Why Young Adults Leave Church (And What Helps) | Trinity Talks Podcast

Hello and welcome to this week's episode of Trinity

Talks. My name is Kyla and I'm really excited

to be joined by three of the young adults here

at Trinity who also all happen to be... heading

up our young adults ministry here. And we're

going to chat a little bit more about what that

looks like and what it is like to be a young

adult in the church today. So thank you so much

for joining me, folks. Thank you. Thanks for

inviting us. So maybe we'll just start by you

can introduce yourself a little bit, sort of

say your name, whatever you'd like to sort of

say about yourself. And then what sort of really

got you interested in helping to coordinate this

young adults ministry? Maybe we will start right

here. Sure. My name is Zion. And I used to be

the youth leader here. So some of you may know

me. But I recently stepped down from that position

because I just graduated from school. I was looking

for a different job. And so part of what led

me to want to volunteer when Rob asked me was

because I was kind of missing my church involvement.

So being able to step in and fill in. for this

role with the experience that I already had of

you know how to communicate with some of the

people around in the Trinity community and kind

of how that whole process works kind of just

made sense and it's something that I enjoy doing

I love hanging out with the young adults and

in my church community so yeah okay cool thank

you yeah what about for you hey I'm Eileen I

only went to Trinity Probably since summer 2025.

So that's so recent. The reason why I want to

be involved in this ministry is that I just love

organizations and like hanging out with people

my age. And I've always been involved in like

ministry since I was a baby practically back

home too. So I thought it would be cool to like

sort of like find my own place here and like

to know people and get. deeply involved in the

church. So that's why I said yes when Sally and

Rob asked me to coordinate this. And what about

for you? Hi, I'm Chris. I'm actually, I think,

one of the youngest young adults. So coming out

of the high school age and going into the young

adult age and getting into university, I think

it's a big change for all of us. And Sally actually

talked to me about this, and she said this was

one of the main reasons that she asked me to

be a part of leading the young adults ministry,

just because it can be scary going from one group

to a different group. And it's really important

for all of us to have a community, especially

a solid, fixed one where we meet regularly and

we become familiar with each other really well

and comfortable enough to share and talk about.

anything that may be going on in our lives. So

I think that was a big reason. Also, just like

Eileen and Zion, I've been a part of ministries

my whole life. So I think this is a great way

to get into a new one, which will, you know,

bring us all closer together in our age group.

Yeah, no, that's awesome. Yeah, I think it's

neat. Like you all have sort of come to Trinity

like at different times, but you're all coming

like with this wealth of experience and with,

yeah, a desire to just like. Get to know each

other, which I think is awesome. Yeah. So what

does the Young Adults Ministry at Trinity look

like? What are some of the types of things that

you folks do? Yeah. So far we've been doing a

social once a month. Okay. Since I think it was

June. Okay. June or July. It was in the summer.

End of summer. Yeah. Oh. Maybe. Anyways, not

important. We've been doing socials once a month.

We have an Instagram page just for the young

adults where we post polls about different activities

that we could do for that month, and then they

vote on it, and then they also get four to five

dates that they can choose from, and then whatever

works for the most people, we arrange that and

communicate that through our Instagram, and we

have a massive group chat with everyone also.

And then recently we started doing... small group

also which we focus more on like um actual bible

stuff and talking about the sermons whereas these

once a month socials are just just social just

like just find out yeah and get to know everyone

yeah okay cool yeah so what are some of the things

that you folks have done like as part of the

different social events that you're doing it's

like very connected to the season okay like during

the summer we did like a pool party yeah a pool

party and then what else like oh the bonfire

night okay that was fun yeah it's like so random

but i feel like this is the beauty of like being

in a young adults ministry that because we are

just like super busy with our schedules and everyone

goes to different school in different cities

and um it's just the trend changes every season

every year so i think we try to follow with that

like to see like what's fun nowadays and what

the people are doing so we sort of like try to

hear from the people. Again, we have a big group

chat where we sort of ask for people's opinions

on what to do next. So I think that's pretty

cool. That's pretty laid back at the same time.

Cool. Yeah. We also did like pumpkin carving

in October. And gingerbread in December. And

in January, our most recent one, we did a worship

night. Okay. So that was fun too because we were

getting some feedback that yes, the social nights

are great because we all want community and connection.

But we're also kind of maybe missing out a little

bit on like the God aspect and, and that whole

side of things. So that's why we also started

our life group, um, which none of us are technically

like leading, but we, we go to, um, so yeah,

that was nice to incorporate. And our, our next

event, not official. First time. Air riders.

Yeah. We're going to air riders. Oh, fun. Hopefully

that'll be exciting. Nice. So do you have like

a favorite memory or a favorite like event that

you've done so far? Something that like stands

out to you? Sounds like there's been lots of

different things. Yeah. Yeah. Chris? I think

our gingerbread night. Okay. It was really good.

Yeah. And it was like, it was fun because it

was kind of, it was a competition. Okay. So we

had like different groups, but then we also like

got together. Right. And, you know. Mm -hmm.

We just collaborated the entire time. Oh, and

we had a great game night afterwards. So that

was fun. So we all got in a big group afterwards

and just played games, cards, and stuff. Describe

for me the winning gingerbread house. What did

this gingerbread house look like? I think that

was Aileen's, right? That was me. That was me

and Mia and Alex, if I remember correctly. We

finished so quick. I think we finished our gingerbread

house the quickest like we did in 30 minutes.

The best one with the least effort. Right? Yeah.

Sometimes you just don't have to think about

it. Yeah. But I think everyone had lovely gingerbread

houses. I think Crystal did like a very detailed

and like intrinsic. um design okay she was like

super passionate about it with her team too yeah

rylan got into it right yeah maya got into it

and zion on the other hand ours didn't go so

well our icing was like broken like we couldn't

get it out properly but we still got second place

it was totally rigged okay right well you know

it was fun right yeah Cool. Cool. Yeah. What

about for you folks? What are some like favorite

memories or things that you've enjoyed? My favorite

like social gathering was probably the pool party.

Okay. But most recently I've really been enjoying

the life group too, because it's just more consistent

and it's kind of like a mix between getting time

to like review the sermon questions and have

some Bible study time, but still also being silly

and. seeing all my friends and stuff. Sure. Yeah.

Sharing lunch together. Right. Three birds with

one stone. There you go. So food, friends, and

Jesus. Yes. That's all you need. Love that. Okay.

Yeah. What about for you, Eileen? Any favorite

memories? I agree with that. And I actually really

like the new life group because I think with

the life group, we have the chance to talk. with

each other like every single person we get to

know each person more deeply than just like having

a big social night so i really like that for

us and we also get to know like each other's

personality because we go in circles and like

ask questions um also um we get to um talk about

like more casual daily life because we meet every

week so i think that's like a great way to connect

and sort of like build connection a real connection

with everyone and like a more deeper basis sure

yeah yeah oh that's awesome are there things

like from those conversations together like is

there any like learnings or things that have

like really stood out to you or been really impactful

i know you've only been meeting for a few weeks

now right but yeah what's what's that been like

i feel like yes but i forgot what they were Moderately

impactful. Obviously hearing about different

people's perspectives, especially since some

of the people in our group are like international

students. So we get to hear like different perspectives

that I never even thought of because I was born

in Streetsville. Right. I've been here my whole

life. Yeah. So just like hearing like stories

and being able to like, like Eileen said, like

get actually personal with each other. I think

like more than any like specific teachings or

anything. Sure. Like. feeling the actual connection

and like the friendship and like being able to

share with each other and openly like express

our feelings and even if it's good or bad anything

I think that's the most impactful for me at least

because yeah the sense of community is I really

feel it already even though it's been like two

or three weeks yeah yeah no that's awesome like

just yeah that need to like go deeper with each

other and like yeah I get to figure out all of

life and and faith and all the hard things you

just get to like throw it there together definitely

yeah for sure and i think i'd like to sorry i'd

like to add to that from my perspective because

i'm an international student so this is only

my third year in canada so i'm like freshly very

fall be fresh of the boat um so for me for me

this is like my first true real canadian experience

where i am finally really immersed in my society

like my surroundings so i get to know how is

it like living life here and how people that

like grew up here interact with their family

and their friends and how like the education

is in here and how like they perceive their social

community beside them surrounding them so I feel

like that's really cool. Also like to practice

like my, you know, sometimes there are just like

some certain lingo or like some social context,

like communal context that you just don't really

get until you are in full for the people. So

for me, actually, it's like a very big opportunity

for me to practice. I wouldn't say practice,

but like to actually get to know the Canadian

culture. Sure. And how. Yeah, and how people

my age especially live here. So that's been really

interesting. So I literally have friends who

are from here now. Right. So that's pretty new

for me. Because in school, everybody is also

international, so it's very hard to get a good

grasp of what the city is. But I think in the

heart of Streetsville, I finally know how people

live here. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty cool.

It's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. So... um like why do

you think it's important for young adults to

have a space to gather like in a church context

as opposed to you know just like at school or

wherever else in the world like what makes it

special about like being part of this here um

yeah i mean every day there's like awful things

released on the news yeah and it's so depressing

and it's really hard to talk about especially

like just like with your your friends you know

that you have in school everything everyone's

already stressed out from school sure and then

there's just there's lots of there's lots of

negativity right now going around in the world

and so I find that at least for me my friends

like out of church don't really like talking

about that kind of stuff that's happening in

the world, just because they're like, you know

what, we need to just chill out and watch a movie,

a funny movie or something like that. But I think

the community that we have here and the fact

that we're so comfortable with each other in

church and, you know, obviously church is all

about addressing the uncomfortable topics and,

you know, overcoming them with the people around

you and the community around you. I think it's

been a lot easier for us, for me to open up.

to my church friends about that and i think i

think that's why it's so important that we have

this group because otherwise without without

talking to you guys about this who else am i

going to talk to in about and i'm going to get

even more overwhelmed and just build and build

sure it's so nice to be able to share with people

like -minded people here yeah yeah just like

grounded in the same values and yeah yeah just

that willingness to talk about the hard things

definitely yeah for sure yeah and also it gives

me like a reason to go to church because for

me i don't have any family here so if i go to

church it would just like me getting up by myself

and going to church sure so sometimes it could

get a little lonely or like i would say like

quote -unquote like pointless if i just like

go to church and like go home and like know what

right now that we have a community we have a

sense of like um belonging and we have friends

that we actually know and we talk with after

church it gives like a little more um reason

to just like wake up in the morning and go to

church because church isn't just like about the

doctrine or just like um listening to the sermons

and like taking notes but it's more to like how

we apply it to like everyday life and people

so we get to practice the gospel there and yeah

it's always good to have like a sense of belonging

and community and like a place where um especially

nowadays not a lot of young adults are known

for being in church so that's really like tricky

because like not a lot of young adults are in

church unfortunately so i think with having people

my age that i can relate to that so um we can

still talk about the gospel but also at the same

time have the same contextual um contextual feeling

like we have the same humor for example we have

the same conversations that we talk about like

school and work so I feel like those really help

us to stay in church so that's really important

yeah for sure for sure community is yeah it's

just such an important part of like what we do

here and so to be able to like find your people

right is super important and it's nice we started

sitting together in the same room that's so funny

yeah the small group right after the second service,

we're kind of all pushed to come to the same

service at the same time. We end up sitting together

and just going down together. So that's been

nice. Yeah, our own row in the back. Especially

because young adults are always late and we're

slowly coming in. Yeah, we're just right in the

back. So the back row is pretty much the key

for that. But back to your original question,

I also like the fact that we meet. at the church

and know that we have this like safe space that

we can come to. And like some of you said already,

like we, and Kyla mentioned, we have like the

same values and we're able to be supported by

people who have a faith background, which I think

is really important because you don't always

get that with some of your other friends and

you can have different types of conversations

and support and grow in that part of your life

as well. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So when you think

about like, you know, Being a young adult trying

to follow Jesus today, what are some of the challenging

parts of that? What are some of the things that

make that frustrating or hard at different points?

Oh, I think it's like very undeniable that Christianity

has unfortunately been used to justify a lot

of bad things in the past. Sure. So I think that's

sort of why like the younger generation, we sort

of think like, oh, you know, Christianity is

evil. And so it's like really uncool that you're

super traditional, the quote unquote, and like

you are still like abiding to the thing that

people used to like hurt others. So that could

be a little bit tricky because. it could get

complicated. Like we can just like sit down,

sit someone down and say like, look, Christianity

isn't always bad. So it's like always very like

tricky for us. So a lot of young adults nowadays,

they just like shove it down and like, oh, like

I'm a Christian, but like, yeah, let's not talk

about it. So it could be deemed as like uncool

if you're still like. practicing christian nowadays

so those are definitely very challenging so we

tend to like hide our identity as a christian

but i totally get it like i'm not saying like

christianity is like a hundred percent like pure

and like like like we're always like up to something

good but like unfortunately some people are um

people are people and people and people so um

yeah um yeah like I totally get it, like, both

sides of this coin. But, so that's the tricky

part, I think. Yeah, for sure. What do you guys

think? Yeah. I think it's hard sometimes, just

to be honest, to, like, make it to all the events.

Sure, that too. Because we have young adults,

our social is usually on, like, a weekend. Yeah.

And then we have... School. School and work.

And then we have our, like, pretty much Sunday

is, like, until Sunday, like... The better part

of Sunday is also taken out because now we have

our young adults group, which is, it's fine.

These are all great things. We all like coming

out. It's just that it's like. It's just like

another thing. Sometimes it's not viable enough.

Especially if you have exams coming up. Yeah.

Stressful. Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure. For sure.

Yeah. There's a lot going on. Definitely. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. Those were kind of the two things

that I was thinking, too. Like, to add to what

Eileen was saying about, like, Christians don't

always have the best rep right now. Yep. Like,

I went to a young adult's conference, like, worship

night or something. This was, like, a year ago

now or something like that. Maybe even two. Like,

it was in March at some point. Okay. So, March.

But, yeah, I was with, like, a group of friends.

One friend was like, oh, I can finally find a

nice Christian man. And I was like, oh, yeah,

that's true. I was like, wait a minute. How are

you going to do that? We're surrounded by Christians,

which is so sad. And it's heartbreaking because,

yeah, you want to find someone who has the same

beliefs and values as you. But there's so many

different types of Christians. And, yeah, they

don't have a good rep. And even it's affecting

me. Even I don't have a good view of Christians

now, too. Right. And I am one, so... No, I feel

that. Conflict of interest. Yes. Yeah, it's unfortunate

that sometimes... the loudest people are like

not the most helpful people like especially in

terms of like a christian reputation sometimes

we're like yeah i'm a christian but like not

that kind of christian right yeah no i'm a good

one i'm a good one but every all christians think

they are the good ones yeah right yeah so yeah

i definitely feel that like trying to like navigate

and figure out like how do i faithfully follow

jesus right in a world where people think that

they know what that means right but they maybe

don't know what it means like to me right but

it's like so complicated at the same time but

and also it's very hard because like we have

a bad rep it's hard to like actually make friends

with people within the christian community sure

because we also i mean i kind of like think that

oh maybe this is like not the good christians

so it can get really tricky especially with the

like conflicting events and like we can't really

get um get together in the church so with that

in mind and also like the bed rep that's why

like young adults don't really like have a big

interest in the gospel anymore sure so that's

really side to hear. Yeah, for sure. I think

our group is great for that because since we,

we can talk about stuff like this openly and

we kind of have been, and I guess it's nice because

we're, it seems like we all have the same idea

of like separating like our faith from like,

like the worldview of like Christianity. And

like, we're not trying to follow like Christianity,

but we're trying to follow Jesus. Right. And

I think that's like a main thing. And not a lot

of, you can't really say that, like, and have

people understand you always. Sure. But I think

within our group, at least, we kind of have the

same, like, view of, like, yeah. Yeah, you're

able to, like, say stuff like that and, like,

people resonate with it. They get it, yeah. Ah,

yeah, no. Not that crazy of a take. Me too, right?

Yeah. And it's not like we all agree on everything.

Sure. But we're able to have these helpful, respectful

conversations that... kind of sometimes just

lead to more questions. But I think that's good

because it's just, it's healthy dialogue to like

help fuel our faith. Like I know since we started

doing that, I've just had more questions and

more interest to like find out what, because

I have, I know what I believe, but I'm kind of

now like, well, why do I believe that? What makes

me believe that? So it's been. kind of pushing

me to want to read the Bible more and actually

like find out the answers. I mean, not that I

will be able to find all the answers, but, but

then going back to what Chris said about not

having enough time, like I'm so busy doing everything,

but it's hard to always go and find time to read

the Bible, which again is why it's so nice to

be able to come and meet at the church where

I'm going to be anyway. Right. And have this

nice group of friends to talk to. Yeah. Yeah.

That's awesome. Um, so is there something, Because

we have lots of different folks who are listening

to our podcast. Some would be young adults, some

are not. Are there things that you wish that

more people understood about your generation

and about how young adults are interacting with

the world today? That you're like, ah, if I could

tell them one thing or two things, what might

that be? I mean, stop polluting. Yes. We have

to live in this world. I mean, I don't really

know. To be honest, as a young adult, and this

is not true for all young adults, but I'm a chill

and laid -back person, so I don't really have

anything to... You just need people to know that

you're chill and laid -back, I guess. Sure, yeah.

Elaine, you got it. Yeah, you got that. I'm still

thinking about it. I want people to know about

the adults. I don't know. I feel like people

have been young at some point in their life once,

so they know how it's like. Well, yeah. You'd

hope, yeah. But do you think being young in 2026

is different than being young in 2000? Because

now we have social media. Yeah. And is that,

how's that working out? You know, I love social

media. I spend all day on it. Yeah, super busy,

hey? I have no time to read the Bible because

I'm scrolling for too long. Which is actually

true. So if you're older, just know that our

attention span is now too small. probably everyone

is insecure because we're all comparing ourselves

to other people online. And it's hard to, it's

also hard to be open to different things, I think,

because sometimes when you're on social media,

like you're the algorithm will just continue

to give you things that you probably already

believe. So that's maybe why, um, like there's

so there's different extremes now for Christianity,

right? Like we were talking about, everyone thinks

that they're the right Christian because whenever

you're scrolling, You're just going to be constantly

flooded with more things that you agree with.

And it's just constantly reinforcing your beliefs.

Yeah. Fair. Yeah. It's a tough cycle. I mean,

that was just one random thing about social media.

Fair. This is what social media means. It shocks

it easily. Yeah. Again, with the social media

thing, it's kind of. it's become harder for us

to like socialize and like i feel like there's

like a like i don't know it's just harder for

groups to like our age to like interact and like

so it's yeah i think back in the days like people

had nowhere to go like if you want to like connect

with others you have to actually come to a place

and like gather yeah so they have a lot of more

a lot more motivation for them to like actually

get together with like their community so maybe

that's why like this is just like my hypothesis

like my assumption is that that's why like the

church sort of um are more active in the past

because that's where that's the one place where

people can like gather sure but now because we

have a lot of responsibilities we have a lot

of it like activities at a lot of groups and

most of them happen online yeah is that what

you mean yeah exactly it's harder to connect

yeah like we just have like we tend to have really

bad social skill like in person yeah and also

i feel like a lot of misconception that people

make about the younger generation is that we

do not care enough or like we are like less informed

but I feel like the case with us is that because

of the interconnected space that we are in right

now like the digital cyberspace we have a lot

of information coming in and we have a lot of

things that we could decipher in our own mind

so that's why like we tend to get like overwhelmed

so that's why we tend not to very we're not we

tend to not be very proactive about a certain

topic because we know that oh not a lot of people

like agree with us like we know the pro and cons

of that so we are more scared to talk about it

because we like the world was not supposed to

be as interconnected as it is today so i think

that's why like the older generation they are

they tend to be more focal about their opinions

because that's what they believe in and that's

what their family believes in and that's um how

like their friends think about that topic but

for us we know like a broader view sure a more

like global sure it's like information overload

yes yes so we tend to like oh i don't know about

it like i don't know i don't want to talk about

it because not because we don't know about it

but we know that it could get very complicated

and political and it's very multifaceted. So

that's why we're afraid to make a very concrete

point on it. So I think that issue can be further

connected to why we are not as involved in the

church or involved in the Christian community

because we know that it tends to have a very

bad rep and it tends to have a very... political

misunderstandings. So that's why we kind of step

back and be not very vocal about it. Sure. Because

of that. So I think that's why the older generations...

likes to say like oh the younger generations

are not as active we're not as social right now

because now that we know a lot of things so it's

like the the curve right like the more you know

like the more you're you know that you don't

know a lot of sure things so so i think yeah

yeah yeah i don't know that's what i meant to

say when i said chill and laid back yeah yeah

because yeah because you're confused right yeah

it's not you don't you don't know it's like you

know enough to be confused about it and be scared

about it. So maybe. What did I just say? I don't

know. No, I think that's totally fair. I second

that. There's just like all of this. information

right so like overload yeah so like processing

to figure out in the midst of really busy lives

exactly and in the midst of being told right

now you need to figure out who you're gonna be

exactly like how you want to live your life and

like all of these things right like there's a

lot of pressure yeah a lot of things are in our

place so we're just like yeah yeah no for sure

and i also think that people think that our generation

is really lazy but Because, you know, we're always

on social media or whatever. But we actually

work really hard. It's just the cost of living

is too high. So high. Inflation. We can't afford

to do anything. We can't get a job because we

need five years of experience to get a job. But

we have no experience because we just graduated

school or we just started school. Started school.

Yeah. Because the hustle culture is very real.

Sure. Right. Because our, like. um rivals have

been like very successful like if you're like

scrolling linkedin or even on instagram like

people are like announcing their oh i just got

this i just got an internship i just got this

and that and you're like oh i'm so behind in

life so that's really hard so because again we're

we as humans we're not supposed to see this many

comparisons in our life before before like social

media and now because like we are very connected

and we can see whatever people are doing on the

other side of the globe even. So we are, like,

stuffed with a lot of, like, comparisons and

a lot of things that people do and achieve in

life. So I think that's why we tend to, like,

get very self -conscious about ourselves. Yeah,

for sure. For sure. Yeah, I think it's interesting,

like, hearing all of these different reflections

and, like, all these different challenges and

things that you guys are facing. And, like, in

the midst of it all, you have sort of come together

and said, like, We're going to like figure it

out together. Right. Like we are all in the same

boat. And so like, we're going to come together

and like have some fun and like talk about Jesus

and like talk about how crazy life is and how

we don't have time for things. And the internet

is a depressing place. Talk about all of these

things, but like do it in joy and community together.

Definitely. Yeah. And like. I don't know, even

just like this conversation, I think has been

full of lots of joy. Oh yeah. Even as, even as

you've been like, these things are stressful,

but like there's, there's joy in, in that, in

coming together and figuring it all out. So yeah.

Yeah. Thank you so much folks. This has been

a really fun conversation. Um, and I think really

helpful on two fronts. One, just to like give

us a better insight into like what life is like

for, 20 somethings today and like how, how all

of that fits together. Yeah. And then to just,

again, as an encouragement for those who are,

you know, trying to figure out life right now

that they don't have to do that alone. Totally.

Come to young adults. Yeah. Cut that part out.

Got clipped. I knew it was going to be. These

things happen. Too often. Too often. And thank

you for tuning in to this week's episode of Trinity

Talks. Whether you are yourself a young adult

looking for a place of encouragement and comfort

in the midst of the challenge of this world.

or whether you are just someone who knows and

cares about young adults. I hope that you've

been able to find some encouragement, some challenge

to build your own spaces of community and to

care for one another well in the midst of this

really crazy world. And we will see you again

next week.