Parenting in the Early Years (Prov. 19:18) (8/30/26)

We are continuing, this is the second sermon

on parenting. Last week we did study Deuteronomy

6, we'll reference that here in just a moment.

What we've been working on all summer is the

Christian foundations, God's created order, male

and female, how that leads to marriage for God's

glory and the benefit of the world, and a whole

host of things. As we work through marriage,

part of marriage is to be fruitful and multiply

and to raise up godly children. So we've got

one more sermon after this to kind of round this

out. But let us now go before the Lord today

and ask for his blessing. O Lord our God bless

us in your service and make us strong in our

family life, especially with the gift of children

which you graciously bestow upon us. Strengthen

us that we might serve you acceptably that we

might do your will here upon earth Grant us by

your spirit that the words of my mouth and the

meditations of all our hearts be pleasing your

sight Oh God for the sake of your son Jesus amen

As you often have noticed I generally preach

a whole passage and draw out God's truth. Today

is a little more thematic, right? We're parenting

in the early years, and so we have one starting

or one launching verse that brings us into that,

and then of course we'll touch in on lots of

scriptures along the way. Our verse today is

from Proverbs 19, 18. Proverbs 19, 18. Chasing

your son while there is hope, and do not set

your heart. on His destruction. These are the

words of Almighty God. Receive them in your hearts.

The theologian and father of ten, Peter Lightheart

says this, when Christians look for help with

parenting, they often look for some kind of magic

bullet, some kind of potion that will make their

kids obedient, some technique that will solve

everything and solve it fairly and effortlessly.

He now says this, there are no special tricks.

We become good parents to the extent that we

become more like our Father who has revealed

Himself to us in Jesus. And we become more like

Jesus by following and keeping in step with the

Spirit of Jesus. As we go through our study here

today, there are four things that I want you

to take from this. And these are those things.

What is the destination in parenting? What is

the destination in parenting? That is the goal.

Now, as we talk about this, today we're talking

about the early years, right? And I'm gonna explain

what I mean by that just shortly. You'll say,

but you didn't cover it all. Well, that's because

we're doing this in portions. All right. Number

two, there is life in the rod of discipline.

There is life in the rod of discipline. Thirdly,

timeliness of discipline. Timeliness of discipline.

And then finally, the steps of biblical discipline,

the steps of biblical discipline. And one of

the things, if you've noticed, I was a little

late last night in getting out the supporting

scriptures, these three points, the charge. But

yesterday or last night's notice in the realm

that gives you all that information, I included

a detailed covering of the points I'm going to

make. regarding the steps of biblical discipline

so you can review those later and maybe even

keep them in a prominent place at your house

to remind yourself of them. Now according to

the Bible, our children are saints. They are

given to us to turn around and be given to the

Lord, given in baptism, and then return to their

parents to be raised up in the fear and admonition

of the Lord. Last week, We heard God's instruction

from Deuteronomy chapter 6 that parents are to

Deuteronomy 6 · chapter mention

teach God's law diligently, teaching in word

and deed to our children to bind God's law on

their hand. Remember, we talked about that. And

thus, guiding them and restraining them in all

that they have authority over. And they do that

all for the glory of God. Finally, we were admonished.

that God's word is to be the lens for understanding

the world and everything in it. I'm gonna pause

right here and say this. Children, remember what

I said to you last week. I want you to pay attention,

especially if you're eight years old or older,

really pay attention. I want you to hear what

your parents are being instructed in and you

will too also learn, you will learn children

what your parents are aiming for and so how you

can work. with them. You'll begin to understand

just a little bit about what your parents are

doing. God relates to us using covenants. That's

a big word in some ways. A covenant is simply

this. It is a God -structured and imposed relationship

with corresponding blessings and curses. God

has come into our life. He's interrupted us.

He said, I am your God. He's called you out of

your pagan, your unbelieving. Place said you're

mine You're baptized God's name is placed upon

you and so everything else now on in your life

is corresponding to that baptism You're his and

all you do Is in relationship to God's promises

to you, but you know what those promises have?

Blessings I would have put your hands asked you

to put your hand up and say who wants the blessings

of God? I would hope everybody would raise their

hand, and in some cases, some of you would be

sticking both hands up. That's great. We love

the blessings of God. And we often don't spend

enough time looking at the curses that happen

when we don't follow God, when we walk away from

the covenant of God. Dearly beloved, by the grace

of God and His sovereign merciful providence,

We have been delivered from our sin by Jesus'

work on the cross. He sits on His throne of grace

interceding for us. Oh, what joy that is. What

a blessing that is for all of us. King Jesus,

as our high priest, sympathizes with us and our

weaknesses. Whereas Hebrews 4 tells us, He was

tempted in all points, as we are, and was without

sin. We're told that Jesus himself grew in wisdom

and stature and now is our priest, king, and

prophet. He's all those things. If we're to be

conformed to Christ, that is the pattern for

us all, whether you're a child or whether you're

an adult. We'll talk more about this priest,

king, prophet motif. I'm going to introduce it

a little bit here. as it relates to the early

years. But really, for all of us, even as adults,

this is the progression of life. We'll talk more

about that next week when we talk about training

up our older children. We are called, as Romans

13, 14 tells us, to be clothed with Christ Jesus,

making no provision for the lust of the flesh.

That is the sinful nature. As redeemed saints

of God, we are no longer in bondage to sin, and

yet the sinful nature still remains in us to

put away, to be put away, and for us to joyfully

obey God in all things. And every adult in the

room says amen and praise God. Parents, do not

be deceived. Every single one of your baptized

children are in God's covenant. And yet, they're

still sinners, needing the grace of God provided

for in the blood of Jesus. God has called every

parent in here to parenthood. You can't say,

all right, I have a child, but I don't think

I'm called to parenthood. No. If God has given

you children, you are called to parenthood. As

you already know, God's ordinary means of sanctification

is other people. I've said that to you many times,

right? Because what brings out your selfishness?

What brings out your irritation, your self -preservation,

your own desires? It's when somebody else in

your life, and again I'll point out, by God's

design. gets in your life and creates what you

think is a hardship or you don't like. And what

flows up out of us? Our sin. So, moms, dads,

don't be shocked when your children do those

things. And yes, you have to guard yourself so

that you are not being a bad teacher in this

way. We are confronted by our own sinful natures

by virtue of the grace of God Providing us a

household of sinners wait what? God has given

us he's provided us a household of sinners in

whom we are responsible for We're gonna beg God

and instruct our children as God commanded we

need the whole counsel of God's Word. God not

only gives us His life -giving laws, commands,

and statutes, but here's something else He gives

us. By virtue of the history that we read about,

the stories that we read about, that God has

provided for us in His holy Word, we get case

study after case study of why only God's words

are the words of life. God's word is not only

an owner's manual, right, but it is also a map.

Dearly beloved, mankind, every person, marriage

and parenting is for the glory of God and the

benefit of the world. As parents, it is good

not only to know certain rules, but to have guidance.

from all of God's Word so that we are able to

make God -pleasing disciples. And that is part

of the final destination of parenting. That is

to say, what's the outcome that we're looking

for? How do we use God's Word to understand and

move forward? The destination of parenting is

right here. Here's the destination. Children.

grandchildren who joyfully worship God in all

areas of life. Not just when they come to church

on Sunday, not just when you do your family devotions,

not just when they're doing the spiritual things

that you think are service to others, but in

every aspect of their life. Is that not what

you desire? To see your children joyfully serving

the Lord, whether it's at their job, in their

households, in their marriages. how they treat

their neighbors, how they even treat the dog.

All these things matter. We want our children

taking dominion, being fruitful, and multiplying

in all things to the glory of God and the benefit

of the world. God's model to get there is the

priest -king -prophet model. The case study of

this example of parenting is the children of

Israel. The priestly stage in the Bible is from

Exodus through Judges. And it is a stage full

of detailed instructions about everything. Just

like with small children, what do you need to

do? Don't touch that socket. Don't run in the

street. Don't do this. Wait. Do this over here.

It's very, very detailed. When God calls his

people out of the bondage of Egypt, what does

he do? He passes them through the waters of the

Red Sea. We're told in 1 Corinthians 10 that

that was their baptism. They pass through that

and then he comes out and says, okay, you need

to be the people of God and I'm going to give

you all these different things to do. He's going

to tell you then what not to do and he's going

to tell them what to do. in excruciatingly painful

details. Have you ever read those parts of scriptures,

mom and dads, with your children? And you're

like, why do we have to read about every single

tribe's gifts? Why do we have to do all that?

Why is it repeated again and again and again

and again and again? Isn't that parenting? Repeating.

Again and again and again. They were building

a place to worship God so they could become the

priest and the blessings to the world. And of

course, what did they do? They failed in all

this many ways. And ultimately, we know they

failed at their priestly duties and caused the

pagan nations to blaspheme God because of their

wickedness. Their calendar of life was centered

on the annual repetitions of God's law. That's

why I love the church calendar because it helps

us with this. But it wasn't just about God's

law, but it was mercy and justice and grace and

feasting to the glory of God and the benefit

of the world. That's what all these things were

for. The priestly stage of parenting is roughly

from infancy to age seven. need to know their

children's identity. We've talked about this

in many ways. We need to understand their frame

and their understanding and their status of having

remaining sin. And all of this requires the repetitions

of rules and consequences and how to do the good

things. The kingly stage. And there are some

transitioning stages, too. You gotta understand

that. So the kingly stage is primarily 11 to

15, but there's a transition. Different kids

mature at different rates. They have different

understandings. If you have more than one child,

you recognize that your children have different

personalities and respond to different things

in different ways. Some children come onto it

quick. Some children a little more, how shall

we say it, hard -headed. I had a couple of my

daughters, as you know, I have six daughters

and two sons, but I had a couple of my daughters

where I had to brush their hair, because they

were pretty ornery, would not sit still for their

mama doing it. Other ones were very cooperative

in that way. So this stage is a transition from

being told what to do at every point, to self

-rule, right? It's a kingly stage. They're moving

from simply being told what to do in every minutia

thing, every small thing, right? To self -rule

that garners more responsibility, that leads

to dominion and fruitfulness in a way that glorifies

God and benefits others. The pinnacle of child

rearing. is the life stage of the prophet, 15

to 18, and I would even argue goes beyond this.

But this stage is where men and women no longer

are simply ruling as kings in action, but are

then transferring wisdom, knowledge, grace, and

mercy, and the fear of the Lord to others, lifting

them up as they themselves diminish. If I could

use a high school analogy on this, think about

team sports, right? Usually there's upperclassmen

that are the captains. And part of what those

captains need to do, particularly as seniors,

is to do what? To take all their wisdom and all

the stuff they've learned and be able to transfer

it to others because they're moving on to another

stage. They're going to another place in life.

Again, I'm going to point out to you right now,

because we talked about this last week, and I'll

mention again, everybody, if you're older in

here, your kids are gone. Yes, but you take vows

to help those families every time a child's baptized,

right? Isn't that what we do? So even if you're

older and your kids are gone, you're here to

assist these families. But every one of us need

to understand this on the long -term part of

life. You got that priestly part where you have

to be told everything. You didn't know anything

about Christ. You have to be told everything,

everything, everything, again and again and again.

And then pretty soon you realize, man, and dads,

a lot of you are in this stage right now. I got

to be a king. I got to rule. I got to do this.

I have all this authority. And I got to do all

these things. Yes, that's right. And God gives

you all kinds of instructions. But you have to

move from simply knowing it to the wise application

of it. And then you're going to transfer. And

as you get older, older folks in the room, myself

included, this is part of how you parent older

children, is you become the prophet in their

life. Right? Not the king. You're not ruling

over them. No, they've gone and started their

own lives. Now, you're no longer ruling in their

lives. What you are doing is advising them. as

a friend of God to tell them the right things

to do, how to be a good king. You're not being

the king for them. And here's the thing, what

you need to be aiming for is you want to get

more and more and more out of their way. You're

still speaking to them, but you're moving out

of their way. You diminish so that they may be

raised up. now Just like seniors if there's a

couple seniors in here, okay, just like as your

older students guess what? Right. I'm not saying

don't regard your parents because now you're

older and you've got all this no no no look to

your older fathers Both your biological and those

in the church listen to them Wrestle with their

thoughts think about this when when King ray

of bone Solomon's King is raised up to the king.

He listens to his buddies, who are about 40 years

old, by the way, and he disregarded all the older

wise counsel. Sometimes we think those guys,

they're out of touch. They don't have any understanding,

these older guys. I know they made mistakes and

they had their day. Yeah, that's right, they're

not kings anymore. But they have lived, they

have wrestled with God, and just like Jacob's

blessing, when Jacob is wrestling with God and

he's holding on tight and he says, I'm not gonna

let go till you give me a blessing. What does

God do? He blesses him all right by putting his

hip out of socket. Why did he do that? Have you

ever pondered that? Well, there's a reason for

this. It's because God says, you know what? Your

kingly days are over. Your days of going and

doing the shepherding are over. Because now you

can't run and chase the sheep. What do you have

to do now? You have to step back and tell others

how to do it. And I've got to tell you, as a

dad sometimes, and I'm sure Jacob was this way,

he tells them what to do. They go out and do

it. He can see them, and they get farther away.

He's gripping, thinking, Lord, have mercy. He's

gripping, because I've told him things and they're,

oh, man. So this kind of gives us this pattern.

You may have noticed this pattern. It's likened

into the trivium in classical Christian education.

Christians need to see this pattern of scripture

and so apply it. The early stages of parenting

are centered around the hard patient repetitive

teaching Correcting and administering discipline

as our third as our theme verse says today from

Proverbs 19 Chasing your son while there's hope

and do not set your heart on his destruction

This reminds us This reminds us that there has

to be a timeliness to what we're doing. There's

a short time. Parents, I know when your kids

are small, it's difficult. And if you have been

neglectful either in ignorance or in practice,

okay, willful practice or ignorance, it's not

too late. I'll tell you, my wife and I, I'm trying

to assure you while I'm setting this all up,

my wife and I really didn't get the full understanding

of good parenting till Child number five. At

five, we started to really get a handle on it

and understand it to its fully. And then we had

to discipline ourselves to put it in practice.

And guess what? Some of the older ones took to

it more easily, and others didn't. Right? If

we neglect the word of God and do not chasten

teaching and administering the rod, we're failing

at binding the Word of God to our children in

a timely manner. That scripture says, while there's

hope, if we're not timely, we have by our own

disobedience set our heart on our child's destruction.

This does not deny the work of God in their life.

I'm not denying the gospel and God's sovereign

work. Our children are delivered by the work

of Christ alone, and yet God gives us the task

to bring them up in His nurture and admonition.

Again, you've heard me say at baptism many times,

conditions do not nullify grace. Grace enables

us to fulfill the conditions. And that's a work

of God himself through Christ Jesus. Children

need to know what God is like if they are to

imitate God. Our children need to grow in the

knowledge, wisdom, fear, and love of God. This

requires, as Psalm 103, beginning in verse 13

tells us, as a father pities his children, so

Yahweh pities those who fear him, for he knows

our frame. He remembers that we are dust. As

parents, we are to study God's Word and pray

and believe the promises of God so that we can

understand our children and where they are in

their varying stages or various stages of growing

towards Christian maturity, productivity, and

wisdom. They must be trained to submit to God.

and his authorities of which you are. If you

send your children to Sunday school or to a Christian

school or to a co -op, parents are delegating

your authority to those teachers. So they too

hold authority. Now it's authority that proceeds

from you as the parent. But they must be taught.

to submit to God and all his authorities. Children

must be taught that to disobey their father and

mother is first to disobey God. Your rules should

be centered around God's word. Parents, make

sure that you distinguish between rules for your

convenience, preferences, and dislikes in God's

law. I want to say that one more time. Parents,

make sure you distinguish between rules for your

convenience, preferences, and dislikes for God's

law. Now, I get that part of what we're doing

when we run our households is we are providing

some structure. God doesn't give us every little

detailed thing in there, and so some things are

gonna be set up just for running the household

well, right? And all kinds of things and if you've

talked to me or sat in my Sunday school classes

when I've taught on this You know, I learned

how to do all kinds of things and there's other

good resources other faithful men of God that

give you practical things on how to work stuff

out But but if if it's quiet if you're demanding

quiet from your kids Simply because you don't

want to hear the noise of God's covenant blessings

in your life. That's problem if you're irritated

because you stepped on a Lego and you bark out

at your kids over it, that's your convenience

that's being challenged, not right or wrong.

What's the solution? Well, how am I contributing?

What am I doing to help bring order so that they

love God, love His word, and you're considering

their frame? Do not be like the Pharisees who

added to the law for their benefit and glory.

And in doing so, Jesus said, bind heavy burdens

hard to bear and lay them on their disciples'

shoulders. Do not bind heavy burdens hard to

bear, laying them on your children's shoulders.

Our children must be taught to obey God's word.

This is how they learn to respond to God's word.

They must be taught to obey your word, to respond

to it. Okay? What I'm saying is, you should be

able to speak to your child, and then they should

do what you ask. Right? The right answer isn't

to get louder. Right? You're not listening. Now,

maybe there's a lot of noise, and you need to

raise your voice so you make sure they hear you.

Right? Or if they are in danger, they're running,

they don't see the car coming, they're chasing

a ball, and you give them a loud warning. That's

all permissible. What's not permissible is for

our kids to ignore our word and then for us to

become annoyed and start hollering. If they do

not respond when you speak, parents, you need

to get up and discipline them. Proverbs 29 -15

says, the rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child

left to himself brings shame to his mother. It

is both the rod and rebuke that bring wisdom.

We must make sure that our children heard and

understood the instruction. Parents, we think,

we often look at our children and we think they

made the obvious leap. They filled in the details.

When your children are small, not so. I'll even

argue as they get older what is so obvious to

us. Why don't they understand these things? Because

their brain hasn't developed that. They haven't

gotten that wisdom or understanding or had it

lovingly repeated to them until they get it.

Right? Have you ever been a parent where you

talk to your child and you've said something

to them? Many, many, many times. And then one

day they come home from being somewhere else

where they heard it from someone else and they

say it to you like, oh man, I totally understand

you, oh man. And you're like, I've told you that

so many times I can't even count. Right? Right?

The reality is we're all kind of hard headed.

Our sinful natures must be changed. Romans 12

tells us we need our minds renewed. Right, we

need the spirit of God and yet We're like, why

don't they understand why they don't get it?

Why why do I have to keep doing this? God doesn't

treat you with the same harshness that we often

treat our children You know, it's important that

we recognize that it isn't just talking or rebuking

but it does include the rod of discipline as

well Either one, either spanking the right of

discipline or talking in isolation is a dereliction

of duty and harmful to our children. If our children

are only trained to respond after repeated calls

or countdowns, then we are teaching them that

we don't mean what we say and we are catechizing

them that God is the same way. Too often we raise

our voice yelling at them and then they sometimes

believe that we mean what we say Too often, right?

We are teaching them to tune out God's Word unless

it is being shouted to us by hard circumstances

Again for every one of us in the room Lord have

mercy Parents can fall into the trap of tolerating

sin in their children Can you imagine this? For

their own pleasures and enjoyment. Parents, we

often don't want to pause our enjoyment of our

conversation or activities to our children's

demise and destruction. Fathers, mothers, stop

and love your children and discipline them. We

know that Psalm 127 and 128 tell us that children

are a blessing from the Lord, and yet our children's

sinful desires cause them to resist us. News

flash, we should expect opposition from our children.

As you know, admonishment means both instruction

and discipline, and we should respond this way

as Galatians 6 -1 tells us, By a trespass, you

who are spiritual restore such a one in the spirit

of gentleness, considering yourself lest you

also be tempted. Bear one another's burdens and

so fulfill the law of Christ. You're saying,

so if we reread this and say, if any child is

overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual,

that's your parents, restore such a one in the

spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest

you also be tempted. Tempted for what? If you

ask what on that, you're not being honest with

yourself. You're tempted to react out of anger

and impatience and aggravation instead of gentleness.

When our children are overtaken by a trespass,

we are to restore them knowing that we could

fall into temptation ourselves. Saints of God,

this is real important right here. Don't say

Listen, I know I'm a sinner. I know they're sinners

God's got this because he's made a promise Saints

of God do not presume upon God's mercy and grace

when we know better and Do not restrain our children

Both parents and children cannot be dominated

by our emotions We need to learn how to do our

duty even when we don't feel like it. Love and

fear of the Lord is the goal. That is love of

God. Love and fear of God is our goal. Do not

think. Do not fall into the idea that spanking

is not necessary. Proverbs 23, 13, and 14. Do

not withhold correction from a child, for if

you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You

shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul

from hell. Proverbs 13, 24. He who spares the

rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines

him promptly. That's important, timeliness, promptly.

And again, you gotta understand this. Right and

and I'm sorry if today takes a little longer,

but I'm trying to to bear with you and teach

you God's word on this, okay? Sometimes you got

to realize okay a two -year -old a three -year

-old four -year -old They don't have the capacity.

You can't say well just wait to it to a three

-year -old Just wait till your dad gets home.

No mama's you can't do that I'm not saying dad

can't call on the phone and give some admonition

there, but you're gonna need to discipline some

of that They don't have the capacity to link

those two is too long. They get older, there's

some opportunity for that to be sure. But remember

the frame of your children. Proverbs 22, 15,

foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child.

The rod of correction will drive it far from

him. We all want to see our children delivered

from hell. So we need to understand how to exercise

the rod of God. the rod of correction, well.

So when your child disobeys, I've got here five

points here, and again, I sent them to you before,

but five things to do, steps to biblical discipline.

Number one, identify sin, stop and get involved.

Call, or if necessary, go get the child. It's

gonna be tiresome. Right? The hardest thing is

to stay faithful on this. And you're like, I

keep doing this and doing this, and they're not

responding. Stick to it. Stick to it. Stick to

it. In love and patient and long suffering. Second,

tell them when you get this, this rebuke, you

need to tell them how they have broken God's

law. A lot of times we say, we get focused on

the wrong stuff. Instead of saying, God says

you obey your parents or or God says you don't

Strike another person or God said we say you

were being mean you weren't being nice all that's

irrelevant to the main thing Dr. Gary North in

his book on biblical justice says That the first

victim in any crime or offense is God himself

And we cannot be reconciled to one another unless

that person, that offendee of God is reconciled

to God first. That has to be our first focus,

which means as adults we have to lay aside the

fact that our children may have sinned against

us so that they can be reconciled to God. Be

like Christ, that's what Christ did. Number three,

we need to chastise our children. That is, spank

the child. Now, when we spank, it has to be measured

and planned, measured and planned, which means,

parents, you have to think about things ahead

of time. This sort of category requires this,

and this sort of offense requires that. Because

if you try to plan it when you're full of anger,

when you're bothered at the situation, you will

sin. Now, willful... Disobedience requires, again,

a measured spanking. You should have a predetermined

SWOT level and intensity. And of course, these

will change over time and should diminish in

regularity over time. My general recommendation

is when they're small, start with one. Sometimes

things will be two, but it might be one several

times over the course of the day. Different sins,

different times, looking at their frame. You

see, what we are trying to do is teach them that

sin causes pain and ultimately death. We're not

trying to damage our children. We're rather trying

to teach them the principle. And you want them

to get this early. Stay faithful in this early.

Number four, pray with your child for forgiveness

to God and then go and seek forgiveness from

those that they have sinned against. or in front

of. I want to mention something. Part of this

is when you go and get your child, if at all

possible, take them out of the room or out of

the space or in privacy. Deal with those there.

It's not there to embarrass them. It's not about

embarrassment. It's about sinning against God.

But you want to pray with them. And finally,

This is one that I find that most parents struggle

with, and most of the time they don't even recognize.

Number five is to restore the child to full fellowship.

So what I'm saying is, let's say they're misbehaving

at the table. You send them away. You go and

deal with them. Don't keep them away from the

table. They don't lose the meal. If they're repented,

restore them back to full fellowship. That is

what God does to you every single time. You confess.

your sins. And Jesus is faithful to forgive.

And God restores us back to full fellowship.

You need to do that. Teach your children. The

joyous thing. Maybe they're playing a game. Yeah,

you send them away. You might have to take a

minute to compose yourself. Then you go and you

deal with it. And then you come back. You know,

this is going to be a huge inconvenience to your

personal time and objectives. What does it profit

a man to gain the whole world, to get all your

objectives done, and your children and your wife,

your household loses their soul? Be inconvenienced

so that the glory of God may be found in your

children. Restore them to full fellowship. Just

a few more things. It's important that parents

realize that the heart's disposition is as important

as outward obedience. What do I mean by that?

We must realize that the attitude in which our

children are obeying is as important as them

actually obeying. So if our children obey with

their shoulders slumped, pouting, you got to

deal with that. They put themselves on the floor.

You got to deal with that. Yeah, maybe they get

it You say go obey after they throw themselves

on the floor. They go and they're all just emotionally

You know bound up wound up Their hearts not in

it You have to stop you need to chastise that

again in love and full restoration Have expectation.

Maybe you need to remind them Okay, a surly heart

that's that's emotionalism It's emotionally driven.

It is just as serious a sin as one who openly

rebels. Our world is full of lots of people that

on the outside look great, at least for a while.

But on the inside, there's death or whitewashed

tombs. Something else here for us to think about.

This starts when they're small, but this gains

momentum over time, right? Careless obedience

is a sin against God. So now we're moving from

real small, I'd say, to a little bit older. Careless

obedience is a sin against God. Actually, parents,

we probably don't want to think about that too

much as it relates to ourselves. Are we sloppy

in our obedience to God? Don't permit your children

to be sloppy in their obedience or careless.

Things like you set up a rhythm of you come in

the house, where do your things go? You have

a place for them, I imagine. How often have you

seen your kids walk in the door and it's just

everywhere? Everybody in the room has been that

way, right? Careless obedience is an offense

to God. Why are you to do these things to honor

God to show self -rule as you're growing older

to show that you're mature? So I want you to

to think about that finally Sometimes we as judges

in our households we come into a space because

we hear the noise and We think we know what's

going on as your kids get older Ask them questions

ask for eyewitnesses Don't come in presuming.

I am grateful as my children got older They were

not afraid to come to me and say dad you have

this wrong I know you think it's this over here,

but that's not what was going on Don't come in

presuming that you you are God you understand

the motives of the heart and everything that

went down in a place You couldn't even see what

was happening Listen to your children we must

either be a witness to the sin or it be established

by two or three witnesses. Be careful, children.

Don't lie about what your sibling, your brother

or sister did to you. God has seen it. And parents,

we can't always sort it out. Two or three witnesses

or your observation, deal with it. You can give

a warning, but I would admonish you not to bring

Chastisement, bring the rod when you don't know.

Our parenting goals are to see our children mature

through all three stages of priest, king, and

prophet. This means that Christian children are

to be taught to work, to deny ease. Children

must learn that strength and developing ability

and work is essential for our joyful contentment

and happiness. One more time, children must learn

that strength, developing ability and work is

essential for our joyful contentment and happiness.

They are not to be taught that self -worship

is okay and that the pursuit of happiness is

the goal of life. Remember, seek ye first the

kingdom of God. The things you're supposed to

be doing are what bring us blessing. Finally,

there's a common heresy that raises its ugly

head from time to time. It is assuming, our parents,

are you listening? It is assuming that the church

is not necessary for child rearing. As you know,

the church here takes a vow to assist the parents

in their calling at baptism. And by God's design,

we need each other more importantly. We need

each other. Most importantly, in the spirit in

the Lord's day. Word and sacrament are unique

to the church. We must remember that the family

is an institution that needs to be redeemed and

then it can be a blessing to the world, to the

glory of God. All this sometimes can seem overwhelming.

Faithful parenting, God honoring parenting can

seem overwhelming. Let us remember the words

of encouragement we have in 2 Corinthians chapter

2 Corinthians 9 · chapter mention

9. And God is able to make all grace abound toward

you, that you always having all sufficiency in

all things may have an abundance for every good

work. That sufficiency in all things includes

parenting. It is God's grace abounding in you.

that you will have all this sufficiency. And

you're gonna have an abundance in every good

work because of His grace. Don't be discouraged.

If you realize you didn't get it right or you

haven't been doing it right or you need to step

it up, confess to God, accept His forgiveness,

rejoice in it, and then know that it's grace.

Listen, when you had just one child, When you

had the second one, you wondered as the second

one is approaching, how you could possibly, you

love that first one so much, how could you possibly

love the next one? Right? Because all my love,

it's all the love I have. And then when you get

the second one and you hold them up, you go,

wow, I have more love. Right? It is more grace

that God gives you. If you have 10 children,

God gives you grace for 10 children. If you have

one child, God gives you grace. for one child

relax don't be anxious apart from God's sovereign

mercy you cannot succeed so pray trust God and

do good set an example by word indeed that you

are in fact under submission to God how do you

respond to sin When you do sin seek restoration

Be willing to learn and grow Apply God's word

and be available to your children as God is present

with us near us And he hears us even in our weaknesses

Let us as godly fathers and mothers provide a

home centered in conforming to Christ Jesus That

our real parenting authority provides our children

boldness to our throne of grace that they may

obtain mercy and find help in the time of need.

Let us pray. Heavenly Father, please be gracious

to us to send your spirit upon us that we may

truly and faithfully love and obey your word,

especially in bringing up our children in the

fear and admonition of you. Grant that we may

teach our children to hate sin, to forgive each

other as you have forgiven us because of the

work of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. By

your grace, bestow upon us the fortitude to joyfully

lay down our lives for our children. Help us

to humbly lead our children according to your

word, for we know that their salvation belongs

to you. Be gracious to our children and keep

them. Please restore our children who have seemingly

forsaken you. We ask all these things for the

sake of your son, Jesus, who reigns with you

in the Holy Spirit forever and ever. Amen.