S2E18 When Doubt is not the enemy

Welcome to the Spray United Methodist Church Podcast.

My name is Hoyt, and I'm so glad you're here.

Today we're talking about something many believers are afraid to admit out loud doubt.

And here's the truth I had to learn the hard way.

Doubt is not the enemy.

There were seasons in my life when doubt didn't just visit, it settled in.

Not loudly, not all at once, it came quietly, almost politely.

A thought here, a question there, and over time those thoughts began to stack up.

I still believed in God, I still knew the stories, I still showed up.

But something underneath it all had shifted.

There was a whisper I couldn't seem to silence.

What if you're wrong?

What if this faith isn't real?

What if God is tired of you?

And those questions didn't make me angry, they made me uncertain.

And uncertainty creates distance.

I didn't walk away from church buildings, but I did drift away from closeness with Jesus.

Prayer became shorter, then quieter, then less frequent.

Reading scripture felt more like an obligation than a connection.

And little by little, without even realizing it, I stopped bringing my heart honestly before God.

Not rebellion, not rejection, just distance.

A slow drifting that happened so quietly you don't even know how far you've gone.

Looking back, I can see the mistake I made.

I thought real Christians don't doubt.

I thought faith meant never questioning, never struggling, never feeling unsure.

So when doubt came, I didn't bring it to Jesus.

I hid it.

And what we hide grows.

But Scripture tells a very different story.

John the Baptist asked, Are you the coming one or do we look for another?

The man who baptized Jesus had doubt.

But he went to Jesus.

He didn't hide him from him.

He went straight out to him and asked.

Thomas.

Thomas needed to see the wounds before his doubt would go away.

David cried out, Why, O Lord, do you stand far off?

These are not weak men of faith.

These are real people who brought real questions to a real God.

And somewhere along my road something began to change.

Not all at once, but clearly.

I started to realize something simple but life-changing.

Jesus was never afraid of my questions.

Every time I turned, even slightly back toward Christ, I didn't find anger.

I didn't find disappointment.

I found open arms, like the Father running toward the prodigal son.

My doubt had never been the real problem.

The real danger was believing the lie.

The doubt meant Jesus didn't want me anymore.

Now when doubt comes, and it still does, I handle it differently.

I don't run from Jesus.

I run to Him.

I bring the questions, I bring the uncertainty, I bring the parts of my heart that don't feel strong.

And instead of distance, I find peace.

Not because I suddenly have all the answers, but because I'm no longer facing the questions alone.

Maybe you're listening right now and you're carrying questions of your own.

Maybe your faith feels weaker than it used to.

Maybe you feel like you've drifted farther than you ever intended.

Hear this gently.

You are not failing God.

If your heart is still reaching for Him, even weakly, even through doubt, even through tears, that's reaching is faith.

And the one you are reaching toward is already reaching toward you.

Let us pray.

Lord Jesus, for the ones listening who feel weak in faith today, be gentle with their heart.

Turn their questions into deeper trust.

Turn their wanderings into coming home.

Turn their doubts into a doorway of peace and remind them that you are never afraid of an honest soul.

Amen.

Thank you for joining me on the Spray United Methodist Church podcast.

If you do not have a church home, we invite you to worship with us at Spray United Methodist Church, located at eight oh three Morgan Road in Eden, North Carolina.

We are a loving family who loves God and loves people.

All people.