The Indispensable Child

Your heavenly Father, Thank you for loving our children. Help

us to just gather our thoughts today for our children

and the Lord. We ask this in Jesus' name.

Amen.

Our children are indispensable children. We cannot afford to lose

one child.

The loss cannot be measured.

They cannot be replaced, because every single one of them

is special to God and should be special to us.

God will hold us personally accountable if we compromise the

truth with our children, if we sacrificeer Christian standards moral virtues,

if we teach our children to live in the world

and to be of it instead of to not be

of it, he will hold us accountable for that. Our

children are God's gift to us for a little while,

but we are only stewards in our brief time with them.

Our children ultimately belong to God, our Father. God is

a god of children. It is called the Lord of Hosts.

As parents, we are meant to be their angel guardians

of a sort. How many of you like to be

an angel? You realize you're going to be angel humanoid

angels one of these days human angels, because we will

be elevated to take the place of the angels. But

God has appointing you to be an angel in the

life of your children. Right now. You're to be God's

messenger of the coven of grace and of salvation for

your children. Every child has fundamental needs that cannot be

ignored for them to succeed in a journey into God's eternity.

So I wrote this out because I want to give

some advice today to parents.

Is that all right? Okay?

The indispensable child needs a secure attachment relationship with their

parents at the beginning of the journey. Children need to

know that they are safe and uncondition accepted early in

life by mom and dad, or that primary caregiver that

God brings into the life of that child if they

don't have a father and mother. This means more than

just feeding and clothing your children. It means a strong

emotional acceptance that can be felt deep inside their nervous

system where the early emotional mapping of a child occurs.

And that little organ in your brain called the amygdala,

it is the I think it's a Greek word. It

means almond. There is an eye in every child. The

Bible says the eye is the lamp of the body.

The word almend. The almend looks like an eye. The

eye is the lamp of the body. If the eye

is sound, the whole body is full of light. Jesus

said that little almond is developed as a neural mapping

center of the brain for emotional reactions early in life.

So that little eye, that little almend in the child's

brain records trauma, but it also records love and soothing messages. Also,

the allmen maps the mind of the future. Emotionally accepting,

well adapted children with God's guidance, can become emotionally secure

and resilient adults. Jesus says, the eye is the lamp

of the body, so our children need to have that

soothing good messages early in life so that they are

fitted for eternal life and for their future. Without those

secure connections, those love messages felt inside the child before

the child can even speak, children begin to act out

with defiance. They will in time develop anger issues, attachment problems,

and they can have unhealthy pleasing behaviors where they're overly

pleasing rather than balanced in their reactions friends. Children need

rest within their relationship with parents, much as parents need

rest in their relationship with God. How do you want

to feel that you're always on edge because God doesn't

accept you.

Keep your hands down.

How many want to feel that God can accept you

as you're growing, as you're committed to him growing.

Okay, that's where I'm at.

Children need to know that in the family relationship that

mom and dad and essential people in their life accept

them as they grow. Children don't need to be proving

themselves all the time so mommy and Daddy will love

them because of what they do. Like say, you know,

Daddy's not gonna love you. Mommy's not going to love

you unless you're obedient. Don't ever say that. They need

to be able to play, to pray spontaneously, to run,

to laugh, to experience adventure without censure, but in an

atmosphere of rest and acceptance and love. Yes, there is

discipline that is needed, and discipline is important for the

purpose of self esteem. If you don't have boundaries, children

do not have self esteem, but they need these good things.

A child's life ought to be a fun life.

When children cannot rest in the relationships with their parents,

they will scan in their environment to find ways to

prove themselves to their parents so they can earn the

love they should have had as a gift to them

because they are children. When children think that they must

earn their parents' love, they will in time reject God's

love or try to earn God's love. That is how

bad religion gets a start in the home. We teach

a bad view of God accidentally by doing this with

our children. The Holy Sabbath day teaches us that we

are finished by faith before we start. We rest in

our relationship with God. Our children need to do the same. Now,

it's possible you've had kids in your life and you

blew it. Fade is every parent has blown it in

some area. You know it isn't a bad thing to

sit down with your adolescent children or your adult children

and talk about those areas where you could have improved

and open up and watch the healing come into the life.

It's not too late to parent your adult children too. Friends,

we must rest in God's love by accepting his finished

work in our lives. There's no way to underestimate the

importance of the Gospel for our children. Legalism kills relationships

with God. Children will not stay with the Lord if

you're legalistic, but he also won't stay. They also won't

stay with the Lord if you're cheating in your relationship

with God and living worldly lives. Children need to experience

the freedom to fully feel their emotions without censure. Joy, fear, anger,

sadness are all valid feelings. It is true that children

need to be taught self control, but they need to

have those feelings validated by mom and dad that sometimes

they have a hard time controlling. I've been around ministers

who act like it's a bad thing to be authentic.

I was in a gathering. I'm not gonna say where

a how, but where I could tell that if you

expressed your feelings on a subject that they were judgmental friends.

I don't like hanging around pastors, teachers, church members who

do that to me. How many of you want to

be judged every time you crossed the threshold of the church.

How many you don't want to be judged every time

you cross the threshold the church?

That's me?

So I didn't like being around them because they misrepresented

God's love. When ministers give the idea that you can't

have strong feelings, when parents do the same, they misrepresent

a tolerant God. And guess what God has strong feelings?

Do children have strong feelings. Oh, I can remember Donald.

He'd always hide his Omega three talent. You know, he

had dyslexia. Omega three offsets that and that. There's some

research behind that in the Omega three connections. So we

gave him Omega three tablets. We did our best to

get him to swallow those things. Months, actually years later,

I found them underneath the table and that groove that

holds up the table, the slider. He just wouldn't work

with us. I mean I remember him. He would have

seizures sometimes and he'd do his thing and I'd have

to open his mouth to put the medicine in, and

I'm fraid he'd bite my finger off. He didn't want

to take the meds. I love my son. How did

I get on that?

I don't know.

Well, anyway, our kids are not mister Spocks, nor are we.

I don't like being around people that don't validate my feelings.

I'm intense at times, you know. I like not to

hurt people, and I don't want to be hurt. We

should teach that to our children. Friends, God experiences joy, peace, anger, frustration, compassion,

and other feelings, but not fear and foreboding. That would

compromise his moral character that is secure in his unchangeable love.

In the Book of Job, God validates Job's feelings. Doesn't

say Job, don't get angry. He says, Job, let's talk.

He validates it. I remember, I'm not going to go

into the details of it. But my younger son had

a very strong challenge. We send him off to an

academy where things happened that I'm not proud of, and

I had a breakdown in a relationship with him.

And you know what I did.

I took time in the car sitting in the parking

lot of the New Hope church for one or two

hours every week, a few days when needed, and I'd say, Son,

just tell me how you're feeling. Just unload your feelings

on me, and I'm gonna do my best not to

tell you it's bad. And I watched in the course

of that year his anger and resentment turned into acceptance

and he would seek me out to talk. So our

kids don't need us hammering them when they're trying to

do not I've not been great at that. We got

some feedback on that, Mic. I think we're gonna have

to change the channel on it, but not today. So basically,

you know, as I just saw the turnaround to this day,

he'll call me and we'll talk. Look, you'd I'd rather

have a relationship with my son than to be right

with my son all the time.

They need validation of their feelings.

Never punish a child for expressing their feelings honestly to you.

Recognize those feelings, validate them with a hug or an

expression of affection. Discipline them for disobedience and rebellion, yes,

but not for expressing their feelings to you. It is

better to come to you than to come to some

stranger to express their feelings. A hug will do more

to calm a child than a lecture or stare or censure.

And don't ever confuse strong feelings on your child's part

with bad behavior. Children need to be spontaneous, creative, authentic,

and they need to play. I'm not bothered by a

child that occasionally can't help themselves in church when they

occasionally find themselves running with joy in the church. Have

you ever seen that happen in our church? Thanks for

bringing it out. What's wrong? I mean, Look, we want

order in the church, but imagine walking up to the

child's as you should never do that in the church.

What view of God would they get? Now we need

to teach our children respect the sanctuary and all that.

I get it.

It's part of our Pathfinder pledges and the like. But friends,

children not enjoy church. It should be a joyful, happy

place to be. Birthday parties are to be held here

in the church for children. We should make a big

deal about play adventure trips. We had mission trips in

Reaching Arts as history. We went around the world. My

wife took people to Mount Sinai. They slept in bed

and intents. Our kids went to Turkey seven in churches.

We ought to have that again at Reaching Hearts. You know,

our children need to know that it's okay to play

as children. I want you to know I don't have

one problem with that. Let me just stop you one second.

You know when my little boy came up to me

when I was at Sligo and I was preaching, and

he walked all the way down just like you did.

God bless you. Alrighty, No, he heard my sermont. That's

all right, thank you for being here. I have to

share this story with you. Is that all right? We

were at cedar Rich Church, our little kids and it

was one Sabbath, and Diana knows the detail is better

than me. But we had these big stormwater ponds full

of mud, and the kids couldn't help themselves. They went

to the stormwater ponds and they started playing in the mud,

and then they walked right into church. Of course, it

was a scandal. Hell on earth can we have that

going on at Reaching Hearts? And Diana said, well, we

want them in church. And she made light of it

in the sense she didn't make it look like it

was a disaster for the rest of their life.

But they slapped their way into church with all that money.

We've never forgotten it Is that a bad thing in

our memory? Not really, it's a good thing they're in church. Please, parents,

don't substituteute play gadgets, cell phones, movies, overstructured activities that

are compliance based with play. These things are not play.

They destroy the ability of a child to play. I

cut a deal with my children. I said, look, we

have a little TV in our house. We got it

since nine to eleven. Do you want us to focus

on that? Movies coming into the home a little bit

like some families said movie night. I'm not against that necessarily,

I said, I can't. I don't have time for everything.

What if I go fishing or rock climbing or something

one day a week with you guaranteed. If I don't

do it, I'll make it up. And what if I

promise you four weeks a year camping for every season,

including the winter. It was a hard one. It didn't

take him five minutes. You know what they say, forget

the TV. We'd go for the outdoors. And I had

to keep my end of the deal.

Man.

We camped out in the winter with those kids. I

remember it was so cold and I was freezing laying

on the in the tent and they said, Dad, we're

having the best.

Time of our life. I said, yeah, oh huh, you are.

But we caught a big trout over a Liberty reservoir.

That was that was here. You're coming back. I want

you to know. You just keep walking around, enjoy the church.

A Liberty reservoir in the middle of the winter. It

was like it was like unbelievable, and we had the

best experiences of our life. I don't go into all

the stories now. I'd like to focus on some divine

help this morning. How many you help from God to

raise your kids, right, Okay, some divine help. A few

weeks ago, I got into an argument with AI, artificial

intelligence on my computer.

Have you ever done that? No?

I won the argument, but it took some time to

convince AI that AI at time lies.

That's what I did.

I convinced it that it did, and then I made

some moral judgments and it quit talking to me. I

recorded the whole chat. One of these days, I may

share it with you. Yesterday I decided to ask AI

for something good for the five most important Bible scriptures

for children. I was curious what artificial intelligence would come

up with. I like the answer so good, and I'm

going to list the scriptures here. And I think maybe

an angel was guiding AI this time because I agree

with its choices, really home run choices. So don't be

prejudiced toward everything AI does. These passages offer a good

foundation for hope, security, and a necessary moral foundation for

a good future. I agree with AI. Let's look at

the first verse, John three sixteen. I added verse seventeen

for God so loved the world that he gave his

wife only begodden son, that whosoever believes in him should

not perish, but have everlasting life verse seventeen. For God

did not send his son in the world to condemn

the world, but that the world through him might be saved. Friends,

our relationship with God is the foundation of all healthy

relationships in life. This verse teaches us that we belong

to God because God loves us. Our children should be

taught the gospel well, that God loved them enough and

loves them. He gave Jesus for our children, and Jesus

should be on our lips. The Gospel should be on

our lips, and our children should know the atonement for

their sins was for them. I know parents are trying

to convince their children unless they're perfect, they're not going

to make it to heaven. A child does not start

out perfect in life. A child must rest in a

perfection that is in Jesus and an acceptance of their

parents to learn the love of God in their life.

And they don't need to be told that some people

are predestined to be saved and others lost. The whosoever

of John three point sixteen is the whole world. In

the spirit of prophecy, Sister White writes this that when

Jesus died on the cross, he signed the emancipation papers

of the human race in his blood. His arms reached

around the world. And wherever a person will be open

to the Holy Spirit to turn to God in faith,

that person is emancipated by the Cross of Christ. That

is the Apostolic gospel. Our children need to know that

early in life. Now, I had a birthday last Sabbath.

Thank you so much for all those kind cards, thank

you and messages. An unknown person who got the telephone

number from a good somebody in our group who had

changed their phone evidently began to curse me out on

my birthday in that chat room. They're not a member

of our church. About twenty of you know what I'm

talking about. A most unusual birthday reading. It was, I

must confess. Samuel called me on the phone from college

because he was in the chat group and he was

concerned for me. Now, I love and appreciate Samuel. Samuel,

I'm grateful you're here today.

Oh.

Empathy is foundational for moral structure, and Samuel is showing

empathy and care for me. For me, it became a

teaching moment for us. Together, we had a talk. We

talked about the importance of kindness. That this dear deluded person,

whoever they are out there, needs God's grace, his love,

our kindness, not a reaction. So Samuel and I drafted

up a response. I ran it by him. We finally

agreed it would probably work. He wasn't sure. I wasn't sure,

but I hit the sin key. Here's what it said. God,

bless you, dear heart in Jesus. I hope the best

for you. May God's mercy and grace shine on you

as he on me and my family. He literally cursed

out my family with words I won't repeat. And then

another church member wrote me to encourage me. Others in

that chat group tried to do the same as I did,

and they begin to send messages of love of gospel

peace to.

This dear person. We don't even know who it is. Friends.

Love is a good thing in life and everyone deserves love,

including the person that goes a after you. I was

so proud of our church on that chet group. We

never win by being mean and blowing up and cursing

someone who is unkind to us or we think is unkind.

I don't want to hurt people, and I don't want

people to hurt me.

Are you with me.

We need to keep God's love constant or mind, so

we don't respond in the flesh to others who don't

realize it. So for God so love the world that

he gave Jesus, So what does that do to us?

We should love others too. Passage number two is Psalms

twenty three one to three. This passage represents the powerful

provisional care of God for our children. Our children need

This verse the Lord is my what shepherd I shall

not want. Next verse he makes me to lie down

in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He

restores my soul. He leads me to the paths of

righteousness for his name's sake. God's name is God's law

in the Scriptures, his character, his identity because of who

he is in his law of justice and mercy.

Mercy.

First, he leads us in paths of righteousness. God is

a secure being for our children. This passage provides a

simple but powerful image of God as the confident protector

and provider of little children. God cares for our children.

God helps our children. God sends angels to our children.

He provides passage number three Ephesians four thirty two, and

be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another. Why

what's the reason given in the verse? Even as God,

how in Christ forgave you? Now, Paul says, God was

in Christ not holding our trespasses against us at the cross.

So what was God doing in Jesus Christ on the

cross of Calvary? According to that verse? What was he doing?

He was forgiving us in Jesus. Now you need to

ask for that forgiveness for your sake. But was God

unforgiving before you ask?

Not at all?

God was in Christ forgiving the human race, And Jesus said, Father,

forgive them. They know not what they do. And God

did in Christ. Humanity was forgiven, the sin of Adam

was atoned for, and new ground for the human race

was achieved by His victory on the cross.

This is important.

Kindness and character are not optional virtues for our children.

They are indispensable virtues rooted in the forgiveness, the kindness

and the character of God manifested in Jesus Christ. This

passage offers a practical standard for how children should treat

their peers and their family members also and how parents

should relate to children. It provides the basis for sincere

kindness rooted in the character and love of God. Our

children should be taught kindness. We should model kindness. We

should do an emotional pulse to make sure we're not

unkind and correct our ways. This passage provides the basis

for character development. It should be the goal of true

religion to make our children good people, not just religious people,

but good people with mercy, love, compassion, honor, courage, character

and kindness. Kindness is king in God's kingdom because God

is kind. Passage number four is Joshua one nine. Have

I not commanded you?

I like this one. If I had a guitar, I'd

actually play this right now.

I wrote a song for the kids in the Marshall Islands,

and I we'll have to do that one week here.

Have I not commanded you? What does it say?

Be strong? Have you ever had bad courage? You ever

had bad courage? Well, I'm going to hang in there.

You know that's bad courage. What's good courage? Help me out?

I'm going to hang in there with an optimistic courage?

Is that good courage? Bad courage is as whiny win.

I'm just gonna hang in there and do my best.

Be strong enough good courage. Do not be afraid nor

be dismayed. You have to get a panic attack when

something crazy happens. My wife told me last night that

a package that we returned to Amazon, which was very expensive.

It was returned because the sender had a return label,

but they build us again for it because they didn't

get it. Well, that wasn't my fault, was it. But

you know the first feeling I had was oh, oh my,

and she said, don't worry about it. My wife is

an example of this. Do not be afraid nor be

made for the Lord your God. What what's the reason

for courage? He's with you wherever you go. God is

with us. John Wesley struggled with this feeling all his life.

He wondered if there was any way he could be

accepted of God. He was the greatest preacher of the

post Reformation era and what we call the Pietus Awakening.

He won one million people to Jesus Christ, but struggled

with his own acceptance, but it broke through. On his deathbed,

God helped him through the weeds and he died saying

God is with us. God is with us. God is

with us. Friends, we have courage, not because we're good people.

We have courage, not because we have achieved a righteousness

that's good enough for the judgment day. We have courage

because God is with us, and God in Jesus has

a right now righteousness good enough for the judgment day

and every day of our life, so that we are

His children. That's why John says it it does not

yet appear what we shall be, but we know that

when he appears, would be like him. He says, we

are the children of God. Now we rest in what

Jesus has done for us, and that's how we grow.

But fear can get in the way. I remember my

younger son calling me on the phone at college. You

have college aged kids, anybody here, Okay, gets dramatic call

me on the phone and said Dad. I said, yeah,

he is. I'm failing. I'm gonna fail this exam tomorrow.

I just can't. I'm not gonna make it. I already

know it. I mean, I'm just not gonna make it.

I said, really, I said, Well, here's what I'm gonna do.

While you're studying all night. I'm going to be praying

all night. I'll be right there with you, even though

I'm in Maryland, you're in Tennessee. He said, what are

you gonna do? Dad, I'm going to stay up all

night praying for you, that you do your best and

we'll leave the consequences of God. I stayed up all

night praying. He got a great score. I got lousy

sleep to me two or three days to recover.

From that stuff.

But you see, he knew I was with him in

the journey. Is God with you when you're struggling, you

thank God prays for you. Hebrews seven twenty five says

Jesus always lives to make intercession for us. He is

praying for you every moment of your life with the

power of an indestructible life. According to the Hebrews, you

cannot fail with the presence of the Lord in your life.

Passage number five claus is three twenty children, obey your

parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to

the Lord.

Ouch.

Well, look at the kids coming from the fifth commandment

Exus twenty twelve. It's the commandment of the Promise. Honor

your father and your mother, that your days may be

what so disrespectful children won't live long. You got to

teach respect to your children that your days may be

long upon the land which the Lord your God has

given you. When I see children parents encouraging this respect

or modeling disrespect in their relationships, they're sabotaging their children

for ruin. Our children need to learn to respect God,

their parents, and others. Obedience and respect is the basis

of all law and all healthy relationships. The fifth commandment

defines a child's primary responsibility within the family, and it

connects their daily actions to their relationship with God and

their future. I'm tired of experts, philosophical psychological experts telling

the church and parents that they can just allow their

children to be rebels. God doesn't want that. He wants committed, faithful,

respectful children in the church thinkers, yes, but respectful. The

first five books of the Bible are foundational. Why is

the fifth commandment the respect commandment? Because there were five

books in the tar the five books of the Law

of Moses. Five is the number for God's law is

the foundation of all truth. Number five the fifth commandment

the foundation of truth and relationships. That we respect our parents.

Children learn to respect God's word, and when they respect

their parents and when they honor and obey them. In

the Lord, God promises a good future for every child

who will honor and respect their parents.

Children. Do you hear me?

How many of you want to live long? Raise your hand? Children?

We can raise our hands too. Respect your parents, respect

your pastors, respect others, but your parents. Children learn to

honor and obey God by honoring obeying their parents, and

God will honor them. I'd like to end by simply

saying this, May God in Jesus bless all our indispensable children.

Can I hear and amen to affirm that?

Okay? With them?

Emotional security, with rest in the relationships, the validation freedom

from fear, and joy and love and respect and kindness

and characters that our Holy Spirit led. Can we say

it again? May God bless our children that way? God

bless you all in Jesus. You're indispensable.

We love you.

Do you have any father? We don't want to lose

our children. We don't want to lose ourselves. Boy, it's

easy to feel lost and alone. Lord, encourage every parent

here today that they're your children. That the things you're

asking them to do for them, you do for them.

That the way you want them to respond to their

children's exactly how you do with them, and so Father,

thank you for being our father, God, thank you for

the Lord's prayer where Jesus calls you our father. Thank

you our father, and just bless and keep your people.

Lord.

May you bless the food as we have the blessing

right here, and blessed the fellowship and all those.

Who prepared it. And Jesus name, Amen, Amen,