God's Design for Courtship and Marriage by Rev Adeola

A prayer that which the Lord has started it will

complete in everyone. In the name of Jesus Christ, we

want to remind ourselves on the matters of marriage. And

so today and next Sunday, by the grace of God,

and I think it has to go for three sessions.

Of these it's important that we go for three sessions

because very many times when we talk about issue of marriage,

we usually leave out the singles, single mothers, single fathers,

the widows and widowers. So these sessions will be divided

into three. So this session one we want to talk

about God's design for courtship and marriage. We'll be looking

at God's design for courtship and marriage. The second session

is going to be looking at the issue of divorce.

What has Bible got to say about the matter of divorce.

Then the third part is going to come and it

has to do with encouragement to widows, widowers, single fathers,

single mothers. And I pray that God himself we speak

to us in a way that we will understand. In

the name of Jesus Christ, Father, we ask that your

mind will be declared through our engagement with your word.

This morney in the name of Jesus Lord, we pray

that homes will be healed, relationships will be restored by

the release of your healing power. This money in the

name of Jesus. Lord annoys me with the word of life.

Let your world be saved afresh from your throne of

grace in the name of Jesus. Take over by the

power of your annoying Lord. And let dear bit testimonies

of divine encounter that we bring transformation in our homes.

In the name of Jesus. Thank you, Gracious God. In

Jesus mighty name, we pray. Amen. Let's begin our Bible

reading from the Book of Genesis, Chapter two eighteen, Genesis

two eighteen. Then we go to twenty one to twenty

four Genesis eighteen, Genesis eighteen, Sorry, Genesis two, Genesis two,

Verse eighteen, Genesis to verse eighteen. Then we go to

twenty one to twenty four. This is what the Bible says.

Verse eighteen says, and the Lord God said, it is

not good for the man to be alone, and we

make a companion who will help him Verse twenty one.

So the Lord God cast Adam to fall into a

deep sleep. He took one of Adam's ReBs and closed

up the place from which he had taken it. Then

the Lord God made a woman from the rib and

brought her to Adam twenty three. At last, Adam exclaimed,

she is part of my own flesh and bone. She

will be called woman because she was taken out of

a man. Verse twenty four. This explains why a man

leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife,

and the two are united into one. Proverbs Chapter eighteen,

verse twenty two. Proverbs eighteen and twenty two, Proverbs It

twenty two. The Bible says, the man who finds a

wife finds a treasure and receives favor from the Lord.

The man who finds a wife finds a treasure and

receives favor from the Lord. The last part Ephicians, Chapter five,

verse twenty five. Ephicians five twenty five. Ephicians five twenty five.

And you, husbands, must love your wife's with the same

love Christ showed the Church he gave up his life

for her, made the Lord had many to his word

in the name of Jesus. As I was speaking, preparing

for this someone this money, I actually had prepared my

slide because I wanted it to be a lot more interactive,

but I believe that God has a reason for this.

I wanted to show a particular video that I saw

on the social media, and I wanted to use it

to pass the message across this morning. But somehow I'm

not getting the kind of output that is expected from

our projector. The projector is weak and we need to

do something about it. That's why it's not very clear.

But then I believe that the message can still come

the way God wants to deliver it this morning. God's

design for courtship and marriage. God's design for courtship a marriage.

What exactly is the import of courtship and marriage. Marriage

is a foundational institution established by God from the beginning

of creation. So in the next few minutes, I just

want to remind us what the Bible says about marriage

and what is the place of courtship. Many societies today

redefine marriage, so you have a lot of definition of marriage,

and part of those definitions is man and man, woman

and woman, man and dog, chicken and woman. Those are

the various definitions that this our society is saying about marriage,

and all of this based on personal and cultural preferences.

But as Christians, we must return to God's original bloke blueprints.

What is God's original design for marriage and for relationships,

the way of marriage, the way a marriage begins, that

is through courtship and preparation. The way your marriage begins,

we show greatly how it is going to be, so

it will greatly impact the success of that marriage. And

that's why I'm picking courtship and marriage. We just speak

about marriage alone, or we could speak about courtship, but

I know that on Friday, if I'm not mistaken, some

destinies were thrashed because of the world's definition of love,

and there was celebration of Valentine. That is not my

focus for today, but because our understanding of all of

this has been darkened by the influence of evil, we

are forsaken the way that God actually intends marriage to be.

And so in our understanding today, what we want to

seek is to understand marriage as God designed it from

the beginning. We want to highlight the principles of the

Bible for godly courtship, what exactly is expected of us

as Christians in courtship before it ends in marriage. And

we want to guide ourselves. We want to guide singles,

We want to guide those who are relationships. We want

to guide those who are married couples in honoring God

in their love life. That is what we want to

call our attention to. And I pray for God's divine

understanding this morning in the name of Jesus. Let's begin

from God's design for courtship. What exactly as God for courtship?

What is courtship? What is God exactly is courtship? Courtship

is a period of getting to know each other with

the intention of marriage, and it is conducted in a

way that honors God. So courtship it is a period

of getting to know each other, a man and a woman,

a young lady and a young man who are preparing

for marriage. So courtship is that period when they get

to know themselves with the intention of getting married sometimes

and it is under the leadership of God, who has

created marriage. Now, let me give us differences between what

is called dating and courtship. There are two different things,

all right, There are two different things. There's courtship and

there is dating word lyd dating. Of course, normally dating

you just go out and then you know, what do

you do at dating? Young guys? Because a lot of

dating was done on Friday, and from dating, some destinies

were scattered. By the way, that reminds me, there was

a special program that was organized by the youth fellowship

of this church. Let me briefly talk about that. Where's

the youth president. Where's he isn't the children class? Okay?

Youth vice president, she's not around around? No? Okay, all right.

Let me appreciate the Youth Fellowship of the church for

taking initiative to do that. Now, among all the youths

in this church, how many of us who were present

at that meeting? Yes? One? Two? Who else? H? That's great?

That is a mumis h I want to speak with you.

That is ammise when you say pastor is not involving youth.

I have challenged them do something that would benefit your lives,

and part of it was that program they did on Friday. Now,

we have plenty of youth in this church. I was

there on that platform, and on that platform we had

people who are not members of this church on that platform,

But those who actually organize the program, they were not

there on that platform. You see that we're having a

long way to go? Is that also? But which arlenge parents?

It's not completely your faults. But which arlenge you? Let

us wake up so that we don't pray. That program

was a beautiful one. Was it recorded, No, you shouldn't

even be recorded, but you please, let's wake up, let's

wake up, wake up. It was one of us, and

it was good that we had such a program. Let's

go back to God's design for courtship. What lid dating

focused on emotions, love at first sights. That was what

we discussed our last last December as younger and exceptional

love at first sights. So what lid dating calls from

emotions and personal desires and awful loss accountability. That's what

happens in dating. Dating is about deception. What lidda thing

is about how the girl can can can can can

bring down the boy, and how the boy can bring

down the girl. But biblical curt sheep, biblical court sheep

is intentional. It is prayerful and involves guidance from God

and godly mentors. Please notice what I've said, Biblical court

sheep and the course sheep that Lord has designed. We

have said it is a period of getting to know

each other. You see, part of the problems we have

with marriage today begins at courtship level, when that woman,

when that man is going to be an animal in

that relationship, you are going to know it right from courtship.

And that's why it's important that we open our eyes.

In biblical courtship, it is something that is intense, It

is intentional, It is prayerful for those of us who

went through courtship and who are still doing it now

in your courtship. Are you praying in your courtship? You know,

sometimes when we get to courtship, we are so full

of this emotion. And that's the difference. Once emotion is

beginning to setting in your courtship level, it has become

a worldly dating. It is no longer God's kind of

court sheep and that's why many young ladies cannot confront

the guys and ask questions, where are you taking me to?

What is it about our future? And a pretty many

of our young ladies they are so sheepish and they

just go, it's okay, and it's okay, I love him,

I love her, and all of those things cut it off.

You must be intentional, you must be prayerful, and such

costship involves guidance from God and godly mentors. What are

the principles in the world of God for courtship? Number

one is sik God's guidance Provabs Chapter three, five and

six and Some thirty seven, Verse twenty three. Seek God's

guidance first. Entering a relationship should be a prayerful decision.

Entering a relationship should be a prayerful decision. Trust in

the Lord with all your heart, Lean not on your

own understanding in all your ways. Acknowledge Him and it

will make your past strength and train. A relationship should

be a prayerful decision. Seek God's will before emotion takes over. Listen,

Emotion will not help you in marriage. You. Marriage is

at the level of reality. It is at the level

of reality, and it is good that we understand what

God has laid it down for us. You must seek

God's will before emotion we take over you when somebody

says I love you, just like many of us may

have received I Love your message on Friday. You're the

core croach in my cupboard for every time I sleep

and I dream, it's all about you. Oh that is emotion,

my brother and sister. That is emotion. It is from

the pit of hell. Number two principle from the world

of God is seen in FoST Corinthians, chapter thirteen, four

to seven. Build on friendship and character, not just attraction.

That's second principle of courtship. Build on friendship and character,

not just attraction. Many of us just go to one

party and from the party because he just cites that person,

and finally you say you're love with that person. There's

no friendship. You have not created any relationship with that person.

Where do you think that is going to hand you?

Castship must be about character. What is the character of

that fellow, because that is going to determine what the

end result is going to be. In our local palance.

It is often said that the way is Sunday will

look like what happens now from Saturday, get with they

take no one. Is also character friendship not just attraction. Yes,

the guy may be beautiful, but does she have character?

The guy may be handsome, but does the half character?

That is principal number two. Genuine love is based on character,

not emotional. It's this emotion that we make a man

and a woman who are in courtship to open each

other's skates and pint before marriage. It is emotion. It

is not from God. God will never lead you in

that direction. If a guy the girl is asking you

for sex before you tie the notes, you run away

from that relationship as that girl, as that boy is

doing to you. By the time you are married, it's

likely going to do it again unless the spirit of

the Lord takes come true. Look for spiritual and emotional compatibility.

Build on friendship and corame, not just attraction. Number three

principle is this. Maintain purity and holiness. First Thessalonius, Chapter four,

verse three to four, First Corinthians six eighteen to twenty.

First Thessalonians four, three to four, First Corinthians six eighteen

to twenty. Maintain purity and holiness. Avoid sexual immorality and temptation.

Don't try it, you don't just do it, take it away.

That is the principle of the world of God. Set

godly boundaries. Avoid unnecessary alone time. Don't just be alone together. Eh,

you know this is our environment. Yeah, I pray that

God will help us. We used to having lights by

this angle of the church, and that used to help

us at night. But somehow when they I think those

people maybe they prayed and then they pulled that light

down and the thing scattered, but will replace it in

Jesus' name. You see a lot of things happening at night. Eh.

Some people will come and sit down here, as they say,

life wasting away. They just sit down and be robbing

themselves and be doing like this. I say, I just

be to you. I'm sure that one of these days

this same church, around the church that you are doing

all this motion, you'll come back and say, pastor, I

want to see you. I need you to pray for me.

I made the Lord open my eyes to say everything

that you are doing now so that we tell you

you need to go back and repent. Somebody SA By

the time they see you working like this, they will

start moving. They'll start moving to this corner because this

other corner is darker than this other corner. People of God,

avoid sexual immorality, avoid temptation, set godly boundries, avoid unnecessary

alone time, and keep your conversation pere at courtship. It's

not the time to be watching pornography, not at all.

By the way, if you're involved in watching pornography, what

you're just successfully doing is that you are depositing from

evil and demonic spirit inside of you. And it's going

to backfile. It's just for a time. Number four principle

is im provabs Chapter eleven, verse fourteen. Be transparent and accountable.

Perhaps eleven fourteen. Be transparent and accountable. Involve spiritual mentors,

Involve pastors, Involve parents in your courtship. Don't just bring

the guy alone into the house. That's not what we're saying.

That's not what we're saying. Don't just bring the guy

alone into the house. What are you discussing. Be transparent,

be accountable. Some of us we go under the tree

and be making call because you don't want people to

hear what you're saying. It's because you're not saying what

is right. I was once in a relationship, you know,

back in the days of extra cool. How many of

us witness extra cool empty end? It was a live waster.

It wasted a number of lives. I was in school

and I've spoken to the young lady that I love

you and I want to marry you. Six months down

the line, the young lady didn't give me yes or no.

But I heard at the back of my mind that

the person that I've been praying, I said, the person

that I will speak to the answer will come almost immediately.

So I was waiting for that. So after one month

I didn't get anything. I say, well, this one is

not my way. But I remember that day I was

coming from Uba in school and I just saw the

text message concerning our discussion. I think we should go together.

My heart started bitty. I say, I know this one

is the wrong one. I say, okay. Then I discovered

that during the day it's not the time for anything,

but at night she will call me excuse me, I

have work. I'm going to go to class the following day.

Then I'll start sleeping in class. I say, ah, this

woman is going to kill my destiny. I told you woman,

I said, see, this extra cool thing is going to

kill me. I can't continue with it. After all this story,

She's not my wife today and I thank God. Avoid sixty.

Godly relationship thrive in the light, not in darkness. Avoid secrecy.

You cannot build a godly relationship in the secret. Let

it be made open. Number five principle is this in

Second Corinthians, chapter six, verse fourteen. Do not be unequally

yoked with unbeliever Marrie within the faith. Do we get

what I said? Can we say together marry within the faith.

Let's say it together, all right, marry within the free.

A Christian should not marry and umbe what do I say?

Umber is unbeliever? Don't marry and Umber You're going to

destroy yourself. And Ah is a nonbeliever. You know. The

other time we have defined what Christian marriage is about. Right.

Christian marriage is a marriage between two Christians, not two churchgoers.

Do we understand that you are in church today? Does

not be you're a Christian? Yes or no? All right?

If you're just the type that the cross is yet

and you're just para bulleting around the cross like this,

you're not yet a Christian until you have and encounter

with the Cross of Jesus. So a Christian marriage is

a marriage between two believers, two people who are born again.

If you're in a courtship with someone that doesn't come

to church and he doesn't go anywhere else, that's a

red flag. And that was what we discuss right on Friday.

It was a red flag in relationships. That's a red flag.

Come to church, come to church, and the person does

not show up in churche? What church does he attend?

He doesn't even know the name of his church and

all of those kind of thing. Yet are you a Christian?

Of course I'm a Christian. I'm not saying that because

you go to church makes you a Christian, all right,

But what is your encounter with the Lord. That's what

we're talking about. A Christian should not marry a nonbeliever.

Spiritual unity is critical for a godly marriage. It's a

preparation for the future. I made the Lord help us

in Jesus' name. Let's quickly look at the biblical foundation

for marriage. So we have talked about courtship now, so

that's preparation. So before you get into marriage, all those

things are very important. What are the things that we

have said. Number one, seek God's guidance first. Number two.

Build on friendship and character, not just attraction. Number three,

maintain purity and holiness. Number four, be transparent and accountable.

Number five Marry within the faith. Marry within the faith.

Marry within the faith, please, I beg you. From that

text Genesis to eighteen twenty one to twenty four, we

see biblical foundation of marriage. Number one. From that place

in verse eighteen, the Bible tells us that marriage is

God's idea. That's number one thing. Have that at the

back of your mind. It is not your creation. One

day you feel like having a woman in your house

as a man, or you feel like you should go

and attach yourself with a man. It is not your idea.

It is God's idea. So if you do it, and

that is where the world gets is wrong. And that's

why there are many diverces today because we have gotten

it wrong. From the beginning. The Bible says in that

verse eighteen of Genesis chapter two, it is not good

for the man to be alone, and it is not

good for the woman to be alone. There was a reason.

It is God that determines that time that you should

not be alone, and so there's sniff for you to

come together. God designed marriage to solve the problem of

loneliness and provide companionship. Marriage is a divine institution, not

human invension. We must have that at the back of

our mind. Let's see what Matthew chapter nineteen says. Matthew

Chapter nineteen four and six four to six. Matthew nineteen

four to six, see what the Bible says. Haven't you

read the scriptures? Jesus replied, They record that, they record

that from the beginning, God made them male and female

verse five, and it said, this explains why a man

leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife.

And the two are united into one, since they are

no longer two but one. Let no one separate them,

for God has joined them together. That's the idea of marriage.

It is God that is joining the two people together.

And that is why the Christian marriage. The only third

party in the Christian marriage is God himself and is

if not even a third party now, but is the

originator of that entire coming together. Number two principle. You

see in verse twenty four. Marriage is a covenant relationship,

and that you will see in what the Bible says

in verse twenty four. He says they will leave, and

then they will cleave, and then they will become world flesh.

Is a life long commitment, as far as the Bible

is concerned. Once you enter into marria, you don't enter

with that too. There is no run in a way.

But this man is beating me. This man is anyway.

We'll talk about that next week. By the grace of God,

we'll talk about that in detail. But that's the original plan.

Is that a man and a woman will come together.

And that's why you see, even for those of us

who have gotten it wrong, they still a way out.

And the way out is to surrender to Jesus and

let Jesus take over that relationship, and you'll begin to

see the sweetness. Marriage is supposed to be sweet. But

when you are managing a marriage, you need to check

your foundation. That's why we began with courtship. You need

to check your foundation. Where's it coming from. Marriage is

a covenant, not just a contract. I will leave that there.

If you want to hear details of that, we'll do

it next time, by the grace of God. That's second part.

So marriage is a covenant, is not just a contract.

We're going to look at the difference between call a

contract and a covenant. So how is marriage a covenant

and not just a contract? Number three principles in the

Bible is the roles of Osborne and wife, as declared

to Ross in Exhisitions Chapter five twenty two and twenty

two to thirty three. For the osband, the Bible says

gave the instruction to Osband to call or Amid to

love their wives as Christ loves the church, Verse twenty

five of Ephesians five. The wives in verses twenty two

and twenty four, they have the responsibility to respect and

submit to their husband. And then finally there is a

submission and love that takes place to create a healthy

and God honoring marriage. It is not just the woman

alone that should submit and respect the man, but the

Bible says that it's a mutual thing. The husband also

need to respect the wife. Why exactly did God create marriage?

Why exactly did God create marriage? Number one is for

companionship and love. You see it in Genesis chapter two,

verse eighteen. For companionship and love. God created if because

Adam needed companionship. God said, it is not good for

demand to be alone. So for companionship. A godly marriage

is built on love, is built on friendship and shared purpose.

That's Christian marriage. So purpose number one is for companionship

and love. For those of us that are married, our

ask us this morney, is that purpose being fulfilled? If

that purpose is not being fulfilled, the purpose of companionship,

the purpose of love in your home, there is need

to revisit our foundation. Number two purpose is mutual help

and support. Then that's what Ecclesiasts Chapter four nine to

twelve episodes to understand that was the passage as used

during brother I Brahim's wedding Ecclesiastis chapter four, nine to twelve.

It is for help and support. May I have this

question in your home? Is the woman supporting the man?

Is the man supporting the woman? Or everybody is just

going is my way? Marriage is a partnership where both

spouses compliment each other. There were supposed to. They are

supposed to compliment one another. A husband and a wife

strengthen each other emotionally, spiritually, and physically. We are to

help each other. Another purpose for marriage, number three purpose

is for family and procreation Genesis one twenty eight, for

family and procreation, giving bed having children. For as many

of home looking up to Jesus for the gift of

children made the Lord open those wombs in the name

of Jesus Christ. Family and procreation. There's another purpose for marriage.

So God commanded humanity to be fruitful and motive Genesis

one twenty eight, to be fruitful and multiply. Marriage provides

the foundation for raising godly children. But the question is

this in your marriage? For those of us that a

marriage are married. In your marriage, are we seeing godly

children in your home. If there are no godly children,

you are not fulfilling the purpose that God has created marriage,

and that there is need for us to go back

to the foundation. Another purpose is seen in EPI Chapter five,

twenty five to thirty two that a home, a marriage

is to be a reflection of Christ, and the church

is about the relationship between g and the Church. So

marriage is a symbol of Christ's relationship with the Church.

If it is not so, then there is need for

us to revisit the foundation. Husbands must lead with sacrificial love.

Wives must respond with respect and submission, and that's how

the relationship between Jesus and the Church is. Number five

purpose is that marriage should provide sexual affection. He Brews

thirteen four that sexual union, the sexual union is holy

and pure only within marriage. Any sexual union that is

outside of marriage is against God, and God is against

such relationship. Forget what the world is telling you, perhaps

five fifteen to twenty that I read for the call

to worship. This money man should find fulfillments for his

desire on lay in his love for wife. That's why

that Bible person says, drink from your own well Proverabs

chapter five. Let's go back to that passage again, and

let's quickly see something there. Proverbs chapter five and verse fifteen.

He says, drink water from your own way. Maron, let's

not give very deep description this money five for fill

mens in your wife, not in anyone else. First Conthians

chapter seven two to five, eight a nine, The Bible

says husband and a wife should express sexual affection, not

tempting this spouse by defrauding them. Satisfying this desire is

one legitimate, legitimate reason for getting married a God's design.

Once you are married to that man, once you are

married to that woman, you are locked together. I said.

That's why way they say only wed look is wed local.

You are locked. Above all of these is that the

ultimate goal of marriage is to help one another to

save God. Listen, is your wife helping you to save God?

Are you helping your husband to save God? Are you

helping your wife to save God? If you're not doing that,

you're not fulfilling that purpose. When we understand the propertiesons

from marriage, we also know why it is a mistake

to marry for other reasons. There are other reasons why

people get married, but don't marry for any of these

other reasons. Let me just tell you some of them.

Some people marry because they want to attend wealth, because

they want influence, because they want popularity, because they want

social status, they want to be known in the community.

That's why some people marry. Oh that I want to

marry somebody that is rich. Okay, that's where it starts from.

Another reason is to escape serious problems in one's previous

own life. Because your parents are too weakened abby, because

your mother is always shouting on you, then you want

to go and get married. You're in trouble. That that's

why you have refused to fight with your mummy. And

understand the reason why your mother is shouting at you.

You will come to fight it in marriage. Some people

also get married. All my friends are getting married. Why

A mean? Why not you? Are you? Your friends? Are you? Everybody?

You are their destiny to pursue. You are the life

of your own. Don't marry because all your friends are

getting married, because you are going to get into error,

serious error that you will not be able to release

yourself from. Some people get married to feel that somebody

wants us. Eh. I was listening to the story of

one young lady in because of the Week, and the

young lady said that because of our background, the father

never loved the mother was not there because it's like

the mother had some health challenges, some kind of psychological challenges,

and so somehow she was left all alone to struggle

through life. All of a suddenly one guy just came

say I love you, and she just fell for it.

Disaster in school. In school, sometimes they will be in

the cafeteria and they would just be eating and the

lady will just miss young and the guy will look

at her and just give her courser and beat her

like that to you. Ho s tele in the public

few of people, and then you're sis saying that I

love him, I do this one. Are you mad? Are

you crazy? Somebody is doing like this to you? Eh?

At courtship level, you never marry her and they treat

you like this. What do you think is going to

happen when you get into that marriage? He would destroy

your life. One day we just come and gather and

say hey, farewell, goodbye. May that not be your case?

In Jesus name, some people are felt or loved, They

felt rejected, they felt inferior. Ah their lives, so they

just want to feel like somebody wants them, and then

they get married and then you become like a rag

in that house and the man does not have regard

for you. It is both sizo. I also listening to

one conversation in the course of the week, and they

were saying that this woman we beat the husband blue black.

You know, when a woman will beat a man and

the man will not be able to talk. And they

went to the pastor and even in the presence of

the pastor, and the way they were talking as the

pastor was you know, encouraged and just you know, trying

to advise them and all of those things. It's like

the way the woman was even looking. The woman was

looking as if you will come a meet me at two.

You know, most times we think it's only men that

do that. There are women that we finished their husband

and the man will not be able to talk. May

the Lord deliver us in Jesus name beginning time. Once

the foundation is wrong, you cannot get it right. Some

people also get married because we are on the rebound.

Because I just broke a relationship. The fact that you

broke that relationship is simply because God wants to channel

your life right. Reconnect back to your maker and let

him order your steps. Some people get married because we

want someone to provide for us or to keep the

house for us. Eh, so that there's going to be mad,

that's going to be giving you money. Sometimes some people

get married because our family or friends think we make

a good couple. You people are fine together. You're looking ah, wow,

you are together. You can make good. Look at this

love bird, and then years ago, God bless me. I

pity your life. I pity your life. Marriage is not

for your love birds. It's not for children. Marriage is

not for boys and girls. Therefore, shan a man. If

you're not a man, you can get into that. Let's

look at some challenges in courtship and marriage. Number one

is poor communication. Lack of open and honest communication leads

to misunderstanding. And once there's misunderstanding and it's not resolved,

it can begin to lead to what we're going to

discuss next Sunday. Couples develop the habits of active listening

and discussing matters biblically. You see, that's why Bible is

very important in the room for every marriage, for every marriage,

as far as Schilo. Baptist Church is concerned. Once you

have gotten married, we want to present you byble. We

know you are Bible, but what we are telling you

is that go to read by bue go a read Bible.

That's the only way you can succeed and excelt in

your relationship. Number two challenge is the wrong foundation. If

you enter a relationship because of lost, because of money,

because of pressure, because of this is word. They want

me to go get married. My dad is here, monsieur

shall go and get married, make a cukuma get married.

You're in trouble and that's what leads to failure. Wrong foundations.

Courtship must be based on God's principles and clear intentions.

Number three challenge is conflicts and disagreements. You know when

there's fights in any relationship, whether you like it or not,

listen because both of us we are coming from different backgrounds.

Even where you are reading the Bible twenty four to seven,

there will be a time you are going to have misunderstanding.

Conflicts are bound to happen in marriage, but out there

are and good it's what matters. And if Christ is

not a lord of that marriage, you will misandle it

apply biblical principles of patience, of humility, and forgiveness in

your home and you will see reviver taking place. Another

challenge is external influence family and culture. Yes, family is important,

but don't let your family take over your relationship. You

will give account to God concerning your husband, concerning your wife,

not concerning your family. Don't let family members, your excited

family members, destroy your own. A man must take decision.

For the little opportunities have had in the ministry to

advise people in marriage. I always tell them I can

make the choice for you. But you see this thing

you're about to do. If you considered this, that's why

you say. I will plead with every one of us

planning to get married, please go for Christian primary to counseling. Please,

I beg of you. It's important. It's not as if

it's going to solve every problem, but it's going to

open your eyes to a lot of things. The marriage

cancelor can help you see what you cannot see. Mentors

can hep you see what you have not been seeing

about the lady, about the man. But at the end

of it, if I advise you and he said, no,

this is where I'm going to go, I'll just say,

may the Lord be with you and see you through

tea with me again. So when struggle starts, you'll not

be able to tell me. Obviously you will not be

able to see it, because these are things that people

cannot say. Can we take some guides as we round

off this today? What are the things that we must

do for godly courtship and marriage? For singles who are

preparing for marriage. Word of advice for us, focus on

personal growth, personal spiritual growth before you seek a relationship.

Some of us we never grow finish, we won't go hard.

Join us. Please focus on personal spirit to our growth

before seeking a relationship. Number two, develop a strong relationship

with God through prayer, Bible study. Have a relationship with

God before you enter any relationship. And avoid desperation. Avoid desperation.

All my mates are getting married, I'm not married, and

you are. You're tormenting yourself. Why not just relax about

for those of us who are in courtship. For those

who are in courtship, be intentional, difine, define the purpose

of your relationship early. I've heard some ladies that have

been in a relationship the guy is thinking that you

know this is a serious relationship. But he never talk.

But you get to you do miss mission. You know

know this thing and insteade of you to open your

mouth and talk, you know, talk, define it. Why are

you together? Set clear boundaries to maintain purity. Don't go

and sleep in the boy's house. It is wrong. If

you have done it, made the Lord forgive you. Repent,

don't do it again. Seek godly mentorship for spiritually or

spiritually matured people. Where you need help, Let somebody help

you aw about. For those of us that are married.

In your marriage, let God be number one. Let your

spouse be number two. Then your family number three. Matthew

six thirty three, but six for us the Kingdom of God.

Lets God be number one. Let your spouse be number two.

Let every other member of the family be number three.

At the beginning, husband and wife are like this. Once

a child begins to come, you see husband, you see

a wife, and now you see children in between them.

Then by the time the children get married. Over the years,

because there are longer years that you have stayed together

like this, it will not be difficult for you to

be like this. I pray God will help you and

help everyone of us in Jesus name. Maintain consistent prayer,

Bible study and worship together as a family. Have a

prayer devotion in your family. It is important. That's what

is going to help your home to grow. Will be

conflicts if it comes, what do you do? Resolved them

quickly in the Bible way? I May the Lord help

us in jesusin people of God. God's design for marriage

and courtship is clear and intentional. A godly marriage is

built on the principles of the world of God, on

principle of commitments, on the principle of mutual love. Young

people should approach relationship prayer fully and wisely. The goal

is to have Christ centered marriages that we glorify God.

If your marriage is not glorifying God, there is a

chance to put that marriage in the right perspective today.

If you're preparing to get married and the courtship or

the relationship that you are in so far doesn't seem

to bring glory to God, you can write all of

that today. And that is the essence of this message.

What are you going to do about it? May the

Lord help us in the martin name of Jesus Christ.

Shall we pray together. Can you ask the Lord this

morning to have messy on your relationship when we are

another You have gotten it wrong, but you need a savior,

like a shepherd that can lead us. There's no friend

like the lordly Jesus. Can you ask Jesus to come

into your relationship, into your marriage, into your home, into

your courtship and for those of us that's just preparing.

You're not engaged at all. Can you ask the Lord

to direct you so that you will not make mistakes,

so that you will not fall into error. Confess to

God that you cannot help yourself. In Jesus name, we pray,

I like us to take that him, that Him of prayer,

save your like a shepherd. Leaders will remain seated as

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