Burn Out, Self Care and Sabbath | Trinity Talks Podcast

Hello everyone and welcome to this week's episode

of Trinity Talks. My name is Kyla. My name is

Amalvel. My name is Elizabeth. And Hugh. And

we are here to continue talking about some spiritual

practices. Some of those things that we can do

that help us as we learn what it means to follow

Jesus. And we started by talking about prayer.

Then we moved to talking about scripture reading.

Then last week we talked about this idea of solitude.

And today we're talking about this thing called

Sabbath. And Sabbath is a practice where we take

some time out just to rest, to delight in God.

And that sounds really great, but I think it

can also be really challenging sometimes. And

so, yeah, I want to sort of unpack together what

that might look like and what are some of the

ways that we have found that to be helpful, what

are some of the ways that we found that challenging.

But first, what is Sabbath? When you hear that

word, when you think about it, what sort of comes

to mind for you when you think about what is

Sabbath? Do you want to start us off, Hugh? Sure.

Sabbath is a time of rest. And rest means disconnecting

from the world and filling your mind, your heart,

your soul again, so you can go back into the

world and embrace the world. When we get so busy,

so stressed out, so burnt out on the edge of

burnout, I mean, the research is saying that

A large percentage of people in the workplace

now are on the edge of burnout. And so we need

Sabbath more than ever. Sure. And Sabbath is

something that God mandated. It's one of the

Ten Commandments. But Jesus also said that it's

more than a rule, that it was made for us. We

weren't made for the Sabbath, but the Sabbath

was made for us. So he's ordering us, in a sense,

or commanding us to rest. And it's the best self

-care we can do. For sure. It's to rest our minds,

our souls, our emotional, our psyches, so that

we have more to give others. Because we can't

give to others what we... don't have ourselves

sure so that's what the sabbath is for sure yeah

and i think like what you were saying there it

connects to the idea that we talked about last

week of like solitude and that it is a bit of

a withdrawing and and taking time apart but it

doesn't always have to be that sometimes we sabbath

with other people as well absolutely absolutely

yeah what would you add to that elizabeth when

you think about what is sabbath um to me um to

me according to from the hebrew The foundation

is from the Hebrew, Shavuot, to cease, to rest.

And it's a 24 -hour period of rest. It's the

seventh day of the week, designated in the Bible

as Holy Day of Rest. Worship and reflection.

It was established in Genesis 2 -3. Exodus 28

to 11. In regards to the Sabbath day, it was

written in 10 commandments to keep it holy. Right.

And then in Mark 2. 27 to 28. Right. So those

are the passages that he was just talking about,

that it's part of the 10 commandments. And then

it's part of what Jesus commands us as well.

And then the part that you talked about in Genesis,

I think is really interesting because there we

see that God takes a Sabbath, right? We see that

God rests. And so I think that's important to

remember that like, we don't take a rest because

Yeah. Like we take a rest, like God took a rest.

Right. And so we can't say, oh, I'm too busy

for this. Right. Because God did it. And if God

rested, then like we should rest. Right. God

has made an example for us. Yeah. Yeah. What

would you add to that? I would say, especially

in the modern sense, I mean, Sabbath is really

a digital detox. OK. Because, you know, again,

it's. you know maybe in back in the day it was

a lot easier to do to keep Sabbath but we have

our phones we have our laptops we have our we

you know sometimes we have to work on Sundays

you know and so it's it's one of those things

where like we can occupy our time and our space

and our energy through technology but on on the

Sabbath you got to replace that with you know

either with stuff like you know just gathering

with other christians sharing a meal going for

a walk reading your bible doing any any of that

sort of stuff so it's it's a day where you kind

of have to replace like the norm the of our society

because again like our society is not i don't

think especially modern society i don't think

uh we are the i don't i don't think we we're

like we're it's not it's almost like we're not

designed to be keeping sabbath our society trains

us you know right always keep busy keep going

keep going exactly harder do more i mean you

look at retail for example there's no sundays

off right you know good lucky being a christian

wanting to go to church on sunday even sometimes

if you're in retail it's like not gonna happen

right yeah The city keeps running. People keep

going. Everybody. Nobody stops. Nobody. Yeah.

And I mean, I do. I do. I don't think I can remember

it, but like there was a period of time where

even in Canada where Sundays most things were

closed. Right. And now look at it. It's like

nothing closes on Sundays nowadays. So. Yeah.

So I think there's. Two questions that are now

coming up for me as we think about this. So the

first question maybe is like, okay, so we've

talked about Sabbath as a concept, that it's

a time for rest. It's a time for delight. It's

a time for slowing down. But what does that actually

look like? Like is Sabbath just sitting on the

sofa and like being quiet all day? Is Sabbath

like taking a nap? Like what does one do? What

does Sabbath look like, do you think? To me,

Sabbath is the day of reflection. You're reflecting

back to what God has done in your life. And it's

a solemn day to worship, to read your Bible,

and then to pray. So to take delight in God.

creation, you know, all those things. So that's

for me as a day of Sabbath. And again, it's a

day that, you know, we come around like church

brethren here to worship, to praise God in the

beauty of his holiness, you know, to fellowship

with each other. Yeah. Yeah. So in some ways

Sabbath is like, excuse me, is a practice that

like holds space for all of the other spiritual

practices, right? That it becomes a place where

we practice prayer and we practice scripture

reading and we practice gathering and worshiping,

right? So it holds some of those other practices.

Okay, what else? That's right. Well, I think

it's, I like what you said, Elizabeth and Kyla.

I think it's all of that. To me, it means that

we stop doing so that we can be freed from being.

And being means that we're not captured by all

the things, all the tasks, but we're free to

be who we are and to be more of who we are. And

I think the key for Sabbath is the freedom to

build and pursue relationships. Because it's

a time devoted to people and to build those relationships.

You're sitting around a table or you're eating

or sharing a meal or you're playing with your

kids or you're calling your mother or your grandmother.

It's a time for people. And I think that's a

lot of the reason Gabe... God gave us this time

because relationships are so key. God is relationship.

God has always been in relationship. Relationship

is the key thing for God. It's a central focus

of our existence is relationships. And we're

discovering now through our contemporary research.

how relationship is so important. In fact, people

who come to church, who have Sabbath regularly,

people who have good relationships in their life

actually are healthier and live longer. And so

the Sabbath is so important because it affects

all of our life. And if you don't do it, you

don't live as long and you're not as healthy.

Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. That's interesting to

think about. Like it doesn't, it obviously has

like spiritual benefit as we like get to spend

time with God. It also has like physical health

benefits and relational health benefits. Yeah.

Yeah, for sure. Now, what about when you think

about like what Sabbath looks like a model, are

there like specific things that you would sort

of put in that day or that period? I mean, for

me, it's like my experience with Sabbath itself.

It's, I mean, the closest that I come is. coming

to church because for that at least for those

two three hours you know the phone's away it's

not you know the ringers are off you know i'm

you know listening to the sermon i'm singing

the worship songs and then oftentimes i'm spending

a good amount of time after church just chatting

with other christians and you know it's a it's

a nice way to forget about all the nonsense that's

going on in the world or As well, it's a time

to gather with other Christians. And especially

when you don't come from a family of Christians,

it's nice to be able to share that Sabbath with

people that are walking the same faith journey

as you. Yeah, I remember when I was having a

conversation with my partner at one point about

like, okay, what would it look like for us to

practice the Sabbath together? You know, it was

like, well, what does that even mean? Like, what

counts as Sabbath? Right. What counts as rest

and delight? I was like, I think of it as things

that we are doing because we want to do them,

not things that we're doing because we have to

do them. Now, obviously, in a given day, there

are certain things that you have to do. Right.

Like to take care of yourself, to be healthy.

But like, what if we fill our day with, you know,

going for a walk or. What if we fill our day

with like having a meal with our families? Right.

Like now that isn't inherently restful for some

people. Having a meal with their parents is very

stressful and you don't want to do that. But

if that is a place of rest and delight and like

it brings you joy and peace, then like do that.

Right. It might mean sleeping in and, you know,

taking a really slow day. But like there are

having a day of rest doesn't mean. We do nothing.

Right. It means we do things that feel that like

feel life giving to us. That's right. Yeah. OK,

so then the other question that sort of came

up when you were talking a model, you said, you

know, Sunday is like really hard to make that

a day of rest for some people. So then my other

question is, when is the Sabbath and does it

matter when it is? Yeah. So I think traditionally

in the Christian experience, Sunday. has sort

of been a day of Sabbath. But yeah, what is sort

of your experiences of when Sabbath is? What

does your Sabbath look like, Elizabeth? To me,

my Sabbath starts from Saturday evening. So in

preparation for Sunday service or Sunday mood.

So like, For me, growing up, the way we were

raised in my family, so we have to prepare everything

that we're going to use on Sunday, on that Saturday

evening. Especially our clothing, because thank

God for Canada, we have electricity 24 -7 here.

But back in Nigeria, you know, there is an issue

of lighting off for like days or so. So in preparation

for Sabbath, you know, you have to get your clothes

ready because you don't want to go to church

on Sunday with wrinkled clothes. So you iron

your clothes, you know, you prepare meal. Because

we don't cook on Sunday. We just warm the food

on Sunday. So all those things start from Saturday

up to this moment in my life. Yeah, I think that's

important to think about. Okay, whenever our

Sabbath is going to be, maybe we need some time

before the Sabbath starts to prepare well so

that we can actually rest. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

And you said that there's Sundays where you have

to work. So how does that work? Like, do you

take your Sabbath on an actual day off? No, not

really. I still take my Sabbath on Sunday because

at work I have break time. Okay. Even sometimes,

most of the time I was service online. Okay.

So I still observe my Sabbath and, you know,

the work I do deal with people with disability.

So you have to be 24 -7 compassionate towards

the people that you care for. So I always observe

my Sabbath despite I'm working that day. Okay,

yeah. So your work has a little bit of flexibility

where you're able to do that. So yeah, make that

space for yourself. What about for you, Hugh?

What does your Sabbath look like? When do you

try and find time in the week to practice that?

Well, it varies. Sunday, for sure. But sometimes

if I'm traveling on Sunday or have other commitments

on Sunday, then I have to carve out another time

of the week. Sure. It's interesting. This conversation

reminds me of Julia Cameron, and she wrote the

book The Artist's Way. Okay. And in that, she

said that, you know, sort of her Sabbath, is

having a date with herself. Okay. So taking the

full day and just doing things that really pampers

her soul, like visiting a museum or calling a

good friend or spending lunch with someone that's

really important to her. So she's having a date

with herself. And I like that. And sometimes

when I get really busy and things are all over

the place, I remember that. And I think, okay,

it's time that I have a date with myself. And

so the Sabbath, for me, could be a Wednesday.

It could be a Thursday. It depends. Yeah, it

really depends on what the rest of your week

looks like. Yeah, I think the other thing that

you had mentioned in the novel was that sometimes

it can't be a whole day, right? And so even taking

a few hours for rest and for delight and that

sort of a thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I think

really it's the sense of rest, the sense of spending

time with God, the sense of spending time in

community, like all of those things. just being

really intentional about it is what makes it

Sabbath. Yes. And, and there is something important

about gathering for worship. And so if you're

able to sort of have a Sabbath on a Sunday, then

like, that's awesome. But if that doesn't work

for you, like, I know I like working in a church

Sunday morning does not feel like a Sabbath for

me. Right. I'm always like, okay, is this working?

Is that working? Whatever. So like, I need to

find other spaces where I can be like, okay.

I am not on right now. You're not having your

Sabbath right now. Yes, no. Clearly not. I love

this. This is great. This is not restful. No.

Yeah, for sure. So does your Sabbath begin in

the afternoon or so? So usually I alternate.

Depends on, again, the week and sort of what's

happened. But usually I'll take Friday or Saturday

as a Sabbath. Got it. And usually more Saturday

because Friday is also a day off. I generally

don't work on Fridays. But that means it's also

a really good day for me to make appointments

to do other things because other people are working

on Fridays. But then Saturdays can be a little

bit more chill. I can sleep in a little bit.

I can make plans to go out for a walk or to go

have dinner with somebody or whatever sort of

feels helpful and restful that week. Yeah. So

when we think about Sabbath, it sounds really

delightful. But what makes it so hard? Why do

you think people struggle with the idea of having

a Sabbath or practicing a Sabbath? Well, I think

if you haven't grown up in a family where that's

practiced, it almost seems like, what am I supposed

to do with my time? Like, I remember it's funny

because. I don't remember which of the deadly

sins it was, but when we were doing the series

on the deadly sins, one of them was talking about

how we need to rest and what that looks like.

And I remember listening to that and be like,

does anyone really rest? Right. In that sense,

does anyone really do that? Because we're so,

again, we're so conditioned to. you know to be

busy to be on the go again like our society celebrates

people that are you know not you know that are

like always working and always hustling and always

making appointments and all these you know it's

glorified in our in our society for sure to be

able to say no you know and i'm going to take

a rest you know because then you also get because

then it's also easy for people to be like, Oh,

you're just being lazy or why aren't you motivated

or whatever, you know? But it's, you know, I

think we, it is a good thing to be able to take

a rest from the world. I mean, it can be exhausting.

I mean, just even just getting on your phone

and looking at on Facebook or Instagram or so

it's mentally exhausting to be able to put all

that away for a while and just be like, you know,

and, you know, be reminded of God and remember,

you know, his people and everything like that.

I mean, it's, it's a lot, it's more, it's, it's

more beneficial because it's, you know, we're

not asking for, you know, spend all your time

away from technology and all that, but you got

to give yourself a break. For sure. Yeah. Yeah.

What about you folks? When you think about like,

what makes Sabbath hard? What comes to mind for

you? To me, Sabbath is not that hard for me.

Okay. You find it easy to rest and to take a

break? Excuse me. I love myself. Okay. And I

always work hard. So taking Sabbath is like a

self -care for me. So time to... renew my mind,

you know, to be at peace with God, to connect

with God. And I know every day I read my scripture,

I pray every day, but I find Sabbath day more

profound in my life where I can connect to my

family. And friends and also to my church community.

Here we are now. We are here to worship God and

to praise him for what he has done in our life.

So Sabbath day is not an issue. Okay. For me.

You find it really like motivating. Yeah. Okay.

That's awesome. What about for you, Hugh? Well,

I think it was at some point in my career because

I was in the people business. Yeah. Social worker

for over 40 years. And what happens when you're

giving and giving and giving to others, you get

compassion fatigue. And sometimes you're not

aware that that's happening. And that's when

you really need the Sabbath. And when I realized

that and I could get back and restore my soul,

restore my body, restore my heart, my mind. my

compassion rose up again. It was like I was refueled.

I was renewed. And I could go out there and be

more compassionate again instead of being really

tired. And, you know, there's a term that I really

like. And you know that your compassion is restored

when you go out there and you're excited about

caring for others. It's kind of like a gorilla

compassion. Right. You're meeting people on the

highway and you're praying for them. Or you're

in line at the grocery store and you're saying,

oh, no, not again. You're not saying that. You're

saying you're praying for the cashier. Right.

And you're doing that kind of thing. That means

you're renewed. Your compassion is on edge again.

Right. But compassion fatigue is a real issue.

It's a real issue for people and the professionals

in the people business, especially. Yeah, yeah,

yeah, for sure. And I think especially folks

who work with people, like you said, like social

workers or doctors or whoever, sometimes it can

be really hard to leave work at work. Right.

Like you can be like, OK, I need to take a break.

But as I'm taking a break, what's going to happen

to Bob or Sue or whoever? Right. And so, you

know, making sure that you have trusted colleagues

who can take that and like surrendering that

to God in prayer in some way is really, really

hard, but also like so important to be able to

take that step back. I let things affect me emotionally

that I was having too much stress. Despite I'm

praying, but this issue is a prolonged issue

and it was addressed. But when you're addressing

an issue and the individual is still taunting

you, taunting you, So it comes to a point that

I almost have a cardiac arrest. Wow. That was

last year, July. But I thank God for my life.

I took some time off from work. I took three

months off. But during that time, I bounced back

again. Because it's like a solemn time for me,

for reflection. take good care of myself so that

time that three months time was like a self -care

yeah time for me you know to renew right that

was kind of forced upon you right yeah you know

if we don't take care of ourselves right yeah

it was a forced sabbatical Yeah. University professors

have had sabbaticals for years. Right. And then

some companies now are giving sabbaticals as

well. They might be like three or four months

or they might be six months. Yeah. But they see

the value now. Not enough for doing it. For sure.

But I think it's important. Yes. Yeah. I think

the other challenging thing about Sabbath is.

If you don't live by yourself, you really need

to get your, like, whoever's in your household

on board with this idea of Sapna. Right. Right?

Because it does... If you're going to do it for

a whole day, it changes that day. Right. You

can't be like, oh, I just don't want to parent

today because it's my Sabbath from parenting.

Right. Or like, oh, well, you know, I'm not going

to cook dinner and we're just going to we're

all going to fast today because I'm Sabbath thing.

Right. Like or whatever it is, like you need

to get your household on board and be like, OK,

what works for us, for our family, for our living

situation so that we can do. this together and

that can be hard but like i would say that's

a really important conversation to sort of have

and it helps because if you can establish with

your family early on then when they go out into

the world it's easier for them to sure to try

to keep the sabbath and understand what the sabbath

looks like to them yeah for sure for sure yeah

so we've talked about some of the joy and the

rest and the benefits you know of compassion

fatigue and then you know having this renewed

sense of compassion time for rest and connection

are there other things that when you think about

like the joys of sabbath that come to mind for

you anything else you wanted to add elizabeth

you know like The joyful part of it is coming

to church, you know. Okay, yeah. To set certain

hours apart for God to worship with other church

community. And, you know, our God is King of

Kings and Lord of Lords. So, you know, I look

at myself. I'm a daughter of Zion, so I'm here

to worship God, you know, and to fellowship with

my church community. And after, you know, the

joyful part of it is sometimes Sunday when I'm

off, either my daughter and her children come

to me, you know, to just enjoy ourselves, or

I go there to visit. So that's... a joyful part

of my life to connect with my church community

to my friends and my fellow family members yeah

and I think if if you're able to take a sabbath

on sunday and sort of come to church that's awesome

like definitely encourage that if that's like

not possible for whatever reason then like maybe

you take your sabbath around the same time as

you like meet with a small group of people or

maybe you just like make extra time in that sabbath

to like you know re -watch the sunday service

or like listen to some worship music like making

that time for gathering and that sort of thing

Yeah. So then when you think about Sabbath, what

are some like practical tips, some things that

people can do to really help them get into this

practice and structure it well in their lives?

What would you have to add, Hugh? I would say

just schedule it. Okay. Yeah. You know, it's

very, very basic, but I guess if you don't, if

you don't plan it, if you don't schedule it,

it's not going to happen. Yeah. But so schedule,

let's say next week I have Wednesday and Wednesday

is going to be a Sabbath. Right. Or Sunday or

whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Schedule. Make a plan.

For sure. Yeah. What else would you add? I would

say you kind of almost have to treat the Sabbath

like making like a healthy lifestyle choice where,

you know, where they say like, like instead of

just getting rid of an unhealthy item. Right.

And going cold turkey, you know. Yeah. You replace

it with something else. Sure. So if you're going

to get rid of the technology for a while, what

are you replacing it with? Sure. And I mean,

if anything, I mean, start small. Like, can you

go to church service without looking at your

phone? Right. Do you need to even bring your

phone for church service? Sure. Right. You know?

Yeah. So it's just, you know, like anything,

you start small and see how it goes. Again, it's

not. Especially, I think, my generation and younger,

we grew up with the Internet and phones and games

and all of this technology, all this distraction

and escapism. We have to sort of reprogram ourselves

to be able to be like, you know, being at church,

being with Christians, being, you know, reading

scripture. This is all things that we should

be filling our times with. Right. And even if

it's for one day, at least it helps to know that

we don't have to 100 % rely on technology. Yeah,

for sure. For sure. What about you, Elizabeth?

As for me, you know, Sabbath day, according to

the scripture, to keep it holy. So we should

keep it holy, then come and worship at church,

then avoid shopping. You know, do something good

that will benefit the individuals on Sabbath

day. Like before the COVID, we used to do like

travel light. We visit hospital. Long -time care,

you facilitate all those things. We go there

to sing worship songs for them. It's like a small

worship group that we go around the community

to do for the people that are... uh elderly and

all that that even some people that can come

to church so we offer them um worship song and

all that so do something profitable for the for

the body of christ it's a great rewarding to

be doing you know so after after i leave church

now i'm going to visit some individuals in the

community. So sometimes that is the way I spend

my Sabbath day if my daughter doesn't call me

or I don't go and visit them. So I do something

then later in the evening I come back. eat my

special meal for Sunday and relax. Yeah. Yeah.

So like making time for other people and for

serving people. Um, and I think that's, that's

really helpful and important. If that's something

that feels like really life -giving to you, I

think to go back to what Hugh had said about

like compassion fatigue, some there for some

people that will be really awesome. Like to have

times to serve and to be with people for other

people. Doing more volunteering on the Sabbath

is not actually going to be restful, right? And

so making sure that you know what will work for

you. The other thing that you had mentioned earlier

in the week, Hugh, was this idea of beginning

and ending your Sabbath really well. Yeah, do

you want to say a little bit more about that?

Yeah, I think... But scheduling it, for one thing,

is the beginning of thinking about it. And then

once you get into it, especially you wake up

in the morning, you say, okay, this is my day

that will be life -giving. I like your term,

life -giving. And so how do I structure my day

so that it is life -giving? So maybe, yes, I

put my phone aside. Or maybe I read a book that

I've been wanting to read for a long time that

I know will pamper my soul, will give me strength,

will be inspirational. And then maybe there's

someone I want to spend time with. And I do that

during. And that's kind of the beginning of thinking

about it. And then kind of going through your

day doing that. And then ending it. I think a

really powerful way for me, and I think for many

people, is ending the Sabbath with. with gratitude,

you know, thanking God for all the good things

that are in your life. And many people don't

realize how many good things are in our lives.

You know, I mean, you asked, I used to do this

exercise in groups and ask people to write down

a list of things that they're grateful for. They

would, you know, they would list 10, 15, 20.

They started out by thinking, oh, I'm not sure

what I'm grateful for. Once you get going. Yeah,

for sure. I think finishing off with gratitude.

Yeah, that's good. Yeah, for sure. So sometimes

Sabbath is not necessarily resting, but at least

at the very least. Doing things that will please

God. Doing things that will please God and that

will bring a sense of peace and comfort to your

soul. Right. Right. And that will look different

for different people. But really, yeah, I think

the phrase I keep going back to is what will

be life giving for me? What will fill me up?

I like that. I like that. Yeah. And that's what

makes a Sabbath. Yeah. Thank you so much, folks,

for unpacking this a little bit with us. Thank

you for tuning in to this week's episode of Trinity

Talks. I hope that you are able. to find things

that are life giving to your soul and make some

really intentional space for that in the week

ahead. And we will see you again next week.