How do Christians Pray? And Why? | Trinity Talks Podcast

Lent is a time where we are preparing for Easter.

And here at Trinity, we're doing this thing in

Lent called This is the Way. And This is the

Way is all about spiritual formation, all about

spiritual practices and the things that help

us to follow Jesus better. So we're going to

spend the next few weeks talking about these

different spiritual practices together. And we're

going to start by talking about prayer, which

maybe sounds like a really basic spiritual discipline,

but I think we'll find that it's... It's a little

complex at times. It can be really intimidating

sometimes for some folks. So yeah, excited to

unpack that with you all. So yeah, just first,

when you think about prayer, how would you define

it? What are some of the words or language that

comes to mind? Someone was like, what is prayer?

What would you say to that? Do you want to start

a model? For me, prayer is the way that we have

a relationship with God because a lot of the

times prayer... I mean, yeah, you have communal

prayer, but a lot of the times prayer is a one

-on -one thing. It's, you know, you're talking

to God and you're asking for things or you're

praying for things. And that's your main line

of communication. Sure. Yeah. That's great. Yeah.

What would you say, Elizabeth? I hope divine

prayer is a direct ongoing dialogue with God

or communication. fellowship, and commune with

God. There are some Bible passages relating to

prayer. Philippians 4, 6 -7 says, Be careful

for nothing, but in prayer, be careful for nothing,

but in everything, by prayer and supplication.

With thanksgiving, let your requests be made

unto God. Verse 7 says, And the peace of God,

which passeth all understanding, shall keep your

hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. There

are other Bible quotations like Psalm 51, the

favorite Psalm of David when he was repenting

from his sins. Matthew 7, 7. Matthew 6, 9 to

13. That's about the Lord's Prayer. And Hebrew

4, 16. Jeremiah 29, verse 12. And so on like

Jeremiah 29:12

that. Okay. Yeah. So like when you think about

prayer, there's these like examples in the Bible

that sort of come to mind that show you this

is what it could look like. Yes. Yeah. OK. Yeah.

What would you add to that? I think I've got

a very basic definition. Anytime you address

God or have a sense that you are. acknowledging

his presence you know it can be short depending

on your circumstances it can be very intentional

and longer and it can take many forms I think

for me personally the sort of more personal address

is the dominant way in which I pray but there

have been so many times when I've also reached

for more structured prayers, which have given

me words. The Book of Common Prayer, there have

been times and periods in my life when I've reached

for those because they do have a broader, bigger

vision of who God is and, you know, the breadth

and depth that I sometimes can muster on my own.

So I think it's both. It's that sense of presence.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think what I like about all

that is that there is, a sense in which prayer

can be very personal, that it is just about you

and God and whatever words sort of come to mind

for you. But if that feels intimidating or if

you just don't know what to say, then there are

models in scripture, models in books and things

that other people have written that help us in

our prayer life. And I think that's really cool

that we get both of those things. God's not just

all about... wrote and it needs to be done this

specific way um we can use our words or if that

doesn't feel right we can use god's words we

can use other people's words so would you say

it's like there's uh like there's like a set

of prayers or so or like if you're feeling this

you pray this prayer or you're feeling that you

fear like or sort of like you turn to a certain

uh already written prayer Not a certain. I think

the thing with the daily offices and things like

that were that they had a lot more Psalms. They

had a lot more scripture that you can meditate

on and pray with it. So it changed each day.

Oh, okay. So it's not like a themed thing, right?

You can. I think there are also themed prayers.

I didn't go looking for those. I wanted just

a space where I wasn't. necessarily only ever

repeating my own concerns all the time I needed

at some point a bigger vision of who God is and

how he's working in the world and and I needed

the ability to do that with scripture and so

I reached for these practices to be able to allow

for that to happen right I have to confess it

was not though I mean there were you know times

and I went through that and then As usually,

you know, it dropped off a bit. Sure. Things

like that. But, yeah, those were times when I

felt that I was being pulled out of just my own

concerns. And that helped to deepen a sense of

trust in God. What really helps me is about the

acronym for prayer acts. Okay. We stand for adoration,

confession. Thanksgiving so I for my own I like

to go according to that sure yeah so it it really

helps me a lot yeah okay so acts adoration confession

Thanksgiving supplication these are good words

but they're big words so maybe we should just

take a take a sec to say what are we talking

about so Adoration, what does that look like?

Adoration prayer is the prayer we offer in praises

to God for all he has done for us. Yeah. Then

prayer of confession is like in Psalm 51, when

David offer... all his heartfelt communication

with God about the sins that he has committed

with Bathsheba. So he offered that kind of prayer.

So, and the Hebrew verb for that is jadah in

the main word. for the times in the Old Testament,

and it's used in 1, 14 times. So prayer of thanksgiving

is the expression of gratitude directed towards

God for his blessing, proficient protection,

and blessing that was received. um supplication

prayer is the action of petition asking for asking

god for something specific a solemn request for

help an object of worship so yeah yeah so adoration

this giving thanks to god or just like i i think

it's just acknowledging who god is like that

sense of transcendence right that he's so much

bigger than even he's just so much bigger and

so being able to first acknowledge that and letting

yourself meditate yeah on that space of just

how big he is how much greater than anything

we can imagine, and that, I find, is the space

of adoration. Yeah, I remember when we were talking

earlier, you said that you find adoration like

the hardest part of the prayer. Yes, yes, because

it's so transcendent compared to the other three,

right? The other three, I can say lots of, I'm

very thankful for so many things, but it's my

little world. Sure. Supplication and confession

are also my own little, my needs, my, and they

all matter, right? Every one of that matters,

but adoration is the space where you're, or releasing

yourself and focusing more on who God is, and

that can be challenging. For sure, for sure,

yeah. Yeah, so we recognize who God is, then

confession is kind of a moment of recognizing

who we are. Yeah. And not... Obviously, in the

context of confession, that can kind of have

a negative connotation. And that's, I think,

important for us to recognize our shortcomings

and also say that's not the entirety of who we

are. But in that moment, bringing those confessions

to God. Yeah, and then Thanksgiving. Again, I

think this is the part, like, when you pray.

when I pray with small children, it's often like,

okay, so what do you want to like thank God for?

And what do you want to ask God for? And these

are sort of the two, the two things. Okay. So

what are, what are we going to thank God for?

And then supplication is the, so what are we

going to ask God for? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think

that's a really helpful way to think about these

different aspects of, of prayer for sure. So

would you say acts the, that acronym that, that

that's how all your prayers should be structured,

but then like you can make it, personal like

how you think how you confess like what you're

confessing and all that kind of stuff it would

be like it because it sounds almost like you're

not telling us what to pray but you're saying

How the structure of your prayer should be. Yeah,

I think it depends on the individual. It does.

Yeah. I wouldn't say, I mean, sometimes I end

with adoration because I needed to get a whole

lot of like my own stuff out of the way before

I can. So I don't necessarily, I don't like,

it's a, you know, it's not necessarily a structured

model, but it is an easy way to understand four

aspects of prayer. And I feel like sometimes

adoration can just be. Like a very simple thing

of, anytime you say thank you God for whatever,

that's adoration. Correct, right? Well, kind

of. So the thank you God is the thanksgiving.

Oh, okay. Yeah, the adoration is more just like

who God is. Oh, okay. I guess the thanksgiving

is probably the easiest. It is. I do find it

easiest, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Adoration, I think.

it's connected to Thanksgiving. Right. But it

is, it's more, I think transcendent is a good

word for it. But it's like, God, you are creator.

God, you are father. God, you are life. We cannot

do anything without you. Yeah. But also, I think,

especially if you're struggling with some of

the challenges of our world today, it's that

space where you go, God, you haven't dropped

the ball. Yeah. You know, like, it's such a broken

world and you have to, you are the only one who

can actually redeem it because it feels so much

bigger than what we are capable of. And so that

space of release, that meditation on who God

is can allow for that to happen. For sure. Yeah.

So how, has prayer sort of been part of your

spiritual life so far? I know, like, for me,

I grew up in a household of Christians and people

of faith, and so, like, prayer was sort of a

thing that was always part of my life. But it's

become, I think, shifted over time. Like, I've

found now that, like, writing my prayers is actually

more helpful for me. It helps me to stay more

focused than just trying to, like, think or say

them out loud. But yeah, what about for other

folks? What does prayer look like for you? Prayer

has been part of my life, has been part of my

spiritual life since my childhood, growing up

in my family. My parents, they are very disciplinary

Christians. That, you know, even that time we

always say, oh, they are too strict on us and

all that. Because early in the morning before

5 a .m., we have to wake up and gather exactly

5 a .m. Everybody has to be in the living room

for morning devotion. At night before we go to

bed, the same routine every day of our lives.

So it's been... It's a real discipline for you.

Yeah, it's been like that. Even up till now,

I stay awake very early in the morning to do

my... Still 5 a .m.? To do my devotion. Even

sometimes before then because I always go to

bed early. Sure. so that i can get up early so

yeah it's been part of my life it's like if i

don't do it in a day it's like i'm worn out or

something so it's like feeding myself spiritually

every day you know it's like having breakfast

so that's how prayer is and you know the bible

always says pray without ceasing so continuously

every every time of the day so that we won't

be 10 times above our limitation. Sure. So I

say Christian. Yeah. But do you feel like now

as an adult, when you're making the choice to

still get up at five, that it actually doesn't

mean more now as an adult than when you were

as a kid? I don't. It's the same, you know, because

it's been part of my life. So I'm used to it.

If I'm sleeping like this, something will just

wake me up at that particular time. It's just

part of who you are. Yeah, it's been part of

me all my life. And we're always grateful. Sometimes

when me and my siblings gather together, maybe

for occasion or maybe Christmas or Easter season,

we always talk about our appearance because we

are orphans now. We always cherish what, you

know, the foundation that they have laid in our

life and we're following it and our children

are following it too. So, you know, even raising

my daughter, I was so strict with her because

I don't joke with prayer or anything pertaining

to Christian life. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting

you say that with the, with, because the thing

is, it's like, I mean, I was born into a Muslim

family, and for the first 20 years of my life,

I was considered Muslim. But one of the things

that was difficult was the fact that, like, even

if I was saying my prayers, it was, you know,

I was just going through the motions. I was just

trying to memorize the Arabic words. I didn't

even know what a lot of it meant, and I didn't

have any desire, you know, and I was just going

through the motions. Now that I'm Christian,

you know, when I pray, I actually really mean

it. You know, I'm actually, it means something,

you know. It's not just going through the motions

or saying, like, you know, at the very least,

it's a reminder or something, you know. Like,

even the Lord's Prayer, you know, we always say

at church, you know, sometimes it's a good reminder,

yes, you know. You know, give me, you know, like,

yes, I've, you know, forgive me for my sins,

all this kind of stuff, you know. But I find,

yeah, it's now that I'm Christian, it's like,

like, the thing is, is with Islam, when you did

your prayers, it was always a scheduled time.

Sure. You know, it was always like you have to

call the prayer and then you do your prayers

and you have certain prayers and and whatnot

that you do for certain times and whatever, you

know, and it's very. very structured, but I,

as a Christian, I don't have that. It's so, you

know, if I, you know, if I make the time to say

a prayer, I actually mean it. And that's important.

And I feel like even as Christians, I think it's

important that whenever we're saying our prayers,

that we're actually meaning it and that it's

not, you're not just saying it well, because

we have to say, you know, like, you know, because

it. Because it's like, you know, if God can tell

if you're repentant, God can also tell if you

actually mean what you're praying. Yeah, for

sure. Yeah, I mean, for me, prayer, as I said,

is very personal, very often. And Elizabeth,

I was listening to you and thinking, oh, I'm

a parent and I don't do it. What am I doing here?

You don't force your kids to get up at 5 a .m.

No, I don't. We pray every night. And there used

to be a time when we would pray in the morning,

too. You know, things got early. The kids are

going off to leaving at 7 .15. So it just, I'm

like, oh, my goodness, maybe that's what I should

be doing. But personally, though, you're right.

Like, I think it's that space of relationship,

right, that is so important in the Christian

walk with God and in prayer. On the one hand,

the lack of imposition because it creates space

for relationship is so valuable in terms of being

able to address God as a father, as somebody

who cares. And at the same time, a lack of structure

can also sort of let you drift off. For sure.

You know, because it's not so imposed. Anyway,

so that I will say that that is my struggle on

an ongoing basis. The ability to both lean into

the relationship and at the same time, if I'm

not actually structuring it, it is easy. easy

to not spend the time intentionally praying.

So, yeah. And I mean, I get that, like, especially

if you're raising kids, you need to have that

structure. But I think it's like, I think it's

a sign of a successful Christian parent when,

you know, they they're adults and they still

want to continue the daily prayer. They still

want to do that. You know, it's like I always

think like, you know, a successful parent is,

you know, you go from. dragging your kids to

the church to them when they're old enough be

like no i'm going to church yeah you know yeah

or they go off to college okay let me find a

church you know yeah yeah yeah because they aren't

going to ask for righteousness so being in prayer

mode is the best will sure yeah it really shapes

all of the other practices all of the other pieces

of our faith yeah for sure Yeah. So then when

you think about prayer, what are some of the

parts that you feel like are really challenging?

We've talked about, you know, this trying to

make it a habit and, you know, the struggle,

I think, between we don't want it to be too rigid,

but maybe some structure is helpful sometimes.

Yeah. What else is challenging about prayer?

In my life, I don't really have find any challenging

about prayer because. I always create time for

myself in prayer. The only challenging issue

I have is, you know, like maybe when you are

in a restaurant and immediately you bow your

head like this, people start looking at you,

you know. Or maybe on my break time at work,

oh. the Christian lady is here, you know, all

those things. Sure. You don't want to, like,

stand out. So that's the only challenging part

I have in my life. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I would

say that the place where I find challenge, I

think that sense of transcendence that we alluded

to earlier is the place where, and... where I

find it challenging. But I think the way it comes

out most is it's easy when I'm praying for myself,

my family. You know, those things are very concrete.

They're very new. It's hard to pray for the world.

Yeah. It's hard to even know what to pray for

or how to put that to God. And I do find that

challenging. That space, I just don't know, like,

is it worth praying? Like, you know, like, how

do you even begin to address the brokenness?

and hurt and pain and violence. In prayer, God

can give me a lot of peace when I'm praying within

my own little space. But when it feels like the

brokenness just goes on in so many painful ways,

it just feels unending. And there I really find

me wondering how to pray. That is a... space

where i find it very challenging to pray yeah

to know what to pray and to know how to pray

and to know what it you know what it's doing

or anything yeah yeah i really resonate with

that like there there are so many moments where

i'm like god it's just a mess yes i don't feel

like i have more words than that yeah yeah um

and so yeah it really depends on the concern

sure um how easy it is to pray or not yeah yeah

for sure and i think in some of those moments

there's this passage in scripture that talks

about like when we don't know what to pray yeah

that like god's spirit intercedes for us and

that like our groans are a kind of prayer yeah

um and i think that's really beautiful and like

helpful to be like I don't need words because

I can't pull them out of my head right now. Yeah,

I hadn't thought of that. God hears us in that.

That space of sorrow before God is itself a kind

of prayer. Yeah, I hadn't thought of that. Yeah,

I mean, it's definitely the daunting thing to

pray for all the brokenness because it's like,

you know, individuals on their own, it's like...

can be very very stubborn like for sure even

the whole idea of forgiveness yeah there'll be

people that will never forgive somebody and go

to their grave not forgiving yeah you know and

then you add in all this extra pain and hurt

and everything and back and forth it's like yeah

you know being redeemed and being trying to be

a good christian and coming to christianity i

mean this is things that it's not easy it's not

something that you know in some ways it feels

like a long shot like you know it's like it's

like again like most of my family either they

are not christians or they're muslims or you

know and it's like could some of them come to

jesus maybe but it's feels like a very long shot

sure it's a long time of prayer you know and

it's just sort of like you get to the point where

it's like I mean, it would be nice, but, you

know, you sometimes you don't want to pray for

big stuff like that because most likely the people

are going to disappoint you by not being that

way. Sure. Yeah. So it's easy. Sometimes I find

it's easy almost to like dismiss people because

then they can't hurt you. Sure. If they're already

a lost cause, well, then, you know, it's okay.

You know what I mean? Right. Sure. Versus if

you want to have hope and they keep letting you

down. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't give up.

Just continue praying. That's what I was going

to say. I think in a moment like that, you can

actually think of prayer as a diagnostic on your

own trust and release to God, you know. like

his timeline is not ours and the prayer can be

that space where you're praying for something,

especially if it's very concrete. Right. And

you're like, okay, I don't have the timeline

on this, but I keep going because that itself

is the act of trust that God has it. Even if

you don't see it now or in a month or in a year,

like, I don't know. There are so many stories

of people who have been praying 20 years before

someone came to Christ or, you know, and that's

pace where. Yeah. You both recognize the need,

but release the result to God. Right. And that's

hard. We want to see things now. So, but yeah.

Yeah. I mean, in a lot of ways, it's like the

whole, was it Jesus leaving the 99 for the one?

Right. You know, and you're like, okay, well,

is somebody in my family going to be the one?

Or is it going to be like some random person?

You know what I mean? Each of us is the one.

True. But, you know, as well, sometimes I feel

like, you know, it's easy to pray for somebody

if someone actually has, like, a prayer request,

you know, for, like, they need help with this

or whatever. But sometimes I also want to pray

more for me that I continue to be a good Christian.

Sure. And I think both are allowed. You know,

because it's like. OK, you could say try to save

everybody. But like at the same time, you want

to be written in the book of life. The last thing

you want is Jesus to say, depart from me. I never

knew you. Right. Sure. I want him to say, well

done, my good and faithful servant. Right. You

know, so I'm always so I'm kind of thinking like,

you know, I'm on this Christian journey. How

do I continue to be on the right path? You know,

because you can be Christian and then it's like.

You could still be doing all the wrong things

or being or not being Christlike or, you know.

Sure. Yeah. So we need we need to pray for ourselves

as much as we need to pray for other people.

And those I think that it all sort of feeds together.

Yeah. Yeah. So anything like when you think about

prayer, are there any moments that you're like

this prayer felt like really helpful or really

comforting or brought a lot of joy into my life?

Yeah. What? What has been the blessing of prayer,

I guess, for you? I will say that in times when

I've really struggled emotionally, and it has

had more of a personal, like whether it's in

a relationship or something, those deep prayers

and those moments, which are very different from

the sort of more regular prayers you pray, God

has two things happen. One is the space of surrender.

There's a genuine sense that this is in your

hands. But the receiving, aspect of that is that

place of peace where God has said, okay, I've

got this, you know, and, um, and you have both.

And those are those times that you really deepen

your trust that God's got you. Sure. Um, that

just in his hands, that among the mess, sometimes,

sometimes of your own creating, sometimes you've

contributed, sometimes you're just receiving

it. Um, there is that place where he is listening

and he. is there and he can be trusted with what

you've given to him and released and so that

place of surrender has been really important

for me to be to have an ongoing walk with jesus

because he's been so faithful in those moments

yeah yeah for sure yeah for other folks Prayer

has helped me to stay connected to God by strengthening

my faith and my relationship with God. It helps

me to meditate more, deepen my faith, intercede

for others. Prayer helps me as a spiritual, mental,

and emotional tool that connects me to higher

power. me to the presence of God where I get

peaceful feelings, you know, and encouragement,

you know, in time of maybe despair or any stress

going on. Like, after pouring my heart to God,

during stress, uncertainty, or grief, so it's...

still bring me back to a peaceful presence of

God, you know, where I can find peace. Even three

years ago, within five months apart, I lost my

senior brother and my senior sister. So it was

the Bible versus prayer and then... Other people

praying for me. The Stephen ministry that I'm

involved, they were praying for me. And members

of my family, too, they were praying. We all

gather. We connect on WhatsApp. We pray for each

other. We empower each other. So prayer has been

a tool. I'll call my faith. For sure. For sure.

Yeah, that's beautiful. I think both of you sharing

like, yeah, just in those really hard times,

God meets us there. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. I mean,

it's I don't think of necessarily comfort and

joy when I think of praying. Maybe because, again,

I'm not even a year into my Christian journey,

but. You know, it's not like a miserable thing

either. You know what I mean? It's not like,

oh, I got to pray. No, it's like, you know, I,

you know, I just, you know, try to pray and try

to like, I think for me, it's just always remembering

to try to, to, you know, praise God or so every

day, you know, try to remember him. Because I

feel like a lot of the times people in today's

society, I feel like even in North America, it's

like, you know. they it's not that they don't

believe in god they just choose to not incorporate

god in their life sure yeah yeah so maybe being

intentional about it is important yeah so on

that note as we are walking through this this

is the way journey and we're encouraging people

to think about how to practice these different

things so how to practice prayer so uh some practical

tips like things we've mentioned so far so this

model of act adoration, confession, thanksgiving,

supplication. I really love the different examples

that you brought up, Elizabeth, from scripture,

and then also sort of complementing that with

the Book of Common Prayer or with other prayers

that folks have written. Yeah, any other sort

of practical tips that you would want to end

us with? I would say begin small. Sure. Just

those, you know, simple addressing God, bringing

your concerns to Him, because If you're finding

prayer hard over time, recognizing he's there

in those small moments, you'll find it more easier.

So be patient with the process. You'll find it

easier to just consistently bring your prayer

to God. Yeah. And the other thing I would say

is that sometimes prayer is an expression of

faith, but sometimes it's an act of faith. Like,

you know, you may not feel. peaceful at the end

of it it may be a struggle to do go five minutes

of prayer even and at the same time you know

knowing that that is itself a step towards um

intentionally um addressing god as present is

um it'll get easier yeah for sure i definitely

agree with like keeping it simple at least for

at first you know i think it's just making sure

like There's so many things we need to make time

for in our lives. So just make time to even say

something simple. Like I try to say once a day,

you know, thank you, God, for another day of

life. You know, it's simple. Yeah. And it's prayer,

you know. And then I'd also say, you know, sometimes

maybe if you're not comfortable with it, you

know, you know, pray at night in in your room

in bed, like which is what Jesus said. in the

Sermon on the Mount, you know, or on a walk or

when you're driving to work, you know, turn off

the radio and just start, you know, you know,

just stuff like that. And then I think, again,

the big thing is whenever you pray, actually

mean it. Sure. Don't just pray to pray. Sure.

I actually mean it. Yeah, yeah. Just take that

time to get connected with your heart and your

emotions in that moment and honesty with God.

Even if we're reading someone else's prayers,

just to think about, okay, how does this ground

me right now? Yeah. And be honest about, like,

I think sometimes people find it hard to pray

when they think they have to pray in a certain

way. And I'm going to say, just be honest, honest

about your daily struggles, honest about what

you need, honest about. you know, anything to

recognize that God wants that relationship with

you and in wherever you are. And so that honesty

can allow for a space to begin to. Let God work

where you are. For sure. For sure. Yeah. Thank

you so much, folks. This has been a really rich

conversation to dive into what does prayer mean?

How does it work in our lives? And for those

who are watching or listening, I hope that you

have been able to find some helpful tips for

prayer. If you want to join us on this journey,

you can go to trinitystreetsville .org slash

this is the way to find some more resources about

prayer and all of these spiritual practices.

that we're gonna cover together over the next

few weeks. And we will see you again next week.