Spiritual Parenthood | 1 Corinthians 4:14-21

Grab your Bibles, turn with me to 1 Corinthians

1 Corinthians 4 · chapter mention

chapter 4. 1 Corinthians chapter 4, I have good

1 Corinthians 4 · chapter mention

news for you this morning. Paul's long discussion

about church unity is coming to an end with today's

passage. Hallelujah, right? This entire teaching

about unity in the body started way back in chapter

1, verse 10. You might recall this is what Paul

said at that point. He said, I exhort you, brothers

and sisters, and I want you to hear this today

at Oak Hill. I exhort you, brothers and sisters,

by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you

all agree and that there be no divisions among

you, that you may be made complete in the same

mind, in the same judgment. That's how Paul launched

this whole teaching on church unity. And then

all the way through today, to the end of chapter

4, he went on to talk about a whole bunch of

nuanced issues that relate to this one central

issue, which is unity in the body. Now, today

he's going to end it with a powerful affirmation

of his love for the Corinthians, but also with

a very stern warning for those in the city who

had grown prideful in his absence. Now, before

we read, don't forget what he's just written

in the section before, right? Verses 6 through

13. If you were with us last Sunday, you saw

how sarcastically Paul wrote about the foolishness

of the Corinthians, about their immaturity in

two ways, in the way they viewed themselves and

in the way they judged the apostles. And we noted

last Sunday how surprising Paul's language was

in that portion of the letter. Remember what

he asked? He said, what makes you so much better

than anyone else? Right? And then he said, Do

you deserve what you have? Have you earned what

you have? Or has it been given to you from above?

And if God has given you everything, why do you

boast in it? And then he said, you really think

you've arrived, don't you? You think you're filled,

you're complete, you're reigning like kings.

And all the while, us apostles, we're out here

struggling. He says, we're weak, we're without

honor, we're hungry and thirsty, we're poorly

clothed, we're roughly treated, we're slandered

by everybody, we are the scum of the world, but

good for you, Corinthians, you guys are just

fine. And of course, it was all sarcasm, right?

They really did believe, they were so prideful

to believe that they were reigning as kings.

So that's where we left off last Sunday. Now,

let's look at what he says next, how he finishes

the chapter. Look at verse 14. It says, I do

not write these things. And again, this goes

all the way back to chapter one. I don't write

these things to shame you, but to admonish you

as my beloved children. For if you were to have

countless tutors in Christ, yet you would not

have many fathers. For in Christ Jesus, I became

your father through the gospel. Therefore, I

exhort you, be imitators of me. For this reason

I have sent you Timothy, who is my beloved and

faithful child in the Lord, and he will remind

you of my ways, which are in Christ, just as

I teach everywhere in every church. Verse 18.

Now some have become arrogant, as though I were

not coming to you, but I will come to you soon

if the Lord wills, and I shall find out not the

words of those who are arrogant, but their power.

For the kingdom of God does not consist in words,

but in power. What do you desire? Shall I come

to you with a rod or with a love and a spirit

of gentleness? Wow. What a forceful way to end

this section of the letter. Now, let's walk through

some of the key details. Look at verse 15. Verse

15. For though you have countless tutors, or

you could put in that word guardians or instructors.

So we have many tutors in Christ. Yet you don't

have many fathers. You don't have many fathers.

For in Christ Jesus, I became your father through

the gospel. So what you see here is Paul taking

a pause in his rebuke. He's been a little bit

harsh, a little bit sarcastic. He's pausing to

say, look, let me tell you why I'm writing with

such strong language. It's because you're my

beloved children. Okay, so this reorients the

way we think about love. I'm writing to you so

strongly because I love you. You're my children.

You are my spiritual offspring. And as your spiritual

father, I carry with me this tremendous responsibility

for your well -being, right? By the way, this

is the perfect message for Father's Day next

week, right? Because this is the heart of a good

father. Father's Day is next week. Y 'all remember

that, right? Okay, we're doing baby dedications.

We'll talk about dads. It's going to be great.

As your spiritual father, I carry with me this

deep responsibility for your well -being. That's

the heart of a father. He wants what's best for

his children. And this is something that he consistently

expresses throughout the New Testament to all

the churches that he plants and all the believers

that he finds there. And in this case in Corinth,

he was able to lead these. Corinthians to repentance

and saving faith in Christ. They are his spiritual

children in every sense of the word. And so he

has a very special relationship with them. Even

though he's far away, he still feels this very

special relationship. And the truth is, some

of you know this, when you lead somebody to saving

faith, And there's no better thing on the earth,

right, than you could do is to watch somebody

else come to saving faith by God's grace. When

you do that, it brings you into such a close

relationship with that person, and you feel the

weight of responsibility now to say, okay, let's

get you maturing in the faith. Let's get you

growing. And so that is what is motivating Paul

as he writes. He's brought these folks to saving

faith, but they're showing such foolishness and

such immaturity, and he's very, very concerned.

Now, he does a good job of making sure that we

don't get the wrong idea that, hey, it's all

about me, the guy who shared my faith with these

folks, right? It's not that he's responsible

for saving anyone. He makes it clear. It's in

Christ Jesus that I became your father. And I

did so through the gospel. It wasn't because

I'm super impressive. It wasn't because I had

the best presentation of the gospel ever. It's

the power of the gospel itself by the work of

the Holy Spirit, whereby God's power moved to

save you. And Paul's making that very clear.

But because he's in Christ, he has the power

of Christ moving through him. And because he's

embraced the truth of the gospel, he's seen it

change his own life. Now he can bring it to bear

upon the lives of others. Guys, when we share

our faith, if it's not in us first, transforming

us, it's really difficult to share it, isn't

it? But this is what Paul is able to do. And

again, this is a consistent pattern in his life.

It's in Corinth. It's in Ephesus. It's in the

Galatian churches and more. Paul goes to these

places. He plants churches. He plants believers

in those churches. And wherever God moves to

the power of the gospel, we find him picking

up more of these spiritual children. What a privilege

he had to see all these new converts throughout

the Greek world. to come to faith in Jesus. Sometimes

it's entire churches, by the way, like here in

Corinth. Other times you see certain unique individuals

being named, right? Paul has spiritual children

like Timothy and like Titus and like Lydia and

like Crispus and Onesimus and more. And in various

places, he refers to them as my little children,

right? And my sons in the faith and all these

beautiful fatherly statements. These folks are

very special and very important to him. Now,

by identifying himself as their spiritual father,

one thing you have to know, Paul's not disparaging

the other teachers in their lives, right? We've

already seen him talk about the value of other

teachers like Peter, like Apollos in this letter.

Every teacher that a Christian ever sits under

is going to be a part of developmentally moving

them forward in the faith. That's true of you

and I today. In your life, you're going to have

lots and lots of instructors in Christ. Lots

of them. But it's also true, it's likely that

you're not going to have many fathers or mothers.

Those are going to be few and far between. Now,

it's important that we define what Paul means

by tutors here or instructors. In the original

Greek, this had a very specific meaning that

his Corinthian audience would have fully understood,

even if we don't quite get it today. In that

Greco -Roman society, he's talking about a household

slave who the master has identified as being

trustworthy enough to become the guardian of

his own child. Someone who's able to be able

to take the life of this important child and

to mentor them, to morally develop them while

the master is unable to be there. So he's a guardian

of sorts. He's an overseer of that child's life.

That's what Paul's describing here in terms of

these instructors. You and I will have many people

like that in our lives over the decades. We'll

have many of them, but not many fathers, not

many mothers. So again, Paul's writing to a Greek

church. They understood exactly what he was describing.

And this was his point. You're going to have

lots of guardians like that over the years. They

will teach you many things. They will show you

important things. But at the end of the day,

you only have one true spiritual father. And

that's why I feel I can write to you and admonish

you and correct you and exhort you because I

care for you as a father. So it's important to

see that Paul's doing two things at one time

here. First, he's asserting his authority in

their lives as a father. And because of that

role, secondly, he's appealing to their loyalty

in hopes that they will hear him go, that's my

spiritual father and respond in obedience to

repent and change the way that they're functioning

there in the city of Corinth. Does that make

sense? That's what he's trying to do. And we're

going to see as we go through the letter, and

if you read 2 Corinthians, you'll find out even

more about how they actually responded. Okay,

so what does a spiritual father do? Well, first

and foremost, he loves and he cares for his children

in the faith. Now, that doesn't mean he loves

and cares like the world says. He loves and he

cares as Scripture tells us. And that means balancing

the two things you see on the screen, affection

and discipline. Affection and discipline. And

by the way, we all know this from our physical

parenting, don't we? Isn't that the best model

for physical parenting? A good father or mother

seeks to balance those two things, to be tenderhearted

on the one hand, but also to be corrective, which

is not an easy thing to balance, right? None

of us human beings ever gets this perfect, but

that's the goal, to balance affection and discipline.

Err too much on the side of affection, and your

child will become spoiled and entitled. right?

Err too much on the side of discipline and your

child will become resentful and rebellious. So

it's a tough balance that we walk. And you see

what's going on here. Paul wants the believers

to know that his tough words for them flow out

of his tender heart and his love for them. That

he has a real love and concern for their welfare.

It's as if he's saying, because of my love for

you, I want you to become more healthy. Because

of my great concern for you, I want you to move

towards maturity and away from this foolishness.

Look at verse 14. He says, I'm not writing these

things to shame you. That's not my goal. I don't

want you to feel beat up by me, but to admonish

and warn you as my beloved children. To admonish

and warn, right? Listen, we know, forget what

the world says for a second. It is not loving

to stand back and apathetically watch your child

self -destruct. That is not love. The world says,

oh, but, you know, you don't want to come down

too hard on them. So you stand back and you watch

your child implode. That is not love. Sometimes

we have to step in, right? We call this tough

love. We correct and we warn our children. We

say, son. Where we say, daughter, I'm telling

you this because it's best for you. And it's

my love that compels you to admonish you like

this. It compels me to admonish you. And by the

way, that's a great biblical word, admonish.

If you want to underline that in your text, it's

a great word. In the original Greek, it's nutheteo.

And it means, basically the meaning, it combines

a whole bunch of things. That by themselves,

we understand. Listen to these words. Instruct,

exhort, correct, and warn. So when we admonish

each other or a spiritual father admonishes you,

it's more serious than a general teaching, but

it's not as severe as a rebuke. It's somewhere

in between. Does that make sense? It's loving

but serious counsel that is brought to bear upon

a person's life with the goal of correction.

Okay, this is what a good parent does. It does

assume that there's a problem. When we admonish,

it assumes that there is a weakness or a sin,

and it's saying, look, you need to change course

because you're heading in a bad direction, and

I love you too much to let that happen. I love

you too much. This is good, solid, fatherly stuff.

Tough love. So Paul's trying to correct the Corinthian

believers here while at the same time, he's like,

I don't want to shame you. I don't want to make

you resentful of my authority over your lives.

So we talk about admonishing with gentleness

in order to correct, critiquing in love with

a view to bringing about change. This is the

obligation, dare I say, of a good parent. Make

sense? So there's these parallels between physical

parenting and spiritual parenting. That's very

important to understand. Then we come to verse

16. What's Paul's conclusion based on what I

just shared? Therefore, he writes, I exhort you,

be imitators of me. Acorns. Do you guys remember?

What does it mean to imitate someone? To follow

their example, to copy them. Very good, right?

Because actually the Greek word means to mimic,

right? It's to mimic somebody or to copy them.

Very good. Paul says, because of what I've just

written about your need to change course and

to move away from this foolishness, this is what

you now must do. This is what I'm exhorting you

to do. Imitate me. Now that's another really

important biblical word. We looked at admonish.

What does the word exhort mean? And it's parakaleo,

and it's a very interesting word. We've already

seen it used once in this letter. And we saw

it used multiple times in our recent study in

the book of Titus. Literally, this word means

to summon somebody or to call somebody to your

side. Right? So the word picture is, is I'm walking

down the street and I look at Doug and I say,

Doug, come here. And Doug walks up along my side

and I put my arm around him and I say, brother,

I've got a charge for you. I got something I

want. Sorry, Doug. We say, brother. I want to

strongly encourage you to do something. And the

reason I might do that with Doug is I know there's

something going on that he needs to know, something

that I see in his life. And as a mentor or a

spiritual father, I can say, hey, I strongly

encourage you to change course and to go in this

direction. That's what Paul's talking about here.

He's saying to his spiritual children, I want

you to imitate the way I think, how I walk with

Christ, how I face suffering. and more. In fact,

watch my entire pattern of life. I'm calling

you alongside to say, let me point these things

out to you. And again, what's the motivation?

His love and concern for them. Not because he

enjoys beating people down, right? That's often

the image we get of church leaders. You guys

just like to, you know, lord your authority over

us. No, it's love. It's concern. But sometimes

we need to step in and talk about hard things.

By the way, this isn't the only place that Paul

speaks like this. Later in this same letter,

in chapter 11, he's going to say this very famous

thing. He says what? Be imitators of me as I

imitate Christ. That is the beautiful picture.

The mentor is following Christ, and then you're

following the mentor, right? In the letter to

the Philippians, he says, The things that you

have, get this now, learned from me, received

from me, heard from me, seen in me, practice

these things, he says. You heard it in our call

to worship passage from earlier, which Adam read.

Paul says to the Thessalonians, you know. You

know this, how you ought to follow our example

as apostles. It's like, I've already taught you

this. You should follow our example as apostles,

speaking of how they were acting in the presence

of this church. He says, we offer ourselves,

get this now, as a model for you so that you

would follow our example. So this is a consistent

teaching that Paul has with his spiritual children.

Imitate me as I imitate Christ. Now, it's important

to point something out here. Paul's not trying

to usurp. The role that Christ himself has in

our lives as our great example. Acorns, who's

the very best example that we can follow? Very

good. Good answer. That's right. Paul's not trying

to usurp that role here. It's only because Paul's

found in Christ and because he's actively walking

with Jesus and abiding in Jesus that he can be,

that he qualifies to be an example for others.

And this is, by the way, important. We looked

recently at this incredibly important principle,

don't put teachers on a pedestal. This is something

very different, though, because when we talk

about the skill of teaching, somebody who can

just relate information, we have a tendency to

put those people on a pedestal. This is something

very different. This goes beyond just intellectual

understanding of teaching. This is life -on -life

stuff. We need life -on -life mentors in our

lives that can show us Christ by the way they

walk. Now, look at verse 17. Paul writes something

here that you wouldn't probably expect. He says,

for this reason, because I want you to imitate

me, I'm sending Timothy to you. What? Like, you'd

expect him to say, I want you to imitate me so

when I come to Corinth, you'll be able to watch

my life. But he doesn't do that. He says, you're

going to see my ways in Timothy. How amazing

is this, right? Paul has done such a good job

of being a spiritual father in discipling Timothy

that he can literally go to Corinth and stand

in Paul's place. What confidence he has in this

young man. And it's because he's done good spiritual

fathering in the life of Timothy, right? What

a blessing Timothy must have been. Did you know

that as an apostle or an elder, you can't be

everywhere at once? You can't, right? Elders,

right? We know this. You can't. And so what a

blessing to Paul's ministry. He's already stretched

thin. He's just covering all the churches in

the ancient world, right? With no airplanes or

anything, right? Can't text, can't FaceTime.

So yeah, to be able to send Timothy and have

such confidence to say, if Timothy's there, he's

going to show you my ways, what a blessing that

must have been. So Paul says, I want you to imitate

me, so I'm sending Timothy. And then he adds,

by the way, if you don't know who Timothy is,

he says, he is my beloved and faithful child

in the Lord. And he's going to come and remind

you of my ways, which are in Christ. That's important.

Not just my preferences or my opinions. which

are in Christ, just as I teach everywhere in

every church. So what's Timothy going to do?

He's going to show up there, and he's going to

love you guys, and he's going to show you exactly

what you should be doing, both in word and in

deed. Watch his life. He's going to show you

the principles of the Christian life that he

has seen in me, and he's going to relate those

things to you. Very important, right? And these

are the same principles, he says, that the apostles

that we teach in every place that we go, every

city, every region, because while there are cultural

differences in every place, the essentials of

the Christian life don't change. Amen? And so

what a picture we're given here. This is how

we truly make disciples, you guys. Listen carefully

to what I'm about to say. We all know, Matthew

28, make disciples, right? And then baptize them.

Here's how we do it. We teach it, we live it

out, and we reproduce it in others. This is what

Paul and Timothy have going on, right? And now

Timothy's gonna go to Corinth and he's gonna

develop, he's gonna become a spiritual father

to others. See how that works? We teach it, we

live it, we reproduce it. And that's the responsibility

of every single person here. Everyone who calls

upon the name of Jesus, which we'll get to in

just a second. Let's look at verse 18. Here comes

the stern warning. Some of you become arrogant,

right? Paul says, as though you're not going

to see me again, as though I'm not coming to

you, he writes. Now remember, for the better

part of four chapters, Paul's been saying, look,

there's real problems of division in Corinth.

And now here in verse 18, we finally get a little

bit clearer picture. Apparently, it wasn't just

that certain people in the church in Corinth

were lining up behind certain teachers and creating

cliques in the body and growing prideful and

judging others. That's all bad enough. But here

we find out that apparently some of these same

folks are actually bad -mouthing Paul. They're

bad -mouthing the apostle. They're claiming that

either We don't need you to come back or we don't

want you to come back to Corinth or we don't

think you have the guts to come back. Wow, can

you imagine the arrogance? What does Paul say

about that? By the way, we don't know who these

individuals are. We don't know how many there

were, but clearly Paul's become aware of it.

Somebody's told him it's happening. My guess

is he probably knew exactly who they were. And

listen, we've said this before in this series,

this kind of pride and rebellion is a cancer

in any church. It's a cancer, that type of rebellion

against God's established order. And so from

a leadership perspective, you cannot leave this

unchecked because it will only spread and affect

more of the body. So trusting that the Lord is

going to allow him to come back to Corinth, he

says to them in no uncertain terms, verse 19,

I will come soon. if the Lord wills, and I will

find out. Not what your talk is, right? Not the

talk of those who are arrogant, but I'm coming

to look at their power. How would you feel reading

that? Uh -oh, daddy's coming. Daddy's coming

home. How many of you guys remember that? Your

mom said, oh, your dad's coming soon. He'll be

here, right? And we're going to see, Paul says,

exactly what's going on. When I arrive, I'm going

to test your bravado here. We'll see if your

lives reveal a true work of the Spirit or not.

That's the power. Is your faith in Christ genuine?

When I get there, will I see fruit in your life

or will I see worldliness? Are you fleshly or

are you spiritual? Trust me, I think Paul already

knows the answer to that question because if

they were spiritual, they would not have stirred

up this type of division. They would not be taunting

the apostle. So he knows exactly what's going

on. What does he want from this letter? Repentance.

He knows what's going on there. He knows there's

a whole bunch of fleshliness happening. The point

of the letter is repentance, to produce that

in the Corinthian believers. Verse 20, he says,

for the kingdom of God does not consist of words,

but power. You know how we would say this in

English today? We'd say, talk is cheap. When

I get there, we're going to look at the actual

evidence. Because talk, it's not about talk.

You show me the fruit of the Spirit in your life.

And then Paul concludes with two rhetorical questions

that definitely would have gotten their attention.

He says, verse 21, what do you desire? He's like,

it's your call. How you respond to my letter

is going to tell me everything I need to know.

You make the choice. How would you like me to

arrive? I can come with a paddle as a disciplinarian

father, or I can come with big hugs. It's your

call. And it's up to their response. Listen,

I don't think there's any question in Paul's

mind which one he prefers, right? It's always

easier for a church leader to come with hugs

than with a paddle. But he'll do what is best

for his spiritual children. And that may require

the paddle. Because that's what a good father

does. Amen? Okay. So, let's do some practical

application. We have some time here to talk about

two really practical issues. for the church today,

and even for our church here at Oak Hill. Let

me talk first of all about this issue. Let's

talk about what we just read in terms of authority.

Authority in the church. This is one of the most

important things for all of us to understand

about church life, and it's something that, can

I just say, in the evangelical world, we don't

do this very well. Because especially as Americans,

we're like, I get to do what I want. You're not

the boss of me, right? But the church, if you've

studied church history, I know some of you nerds

are, it's always been about God's established

order in the body of Christ. And you don't want

to live in rebellion to what God has established.

So obviously there's no apostles on the earth

anymore, right? So there's no apostolic authority

over churches or over believers in the churches.

But when you look at the New Testament, you do

see a handoff. in terms of authority in the local

church, from apostles to this unique office in

the church called presbyteros or episkopos. And

we translate those as elders or overseers. And

we saw this specifically in the book of Titus.

Do you remember? Here's Paul, who's an apostle,

and he's writing to Titus, who is a younger but

fellow apostle. And he says, look, I want you

to go to Crete. And here's what I want you to

do. I want you to establish order on the island

of Crete by doing what? He says, establish elders

in every local body. That's God's plan. And by

the way, not a bishop. Don't go to the island

of Crete and create a bishop. Or don't create

a senior pastor. That's not a thing. He says,

go and create a plurality of elders, a team of

elders to oversee the local churches. I don't

know why we can't see that. It's just so obvious

in the Bible. But we just keep creating our own

ecclesial structures because we feel like it.

But that's what God has given us. Then he goes

on to say to Titus, by the way, here's the qualifications

for these elders. It's very important, right?

They've got to be men of integrity. Above reproach,

he says. They've got to be able to teach sound

doctrine and refute falsehood. And he goes on

to talk about those things. Friends. Here at

Oak Hill, we take those instructions really seriously.

We think we should live by them. And right now,

we have seven elders who are carrying out that

calling from the Lord. And passages like this

one in 1 Corinthians 4 tell us some of the ways

that we need to posture ourselves in relation

to you, the congregation. And let me just say

this. Last week, we talked about ways that you

can honor your leaders. I want to share with

you this morning just a little bit about behind

the scenes in church life. If you didn't know

this, serving as an elder is really difficult

work. Paul knew this, right? Obviously he knew

this. If you're under the impression that being

an elder is prestigious or glamorous, let me

sort that out for you this morning, just briefly.

As a lay elder, you put in long hours to serve

the body of Christ on top of your regular job.

You know, the one that actually pays you? Long

hours. And that means time away from your family.

All the time. Did you know that an elder's wife,

elder's children, sacrifice greatly for the sake

of the body because their husband, their dad,

is so busy overseeing the church? Have you ever

thanked an elder's wife? Something to think about.

It's a great sacrifice. Those hours include lots

of time discipling and counseling. Can I tell

you the emotional toll that takes on a man to

have a full -time job, to work hard, and then

to counsel and disciple that emotional toll of

doing that? It includes many, many hours of doing

prep work for all the preaching and teaching

that doesn't just magically happen in the local

church, sweating over the text of Scripture,

bearing the weight of what it means to handle

God's Word correctly. There's all the time in

communication with fellow elders and other leaders.

Overseeing various ministries, which means, trust

me, long email threads and long text threads,

right? Constant communication on top of the phone

calls. And like Paul, in the midst of doing all

those things for the benefit of others, oftentimes

you still feel the sting of criticism from the

very people you're trying to love and to serve.

And it breaks your heart. It can keep you up

at night. There are times when you have run -ins

with members who've grown prideful. and divisive,

and it tears at your soul. This was what Paul

was feeling as he was writing 1 Corinthians.

All of the long hours, the dedicated prayer time

over these saints that he loved so much, the

hardship of ancient travel. Can you imagine how

difficult it must have been? The physical and

emotional toll of ministry, the threats against

his life. Being hungry and thirsty and poorly

clothed and all those things we talked about.

And yet in the midst of all that, to have his

spiritual children in rebellion against his authority.

Judging them. Judging his work as an apostle.

From Corinth, of all places. Can you imagine

the heartache he was dealing with? Oh, and then

there's the problem issues that arise in every

local church, times when elders have to really

dig in and deal with really hard stuff, and times

when we have to take a posture like Paul does

here, where we have to come in and talk to people

we love and admonish them or rebuke them, exhort

them towards a better path. In those cases, sometimes

you're trying to bring out repentance for sin.

Sometimes you're dealing with divisiveness. Sometimes

you're just dealing with plain old foolishness

or blindness on the part of an immature believer.

And the goal for us, and we talk about this at

our elder meetings, is to balance patience and

gentleness, but also at the same time, firmness

and seriousness. And then there's also this,

in the midst of all that, It's part of our calling

as elders that we're supposed to set the example

for you. Talk about something that's heavy. It's

our job to set the example. We're supposed to

be able to say to this congregation, imitate

us as we imitate Christ. Observe our lives and

strive to live as we do. It's a heavy thing.

That's exactly what Peter talked about this back

in the first century. Peter said this. He said,

I exhort the elders, as your fellow elder, I

exhort you elders, what? Shepherd the flock of

God among you, exercising oversight and proving

yourself to be examples to the flock. That's

our calling. So it's a tough gig that we have.

And I don't say this because I'm begging for

sympathy. Your elders are not doing that. We've

embraced this calling that God has given to us.

But here's what I want you to take from this

and what I want you to see from what Paul is

going through. In 1 Corinthians 4, I want you

to know that for us to truly love you and care

for you as shepherds and fathers, there's going

to be times when we need to exhibit tough love.

That's part of our calling. Sometimes that tough

love comes in the form of a hard sermon. Right?

How many times have you thought, I've actually

heard you guys say this, Jeff, were you talking

to me? Did you write this sermon for me? No,

I didn't. But sometimes it comes in that form.

It's a hard sermon or it's in discipleship. It's

a challenge to grow in maturity. Or sometimes

it's a rebuke and a counseling appointment. This

is part of our job. And I hope and I pray for

myself and for all of our elders that we will

always balance those two things, affection and

discipline for you. That's our goal. And that

as we do that, even if we bring tough love, that

you will sense that we care deeply for you. But

it's important for you to realize that this is

part of our calling and then receive it well

from us, just as the Corinthians needed to hear

this from Paul. Make sense? Last thing, let's

talk about this issue of spiritual fathers. Or,

by the way, spiritual mothers. This is not just

a male issue, right? Christian men need spiritual

fathers. Christian women need spiritual mothers.

Acorns? Who else besides Jesus can we follow

as our example? Zeke. Zeke Fonda, ladies and

gentlemen. Good job, Carr. Adults who love Jesus.

Exactly. Listen, as Paul says in this passage,

we're going to have many, many teachers in our

lives. Okay, so what does that mean? You're going

to have pastors and elders and small group leaders

and college faculty and conference speakers,

even authors of books. And they're going to teach

you many things. And those are all great things.

But when we talk about spiritual fathers and

mothers, we're talking about something much deeper

than that. And because here in our text, Paul's

writing from a unique apostolic perspective here,

I think we can broaden out the application for

us today because it's not the first century anymore.

And the reality is, guys, and this is true of

me as well, not all of us are in contact with

the person who led us to faith or in close connection

with that person anymore. And so a spiritual

father or mother doesn't always have to be the

person who led you to faith. but you still need

this type of person in your life. So this is

something we all need to think about. We all

need this. And this means that we're going to

have to seek people out that we know are worthy

of imitation and saying, I need a spiritual father.

I need a spiritual mother who I can imitate as

they imitate Christ. And whoever that person

is, you can call them a spiritual mentor. You

can call them a discipler. The key to it all

is depth of relationship. That's what separates

you from the guy who writes a book. You read

something in a book, you're like, I learned something

here. That's not depth of relationship. We're

talking about something bigger here. And interestingly,

Paul actually gives us a snapshot in his second

letter to Timothy. He describes all the ways

that he and Timothy have this deep relationship.

Let me read this to you. He says, you, Timothy,

you followed, here's the list, you followed my

teaching, my conduct. my purpose, my faith, my

patience, my love, my perseverance, my persecutions,

and my sufferings. So you say, well, how did

Paul and Timothy become so close? Did you hear

that list? I'll read it again. These are all

the ways that Timothy observed Paul's life. Teaching,

conduct, purpose, faith, patience, love, perseverance.

persecutions, and sufferings. Timothy said, I

watched you walk through all those things. So

I know the pattern of Paul's life. So a spiritual

father or mother is a person who's going to be

involved in your life in so many ways. They're

going to faithfully care for you. They're going

to be involved in your ongoing Christian formation.

They're going to give you sustained discipleship.

They're going to help you mature in your knowledge.

And in your understanding and how you walk with

the Lord. And yes, a spiritual father and mother

is going to admonish you and correct you when

that becomes necessary. Now this person has to

be worthy of imitation. You're following this

person as he or she is following Christ. So you

have to be close enough to observe the way they

walk. Observe the way they walk. You want to

look at practical things. How does my spiritual

father or mother, how do they function in marriage?

Is it a healthy marriage? How so? How do they

parent? Are they doing a good job to parent biblically?

How do they develop their own habits and disciplines

of the Christian life? And then practical things.

How do they manage their time? How do they manage

their finances? Right? What do they prioritize?

How consistent are they? This is what makes somebody

worthy of imitation. And then church -related

things. What do their ministries look like? How

do they show love and care? How do they serve

the body of Christ? Is that worthy of imitation?

And then the really hard part about having a

spiritual father or mother, you have to give

them permission to ask you hard questions. You

have to give them permission to dig into your

heart so they can point things out that you might

not see. You have to let them push you towards

greater maturity in the faith. And listen, guys,

I can testify. I know I'm an old man now, but

I can testify to the value of this from my younger

days. God brought a man into my life, actually

several men, who really spoke into my early spiritual

walk with the Lord, and it made all the difference

in the world. One of them, the man who baptized

me, became such an amazing example. He was always

involved in church life. He was an elder. He

was a Bible study teacher, and he was a missionary.

In fact, he went on to to preach and build orphanages

in Haiti. Just an amazing guy. And I will forever

be indebted to the Lord for bringing him into

my life. Now I'm an older man and I don't have

that close proximity. He's in very poor health

right now and really struggling. I don't have

that proximity. So even myself at 63 years old

and a pastor of a church, I still need spiritual

fathers. And so now I look to my fellow elders,

all of them. I know some of them are younger

than me. That's okay. Some of them are older,

but I see in each one of them certain parts of

their walk of faith that I want to imitate. So

you've got to be intentional about this. I'm

so thankful that Tanya and I have the privilege

of walking through this stage of our life with

fellow elders and their wives who can be great

examples to us. Now, for some of you, Are you

ready for the admonishment? Some of you, not

only should you have a spiritual mentor, you

should be a spiritual mentor. You should be a

spiritual mentor to somebody else. And if you're

not, if you've been a believer for decades and

you're not a spiritual father or mother to anyone,

I want to wake you up this morning to that deficiency.

And I don't say that to be mean -spirited, but

that exact rebuke is found in Hebrews 5. Did

you know that? In Hebrews 5, the author says,

by now you should be teachers, but you haven't

grown up. You still need milk, spiritual milk,

not solid food. So this is a rebuke that we can

lay on the church today. Look, some of you by

now should be teachers, should be spiritual mentors,

but you're still looking to somebody else, but

you're not looking behind to see who needs help

behind you. This is the responsibility of every

believer in this room. The Christian life is

not self -centered. It's always other -centered.

So for every man here this morning, every man,

every man, you should be striving to someday

be elder qualified. You should be striving to

be elder. It doesn't mean you'll be an elder,

but you should strive for those qualifications

because that is the description of a mature man.

That should be your goal. Ladies, you can't take

the office of an elder, but there are many lofty

spiritual goals for you to go after. Becoming

a spiritual mother to younger ladies. Serving

in women's ministry. Be a part of our women's

council. Many great targets for you to look at.

This is a pattern we see lived out by Paul and

Timothy. A spiritual child imitates his or her

mentor's way of life. becomes more mature in

the faith, and then turns around and says, what?

It's time for me to be a spiritual father. It's

time for me to be a spiritual mother. Imagine

Timothy saying, imagine Timothy saying, you know

what? I like following Paul. It's really comfortable.

It's great. I don't want to lead anybody else.

It's not what I'm called to do. It's not what

I'm gifted to do. No, no, no. That's not an option

that we're given. This is reproduction in the

kingdom of God. Just simple yet profound biblical

process of multiplication. Because the Christian

life is not static. Did you know this? It's not

static. It's always moving forward, always moving

towards maturity in Christ, always looking ahead

to our mentors and then turning around and taking

hold of somebody else and saying, come with me.

So if this is a new concept, that's okay. There's

grace, there's patience, but this is for all

of us as believers. This is how the kingdom operates.

Amen? Okay, so right there I just gave you an

example of a little admonishment, right? Receive

that well, because it's important. Okay, we're

four chapters into Paul's letter. What he's done,

I know he's been dealing with the same issue.

He's laying a foundation for everything he's

about to say in chapters 5 through 16. See, here's

the thing. In order to get to those issues, the

first thing he has to deal with is the pride

of these Corinthians. He's gotta deal with their

fleshliness. He's gotta root out all the divisive

tendencies. He's gotta have them embrace humility

and weakness. It's only when fundamental matters

like that are set straight that you can then

address other problems. And so Paul's done that.

We'll keep building on that as we go through

because all of those principles are gonna show

up all the way through chapter 16. Now, next

Sunday, you get a break from 1 Corinthians. It's

Father's Day. Adam's gonna be here. He's getting

close to finishing Ecclesiastes, which is very,

we'll celebrate Father's Day, right? Baby dedications.

And then the following Sunday, gird your loins.

We're in chapter five. And it's going to get

very, very interesting. Let's bow our heads.

Heavenly Father, as I step back and I look at

these four chapters, it's so humbling, Lord,

to know how you have designed the church so perfectly

and to know that we as human beings so often

mess it up. You've given us the blueprint and

we choose to be fleshly and we choose to be divisive

and we choose to not want your established authority

in our lives. We, in our rebellion, just want

to do what we want to do. And so I pray that

you'll break us of those habits, that you'll

cause us to desire to submit. to the principles

of your word, desire to submit to authority structures

and the calling that you have on our lives. God,

I pray for Oak Hill. You will continue to raise

up mature believers who can serve as fathers

and mothers to others and that you will keep

raising up another generation of men and women

who want to turn around and mentor others. God,

would you do that reproducing work in this local

church? We ask that you would do that, Father,

because we know it's for our good and even more

importantly for your glory. So do that work in

us, Father, according to your perfect will. We

pray in Christ's name.