GODLY PRINCIPLES OF FAMILY RELATIONSHIP

Lord Jesus, May our lives indeed be a point of

your glory. May our lives honor you day by day.

May we continue to live in the shadow of your love.

As a judge, as individuals, as a family. We ask,

Oh God, that the radiation of your light we continually

be pronounced in our lives. In the name of Jesus, Lord,

let your word come with power again this morning, that

you we heal hearts that are broken, that you touch

that are in this array.

That you will make.

Our minds be inclined onto your word, Lady of your revelation,

Thank you, Lord Jesus.

For Jesus' mighty name, we pray, Amen. Amen.

I want to thank God for the second Sunday in

the month of September twenty twenty four. It is exactly

ten o'clock by by time here and five minutes into

the time there.

Thank you, choirs. Homes are in trouble.

The devil seem to be having a few days in

lives in homes.

And it seems as if there is no solution to

what is happily.

And for almost anywhere you turn to there is trouble

in homes. Is there any solution for our homes that

are tearing our pats today. And you hear from many puppets,

many starts of God. Many have come up to say

that the idea of divorce is not really serious. But

whether we like it or not, in the Book of Malachi,

God says, I hate divorce. It doesn't matter what you think,

it doesn't matter your understanding of that text.

But you will agree with me.

That in our society today, many husbands and wives are

actually living as mates, as housemates. Yet you see them,

they will even dressed and wear the same kind of clothes,

and they will do and call and go out. But

if you search very deeply, you will know that there

is a lot of trouble in such owns. Is there

a solution, Yes, there is a solution, and the only

solution we have can only be from the Manua of

the one who created marriage. Why is there divorce today?

It is simply because we get it wrong from the beginning.

In my class yesterday there was a discussion that popped up,

and part of the discussion was that today, even right

here in the church, there is a challenge of many

of our young ladies, eh that are of marriageable age

not getting married we often see that. We often see that,

and the conclusion that we have arrived at is that

there are more ladies.

Than men. Is that not? Is that not right?

Even right here inside this place and anywhere you go

at all, you see that there are usually more ladies

than you will have men. But one minister of the

Girlspeel did is a research and part of the research

came up to say that in the hospital the number

of children male children that survive are lower than that

of female. Another one is that there are more men

in canceration, h in prisy self waiting waiting for not

just trial, some of them are waiting for their death,

but by God's creation, divine creation right from the beginning,

there is a man and a woman for everyone like that,

that's where God has created it. But you know there

are some ladies right even in the church, that their

husband that God has created for them is actually in

the prisy are waiting death. It is a function of

our society.

Homes are failing.

Because individuals are failing when we have not gotten the

will of God right about who that we are in

connection way, there is no way we will not miss

out on the difine purpose of God and so we

resort to managing and patching up. Let's just go on,

Let's just go on. Nobody cares about the will of

God anymore because, after all, others are doing it and

they can gods God free. But we have failed to

understand that there are consequences to making errors in our voices,

especially a future partner.

And whether you like it or not.

Even in our African cultural setting, before the Western world,

more people came to give us.

Their own culture. Our culture was not so bad.

And that's why when you place certain African cultural concept

along the line of the Bible, except that there is

no Jesus in our culture.

This money.

I want to speak with us briefly on godly principles

for family relationships. Godly principles for family relationships? How should

their father be a how should their mother behave? How

should children behave? In their homes?

Before you in this said that, oh this is a

godly home. Everybody loves that sweet home.

You want to look at a home and say, oh,

I wish my family were to be like this. But

there's a place where we got it wrong. And when

we have gotten it wrong, is there a way out? Yes,

there's a way out, and the way out is to

go back to the owner's manual. Don't because you want

to repair a mesodist BNZ and you pick on their

manual to check out a messages operates. No, that will

be wrong, and that is what many are doing. Let

us go to the Book of Colossians chapter three, and

I will take eighteen to twenty one Colossians chapter three,

eighteen to twenty one. Colossians Chapter three, eighteen to twenty one.

Colosians Chapter three, eighteen to twenty one. Wives, submit to

your husbands as is fitting in the Lord.

Husbands. Love your wife's and do not be hush with them.

Children, obey your parents in everything for.

These pleases the Lord. Fathers.

Do not embitter your children or they will become discouraged.

That the Lord had it many to his word in

our hearts in Jesus name.

Very many times you see a lot of women, you know,

even men, looking answer looking beautiful, but something so many

things are going wrong, even right here.

In our church.

A lot of homes are not in good shape. And

I want to thank God for what God has enabled

the MMU to organize a couple's hang out. Yes, it

is not the best way that we would have loved

to do it, but we hope that we.

Have started it and will continue to step into it.

We have had one d year and the second one

is going to be today, and we're trusting God.

We want a better.

Environment to be able to do it, but we trust

God that sometime in the future we'll be able to

have a better environment, we'll really be able to have

couples angers. But for now, let's do it inside the choice.

So we're doing it inside the church again today. But

look at this passage and let's pick out a few

things from there. The passage provides practical instructions for maintaining

a christ centered family. Its stresses joined submission, joined love,

joined obedience, and encouragements among the members of the family.

The section begins with wives to husbands, to children, and

to furthers. So there's a wife to husband relationship, husband

to wife relationship, children to parents relationship, and parents to

children relationship all captured in this But the setting that

we have in these passage, Collosians is one of the

prison epistles that Paul wrote, and the essence of writing

this book is to address first teachings. There were a

lot of teachings that were going on just like in

Oura days, and so he wanted to encourage believers to

live by the new identity in Christ. What this supposed

to me is that now that you have become Christians,

you are coming from a background, and so what people

were doing in their old life, they are bringing it

into the new life in Christ. And that is what

is also happening even marital relationship. And so Paul needed

to write to the people. But at this point in

time it wasn't prison. So in chapter three of the

Book of Colosians, Paul outlines the characteristics of the new

life in Christ, which impacts every aspect of life, and

specifically in this place where we are putting our searchlights,

it is on family relationship. And the essence of this

is just to discover these specific roles. What are the

roles and responsibilities of every member of the family. And

so Paul outlines for wives, for husbands, for children, and

parents and out these roles contribute to a godly family system.

And so we cannot really have a perfect family unless

we follow the instruction of the world of God. So

investi eating let's begin investiating. Paul began by saying why,

I don't know the reason why Paul had to start

with wife, but he started with wife. And there are

so many schools of thoughts about the person of Paul himself.

Some have said that he did not he was not married,

because at a point in time he was addressing Peter,

he said that we are not a me. We should

have been like some of the apostles who have wives.

It's not that we don't want to. But there are

all those school of thoughts who suggests, we suggest that

for anybody to be a pharisee, because you know that

Paul when he was sould, he was a pharisee. Right,

he studied under Gamalet, so he was a pharisee. And

for a person be a phariseee, it is understood that

such a person must be married. So it is possible

that he was married. But those areas of his life.

The Bible did not give us any understanding about that.

But that's not where we want to talk about now.

But we see him speaking about marital relationship, and the

first instruction that was going to pass was to wives,

and he said wives, he said, submission as fitting in

the Lord, submit to your husbands as is fitting in

the Lord.

Two important things there, the word submits.

And then as it's fitting in the Lord, two dimensions there.

So the word submits means.

To arrange in order or to arrange under all. Right,

so you have something at the top, you bring the

next one here. Or it simply means to willingly yield yourself.

To someone. That's what it means to submit.

You're willingly yielding yourself to someone's authority. So poly say, wives,

be willing to surrender yourself and listen. This is one

of the reasons why we have issues in marriage today because.

Wives are not willing to surrender, to yield.

To their husband's authority. There are so many factors that

me bring that about. So this reflects a voluntary attitude

of giving. You are corporating and assuming responsibility under the

leadership of the husband. Now, let's understand this, this submission

we are talking about, it is not a sign of inferiority.

It is not a sign that this one I am

better than you. No, that's not what it means. That's

not what it means. And let's place it. This week,

we have the President of Nigeria. He has been given

the mandate to be the president of Nigeria. That doesn't

make him better than the rest of us, right, No,

he's not. I'm sure if we are going to if

we are going to say by by qualifications, you'll probably

have many who are far better. And that is the

same thing that is applicable in marital relationship. Paul is

not saying that your wife is inferior to the husband,

but obedience and trust in the Lord's design for the family.

It is an understanding of obedience and trust in the

Lord's design for family. That's the way God has created it.

And back in the Guardian of Eden, man was created

first and the fact it was the man who identified

the bone of his own boone. So it is not

a matter of superiority. So what are we saying. Submission

is fitting in the Lord? Mainly it aligns with God

ordained other for the family. So where a woman wants

to take the earth, there's going to be issued, there's

going to be issued. It is like the head and

the neck. So the woman is the neck, eh and

the man is the head. So the day the woman

says man, because the head is the one that is

holding the head to be able to remain stable and

then the head say I'm going out of this place.

I want to come up here. Something is happening. It

is not possible.

So what part is saying is that it's you honor

God and reflect Christ example of submission to the Father.

That's why he said as is fitting in the Lord.

Book of Philippias says that Jesus humble himself even to

the death on the cross. He left his glory back

there in heaven, and he came to this world in submission.

And that's why the Bible say us is in the Lord.

So in other worlds, as a wife, do it as

Christ has done it God. So wives are called to

submit out of respect for their husbands, to bring about

harmony and love in the family. Wives submit, wives submit.

That's what we see in verse eighteen. Let's go to

verse nineteen. That's the second part. He talks about husband

love without ashness, husbands love without ashness.

Vers nineteen. Husbands love your wife's and do not be

harsh with them.

Now, if you look at the verse eighteen and vest nineteen,

he talks about wives to husbands. Eh, then husband to wife.

There's a difference so between somebody that you're just living

together inside the same house.

Even in our African culture.

Eh, a husband is a man who has paid dowry

over a woman, that is the husband.

If that man has not paid dow or you is

not your husband.

Or you're just managing together and just trying to to

procreate together. That's what you're just doing. You know, you're

just living together by God's design. You're not married. You're

not married, paid the dowry. You don't need to come

and called. Let's not deceive ourselves. We have talked about

this many times. Don't go and call the entire Tashur

community and say come, I'm getting married to my wife today.

You don't need that. What you need is gan paid

the dowry. You can come into the church even on Wednesday.

Eh.

We will pronounce married, blessing and will continue with your

life and the church recognizes you. But you see, when

many of these things fail. Back in the days, I

know that many of our married people here didn't do.

What we call marriage. Pre married, I can't sell it

all right.

So I was talking with some of our people in

the course of the week, and the understanding I got

from them actually painted my heart. I said, Wow, what

I'm understanding, which is different from what God actually intends

marriage to be. Why the wife is just patching up,

just patching up, She's just patching up.

Instead of enjoying. The woman is enduring. And the cause said,

you know, it goes the other way around too.

We are some men are really enjoying their wives rather

than enjoying their wives. If that enjoyment must be wives

must take their position by submission, and husband must take

your position by loving without being harsh. What does that

pass party? Verse nineteen Osbard Love your wives and do

not be harsh with them.

So the word.

Love, of course in this place. You know, I've always

said the right way to understand the Bible. Yeah, it

is love, and in many of our languages it is

the same that you call love. That's what is repeated

like that everywhere in the Bible. But if you go

to the Greek, this is actually aga party, which means

it has to be sacrificial, it has to be unconditional love, modeled,

modeled after Christ's love for the church. Get this understanding.

When Paul was writing and talking to the wives, he said,

do it as he is fitting in the Lord.

So as Jesus submitted himself to God. So submit now.

In the case of the husband, he said, love, I

got paid tay, meaning.

That you do it unconditionally.

As Jesus, again taking the position of Jesus, as Jesus

gave up himself on the cross of covery for the

sake of his church. Men, are you ready to die

for your wife? That's what Jesus did for the church.

If you're not ready to die for your wife, then

you are not your husband Gates. That's what the by saying.

But you know many men are dying for their wives.

That's why you have more widows than we do. That's

not it too.

Do not be hush.

That's the next thing that polic saying in that text.

Do not be hush. What he's saying is that avoid

bitter abusive behavior.

Eh. When you take the woman and you turn now

to punching back, go outside.

Now there are people like yourself that you know you

can really exchange that blow.

Go and do it.

By the time they blow your mouth and blood is

coming out, your brain will reset, and then you know

that that woman is not a punching back.

Do not be harsh.

Husbands must be gentle, understanding and compassionate. And this is

not just about physical thing alone, because there is there

is there is physical assaults, there is emotional assaults, there

is psychological assaults that you make the woman feel as

if she's just no nentity. And that's what Paul is

warning us against this morning. How do we apply this?

Husbands are called to lead their fans with love, with humility,

not with a domineering and a politarian attitude. That is

the way our African culture puts it. Soon after they service,

now you see some women, where are they going to?

They want to go prepare this? They want to go

and prepare this. Where's the man?

Where's the man?

You see, our society is having a lot of problem

because men have failed in their responsibilities. The original design

is that you, as a man, you are the owner

of the house. And in Genesis God just brought that

woman to the man help. That is that women meeting

the need of the man. Originally, you are the owner.

Before the woman came, who was doing everything that was

being done in the house, was cooking for you. Now

that the woman has come, the woman is now a

slave rather than a wife. The woman is now an

housemaid rather than a wife. There's a difference between housemaid

and a wife. It is not for you to be

domino in in your attitude.

To the woman.

Of course, that's what our culture is, right, I know

some culture it is the woman that goes to farm

and farm and does all of those things and held

in the money. The business of the men is just

go to brugle to joint and then drink away their lives.

And then you say there will be progressing that community.

They can never be progressed. They can never be progressed

because the women are getting frustrated, and then they continue

to remain in that place because of my children. You

have to just be patient and just be there, just

be this and the ruman is there and she can

talk where if she talks, she's in trouble and everything.

The family of the husband they will say, you don't

have to do this thing. You are in that place.

You have to save our brother very well, and this one.

And when the woman talks to our own family saying,

even the mother, the mother of the woman, we say,

there's a patched with your daddy too. You have to

patrore a bind that spirit in Jesus name a man

that will not take up is all responsibility.

It's not fit not to be an authoritarian.

The husband must create a safe, not showing environment where

their wives.

Feel cherished expected church.

I'm not very perfect because even this thing I'm saying,

it's not easy, and mister b is it. It's not

very easy. But what the Bible is saying is that

a husband's love should mural Christ's sacrificial love, which builds

trust and unity in marriage. That is the kind of

love that Christ is expected from us. And in verse twenty,

the Bible says, the Bible is not talking to children.

Children obey your parents in everything.

Why because it polices the Lord.

Children obey your parents because the Bible knows that children

will always the disobedience.

What does that Obey means?

Our natural understanding of obedience is come here, or I

go and do this thing, and that is all and

the person respond. But if you go to the Greek

world again, it gives us a deeper meaning into that.

So obey means to listen attentively and then follow the

guidance of instruction. Listen and then follow. For children these days,

they don't want to listen. I want to do it

my own way. I'm going to do it the way

I feel like doing it. That is not plestening to

the Lord. Again, you see Paul is writing again as

it pleases the Lord for wife, as isn't the Lord

for husband in the nature of Christ, for children also,

And this command comes with a clear motivation. It is

listening to the Lord reflecting a child submission to God's

authority through the obedience of the parents. So when you

obey your parents, you listen to them, and you obey children.

What you're simply doing, you're doing it too the Lord.

That's what by we say.

So we have talked about wife's submitting, we have talked

about husband and loving, and we have talked about children obeying.

How do we expect the children to be?

Children are encouraged to see obedience to their parents as

a reflection of their obedience to God. Parents, on the

other hand, they should more than godly behavior that is

worthy of respect and obedience.

Parents.

If you fail in your responsibility, my woman bringing other

men to your marritter home, and then you see your

children doing like that, and then you come and say,

he don't do like that again, this one, this wont

it is bad?

Ware? Learn now look at that word.

Children, obey your parents in everything as this for this

places the Lord.

And the Bibele is even saying everything everything. But where

the issue, where we have issue is when.

That parent has failed in the responsibility, and such a

parent is not living a respectful life. That parent is

living a wayward life. That parent is living an undodly life.

And the behavior is that of like like like like like, and.

Then you expect your children to be you.

So parents are to make the environment where their children

can understand the importance of obedience and respect will help

them develop a heart that.

Is responsive to God.

So on the part of parents, we must create that environment,

and on the part of the children, we must obey

our parents. And that's why this letter that Paul is

writing is writing to Christians. Let's not forget that it's

writing to Christians. Whether the Christian does not mean that

sometimes all nature can play out, and that's why the

Bible is giving us disunderstanding. Also, if you go to

verse twenty one, now the Bible is talking about fathers

encouragement over discouragements. Fathers encouragement over discouragements. Fathers, do not

embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. What do

not embitter means is to avoid actions or words that

we provoke or frustrate children and that would make them

to lose motivation. Now the Bible is not saying we

should not discipline, no discipline. Then the Bible is not

against discipline of children. So Paul is saying that the

father's role is not charging and encouraging rather than criticizing

or actually discipline the child. Discipline, yes, but not Ashley.

Sometimes on fathers we get our parents. So both father

and mother now we get angry and they can talk

anyhow to their children. Mind you, those children are kept

in your core study by the Lord, and you are

going to give accounts to God over them. Many of

us have misled our dren by our attitude, by our words,

by our actions.

And there must be a change.

So fathers and parents in general show him to build

up their children through positive love and understanding. They should

stop all those practices that lead to discouragements, ash criticism.

You know, sometimes you see some women, they will just

talk to you. You will never amount to anything. This

this is your child though their child at they're born,

and you will never amount to anything. God forbid in

Jesus' name. There is need for us to change our

attitude and the way we talk. What is the focus

of this entire passage. The essence of it is to

build a Christ centered family. A Christ centered family, each

family minily member, where each family member plays a unique

role that contributes to the overall health of the family.

Where there is mutual or joint.

Submission, love, obedience, and encouragement that is expected in a

godly home, a family that reflects the character of Christ.

That's what we do when we all play our rooms.

So let me rando.

The passage we have read Collosians chapter three, eighteen to

twenty one. Paul is providing for us a blueprint for

godly family. So we can use this to extray our family.

All right, let's use it to place your family side

by side. All that we're spoken about today. Paul is

saying that they should be joined submission, joint love, joint obedience,

joint encouragement within the home.

So is encouraging wives to.

Embrace their role of submission as is fitting to the Lord.

Is urging usbands to love their wives sacrificially and avoid ashness.

Is asking children to you know, to the children to

be taught the importance of obeying their parents.

Because that act will actually be pleasing to God.

And it's challenging fathers and parents generally to avoid discouraging

their children and provide a loving and supportive environment. A

family that follows all of these principles, we testifying to

God's love.

And order to the world. Our world will become better,

be peace at all.

Imagine every home in Anigeria is built on these principles

that is coming from the Bible. What do you think

our society will become a sweet place? How is your family?

What are you going to do about it this week?

Let's not live in denial. Let's not live in assumption.

I think that's how they used to do it in

my village. This is not your village, not that you

have this understanding. Live your life your family. Let it

be based on the principle of the world of God.

May the Lord help us in Jesus name. Shall we

pray together? Can you just pray for your family? Can

you just pray for your family? Is everything well with

your family or you're just managing, just patching it up?

Can you just talk to the Lord about your family?

Say Lord, I lift my family into your hands. Have

your way in my family, Take your place in my family.

My family is yours. Lord, forgive us where we have

neglected these principles of your word.

Father, I'm mercy on us.

Where wives are failed, husbands are failed, children are failed,

parents are failed.

And now we are.

Looking for miracle rather than obedience to the world of God,

as that the Lord would transform your home and bring

about his goodness in Jesus staple pray and we take

that song together.

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