The Secret to Modern Parenting | Trinity Talks Podcast

Hello, everyone, and welcome to this week's episode

of Trinity Talks. My name is Kyla, and I am sitting

down here with two folks who are part of our

Trinity family, who both just happen to be moms.

And we're going to talk a little bit about what

that's like being a mom of young kids and this

young family sort of ministry that's been starting

here at Trinity. So thank you so much for joining

me, ladies. Thanks for having us. Thanks for

having us. Maybe I'll get you to start by doing

a little bit of an introduction, say a little

bit about yourself, about your family. Do you

want to get us started? Hi, I'm Travis. My husband,

Eric, is also here. Not with us right now, but

he's out there with our two twins who are probably

running all around the coffee room. We also have

a gerbil and a new fish named Pretty Fish Princess,

which is the kind of name that you get when you

let your four year old name a fish. OK, but that

is like majestic. Yes. Yeah, that's lovely. That's

us. What color is pretty? Oh, she's pink. She's

a pink betta fish. Yeah, with a unicorn and a

rainbow tank. OK, this is awesome. I love that

so much. OK. And yeah, go ahead. My name is Amy.

My husband is Luke, who's also, I'm sure, running

after all the children. And my son is Callahan

or also be called Callie. OK. Yeah. Yeah. Cool.

Well, so I know you folks have been sort of integral

in starting this young families ministry here

at Trinity. So maybe you can just share a little

bit about like what sort of prompted you to want

to do that? Like, what's what's the need or the

desire there? I think it's Travis and I, we would

get our kids together. My son is three and a

half. The twins are four turning five soon and.

We just felt that need for community. We'd always

see parents on a Sunday morning We kind of see

them here and there and it's kind of like the

kids run around they have a great time So we

thought why not bring all the families and the

kids together sure Yeah for sure and I think

especially on Sundays like we all have our hands

so full you know there's cookies there's running

around and so sugar we don't always get the opportunity

to connect we can see each other we wave at each

other but we don't always get that chance to

really talk and spend some time and get to know

each other as people and so that was I think

another reason we wanted to make something a

little bit more. like separate just for us that

that we could get to know each other and and

chat and kids can get to know each other too.

Sure. Yeah. So what what does this ministry sort

of look like right now? What have you folks been

up to? Well, last month we just started, we're

just bringing the families together on a Saturday

here at the church and just letting the kids

kind of go free. It's nice for us because they're

contained and they're comfortable in the space

too. So that makes sense. And the parents, we

just had a great time. We were just able to chat

because the kids all just played in. Right. It

was a great time. It was awesome. We had snacks.

We had a bouncy castle. We had we had all kind

of coloring and kids of all ages, which was really

cool, too. We had some some really little ones

and then some older ones. And then they just

they had a blast. It was it was a crazy time

downstairs. Yeah, like it was a bit of mayhem,

but it was it was good mayhem for sure. Right.

Yeah. OK. Yeah. So you're all sort of like getting

together. There's this opportunity for the kids

to sort of play together. And then, yeah, because

there's like a critical mass. Right. So you don't

need to be like one -on -one with your kids.

So there's a little bit of time for you to sort

of connect and chat and that sort of thing. And

that's kind of the goal is having, otherwise

we're just parenting our kids and this is an

opportunity to keep them contained, but still

get to chat with each other. Yeah, that's awesome.

Yeah. So you started that, you've done one month

so far. And when are you meeting up? So we're

hoping to do the last Saturday of every month.

Maybe you could speak more to that, Travis. Yeah.

So the next one is next Saturday. We're sort

of doing it late afternoon timing to hopefully

work around everybody's nap schedule. But open

to feedback on that. That time seemed to work

really well. So it's just in the church basement.

You just show up. with your kid and and we have

a great time. So, yeah, the next one is next

Saturday. So Saturday, so April 25th. That's

right. Yeah. OK, awesome. So, yeah, this is sort

of the ministry that you guys have been doing

here. But I think, you know, you're also like

in this like really sort of particular stage

of life with your families right now and a stage

that some people have been through. Some people

are in. Some people have never been in. So I

think it would be interesting sort of hear more

about like, yeah, what? this has been like for

you. Yeah, and so as parents of young kids, like

what are some of the things that you find like

really challenging about that? And yeah, how

does that sort of connect with church or with

faith? I would say just time, lack of time and

lack of sleep are probably my two biggest challenges.

Sure. It's really hard to connect with people.

It's really hard to. do a lot of other things

that are not solely around your child. And you

could probably see even more to that with two

of them. So I just think that people who have

been through this season probably they recognize

looking back like this. I hear it again and again.

This is a very busy season of life. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, for sure. Something else I've also noticed,

especially as I talk to my mom and, you know,

other folks who have been through this already,

maybe 10, 20 years ago. Parents now I feel like

we have a lot of online community. And so there's

a lot of information. There's a lot of opinions.

There's a lot of pressure, but not a lot of physical

spaces for us to kind of come together and actually

see other parents parenting. I think we often

get that highlight reel on Instagram and it's

really easy to be very hard on yourself and think,

oh my gosh, I'm not taking them to the zoo every

weekend and I'm not able to produce this like

handmade birth. day party and all these things

that you see on your feed. But then when you

actually get in a room with other parents and

they also haven't washed their hair and they

also didn't sleep last night, it's like, okay,

I'm fine and I'm doing all right. So I think

to the point about the Young Families Ministry,

it's so important for us to physically come together

just because I feel like parenting right now

is in very odd. Space sure just isn't that opportunity.

It's true. Yeah, like growing up. We were always

with My brother's friends and their parents and

we had a community of people and I think that's

what we're looking to start like there's nothing

better than Being able to co -parent with your

friends Yeah, like it's not just you and your

kid and your husband like bringing all the kids

together and being able You know chat with friends

and just it's more fun for everybody. I think

sure. Yeah. Yeah, and I think it's nice to you

know you want your kids to be safe of course

but you also want them to have other influences

other than just you right like you want them

to be hearing other people's perspectives and

open to what other families are doing and so

this is kind of a nice safe way to do that where

we're all sort of like -minded and you know we

can all come together feel comfortable um just

letting them let them loose sure yeah yeah for

sure yeah so then like How does that intersect

with like being part of a church community? Like,

do you feel like this is a space that like helps

you to do that? Well, are there things that like

the church can be doing to like help you do that

better? I just think that this church has been

great with just, you know, the kids are running

around and we trap us for having this conversation

like we are trying our best and people are very

gracious with our kids and loving with our kids.

Yeah. Even now, Sue just went and grabbed my

son's favorite cookie because it wasn't on the

plate for him. Like just things like that, which

make our children feel loved and supported here.

Sure. I think is I've seen it. So it's been it's

been really great. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, 100%. I

think just having, again, like, you know, when

you're in a church community, there's all ages

and stages, right? And so there are a lot of

people here who have done it. You know, it's

been nice. There are a few other moms of twins

who have gone through the whole phase, and it's

just nice to see that they survived and to talk

to them about, like, how they did it and be able

to sort of get that advice sometimes. And yeah,

definitely feeling that love and support on Sunday

morning. Like, I never feel you know, if we're

having a little bit of a moment, I never feel

like we're getting side eyes or anything like

that. I think that's so important that, you know,

this is a space for everybody. And it's, you

know, that includes the two year old who didn't

get a good sleep. Yeah. Yeah. And the mom of

the two year old has gotten even worse. Yes,

for sure. So on the flip side, what is really

joyful or encouraging for you about being a parent

of toddlers? Are there moments where you're like,

oh, this is actually worth it? Absolutely. It's

actually funny. I saw something the other day

and it said, It's so difficult to describe the

experience of parenting, especially to folks

who haven't had kids, because it is so easy to

describe the hard parts like we've done. You

can easily put into words and everyone can kind

of relate to what it feels like to have not had

a lot of sleep or to be a little bit overstimulated

with noise. the great parts are so hard to describe.

You know, it's so impossible to put words to

that feeling when, you know, you've been out

for a little bit on an errand and you come home

and your kid just like runs to you with their

arms open, like mommy's home, you know, like

that is impossible to put into words. And so

as much as I think it sounds like, you know,

a lot of times parents are like, ah, there's

so much bad going on. I think it's just because

it's so hard. to articulate how amazing it is

and how much it fills your heart when those moments

happen. Right. Because it's not like feeling

that you get. It's not like, oh, this thing happened

that was cool. Like sometimes maybe. But yeah,

it's that feeling. And there's nothing like it.

There's really just nothing like it. Yeah. Yeah.

Especially like the toddler age, you get to see

like their personalities develop, right? And

just like. They're starting to do things like

my son's just like learning to ride his bike

and like just seeing those moments and feeling

so proud. And yeah, yeah, you can't really describe

that. You're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's it's

kind of magical. And to see how they like just

absorb stuff, you know, you'll you'll be talking

to them and you're like, oh, they don't they

don't really listen to me. Right. And then then

you'll hear them say exactly the same thing that

you told them last week to like their friend

at school or their sibling. And so it's like,

oh, wow. OK. It's getting in there and, you know,

they're they're growing and they're listening,

but, you know, they just have to take their time

with it. But that's really cool. Oh, they're

hilarious. They're so funny. No filter. They

just they just say the best things. I just find

I I do laugh a lot. OK, yes. Yeah, I have a notes

app with with all the funny quotes and we do

on their birthday every year. We do a fill in

the blank. OK, people try to guess like what

was the ridiculous thing they say. Yeah, it's

it's a good idea. Yes, that sounds lovely. Oh

man, do we have any funny quotes or funny stories

that we want to share at this moment? You're

like, ah, this, my kid did this this week and

it was hilarious. I have one, I can't share it,

but there's, he just does, he's in the washing

humor phase right now. Yeah, it just brings out

my like inner child, I guess. Like, I just am

dying when he says some of the things he says,

especially like around my parents who are more

proper. That's the best. Yeah, that always gives

me a good laugh. So, yeah, I know he's that's

where we're that's where we're at. Yeah, it's

a real stage. Yes, it is. And you think you can

avoid it and you think it's not going to happen

to you. And then and then it does. Yeah. Yes.

Yeah, we were going over there is. a child in

the class who was nicknaming everybody and my

kids don't like to be nicknamed and so I was

like oh no I've got nicknames for you so I'm

gonna go through them and yeah you know check

that they're all okay and so he asked my son

you know can I still call you buddy and he looks

me in the eyes he says you can call me sir wow

okay then I don't think he knew why that was

so funny but like And so now I call him sir and

he hates it. That is so funny. Yeah. Oh man.

They just don't understand sometimes the like

associations of words, right? And so they say

things. All right. That's something. That is

really good. That's my favorite one lately. That

is a good one. Yeah. Yes. You're so funny. Yeah,

and I think like you were talking about, you

know, getting to see kids like develop in their

personality. And so like over the past year,

my partner's niece is now like just over two.

Yeah. And like to see her like developing language

and being like, whoa, I'm like having a conversation

with you. Like you're a real person. You're a

real person with ideas and feelings. Yeah, it's

so cool. Yeah, it's a really cool thing to see

for sure. Yeah. Yeah. So when you think about,

you know, other other folks, other at church

or in your family or in your life, like, what

are some ways that people can be helpful or supportive

for parents of young kids? I'd say listen first

and maybe sometimes restrain the urge to give

advice. Yeah, I think it's so important to understand

where somebody is at. first before you sort of

embark on that. I know as a twin parent, I've

gotten a lot of advice that is simply impossible

to implement because there were two of them.

And, you know, you just can't rock two to sleep

at the same time, for instance. Yeah. And often

we've heard it, right. It's just for whatever

reason. Yeah. Things have fallen off the track.

You know, either it's lack of sleep or too much

going on or somebody got sick or whatever. So

I would just say, like, I think just being there

and and saying I hear you and you know is there

anything I can do or do you need help is super

helpful rather than sort of assuming that that

you know because I think you know every parent

once they get through certain stages I think

they they write their own little handbook for

their kids at that age. But what I've experienced

is that the handbook is not transferable. It

doesn't necessarily, you know, apply to another

child. And so, yeah, I would just say just being

there and being a friend and being like an adult

to like, you know, realizing that parents are

still adults and still want to have like an adult

conversation. Sure. Not just about the kids.

We love talking about our kids, but we also love

to, you know, just connect as people to. Yeah,

for sure. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. I would agree

with that. I would agree. Yeah, a lot of advice

and we, as you said, we see it on social media

too, right? We're constantly bombarded with advice

from like the teachers, from other parents, from

our parents. Yeah, so I would agree. Just listen

and try and hold in the advice because sometimes

we just need to vent. Really we do. And sometimes,

you know, we want, we also just, I like to see

when other people love my kid and just interact

with them. I think that's really special to me.

And so I think that... just have been part of

those good moments as well as also great. Yeah,

yeah, for sure. Yeah. And that like, yeah, I

think I think like when you talk about, you know,

like co -parenting with your friends, like those

other adults who like love on your kid. Right.

Like it's it is that community piece that I think

is is really important and helpful. Yeah. You

see it missing. Like you see it missing with

other like with his schoolmates and like other

friends. You see that kind of in our society.

It's really it's not the same as it was with

just, I guess, the age we live in. And I think

it's so important to the kids. Yeah, for sure.

Are there ways that you think like being a parent

has like challenged your faith or your understanding

of God in some way or like been helpful in that

journey? It kind of makes you go back to the

beginning. I've been starting the explanation

with my kids now in a more concrete way of, why

are we coming to church? What does it mean when

we're asked to pray? What should we be doing

during that time? And it really does make you

kind of go through it all. from like a five -year

-old level, which I think is kind of helpful.

And then they ask sometimes really insightful

questions to your point, like where they just

kind of come up with these things and you're

like, wow, okay, I have to like take a second

and think about that. And so that's been kind

of cool to sort of revisit the basics. Yeah,

that's how it's been for us so far. Yeah, yeah.

I think that and like seeing, you get to see

kind of Jesus again through a child's eyes. Like

the other night Callihan was just like, I want

to love everyone because Jesus loves everyone.

And just like, yeah, yeah, Jesus loves me so

much and he's proud of me and like he'll say

things like that. And I'm like, I don't know

if I've ever said like those exact words to you.

So it's interesting. It's not just like repeating

what I say to him. Right. So it's kind of, yeah,

like having that child's eye view that we used

to have or I used to have growing up, growing

up in the church that. Yeah, of who Jesus is.

It's really cool to see. It's just it's not tainted.

It's not, you know, influenced by other things

at this point. So, yeah. Yeah. And experiencing

them hearing the stories for the first time is

kind of cool, too. Like, I think feel like my

kids for the first time really. took in Easter

this year. I got a lot of questions about a lot

of things. But just, you know, of course we hear

it every year, right? And so for us, it's almost

routine. And so to see like that sort of shock,

right? All these things that happened and then

what happened next and then who did that? And

why did they do that? It's kind of interesting

to see something that we just take as, you know,

part of the routine. having like groundbreaking

for them. Yeah, kind of cool. Yeah, cuz it's

like, like kids. They like haven't heard the

story maybe as many times, but like even they

They like ask questions about it because they're

so used to storytelling, I think, right? Like

we read kids these books and they're like, OK,

this happened and this happened in this person.

And then when we like go back to the Bible, we

don't necessarily tell those stories in the same

way to adults. But then when we tell them to

kids, it's like, oh, actually, let's connect

all the dots again. Yeah. Yeah, that's so cool.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah So if folks are sort of listening

and thinking okay, this sounds really cool You

guys sound like cool people want to hang out

with you and your kids What are some ways that

folks can learn more about the young families

ministry here at Trinity? Well, you can always

approach us on a Sunday morning. We're happy

to chat Both our husbands as well. Eric and Luke

are happy to chat I guess email the church too,

and they've been passing along all the questions

to you guys, to you and Luke specifically, so.

Yeah, and really, there's no barrier to entry,

you just show up. Great. Show up at the church,

I think it's at four o 'clock on Saturday. Yeah.

And we'll be here and we'll have stuff going

on and it'd be great, great to connect, especially

we both go to the morning service and so it's

been really nice to connect with some folks who

we don't usually see who go to the later service.

Yeah. But yeah, feel free to join us. And hopefully

we'll have some more different kinds of things

going on soon once we sort of get established.

Yeah. Yeah. Sounds great. OK, cool. Yeah. Anything

else you folks wanted to share as we sort of

end off? You think about, you know, parenting

and life and parenting and life? No, we're just

going on with our busy Sunday. It's totally fair.

Just totally fair. Yeah. Really appreciative

that. We've been able to start this group. I

think, yeah, we've there's a lot of young families

here. So it's been so nice. And so just really

thankful to everybody who supported this. and

help us make it happen. Yeah, agreed. Yes. Well,

thank you so much for joining me, folks. And

thank you for tuning in to this week's episode

of Trinity Talks. Hopefully, whether you are

a parent of young kids looking for some community,

you can find that here or find that in the spaces

where you find yourself. And if you know parents

of young kids, I just hope that this has also

been an encouragement to you that you can find

some ways to continue pouring into them and helping

them build up a community that raises our kids

well. And we'll see you again next week. Bye.