Marriage, Singleness and the Kingdom of God

Do sit and in your series sheet you should have an outline of tonight's sermon.

! It's the same structure over the four weeks of the series on marriage.

! I think it'll help you in some ways. I think it's the only way you'll keep track tonight.

So do keep that open before you.

And Matthew chapter 19.

Matthew 19 · chapter mention

I want to start tonight by stating the obvious.

That between Genesis chapter 2, which we looked at last week, and Matthew chapter 19,

Genesis 2 · chapter mention Matthew 19 · chapter mention

a lot of water has passed under the bridge.

Last week, we looked at what God said about marriage and singleness at the very beginning.

But between then and when Jesus arrives on the scene many years later,

in that time we hear about lots of marriages in the Old Testament.

Some are described in the Bible in very positive terms.

But many of the marriages we read about in the Old Testament are downright terrible.

And yet even in the midst of husbands and wives hurting each other and acting wickedly,

God is working out his gracious promises and purposes for his people.

In particular in the Old Testament, he works out his purposes through children.

He promises to Abraham and to David, depend utterly on the future generations.

And likewise, God's promise of a Messiah will be fulfilled, won't it, through a significant birth.

So from the perspective of the Old Testament, God's blessings for the world largely come through families who procreate.

And in that context, being childless or unmarried is usually seen in the Old Testament in a largely negative light.

To be unable to procreate in the New Testament was a source of great grief and shame.

And so there is little or no evidence in the Old Testament of anyone voluntarily choosing singleness.

There is, however, mention a number of times of those who are involuntarily single.

They didn't choose it.

The Old Testament speaks of eunuchs.

Men who are either born without the ability to reproduce or have had their genitalia removed by some kind of overload.

And of course, eunuchs did not have much status in society.

They were generally used rather than loved.

But not so with God.

There's a really famous chapter of Isaiah, chapter 56.

Isaiah 56 · chapter mention

And God promises that in the days to come, even eunuchs who obey his word will be welcomed and they'll be included.

In God's house, Isaiah says, and they will be given a name that is better than sons and daughters.

A name that will endure forever.

Probably the other thing to say about the years since the beginning from Genesis 2 to Matthew 19

is that they included the giving of the law.

And the law of Moses addressed issues which might arise in the course of a marriage.

Even in the circumstances of how divorce was to happen.

And how remarriage should be seen and handled.

And so all of that is the setting into which Jesus comes and speaks.

But of course, another key factor of the context and the setting in which Jesus speaks is this conflict.

That he's in with the Jewish establishment.

You don't have to read just more than a few verses in the Gospels to pick that up.

The Jewish religious leaders, they are jealous of Jesus right from the start.

They see Jesus undermining what they stand for.

And in many ways, I guess he is, isn't he?

But as a result, the Pharisees and the chief priests, the scribes,

they are always on the lookout for ways to discredit him.

And so once again, you see in Matthew 19 that.

Ultimately, they're looking to get rid of him.

The Jewish leaders in Matthew 19 are trying to trip Jesus up.

And Matthew makes it very clear to us in verse 4

that the questions about divorce do not flow from a genuine or a humble inquiry.

They come from a desire to test Jesus and to embarrass him.

And so whilst the Jewish leaders were seeking to undo Jesus,

many of the other people couldn't get enough of him.

Crowds followed Jesus wherever he went.

They may not have all been disciples.

They weren't.

But they were certainly fascinated by him.

In our day, I wonder, it's a little bit like when people follow a celebrity online, on Twitter.

Do you remember when all those millions followed Donald Trump?

They didn't follow Donald Trump.

Maybe you followed Donald Trump.

You didn't follow Donald Trump because he was supportive of all his tweets.

But you just couldn't wait to find out, well, what's he going to say next?

And so it is with Jesus here.

Jesus has just finished teaching the people in parables.

And we come to chapter 19, verses 1 and 2.

Now when Jesus finished these things, the parables, he went away from Galilee.

He entered into the region of Judea, beyond the Jordan.

And large crowds followed him.

And he healed them there.

They're thinking, what will Jesus say next?

What will he do next?

Well, let's think carefully about how Matthew answers that question.

Point 2 on your outlines is out of an exposition.

So it begins in verse 3 with a question from the Pharisees.

Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?

Now that question is as silly as it sounds, isn't it?

Any cause is a lot of causes.

Anything from she killed my mother to she burnt the toast.

And they must have known that it was unlikely that Jesus would say yes.

But of course they could only hope.

Because this was the set-up question, wasn't it?

They were planning to sting him with their follow-up question.

But even though it wasn't a very serious question,

Jesus responds with a very serious answer.

Look at verse 4.

Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning

made them male and female and said,

therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife.

And the two shall become one flesh.

So they are no longer two, but one flesh.

And what therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

Oh, there's a little barb, isn't there?

Look at the start of verse 4.

Haven't you read?

No, he's saying the answer to your question

is there in black and white on the pages of the Bible.

Genesis chapter 2, actually.

Genesis 2 · chapter mention

And not only is this the best of ancient wisdom,

these are the words of your creator.

Effectively, Jesus answers their question

with a very strong and emphatic no.

It is not lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason.

So God created marriages to be a profound and sacred union

between a man and a woman.

So profound, in fact, that God describes them as being one flesh.

And what is more, Jesus says they are one flesh

because they are joined by God,

joined for a lifetime,

not to be separate.

And Jesus is basically saying

divorce is never good.

If God has joined two people together,

then divorce is man

undoing the work of God.

Therefore, what God has joined together,

let no one separate.

Well, you see the Pharisees,

they think they've caught Jesus.

They're happy with his answer

because they think Jesus has just contradicted Moses.

Is Jesus saying that Moses got it wrong?

So in verse 7,

they refer Jesus back to Deuteronomy,

Deuteronomy 4 · chapter mention

chapter 4,

and this is their second question.

Why then did Moses command one

to give a certificate of divorce

and send her away?

And Jesus responds to them, doesn't he,

in verse 8,

and the first thing he does

is correct the Pharisees'

understanding of the law.

He tells them Moses didn't command

divorce.

Very carefully,

Jesus uses the word permitted

or allowed.

Verse 8,

because of your hardness of heart,

Moses allowed you

to divorce your wives,

but from the beginning,

it was not so.

And Jesus' explanation

is that the law of God

permitted divorce for sin.

I think that means

for hardness of heart.

But the law wasn't turning its back

on Genesis 2.

The law was making provision

for human sinfulness.

Since marriages were ending

and men were sending away their wives,

there needed to be legislation.

There needed to be protection

for the defenseless

to regulate how those

sort of tragic circumstances

be handled.

But Jesus says,

it wasn't like that

in the beginning.

He's reminding them again

of Genesis chapter 2.

Genesis 2 · chapter mention

And I don't think Jesus' argument

is very difficult for us at all.

If somebody breaks into your house

to steal your computer

and you happen to catch them red-handed,

the law may allow you, I think,

to detain that person,

but it prevents you

from using excessive force.

There are laws like this today

that describe how people

should react in unfortunate

or difficult circumstances.

So just because there's a law

about how to treat a burglar,

it doesn't mean that the law

thinks burglary is okay, does it?

In the same way,

just because the Old Testament law

described how to respond

to the ending of a marriage,

it doesn't mean that the ending

of a marriage is fine.

In fact, Jesus says

the ending of a marriage

is not fine.

It is not what God wants.

It is not how God designed us.

And he underlines that again

in verse 9.

Look what he says.

He says,

He's saying that in the eyes of God,

there's no difference between a man

having sex with another woman

behind his wife's back

and formally divorcing her

and then going to have sex

with another woman,

even if the other woman

becomes his wife.

Now, of course,

Jesus' position on this matter

isn't actually

that black and white.

Because as you'll notice

in verse 9,

he allows an exception.

The verdict that he's just given

doesn't apply universally,

he says.

He's not saying

remarriage after divorce

is adulterous in every case.

He seems to be saying

in the case of sexual immorality,

divorce is not a sin.

And by extension,

remarriage after divorce

on those grounds

is not adulterous before God.

Now, what are these grounds

that he's talking about?

What does sexual immorality mean

in this passage?

Sexual immorality

is any sexual conduct

which exists outside

the boundaries of moral sex

between a married man

and a woman.

So it certainly refers

to adultery.

But it also refers,

I think,

to a wider category

of sexual unfaithfulness

as well.

So Jesus is saying,

if your marriage

comes to an end

because your spouse

betrays you sexually,

then there is something

about that act

which unravels

what God has done

in a unique way.

And under those circumstances,

God permits divorce

and does not consider

adultery,

remarriage adultery,

adulterous.

Now, notice he's not

commanding divorce

in those terrible circumstances.

No doubt,

God would be delighted

to find that two followers

of Jesus

that suffered

the worst kind

of betrayal

could still show

each other repentance

and real forgiveness

so that the marriage

could be saved.

I'm aware

that would be

very,

very hard.

But it would also

be very wonderful.

But it's not always

possible,

is it?

And Jesus is acknowledging

that where that is

not possible,

this exception

can apply.

I just want to

take a step back

here for a moment.

And I want to acknowledge

how hard

Jesus' words are

here.

And for many of us

who are here tonight

and maybe you are watching,

how painful.

There'll be some people

here tonight

who've lived through

the aching sorrow

of a broken marriage.

Others of you

will have experienced it

as a child

in a broken home.

others of you

have supported people

that they love

as they go through

divorce.

I'd be really surprised

if the vast majority

of us have not been

affected

by the pain

of divorce

in some way or another.

And for some here

tonight,

the very mention

of the word

brings a sick feeling

to your stomach.

Tears to the back

of your eyes.

And I'm conscious

of those

in our church family

who will be listening

to this

and finding it

very difficult.

I don't find

any joy

in stirring up

those emotions.

But we must hear

what Jesus says

to us.

The sheep need

to hear the voice

of the Good Shepherd.

And this is what

the Good Shepherd

says to us.

On the one hand,

he says something

very black and white

which is his

major point.

Marriage

is for life.

All divorce

is a terrible

departure

from God's

intention.

And for the record,

I think those

who've maybe

experienced divorce

first hand

would probably

be the first

to agree with that.

They know

all too

painfully

that that is not

how things were

meant to be.

But Jesus

also says something

that is less

black and white

and more great.

Here is his

minor point.

He says in the

case of a marriage

being torn apart

by sexual

immorality,

there is an

exception to

this principle.

Let's move on

to verses 10

to 12.

Because there

we hear from

Jesus' disciples.

They are listening

to Jesus

and they answer

the Pharisees'

question.

They've got a

question of their

own.

Look at verse

10.

They say if this

is the situation

between a husband

and wife,

it's better not

to marry.

It's not

entirely clear

what the

disciples are

referring to,

reacting to.

But they seem

to be saying

if this is the

kind of commitment

that God

expects,

that if God

is really serious

about this

lifelong faithfulness

thing,

then wouldn't

it be better

just to stay

single?

In verse 11,

Jesus seems

to allow that

there's a strong

logic in what

the disciples

say.

Jesus says

in verse 11,

some can't

accept that

logic that

is.

There are

those who

won't choose

singleness

because God

hasn't given

them a life

of singleness.

But there are

others who've

been given a

single life,

verse 12,

and Jesus

says there in

that verse,

there are some

also who are

born incapable

of a sexual

relationship.

There are some

who've been

cruelly made

that way at

the hands of

other men,

and there are

still others

who willingly

choose a

life of

singleness

so they

might serve

the kingdom.

And in

any of those

situations,

God has

given them

singleness.

And so

Jesus says

to the one

to whom

has been

given,

the one

who can

accept it

should accept

it.

The culture

that we live

in today hates

celibacy.

Can't understand

it.

But once

again,

we find

the Lord

Jesus

butting

heads

with our

culture.

He describes

people who've

been given

a life of

celibacy

by God,

some by

virtue of

their birth,

some by

virtue of

the circumstances

by which

they live.

And there

are some,

Jesus says,

who voluntarily

choose singleness

for a time,

either for a

time or

permanently,

in order to

devote themselves

to God's

work.

Jesus

himself would

be an

example of

that last

category,

wouldn't he?

Jesus

lives like

a eunuch,

to use his

phrase,

for the sake

of the king.

And so

by the words

he speaks

here,

and his

own

celibate

singleness,

Jesus affirms

what we saw

in Genesis 2

last week,

that marriage

is not the

ultimate thing,

sex is not

the ultimate

thing.

sexual

intimacy is

not ultimate.

For some,

marriage is a

precious and

wonderful gift

from God,

but for

others,

the unmarried

life is

God's gift.

Now,

let's take

some time to

kind of pause

and think

through the

implications of

this.

What is

Jesus saying

for both

marriage and

for singleness?

So,

two things

about marriage.

number one,

Jesus teaches

that marriage

is a

joining

by God.

I think

Jesus is

taking something

that's

implicit in

Genesis 2

and making

it explicit

in Matthew

19.

Jesus

thinks it's

really crucial

that you

don't miss

this tonight.

marriage.

And I

think this

conclusion is

central to

the whole

way that

Jesus thinks

about marriage

and everything

else he's

saying in

these verses.

I don't

think it's

saying,

I don't

think it's

overstating to

say that the

crucial five

words of this

passage are

there in

verse 6.

What God

has joined

together.

together.

What God

has joined

together.

It's really

struck me this

week as I've

studied this,

that when a

man and a

woman get

married,

they are not

just joined by

their mutual

consent and

promise.

They are

certainly not

just joined by

the words that

a minister

pronounces.

when a man

and a woman

get married,

they are

joined by

God.

When you go

to a wedding,

what do you

see?

You see,

you witness a

couple making

vows to each

other,

joining hands,

exchanging

rings,

kissing each

other,

being given

away by

parents,

being pronounced

man and

wife by the

person who

officiates.

But the most

significant thing

that happens at

a wedding,

you can't

see.

there is a

somber,

really serious,

quite terrifying

moment that

is invisible at

every wedding,

which is the

thing that

matters most.

The God who

imagined marriage

and who

created it to

be a profound

and intimate

union,

the God who

is the author

of love,

that God

joins people

together.

And so,

if you're

married tonight,

God has

done something

to you.

He has

glued you

together with

your husband

or wife.

And it's

on that

basis that

you must

think of

your marriage

as lifelong,

not to be

unjoined.

It is because

your lives

have been

merged by

God himself

that you

must not

unmerge

them.

God has

joined

together.

Let no

man

separate.

Now,

as we've

seen,

that's a

really

black and

white

statement.

But there's

also some

gray,

isn't there?

And the

gray we see

here is

because of

sin.

And Jesus

speaks

specifically

about sin

on two

occasions here,

I think.

Verse 8,

where he

says that the

relevant Old

Testament laws

have been

given because

of hard-heartedness.

And then

secondly in

verse 9,

where he

acknowledges that

marriages are

shipwrecked by

the sin of

sexual immorality.

Yes,

there is

sin.

And sin

brings with

it all sorts

of brokenness

and complexity.

And so

life is not

always to be

lived with

just the

black and

the white

in view.

And sometimes

we need

God's help

to find

the best

thing to

do in

a terribly

broken

situation.

And the

scriptures give

us guidance

here in

verse 9,

as we're

going to

see in

1 Corinthians

7 next

week.

But I

want to

focus

tonight on

the black

and white

because that

is Jesus'

major point.

And I

want to

tease out the

implications of

Jesus'

major point.

Whether we're

divorced or

married or

single or

looking to

marry,

and I

want to

speak to

each of

those groups

in turn.

Firstly,

to the

divorced.

because life

is messy

and broken

as a result

of sin,

some of

us may

have lived

through the

tragedy of

a broken

marriage.

I want to

point out to

you tonight

that Jesus

did not

speak these

words to

make divorced

people feel

guilty.

Jesus

knows the

circumstances

of every

divorce.

And Jesus

is able,

well able,

to look

compassionately

on his

people who

have lived

through that

pain.

As you

know,

God has

made a

way for

people to

be forgiven

for every

sin.

And

depending on

the reasons

for your

divorce,

it may be

that you

need to

repent of

having gone

down that

road.

may not

be the

case,

but some

may have

divorced for

reasons that

Jesus does

not permit.

And if

that is true

for you,

your divorce

was not

right.

And you

ought to

confess it

to God.

If there's

any way to

be reconciled

to your

former spouse,

then you

should consider

that seriously

too.

Now,

of course,

in many

cases,

that is not

possible.

And it

may not be

possible,

maybe because

you've

married

again.

And if

that is

the case,

God certainly

wants you

to be

faithful to

your new

spouse.

The Bible

never advocates

a repentance

for divorce

that involves

divorcing

someone else.

There may

be other

reasons why

reconciliation

isn't

possible.

Whether it

is or not,

a Christian

who is

divorced when

they should

not have

divorced needs

to trust

God for

his forgiveness

and for

his cleansing.

unforgiveness

may not

mean that

you're free

to marry

again.

It may

not mean

that you

can avoid

some of

the painful

consequences

of your

decisions.

But it

certainly does

mean this,

that you

can rest

in the arms

of the

unqualified

love of

God.

The blood

of Jesus

spilt on

the cross

means there

is grace

without

exception.

And we

are clean

in his

sight.

And so

God does

not hold

your past

against you.

And nothing

can change

that.

And

secondly,

to the

married.

Because the

primary application

of Matthew

19 is towards

those who are

married,

and to us

he says

this,

he says,

what God

has joined

don't

unjoin.

and what

God has

knitted

together

don't

unravel.

And he

wants us

to work

tirelessly

at an

extreme

cost,

if necessary,

to protect

our marriages

from harm.

And so

tonight,

I want to

ask you

if you're

doing that,

that's not

a light

thing,

it's not

a little

thing.

You've

been joined

together,

not just

by a

minister,

or your

shared

consent,

but by

God

himself.

A

one

flesh

relationship

like this

is to

be

treasured,

it's a

very

precious

gift.

But if

it's

something

to be

treasured,

it's

also

something

to be

protected,

isn't

it?

Will

you do

whatever

it takes

so that

your

marriage

will

last

a

lifetime?

That

might

mean

as

you've

listened

to

this

sermon,

you

realize

that

you need

to

meet

with

someone

to

work

through

some

issues.

It

might

mean

getting

some

help

to

tackle

an

addiction.

It

might

mean

dropping

a

friendship

if

that

friendship

is an

impediment

to your

marriage

in some

way.

It

might

mean

a

complete

reorientation

of your

life's

priorities.

It

might

even

mean

a

new

job.

Whatever

else it

means,

it

certainly

means

this,

daily

hard

work,

daily

thoughtfulness,

daily

repentance

of sin,

daily

prayer,

daily

grace

towards

your

spouse,

and

daily

forbearance,

and

daily

attentiveness

to this

relationship.

Anything

less than

this kind

of commitment

will make

it very

hard for

you to

do what

Jesus

asks of

you here.

and

anything

less than

that kind

of commitment

leads

you to

become

another

statistic.

And so

you probably

know that

the statistics

on divorce

amongst

Christians

are horrifying.

I read

one writer

this week

who said

Jesus would

be appalled

at the

ease and

frequency

with which

divorce takes

place today.

And I

suspect he's

right.

In fact,

I wonder

whether future

generations

will look

back at

this kind

of period

of church

history,

and what

will they

say when

it comes

to the

issue of

marriage

and divorce?

You know,

we look

back,

don't we,

on slavery,

and we

think to

ourselves,

how was it

that so

many Christians

did not

have a

problem

with

Christians

owning

slaves?

How was

it that

so many

Christians

helped

perpetuate

slavery

as an

institution?

How blind

were they?

And I

wonder whether

future

generations

might look

at ours

and say

the same

about

marriage.

How did

so many

Christians

not have

a problem

with getting

divorced and

marrying again?

How is it

that so many

Christians

helped

perpetuate

a kind

of casual

attitude

to lifelong

enduring

marriage?

Is the

Bible not

clear?

Yeah?

How Christians

in our day

come to see

Matthew 19

Matthew 19:6

verse 6

if you just

look at it?

Do we

see that

maybe more

as an

ideal

to aim

for

but

something

that's

regrettably

beyond

us?

But many

of you

wonderfully

thankfully

are living

faithfully

in your

marriages.

And so

I don't

want to

just offer

a challenge

to the

casualness

that might

be in

our view

of marriage.

I also

want to

remind you

of the

beauty

and the

wisdom

of living

God's

way.

And so

I wish

I had

ours.

I could

tell you

stories

about this.

I don't

have

ours but

if I

did I

tell you

of Mark

whose

wife came

home

and told

him of

the

colleague

that she

betrayed

him with.

And I

tell you

how he

still lives

with the

hurt

and

struggles

with

trust

but how

he stood

by her

from then

on till

now.

I could

tell you

of Jennifer

whose husband

is an

alcoholic

who hid

it from

her for

years

and still

often

lies about

it now

who keeps

forgiving

him and

supporting

him and

loving him

as he

battles

his addiction.

I tell

you about

a man

called

Sam

a lady

called

Sam

whose

husband

is a

shell

of the

man she

married

because

of the

grip

of

mental

illness

on his

life.

I tell

you about

how much

her life

has changed

in order

to care

for him.

How few

of her

emotional

needs

are met

by him.

How she

faithfully

walks her

lonely

road

alongside

him.

I could

tell you

about

Tom

whose

wife has

dementia

and who

now often

doesn't

recognise

him

and

forgets

his name

and regularly

shouts

abuse at

him and

even

throws

things

at

him.

But I

tell you

about how

he tenderly

brushes her

hair and

how he

patiently

prays for

her and

reads the

Bible to

her with

her in

her calmer

moments.

I tell

you about

Jan who

comes to

terms with

the confusion

that she

feels about

her husband's

repeated visits

to a

prostitute.

I could

tell you

what it

looks like

to be

faithful to

her husband

even though

she feels

sick to

look at

him lots

of times.

I've

changed

the

names

but the

stories are

all true.

Stories of

happy marriages

no

but stories

of Christian

brothers and

sisters who

are as

serious about

marriage as

Jesus is.

Beautiful

stories of

Christians who

treat Matthew

Matthew 19:6

19 verse 6

as if it's a

non-negotiable.

stories of

wise people

who are

deeply

convinced

that God's

way is

best.

So finally

on this

point let

me speak

to those

of you

who are

single and

would like

to be

married.

To those

who hope

for a

husband and

wife.

If you

don't think

that you

could stay

married to

someone who

developed a

serious mental

illness and

was no longer

meeting your

needs then

marriage isn't

for you.

If you

don't think

you could stay

married to

somebody who

broke their

wedding vows then

marriage isn't

for you.

If you

don't think

you could stay

married to

someone whose

personality really

changed and

became unkind and

unresponsive marriage

isn't for you.

If you don't

think you could

stay married to

somebody who

started taking

illicit drugs then

marriage isn't

for you.

The thing about

getting married is

you don't know

what the future

holds.

but you

nevertheless make

binding promises

that bind you to

be a certain

kind of person.

And so unless

you're really up

for richer or

poorer in

sickness or in

health for better

or for worse

then don't walk

down the aisle.

Don't make a

liar out of

yourself before

your family and

friends and before

God.

you'd be better

off like the

disciples

not get married

at all.

Which brings me

to point four

about singleness.

What do the

words of Jesus

mean for those

who are single?

And again two

things.

I think they

mirror what I

said last week

from Genesis 2.

The first is to

acknowledge that

singleness in one

sense is a

deprivation.

What I mean by

that is that the

single person really

is experiencing the

absence of something

good.

Just like Genesis 2

taught us.

Jesus affirms

doesn't he the

essential goodness

of marriage.

A profound unity

of two people

becoming one

flesh.

The rich blessing

of what it is to

be bound to

another person

by God.

And so to not

be married is to

be deprived of

one of God's

blessings.

So it's not a

surprise to find

Jesus talking about

singleness by

discussing the

life of eunuchs.

Because eunuchs

by definition

live life with

deprivation against

their own will.

Although Jesus

acknowledges doesn't

he that some

eunuchs live

voluntarily like

that for the

sake of the

kingdom.

But even if

somebody does

choose to live

this life they

choose to go

without something

good.

And by doing so

they testify that

God himself is

more precious

than his

gifts.

They testify that

God can be

trusted utterly

even in the

face of

deprivation.

deprivation.

So Jesus'

language affirms

here at one

level singleness

is a deprivation

like Genesis 2

does.

Jesus dignifies

the grief that

many single

people feel in

not being

married.

And he affirms

the goodness of

the desire to be

married.

But at the

same time

Jesus is able

to speak about

how in another

way singleness

is better than

marriage.

You notice

that better is

the word that

the disciples

use in verse

10.

It's interesting

isn't it?

Jesus doesn't

contradict them.

What is in the

disciples'

mind is that

singleness might

be better than

the extremely

high commitment

that Jesus

expects of

those who

marry?

And it

seems to me

that if the

question that

the disciples

ask in verse

10 has never

found its way

into your

heart and

to your lips

then you

haven't really

understood what

Jesus is saying

about marriage.

Because if you

haven't grasped

all the

implications of

being joined

to someone

by God

then the

disciples'

question of

verse 10

is an

obvious question

to ask.

Of course

Jesus doesn't

challenge the

disciples for

thinking that

singleness might

be better than

marriage.

He also

suggests a

reason of

his own.

He says in

verse 12

that singleness

might be

better if you

want to serve

the kingdom

of heaven.

Now singleness

is the first

normal state

for every

Christian.

Everyone is

single at some

point in their

life.

Many are

single to begin

with, then

they're married,

and then they're

single again.

But we often

think of, don't

we, singleness

as a kind of

precursor to

marriage.

One writer

calls it a

calling in

incubation.

We think

singleness, well

it has some

value, but only

some value on

the way to

something else.

It's alright as

far as it goes,

but it might be

better when we

graduate to

marriage, but

that's not how

Jesus thinks.

In fact, if we

had time, we

could jump to

Matthew 22,

and read the

passage where

Jesus says

there'll be no

marriage at the

resurrection.

We'd see how

it is that Jesus

argues the

opposite.

He tells us

that marriage is

temporary.

In the end,

singleness is

permanent.

Marriage might be

lifelong, but it's

not eternal.

And that reminds us

again of what we

saw last week.

Marriage is not

ultimate.

Sex is not

ultimate.

intimate.

There's a

greater intimacy

in the universe

than anything that

is possible for

two human beings

to enjoy.

And Jesus

seems to suggest

in Matthew 22

that a day is

coming when the

intimacy of Jesus'

relationship with

his people will

utterly dwarf any

kind of intimacy

we've ever known.

on that day, if a

husband enjoys an

ongoing relationship

with their spouse,

it won't be based