Expectations for Older Women | Titus 2:3-4

Well, I hope you're ready for a bit of a journey

together this morning. Last night, I went back

in my mind and I started, maybe you've done this

before, started calculating the number of years

that I have been a part of one church or another.

And I believe it's up to 37 years now in the

church, which is a lot of time to learn just

a few things about how the church was designed

by God to function. And along the way, I've been

able to observe in a practical sense what it's,

I think it's supposed to look like. First, from

the congregation's view, which my wife and I

were privileged for 13 years of our lives together

to be where you are in the seats before I went

into full -time ministry and to see it from that

angle. But then for the past 24 years to be able

to observe the church from what we call the back

room where the staff and the leaders operate.

And now after all these years stepping back,

I can say that it has been an amazing journey

to grow as a serious student of church life,

to read about it in scripture, to read about

it in the pages of church history, and then also

to participate it personally in a number of local

bodies. And let me share with you why I'm starting

there this morning. Among the many things that

I have seen in the church over all those years,

two matters. Two matters came to my heart and

my mind this week that connect with our study

in Titus chapter 2. And here they are. Number

Titus 2 · chapter mention

one, that older believers in the church often

get dismissed by leadership. Older believers

get dismissed. They tend to get pushed aside

in favor of what some would call more vibrant

and relevant ministry. Translation, a younger

methodology that is... more in line with the

culture, and more prone to draw visitors. That

is all too common in the church today. And sadly,

by pushing aside our seniors, the church forfeits

one of its greatest resources, all of that experience

and wisdom and godly example. The second thing

I've noticed is that in many churches, women

are also overlooked by leadership. maybe unintentionally

get treated almost like second -class citizens

in the body. And there is no reasonable justification

for that. In both Scripture and in church history,

we have so many examples of God working through

women in powerful ways. And we have statements

from the Apostle Paul, for example, who lists

women as valuable co -workers in his gospel mission,

women like Priscilla and Phoebe and Junia and

Lydia. And then in the Old Testament, we have

this great example of Naomi in the book of Ruth,

this older woman who is so, so godly. And we

have the examples of Lois and Eunice, the mother

and grandmother who raised and instructed young

Timothy. So we've got all these great examples,

but in the Christian world today, which if you

haven't noticed is extremely polarized, churches

seem to think that they have to choose between

one extreme or the other. regarding the roles

of men and women in ministry rather than just

looking at Scripture and settling on what God

has declared. And what has he said? A, that spiritual

leadership should be in the hands of qualified

male elders. But B, that both men and women can

participate in every other area of ministry in

appropriate ways. So it's actually not that complicated,

but we've made it complicated because, again,

you have some churches that want to remove all

gender distinctions. As if that subject doesn't

matter to God, just wipe it away. And then you

have other churches that are so strong on male

headship that they go out of their way to deny

women opportunities to serve. And in the process,

they squash the spirit of the women in the church.

And because of those types of mistakes. What

the church looks like today is fairly chaotic,

confused, frustrated. There's a whole bunch of

church hurt within the body of Christ. And we

have, to some extent, damaged our witness before

the unbelieving world. So in saying all that,

here's the principle I want to open this message

with. Part one, do not write off the older saints

in the church. Honor them. Respect them. Celebrate

their presence. And where possible, learn from

them. And part two, women are an essential part

of ministry in the church. They always have been.

So let's make sure that we build them up and

equip them to accomplish the works of service

that God has laid out for them to walk in. Amen?

Now, if you combine those two categories of people

I just mentioned, older saints and women, you

get a very specific group of people who are very

precious in the body of Christ, our older ladies.

I can get a whoop whoop for the older ladies?

Amen. And they are the focus of what Paul is

going to address next in Titus chapter 2. And

Titus 2 · chapter mention

what we're going to see is the godly older women

have a critical role to play in making the bride

of Christ more beautiful for her bridegroom.

So grab your Bibles. We're going to Titus chapter

Titus 2 · chapter mention

2 if you're not there already. If you're newer

with us or visiting this morning, we've been

working our way through this very important section

in Titus 2, verses 1 through 8, and continuing

Titus 2:1–8

to ask that question that you see on the screen.

How can we, and we can make this personal, how

can we at Oak Hill develop into a more healthy

body and a more beautiful bride, one that displays

the splendor of Christ to a watching world? That's

what's on Paul's heart as he writes to Titus,

exhorting him to address four different categories

of people in the churches of Crete. Older men,

older women, younger women, and then younger

men. Now last Sunday we talked about that first

group, right? How many of you guys were here

for the older men sermon? Good. Figured it all

out. Good. Now this Sunday, next Sunday, we get

to focus on the ladies, and we're going to talk

about older ladies in particular this morning.

So we're going to read through verse 5. But then

we're gonna come back and focus on verses three

and four in particular. So here's what God's

word says. Verse one, but as for you, Titus,

speak or proclaim the things which are fitting

or consistent with sound doctrine. Underline

that term, sound doctrine. Older men are to be

temperate. We talked about that last week. Sober

-minded, dignified, worthy of respect. insensible

or self -controlled, and sound in faith, in love,

and in perseverance or endurance. Verse 3 now.

Older women, likewise, are to be reverent in

their behavior, not malicious gossips, nor enslaved

to much wine, teaching what is good so that they

may encourage the young women to love their husbands,

to love their children, to be sensible, pure,

workers at home, kind. being subject to their

own husbands, so that the word of God will not

be dishonored. So we're going to stop there.

Now, I'm asked the same question this morning

that I started with last week, and that is, what

qualifies somebody to be called older? At what

age does that actually kick in? When it comes

to older women, once again, Paul doesn't give

us a number, and obviously that's intentional.

So we're going to have to... take what's written

here in the first century and adapt it to our

context. And as I suggested last Sunday, for

us, I think there's logic in defining older as

50 years or older, 50 years or older. When a

woman gets into her 50s and 60s, any children

that she had have been raised to adulthood. At

that point, some ladies have grandchildren. They

are dealing with elderly parents or even parents

that have passed away. If they've been working,

they're talking about retiring because, man,

the old body gets tired, right? And maybe they

have a husband who's also moving towards retirement.

So I think 50 is sort of a major division in

the season of life for both men and women. I

think that's probably a good number for us to

have in mind as we think through this passage.

So here's how I want to lay this message out.

I want to start by expositing what Paul says

are the character qualities of a godly older

woman in verse 3. And then we're going to dive

into a really big subject. And I know a subject

that is near and dear to the hearts of many of

you ladies. What does it mean to teach and to

encourage younger women in the church as a mentor

and a discipler? So we'll get to all that this

morning. Now, let's jump into verse 3. By the

way, I know that as soon as I gave this morning

last week as well, as soon as I say we're going

to focus on older women, a bunch of you checked

out. Please don't do that. There are always biblical

principles we can learn from when we study the

scriptures, true? So there's something here for

you, and especially to younger ladies, you are

involved in what Paul says to the older ladies

here. Trust me, you're involved, and one day

you'll be one of them. Lord willing, you'll get

there someday. And it happens fast, as I mentioned

last week. Okay, as we jump into verse 3, let's

not forget the foundation that we established

last week. Every exhortation in this section

of Titus for every category believer is built

on what Paul emphasizes in verse 1, that Titus

should make sure that only things rooted in sound

doctrine are to be proclaimed in the churches.

That phrase, sound doctrine, is very important.

What does that mean? Things consistent with Scripture,

with apostolic teaching. And for the older women

in verse 3, that means focusing on the type of

character they ought to have that then overflows

into godly action. So look at verse 3 again.

Older women likewise are to be reverent in their

behavior. Now, reverent is obviously the key

word here, but don't miss the word likewise.

That word is in the original Greek text. And

so Paul's referencing back to what he just wrote

about older men. So older women, he says, are

to be mature in the same ways that he mentioned

about older men. What does that mean? Sober -minded,

dignified, self -controlled, sound in faith,

love, and endurance. All those characteristics

we looked at last Sunday. We're now going to

see that Paul has some very specific things in

mind for the ladies. Then that's coming. Why?

Because there are unique opportunities for women

in ministry, and there are unique temptations

that women face, especially when they get over

50 years old. Now, Paul uses an interesting word

here in verse 3 to sort of sum up this godly

character and behavior of older women in the

church. He uses the English word reverent. Now,

here's what that word looks like in the original

Greek. It is a very strange word. For you Greek

students, it's a strange word and difficult to

pronounce. It's a very strange word. It's the

only time this word is used in the entire New

Testament. It's very unique. And then what's

really interesting about it is it appears that

Paul lifted this word from Greek culture and

then applied it here in his letter. We have a

thoroughly Jewish man in Paul, once a Pharisee.

but also educated in the nuances of Greek culture,

he now grabs hold of what we might call a cultural

word to exhort the older women in Crete, obviously

thinking they will understand what this word

means. And sometimes we call this doing contextual

ministry, reaching to a foreign culture with

words and symbols and images that new believers

coming out of paganism would be familiar with.

So this is what he's doing here. It's funny,

when you do the research on where this word comes

from, you see some of the greatest thinkers of

antiquity using this in their writings. Xenophon

uses this word in the 5th century B .C. Plato.

uses this word in the third century BC. Even

Philo of Alexandria, some of you guys know him.

He's a contemporary, first century contemporary

of both Paul and Titus. They use this word. And

when they use it, they basically use it in that

context. One who lives a sacred life. That's

what he's pointing to here. One who lives a sacred

life. In fact, this word in Greek literature

is often used in the context describing a priest

or priestess operating in a pagan table. pagan

temple, meaning that the way the Greeks saw this

person was they were so holy, they were able

to actually be in the presence of the Greek gods.

Now, obviously, Paul lifts this word out of the

culture, and he is going to repurpose it for

the Christian faith. And what he seems to mean

is he wants older women in the churches of Crete

to be holy and righteous in their walk with Christ,

to exhibit the highest moral standards possible.

Being a woman that can abide in the presence

of God because of their sacred character and

their godly lives. So in adapting this word,

he lays out a very high calling for older women

in the church. Now, we should make sure that

we don't add meaning to what Paul intends here.

He's not saying that women should operate in

priestly roles in the church. That's not the

context. He's not talking about a church office

here. He's simply talking about older women in

the church possessing this inner righteousness,

these purified hearts that lead to sacred behavior

on the outside. So you see the word behavior

there. That's not the focus. It's what's in the

heart that leads to that behavior. That's why

he adds that phrase. In my opinion, it's better

to read in their demeanor. They're to be reverent

in their demeanor, meaning in the context of

their daily lives, the way they think. The way

they act, the way they carry themselves should

be appropriate for a woman engaged in sacred

ministry. Again, a very high calling. In his

first letter to Timothy, Paul adds a little more

color and texture to this. You probably know

this verse. He says, So this is a kind of demeanor

that is not put on. It's not an external show

for others to see. It's real. It's authentic.

It comes from deep within her heart. She is reverent

towards the things of God. And she is reverent

in her marriage and in her home. And she is reverent

in the way she ministers in the church. And she's

reverent in the way she carries herself as a

testimony before unbelievers. This is what marks

the godly older. That's the overarching character

trait that he gives us. And these are things,

ladies, that you should be striving for. Now,

as we continue in verse 3, we're going to see

Paul now address two very specific issues that

these older women need to hear. And knowing the

culture there in Crete, my understanding of this

is that Paul looked out there and said, look,

I'm aware of a couple of potential stumbling

blocks. for the older women in these particular

churches. Two things. And the first one, he says,

is not to be a malicious gossip. Now, I do not

like that translation. I love my NASB, but I

do not like that translation. Unfortunately,

this is sometimes what translation committees

do. We call it editorial eisegesis. What they

do is they inject meaning into the text in order

to make a point about what they suspect the original

author intended to say. But that is not really

a literal translation. Now, gossip may be a part

of what Paul is talking about here, but the Greek

verb is very clear. It refers to slander. It

refers to slander. These older women are not

to be slanderers. And by the way, it's just one

word in the Greek text, and it's a serious word.

It's diabolos. You've probably heard that word.

It's the same word translated devil. Think about

that. It makes sense. What is the devil known

as? The accuser or the slanderer of the brethren.

We also get our word diabolical from this, which

is why I think the NASB translators didn't just

write gossips. They wrote malicious gossips because

the devil is always malicious in what he does.

So that's what's happening there. So I don't

think this is an overstatement. It's safe to

say that when we as Christians twist the truth

and slander people, we are doing the devil's

work. I think that's part of what's being communicated.

It's very serious in God's eyes. So a reverent

older woman is going to consistently speak truth,

even when it's difficult. She's not going to

shade the truth, even when it's hard. She'll

speak the truth in love. She's not going to be

running around making false accusations against

people. She's not going to assume impure motives

in others. She's not going to be out there trying

to tear other people down or to spread rumors

or half -truths that bring harm to people. All

of those things come out of a very ugly heart.

Instead, she's working and striving, not perfect,

but striving to tame her tongue, to be careful

when she speaks, to think before she speaks,

to be slow to speak, being careful not to lie,

careful not to exaggerate, careful not to have

a critical spirit. Again, high calling, right?

Now, you may object to what Paul does here. I've

seen this come up in certain circles where a

subtle form of feminism has crept into the church.

The objection goes like this. Why does the apostle

only speak to women when it comes to slander

and gossip? That's so sexist, right? But look,

we should be honest. We should be honest with

each other when it comes to the sexes. Men have

all kinds of unique and awful sins, as do women.

Men have a tendency to sin physically, and sometimes

with violence, we get rough and aggressive and

pugnacious. We can also slander and gossip. Don't

get me wrong. We can do that as well. But whereas

men are more likely to sin physically, women,

not in all cases, but on average, women are more

prone to fall into sin verbally. Whispering.

things in private, gossiping amongst themselves,

becoming petty, becoming critical. So when you

see things like this in Scripture, don't be offended

by it. It is common to our nature, and female

sins are no better or no worse than male sins.

So receive it. It's from God. Ladies, nod your

head. Okay, good. Do you know how nervous preachers

get when you preach to women? It is a minefield.

I already asked, I was talking to Grant by text

yesterday. I'm like, pray for me. This is a minefield.

So thank you for your grace. Okay, back to verse

three now. Well, that was a moment of transparency.

Didn't plan on that. The second behavior that

an older woman must avoid is being enslaved to

too much wine. Now, I've said it recently. I'll

say it again. Drinking wine is not a sin. No

matter. What some legalists try to lay on you.

In the ancient world, wine was all about, it

marked celebration. And oftentimes it marked

celebrating blessings from God. And that's the

way Jesus looked at it. Yes, he turned water

into actual wine at that wedding in Cana. Now,

you may have a conviction. We talked about convictions

last week. You may have a conviction not to drink

alcohol at all for personal reasons. And I honor

that. And I thank God. If that's your conviction,

the Spirit's put that on your heart and you're

obeying it, I thank God for that. But as I shared

last week, if that's your conviction, let it

be your conviction. Don't apply it to everybody

else because then you do become a legalist and

you do the work of a Pharisee. Now, having said

that, we all have to agree that being enslaved

to wine is a sin. That's obviously a sin because

Scripture calls it a sin. And the older women

who seeks to be reverent must not be enslaved

to any substance, not just wine. And again, the

objection may come up, why only talk to women

about this? But there is some interesting historical

data about this. Among the upper classes of Greek

and Roman society, excessive drinking was extremely

common. In fact, it was often seen as a virtue.

It showed how wealthy you are that you can drink

all of this wine and get completely tipsy and

act a fool. That was seen as a virtue. And it's

likely that Paul knew something about this on

the island of Crete. I also think it's possible

that Paul is making a connection here between

drinking too much and gossip or slander. Because,

right, when you drink too much, your tongue gets

really, really loose and you lose control. That's

a legit connection. So again, we shouldn't be

offended by this. And by the way, we shouldn't

forget that this same... The same prohibition

for not being enslaved to wine shows up in both

Timothy and Titus in the list of requirements

for male elders. They're not to be addicted to

this substance. And here's the overarching principle.

It's not just about wine. It's about slavery

to sin in general. The reverent older woman has

enough years under her belt now where she is

no longer controlled. by her appetites and her

wants and desires. She's not in slavery to them

anymore. And this is hopefully what age does

to you. Walking with Christ for a number of years

will do for you. She's now spirit -controlled.

And when you're spirit -controlled, you're not

prone to excess in anything in life, not just

wine and alcohol, but things like food and exercise

and recreation and entertainment and social media

and shopping and spending. all the things that

we can become enslaved to. As we get older, we

should be getting victory over those things and

being controlled by the Spirit. So a godly older

woman lives the Spirit -guided life so that she

can be devoted to the right things, to the one

thing that will not fade away but endure forever,

and that is the sacred purposes of the Lord.

That's what you want to be addicted to. Amen?

Now, ladies. That's the character standard that

Paul lays out for you as you grow older. And

I know it's a daunting standard. And I know that

some of you already have said, well, scratch

me off that list. I will never be that reverent.

But I don't want you to be overwhelmed by this.

I really don't. This is similar to that elder

qualification of being above reproach. Every

man who's ever looked at that says, scratch me

off that list. I will never be that. And if we

started defining that as, well, I have to be

perfect in every area, there would be no elders

in any church anywhere. And the same thing is

true of this. This isn't a call to perfection.

We all stumble at times, but these are the things

that will consistently mark the life of a godly

older woman because she's striving after them

by the power of the Holy Spirit. And when you're

striving after those things with a clean conscience

and a pure heart, the spirit will come in and

will start to move you in that direction. That's

a promise we have from him. And as I said to

the older men last week and challenging them,

it is never too late, ladies, to hear what God's

word says and today to start praying and striving

to become all that he desires you to be. And

if you need help getting started with that, you're

like, wow, this is, This is challenging. This

is convicting. But I look at this in the word

and I want to become this. Then ask for help.

Reach out to an elder or reach out to one of

our godly women on our women's council and say,

I want to get started. I want to get on this

path towards what Paul is describing here. Sound

good? Okay, now look what Paul does next. Look

at the end of verse three and going into verse

four. Here he adds a very important action step

for older ladies. And you guys, this is so important.

Honestly, I wish we had time to do a whole sermon

series on this particular subject. Because here's

what he writes next. He says, older women are

to be teaching what is good so that they may

encourage the young women. And yeah, he goes

on to list a whole bunch of things they need

to be encouraged in. Hold off on those things.

That's for next Sunday. When we get to the younger

women, we're going to talk about all those things

that the older women should be teaching them.

But friends, listen to this now. In every generation,

the enemy would love to tear down and redefine

what it means to be a Christian woman. It happens

in every generation, and we've got to be aware

of it. So it's essential for the older women

in every generation to teach and to model what

the Christian life looks like so that our younger

women aren't deceived by all of the lies that

come at them from the culture about who God is,

about who they are. and about what is actually

good. Every day, you know this already, you're

bombarded by the culture telling you what you

should be. And so older women who have this experience

need to look back and go, okay, let me help you

on this. Let me help you see it. And that's what

Paul's talking about here. Teaching what is good

is both word and deed. It is both instruction

and example. And once again, he reaches, so Paul,

this is so unique what he writes here. He reaches

deep into his lexicon to describe this. In the

original Greek, teaching what is good is just

one compound word. And again, it's not found

anywhere, anywhere else in the New Testament.

And even more so, this word is not even found

in classical Greek. Kala didaskalos is what it

is. It comes from the standard, so. It's likely

that Paul literally coined this word when he

wrote this for a very specific need for the older

women in Crete. It's his word. It comes from

the standard word for teaching, didaskalos, along

with this prefix, kalos, which means good or

beautiful or attractive. So older women in the

church are to teach the younger women. the things

that are good and beautiful about the Christian

life. And specifically, based on what you see

in verses four and five, listen now, to teach

the younger women the beautiful life of a Christian

woman. Whether you're single, married, a mom,

it doesn't matter what a beautiful Christian

woman's life looks like. And the Greek word there

for encourage is interesting as well. In my opinion,

it's not quite the right word for this context.

It's sophronizo. And it has a broad range of

meaning, but look at all the ways that this word

can be applied. And now think about an overall

flavor of what Paul is calling older women to

do when it says encourage them. To restore someone

to their senses. Right? I've seen this in my

own family. Like when my wife comes alongside

my adult daughter and says, let me restore you

to your senses on this. You need to hear this.

or to moderate or curb someone's behavior. Hey,

I need to round some things in your life right

now as a younger woman. To hold somebody to his

or her duty. These are the things that God calls

you to do, young lady. Or to admonish or train

somebody in self -control. That's what he means

by encourage the younger ladies. So older women

come alongside younger women and help them think

sensibly about the details of, of the Christian

life, to train them in what sacred living as

a woman looks like. And by the way, this becomes,

this is always important in every relationship,

but it's especially important when this beautiful

thing happens. Young women come out of the world.

They come to know Christ, but they come from

broken homes or they come out of a family life

that didn't worship Jesus and they don't have.

role models to really look at. They didn't grow

up with that. Think about the need for younger

women who come from those types of backgrounds,

for an older woman with all of these decades

of experience to come alongside and say, man,

let me help you. Let me show you what this life

looks like. And so many of our young ladies today,

you know this, if they don't come from a Christian

background and they're not taught otherwise,

they're constantly hearing and ingesting what

the culture feeds them. about gender roles, about

dating, about men and so many other things. And

they need help, ladies. They need help to see

the truth. This past week as I was prepping for

this message, I read this great article, this

testimony from a younger woman who talks about

this issue of spiritual mothering. And she talks

about how she came out of that sort of secular

background. But she found women that would come

alongside her and help. And she was struggling

with, this is not a surprise, with the issue

of submission in marriage, as I think every woman

does at some point. But let me just read a little

bit about what she wrote and see if this doesn't

connect with what Paul's saying. She writes this.

When I was a newlywed, one of my two spiritual

mothers taught me that submission is not the

fruit of a weak -willed wife, but of a courageous

wife who hopes in God. Back then, even though

I assented verbally to male headship in marriage,

in my heart, I was still more of a secular feminist

than I was biblically feminine. I needed a spiritual

mother to model this principle for me and to

teach me in the context of her life and mine.

She taught me from scripture and from her example

and from her failures and her repentance as well

as her victories. how beautiful headship and

submission are when the gospel is at the center.

This older woman didn't just mentor me, she mothered

me, and I needed it. She let me spend hours in

her home. She made godly womanhood look beautiful

to me. And because she combined faithful teaching

with faithful living, her influence in my life

has been far -reaching. That is a beautiful testimony

to what this passage is talking about. Now, I'm

gonna come back to spiritual mothering in a second.

But first, can I briefly touch on some of the

temptations that I think older women are wrestling

with? And we should all be aware of this because

again, in the body, we wanna be ministering to

each other. We wanna be understanding each other.

What are the temptations and the things that

older women struggle with? And by the way, some

of these are gonna mirror what I shared about

the older men last week because they're more

connected to age than they are to gender. But

let me share a couple of those. For example,

just like older men, older women often struggle

with change because with age we get set in our

ways, don't we? And we don't want to be moved,

which is a polite way of saying we get stubborn.

We do. I mean, look, again, this is one of those

good things. I'm in that age range, so it's good.

I can talk about it. And like the men, older

women can be tempted to get somewhat critical

and negative towards the younger generation.

who are doing things differently, right? And

develop a critical spirit, even in the church.

You know, sit there judgy, and no, that's not

the way it's supposed to be done, or that's not

the way we used to do it, right? And reminiscing

on the good old days, all of that stuff. Men

do it, and women do it as well. Now, men will

tend to grumble out loud about these things.

In my experience, women will just internalize

their judginess and quietly seethe. until it

comes out someday, right? So both are bad, by

the way, but just know that that happens. I'm

grateful my wife isn't here this morning. I was

not talking about her, by the way. I'm just noting

that for the recording. Older ladies can fall

into the retirement syndrome that I mentioned

last week, this idea that because I've reached

a certain age, I can now pull away from serving

other people. It's this idea of like, well, I

fought those battles, I paid my dues, and now

I get to just sit here. That's not biblical.

Or this, and I talked about it last week, this

idea that now that I'm a certain age, I can ride

off into the sunset and not to be bothered ever

again. And by the way, I got a great email from

somebody this week, because I talked last week

about men wanting to buy a parcel of land in

Montana and riding off into the sunset. I have

nothing against Montana. People are like, am

I not allowed to move to Montana? I'm like, well,

it depends. Honestly, the answer is it depends.

If you're moving to Montana so you can disappear

from life and no longer serve people or minister

to people, no. That would not be pleasing in

God's sight. If you're saying, I've always wanted

to move to Montana and I have a ministry up there

and a church up there that I can throw my life

into and minister until the day God calls me

home, amen and amen. So it's the motivation of

the heart that matters. Okay, what else? A couple

other things that I would add to this. I think

it's fairly common for older women in the church

to feel unseen, to feel unseen. As I said at

the outset, to feel dismissed, to feel not valued

in the body of Christ, and therefore to not really

know how they're supposed to apply their spiritual

gifts, how they can be used in ministry, other

than sometimes What we do with older women is

we say, no, go teach the children, which is an

incredibly valuable ministry, but we'll sort

of hide them away week after week after week

and never acknowledge them and never say thank

you. And they feel like that's all I can do because

they feel not seen. The other temptation for

older women in the church is to feel unqualified.

to dive into ministry. And maybe that could be

for any number of reasons, because of a sinful

past or regrets they have in life, or just that

they got a late start in the Christian life,

right? And now here at Oak Hill, older ladies

like, oh, I didn't get saved until I was, whatever,

45. And now I see all these young ladies coming

from a Bible college, and they know more than

me, and maybe I'm just not qualified for this.

So there's all kinds of things. So for the rest

of you, understand, your older sisters and the

types of things that they might be wrestling

with here in the body of Christ. But the short

answer, ladies, is you are needed. You are necessary,

you are seen, and you are needed. I hope you

hear that. So let's wrap up this morning by talking

about this issue of spiritual mothering, which

is so important. And listen, spiritual motherhood

can actually be more impactful than biological

motherhood. Did you know that? Because there's

a lot of women out there who are biological mothers

but haven't done much mothering at all. And so

a woman that will come in and be a spiritual

mother is invaluable, ladies. And let me make

this clear as well. I realize in verses four

and five, Paul talks about teaching the younger

women in relation to their husbands and children.

But this teaching does not exclude single women,

unmarried women from participating in this. type

of work. Because being a spiritual mother is

about nurturing and sacrificial self -giving

love. And I'm convinced that God hardwires that

into all of his daughters. So in some measure,

ladies, that is present within you. And becoming

a spiritually mature woman doesn't require having

an earthly husband. It doesn't even require having

biological children. It definitely doesn't require

being an Instagram homesteader. Right? So whatever

category you're in, do not automatically rule

yourself out because of how you perceive yourself

as a woman. God has wired you for this. You just

need to move towards spiritual maturity and dive

in. Now, you might say, well, Jeff, why do you

feel so confident in saying that? Well, look

at the Apostle Paul. He was unmarried. There's

no evidence that Paul ever had children. Yet

do we not refer to him as a spiritual father?

Of course we do. I've never heard anybody question

that. Well, how can Paul be a spiritual father?

He's unmarried. He doesn't have kids. We recognize

him as a spiritual father, right? Because Paul

knew what it was to be a spiritual father. He

practiced it. In fact, he called both Timothy

and Titus my true child in the faith. When writing

to churches that he had planted, he called the

members there, you know, my children, my beloved

children. He spoke explicitly about being a spiritual

father and a mentor and an example uniquely to

the church in Corinth, the most messed up church

of all. He talked about it. Let me just read

this verse really briefly. He says, for you may

have countless instructors in Christ, but you

don't have many fathers. For I became your father

in Christ Jesus through the gospel. And then

he adds, therefore, I urge you to imitate me.

That's exactly what he's saying to Titus. He's

a spiritual father. All the language that Paul

uses, right? He talks about his love for the

believers, how he nurtures them, how he shares

his very self with them, how he prays for them.

Those are all things that mothers and fathers

do for their children. And of course, none of

those people, Timothy, Titus, or the people in

Corinth were biologically connected to Paul.

They were spiritually connected. So, single spiritual

fathers, unmarried spiritual mothers. It's all

possible in the kingdom of God. Now, let's talk

practically. What does it mean to be a spiritual

mother? How can you do this? Well, I'll say it

for the fourth time. It's not about being perfect.

There's no perfect woman, no perfect wife, no

perfect mother. So, do not let your expectations

or your self -perceptions discourage you from

this. Also, though, recognize, ladies, that to

fulfill Paul's instructions here as a mentor,

as a teacher, as an example to younger women,

it requires you to desire it and pursue it. It's

not going to happen by magic. It's not going

to just come upon you. You have to want it and

you've got to pursue it. Like any other ministry,

you have to be committed to sanctification and

growth in your own walk so that you can turn

around and model it to others. Again, not saying

you've got to be perfect, but you've got to be

committed in your walk to maturity and growth

so that you can tell others about it. Yes, that

is going to require significant investment of

your time and your energy and sometimes also

great emotion when things get hard. And to that

end, it also means that in the midst of providing

wise counsel as a spiritual mom, you might actually

have to correct a younger woman, rebuke a younger

woman. And that's not easy. So here's what I'm

saying. This is not a simple ministry. It's not

easy. Sometimes it's really hard. But friends,

it's incredibly needed. And anybody in this room

who's been a spiritual mother will tell you it's

incredibly rewarding. You actually get a lot

back from this person you're counseling. As she's

giving to you, she's receiving back. And it's

beautifully reciprocal. Now, what are some of

the things an older woman can share with a younger

woman? The list is endless. And again, if you

need help on this, talk to our women's council.

They do this all the time. They're doing it constantly,

sometimes with five, six, seven women. Well,

you can give her a vision of biblical womanhood.

You can talk about that until the cows come home,

right? Because it's complex and confusing. Show

her the beauty of scripture. Study together.

Help her find her place in church ministry, practically.

Show her where she can be serving others. If

she's married, help her to understand better

the role of a wife. If she's a mother, help her

to understand what it looks like to persevere

in that high calling. You don't have to have

all the answers. In fact, when appropriate, you

should be transparent with her about your own

failings because we've all failed. We've all

fallen short in these areas. When it's appropriate

to say, hey, this is where I messed up, but this

is what I learned from it, please don't fall

into the same error. Do you understand how valuable

that is for an older person to say, look, I was

where you were 20 years ago, 30 years ago. Here's

some of my mistakes. Avoid them. Avoid those

pitfalls. It's beautiful. Share with her your

struggles, your temptations. Show her how you've

repented in the past and come back to worship

the Lord. Pray with her. Pray for her. Go to

the throne of grace together to pray over both

of your lives. It's an incredibly rich thing.

if you'll desire it and pursue it. Now, what

does it look like practically? Well, it comes

in all kinds of forms and formats. And the reason

I share this is already, and I know this happens

all the time because I've done it personally.

Somebody shares something beautiful like this

and you're like, here's the three reasons I can't

do it. We all do this. It's almost defensive.

Here's three reasons. And the number one thing

is, well, I'm super busy. Right? We all do it.

I've done it. It comes in all forms and formats.

The first thing we think about when this is we're

like, okay, it's got to be some weekly meeting

at a coffee shop or over lunch, and we're going

to study the Bible together. If you can do that,

praise the Lord. That's wonderful. That's one

way to do it. Structured one -on -one discipleship.

Other times it's less formal. It's just life

on life where an older and younger woman get

together in almost any setting, and it's just

wise counsel. from biblical principles, from

sound doctrine, but it's wise counsel. Sometimes

it happens in small group settings, two or three

women and one older woman. Sometimes because

of the season you're in or the schedule you have,

you can't meet in person, but you can use technology.

I know technology can be a devil, but it can

also be a blessing, right? So you can actually,

I've seen ladies reading scripture, reading devotionals,

reading books together and discussing it. via

electronic means. You can do that. You can use

Zoom. You can use FaceTime. You just have to

think outside the box and harness the tools that

are out there. There's a way to make it happen

without the excuses. There's a way to make it

happen if you desire it and if you pursue it.

Last thing I'll share is this. Sometimes the

best way to teach a younger woman has no formality

at all. It's just allowing her into your life,

into just regular life. I've read testimonies

about this so many times. I just got invited

into this woman's home, and I watched her routines,

and I watched how she talked to people, and I

watched how she dealt with her family. I watched

how she carried herself, how she speaks to people,

how she volunteers her time in the church. This

is just all the things of life. It doesn't require

a classroom. It doesn't require even a coffee

shop. It's caught as much as it is taught. It's

very organic and very simple, but very beautiful

at the same time. I've heard it described as

discipleship at the kitchen table, which is really

sweet. Let me come back to that same young lady

who I quoted earlier. Here's how she closed her

article. Here's what she wrote about her mentor.

Her name is Debbie, and this is beautiful. She

says, Debbie was busy raising and homeschooling

three high schoolers and a kindergartner. Wow.

Superwoman. Her house was always spilling over

with teenagers seeking warm fellowship and homemade

fried chicken. And somehow there was always room

at her kitchen table for more. Listen to what

she says. That little house was paradise to me.

I always walked in the front door knowing I'd

be well -loved, well -fed, and well -taught before

I left. Rarely did I have the conscious thought

that Debbie was mentoring me. She was simply

welcoming me into her very normal and very full

life. I was so blessed to have landed in a solid

Bible teaching church as a new Christian, but

it was my relationship with Debbie that took

my new faith to the next level. And it prepared

me to be a Christian wife and mom years later.

I have met only a handful of older women in my

lifetime who have lived out these characteristics.

They're the ones who've seen a few generations

of pain come and go, a few seasons of heartbreak

and uproar, and now they stand gray -haired,

facing heaven with a gentle and quiet spirit.

They know their king. I'm getting emotional again,

darn it. They know their king. When they say

they're praying for you, you better buckle up.

When they tell you that God loves you, you know

that they know it in a way that not many people

know it. Their faithfulness has been lived out

in unseen mornings in God's word and in prayer

through many nights. And while their bodies fade,

what remains is imperishable, marked by timelessness

and beauty. I get emotional because I think about

my own wife in that. So, older ladies. I hope

you see the beauty in what Paul is talking to

Titus about here. And I hope it stirs your heart.

I hope it stirs your heart to want to be a part

of someone else's life like this. Again, it's

no small commitment, but wow, what an incredible

privilege to impact a life, and by extension,

to impact generations to come. Older ladies,

you are needed. in the body, and you are precious

to us. Amen? Let's bow our heads. Father, thank

you for your word this morning. Thank you for

how beautiful you have described ministry in

the church in so many ways. Lord, and I pray

for those who... Hear this message that they

might catch the beauty of that, the vision of

what you have designed in your body. And just

to lean into it, to say, Lord, is this what you're

calling me to? And to open up that possibility

as an older woman to say, I don't want to retire.

I don't want to pull back from service. I want

to grow in my older years. I want to become more

spiritually mature. And I want to turn around

and help. All of these younger ladies in our

church. Father, I pray that for everybody here

that we might see some biblical principles in

this and see ways that we can apply these same

truths in our lives. For our men to be spiritual

fathers, it's so needed. For younger men to say,

who can disciple me? Who can I look to? Who can

I imitate as he imitates Christ? Lord, give us

spiritual eyes to see what you have for us. I

thank you for the church. I thank you for every

person here this morning and the way you have

brought us here for this divine appointment.

So teach us now by your spirit for your glory,

I pray.