S2E32 Loving without Agreement

Hello, my friends, and welcome back to the Spray UMC Podcast.

I'm Hoyt.

Today I want to talk about something I still struggle with.

How to love someone when we disagree.

When someone confronts me or strongly disagrees with me, I often become quiet.

It is not always because I have nothing to say.

Sometimes I remain silent because I do not trust myself to disagree and still show the love of Christ.

I do not want anger to control my words.

I do not want to say something that will damage another person.

But remaining silent is not always the same as making peace.

Sometimes comes from wisdom, but sometimes it comes from fear.

So how do we speak honestly, stand by our convictions, and still love the person standing before us?

We sometimes act as though loving someone means approving of everything that person believes or does.

But agreement and love are not the same thing.

Jesus never compromised the truth.

He spoke clearly about sin, repentance, and obedience to God, yet he also treated people with compassion, dignity, and mercy.

Ephesians four, fifteen tells us, but speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into him who is the head, Christ.

Notice that that scripture holds truth and love together.

Truth without love can become harsh and cruel.

Love without truth can become empty and dishonest.

Christ calls us to speak the truth, but he also cares about the spirit in which we speak it.

James 1 nineteen says, My dear brothers and sisters, understand this.

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

Listening does not mean that I agree.

It means that I care enough to understand what the other person is actually saying.

Too often we listen only long enough to prepare our reply.

While the other person is still speaking, we are already building our argument.

We are not trying to understand, we are trying to win.

But people are not arguments to be defeated.

Listening may not change my convictions, but it may change how I see the person.

It may help me recognize the pain, fear, or life experience behind the words I'm hearing.

The person who disagrees with me is not merely an opinion, a political position, or a label.

That person is someone created in the image of God.

When I reduce someone to a label, it becomes easier to dismiss them.

I stop seeing a person and begin seeing an opponent.

Jesus did not command us to love only the people who agree with us.

He even commanded us to love our enemies.

That does not mean pretending that every idea is true.

It means refusing to treat another human being as though he or she has no value.

We can disagree with a person's belief without attacking that person's worth.

Jesus taught that what comes out of our mouths reveals what is living in our hearts.

Disagreement has a way of bringing hidden things to the surface.

It can expose anger, pride, bitterness, impatience, or the desire to prove that we are right.

Before I respond, I need to ask myself, what will my words reveal about my heart?

Am I trying to help someone understand?

Or am I trying to embarrass them?

Am I defending the truth or am I defending my pride?

Do my words sound like someone who has been changed by Jesus Christ?

Sometimes the right response is to speak gently.

Sometimes it is to remain quiet.

Sometimes it is to say, I hear what you're saying, but I do not agree.

We do not need to win every argument, but we should always seek to honor Christ.

Romans twelve, eighteen says, If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

I appreciate the honesty of that verse.

Paul says, if possible, some disagreements will not be resolved.

We may listen carefully, speak respectfully, and still walk away believing different things.

Our responsibility is not to force agreement.

Our responsibility is to do everything within our power to live at peace.

I cannot control another person's response.

I can control whether I answer with patience or anger.

I can control whether my words heal or wound.

I can control whether I treat someone as a neighbor or as an enemy.

Jesus said in John 13, 35, by this everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.

People are watching how Christians treat those who disagree with them.

Our behavior may tell them more about our faith than our arguments ever will.

If we speak about the love of Christ while treating others with contempt, our words lose their meaning.

I am still learning how to do this.

I do not always know what to say when someone disagrees with me.

But perhaps the goal is not to have the perfect response.

Perhaps the goal is to remember that the person standing before me is someone Christ commands me to love.

We can disagree without becoming enemies.

We can speak truth without cruelty.

We can listen without surrendering our convictions.

And though it through it all we can ask Christ to make his love visible in us, let us pray.

Lord Jesus, teach us to speak the truth with love.

Help us listen before we answer and see every person as someone created in your image.

Guard our hearts against anger, pride, and bitterness.

When agreement is impossible, help us remain patient, respectful, and faithful to you.

May our words and actions show others the love we have received from you.

In your holy name we pray.

Amen.

Thank you for joining me today.

If you do not have a church home, we would love to have you worship with us at Spray United Methodist Church, located at 803 Morgan Road in Eden, North Carolina.

We are a loving church where we love God and love people.

All people.

Until next time, may the grace of God rise before you and keep you safe.

Goodbye.