The Comparison Trap | Trinity Sermons

Hello, and welcome to this week's episode of

Trinity Sermons. And happy spring! To mark the

beginning of spring, we're starting a brand new

teaching series called Spring Cleaning, where

over the next three weeks, we're going to clear

out the clutter of comparison, complaining, and

criticism. Today, we're looking at the comparison

trap, that trap that steals our joy and keeps

us looking sideways instead of looking at the

good things that God is doing in our life. Today's

reading is from the Gospel of Matthew, chapters

Matthew 20:1–15

20, verses 1 to 15. For the kingdom of heaven

is like a landowner who went out early in the

morning to hire workers for his vineyard. He

agreed to pay them a denarius for the day and

sent them into his vineyard. About nine in the

morning he went out and saw others standing in

the marketplace doing nothing. He told them,

you also go and work in my vineyard and I will

pay you whatever is right. So they went. He went

out again about noon and about three in the afternoon

and did the same thing. About five in the afternoon,

he went out and found still others standing around.

He asked them, why have you been standing here

all day long doing nothing? Because no one has

hired us, they answered. He said to them, you

also go work in my vineyard. When evening came,

the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman,

call the workers and pay them their wages. beginning

with the last ones hired and going on to the

first. The workers who were hired about five

in the afternoon came and each received a denarius.

From those who came who were hired first, they

expected to receive more. But each of them also

received a denarius. When they received it, they

began to grumble against the landowner. These

who were hired last worked only one hour, they

said, and you have made them equal to us. who

was born the burden of the work and the heat

of the day. But he answered one of them, I am

not being unfair to you, friend. Didn't you agree

to work for a denarius? Take your pay and go.

I want to give the one who was hired last the

same as I gave you. Don't I have the right to

do what I want with my own money? Or are you

envious because I am generous? The word of the

Lord. I'll tell you, it is that time of year.

It is spring cleaning time when we kind of go

through our houses or garages or closets and

see, you know, what needs to go, what needs to

stay. But of course, if we're honest, it's not

just our homes that need a little spring cleaning

from time to time. It's actually our lives that

need that. Our hearts can be cluttered up by

all sorts of junk in there. And, you know, some

of the things we know are there. Other things

are kind of hard to... see right we can look

really put together on the outside but on the

inside things can be a real mess so what we're

going to do is over the next three weeks we're

going to do a little cleaning up and clearing

out of some of the clutter that gets into our

hearts specifically three things we're going

to try to get rid of the comparing to get rid

of the complaining and to get rid of the criticizing

that goes on in here Now, there is a danger to

this kind of a sermon. And the danger is, is

that it turns into one of those sermons that

it's just like, oh, just try harder. Just try

to fix up your own life. Just, you know, try

to make this week better than last week. And

of course, you know, we know that doesn't work,

right? The kind of work that happens in our heart

is not stuff that we can do on our own. Only

God can do that. work. So that's why every week

in this series, we're going to start with a prayer.

This is a prayer that comes from Psalm 139, and

I'm going to read it to you, and then we're going

to read it together. It says, search me, God,

and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious

thoughts. See if there's any offensive way in

me. God is doing the searching here. And lead

me in the way everlasting. Now, when we begin

with a prayer like that, it does two things.

First of all, this is not about behavior modification.

This is about heart transformation. Search me,

God, and know my heart. And secondly, a prayer

like this is inviting God into this kind of work

that needs to happen in our hearts. This is a

God thing. Search me, God. So what I want to

do is invite you and myself to pray this prayer

together today and for the next two weeks so

that this isn't some kind of sermon that's all

based on moralism, but on God doing work in our

lives. Let's pray it together. Search me, God,

and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious

thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in

me and lead me in the way everlasting. Amen.

Now, I really hope that prayer travels with you

for these next three weeks and far beyond. And

we're going to begin. By going through our first

pile and clearing out comparison. You know and

I know that comparison can make a real mess of

our lives. And it does that because it changes

how we see other people. It changes how we see

ourselves. And it even changes, as we'll see

in a moment, how we see God. Now, I've given

you a few little teaching notes that I would

encourage you to follow along and make sure you

get the most out of our time together this morning.

But I want to just start with the story that

Jen read for us a few moments ago. There's a

landowner and he's got some work to do in his

field. And so he goes out to hire a bunch of

hired hands. And he says, guys, I'm going to

pay you a denarius for this work. And that was

a fair and good wage for a day's work. But then

as the day goes on, he goes out to get more workers.

He gets some at 9 a .m., he gets some at noon,

he gets some more workers at 3 p .m., and even

one hour before quitting time, he goes out and

gets some more workers. Well, the end of the

workday comes around, and it's time to gather

everybody together. It's time to pay everyone.

And guess what? Looky, looky. all the workers

end up getting the same denarius, the same wage.

Now you would think that those who agreed to

that wage would be very happy, but actually they're

not. They're not anymore. Because why? Because

they've started to look sideways and they've

seen what the others have also received and they

are not happy about that. This is what people

call the comparison trap. The comparison trap

is this. It's resenting God's goodness to others

while ignoring God's goodness to me. And the

thing about a trap is you often don't know you're

in a trap until it's too late. It doesn't feel

like a trap. It actually just feels like common

sense or it feels like you're just having some

thoughts. I wonder why the owner gave them a

bit more money than me. I wonder why. was so

generous to them my wonder I wonder but pretty

soon those wonderings turn into a trap and all

sorts of bad things then start to happen as a

result and the first thing that happens is that

we lose our joy that's what comparison does it

steals our joy in fact Teddy Roosevelt said that

comparison is the thief of joy and it's true

it's true in this story at the beginning of the

story the workers were happy hey they got hired

all these people were hanging out looking for

work and they got hired yay for us and we're

getting a good wage yay for us out into the field

they went no complaints no issues everyone's

happy but by the end of the day Nobody's happy.

They're all grumbling. They're grumbling. Why?

Where did the joy go? How did the joy disappear?

It disappeared when they started comparing. Suddenly,

what had been enough is now no longer enough.

And again, this isn't so much about them as it

is about us. So let's look inside and say, God,

search me, right? Search me. I even think about

myself. You know, I'm perfectly happy with my

own home until I see my sister's newly renovated

kitchen. Or I'm very happy about a vacation that

I went on until I see pictures that somebody

else posted from their vacation. It is almost

impossible to be grateful on the one hand and

compare on the other hand. Because gratitude

says, hey, look what God has given me. And comparison

is like, well, look what God has given them.

you focus on each of these it kind of grows if

you focus on gratitude then eventually it gratitude

grows but if you focus on comparing your gratitude

shrinks your joy evaporates and it's not because

anything has changed in your life it's just because

you started comparing that's the first thing

the comparison trap does but the second thing

the trap does is it ruins relationships and we

see this pattern all through the bible right

saul and david comparison led to competition

which led to violence or cain and abel right

comparison ultimately leads to murder and why

does that happen it's because when you compare

That other person ceases to be a person and becomes

a competitor, right? You see them now as competition.

In our story, there's no doubt in my mind that

all those workers now... started to have a broken

and ruined relationship with the landowner and

the foreman they don't like them but but now

my hunch is as they look at each other it's probably

also broken the relationships of the whole work

crew because think about it if you were working

all day for a certain amount of money and you're

standing beside the person who worked one hour

and got the same amount of money that i'm sure

there were a few looks I'm sure there was a few

sideways glances and comments under your breath.

Oh, it must be nice. Hmm, interesting, right?

Under the breath comments. But again, it's not

about them. What we want to focus on is ourselves

here. So let's ask, God, search me. Right now,

God, search me. Do I ever struggle with this?

Do I ever find it hard to celebrate someone else's

success? Does it bother me when things are going

well for them? When I see it, say someone else

gets recognized, instead of drawing me closer

to that person, does it push me further away

from them? That's what happens with comparison.

Over time, it erodes our relationships. But thirdly,

the comparison trap distracts us from Jesus.

At the beginning of the story Jesus told, all

right, all the workers' eyes were on the landowner,

on their master. The master was the one who hired

them. The master was the one who called them.

The master was the one who sent them. The master

was the one who made the promise to pay them.

It was all about the master, all eyes on the

master. But by the end of the story, nobody's

looking at the master anymore. Now they're looking

around at each other. They've lost sight. of

the relationship that they had with their boss.

And I know this is a different story, but I think

of, in John's gospel, the story of Mary and Martha.

Maybe you know that one, but Martha cannot focus

on Jesus. Why can't she? Because she's too busy

focusing on her sister and worrying about her.

Lord, don't you care that my sister has left

me to do all this work by myself? She's literally

in the same room as Jesus, but she's not looking

at Jesus. She's looking instead at her sister

Mary. Now again, let's look into our own hearts.

God, search me here. Do I come to church, but

I'm just so distracted by comparing my life to

others? Am I serving or volunteering maybe at

church, but actually I spend all my time... distracted

because I'm wondering why other people aren't

also helping out and serving. Or in worship,

when I'm here and I'm singing, am I paying more

attention to Jesus or am I paying more attention

to the people around me? See, what comparison

does is it creates a distraction and you're no

longer having your eyes fixed on your master,

Jesus. And that brings us to the last thing the

comparison trap will do to us. And I think this

could be the most serious. And that is it starts

to change how we think about God. Starts to change

how we see God, right? It distorts God's character

in our mind. Here's what I mean. At first, in

the very beginning. Everybody thought the landowner

was great, right? He's generous, he's kind, he

hired them, but by the end of the story, now

they're not so sure. Maybe he's not generous.

Maybe he's actually unfair. And this is what

comparison does. It twists how you see God. Because

you used to think that God was a God of grace,

but now it appears that God is a God of inequality?

Or you used to think that God was a God of generosity,

but now it appears God is a God of injustice.

And you start to say things, huh, maybe God is

actually playing favorites. Search your own hearts

on this one, people. Do you ever find yourself

saying, hmm, I think God might be holding out

on me. Or I don't think God is being fair here.

Or I actually question God's goodness. Why would

he do that for them and not for me? Do you see

why this is so serious? So serious, because when

you compare, it's not just affecting your identity,

it's affecting your theology. It's affecting

how you view God. So comparison, what does it

do? It steals joy, ruins relationships, distracts

us from Jesus, and distorts God's character in

our eyes. Now, before we go any further, I just

want to come clean and be honest with you. And

that is to say that I actually struggle a lot

with this myself. And you may not know this about

clergy, but clergy are the worst, the absolute

worst when it comes. to comparing i mean you

put a couple clergy in the room and it is not

long before they're like well how many people

did you have at church on sunday or how many

programs do you have or how many kids do you

have in in your sunday school i know clergy i

guarantee i know clergy that within five minutes

of me striking up a conversation with them they

are going to ask what was what's your average

sunday attendance right and it it's it's just

something that we're really really bad at i want

to tell you Last Sunday was Easter Sunday, and

I left here, I was feeling great. It was on top

of the world. It was so encouraging, all that

we did last Easter Sunday. I was grateful for

what God was doing at Trinity. And then we went

to visit some of our family on my wife's side.

And I have to tell you that there are three or

four clergy in that family on my wife's side.

And so we got there for lunch and one thing leads

to another and we start talking shop. Oh, you

know, how was your Sunday morning? What did you

guys do? How many people were there? Blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah. And pretty sure I could feel

it, folks. I could feel the joy evaporating.

I could feel the distance growing between me

and my in -laws and their families because of

this sense of competition. I'm just being honest.

Competition building up within me. And I could

feel even this breakdown of my picture of God

because now my focus had been pulled away from

all the things that God had done that very morning.

So I just want to let you know, God searched

my heart. on this and god search your heart on

this because if that's what comparison does to

us then we have got to get rid of it now how

do we get rid of it well let's pivot to the cleanup

plan the first way i want to say that we can

get rid of comparison is to guard our gaze, to

watch what we're watching. Comparison does not

just start in the heart. It actually starts with

what we see. And it has always been this way.

You go back to the Garden of Eden. This is how

the very first sin began. It started with what

Eve saw. She saw... of all the different trees

and all the different fruits. She saw this one.

She compared them. She saw this one and it looked

so good. And so that was the one that she had

to have. And as a result, you know what happened.

The joy got sucked out of that situation. Relationships

with God and others were ruined and God's image

was, it was not a good scene. And that's the

way it works. It all starts with seeing. In the

parable, Jesus told it all began with seeing.

right when those who were hired first saw when

they saw what was happening that's when everything

started to fall apart because what goes into

your eyes ends up in your heart And we have to

acknowledge this. I'm going to take a minute

just to point this out. That we live in a time

and a place right now where we are constantly

seeing things that are twisting and cluttering

up our hearts, right? Every time you open up

your phone, you're stepping into a comparison

environment. You're seeing other people's homes,

other people's vacations, other people's families,

other people's successes, other people's perfect

moments. And we know they're not really perfect

moments. We know that they've used a filter and

it's cured. and it's edited. I mean, nobody ever

posts a picture of like their worst day. Hey,

here's a picture of my kids melting down in the

grocery store. Or, you know, here's me fighting

with my spouse, right? No, it's here's me. Here's

my best moments of my life. And we compare our

ordinary life with these curated best moments

of their life. And it kills us inside. it does

there is actually you probably heard about this

a couple weeks a court case right meta instagram

snapchat were found guilty they're probably going

to overturn this because they got the money but

they're found guilty of ruining people's lives

often ruining teenagers lives and it's not Because

of screen time. I mean, that's bad. It's really

because of comparison time. It's comparison exposure.

And one witness in the case actually said that

the problem was that she was continuously comparing

herself to others and she used beauty filters

to enhance her appearance. End quote. This is,

the more that we stare at that thing, the more

we passively scroll through that thing. we are

just sucked into the comparison vortex. Proverbs

4 says, above all else, guard your heart. Everything

flows from there. And one of the primary ways

we have to guard our heart is by guarding our

gaze. And that might mean definitely limiting

the amount of time you spend on these platforms.

It might mean offloading these apps once and

for all, like not just for a week, but taking

a permanent break. Maybe it means unfollowing

some of those... you know, whatever, the accounts

that are constantly triggering you on this, but

guarding our gaze. That has got to be step one

in beating comparison, the cleanup plan. But

step two, this is a tough one, but I think what

we need to do is start celebrating others. It

sounds easy, but I think it's the hardest of

them all because our instinct when we compare

is always to not celebrate, it's to compete.

But the Bible has a completely different idea

for us. Paul says, rejoice with those who rejoice.

Rejoice with that coworker who got the promotion

even though you were secretly hoping it might

go to you. Rejoice with someone who announces

an engagement even though you're still waiting

for that moment. Rejoice when your classmates

gets the award and you don't. And even as I'm

saying this, I know what I'm saying is super,

super, super hard. But just imagine in our story

what would have happened if instead of those

workers, of grumbling and disagreeing. If they

had looked at the others who were treated so

generously and they said, wow, gosh, man, good

for you. I'm happy for you. God is so generous.

Look how generous he is. Comparison always says,

oh, why them and why not me? But celebration

says, thank you, God. Thank you for what you're

doing in their life. right celebrating others

is actually a sure way to break the power of

comparison because what are you really celebrating

you're actually celebrating what god is doing

in the life of that person and therefore you're

aligning your own heart with god's heart and

that's a great way to clean up comparison so

why not tell someone this week that you are genuinely

happy for them Pray a blessing over someone who's

just had a success of some sort. Thank God out

loud for what he's doing in their life. And I

know, do it even if you're not feeling it just

yet. Maybe that will push you past the line,

okay? That's our cleanup plan. The third part

of our cleanup plan isn't just to guard our gaze

and celebrate others, but to be grateful for

what we have. See, comparison always shifts your

focus from what God has given you to what God

has given someone else. So the antidote seems

quite simple. Let's just be more grateful for

the things God has given us. Paul writes, isn't

everything you have and everything you are sheer

gifts from God? So what's the point of all this

comparing and competing? You already have everything

you need. In other words, Everything you have

is a gift. Your life, your abilities, your opportunities,

your relationships. You didn't earn any of it.

It was all given to you. So be grateful for that.

Those first workers, they received a good wage.

But it was the comparison that made them ungrateful.

And we do this. I know. We all do this. We pray

for a job, but then we resent the job. Or we

pray for a relationship, but then when we get

the relationship, we take the relationship for

granted. The Bible says it is just better to

be satisfied with what you have than to be always

wanting something else. Gratitude, it might look

like you starting your day with thanksgiving,

the first words out of your mouth, or ending

your day. Maybe you've got a journal and you

jot down some things throughout that day that

you're particularly grateful for, right? Comparison

says, hey, look at all the things you don't have.

But gratitude says, look at what God has already

given me. Whichever voice you listen to is going

to shape your heart. Okay, the fourth part of

our cleanup plan is to trust. To trust God when

life seems unfair. When we see others getting

something and we are not, there's something in

us that says that's not fair. God, you made a

mistake. God, you screwed up here. God, you didn't

divide things up properly. God, what's going

on, right? And that's what happens in our story.

They're complaining. They're saying, hey, these

guys were only hired one hour. God, you've made

a mistake. You can hear it in their voice. It's

not just about comparison. This is about protest,

right? They're saying, it's not fair. You made

a mistake. You need to rethink this, God. But

the landowner says, no, no, I'm not being unfair.

I'm not being unfair. I know what I'm doing.

I know what I'm, you may not know what I'm doing,

but I know what I'm doing. So let's be honest.

Do I trust God even when it looks like his plan

for somebody else is better than his plan for

me? Do I trust that he actually knows what he

is doing even when it doesn't feel like it? You

know, Isaiah says, My thoughts are not your thoughts.

Neither are my ways your ways, declares the Lord.

So clearing out comparison means choosing to

trust God's goodness, even if we don't understand

it, even if it doesn't seem to make sense, even

if it doesn't seem fair. It might mean praying,

God, I don't understand this. It doesn't seem

right to me, but God, I actually know you've

got a bigger view, and I trust that you are good.

And that brings us to the final part of our cleanup

plan. And that is to keep focused on God's plan

for you. Comparison. Right it always wants to

pull you out of your lane It's like you're driving

down the road and if you're looking straight

ahead of you you're fine But if you start looking

at the cars over there pretty soon you're drifting

out of your lane and you're in their lane and

now you're actually Following them and you're

not actually paying attention to where it is.

You're supposed to be going Right? All the workers

in this story were called into the vineyard.

They were all given a job. They all had a purpose.

They all had a part to play. But by the end of

the day, everybody was focused on everybody else's

work. Well, I got a lot. What did you get? Well,

I got a little. What did you get? Right? And

God is like, everybody, take your pay. You, you

got something. You did something. Take it and

go. Stay focused on what it is I've given to

you. The Bible says, let us run with perseverance

the race marked out for, and say it with me,

us, right? Not the race marked out for someone

else. God has given you a race. God has given

you gifts and opportunity and a calling. And

if you compare all the time, you are going to

abandon your assignment. Right? God isn't messing

around with your life. The psalmist says, all

the days ordained for me were written in your

book, God, before one of them came to be. God's

got a plan for your life. He's got specific days.

He's got specific opportunities, a specific calling.

So why not pray instead, God, what is your plan

for me? Not for them, right? God, what is your

plan for me? Your purpose for me? Where are you

calling me? The most freeing thing that we could

do is to stop trying to live someone else's life

and start faithfully living the one that God

has given us. So that's the cleanup plan, right?

Guard your gaze, celebrate others, practice gratitude,

trust God, and stay in your lane. Stay focused

on God's plan for you. But I want to end, if

you don't mind, I just want to share my favorite

part of this whole story. My favorite verse is

right here in verse 12. The workers say to God,

wait a second, God, you've made them equal to

us. And God, I think, essentially says, yeah,

I kind of did. And that's the point. The kingdom

of God is not built on... fairness and everyone

kind of equal. It's built on grace. Nobody stands

before God and says, I worked harder. I did more.

I deserve a bigger reward from you, God. Because

everything we receive from God is a gift. And

at the cross, there's no first place Christians,

second place Christians, third place Christians,

right? There's just people. People who have received

mercy. And yeah, some people come early and some

people come late. Some people have been coming

to church for decades and others are here for

the first time today. But guess what? At the

cross, we all receive the same grace. You don't

have to compare. You don't have to compete because

nobody earns God's love. It's just given to all

of us. Nobody gets what they deserve. We all

get God's grace and mercy for free. So, God,

search me and know my heart. Test me and know

my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive

way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.

Amen. Thanks for tuning in to this week's episode

of Trinity Sermons. This week's sermon was recorded

at Trinity Church Streetsville in Mississauga,

Ontario on April 12th, 2026.