The Tongue | James: Tried, Tested & True

as we continue to grow as a church,

and that is really, really exciting.

So today, we are gonna talk about,

we'll be in chapter three, talking about something very,

I mean, let's just call it for what it is,

it is very poignant to my life and to your life,

because it's something, even for you introverts,

even for you soft-spoken people,

something that we all struggle with.

And what's interesting is why James calls this out,

and this is all gonna be on the tongue,

hence the title of the sermon,

that there's pretty much, there was no other title for it,

because it's literally what we dive into in chapter three.

And before we do that, there's one principle

that James is going to kind of bring about

that I really wanna center on for a couple minutes,

and it's the weight of words.

Now, whether you've heard the old adage,

God gave us how many years?

Two?

Okay, all of you should get that, by the way.

Two ears and one mouth, right?

So if you do the numbers, you should be using your ears

more than your words, and I know,

and I'm looking at myself, sometimes I go,

no, I think I have five mouths and two ears,

and they went out.

But understand that why James is doing this

is he's talking to that first century, if you will,

of where he's at, as far as the tongue goes,

and the reason why is because the church,

the believers were not using words right.

That words offer weight.

One of the things that I talk about

in orientation with elders and deacons,

and we're gonna talk about that in a couple weeks

when we do the casting of lots in June

and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

But one of the things we talk about

is this idea of confidentiality.

That is a big piece in our church order

about the weighty matters that are talked about

in the elder room and the deacon room,

stay in the elder and the deacon room.

And you guys may have been a part of churches

that when all of a sudden loose lips sink ships,

it can come out, if that stuff comes out

of the council room, it's terrible, right?

Because sometimes we talk about sensitive natures of things.

And one of the things that I instruct,

I will never tell an elder that

he can't tell his wife something.

That is not my place as a pastor

to get in the middle of that,

but I always remind them that the knowledge

that elders and deacons receive

over their three year terms can be a burden,

and it's something they need to be careful

of burdening their wife, their spouse,

with the information.

From very early on, my wife has always said,

do not share anything with me that would make it weird

for me to be in worship with somebody else.

And that is, I think that's a good way

to kind of classify the understanding

that words mean something.

And in 2024, not only the words we say,

but the words we type means something

because they are forever, even if you delete the post.

That the weight of words,

there's a reason why there's a weight to them.

Because you could probably, as we're gonna see in James,

not probably, we will, in a lot of ways,

we can praise our heavenly father,

and we can murder our neighbor when it comes to our words.

And James is gonna speak very, very specifically about that.

And here's the crux of the matter,

is that the church should be speaking life

and not death into people.

The church should be speaking blessing

and not curses when it comes to people.

And that is not something all the churches,

even Munster Church gets right all the time.

That there are times the church, i.e. you guys,

because the building can't speak,

but you guys speaking for the church,

you guys speaking for Christ,

I want you to think about the last week of your life.

Was that a groan?

Well, that makes sense.

The last week of your life, how did you use your words?

How did you use your words with your spouse,

significant other?

How did you use your words with your kids?

Kids, if you're here, how did you use your words

with your brothers or your sisters,

or to your mom and dad?

How did you use your words to your employer

or to your employees?

How did you use your words to your elders or your deacons,

deacons, elders to your pastor, and vice versa?

We use words all the time.

We use language, we use speech in its many forms every day.

And to be a good steward of words

is to understand that words carry weight.

Now, this could be a whole sermon series in of itself,

chapter three, we could do this for eight weeks,

because there's so much there.

Well, what I want all of us to understand early on

in this sermon is that there are weights to words.

He delivers in this profound message

the significance of speech, and he starts

to those who aspire to be teachers

within the Christian community.

So first and foremost, I'm talking to any and all teachers,

myself included, so I'm talking to Lisa,

all her lighthouse kids, to Kathy and all the gems,

to Colin and all the cadets, to Daniel

and all the junior high and senior high,

to the Dans and to Amy and to Tony,

and all of the catechism, all of those that teach,

to the ladies in coffee break, to the leaders of BSF,

the men's Bible study, which is done for the season.

On Monday nights, we will be promoting that more

in the fall, that teachers, their words

will be weighed more than others.

This goes back, half brother of Jesus,

to half brother James, to Jesus,

when Jesus says, it is better to tie a millstone

around your neck than to mess with the faith of a child,

or I will expand that to a person.

And one of the ways that you can mess

with the faith of a child or a person

is in what is taught.

Because if you're in a place of authority, right,

however didactic, and didactic meaning up here, down here,

right, we don't like to be super high and talk this way,

but understand that when you teach,

you will be judged by our heavenly Father,

harder, stricter, with more weight,

because you are representing God's word.

And our interpretation of God's word,

our kind of the application of God's word,

our exhorting of God's word,

better be in line with what God's word says.

Understand the weight of God's word,

the weight of our word.

The Westminster Confession of Faith,

which is something our Presbyterian brothers and sisters

tend to use, emphasize the importance of those

who are called to teach,

recognizing their influential position

in shaping the beliefs and actions of others.

As we aspire to grow in our faith,

we must recognize the weight of our words,

understanding that they have power

either to build up or tear down,

to impart wisdom or to spread error.

And if you know those Presbyterians,

they love their teaching.

And understand that teaching and the weight,

and I'm going to step right in this first and foremost,

because I have a date to do this almost every Sunday with you,

and that is heavy.

So I have eight to 10 overseers as elders

that oversee the words that come out of my mouth.

And believe me, ask an elder, it's a full-time job.

But understand that our words,

whether you're on the stage,

whether you're downstairs in Lighthouse,

you're in the CLC with Pastor Jameel on a Wednesday

doing the life skills, whatever it is,

the weight of words is something that Jesus talks about,

it's something that the Bible references

over three dozen times.

And it focuses a lot on the error of words.

So go back to this past week.

Where did you error in your words?

And what I mean by error is where did you hurt with your words?

Where did you mislead with your words?

Where did you defend for no reason your words?

Where did you offend with your words?

Now some of you are like, man, it's Mother's Day,

we just had a great children's program, baptisms,

like this is a big Debbie Downer.

I didn't write it, nor am I going to skip over it.

Because our words, as we're about to read, build up.

Oh man, especially for those that may have the love languages

of just encouragement.

That is one of my love languages, my wife knows that,

and she is very filtered and steward of how she uses those.

But when my wife says something about maybe a sermon,

or something about me as a dad or a husband,

her words, not to sound corny or hallmarky,

they make me sore.

Not sore as an ache, sore as a bird.

Sometimes her words make it sore and ache.

It does, right?

I'm still safe, you're fine.

But understand that for me that's huge.

How many of you would say that a love language of yours

is words of affirmation?

Yeah, I don't buy that at all.

There's like seven of you that rose your hands, right?

I guarantee you, now I won't say half,

statistically it would be about 30%,

that the words mean something to you.

But what I will say as I move on to my next point,

the weight of words scare you.

Because just as I have the words of affirmation be one of my

love languages, the fear of rejection is right there with it.

That understanding of words of rejection

knocked me down completely.

Now, some of those over the 17 years of being a pastor

have had to be filtered, right?

Because yeah, there are times a sermon's not going to hit with

somebody and that's fine.

Early on if someone said I hated that sermon, or you know what,

I don't know if you should preach anymore,

early on I wouldn't sleep for three weeks.

Would that be accurate?

Maybe not three weeks, but I also use words to exaggerate,

so you know that.

But I wouldn't sleep, thanks for calling me out on stage, babe.

Happy Mother's Day.

But it would tear me up inside.

17 years in, right, if someone sends that anonymous email

that talks about wanting to just tear down the sermon,

guess where it goes?

It goes right to the trash.

Especially if you're not going to put your name on it.

But understand that opinions of people,

if I am doing my job, if you're going to do your job,

if I'm going to live my life and you're going to live your life

on the opinions of people, how often are you going to die?

You're going to die many deaths when it comes to the words of people.

Because that's not what's most important.

It's living consistently with the Word of God

and living out your faith.

But as we dive in, we have to understand the weight of words.

Because I know many of you, and you can say a tremendous different

combinations of words, but certain words completely deflate you.

I remember I was doing pre-marital with a couple years ago,

not from this church, so I don't want to make it weird.

It was from a different church.

And they were talking, and we were talking about conflict,

because that's something that pretty much we talk about day one

when it comes to marriage, is conflict and how we resolve conflict,

and how words and communication is one of the three largest

or most present conflicts that come in marriage.

We won't get to the other two, but communication.

And what the couple was understanding, and they were rather young,

was that the individual, the groom, had a bride

and the words of affirmation was her highest gifting, or her highest love language.

And he could say, you know what, you don't look that nice today,

or that meal wasn't very good, or I'm disappointed in you,

and that third one wrecked her.

Now, it's not because she knew she was good looking

or that she knew she cooked fine or anything like that,

but it was that understanding of the weight of words.

She can get past the other two, even though I told him,

probably never say the first one ever in your marriage.

Second one, only if you want to sleep on the couch.

And the third one, you know, but for her, that one cut right deep.

So I want you to take the next ten seconds and think about

what is one thing someone could say to you

that could bypass all of your discernment,

that could bypass all of the ego that we all carry,

whether outward or inward, the one thing that people could say

that would bypass all things and wreck your heart.

And I don't want you to say it out loud, but I want you to think about that.

There's a reason why something comes to mind,

because the weight of that word, of that sentence, of that thought,

for some reason, bypasses all of it

to the point where it even bypasses your Jesus

and maybe even the strength you have of your faith.

That couples that have been married long enough

know exactly how to wreck one another with maybe one phrase.

The covenant of marriage is the everyday coming back to the understanding

that I will never do that.

That's what marriage really is in a lot of ways, and so much more.

But how do we do this?

James talks about taming the tongue, and so we're going to start,

and we're going to read a big chunk of this section,

because there's really no good place to stop.

I'm just going to start reading, starting with verse one.

Not many of you should become teachers.

There it is.

My brothers, for you know that we who teach

will be judged with greater strictness,

or we all stumble in many ways.

And if anyone does not stumble in what he says,

he's a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body.

If we put bits in the mouth of horses so that they obey us,

we guide their whole bodies as well.

Look at the ships also, though they are so large

and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder,

whatever the will of the pilot directs.

So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire,

and the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness.

The tongue is set among our members, sustaining, not sustaining,

staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life,

and set on fire by hell, for every kind of beast and bird

of reptile and sea creature can be tamed,

and has been tamed by mankind.

But no human being can tame the tongue.

It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

With it we bless our Lord and Father,

and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.

From the same mouth come blessing and cursing.

My brothers, these things ought not to be so.

Does a spring pour forth from the same opening, both fresh and salt water?

Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs?

Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.

So there is a lot there.

James uses vivid descriptions for what I'm going to call the paradox of the tongue.

That in the same moment a husband could say to his wife,

I love you and I hate you, and not miss a beat.

Think about that.

That the tongue does not have a pretty good reputation when it comes to James.

And I don't know, maybe as I read that, that it is a restless evil,

full of deadly poison, you thought about somebody.

Or maybe you thought about yourself.

Because maybe, just maybe, you've not learned the taming of the tongue.

You could put the second, the taming of the tongue up there.

Because I want us to see that word.

This understanding of taming the tongue, every beast of the air.

I'm going to say Jurassic Park shows us that maybe dinosaurs cannot be tamed,

but that's another sermon that I'll never preach.

But understand that everything he's saying can be tamed, except the tongue.

He is putting so much weight on this as we're learning about growing, testing our faith,

that our tongue is a test of faith every single day.

It's part of our body.

Now, he doesn't say this about our hands, he doesn't say this about our feet.

Paul would say that about probably our swimsuit areas, about different things.

But understand that the tongue is getting a spotlight because of the damage it can do.

There is literally one sentence in those 12 verses that talk about the positives.

And that is that we can bless the Lord.

We start every Sunday with that. We sing.

In a couple weeks we're going to do a prayer service.

We're going to pray to God.

We're going to send corporately and individually our prayers to God.

And our tongues can be used for all kinds of eloquent things about God.

We can read scripture. We can sing praises.

We can speak so eloquently about our faith, so lovingly about our church.

Yet in these four tables, after service, all of it can go to Gehenna.

Which is an understanding of hell.

All of it can be completely thrown out because of maybe some of the conversations going on there.

Now, I'm not calling out all of those.

I'm not thinking that this is gossip hour after we do coffee.

But it's just the visualization that we could all be in here and we can praise.

But downstairs with the deacons, over here with the coffee,

catechism, pastor Jameel, it could be completely the opposite.

And what good is the praise then?

What good is the praise if we're going to do that with one side of our mouth

and then with the other side curse and bring death?

I think that's the importance of the tongue.

That is the understanding of being a good steward of your words.

And as I say that, I know, I feel my whole body gets hot when I say that.

Because I understand as a preacher I use many, many, many words.

And I know that for some of you, you wish I would use less.

I'll work on it.

But understand that we have the opportunity to share Christ with our words.

We have the opportunity to bring people into a loving relationship with Jesus.

And we have the power to have people completely reject the church,

completely reject Christ, completely reject anything that the church stands for

all because of our words.

And maybe you're here this morning and you've been burned by that.

Maybe you've been burned by the words the church has spoken over you

or a believer representing a church has spoken over you

or a believer that representing Christ has spoke into you or at you or over you.

And as much as I can, I want to say I'm sorry.

But if I'm going to apologize for every dumb thing said by a believer to a non-believer,

I would be apologizing always because it's a plague in the church.

And we haven't even gotten to the understanding of false teaching, of heresy and all of that.

These are just words that tear down people.

He uses the bit of a horse.

Now horses freak me out.

They're just big and majestic and in one kick they can end you.

But understand these massive horses, how many people grew up with horses?

Okay, so Marshall, right?

I mean, you and I, we're of Zekia stature.

And understanding that, I mean, horses are big and powerful, right?

Like no messing.

Yet you put how big is a bridle?

Roughly how big is it?

Come on, you're a deacon, dude.

You have numbers.

Five, six inches, right?

So five, six inches, you know what five or six inches is.

That's fine.

Like understand, like maybe five to six inches, sure.

In a horse's mouth, it could do whatever you want.

Like that's unbelievable to me.

When I was in my pastor's retreat, one of the pastors and I did a tour of one of the boats.

The Star of India.

It's this big ship.

And then one of the other ones was used in one of the pirates movies.

And this giant ship with these giant sails, majestic, awesome.

And then you see the rudder.

And the rudder is, I don't know, not that big.

And that has the power to turn a giant ship wherever the captain wants to take it.

So it is with our words.

And we're going to continue on this for next week because it's a theme that he's going to take with.

But the one place that I want us to get to today is how do we ask for wisdom to weight our words differently?

What does it mean to seek wisdom with how we talk?

Well, James is going to tell us.

He's going to tell us in verse 13, who is wise and understanding among you?

By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom.

But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not boast and be false to the truth.

This is not the wisdom that comes from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, and demonic.

For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder in every vile practice.

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits.

Impartial and sincere.

And a harvest of righteousness is shown in peace by those who make peace.

He ends that chapter with the word peace.

So the challenge for us in understanding the fruit of faith, which is seen in that end, is wisdom.

That if we have wisdom, we can get to these places.

So what does that mean for the tongue?

What does it mean to be wise?

Obviously watch what you say. Sure, absolutely.

But for some of us it's like, well then I'm just not going to say anything.

Well that's really sad.

That means you have no confidence in yourself to grow in your faith to have discernment and wisdom about what you say.

Because we are called to speak.

We are called to go.

We are called to make disciples.

We are called to teach.

We are called to bring about the fruit of the Spirit.

We are called to bring about all of these things.

And how do we do that?

By being someone who speaks peace into the world.

Blessed are the peacemakers.

How do we make peace?

It's not fleeing and not doing anything.

It's by speaking peace into situations.

It's not making matters worse.

And some of us we have degrees in that.

That we have zero discernment.

We just want our voice heard and we make things so much worse.

So three things that I want us to kind of think about as I close.

Do you have someone in life that can check your words?

Praise God I married mine.

And she has every right to call me out on every single word that comes from my mouth.

So let's make those words good.

Because then those conversations are happy conversations.

But do you have someone that, it might not be a spouse, hopefully it is.

But do you have someone that if you're wondering how this is going to come across.

Do you have someone you can speak this to?

To have them help you discern?

Can we slow down?

Or can we slow down with our words?

Or do we always have to be the one to say it?

Do we always have to have the story?

Got to be the one to share it.

Because guess what you are.

Gossiper, storyteller, exaggerator.

Or do we pause and say God you're giving me something that I want to speak about.

Or I want to speak into.

Do I discern?

God be with my speech.

Give me the words.

If it's biblical, Jesus even tells his disciples, ask it will be given to you.

So do you have someone to check you on it?

Are you going to slow down with the words you speak?

And when we do speak are we taking kind of an audit of is this helpful?

Is this biblical?

And does this make peace?

Now that does not mean that we all have to follow this hippie dippy understanding of Jesus.

That sometimes our words are there to correct and admonish.

But you can admonish someone in a healthy way and you can admonish someone in a pharisee kind of way.

Because the pharisee does not look at themselves first.

They just judge.

They just throw the stones.

They just turn the ship or turn the horse to kick or run over the other person.

Are we speaking words over people that will bring life?

Or are we just a bunch of murderers that bring death?

And here's the thing.

You can do that without ever touching anybody else.

It can be solely with our words.

And it can also be with what we type.

That's a thing now.

So as we go forth today and as we dive into chapter four and five in the coming weeks,

which is going to be pretty abrupt.

Because I know thus far it's been pretty easy, right?

He's building on chapter three now for chapter four.

Because chapter four is okay, we've got faith, we've got works, we've got hardship, we've got trials.

Now we have our words.

And how are we going to enter incarnationally to a world that if we're being honest hates us?

Hates believers.

Wants to see the light of Christ snuffed out.

How are we going to speak into that?

How are we going to trial and trial well in that?

How are we going to endure in that?

Because it's not all going to be easy.

Because James knows what Jesus, his half brother said.

In this world you will have trouble.

But on this Mother's Day let us remember Jesus also says,

Take heart, bribe over...