Love's Appeal

My name is Pastor Seth for the few of you

who don't know me, and and I've actually been here

for almost nine years now, and yeah, super thankful for that.

And one of the things that God has provided for

for the pastoral team here is for us to take

sabbaticals along the way. And so, by God's grace and

the fellow leadership team's kindness and and really your kindness

by extension is as well, Jen and I and our

family will be taking some time this summer to just

focus on some refreshment and being together there as as

a family. So so again I won't be up on

the platform as much for a few months here, but

that actually doesn't start until about four weeks from now.

But thank you for being a church that cares for

your leaders in such a way. But as we're as

we're getting situated here this morning, let me ask you

a question. Let me ask you, have you ever been

in a conversation with a very trusted but also very

persuasive friend who really left you in a place where

it seemed nearly impossible to say no to his or

her request of you. Have you ever been in that spot,

if you've ever felt that kind of a pressure in

that moment. Maybe it was something fairly normal, like serving

on a team for a church or a work event,

even as maybe it was just a really busy time

for you in life. But you hear that request and

boy they're persuasive, and you just feel like you have

to say yes. You know, perhaps you were simply convinced

to do some dog sitting while your friend was on vacation.

It's possible there are people in this room that we've

done that too as a family before. Now we agree

to these things. We agree to these things because we

love our friends, right, and it could be that it

ends up being more awkward as well to say no

than just to say yes in the moment. We can

be honest about that too. But what if the request

that you received was was something bigger, If it was

something more permanent, an appeal that was made to you

that called for a more lasting kind of sacrifice, a

call to forgive a freshly repentant person who had significantly

wronged you, even legally, maybe to start treating and viewing

that person in a completely new manner. What if that

was the request well, such as the situation that we

read about in this unique little letter in the Scriptures

from the apostle Paul to Philemen, who was a well

known Christian and host of the church family in ancient

Colossie back in February, you might recall, back in February,

we looked at the opening paragraphs of this text, and

we saw Paul's lead in. We saw his lead into

this big request of Philemen that he was going to make.

And this really mostly included a great commendation of his friend,

whose love for the Lord was so evident through the

way that he was a great source of refreshment to

others in the body. You might remember some of that.

So we'll pick things back up in verse eight this morning,

but we'll go ahead and read the whole letter for

context like before, and as we read together, take take note.

Take note of the way in which Paul makes his

strong and loving appeal to his friend Phileman, and try

to put yourself, if you can, try to put yourself

as much as possible, in the shoes of each of

these believers. Of each of these believers, Philemen for one,

and Paul in the other, both the one who's receiving

the letter and the one who's giving the exhortation. So

try to do that if you can situate yourself, put

yourself in both of their their shoes. And so I'm

going to have the one who's most dear to me

in this room right now. Read our text Philemon one

through twenty five, the.

Book of Philemen Paul a prisoner for Christ, Jesus and

Timothy our brother to Philemon, our beloved fellow worker, and

Afia our sister, and Arkipus, our fellow soldier, and the

Church in your house. Grace to you and peace from God,

our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank my

God always when I remember you in my prayers, because

I hear of your love and of the faith that

you have towards the Lord Jesus and for all the saints.

And I pray that the sharing of your faith may

become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing

that is in us for the sake of Christ. For

I have derived much joy and comfort from your love,

my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been

refreshed through you. Accordingly, though I am bold enough in

Christ to command you to do what is required, yet

for love's sake, I prefer to appeal to you, I Paul,

an old man and now a prisoner, also for Christ Jesus.

I appeal to you for my child Onesimus, whose father

I became in my imprisonment. Formerly he was useless to you,

but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.

I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart.

I would have been glad to keep him with me

in order that he might serve me on your behalf

during my imprisonment for the Gospel. But I preferred to

do nothing without your consent, in order that your goodness

might not be by compulsion but of your own accord.

For this perhaps is why he was parted from you

for a while, that you might have him back forever.

No longer is a bond servant, but more than a

bond servant, as a beloved brother, especially to me, but

how much more to you, both in the flesh and

in the Lord. So if you consider me your partner,

receive him as you would receive me. If he has

wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that

to my account. I Paul, write this my own hand.

I will repay it, to say nothing of your owing

me even your own self. Yes, brother, I want some

benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ,

confident of your obedience, ir to you, knowing that you

will do even more than I say. At the same time,

prepare a guest room for me, for I am hoping

that through your prayers I will be graciously given to you. Yepaphrus,

my fellow prisoner in Christ to Jesus, sends greetings to you,

and so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demus and Luke, my fellow workers.

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.

This is the word of the Lord.

Thank you. And then, well, how did it go as

you as you tried to imagine being in Paul's spot

while also thinking about what it would be like to

receive such a letter. Hopefully it doesn't lead to any

kind of split personality crisis or anything for you as

you try to do both of those things. But in

all seriousness, it's a pretty intense request, isn't it that

he puts in? And that makes sense because it was

a way the situation that they had on their hands

and at the outset. Here just just a brief note

on one bit of the letter's content. You know, some

of your copies of God's Word this morning, as you

look down at it, they may call Onesimus a bond servant,

while others you may have in front of you the

word slave being used there. And I don't want us

to get confused over that. Roman law at that time

allowed for various kinds of servitude that could exist while

still affording servant safety at a foundational level and often

even time limits for those who were who were in

this service, unlike much of the barbaric slavery that took

place early on in our own nation. So that's an

important piece of context to think about. Even as even

as all at the same time here we should still

understand Onesimus was in a difficult, a very dicey situation

when this letter was written. Both all those things said,

let's let's take a few moves here to walk through

our text to see what God would have for us,

using that lens that you see on the top of

your bulletin, that lens of the love's appeal language that

I'm grabbing straight from Paul in verse nine where he says,

if you look at your Bibles, where he says that

it was for love's sake, he preferred to appeal to

or to strongly urge Phileman instead of giving him a

downright apostolic command. So we should recognize we're people right

in this room right now. We're people who both have

influence in the lives of others and also want to

respond well to others influence as those who make appeals

to others and also receive them, sometimes in Paul's seat,

sometimes in Philemon's seat. So with all of that in view,

let's let's look together at what God would have for

us in this category of Christian loving appeal from this text.

As we do that, we might note first our opportunity

to let loving appeal aim for ownership. If you're looking

for your first blank, there it is. Let loving appeal

aim for ownership, we might say, And here's here's what

I mean by that. We see in this letter of

great persuasion both an intense kind of pressing in and

a sort of like intentional holding back. It's a real

appeal that's being made. Basically, phi leman Onesimus is a

new man in Jesus, and you've got opportunity to receive

him in a new way. But he's also careful not

to say, Lehman, do this because I say so, even

though Paul's position as an apostle may have actually allowed

for that in a way. See this is important, and

you might recall from part one of this message the

emphasis that Paul wanted not only for by Lehman to

do something, because he wasn't going to ask him to

do something. But it wasn't only for him to do something,

but for something to be done in him at the

same time, a desire for growth in faith and in maturity,

a deeper knowing of all God had for him in Christ,

we read there in verse six. So this theme then

continues for Paul. I believe that it continues as he

makes his request in a more direct way. Now that's

why he says he prefers, for love's sake, to appeal

to him there in verses nine and ten. You see it. Yet,

for love's sake, I prefer to appeal to you, And

then again in verse ten, I appeal to you for

my child Onesimus. And then also that Phileman not act

out of compulsion but of his own accord, picking that

up largely in verse fourteen, look at your bibles for that,

he says, I prefer to do nothing without your consent

in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion

but of your own accord. He says, it was far better.

It was going to be far better that he be

able to obey from personal conviction from the heart, actually

own his personal decision instead of using Paul as a

kind of excuse for why he had to do something

he really would have otherwise just not had to do.

Almost like saying, well, you know how it is when

an apostle just says to you jump, you just say

how high? So what could I do? He couldn't do that?

And the way that Paul was approaching him, putting in

his loving appeal, And we can appreciate this kind of

appeal as a body together, right, I mean, there's occasional

warrant for because I said so, or just trust me

kinds of commands. Maybe there's an emergency situation where urgency

is required, or maybe there's a matter where there's not

liberty to really share sensitive information right there in that moment,

or we even might use language. It's a little bit

more like that when our kids, kids are at their

earliest stages of development, but nobody and we realize this too.

Nobody ultimately builds a good relationship with others or helps

to foster a maturing community when we mainly dictate commands

instead of approaching one another with loving appeals. So Paul

is clearly aimed at Phileman's maturity that will come from willing,

sacrificial follow through. But I tell you what that hardly

means that he lays off the persuasion right now. Granted,

he must have felt like he had a relational capital

to an extent where he wasn't afraid to lay it

on pretty thick with phi Leman, And you caught that right.

He plays a number of cards here along the way

in his letter. He played the I'm an old man card.

You heard that one, right. He played the I'm a

prisoner for Jesus card? What do you do with that?

He played the card Onesimus my very heart? You heard

that from him? He played the I'll pay the bills card,

pretty persuasive. How about the you owe me your life card?

And then of course these there there's this uh I

plan to visit you card, and really a few other

barely more subtle cards that I didn't even mention, as

you really would comb through this, you'd see those two.

But through all that, through all that, he was clear

receiving Onesimus back as a forgiven brother is the right

and faithful thing to do. But but, phileman, you've got

to own that decision. Can you imagine getting this letter?

I mean, as I read through it, I think I

would have. I would have cried uncle by verse ten,

just as he's barely getting into it right. And then hopefully,

hopefully I'd have my heart fully warmed up to the

faithful obedience of gospel restoration by the end, according to

the grace of God that needs to be at work,

just like with anything in our lives. But really, how

about us? How about us this morning? Are are we

aimed at the heart with one another, helping each other

own personal faithful obedience to the Lord as we exhort

and encourage one another? And then also are we are

we eager to receive? Are we eager to receive appeals

that that we might make mature and and and progress

in our in our faith towards the end of growing

in the Lord? Or will we will we be in

a place where we tend to look for, you know,

cop outs that we can use or avoidance in uncomfortable

relationship areas you ever felt that too. I know that's

my temptation. I know I have to watch for that

in my own heart. But I want to say something

to you, Church. I want to say that I am

encouraged by you, and I mean that sincerely. I work

with so many of disciples here, some that are, you know,

in leadership positions, and others living as faithful and influential

and maturing members here in this room even right now,

but all of whom genuinely seem to want to grow

and be stretched through having hard conversations, through sometimes taking

on more responsibility and sacrificing for others. I see so

much of that, and I could jump right back to

verse seven of Paul's words and say with him, I

have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my

brothers and sisters, because the hearts of the Saints have

been refreshed through you. And at the same time, I

know we can all keep growing in these things. We

can keep on growing through the new, challenging opportunities God

purposefully gives to us as we relate to one another

in this body, because they never really stop coming. Right.

The opportunities at hand, and these opportunities really do come

from him. I'm not just saying that for extra good

measure or doctrinal properness. In this moment, it's probably helpful

for us to zoom in on verses fifteen and sixteen

to look at this truth about God's provision of a

growth opportunity, because it very much applies to us also

in our day. And this is going to be your

next point in your notes where we might say, let

loving appeal ponder God's providence. Let loving appeal ponder God's providence.

So Verses fifteen and sixteen. Let your eyes rest on

that bit of the text again, he says, for this

perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while,

that you might have him back forever, no longer as

a bond servant, but more than a bond servant, as

a beloved brother, especially to me, but how much more

to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.

See this is a key part of Paul's appeal that

we don't want to miss this morning. What we have

here is not simply or only a Paul and Phileman

basic exchange about a recently converted and repentant Onesmus it's

more than that, without saying the words, God is sovereignly

orchestrating this. That's really what the apostle, I think, wants

to point to. Here God's hand in all of this.

I Filema needed to remember some things about the God

he worshiped. The Lord is always working his redemptive and

saving plans in his world for the good of his

people and the sake of his glory. He's always doing that.

And as a church, we've already gotten to observe some

of this in our study through Isaiah. I've seen the

providential hand of God, and we'll catch more and more

of that in the days to come through some of

the later chapters. You won't want to miss that. That'll

be exciting. Well, these verses here fit within that same

biblical theme, that same biblical theme. But we all recognize

that this truth, this truth of God's providence, isn't always

easy to get excited about just on the face of it, right,

you know, The situation was phi Lehman had been wronged,

he'd been wronged, he'd been sinned against. And the only

why for all of that that may have come up

at first in his mind was well, yeah, Onesimus, whose

name may mean useful, became useless to me when he

ran off. Maybe that's about all Paul could see, or

all Philemon could see in certain moments there. And to

be sure, there's some truth to that statement. That's what happened,

but it wasn't the deepest truth at hand. He needed

to see more of what God was doing in the situation.

That the bigger and broader and more beautiful reality was

that God brought runaway Onesmus to Paul to hear the gospel,

to respond in faith and be saved, and now to

enter a totally new relationship with Philemen and the church

because of that shared fellowship that they now all had

with God through Jesus Christ. That was the bigger and

deeper reality. Onesmus's sin was not the end of God's story,

not for him, not for Philemen, not for that little

church in Colossie, and even not for us. As we

look at this holy scripture account this morning and evaluate

our own relationships in the providential hand of God and

the way He's situating things for us. So Jesus as

Savior for sinners is gospel truth at the center of

a woven tapestry of God ordained events stretching across time

and locations. I mean, here we are right now, reading

about this ancient little church, having our hearts instructed. That

should all blow our minds and open our eyes to

all that He is doing in any given situation. So

isn't it just glorious and helpful and comforting to consider that,

especially in times of personal trial, or in moments where

loved ones seems so far from the Lord, or a

friend seems to be drifting from the Lord. God isn't done,

He hasn't done with his story, and he isn't wasting anything,

and always has redemptive purposes for his children to discover

along the way. You know, it might be helpful to

live before him in those moments and start asking more

how questions, more than simply why questions. In other words, God,

how are you gonna work? How might you work in

this matter to bring about your good purposes? How are

you going to do that? God? Please help me to

see that. Imagine living with more of that perspective and

any given challenging situation you might be walking through in

life right now now. We might have thought the stakes

were already high when Paul was in a more personal way,

kind of laying it on thick with Phileman, but really

bringing God's providential work into the mix right here in

verses fifteen and sixteen. It certainly elevates matters, doesn't it,

because we see God's hand at work. I think it

was a key moment for Paul to bring in this

emphasis of providence as he spoke most directly to phi

Lemen about the opportunity at hand. He couches it within

that look at God's providential work to move Onesimus's identity

from bond servant to beloved brother, no strings attached. This

is the clear call that he now needed to respond

to as he would think about the hand of God

at work in this difficult, challenging situation. Now, it's not

like Paul pretended to have a specific word from the

Lord on the outcome of everything for Phileman and Anessimus's relationship.

He doesn't word it that way, but he knew the

way of his glorious God in such matters. So he's

essentially inviting phi Leman into that participation to be willing

and cooperative with God's agenda of restoration and reconciliation. In

the body of Christ, essentially saying, brother, on all that

God's doing, here's your part to play right here. How

about you lean into it? How about you lean into

this work of reconciliation God is putting before you. Might

it be helpful for you in this season to put

your eyes on the providential work of God. Maybe you

need to because of pain and suffering that's been plaguing

you for years now, or maybe it's something more freshly

difficult that you've recently walked into. Maybe you've got a

situation with family or a small group member and you

haven't yet really stepped back to evaluate if and how

God might want to use you, to steer that in

a more redemptive direction, even if it means personal sacrifice

of a preference that you have, a certain right that

you feel you ought to have coming to you, or

a comfort that you'd rather keep. Or perhaps you're only hearing.

Maybe you're just hearing about a friend's situation and you

need to bring a loving appeal that includes helping your friend.

You want to help your friend see his or her

situation in a more redemptive light, as you would open

up God's word together. I mean opportunities for us constantly abound,

and we can ask for the Lord's help and courage

to see them and to step forward in them. That's

what he'd have for us. And it really seems more

often than not, doesn't it, that God is inviting us

into such existing opportunities more than waiting on us to

invent those opportunities. To ask him. Let's just ask him

to help us see what's clearly right at hand. Friendships

that might require a certain kind of loving investment that

God is readying you to make, you know, in a

relational investment. It really does seem to be so much

at the heart of this letter of appeal. So we

might say, thirdly and finally that we're meant to let

loving appeal enrich your relationships. Let loving appeal enrich your

relationships is your third line there. So doubtless the central

picture here is that of pi Lehman and Onesmus's profoundly

new connection with one another through Christ. But I love

the way in which Paul speaks so strongly and persuasively

while remaining so eager to draw nearer to his friend.

Here you look at verse seventeen and you can see

how assured he was that if he would step across

the threshold and into Philemon's home right, then he'd receive

a full and warm welcome. He said, receive him as

you would receive me. He says, with the kind of

confidence there, and knowing Philemon's reputation that we noted earlier

and that we looked at last time in the first

parts of the book, the way that he was a

source of refreshment to fellow believers, Paul wanted the benefit

of that same kind of refreshment for himself. As wording

is interesting there. It's almost as if to say, you know,

this isn't some ask and run appeal so that I

can move along to some of my other apostolic duties

that I have. No. I want to dwell on and

rejoice over the way I see God working in you,

my brother, including as you step forward in this so

refresh my heart in Christ through this act of faithfulness brother.

The way he also concludes the letter by by naming

off all the people who were other partners in the

gospel that you see there that list of names, brothers

who likely knew something of this onesmous situation, and all

promoted some sort of a broader church encouragement, right, sort

of we're all in this together and rooting for each other.

Kind of message that Paul wanted to include there. But

he furthermore, and I think this really takes the cake.

He wants a guest room available right that he'd get

to use if God answered phi Lehman's prayers for his

release from prison. Paul really truly, even as he's laying

it on thick there, he wanted increased nearness with this guy.

He was hungry for it because see genuinely loving appeals,

faithful exhortations, those should do so much more to bring

the body together and promote unity than making things uncomfortable

between us, even if a little bit of initial discomfort

sometimes has to happen in a situation. So often I

have to personally inwardly fight forward in this before I

really see it realized. You should know that as one

of your pastors, I sometimes get conversation fatigue. It happens heavier, harder, trickier,

or even just repetitive conversations. I get a kind of

like fatigue from that sometimes, and I hesitate to share

that with you for fear that you'll start avoiding me.

My God, I don't want to fatigue Seth. Please don't

do that. But it's also okay. It's okay for you

to have some sense of the weakness of your shepherds

who also need the strengthening of our Lord. We're all

in the same boat that in this room. And I

voiced all that in part because it gives me the

opportunity to share with you the bigger story of those

wrestling moments I experience. Because anytime that I'm able to

step back and reflect on how much redemption God has

brought in the lives of people that I've shared a

few miles with, my heart tends to grow very warm

towards you, and I appreciate afresh all of those friendships.

Doubtless many of you you can relate to this. Right

you get in those those moments of fatigue, maybe even

just if just in your home, but then you get

to see God at work. Maybe maybe you've gotten to

see this kind of good fruit over a season with

siblings or with your children or with your spouse, relationships

that have been strengthened through the fires of hardship, or

consequential conversations that God matures us through or perhaps you're

still in the middle, still in the middle of something

like that, hoping to see some redemption, maybe even noting

now a part you might play based on our study

here together this morning. Now, God certainly does much of

this work in the family household setting, but the picture

before us this morning points us largely to our spiritual family,

the church. For some that's the tougher sandbox to play

in right with your church family than it is with

your household family. But for others it's reversed. Right, this

is this is the easy ground right here. But regardless,

don't don't avoid one another or content yourself with merely

surface the interactions when there are loving appeals to make

and to receive, moments of life to share, to sort

out and and grow through together toward Christian unity.