Love for Real

If you want to learn how to do something right. If you're me,

you want to learn how to make a killer lasagna. If you're my wife,

you want to learn how to repair a lawnmower. I don't know why

the traditional gender roles are reversed in our family regarding lawn care and what goes

down in the kitchen. They just are. But you you want to learn

to do something, where do we go? YouTube? We're going to YouTube.

We want to see it laid out for us. We want to maybe

even watch it in slow motion. We want to see the elements of the

action all broken down for us so that we can replicate it. We want

to be practitioners. We want to learn this skill and we want to put

it into action. We want to see it on display, aspect by aspect.

And that's something like what we're given in Romans chapter twelve versus nine through

the end of the chapter. We're just taking part of it this morning.

This is a part one the Romans twelve nine through the end of the chapter

is like a YouTube tutorial on how to really love God and others. How

to love God and others for real genuine love. And I'll just ask,

is there anyone in this room who doesn't need to learn how to love better?

I do? You do? We all really need to learn how to

genuinely love God and genuinely love others so much better than we do. It

really should be, in many ways, the obsessive study of our lives.

Let me read the passage for us, Romans twelve nine through thirteen. Let

love be genuine. That's actually the only imperative in this whole passage. It's

let love be genuine. And then everything following is participles, just elements of

the action. Aboor what is evil, hold fast to what is good.

Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor.

Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord,

rejoice in hope, be patient and affliction or tribulation, Be constant in

prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints, and seek to show hospitality.

It's my aim this morning, what I'm looking to accomplish for us is

that we would have a clearer picture than ever of what it looks like to

genuinely love God and genuinely love others. And in so having that clear picture,

we would make big strides right away and putting in into action right This

isn't an academic observation. This is a preparation for action. So the road

map for my message is very it's like dead simple. It's an eight point

list. Yeah, let's go eight point sermon, but I'll move fast.

And then after eight point says we just walked through the eight or so aspects

of real love that Paul has for us in these verses. At the end,

I will bring us back to the overall message of Romans that we would

see clearly the most vivid picture of real love. There is the mercy of

God towards us through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, the Gospel on

display, and how that empowers us to love for real. So let's jump

into it. Aspect number one, repulsed by evil attached to good. Repulsed

by evil attached to good. Verse nine puts it this way, abhor what

is evil, hold fast to what is good. Detest hate. There are

things we should hate. It reminds me of Moses as he saw the Israelites

worshiping a golden calf, and he took it and he ground it into dust.

Passionately hating what was evil reminds me of Jesus applauding the church at Ephesus

in the Book of Revelation, saying, here's what you've got going for you.

You hate the practice of the Nicolathans, which I also hate practice of

the Nickelathents. Was likely there were a group of people who were professing Christ

but also applauding sexual immorality at the same time, and Jesus says, I

hate that, and good on you for hating it too. You know,

we often think of godlyiness it's just sort of dispassionate, unflappable, stoic.

But if you love someone, you hate what dishonors, insults, or harms

them. That scripture teaches us not to be hot heads. But if you

dishonor or insult or harm my wife, my response to you will not be

dispassionate. And that's not because she can't take care of herself. I mean,

if you don't think she can stand up for herself, you have not

even gone a single round with an Italian woman. It has nothing to do

with her abilities. It has everything to do with the fact that if you

love someone, you hate what dishonors, insults or harms them. Evil is

that which dishonors or insults God, or dishonors or harms people who are made

in His image. And it is right not to just disprove of evil,

disapprove, but to hate it and to be attached to, to cling to

what is good, to be utterly attached to those things which actually honor God

and actually cause people to flourish for real because real love is passionate about good

and evil, because real love is passionate about the honor and the benefit of

those they love. Here's another aspect of real love. Affectionate like family,

affectionate like family, or like family should be. I know that there are

families that aren't always very affectionate, but Verse ten puts it this way,

love one another with brotherly affection, be devoted, show affection. Personally,

I have a background and experience that I think in some ways and a disposition

that causes me to associate affection like exuberant affection with phoniness. I'm sorry,

it's wrong. Shouldn't be like that. I'm working it out, okay,

Because the opposite of phony affection isn't no affection, it's real affection. And

we are instructed in scripture to be exuberant with our affection to one another,

to be affectionate like family. I mean, we see elsewhere in the New

Testament greet one another with a holy kiss. We'll contextualize that, but still

you see all the all the exuberant greetings throughout the Oldest, all throughout the

New Testament. And it's not just greetings, it's it's being devoted to one

another in consistent affection, a posture of consistent being for one another. I

mean, it's pretty amazing to be a part of a community of four hundred

and five hundred adults who consistently are devoted to showing affection towards you, to

say I am for you. I want to exuberantly express to you how I

am for you. It's real love, so or working towards it's the skill

we're looking to develop. What else does it look like racing to honor one

another? Racing to honor one another. Our translation puts it this way in

verse ten. Outdo one another in showing honor, give preference, take the

lead in honoring above yourself. And in many ways it's the opposite is the

opposite of the worldly way of thinking about honor and respect. Instead of jockeying

to be shown honor, we're taught to jockey to show honor. Maybe you

know of the the stand up comedian bit by Brian Reagan. It's a great

bit. He does it better than I do. But it seems like there

are people who are just who are just waiting in conversation to insert how their

story is more interesting than yours, how how their their idea is better than

yours, And there's it's like it's like they're just in an athletic stance to

say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah you me, you, me,

And what scripture teaches us is our approach back to the athletic stance is me

you. I'm want to race to out I'm gonna race to show you honor.

I want to outdo you in showing honor. There's some ways to do

this. Here are a couple. One that I'll just call showing others off

instead of showing off, showing others off, instead of looking for an opportunity

to inject how interesting or insightful you are, how educated you look for an

opportunity to inject how interesting insightful, Well qualified, educated to somebody else's show

them off. It's worldly and fallen to show yourself off the race. What

you're competing in is to show others off. Here's another one I'll just call

good mouthing. It's not bad mouthing, it's good mouthing. Right. Instead

of spreading comments about other people's faults, which are always easy to see and

even easier to talk about, you spread comments about other people's strengths. You

you said them. You said these comments free, like little homing pigeons,

right, because comments about other people always seem to make their way home to

that person. Wouldn't you so much prefer if you were good mouthing them as

that bird travels throughout the congregation or your community, or your office, or

your family or extended family, and makes its way home to them, as

you were racing to honor others. What else does real love look like?

Bubbling with zeal to serve God. Verse eleven puts it like this in our

translation, do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve

the Lord. Again, this is very much a contrast with our worldly,

our natural, fallen way of thinking and feeling about service, which is generally

slothful, but instead we're instructed. Here's what real love for God and people

looks like is to serve with zeal. Such a great word, zeal eeh

doesn't get enough airtime. Zeal. Here's my definition. Zeal is heart felt,

eager pursuit. Heartfelt eager pursuit, and so in this case, heart

felt eager pursuit of service. So it's the opposite of grumbling and dragging in

serving. It's natural to grumble and drag in service because it's natural for us

to love ourselves instead of loving God and his people. Right, serving gets

in the way of loving ourselves, and serving is the way of loving God

and his people. And so we're instructed here. If you want to learn

how to genuinely love God and genuinely love others, then be zealous as you

serve him. Seize the opportunities, not dragging and grumbling, but with zeal.

I'm gonna pause the video because if you're like me, about halfway through,

as I'm watching a video to put into action what they're teaching me,

as I'm trying to learn how to make fried rice, about midway through,

I shift from preparing for action to just simply being interested in what I'm looking

at, and that's what I want to just catch for us right now.

This is not a matter of observing for interest. This is a matter of

observing for action. We are preparing for action. We are looking to learn

to love for real, so much better than we did up until this point.

So we can restart the video with this number five, Happy in your

hope. Here's another aspect of what it looks like to really love God is

to be happy. In our hope verse, twelve foot sit like this,

Rejoice in hope, be joyful in hope. My definition of hope for us

this morning. Hope is a present frame of mind that's connected to a certain

future. Hope is a present state of mind connected to a certain future.

So, if you're a Christian, if you are trusting in the person and

work of Jesus Christ and you have placed your life in his hands, here's

your certain future eternity with him and your present frame of mind. Your present

frame of mind when it is connected to that future. When you recall that

future should be one of joy because there is real love there. It's like

if we're taking the long trip to visit my parents as a family, and

my youngest gets a little weary from the travel. The hours get hard,

and I can remind him, hey, you know where we're headed, right,

you are about to see Ome and Oprah and there's real love there.

And so his present frame of mind connected to that certain future changes. He's

reminded of where this is going, and there's joy. And the same thing

happens to us. We get weary along the way, the hours get hard,

but when we remember our hope. Man, you know where we're headed.

You're just about to see Jesus, and there's real love there. And

now our present frame of mind it's not Pollyanna, but it's joyful. Here's

another aspect of real love persevering through troubles. Verse twelve says, be patient

in tribulation, be patient, endure with patients, take and stride the troubles.

I think the best picture I can think of patient endurance is being a

good parent of young kids. I mean, it's every day. There are

only four objectives. Keep them alive, get them fed, teach them something,

put them to bed. And there are a thousand obstacles and messes that

marshal themselves from all over the universe to get in between you and those things.

I don't know where they come from. Why it has to be it

is hard when it should be this easy, but it just is. But

as parents, we take the trouble in stride. We know there's gonna be

trouble, we know there's gonna be tribulation. We know this spaghetti sauce is

gonna end up on the ceiling. I don't know how, and we take

it in stride. We keep showing up for them. And you're called to

keep showing up. And as you keep showing up for unbelievers, as you

keep showing up in this world, you're gonna you're gonna get troubles of a

certain sort. And as you keep showing up for Christians, as you keep

showing up for the church, you're gonna get troubles. Let me just tell

you. You minister in a mess, and it is not getting any less

messy, I'll just tell you. And yet real love keeps showing up,

persevering through the troubles, ministering through the muck. There is no ministry without

muck. And that's okay, because it's real love. Okay, what else,

Remember we're preparing for action. What's another aspect of real love persisting in

prayer. Persisting in prayer again verse twelve, be constant in prayer, devoted

to faithful in As a pastor here for about ten years, I can tell

you that some prayers God has answered instantaneously, I mean literally before I say

amen, I've got a text in my phone. And other prayers He's taken

the whole ten years to answer. And I don't know the reasons. How

could I know God's reasons? But I know this. There is a love

for God, and there is a trust in God's goodness and wisdom and power

that is only shown through persistent prayer. And there is a love for people

that is only shown through persistently going to God on their behalf in real love.

Truly, one of the most overlooked aspects of real love is persistent prayer.

Here's number eight, opening your house and holdings. I know the alliteration

is a stretch, but it comes from verse thirteen. Contribute to the needs

of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Contribute, share help, and

practice hospitality. Practice hospitality. Honestly, I think one of the biggest steps

that many of us could take to practicing generosity and practicing hospitality is to take

it out of the realm of the unusual and the abnormal way of things and

bring it into the usual every day. This is just what we do.

Generosity just isn't weird. It's a part of the budget. It's just what

we do. We practice generosity, but just contribute to the needs of the

saints. We share, we help. It's just normal and hospitality. It's

not unusual. We're just opening up our homes. We're making room around our

table to share with you the life we already have. It's not entertaining guests.

That's the distinction I make. Entertainment is when you clean the house from

top to bottom, and you cook a special meal and you tell the kids

you better be different today. Hospitality you just make room around your table and

you share with them the life. If you already have the dinner, you

already have, the family, you already have. Because the love that is

there is sufficient, warts and all. It's just a part of real love.

It's just a part of real love. Now, let's consider how we

got here. How did we get to this place where Paul is putting on

display these elements of real love. We got here this way Paul is saying,

learn to love for real, because that's a part of transforming your mind.

Right back at diverse two, Right, the renewal of your mind.

Learning to love for real is part of renewing your mind, and a part

of renewing your mind is a part of giving your whole life to God.

Right, presenting yourself as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God,

and doing that is just your reasonable act of worship based on the mercies of

God. Right, I appeal to you, based on the mercies of God,

based on the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, based on the fact

that you have been included into the people of God through no meritiv your own.

You were rescued from judgment, and you were given the family of God.

And based on that, give yourself entirely to Him. In other words,

loving for real is a response to the work of Jesus Christ. Think

of all the overlap. He loved you for real. He clung to what

was good, even when it meant the cross for him. His affection for

you. He made you family. He made you brothers and sisters. He

is committed and devoted to brotherly affection for you. He set aside his honor.

He set aside his majesty so that you would be lifted from disgrace and

be given the honor of children of God. Is his character not one of

heartfelt eager pursuit, even when we consider something as earthly or mundane as hospitality.

It's Christ who shows us the way, all right. He welcomed you

into the community and fellowship and love of the Trinity, making room for you

at the table. You, who were an enemy, now made a friend.

Not because he needs anything that we have, but because he loves to

share what he has. Here's the thing. Here's the thing about the Bible

teaching us how to really love, is that, on one hand, it

is absolutely about this kind of teaching, this kind of being able to see

element by element, aspect by aspect, this sort of YouTube of a passage

like First Corinthians thirteen and Romans twelve. We need these instructions for love.

But on the other hand, it's even more about knowing the love of Jesus.

It's about knowing the one who loved you enough to die to save you

and rose to bring you to him. We know love because he first loved

us. And my prayer is that we will put his love on display.

That's what we're being called to. That we would see his love clearer and

clearer, and worshiping him in his mercies. We would get better and loving

for real,