for it. It

  393. doesn't matter if they want it.

  394. It doesn't matter if they humble themselves and

  395. come and ask for it.

  396. There's something that that has to happen within

  397. us.

  398. And somebody said that Jesus takes this saying

  399. and he flips it upright, the world's thinking

  400. is upside down and so Jesus comes and

  401. he takes Lamech's thinking and he flips it

  402. upright

  403. and what happens is he gives us a

  404. representation

  405. of what it looks like to live in

  406. the kingdom. And so 70 times seven is

  407. an idiom of limitless forgiveness.

  408. This 77 times.

  409. It's not saying count to them. It's it's

  410. just a way of saying

  411. don't count. There's unlimited forgiveness.

  412. Stop counting.

  413. This is the overflow of something deeper.

  414. It's the overflow of the work of Jesus

  415. in us.

  416. It's the overflow,

  417. that we've really grasped

  418. forgiveness because forgiveness stops being a decision that

  419. we that we make and it starts becoming

  420. who we are. The more that we understand

  421. the gospel, the more that that plays out

  422. in our life. How would I not forgive

  423. when I'm forgiven? And then once again, it's

  424. complicated. Does it mean? It does not mean

  425. that we just go back and we pretend

  426. like something didn't happen.

  427. It's not like we just pretend that the

  428. offense didn't didn't occur.

  429. Because when we do that with Jesus, if

  430. we pretend like the offense didn't occur, occur,

  431. what happens?

  432. We forget.

  433. The offense occurred,

  434. and because the offense occurred,

  435. it keeps me humble under the rule of

  436. Jesus,

  437. and I recognize my need for Jesus, the

  438. one who has forgiven my debt.

  439. And so when I I think about relationships

  440. with other people, I I don't just go

  441. and maybe put myself in the same situation.

  442. I'm wise.

  443. It requires wisdom,

  444. but it requires a work inside. He says

  445. that this is a forgiveness in the heart,

  446. and so what we're talking about is grace

  447. received must become grace given.

  448. That's the story.

  449. The grace that I've received is the grace

  450. that I pass on and it does require

  451. wisdom.

  452. It requires wisdom.

  453. Because here's the thing, Jesus says you must

  454. forgive them in your heart and that doesn't

  455. look like this.

  456. Somebody has offended you.

  457. They don't know it.

  458. Or maybe even they do.

  459. In your wrestling you're like, You know what?

  460. I do. I have to forgive them. I

  461. have to forgive them in my heart.

  462. So because I've forgiven them, I wanna make

  463. sure that they know.

  464. So I'm gonna tell them,

  465. Hey, by the way, you hurt my feelings

  466. and I've forgiven you.

  467. Don't do that.

  468. That's the wrong answer, okay? You just took

  469. your forgiveness and made it about you,

  470. And now they have to forgive you.

  471. You just passed it along.

  472. Now you're like Now they're sitting there going,

  473. Hey, I'm glad that you forgave me for

  474. my offense. Now I gotta forgive you for

  475. your offense because I'm offended at you.

  476. Now we're in this cycle.

  477. Don't do that.

  478. If it's real, if it's genuine, if it's

  479. something that he's doing within you, you don't

  480. have to declare it to the other person.

  481. Now if a person comes to you and

  482. they've offended you and you've followed Christ in

  483. that and you've forgiven them and they come

  484. to you and they say to you,

  485. I'm sorry.

  486. I did this thing to you,

  487. please forgive me. Well then it would be

  488. appropriate for you to say, I've already forgiven

  489. you.

  490. I've already forgiven you. We're good. I've forgiven

  491. you. There's no offense to be forgiven.

  492. I've forgiven you.

  493. And it's also the reason why we need

  494. to stop calling Matthew 18 the the church

  495. discipline chapter. It turns out it's not about

  496. that.

  497. It's about life in the kingdom. We should

  498. call it the kingdom life.

  499. Humble, pursuing others, living within the body of

  500. Christ,

  501. forgiving as we're forgiven,

  502. chasing each other down when we go astray,

  503. caring for one another, living in community

  504. with each other.

  505. You see, withholding forgiveness contradicts the gospel we

  506. can aim to believe

  507. and that's why we started with a warning.

  508. If we absolutely

  509. refuse to embrace

  510. the forgiveness

  511. of Christ in the lives of other people,

  512. forgiveness in our hearts, we're saying, I don't

  513. know that I really believe it or at

  514. least

  515. my allegiance isn't with Jesus. My allegiance is

  516. somewhere else. My allegiance is most likely to

  517. me.

  518. So what does the gospel actually look like

  519. when it's lived out? It looks like this

  520. parable.

  521. When someone truly understands that the king has

  522. forgiven them,

  523. it lets us be transformed

  524. in how we treat others.

  525. Once again, not pretending that the offense didn't

  526. happen,

  527. Forgiving is not forgetting.

  528. It's remembering

  529. but without exacting payment.

  530. It's not throwing it in someone else's face,

  531. it's saying it's been redeemed. I've forgiven it.

  532. You see, real forgiveness

  533. reflects Jesus' heart and it defines life in

  534. his kingdom.

  535. So when you step back and you look

  536. at the whole parable,

  537. that's what Jesus has been showing them.

  538. This isn't really about the other person or

  539. what they did when you look at it.

  540. It's not about the person who has offended

  541. you, it's about you.

  542. This is the irony of this.

  543. Your entire life in God's kingdom is built

  544. on one foundation.

  545. You've been shown

  546. mercy you didn't

  547. deserve.

  548. You've been shown mercy you didn't deserve.

  549. You know what that's called? That's good news.

  550. You've been shown mercy you didn't deserve.

  551. That $6,000,000,000

  552. thing you could never pay?

  553. Wow.

  554. Forgiven.

  555. Paid

  556. by Christ.

  557. But here's the honest part, the grace we're

  558. called to give doesn't work like a light

  559. switch. It's It's not something you can just

  560. go, Oh okay, I heard this today. I'm

  561. gonna walk out of here. Oop, problem solved.

  562. Last three years of my life I've been

  563. struggling with this thing, but now I guess

  564. I'm not.

  565. No. It requires that we embrace the process.

  566. I'm gonna use in a a baseball analogy,

  567. because it just works for this.

  568. Trust the process. And so here's what happens

  569. in baseball. In baseball,

  570. being a hitter is very difficult. Hitting a

  571. baseball, it's very

  572. difficult.

  573. You know it's difficult

  574. because if you're a professional baseball

  575. player and you hit a baseball

  576. and get on base one third of the

  577. time,

  578. do you know what happens to you?

  579. You end up in the hall of fame

  580. as one of the greatest baseball players who

  581. ever played.

  582. It's hard.

  583. And sometimes they get they get in slumps

  584. where they they're doing all the things,

  585. but they're not getting on base. They have

  586. to trust the process. They have to trust,

  587. okay, I'm gonna work with my coach. I'm

  588. gonna work with my hitting coach. Do you

  589. know what professional baseball players do you know

  590. who they work with?

  591. They're making multimillion

  592. dollars

  593. and they're working with a swing coach. Do

  594. you know what golfers do who are making

  595. multimillion

  596. dollars? They work with a swing coach.

  597. As followers of Christ,

  598. there's wisdom here for us.

  599. What's it look like for us to to

  600. be open to seeking wise counsel, to to

  601. going, Wow, I've not been able to figure

  602. this one out. I need to clude other

  603. people,

  604. not to bash the person who needs forgiveness,

  605. but what does that look like for me

  606. to work through this? What does this look

  607. like for me to work through this process?

  608. You see, forgiveness is a journey with Jesus

  609. empowered by the spirit over time.

  610. Forgiveness like this isn't something we can produce

  611. on our own. I don't believe this is

  612. something you can dig deeper and find. I

  613. believe that this is a supernatural work of

  614. people who are born through the spirit of

  615. God. People who are who have become new

  616. in Christ, followers of Christ,

  617. who've been born again or born from above,

  618. this is what John calls it,

  619. who are indwelt by the Spirit of God.

  620. That's what's required to see this kind of

  621. response. It's a spirit empowered response.

  622. And so Paul writes this to the church

  623. in Ephesus. He says, do not grieve the

  624. Holy Spirit of God

  625. by whom you were sealed for the day

  626. of redemption.

  627. Let all bitterness and wrath

  628. and anger and clamor and slander be put

  629. away from you along with all malice.

  630. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one

  631. another as God in Christ forgave you.

  632. Therefore,

  633. be imitators of God as beloved children

  634. and walk in love as Christ loved us

  635. and gave himself up for us a fragrant

  636. offering

  637. and sacrifice to God. That's the Spirit empowered

  638. life.

  639. That requires

  640. that we don't grieve the spirit, we obey

  641. the spirit.

  642. That we are yielded

  643. to the spirit so that we can actually

  644. be kind to one another.

  645. We can be tenderhearted,

  646. we can

  647. forgive one another as God in Christ forgave

  648. you. How did Jesus forgive

  649. you? Completely.

  650. It's an unlimited

  651. forgiveness.

  652. So forgiveness is the hard work of saying

  653. yes to Jesus

  654. again

  655. and again and you could add like a

  656. bunch more agains.

  657. Again and again and again and again until

  658. it's really annoying. Keep saying that to yourself.

  659. How many times? And again

  660. and yet again. You keep offending me.

  661. And you forgive

  662. yet again. Now it doesn't mean that you

  663. don't address relational problems. It doesn't mean that

  664. you don't seek counseling. It doesn't mean that

  665. you just keep letting the same situation

  666. play out and you become, you know, just

  667. a an emotional punching bag. No. It does

  668. mean that because of forgiveness

  669. you step into the situation.

  670. I don't hold your offense against you

  671. by stepping into the offense.

  672. Forgiveness

  673. demonstrates our allegiance to Jesus

  674. and living under his reign in our everyday

  675. lives. This is the culmination of real life

  676. with Jesus in his kingdom that this is

  677. what this looks like. It looks like a

  678. life that has submitted to the rule and

  679. reign of Christ.

  680. We've humbled ourselves

  681. under the authority of Christ.

  682. We're connected with other followers of Jesus.

  683. We go after those who strayed

  684. and we forgive with a supernatural forgiveness that

  685. comes from the spirit of God alone.

  686. Forgiveness

  687. demonstrates

  688. ultimately

  689. who I believe.

  690. Do I believe Jesus

  691. or not? So real life with Jesus in

  692. his kingdom is fueled by grace demonstrated by

  693. unlimited

  694. forgiveness

  695. And the question is always, so what will

  696. you do with it? This week,

  697. we're headed towards a national holiday of celebrating

  698. Thanksgiving, right? We're heading toward that place of

  699. being grateful.

  700. And before we get there, I wanna encourage

  701. you that you would reconcile

  702. things in your own heart and mind.

  703. We can't possibly

  704. demonstrate

  705. thankfulness

  706. for the gospel

  707. and not pass along forgiveness.

  708. The hypocrisy

  709. of walking into thanksgiving saying, God, I'm so

  710. grateful.

  711. And yet harboring things against another person in

  712. our heart and mind who doesn't deserve our

  713. forgiveness,

  714. it it's the ultimate in hypocrisy.

  715. What are you grateful for?

  716. Well, I'm grateful for the 6,000,000,000 out of

  717. my account, but I'm still gonna look for

  718. all the 10 thousands people owe me.

  719. Or

  720. I'm grateful

  721. that I'm forgiven so that I can live

  722. in the freedom of Christ. And so my

  723. story, it it played out over time. I

  724. I had deep wounds because

  725. the offense against me wasn't just against me.

  726. It wasn't just that I lost a job.

  727. It wasn't just that. It was like, woah,

  728. this this impacted my whole family. This was

  729. a wound that that impacted all of us

  730. and so I I wrestled with it over

  731. time and it began, it was always on

  732. the front of my mind.

  733. And I wrestled through it because it's like,

  734. God, I don't think I should have to.

  735. I wrestled with God for a couple years

  736. and I finally had to come to grips

  737. with the fact that I was mad at

  738. Jesus, I was mad at the world,

  739. I was working it out slowly through the

  740. power of the spirit, it wasn't something that

  741. happened in an instant.

  742. And then do you know what happened?

  743. There were other offenses by other people that

  744. started mounting up as well.

  745. All of a sudden it felt like, wow

  746. I have this huge gaping wound and now

  747. I have all these other little

  748. stab wounds to go along with it.

  749. How's this ever gonna work out? And so

  750. I I was working it through my mind

  751. from last night until today.

  752. It is probably

  753. about six years later.

  754. It's about six years later

  755. and,

  756. I ran into him at a conference.

  757. Where do you run into people at a

  758. conference? In a bathroom? Of course, that's where

  759. you're gonna run into people, right? I ran

  760. into him, I was like, Woah,

  761. hello.

  762. And I realized something in that moment.

  763. I realized that God had done a supernatural

  764. work over time.

  765. That there had been something through the intentional

  766. work of allowing the spirit of God to

  767. transform my heart and mind, because when I

  768. saw him, I didn't

  769. feel the emotion of how dare you, how

  770. could you. I was able to smile, I

  771. was able to to go,

  772. with a genuine kind of way, Hey, how

  773. are you? What's going on in your world?

  774. And here's ultimately what what happened is God

  775. revealed that that this was something in the

  776. back of my mind while forgiveness had happened

  777. over time, it was so gradual, I didn't

  778. even realize the completion of it until he

  779. revealed it to me through an encounter with

  780. a person. It doesn't make any sense. I

  781. still to this day believe it was the

  782. supernatural kindness of God to allow me to

  783. encounter him in that restroom,

  784. as weird as that sounds.

  785. And in that moment,

  786. I knew that forgiveness had brought healing,

  787. not to our relationship,

  788. not to the relationship between the two of

  789. us,

  790. but to me. Because the irony of forgiveness

  791. is that it restores you.

  792. It restores you.

  793. You may have heard this before,

  794. it's a common phrase that you have a

  795. person living rent free in your head.

  796. There's someone that they're always on your mind,

  797. they're coming to mind, they're the person when

  798. we're talking about today, it's the first thing

  799. that came to mind, they are hanging out

  800. and they are living there and they're paying

  801. no rent,

  802. and what they're doing is they're keeping you

  803. in bondage.

  804. You're not experiencing the freedom of the gospel.

  805. You're not experiencing

  806. the freedom of Christ because you've not extended

  807. forgiveness.

  808. As followers of Jesus, we forgive

  809. because we're forgiven.

  810. You may have heard this before,

  811. forgiveness

  812. is based on forgiveness.

  813. It's not based on a qualifying

  814. ask, it's not based on deserving, it's not

  815. based on,

  816. somebody

  817. just having a deep regret and finally they

  818. got to the point where you're like, Okay,

  819. I'll forgive you. No, it is an unconditional

  820. supernatural thing that's through the spirit of God

  821. as we yield and humble ourselves to His

  822. power at work in us.

  823. So my encouragement to you is, go to

  824. work.

  825. Embrace the process.

  826. Don't write it off.

  827. Maybe you are five

  828. levels

  829. removed.

  830. And I wanna encourage you, I wanna encourage

  831. you this week, listen to the podcast, it's

  832. in the Live It Out Guide. Listen to

  833. the podcast, we worked through some of this

  834. in there. It's not simple.

  835. It's not just a decision that you make

  836. and you move on and it's not something

  837. that you go, well, it's all gonna work

  838. out in the end. It's not.

  839. Without you embracing the supernatural

  840. work of God in your heart and mind

  841. to extend grace in a way that's beyond

  842. your ability.

  843. That's what

  844. the church is.

  845. This is the picture of life in God's

  846. kingdom.

  847. To be these people. We need each other.

  848. We need each other when we're like, man,

  849. I don't know what to do.

  850. This is the relationship that I have. This

  851. is the relationship that ended. This is the

  852. the thing where I am. This is the

  853. person who walked out the door on me,

  854. this is the business partner who betrayed me

  855. and walked away with a bazillion dollars, whatever

  856. that may be. Now I wanna say to

  857. you, this parable is not about money.

  858. Don't don't misapply the parable. Once again, doesn't

  859. mean that if the spirit of God says,

  860. Hey, forgive the real debt that they have,

  861. that you should, but it's not a command

  862. that anybody who might owe you money doesn't

  863. owe you money. Okay? That is not what

  864. this parable is about. This is about forgiveness.

  865. The supernatural work of God in our heart

  866. and minds.

  867. And once again, I'm not saying the spirit

  868. of God might not say,

  869. you need to give, forgive the actual

  870. financial obligation.

  871. Just saying, Don't use this parable to do

  872. it.

  873. So here's the question, I want to encourage

  874. you, and before I do.

  875. So it's one thing to say, Reach out

  876. for help, it's another thing to give you

  877. a resource. So there's two resources. One way

  878. you can reach out for help is by

  879. buying a book called Forgive by Timothy Keller

  880. and going through the process and using the

  881. appendix in the back. There's four of them.

  882. To work through the process. What's it look

  883. like for me to allow the spirit of

  884. God to use scripture to change my heart

  885. and mind over time?

  886. Another way is you might need counseling, you

  887. might need somebody to come alongside and help

  888. you in that process and that's

  889. why we wanna encourage you to reach out

  890. for a referral.

  891. Don't keep doing the same thing.

  892. Change course

  893. and don't think, oh, I'll do that someday.

  894. We want to encourage you, don't delay because

  895. the longer that we delay, especially from weekends,

  896. the longer that we delay in following through,

  897. the chances that we'll follow through, they they

  898. start to decrease exponentially.

  899. And so I want to encourage you follow

  900. through.

  901. Here's the question though,

  902. that I'm gonna ask us to all wrestle

  903. with.

  904. Where is Jesus asking you to pursue Him,

  905. so that you can forgive

  906. like Him?

  907. I do believe the lack of forgiveness is

  908. out of a lack of pursuit.

  909. If we're pursuing Christ,

  910. forgiveness becomes a lot easier.

  911. When I grasp what Jesus is doing in

  912. me,

  913. extending that onto other people

  914. is a lot easier.

  915. And so I want to encourage you, ask

  916. that question. I'm gonna give you like twenty

  917. seconds.

  918. Where is Jesus asking you to pursue Him

  919. so that you can forgive like Him? And

  920. and hold it captive, write it down, maybe

  921. like, I don't even gotta write that down,

  922. I know, I know that.

  923. Ask him that

  924. question.

  925. So over the next couple of days, my

  926. encouragement to you is to do the work.

  927. Use the Live It Out guide. Over the

  928. next couple days, as we head and we

  929. celebrate

  930. Thanksgiving, as we celebrate our gratefulness

  931. to God for all the abundance of blessings

  932. in in our world and in our lives,

  933. let's begin by doing the hard work,

  934. trusting the process that that as we do,

  935. we'll experience a gratefulness

  936. we could never have known

  937. any other way. Now in all of our

  938. venues, I'm gonna invite you to stand. Father,

  939. we are grateful that you're a God who's

  940. led us out of darkness and into the

  941. light. And we pray that this week we

  942. would be people who walk in the light

  943. of the truth of the gospel.

  944. We declare your praise now in Jesus name.

  945. Amen.