Home Fires Burning: Jesus Redefines Family | Playing With Fire | Simon Davis

Hello and welcome to Trinity Sermons here at Trinity Church, Streetsville.

We're a church in Mississauga, Ontario that wants to love Jesus, live like Jesus, and

lead others to Jesus.

Today we have guest preacher with us today, Simon Davis, and he will be continuing our

sermon series called Playing with Fire as he unpacks how Jesus challenged the symbol

of family.

We hope you enjoy the sermon today and God bless.

Good morning.

A reading from the Gospel of Matthew chapter 12 verses 46 to 50.

Matthew 12:46–50

While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside wanting

to speak to him.

Someone told him, your mother and brothers are standing outside wanting to speak to you.

He replied to him, who is my mother and who are my brothers?

Pointing to his disciples, he said, here are my mother and my brothers, for whoever does

the will of my father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.

The word of the Lord.

Well good morning.

It's great to be with you all today.

If we haven't met yet, my name is Simon and I used to work here a very long time ago.

Hello.

And some of you I know and remember from back then and some of you I haven't met yet.

So if I haven't met you, it's going to be an exciting time to meet with you after the

service.

But I have a bit of a disclaimer as we start.

If you ever go and watch a Quentin Tarantino movie, sometimes in the review, it will give

you count of the number of times a certain F word is used in the movie.

And I'm going to use an F word.

It's a different one.

Don't worry.

Quite a lot.

And the word is family.

And as I use this word, I'm pretty sensitive to a reality when you talk about family, you

start thinking about your own family.

And I want us to be challenged today by Jesus' words, but I also want to challenge you to

listen and not get too distracted by thinking about our own family.

And I'm going to have us start in this way.

You know the Cleavers?

We're bombarded by images of families.

And I thought it would be fun to start with this question.

What is the type of family you would most like to be in?

Maybe you like your family's nuclear or suburban or Gujarati or prodigal or animated or moving

on up or Oscar winning or friendly or modern or fresh.

But here's the problem.

Whether or not we are Christians, we are all formed by our families.

We have opinions about what kinds of families are good or bad.

Our families are a powerful force in our lives.

And in one way or another, we are all striving to either recapture or distance ourselves

from those family photo albums that we hold close in our hearts.

But here's the thing.

This sermon is not about the six easy steps to make your family system biblical.

I do think Christians need to think about family systems and get help.

And if you want help on family systems, I happen to know a very beautiful therapist

and I can introduce you to her after the service.

So God's answer to this question, what is family for, is simultaneously more simple,

offers more fulfillment and is more accessible than any good change that you could make in

how you manage your family.

So what is family for?

How do you evaluate whether a family is fulfilling its true function or not?

Every single one of us has an answer to that question.

And I'm here to tell you this morning that our passage should tell us that A, the way

all of us define families is false.

We all have a corrupted view of families, but that God has a family plan.

Jesus knows what a good family truly does and that Jesus points us to a truly fulfilling

family.

No matter how good or bad or wonderful or broken your family is, Jesus has a better

family for you right now.

I did this before and Rob, I kind of complained about it last time in the summer when I came

to preach.

You gave this to a guest preacher, you know.

If I'm faithful in preaching this passage in this series, it's going to confront us

and I have a very high need to have people like me.

So what are you doing?

Are you trying to help me in my journey of confession and sanctification?

Playing with fire indeed.

And that is the series we're in.

But today we're going to hear how we have a corrupted view of families, that Jesus knows

what a good family truly is, and that Jesus has a better family for us today.

Now, I wrote the words of these points carefully in case we missed the impact.

It's an easy thing to say that all of us are in imperfect families.

That might make your mind go to the mess that we're all struggling with.

But stay with me for a second, because I'm not just saying our families are imperfect.

I'm saying that the very ideals we hold up for what would make my imperfect family good,

the very way you define good families, that's what's false.

It's wrong.

And don't worry, you don't have to listen to me here.

Sadly, I know a lot about broken families firsthand.

But we're in this sermon series called Playing with Fire, and we're talking about the way

that Jesus challenged sacred symbols.

And the sacred symbol Jesus is addressing in our passage today is not Pharisees or the

Holy Land, but it is the very concept of family that you and I have in our heart.

I actually love this phrase, sacred symbols, because symbol means to stand for something,

a stand in, a representation.

And sacred means to deem something worthy of religious veneration.

And so the mistake in Jesus' day, and our mistake today if we do not listen to Jesus,

is to confuse symbols for what they're pointing to.

But we need to be careful here, because Jesus is not setting fire to obviously evil things.

The things, actually the good things that Jesus sets his sights on are things that are

not in their right place.

In the first week of the series, it was not that the land was evil, but it was always

God's intention that the land promised to Israel would be a symbol pointing.

The cycle of living in the land and being exiled from the land is a cycle for the children

of Abraham that will ultimately end when God comes to dwell forever with his people.

Jerusalem was supposed to point us to the New Jerusalem.

When Abram was a hopeless wanderer on the earth, God promised him a home, and that land

is a symbol pointing to that deep yearning for a true home, a holy home.

And the fulfillment of that yearning can only be found in and through God.

Last week, Rob spoke about how Jesus directly attacked the Pharisees who were standing in

between the people and God's words.

They were interpreting, but Jesus called them blind guides.

But remember, did Jesus come to say, your religious leaders got their interpretation

right, but I'm going to give you a new word that cancels out the Old Testament?

Is that what he came to say?

No.

Do not think I have come to abolish the law and the prophets.

I have not come to abolish, but to fulfill.

So wait, what is happening?

Jesus is telling off the teachers of the law, but not changing the law.

How does that work?

Well, one of the most beautiful illustrations I've heard of what Jesus is doing is about

a sheep pen.

And I was told it came from Jonathan Edwards, this illustration, but I wasn't actually able

to source it.

So I have no idea where it comes from.

But here's the analogy.

Imagine a sheep pen in the desert.

It's a fence in the sand, but at the very center, there is a spring of water and grass.

So why have the fence?

Well if you're sheep, you're probably not that bright, but you can see and tell a fence

is coming.

And if they see the fence, they can turn around and move back toward the center.

So Jesus will say, you have heard it said, do not commit murder.

And anyone who commits murder is subject to judgment.

That's the fence.

But I tell you, anyone who is angry with his brother is subject to judgment.

Anger in your heart and hatred are gazing out into the desert, not toward the spring.

Jesus says that not only can hating your brother and sister lead to murder, but you're still

ignoring God's purpose and plan.

You're still sinning in a way that Jesus says makes you subject to judgment, even if you

don't hop the fence to commit murder.

See the Pharisees' mistake is that they were obsessed with the fence.

And they were blind to the fact that patting yourself on the back when you have one foot

on the fence but haven't jumped over is foolishness and blindness to the very purpose of the law.

When you hate someone in your heart, don't think you're righteous just because you haven't

murdered them.

God cares about your heart and your actions.

And that's what Jesus is trying to say to the Pharisees and to you and me.

So the fence in this illustration was given to us so that if we even get a glimpse of

it coming, we can turn around, turn back, repent.

You can be staring longingly into the desert even if you don't hop the fence.

And if your love and your attention and your belief about what is good is not oriented

at the center, at the spring and the grass, you will die thirsting for a mirage when the

living water is right behind you.

And as Rob said last week, no person can keep the law when the bar is as high as Jesus sets

it except Jesus.

And as it says in Jeremiah 17, nine, the heart is deceitful above all things.

When we admit we don't measure up, we have a God who loves us and is waiting to change

us, to reorient us, which is why the words of that beautiful hymn read, oh, to grace

how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be.

Let thy goodness like a fetter bind my wandering heart to thee.

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it.

Prone to leave the God I love.

Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it.

Seal it for thy courts above.

Over and over and over again.

When Jesus sets his sights on the sacred symbols of the culture of his time, he is telling

us and his listeners then that we are in danger of missing the point.

And that can have eternal consequences and it fires Jesus up.

You and I have a corrupted view of families.

The land had a purpose to point to something sacred, our need for a true home.

And the people had made it into an idol and Jesus burned it down.

The law of God had a purpose to point us to something sacred.

The law was designed as a fence in the desert to remind us of our need to turn around and

come back to the heart of God where we have everything we need, like a sheep eating grass

beside a well.

But Pharisees had placed themselves in between the Bible and the people had missed the point.

And just like the land and the law, the family has a purpose.

But in so many ways we miss the point and twist it all up.

What is the sacred thing the families are supposed to point us toward?

What is the well and the living water and the grass?

This is John the Baptist.

They're learning about him downstairs.

And he's pointing to Jesus.

So what is the sacred thing families are supposed to point us towards?

Grace.

Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world.

That's what John the Baptist is saying there.

Grace is unmerited favor, a gift you know you did not deserve.

What is that gift?

Eternal life.

Jesus held up the disciples who were listening to him as his true family.

And what was he saying?

He was saying things like this.

The wages of sin is death.

For the gift of God is life everlasting through Jesus.

God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whoever believes in him

would have eternal life.

There is a fulfillment.

It's what our hearts are longing for.

Forever with Jesus.

Glory.

And I'm sorry but it's not passing on good values to the next generation.

It's a good thing but that's not the ultimate thing.

Seeking your family identity in anything but Jesus' kingdom is staring into the desert.

But what God is about is amazing grace.

Where are you going to hear that?

From Jesus obviously.

But actually throughout human history God has given signs and symbols to point us to

his grace and the Bible holds out families as a special means of God's grace.

God's grace coming through families in a special way.

And if you stop to think about those families for a minute, they are not perfect ones.

God works through Abraham's broken family.

God graphs Ruth into Israel's family legacy.

But listen, I hear your objection.

My family is not helping me see Jesus.

And many of us come from families and are in families where there is zero danger that

we will think too highly of them.

Some of us have toxic families and painful families and some of us just came from Christmas

with them and I really need you to stop from doing something.

Don't let the brokenness of our families cause us to miss the point of families in

God's providence.

God designed families to point our hearts towards God's grace.

We have forgotten that.

Think about this for a second.

How many of you are first generation Christians in your family?

I know there will be some of us.

But always God has seemed to use families, even broken families, in a special way.

The story of grace seems to be passed on even in our broken families.

Maybe that's you.

But let's be really honest for a moment.

How many of us even think that our families' primary purpose is to point us toward grace?

Passing on values maybe?

Passing on safety?

Passing on wealth?

What is your family for?

Families today still exist to help people forge their identity.

But so often, even in the church, that is not an identity of growing in grace, of growing

in Christ.

So this morning, listen to Jesus' words because it doesn't have to be that way.

I remember speaking to a man who's really famous for something he did and I asked him

about this legacy of his fame.

You know what he said to me?

He said that the legacy he prays for is not about the thing he did, but he prays for a

legacy of an unbroken line of believers in his family until Christ's return.

I think about that almost every day.

So no matter what type of family you come from, the tendency to let cultural values

be the measuring stick for family success rather than God's grace as our core value.

That reality is all around us, even in the church.

So I have actually no problem asserting that we all have a corrupted view of families that

needs reorientation.

But Jesus doesn't actually give us information in Matthew chapter 12 of what the best family

Matthew 12 · chapter mention

structure is in your biological family.

It doesn't mean we're off the hook for holding up the Bible standards to our families, but

let's look at what Jesus actually does.

Let me reread these four verses and as you listen, consider Mary because it's going to

help us think about the family together.

While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brother stood outside wanting

to speak to him.

Someone told him, your mother and brothers are standing outside wanting to speak to you.

And Jesus replied to him, who is my mother and who are my brothers?

Pointing to his disciples, he said, here are my mother and brothers for whoever does the

will of my father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.

What is Jesus doing here?

All throughout Matthew's gospel up until this point, Jesus has been rebuking the Pharisees

for missing the point.

And suddenly poor Mary and her boys come to Jesus to interrupt his teaching.

And what is Jesus' response?

Who is my mother and who are my brothers?

Doesn't that seem a little disrespectful to you?

But think about this.

In Mark chapter three, we're given a little bit more information about this scene in case

we missed the point.

Then Jesus entered a house and again a crowd gathered so that he and his disciples were

not even able to eat.

And when his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him for they said he

is out of his mind.

They went to take charge of Jesus.

So in that moment, Mary and her sons sided with the Pharisees.

Mary opposed Jesus and Jesus did something that I hope you caught.

Jesus did something countercultural and he challenged the concept of family.

In a traditional culture, maybe in your family that you came from, mom showed up and told

you to come home, you did it right away.

That was Jesus' culture too.

But do you see what Jesus is doing here?

When Jesus' blood family, when his nuclear family opposed discipleship, opposed Jesus

leading others to growing grace, Jesus reminded Mary and he reminds us that our need for a

group of broken people like us to be a true family to us, to push us towards Jesus' teaching,

to push us towards grace, that need can be met in a Christian community of disciples.

Now it's time for a little bit of embarrassment of Simon.

You ready?

Look at that handsome fellow in the middle.

The guy in the Raptors shirt is now the director of special needs at Pioneer Camp and the guy

in the middle is me holding the very small bass.

When I was 16, I was doing the leaders in training program at Ontario Pioneer Camp and

I was real arrogant because I grew up in the church.

My dad's a pastor.

So I knew stuff, you know, like a 16 year old knows stuff.

And I had just finished telling my small group leader about how pitiful it was that all these

other leaders in training needed to have experiences to follow Jesus.

You know, those type of Christians, the experienced ones.

And I was all good because I believed the correct doctrine.

Side note here, I did not believe the correct doctrine at this point.

So immediately after I have this arrogant conversation, I go out and I dislocate my

shoulder.

Now luckily it sort of popped back in, but I was still lying on the grass swearing like

a sailor and one of those leaders pointed out something awkward.

I was still getting trained as a leader, so I was technically a camper.

And campers are only allowed to be transported in vehicles insured by the camp because insurance

and all the vehicles that were insured by the camp had just left to take people to canoe

trips.

And Simon needed to get to the hospital.

So here's what happened.

This couple who didn't know me, but who used to work for camp and had a vehicle insured

by camp got called and they drove all the way into camp.

And they got me and the leader who was accompanying me and they drove us to the hospital.

And as I was sitting in the back seat, still swearing under my breath, they pointed me

toward God's grace in Jesus.

They actually treated me like a perfect family would.

And they even gave me money for dinner and told us to call them when I was done to drive

me back.

And they pointed me toward something I'd never actually experienced growing up in the church.

Strangers who love me like family.

And all we had in common was that we were saying we were trying to be Jesus' disciples.

Yes, they were holding up a good cultural norm of Christian generosity and meeting my

material needs.

But in our conversation, they held up the truth that Rob quoted last week from Tim Keller,

that Jesus lived the life we should have lived and died the death we should have died.

And that's grace.

That's pointing to Jesus' teaching.

If I'm honest with you, when I was 16, I was pretending.

I liked what I got out of Christian culture, but I wasn't really vulnerable.

People didn't know what my heart really was.

They just knew I knew the right answers.

And maybe I wasn't jumping the fence, but I pretended I was in while I was still staring

out at the desert.

But I was actually made vulnerable by my injury and my need for kindness, my insufficiency

was spread out for all to see.

And in my vulnerability, I was loved.

And my heart started to melt toward a God of grace.

And I started to see Him for who He really is.

In an ideal world, your family can do that for you.

Because however good or bad our families are, do you know what families always see?

Our vulnerability.

We can't hide from our family.

And sometimes that's a good thing.

And sometimes that's the most painful thing, isn't it?

I've been so aware and so burdened as I prepared for this sermon that whatever our families

look like on the outside, many of us are carrying scars of ungrace.

And every institution, including family, is broken because they're all made up of broken

people.

But if your family's a mess, listen to Jesus today.

Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.

There is a community whose purpose should be to seek out and hold up and spur each other

on to God's will.

In this moment, in Matthew 12, Jesus is holding up a community of disciples as the family

of grace.

The family that can truly fulfill you is a family where you are being pointed toward

God's grace again and again and again.

We're understanding God's grace.

We're becoming more gracious.

We're holding up Jesus' grace at every opportunity is the norm and it's the ideal that we strive

for.

And that may sound idealized, but it's not.

Jesus knows our families are broken.

And so he sets a table to point us toward the ultimate act of grace, dying on the cross.

Giving up his body and his blood, he says, whenever you eat this bread and drink this

cup, you proclaim the ultimate act of grace.

Jesus, dying the death we should have died, for all have sinned and fallen short of the

glory of God.

What Jesus is doing in Matthew 12 is the same thing he is always doing, correcting a mistake.

Even Jesus' own family did not always point to grace.

But in Jesus' kingdom, there is another family, a church family.

That is the body that is to point us to grace.

Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.

So what is a family for?

What is a church family for?

Pointing us, each of us, to God's grace, listening to the teaching of Jesus, teaching that is

not mitigated or obscured by cultural norms, teaching that gets down deep, not into just

what we project on a Sunday morning, but deep into our hearts.

Jesus' teaching confronts us.

Jesus tells you that in the same moment, you are more sinful than you are willing to admit,

so sinful you deserved the death Jesus died on the cross.

And in that same moment, you are so loved more than you can imagine.

The devastating news that the verdict against you is death happens in the same moment where

the Son of the King stands up to change places with you.

That is the grace that can be held out for us in our families, in our small groups, in

our church family.

It's the message that Jesus wants you to hear over and over and over again until it sinks

into your heart and your soul and your future and becomes the true fulfillment of the deepest

desires in your heart.

So if you're staring out into the desert this morning, you need to turn around.

If you're blocking someone's view of Jesus, or if you're distracting them from looking

to the living water and the grass, you need to get out of their way.

If you need directions to the living water, or even if you need to get back into the sheep

pen, only listening to the voice of Jesus and desiring to do the will of our Father

in heaven can lead you to the true family your heart longs for.

The will of the Father that Jesus was teaching about in Matthew 12 was to save you through

Jesus.

So let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy

set before him, endured the cross, scorning its shame and sat down at the right hand of

the throne of God.

Consider him who endured such hostility from sinners so that you would not grow weary

or lose heart.

Let's pray.

Heavenly Father, in our brokenness, we are so humbled and grateful that you hold up this

promise of a true family.

In our broken lives, would you continually point us to your grace, and would that change

us from the inside out?

Amen.

Thanks so much for joining us today here at Trinity Church, Streetsville.

We hope that you enjoyed the message.

Please make sure to follow us on social media and subscribe to our YouTube channel and like

our podcast.

Today's sermon was taken from the January 21, 2024 service at Trinity Church, Streetsville

in Mississauga, Ontario.