Instructions on the Care for Widows

1 Timothy chapter 5 tonight.

1 Timothy 5 · chapter mention

We've talked the last couple of weeks about being on guard.

There are all kind of demonic influences and evil teachings and we have to be on guard.

We have to know the truth of God's Word.

We have to have a knowledge of who God is.

We have to train ourself up in godliness.

We have to be committed to God's Word and that's what we talked about in 1 Timothy chapter

1 Timothy 4 · chapter mention

4.

Tonight we will start 1 Timothy chapter 5.

1 Timothy 5 · chapter mention

Lord willing we'll get through verse 16, kind of a big section.

We'll read the book of the chapter tonight.

And the book of this chapter has to do with support for widows and how the church should

support widows and what some of those qualifications may be.

I wouldn't say this passage is a difficult passage necessarily.

However it's not super clear as to maybe what some of these things mean.

But nonetheless I think we can see the point of what Paul is saying even if we don't have

all the details we would like to know exactly what's going on.

There's certainly some difference of opinion on here.

I'll teach it as best as I understand it.

But you may have a different opinion and that's okay.

But we'll pray and then we'll get started.

Father God we come to you.

We thank you for your good word.

And I pray that your Holy Spirit would be with us tonight, that you'd be with me, that

I preach and teach in a way that brings glory and honor to you.

I pray these words would be good instruction for us tonight.

They are good instruction God if we would listen.

Dear Lord we want to be those who hear this same message that was given to the people

of Ephesus that we would learn in these same ways.

That we would ourselves grow in you and be an example to others.

So I pray God that your Holy Spirit would be with us and let everything tonight be for

your glory.

In Jesus name I pray it.

Amen.

Now before we begin to talk about the issue of the widows here there's a couple of verses

here at the beginning that deal with a couple of other things.

Verse one.

Do not rebuke an older man but exhort him as a father.

Younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and with all propriety the young women as

sisters.

Now I think this is these two verses are simply telling us to treat people with respect and

it gives some examples.

And it says here you know do not rebuke an older man but what does it say?

But exhort him as a father.

Younger man as brothers, older women as your mother, young women treat them properly.

Okay?

This is good advice for us whether we are a man or a woman especially good advice for

young people that we are respectful to older men and older women and people who are our

age that we treat them like we would treat our brother.

We treat them like we treat our sister especially so for young men when they are with young

women that they treat them properly.

This is good basic simple instruction.

However I maybe this instruction is not so good for this day and age.

He says treat people like you treat your parents.

Well some people don't treat their parents very good.

And so perhaps before people can learn to treat others with respect especially with

younger people this day and age they need to learn how to treat their own parents with

respect.

They need to learn how to treat their father and mother with respect and to honor their

father and mother.

And so perhaps there has to be a whole other step that has to come along before you can

say treat other people like your parents because many times today you see children that are

very disrespectful to their parents or grandparents.

So that's a lesson that we want to learn.

We want to learn that hopefully while we are young and if we haven't learned it up to this

point we need to we need to learn that.

If we need to learn how to honor our parents and we need to learn how to treat those who

are older than us with respect and with honor and those who are our our same age we need

to treat them as brothers and sisters.

So it's good basic simple advice.

It's good for all of us and easy for us to understand.

Verse three support widows who are genuinely widows.

Now we'll kind of unpack what he's talking about here as we get into this this particular

topic.

Now what appears to be going on here this is the best I can understand it.

This this this may not be the correct interpretation but you can study it some more if you'd like

to.

So what I believe is going on in this passage is he's talking about there are certain widows

that that qualify for some support from the church and he's going to give some of those

qualifications as he goes on as to who qualifies for support and who doesn't qualify for support.

And so when he says here those who are genuinely widows what he's saying is those who meet

the qualifications that are about to be given as we read through these next few verses.

All right.

Verse four but if any widow has children or grandchildren they must learn to practice

practice godliness toward their own family first and to repay their parents for this

pleases God.

OK.

So it's good for us as brothers and sisters in Christ that make up a church that make

up a body of Christ.

It's good for us to help the widows.

We see that repeatedly through the scriptures through the Old Testament through the New

Testament.

It's pretty clear that God wants people to help the widows.

There's there's no there's no issue there.

That's a good thing for the church to do.

However what Paul says here is that it's the responsibility of the children and the grandchildren

first to take care of those who are widowed.

So when he's talking about those who are genuinely widowed I believe what he's talking about

are those who really do have nobody else.

Now you might can think of somebody.

You probably can think of a widow that really has nobody else to take care of them.

Now that responsibility falls first and foremost to the kids and to the grandkids.

Now that's important for us to know those of us.

Maybe we have a grandparent a grandmother who is widowed or a mother who is widowed

is very important for those of us who are children or grandchildren to realize that

it's our responsibility based on the word of God to take care of those who are widowed.

Now there are certainly some widows that we know and while their parents I mean their

children and grandchildren should take care of them they do not.

So shame on those children and grandchildren that do not take care of their of their widows

and in that case they would certainly fall into the category of those who need help.

We wouldn't say well it's up to your kids they should be taking care of you so we're

not going to help.

I don't think that's what Paul is saying here.

I think that that's not what scripture would teach us or the heart of scripture would want

us to have.

It certainly is the responsibility of children and grandchildren but sometimes children and

grandchildren fail in that responsibility but nonetheless the responsibility is pointed

out and we need to take this responsibility serious.

It says they must learn to practice godliness toward their own parents first and repay their

parents for this pleases God.

Now we need to think about this.

Now you may see sometimes maybe you know children like this or maybe you've seen children like

this and and the parents begin to get older and they begin to slow down and they need

a lot of help.

That's just the way it is as we get older we need a little help.

We need help doing stuff around the house.

We need help getting to the doctor.

We sometimes are sick and need somebody to be there with us and it's a lot of work and

it's a big responsibility and sometimes it takes some of our time and sometimes we're

tired and may not feel like it but that responsibility is there and sometimes it takes some of our

money.

And so Paul says here look this is good for the children and the grandchildren to take

care of the widow and I believe also to a man or woman as far as that goes but we have

to remember that there was a time in our life that we were nothing but a wee little tiny

baby and our parents took care of us and it was not easy on them.

They had to work long hours.

They had to sacrifice things they wanted.

They had to take care of us when we were tired.

They had to sacrifice their money and the things that they wanted to do and so we need

to remember that when we begin to get older and our parents begin to get older especially

those who are widows that yeah it might it might take a little work on our part but we're

simply as Paul would say here we're repaying them for what they've done.

They took care of us when we were unable to take care of ourselves and the cycle of life

should be that we would take care of our parents when they are no longer to take care of themselves

and that's the way that things should be and this is a godly way for us to live our life

and this is what Paul would call us to.

Verse 5, the real widow left all alone has put her hope in God and continues night and

day in her petitions and prayers.

So it seems as though as we continue to read this passage that Paul is making this distinction

between real widows or genuine widows and those that are not real or not genuine.

Now that's not to say that they have not lost their husband.

There are certainly some who have lost their husband but what I believe Paul is doing here

is making a distinction.

He's saying that some who are widows have essentially committed themselves to God.

They're not seeking another husband.

They're trying to get by.

They don't have help from their family and they need the help of the church.

They need the help of brothers and sisters in Christ and these are those who are completely

dependent on the church because they're not going to get another husband.

So they're completely dependent on God and they're seeking God and they're trusting

God to provide for them and God does so oftentimes through you and I, through brothers and sisters

in Christ, through the church.

So this is the distinction I believe he's making when he talks about real widows and

genuine widows is those who have become dependent on God, of those who have said, all right,

I'm giving myself to God in service to God and maybe even in service to the community

of believers here possibly.

That's a possibility and so that's what he's talking about when he says real widows.

Now there are certainly other widows that he is soon to address that are real widows

nonetheless but maybe they have not committed themselves to God in the same way as these

that he would consider genuine or real.

Verse six, however, she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives.

Command this also so they won't be blamed.

So it appears as though, and we'll see more of this as we continue to read the passage,

that there are some who are widowed and in need and they're seeking and trusting in the

Lord but yet there are others who are widowed and they are self-indulgent or they're taking

what they get and they're kind of using the church but they're also looking for another

man.

It's not that their husband isn't legitimately dead.

They may legitimately be a widow but they're not dependent on the church but maybe they're

taking what the church is giving them nonetheless.

And so what does he say here?

He says command this so they won't be blamed.

Now maybe he's saying so that the church who is helping widows won't be blamed for not

doing right one way or another by giving to somebody who's undeserving or by not giving

to someone who is deserving.

Or maybe when he talks about so that they won't be blamed, maybe he's talking about

these widows who aren't doing right.

Maybe they should be doing one thing and they're not doing it.

And so this instruction that he's giving to Timothy, this command is so that they'll realize

what's right from wrong so that they will do the right thing.

All right.

Verse eight, but if anyone does not provide for his own, excuse me, but if anyone does

not provide for his own, that is his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than

an unbeliever.

Now that is a strong passage.

When Paul says here that it is our responsibility to take care of the widows, that is those

who are children and grandchildren, it's our responsibility first, he says, if you don't

take care of your own household, you are worse than an unbeliever.

Now maybe what he's saying there is even the ungodly know how to take care of their widows.

That could be what he's saying here.

Perhaps he's saying these people may not even be Christians.

If their attitude is such that they're not even willing to take care of their mother

or their grandmother, then maybe they're not really believers at all.

This is really strong language.

If anyone does not provide for his own, that is his own household, he has denied the faith,

denied the faith.

Now this is serious.

This is not just all so and so's a bad son or a bad daughter because they didn't take

care of their mother.

Paul uses strong language here.

He says that such a person who professes to be a Christian and yet denies to take care

of their family is denied the faith and they are worse than an unbeliever.

Now that's pretty strong language.

Now in the context here, certainly talking about those who are taking care of widows,

however, it might not be out of context to apply this passage really to anyone who's

taking care of their family, to any man who's supposed to be taking care of his family.

It might not be out of bounds to say that this passage would be applicable in those

situations.

That if you're not willing to take care of your family and to take care of your household,

then you're not doing a good job, man.

If you profess to be a follower of Jesus Christ and you're not taking care of your household,

then you have failed.

Paul says here, you denied the faith and you're worse than an unbeliever.

Now that stings right there and maybe it should sting.

Maybe if we hear that passage and it stings, that might be a good thing.

I think that's what Paul would want.

That's what God would want for us to hear God's word, even that part that stings, that

wakes us up so that we do what's right.

Verse nine, no widow should be placed on the official support list unless she is at least

60 years old, has been the wife of one husband, and we'll stop there in mid sentence.

Okay, so here we have a little more context.

What is he talking about here?

He's talking about some type of support list and your translations may use different words

there.

But it appears as though he's saying, okay, the church has some type of official list,

which appears to be widows who are going to receive some continual support from the church.

That is, those who are genuine, those who are not seeking remarriage, those who are

seeking the Lord and trusting the Lord, those who have no other means of support, who aren't

going to make it otherwise, those are the ones who qualify for the list.

Those are the ones who are on the list.

Now, that's not to say that maybe there aren't occasions where you would help people that

don't meet these qualifications.

I think we need to think about that.

He's fixing to give us a list of qualifications and we may look at this list and say, well,

golly, this widow, she's out there and she needs help, but she don't meet these qualifications,

so maybe we shouldn't help them.

Well, I think what he's talking about here is a list of widows probably that are receiving

continual support.

There are certainly needs that are going to arise and we certainly want to help the poor

and the needy.

And sometimes the poor and the needy are poor and needy and widows all at the same time.

And so that's not to say I don't believe that there might not be occasions where there's

a widow that maybe doesn't meet the qualification in particular that I'm thinking of here of

being 60 years old.

Maybe you know a widow that's 40 years old and you say, I can't help her, she's 40.

Well, there may be occasion that we need to do such things.

And so he says, look, there's a list and there's some qualifications for that list.

And one of the qualifications is that they have to be at least 60 years old.

Now, what is the reason for this?

Well, it might just be a very simple reason.

And that is a woman who is under 60 years old is still young enough that she may can

get remarried should she choose to.

Women who are over 60 years old, 70 years old, 80 years old, it's unlikely that they're

going to get remarried.

They're not going to be very attractive, maybe physically or maybe just in the sense that,

well, they can't bear anybody, any children.

So if a man's looking for a wife to bear children or to raise children or raise a household,

if they're at a certain age, they simply may not be able to do so.

And so it may just be a very practical thing.

If they're over 60, then there's probably a greater chance that they're going to need

more support because there's not going to be a man in their life.

If they're under 60, if they're 30 or 40 years old, and heaven forbid something happens to

their husband, well, chances are they're probably going to be remarried.

They're still young, they still got good health, they still can have children.

And so a younger woman might not be in such a predicament as an older woman.

And so they might choose to seek another husband.

And in that case, then the church shouldn't be supporting them because they're going to

be able to work and kind of take care of a little bit and find a husband ultimately to

take care of them.

It's not to say that maybe the church doesn't help in some way, but they're not to be put

on this list that Paul's talking about, is those who really need the support of the church.

So first qualification needs to be at least 60 years old, has been the wife of one husband.

Now we're familiar with this phrase because we saw this when we saw the qualifications

for a pastor or an elder and it said to be the husband of one wife.

Now we talked in great detail about what that statement could mean.

Some have said can't be divorced.

However, that's not what it says.

Maybe that's what it meant.

Regardless, we see that it's the same statement here, same idea.

So whatever Paul meant earlier when he said that about elders, he probably means the same

thing here in this passage when he says that they must be the wife of one husband.

Okay.

So what does that mean?

Well, what if somebody was divorced and now they're a widow or what if they were married

before and everything was perfect in their marriage and their husband died and they remarried

a second time?

Does that mean that they are disqualified from receiving any help?

Well, that doesn't really seem like it would fit too good.

I mean, if somebody's 20 years old, they just got married and they lose their husband and

they remarried, is Paul saying that they're penalized and the church should not help such

women?

I don't think Paul is saying that because what he's fisting to say in a few verses is

he's about to encourage young women to marry.

So I don't think that that's what Paul means here.

I think probably what Paul means is that he's speaking of one who has been faithful in their

marriage.

Maybe when it says the wife of one husband, that is to say she's not been with a bunch

of men.

That is to say she don't have but one husband and three or four boyfriends.

I think what he's saying is that a woman who has been faithful, a woman whose character

is good, a woman who is godly, a woman who doesn't sleep around with a lot of men, but

a woman who has been faithful in her marriage.

And we see these qualities that he's fisting to list.

So he says 60 years old, he says the wife of one husband, and then he goes on to list

a bunch of other good qualities.

Verse 10, and is well known for good works.

Okay, so as we begin to look at this list, he talks about that it should be evident that

these are godly women, that the church here is focusing on helping Christian women, women

who are in the church, helping those who are unable to help themselves when their spouse

dies.

And so as we see in the scriptures, you know a tree by its fruit.

And so what does he say?

A woman who has done good works and listen to what these good works are.

That is if she has brought up children, shown hospitality, washed the saints feet, helped

the afflicted, and devoted herself to every good work.

Okay, so it should be evident.

The traits of a godly woman are kind of spelled out for us here, that they've brought up their

children.

That is brought up their children in a good way.

They've raised their children and they've turned out to be good children.

They're respectful children.

They're children that aren't getting in trouble.

What's the next thing?

To show hospitality.

This is a good list for women to look at, especially young women.

If we're going to be godly women, then how are we to live?

Well, here we have.

Raise your children right.

Be a good mother.

That's important.

That should go without saying.

That should come natural.

But sadly in our world today, it doesn't come natural.

There's a lot of mothers that aren't good mothers.

And they need a godly woman in their life.

They need the word of God in their life to encourage them and say, you need to raise

your child in a godly way.

You need to tell them the word of God.

You need to teach them right from wrong.

You need to get on to them when they do wrong.

You need to encourage them when they're down.

You need to be there for them.

You need to provide for them.

You need to let them know that you love them.

This is important.

Motherhood is important.

And that's what Paul is saying here.

A woman needs to be known for her good works.

And one of those things is how she raises her children.

Show hospitality.

Okay.

You want to be hospitable to people.

That's pretty self-explanatory.

You want to be kind to people.

You see somebody that needs water, you give them some water, whatever it may be.

I mean, you may see little things and little ways that you can help and you can be hospitable.

Wash the saints feet.

Now, we can take that literally.

There's certainly nothing wrong with washing the saints feet, but I think we can look at

that in a broader picture.

That is be a servant to people.

Serve those who need help.

Now, maybe you've never washed somebody's feet before, but there are certainly opportunities

that we have to serve people.

And sometimes they're kind of dirty opportunities.

They're things that we don't really want to do, but we do them because we love people.

And this is the kind of qualities that Paul is talking about here.

Help the afflicted and devoted herself to every good work.

So these are good qualities for women to live by.

And these are the qualifications that he says are those who are going to make those genuine

widows and those real widows.

These are the qualities that they need to look for.

These are the people that Paul says that brothers and sisters in Christ need to help out.

Then in verse 11, he talks about those who need to be refused, but refuse to enroll younger

widows.

Now, why is that?

Is there some reason why younger widows shouldn't be helped?

Well, there is a reason that he gives.

And he says, for when they are drawn away from Christ by desire, they want to marry

and therefore receive condemnation because they have renounced their original pledge.

Now, this is a little tricky.

Again, this is when I say it's hard to know exactly what's being said here because it

talks about them renouncing their original pledge.

Well, what is that pledge?

Well, it doesn't clearly say, but we see a difference between the real widow and the

genuine widow mentioned before.

And what was that?

That they have kind of devoted themselves to God, that they're trusting God, that they're

praying continually.

They're not looking for another man, but they're content to seek God for their help.

That seems to be the difference here between the older person and the younger person.

Because what does it say about the younger person?

It says that they may want to marry and be drawn away from their pledge, be drawn away

from Jesus.

That is to say, maybe sometimes young women were pledging, young widows, and saying, oh,

I'm going to be devoted to Jesus Christ and I'm going to serve and I'm going to remain

single.

And then they begin to receive help from the church, but then they begin to look for another

man and then they begin to look for marriage.

And then they're taking from the funds of the church that could be going to someone

who really needs it.

And they're going back on their pledge, whatever that pledge may be.

And so Paul is given some qualifications here and some instructions here of these are the

ones you need to help and these are the ones you need to refuse.

And he gives us a reason why, even if it's not super clear.

But then he continues on to clarify here in verse 13.

At the same time, they also learn to be idle, going from house to house.

They are not only idle, but are also gossips and busybodies saying things they shouldn't

say.

So it appears as though these younger women are not trusting in God.

They're getting some support possibly from the church.

And yet, while the church is footing the bill, they're just being idle.

They're going around spending their time gossiping and being busybodies and getting everybody's

business and not making any effort to work and contribute to society and get back on

their feet.

And they're kind of leeching off the church maybe is what it sounds like here.

So Paul says, hey, we don't want to support that.

Now, certainly there may be young widows sometime who have a genuine need.

And I believe that the church needs to help those widows get back on their feet.

But it sounds like what's going on here with these young people that's being addressed

is that they weren't trying to get on their feet.

They were just getting the church's money and they were doing whatever they wanted to

do.

And Paul says, that's not a good thing.

That's not the way it should be.

Verse 14, therefore, so he's just to give them instruction.

He says, some of the young women are doing this.

Some of the young widows are doing this.

But he says, this is what you need to do young women.

And this is true not just for widows, but for any young woman.

Verse 14, therefore, I want younger women to marry, have children, manage their household

and give the adversary no opportunity to accuse us.

Now, this is the instruction of Paul, but this instruction would not be very popular

in our world today.

It would not be popular among women today.

If you went to a college campus today and you read them the word of God and said, this

is what God wants you to do.

This is how you can find joy and fulfillment, women, to marry, have children, stay home

and raise those children.

Women today don't want to hear that.

Women today are taught, no, you don't need to have children.

You need to put it off.

You need to have a career.

Don't worry about children.

They'll slow you down.

But that's just the opposite of what God's word says here.

And so God's word says, look, find a good man, raise a good family, be a good mother.

And that's what Paul says here to these widows.

That's why I don't think he's disqualification before where it said the wife of one husband.

I don't think he's saying if someone is lost one husband and married again, that that disqualifies

them from any help in the future because he turns right around here and speaks to these

young women who are widows.

And he says, you need to marry.

You need to find you a man and you need to marry and you need to have children because

you're young and you're strong and you're able to work and you're able to raise children

and you're able to be a good wife and you're able to take care of a man.

And this is what you need to do.

And what's the purpose of that?

It's going to keep them from getting in trouble because what would they be doing otherwise?

They would be idle and gossips and busybodies.

And he says, look, young women, you don't want to fall into that trap.

So therefore find a man, start a family and take care of them so that you won't give the

advert, the adversary an opportunity to accuse us.

Don't, don't, don't fall into that trap.

Don't be a, don't be a bad example.

Say that you're of God and then go out and do all these things and get yourself in trouble.

Find you a good man and settle down and live a good life.

He says, verse 15, for some have already turned away to follow Satan.

If any believing woman has widows in her family, she should help them and the church should

not be burdened so that it can help those who are genuinely widows.

So what's the point of all this?

Well, I think he tells us in these last couple of verses, Paul's not just being a big meaning

saying, well, you can help them people, but you can't help them people.

What Paul is saying is, is that the church has limited assets and there are people out

there that really, really need help.

And there are some people out there that don't really need the help that there have people

that can help them, that should help them.

And maybe sometimes do help them.

There are some people out there who will try to steal from the church.

That's simply what it is.

So they may not call it that, but there are people that go from church to church and they

try to leech from this church and leech from that church so that they don't have to do

anything.

They can get what they can get.

And what that does is when churches help people, and it's good for us to help people, but when

churches help people that are taking advantage of the church, then that takes monies from

somebody else that may really need it.

And so it requires on our behalf as a church, especially for those who serve on or may serve

on the Benevolence Committee in the future, to think about some needs that come before

us.

It's the hardest thing.

Nobody wants to say no.

We want to say yes to everything.

But this passage is a good reminder to us that there are some times that you need to

say no, that there are some times that maybe some things don't qualify.

We use God's money and we want to use it for godly things.

We want to use it for godly things that are going to promote the kingdom of God, that

are going to point people to Jesus Christ.

We want people to see the love of Jesus Christ through us.

And Paul says, look, so that we can be effective for the kingdom of God when it comes to funds

and when it comes to widows here in this case, you need to make sure that you're doing right

with God's money.

You don't want to put a burden on the church.

So what does he say?

Those of you who have family, if you've got a mother or a grandmother, then it's our responsibility

to take care of those people.

And by doing so, it relieves the burden from the church.

Now that's not to say that there aren't some situations that maybe you do all you can to

take care of your mother or grandmother and you still get in a situation where you need

help.

Well, praise God, I think it's good for the brothers and sisters in Christ to help in

those situations.

I don't think Paul is saying if the children help, then the church should never help.

There may be opportunities in which that needs to occur, but we need to do what we can so

that we don't put a burden on the church so that we find those who genuinely have needs

and we help those needs.

Let's pray.

Father God, we come to you.

We thank you for your words.

I pray that you would help us to be obedient, to help those who are around us, maybe those

in our own family, dear Lord.

Maybe it's those in the community.

I pray that you put people in our path, God.

We want to be found faithful to help the widows who are in need, but we need some discernment,

dear Lord.

We see lists like this and we want to make good decisions.

Sometimes it's not always cut and dry.

Sometimes there's a lot of details and a lot of thought that has to go into it, but dear

Lord, we want to be found faithful.

We want to help who we need to help and not throw your money away for those, dear Lord,

that maybe don't have the right heart when they seek it.

So God, I pray that you would help us to have the right heart and do what we need to do

and I pray that you would bless those that we have helped or may be able to help in the

future, dear Lord.

I pray this all for the glory of Jesus Christ.

In Jesus' name I ask it.

Amen.