Life On The Vine: Patience

Steve Stevenson: Happy Father's Day

I said happy Father's Day.

Happy Father's Day.

I know we got a lot of Father's Day.

I know we got a lot of fathers in here.

And so, uh, I guess it's already there twice now.

So it's, I guess they're three times.

All right.

Well, I am a father, and so I wanted to just have a few pictures of my kids.

Uh, this just happened last month.

My, uh, daughter married her husband, and that's John, Jonathan Acue, and this

was in the botanical gardens in Hawaii.

Okay?

Whoo.

So it's pretty awesome, pretty encouraging.

So, uh, my daughter's here, and I'll talk a little bit more about her

later, but I'm super encouraged, uh, to have both of my kids here today.

My son will be coming out to read in a little bit.

Um, this is my son.

He got married back in August.

This was his wedding in San Clemente.

Uh, his wife is not here because she's finishing up her time in the

military, six years in the Army Reserve.

Whoa.

And so she's flying in to, uh, John, John Wayne, and my son will

be leaving early to pick her up.

But, uh, super encouraging just, uh, being a father to these two amazing kids.

Uh, and then I also am a son to a father.

Uh, this is my dad.

I- and, uh, this is, uh, Soren and my dad.

We went…

We chartered a boat, and we went fishing in Lake Mille Lacs.

My son caught a big walleye.

It's beautiful.

Uh, I didn't have room for the picture.

But, uh, you'll just have to believe me, and I know fish, I know fish stories.

I know.

I know fish stories are a real thing.

Yeah.

But it was a big one.

And, uh, anyways, I'd like to say that the fish I caught were bigger,

but they were absolutely not.

Okay?

Uh, so…

And then this is new for me.

Happy Grandfather's Day.

Our grandson was born May 15th, and, uh, his name is Daniel

La'akea, which means sacred light in Hawaiian, uh, 'cause his father's

Hawaiian, and, uh, last name is Aku.

And so it's super encouraging.

I, I don't know, I've…

Maybe I've neglected in the past to say Happy Grandfather's Day 'cause

it just wasn't part of my experience, and I wasn't thinking that way.

So I wanna apologize to all the grandfathers.

If I've never said that before, this is my repentance, okay?

Now I'm part of the cool grandpa club.

And so now when I come up here, I will always say Happy Grandfather's Day.

Amen?

Amen.

All right.

Now, I did wanna just say something.

This is just a little free plug.

Every Friday morning at 6:00 AM- Whoo … a bunch of brothers and I get

together, and we pray for our kids, okay?

And we've kinda kept it to a small group, but we decided, you know what?

We're seeing God do a lot of amazing things in our families.

We're seeing God work in our kids' hearts, and we wanna open this

up for any fathers that would actually want to be a part of it.

So, you know, it's, uh, it's been an amazing experience for me, and we've been

doing this for years and years and years.

Amen?

So again, today's, uh, series, we're continuing on with

the series Life on the Vine.

You know, when you're living life on the vine, you're feeling fine.

I'm starting to sound like Marcel.

So anyway, today we are like, uh, we're gonna dig into a new

fruit of the spirit, patience.

And so I'm gonna be talking about Jesus is patient with us.

That's right.

That's our only point, okay?

Yeah.

And that really is the point . Yeah.

Is that Jesus is patient with us, and we'll do a little

bit of a, uh, study on this.

Now patience, the Greek word is makrothymia.

This Greek word, excuse me, describes the grace to bear

with people in their weakness.

The fruit of patience comes from God as we remain in the vine and

walk in step with the Holy Spirit.

And we gotta walk in step with the Spirit, don't we?

Yeah.

We have got to walk in step with the Holy Spirit.

Biblical patience is not passive, but it's active.

It's a love-driven fruit of the Spirit, and it means long tempered.

Long tempered, the word combines two Greek words, macros, long, and thymos, temper.

So it's long tempered, the exact opposite of a short fuse.

Wow.

The exact opposite.

Now-

Dads, I'm not gonna try to make you feel guilty, okay?

But this is a s- the, this short-fused, this not being patient.

Rusty's laughing probably 'cause, uh … Anyway, I won't say.

But, uh, but it's, it's one of these things where men,

we can struggle with anger.

Why?

Because anger is the least vulnerable emotion, and sometimes when we

don't know how to be vulnerable

Thank you for two waters.

I appreciate that

Sometimes when we don't know how to express our emotions, we don't know

how to be vulnerable, 'cause men aren't good at that, we just express

it in anger 'cause it's easier.

For me, I get angry when I don't know what to do.

I get angry when I don't know how to express what I'm really feeling.

Uh, I get angry when I feel, like I said, just hurt by, by someone.

And so I have to really be in touch with that.

So I don't know if it was just the Holy Spirit that was like, "You're preaching

on patience, because you need it."

And you know what?

I do.

And whenever you find out you're preaching about something, I'm sure most people

who preach know this, somehow you get tested all week long leading up to it.

Yeah.

Somehow you get tested all week long leading up to it.

But I wanna just read our passage in Galatians 5, but I do

wanna read a little bit before.

The Bible says in Galatians 5:13, "You, my brothers and sisters,

Galatians 5:13

you were called to be free."

I love that all of us were called to be free.

It says, "But do not use your freedom to indulge in the flesh.

Rather, serve one another humbly in love."

Skips down to verse 16, "So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not

gratify the desires of the flesh."

Then he goes into all the different fleshly desires, and he talks

about, hey, these are in conflict with what God desires for you.

And so he says, "The acts of the sinful nature, the flesh, they're

obvious," goes through it, but then he skips down to verse 22 and he says,

"But the fruit of the Spirit," "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy,

peace, forbearance," talking about patience, talking about long-suffering.

You know, I love that we serve a God that is patient with us.

Yeah.

I love that.

That fires me up when I think about it.

It makes me feel secure in my relationship with God.

But what comes to mind when you think of patience?

I'm not gonna have you answer for the sake of time, but in your head, what

comes to mind when you think of patience?

I'm gonna share with you what comes to mind when I think of patience.

Okay.

She said, "Please wait in the truck.

I'll only be in the store for five minutes."

Okay.

This, this is where God has had to work on me in my patience.

My wife will be like, "I'm just gonna run in Costco."

"I'm just gonna run in Target.

I'm just gonna run in Walgreens.

I'm just gonna run into the store real quick.

I'll be back in five minutes."

And man, whoo, there was a time where I'd be like, "I'm putting her on the clock."

"And if she comes back late, I'm gonna let her know."

And let's just say that didn't go so well.

Let's just say that didn't work for the marriage.

Let's just say that didn't work for God as someone who's calling

me to be a person with patience.

And so, you know, patience, what I have found is that it's very powerful

But why?

Why is patience so powerful?

You know, I believe that it calms conflicts

Proverbs 15:18 tells us that patience calms quarrels,

Proverbs 15:18

while a hot-tempered person stirs up conflict.

See, when I would get upset, when I would get angry, whether it's with

my wife taking longer than five minutes, or whether it's with my

kids doing something that I would prefer maybe that they didn't do

I would get angry.

And God's like, "No, that's not the fruit of the Spirit.

If you're gonna walk in step with the Spirit, that has to change.

If you're going to live the free life that I want you to live, this has to change."

Amen.

The other thing about that makes it so powerful is that

it reflects the life of Jesus.

Amen.

People see a patience in you that's really different.

When they see that you're different than other people, it makes a huge difference.

In fact, it reflects the life of Jesus.

The ultimate model of this fruit of the Spirit is Jesus.

Amen.

He maintained his composure, and he dealt gently with the doubts

and betrayal by his disciples.

His patience provides healing for those who are willing to be healed

You know, we're gonna talk a little bit about Jesus and his patience today.

Kinda do a character study of Peter specifically, okay?

But we coulda done it about Thomas, because Thomas was constantly doubting,

and Jesus was patient with him.

He would say, "Why you doubt?"

But then he would go, "Here, l- let me help you."

He goes, "Touch my, touch my side.

Look at my hands."

He was very patient with him.

You think about Paul, the Apostle Paul, he was persecuting and killing Christians,

and yet Jesus was patient with him.

And if you read Paul's writings, he talks a lot about the patience of Jesus

But Peter is the one I wanna talk about today

Because when we focus on patience and the spirit of patience and living in this

way, it allows you to partner with God to either write or rewrite your story

If you are patient, you can change the trajectory of your life

You can change your family.

You can change your impact in your neighborhood.

You can change your impact at work if you have a sh- if you have a

long fuse instead of a short fuse.

We all know someone with a short fuse, don't we?

Don't say any names.

But we all know somebody, don't we?

And we're like, "Man, this person, they just, ugh."

But the reality is it's just so inspiring.

It's such a fruit of the Spirit when we're patient.

Amen?

Amen.

2 Peter 3:8-9.

2 Peter 3:8–9

It says, "But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord

a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day."

That verse alone should tell you God's patient.

Yeah.

You're going, "Oh, this is taking a whole day."

It's like, if it took 1,000 years, it wouldn't…

You know?

That's just, He- God is not time.

He's not restricted by time.

Yeah.

It's often time that makes us impatient, because we put time limits.

If I start to go too long in this lesson-

It's gonna test your patience.

Now, I'm not, I'm gonna try not to test your patience.

Amen?

But you never know what the Holy Spirit's gonna do.

But it says, "But the Lord is not slow in keeping His promise

as some understand slowness.

Instead…"

This is Peter's view of Jesus.

"Instead, He is patient with you."

Not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

Now, because of my voice, you probably haven't noticed-

because you're so patient.

But because of my voice, I asked my son, since he ended up getting to come after

all today, uh, to read these scriptures.

Okay?

So the thing I wanna ask you is why do you think Peter chose the

word patience to describe Jesus' interaction with him or with us?

Okay.

So this is my son, Soren.

He's, he serves as a campus minister at Cal State San Marcos in the

San Diego church, he and his wife.

So he's gonna go ahead and read these verses for me, and

then I'll comment in between.

So

Soaren Stevenson: Awesome.

Steve Stevenson: Go ahead.

Soaren Stevenson: All right.

John 18- John 18 … 15 through 18, and then I'm gonna read 25 through 27.

That's a little bit of a typo.

All right, John 18:15 through 18.

John 18:15–18

"Simon Peter and another disciple were following Jesus.

Because this disciple was known to the high priest, he went with Jesus

into the high priest's courtyard.

But Peter had to wait outside at the door.

The other disciple, who was known to the high priest, came back, spoke to the

girl on duty there, and brought Peter in.

'You are not one of his disciples, are you?'

the girl at the door asked Peter.

He replied, 'I'm not.'

It was cold, and the servants and officials stood around a fire

that they had made to keep warm.

Peter also was standing with them, warming himself."

Steve Stevenson: Thank

Soaren Stevenson: you.

25 through 27.

"As Simon Peter stood warning him- warming himself, he was asked, 'You

are not one of his disciples, are you?'

He denied it again, saying, 'I'm not.'

One of the high priest's servants, a relative of the man whose ear

Peter had cut off, challenged him.

'Didn't I see you with him in the olive grove?'

Again, Peter denied it, and at that moment a rooster began to crow."

Steve Stevenson: Hmm.

How do you think Peter's feeling right there?

He's hurting, right?

He's in a situation where, if we read the next verse, he said he

would never be in this situation.

He said that it would never happen.

And yet here he is sitting around a campfire, and he's basically denying

that he even knows Jesus, which is just shocking because everything

we know about Peter up to this point, nothing prepared us for this.

Because sometimes we find ourself doing things that we never thought we would do.

Mm.

But the amazing thing about God is that even if we blow it,

even if we make mistakes, those mistakes do not have to define us.

Amen?

Amen.

Go ahead and go to the next verse.

Soaren Stevenson: Matthew 26:33 through 35

Matthew 26:33–35

Peter replied, "Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will."

"I tell you the truth," Jesus answered, "this very night before the rooster

crows, you will disown me three times."

But Peter declared, "Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you."

And all the other disciples said the same.

And then verse 75

Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: "Before the rooster crows,

you will disown me three times."

And he went outside and wept bitterly

Steve Stevenson: Here's Peter, and he's literally weeping bitterly

over mistakes that he made.

He's denied his best friend.

He's feeling the guilt.

He's feeling the shame.

And probably if things were to have been left in that situation,

every time he would sit around a campfire, he would be reminded

I denied Jesus around a campfire.

And in that culture, he was gonna sit around a lot of campfires.

And it was gonna be really, really difficult for him to ever process

and reframe this in a way that would be healing in any way for his life.

And so you can imagine the guilt, the shame.

The Bible says that he ended up weeping bitterly over this.

Have you ever wept bitterly over things, mistakes that you've made?

I think about times where I have hurt my kids or hurt my

wife, and I just wept bitterly.

Like, "God, why?

Why did I get angry?"

Or, "God, why did I do this?"

I remember early on in, in our marriage, there was a time where my wife would

always say, like … 'Cause I'd always say, "Hey, if we get into conflict,

we have to resolve it right now."

And she'd be like, "I need time.

I can't resolve it right now."

And I'd be like, "No, right now."

Very impatient.

And I remember one time I just kept pushing her, kept pushing

her, kept pushing her, and then she just broke down, crying.

And I remember sitting there looking at her going

And I'm not saying you should do this unless you mean it.

But I sat there and I watched her, and I felt helpless to help her.

And I said, "God, if I ever do this again to my wife, kill me."

'Cause I don't ever wanna treat my wife like that ever again.

I wanna be patient with her when she's in these situations where she's

not ready to talk about something.

I wanna give her her space.

I don't wanna push her to a place where it hurts her, where she's not

ready, where she needs to be able to process the things she's feeling.

I don't wanna do that to her

Just a couple days ago, I was with my daughter, and we were talking

about things, and my daughter was being incredibly patient with me.

Again, they just moved here from Hawaii, and they're living with us for a period

of time that's-- We don't know the exact amount of time, but I'm patient

because I know that God's in control.

Amen?

Yes.

But we had this amazing talk, and she was sharing things with me.

She was being incredibly patient, sharing different experiences that

she had in our relationship, and she made a decision roughly nine or ten

years ago that she was no longer gonna be part of the church, and she wanted

to explore a different lifestyle, um, outside of, you know, the church.

And I-- And amen, we all have free will.

All of us do.

So she went on her journey, and I would pray every day, "God, I know my

daughter's building an amazing testimony.

I know she's building an amazing testimony."

Um, but as we're having this talk, all of a sudden, just nine years of dreaming

and being so, like, wounded in a sense in the relationship, ways I've hurt her

It weighs…

I mean, we hurt each other.

Amen.

And I just broke down weeping.

Wow.

And I was like, because I see God working in her heart,

which also works in my heart.

Amen.

And I'm just like, "God, you are so patient.

You are so patient."

Just like God was patient with me when I studied the Bible,

God was patient with me.

He would not let…

He would not treat me as my sins deserved.

Yes.

He would not do it, and he won't do it for…

He won't treat any of us as our sins deserve.

Praise God, right?

Yes.

And so I just wept, and then my daughter came over and she comforted me.

And we need that time sometimes to just get in touch with what we're

feeling, and what we're going through, and the challenges that we're facing.

It was an incredibly healing time for me.

I believe it was for her as well.

But the truth is, is Peter was feeling a lot because he had done something

he said he would never do, just as, you know, I had hurt my daughter and

had said things that I never should have said, and was grateful by her

willing to for- willingness to forgive.

Let's keep moving because…

But amen.

Praise God it wasn't left there with Peter, okay?

Hallelujah.

There's a second act to the story here, and I believe it's a divine reversal

of God saying, "Let me take something that seems impossible to change,

and let me completely transform it."

And so here we are.

The scene is another fire.

Amen.

Another fire, okay?

Let's go.

Soaren Stevenson: Okay.

John 21:1-8.

John 21:1–8

"Afterward Jesus appeared again to his disciples, by the Sea of Tiberias.

It happened this way: Simon Peter, Thomas, Nathaniel from Cana in

Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together.

'I'm going out to fish,' Simon Peter told them, and they said, 'We'll go with you.'

So they went out and got into the boat.

But that night they caught nothing.

Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples

did not realize that it was Jesus.

He called out to them, 'Friends, haven't you any fish?'

'No,' they answered.

He said, 'Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.'

When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because

of the large number of fish.

Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, 'It is the Lord.'

As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, 'It is the Lord,' he wrapped his outer garment

around him and jumped into the water.

The other disciples followed in the boat, towing the net full of fish, for they

were not far from shore, about 100 yards."

Steve Stevenson: Read first.

Soaren Stevenson: When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals

there with fish on it and some bread

Steve Stevenson: Okay, so here's the scene.

Remember, Jesus had betrayed, even knowing Jesus.

Now, Jesus is sitting on the shore, he's resurrected, and the disciples

are now seeing him again, but they're not even sure that it's him on shore.

But they can't catch any fish, and Jesus yells from the shore, you know, kinda

like sometimes Rusty can't catch fish.

But

But which, you know, sometimes I can't either, okay?

Um, but, but the reality is this.

They throw the net on the other side, which makes zero sense.

If I was Peter, I would be impatient.

Look, I fish every day.

You're trying to tell me to cast the net on the other side as though

that is actually a way to fish?

He could have been really impatient, but he's like, "Hey, let's do it."

So he does it.

He catches so many fish, about 153 fish, and then he sees this guy

in this, on the shore, and I think instinctively he knew, "It's Jesus.

It's Jesus."

And so I love that he came to meet with Jesus, and let's read this last part

Soaren Stevenson: Verse 15.

"When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, 'Simon, son of John,

do you truly love me more than these?'

'Yes, Lord,' he said, 'You know that I love you.'

Jesus said, 'Feed my lambs.'

Again, Jesus said, 'Simon, son of John, do you truly love me?'

He answered, 'Yes, Lord.

You know that I love you.'

Jesus said, 'Take care of my sheep.'

The third time he said to him, 'Simon, son of John, do you love me?'

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, 'Do you love me?'

He said, 'Lord, you know all things.

You know that I love you.'

Jesus said, 'Feed my sheep.

I tell you the truth.

When you were younger, you dressed yourself and went where you wanted, but

when you're old, you will stretch out your hands and someone else will dress you and

lead you where you do not want to go.'

Jesus said to th- Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by

which Peter would glorify God.

Then he said to him, 'Follow me.'"

Steve Stevenson: Good.

All right.

So I love this, I love this tension being resolved right here by the fire.

Now Jesus is restoring him back to fellowship.

He's reinstating him, and he's saying, "Look…"

Actually, my son's gotta go, right?

Yeah.

All right.

Gotta go.

Love you, man.

Love you.

Thanks.

See you guys.

He's gotta, he's gotta go get his wife, okay?

Yeah, he's been away from his wife for two weeks.

I would rush out as well

But here, here we are.

Jesus is saying, "Let me resolve this tension.

It was a fire where he, Peter denied me.

I can't let Peter live with this.

We've gotta change the narrative.

It's gotta be something different.

Let's, let's figure out how we can change his view of this experience

for the rest of his life."

So, He comes, He sits at a fire, and now three times he had denied Him at a fire.

Now three times he reasserts his love for Jesus.

And then Jesus restores him and says, "Hey, come follow me.

Peter, come.

Come follow me."

And we know that this is transformational for Peter, because everything we

see about Peter after this is that Peter is like, "Let's go, baby.

Let's go help people.

Let's change the world."

He had this desire to make a difference.

Peter, although had been afraid, even with the little girl, saying,

"Hey, I think you're one of them."

Even with the little girl, he got scared.

But now Peter would go up against all the different people that

he had denied Christ before.

In Acts 2 we see that he preaches the word.

3,000 people are saved because of his message when he called

people to repent and be baptized.

And I go, "Wow, God's amazing."

Yeah.

God isn't going to let our mistakes define us.

No, no.

If we're willing to take responsibility and look inside,

God can change the narrative.

God can change your experience.

I don't know ways that maybe you've been hurt or different

experiences that you've had.

I don't know the way some of us may have spoke to our kids.

Or spoke to our parents.

But God wants us to change the narrative.

Amen.

God wants us to have a great experience around our fire.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

We don't have to be defined by the mistakes of the past - No … but

we can be refined by them- Yes … through the fires of challenge.

Does that make sense?

Yeah.

Come on.

Patience helps us to be refined in that way.

Peter appreciates and grasps that patience, and I'll go back to this

verse, "So do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord

a day is like a thousand years, a thousand years are like a day.

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness.

Instead he is patient with you."

Yeah.

Peter could say this from experience because Jesus had been patient with him.

And you know what?

Jesus wants to be patient with you.

Yeah.

He wants to help you.

He wants to strengthen you.

He wants to help you resolve issues maybe that were hurtful in the past.

He wants you to work through things in a way that will help you to

even continue to mature and grow beyond what you ever imagined.

This was years later when Peter is saying this.

It's years later, as an elder, and he's communicating to the, the importance of

understanding that he is patient with you.

He wants everyone to perish.

He do- excuse me, with you, not wanting anyone to perish.

Excuse me.

Woo, almost messed that up.

That was some twisted scripture right there, man.

Okay.

Come on.

Instead, he's patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish- Yeah … but

everyone to come to repentance.

You see, it's God's heart that we all repent.

Repentance is a good thing.

Amen.

You know, when I was a young minister, our evangelist used

to say, "Hey, repentance is fun.

Are we having fun yet?"

And I would go, "Yeah, I'm having fun, man.

I'm repenting."

Bible says, "Repentance brings times of refreshing from the Lord."

Repentance is for everyone, not just non-Christians, but for Christians.

And we can turn, we can turn away from whatever experience it was in

the past, and we can turn toward God.

That's what repentance is.

And we can do what's right in the eyes of God.

We can change.

We can grow.

We can become all that God wants us to become.

Jesus had a huge vision for Peter.

Yeah.

But it wasn't that he would sit around a campfire and be reminded of his failures.

It was that he would be forgiven and that he would experience the victory,

and he would know that Jesus wanted to change the narrative of his story.

Amen?

I just wanna share here, I told you that my daughter had left the church for a

few years On Friday night at 11:00 PM she made a decision to repent and be baptized.

Amen?

She's right here.

You wanna…

Can you…

No, you wanna stand up?

Okay.

She doesn't wanna stand up.

Okay.

She's the one there in the middle with the towel okay?

She's got the towel right there.

She just got baptized.

I- it's…

Guys I love that God loves my daughter

My God, I, I love that God isn't going to let her be defined by her past, but that

He wants to give her a hopeful future.

And I'm thankful for the women who were involved in the Bible study.

I'm thankful for the opportunity to have watched God do miracles in her life.

It helped build my faith.

It helped me to understand how patient God is, wanting all people to be saved.

So I just wanna encourage you, never give up on your kids.

Fathers, never give up on your kids.

Kids, never give up on your fathers.

Never give up on your mothers either, okay?

But it's Father's Day.

It's Father's Day, okay?

So give us one day, all right?

Give us one day

So as we close it out, I just want…

I'm not gonna give you any to-dos today 'cause it's Father's Day, all right?

I do wanna give a few statements.

What is the Father's Day takeaway?

What is the Father's Day takeaway?

Jesus is able to reframe our pain.

Our past does not define us, and Jesus is patient with us.

Amen.