Sermon

Thanksgiving - It's All About Family (Elder Ken Bryant, 11/19/22)

Ringgold Seventh-day Adventist Church

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  1. So we got out of the Navy, and during that time I had met Helen in Hawaii.

  2. Now I grew up in North Carolina on a tobacco farm, and never heard of a Seventh-day Adventist,

  3. or even met one, but Helen grew up Buddhist in Hawaii.

  4. Now one of the peculiar things about our different cultures, as you can see right off, is she's

  5. Oriental Asian, and I'm Caucasian. And she'll tell you a little bit about that.

  6. But I grew up on a farm. I loved buttermilk, but I hated rice.

  7. Now when we talk about compatibility, you want a lot of things in common when you are thinking about getting married.

  8. And so all of this kind of came together, and a lot of things clashed at first because we had two different cultural backgrounds.

  9. And I'll let Helen tell you just a little bit about how all this came to be before we start.

  10. We went out to eat one evening, and Ken looked at the menu, and he saw buttermilk on the menu.

  11. He got all excited because he hadn't had buttermilk for a while, so he ordered some buttermilk.

  12. I had no idea what buttermilk was. Had never seen it before, didn't know what it tasted like.

  13. But I'm open to new experiences, and so I thought, you know, I'd like to taste it just to see.

  14. It looked great. It looked thick and rich, looked like vanilla milkshake to me.

  15. So now you know what my expectations were. Well, I tasted the buttermilk, and it's impolite to spit it out at the table.

  16. And I couldn't get up and leave, so I swallowed it. It was the worst thing in the world.

  17. I thought to myself, this man eats strange foods. But you know, over the years, I have learned to like buttermilk.

  18. And I've learned to like rice.

  19. And these are minor differences, but of course, every family, every couple has adjustments to make.

  20. And you can make those adjustments or have conflict. We decided to make those adjustments.

  21. For 60 years now, we just got back from Hawaii, and it was a great time and a wonderful place to live, if you can bear the expense.

  22. Well, it's Thanksgiving time. Let me say, Helen and I have traveled this country far and wide doing seminars.

  23. We've met a lot of pastors. You've got a good one. Hang on to it. That's all I can say.

  24. Aaron and I have a lot in common. He started school when he was 31, so did I, after getting out of the Navy.

  25. We both have the same birthday, so that probably makes us a little bit in tune with each other.

  26. But I like him, and he does a great job, so he's a good pastor.

  27. Well, it's Thanksgiving time again. Let me just set the stage for what we're going to look at this morning

  28. when we all get together in Thanksgiving, and regardless of your religion and your politics and the like,

  29. we meet each other, we hug each other, we greet each other and say,

  30. it's been a long time since we saw each other. We've got to do this more often.

  31. And we all agree, yes, but everyone is so busy.

  32. And all of a sudden, year after year, pretty soon the kids are up and grown and leaving home.

  33. Everyone meets together. They take a look at the table.

  34. There at the center stage, of course, is a turkey or turquettes, as the case may be, or the vegan sandwiches.

  35. Surrounded by the mashed potatoes, the cranberry sauce, and a lot of hot rolls and steaming gravy,

  36. everyone admires the food table. All the kids run in and out, hoping for a morsel of food.

  37. Even the dog is looking for someone to drop something.

  38. The buffet is lined with pumpkin apple pies, and you can smell the aroma. You can almost taste them.

  39. Well, that's what Thanksgiving is when you come together, and that's what family is all about.

  40. It is Thanksgiving. Now, we use a few basic things to help us remember,

  41. kind of like a nail, which you put your memory bank on.

  42. Observation. In everything we do in life, especially when we're learning skills and trade,

  43. observation, what do I see? Not only what do I see, but also how we interpret that,

  44. because everyone will begin to interpret things differently.

  45. Look at the scripture, look at the Bible, and all the different denominations.

  46. What does it mean? How do we interpret it? And then, of course, the application.

  47. Fred here figured out the wheel, and he's headed to the cliff.

  48. Now, we look at three stages of math. Now, I don't have to explain this, do I?

  49. If we do, we're in trouble.

  50. All right, moving right along. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. That's why we do this.

  51. My daughter is a psychologist in Atlanta, and she sent me this picture,

  52. Why Men Should Not Babysit.

  53. I need not say any more about that.

  54. There are three basic things that we learn in life, that nothing in your life

  55. really becomes dynamic and meaningful and powerful to you until it becomes very specific.

  56. Secondly, we all know better than we do.

  57. Think about your diet, think about your exercise program.

  58. We all know better than we do.

  59. And then lastly, when it comes to evangelism especially, and I'm evangelist at heart,

  60. most people do the best they can at the time and under the circumstances.

  61. Now, having said all of that, where do we go?

  62. Helping families to cope with the stressful times in which we live,

  63. and they are very stressful today,

  64. to better understand God's family plan for our lives, individually and corporately,

  65. and to know God and his guidelines for a happy family,

  66. to know and understand myself, my personality, my temperament, my spiritual gifts,

  67. and my value in God's plan,

  68. to understand the diversity of my family members and how to better communicate,

  69. love more fully the family that God has given to me,

  70. and lastly, to understand family as a ministry in which God has called us to be a blessing to our family,

  71. to each other, to the church, and to the world.

  72. So the family, it's really all about Jesus and our relationship to him.

  73. Holidays and families' gatherings can have a super influence on both children and adults,

  74. the parents especially.

  75. The restoration from the ministry of healing, 349,

  76. the restoration, the uplifting of parents underlines every other job that you have,

  77. including the job at the church.

  78. Humanity begins in the home.

  79. The work of parents underlines every other.

  80. Society is composed of families, and it's what the heads of families make it.

  81. Now the heads of the family, as is explained in Genesis chapter 1, 2, and 3,

    Genesis 1 chapter mention

  82. the heads of the family should be the husband, the husband that holds the family together, and that is it.

  83. Everything we do in life, especially when it comes to interrelationships with each other,

  84. personal relationships with each other, especially when two people are in love.

  85. And this is where Helen and I have worked in family ministry for some 23 years

  86. and done literally thousands of individuals with temperaments and the computerized personality assessment.

  87. A lot of times when you look at this little example here, you look at the tree out there in your yard,

  88. midsummer and the leaves are turning yellow, falling off, and you know it's not time for it.

  89. There's something going on in that tree or down at the roots.

  90. When it comes to the behavior of children, we look at what they do, we look at their acts and whatever,

  91. but there's something else going on deeper inside.

  92. And that's usually down at the roots where the emotions are.

  93. When it comes to logic or emotions, a lot of times, especially when it involves love,

  94. love I call it for young people, when they think they're in love,

  95. the emotions are going to dictate more so than the logic.

  96. And that's why we try to encourage young people who think they want to get married

  97. to look at the emotions and deal with the emotions, but let the logic override the emotions

  98. because a lot of times the emotions are going to make the final decision,

  99. which a lot of times leads to marriage and divorce, usually within the first two or three years.

  100. I've asked many couples who are going through a divorce,

  101. how soon in the relationship did you realize you had a problem?

  102. One lady told me, the moment the organ started to play, here comes the bride, I knew I shouldn't do this.

  103. If in doubt, don't do it.

  104. Family traditions are passed on from generation to generation,

  105. or at least one second grade teacher decided she would quiz her students

  106. on how family traditions may have influenced them.

  107. And just for fun, this is what she said, a penny saved is what?

  108. A penny earned. What did the kids say?

  109. Isn't much.

  110. You can lead a horse to water, but what did the kids say?

  111. But they always want something else.

  112. Early to bed, early to the kids say stinks.

  113. If at first you don't succeed, eat fruit.

  114. During this holiday season, you may encounter a lot of things to dialogue and talk about,

  115. other than politics, I would hope.

  116. Trivia can make you a lot of money on television programs.

  117. Gossip is never in vogue.

  118. And here's a few things to think about.

  119. Things that most of us would never think to think about.

  120. The good thing about not knowing what you don't know is the fact that you don't have a clue as to what you don't know.

  121. And therefore, you happily go about your business as if you know everything there is to know.

  122. You understand?

  123. Here's an example.

  124. Apples, true or false.

  125. Apples, not caffeine or coffee, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

  126. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.

  127. Let's say we know to know that.

  128. A pack a day smoker will lose approximately two teeth every 10 years.

  129. People do not get sick from cold weather, but stay inside more often.

  130. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart.

  131. Only 7% of the population are lefties.

  132. 40 people are sent to the hospital every minute for dog bites.

  133. Wow.

  134. Babies are born without a kneecap.

  135. They don't appear until they are two to six years old.

  136. The average person over 50 will have spent five years waiting in line, especially if you are in the military.

  137. The brute tooth brush was invented in 1498.

  138. The average housefly lives for about a month.

  139. 40,000 Americans are injured by the toilet each year.

  140. Something we never thought about, stretching out a coat hanger.

  141. It was 44 inches.

  142. The average computer users blink seven times a minute.

  143. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than they are any other time of the day.

  144. Most of us have eaten a spider while asleep.

  145. In most television commercials, advertising for milk is usually a mixture of paint and some thinner.

  146. Prince Charles and Prince William never travel on the same airplane, just in case there was a crash.

  147. A lot of couples do that, who have children.

  148. I've encountered a lot of them that do.

  149. The first Harley Davis motorcycle was built in 1903, and a tomato can was for the carburetor.

  150. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cord cut from women who have give birth.

  151. They are used in vein transplant surgery.

  152. If coloring was not added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.

  153. Think about that.

  154. Now, what's the verdict?

  155. All of them are true.

  156. Think about number 16, eating a spider.

  157. The most powerful sermon you will ever preach is your home.

  158. These things are all true.

  159. Knowledge, review, what we started with.

  160. The good thing about not knowing that you don't know something is the fact that you don't have a clue as to what you don't know.

  161. Therefore, you go about your life as happy as can be, because it really doesn't matter.

  162. There are important turning points in every person's life.

  163. I look back at some of the highlights in our marriage and some of the turning points that were just major and wonderful,

  164. and then a few disappointments also.

  165. But most of what we are as adults, most of what we live in our everyday life, it happened way back there in our childhood.

  166. Some years ago, my son gave me a book.

  167. And on the back cover was this little rendition here.

  168. All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten.

  169. And it is so true.

  170. Most of what I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be, I learned in kindergarten.

  171. There in the sand pile at Sabbath school, the Sunday school, these are the things that I learned.

  172. Share everything. Play fair. Don't hit people. Put things back where you found them.

  173. Clean up your own mess. Don't take things that aren't yours. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.

  174. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

  175. Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work.

  176. Every day some. Take a nap every afternoon. And when you go out into traffic, hold hands and stick together.

  177. And the last little expression, be aware of wonder.

  178. I hope it came up on there. Be aware of wonder.

  179. That's the excitement that's in a child's eye when they learn something new.

  180. Bible theme from Genesis to Revelation. God depicts his relationship with his people in terms of the family.

  181. We call each other brother and sister.

  182. The second coming of Christ is depicted as the bridegroom coming for the bride.

  183. We are the church. We are the bride.

  184. We all bring expectations together when we come and greet each other and get to know each other,

  185. thinking that we might marry this person.

  186. I tell young people all the time, don't ever date anyone you wouldn't think you wouldn't want to be married to

  187. because your emotions sometimes will take over and guide you in the wrong direction.

  188. Learn to know something about that individual.

  189. For seven years we worked with Forest Lake Academy seniors and helped them to understand themselves better

  190. using the computerized assessment.

  191. Secondly, making career choices based on their personality and things like this.

  192. Those who marry, and I talk about the difference between being compatible and being attracted to each other

  193. because those are two different things sometimes.

  194. The person you may be attracted to may not be the person you are really compatible with.

  195. So it goes both ways.

  196. Those who marry enter a school from which they will never in this life graduate.

  197. Adventist Home 105.

  198. So we look at all the demise of relationships today and they are plenty.

  199. Divorce, it's a big problem in our country, but there's another looming problem that is getting bigger.

  200. Marriage has now become obsolete.

  201. It's in the minority because young people are opting to live together before marriage.

  202. And that creates a whole multitude of problems.

  203. One of the problems when we were doing evangelism is we'd encounter couples coming to our meetings.

  204. They'd already have children, we just assumed they were married,

  205. but if they went through the study and wanted to be baptized, we find out they never bothered to get married.

  206. They just have been together for five, ten, fifteen years.

  207. And that's just the way it is.

  208. Opposites may be attracted to each other, but people who are more similar get along better

  209. and have longer lasting relationships.

  210. This is about family.

  211. Now some of the stresses in the home.

  212. We can look briefly at some of these and we can spend a whole hour on each one of them.

  213. But it's managing time and work.

  214. That seems to be the biggest problem, even with all today's work-saving devices that we have in the home.

  215. Managing that time and work and our spiritual side should be included in that.

  216. Managing money, that's a huge problem today with the economy being what it is today.

  217. When we have marriage seminars, the average person in our group would have $15,000 to $30,000 outstanding on marriage,

  218. on their credit cards.

  219. Any way you can, get out of debt.

  220. Teenagers, of course, they have their own set of problems today.

  221. And your pastor knows a lot about the teenage groups that are out there today and how they think differently.

  222. The average church today, especially after the virus, when we do church meetings,

  223. the overall view of the audience is gray heads.

  224. Even Loma Linda, if you watch Loma Linda programs, if you see the audience, you see mostly gray hairs.

  225. Well, young people aren't really coming back to church, if they ever started to start with.

  226. They have different views and they have different habits that a lot of times older people like ourselves,

  227. some of us, don't quite understand.

  228. But that's kind of where they are.

  229. So evangelism has to be done a little different today than back in, say, 20 years ago.

  230. Eating habits.

  231. Now, that's a problem for today's culture.

  232. And sleeping habits, of course.

  233. The sleeping habits is really, really a problem for most people.

  234. I often talk about this when we are doing people who are very stressful, stressed out.

  235. Not only they have inherited genetic factors working against them,

  236. but also part of the inability to sleep and getting the right kind of sleep.

  237. That's a whole session by itself.

  238. And then the resilience, the ability to bounce back after trauma, after something has happened in your life.

  239. Now, had you been out on the freeway, for example, as one lady said this morning,

  240. she almost got t-boned at the intersection out here at 75.

  241. Just seconds she had passed by and noticed a car behind her, got t-boned.

  242. When something like that happens, what happens to the emotions?

  243. It goes immediately into the long-term memory.

  244. That's why anything that's very traumatic, it can either be blocked out because it was so traumatic,

  245. or it would go into the long-term memory and you never forget it.

  246. It's one of those things that God gave us and blessed us with,

  247. and sometimes if it's used the wrong way it can be a curse too.

  248. So today's situation, half of all marriages, plus we hear that all the time, have failed,

  249. if they even bothered to get married.

  250. Men and women today are not as committed as they used to be or could be.

  251. The media hasn't helped.

  252. TV programs, magazines, pornography, and all these show marriage almost as something to be shunned,

  253. as if it was just not the best thing to do in life.

  254. Where is the moral compass our society?

  255. Have we lost that moral compass in our country, politically speaking and otherwise?

  256. Under attack in 22 is marriage everywhere, so it seems like.

  257. The gay and lesbian agenda, taken over, yes.

  258. There's people in high places that make these things happen.

  259. The media, magazines, and the like change attitude, change behavior.

  260. Even some of the prime-time television programs that would normally be called family time television

  261. present some of these things in a very humors normal way, as if that's just the way life is.

  262. Even NCIS Hawaii, I don't have to explain it, you watch it, it's terrible.

  263. It equates any rejection of these things as bigotry, racism, all the adjectives that you already know.

  264. Names are important.

  265. In the Old Testament, names meant something about your character,

  266. the character or the image that people identified you with.

  267. Names can speak volumes about people groups and even our culture today.

  268. Even the cars we drive sometimes say something about the culture.

  269. Years ago, Detroit decided that they would send that little car, Nova.

  270. How many of you remember that little car, Nova?

  271. Some of you may have had one.

  272. Small car, good car.

  273. Detroit decided they'd sell that little car down in Mexico.

  274. They sent salespeople down there to promote it.

  275. It wouldn't sell.

  276. So they sent some of the top executives from General Motors down to Mexico to put on a big advertising campaign.

  277. I tell you, that car still would not sell.

  278. Anybody speak Spanish here?

  279. Nova means what?

  280. No go.

  281. You get that?

  282. Can you see the macho Mexican male trying to impress his senorito with a no-go car?

  283. Wouldn't he at least want a Firebird or Thunderbird, something that speaks about power?

  284. We lived in Orlando for 30-some years until we moved up here to Chigamaga, be close to a family.

  285. Anyway, our son lived in Atlanta and grandson, and an airline came to Orlando.

  286. Brand new airline, Kiwi Airlines.

  287. They offered an introductory price like $27 round trip.

  288. You couldn't beat that. You couldn't drive it for that.

  289. Helen and I got us a ticket.

  290. And we were sitting on the airplane waiting to get out on the runway and take off.

  291. We were going to go see our grandson.

  292. Well, I'll tell you, we got pulled over to the side, and two or three big airplanes went by us.

  293. And we just kept waiting and waiting and waiting.

  294. And so I take out that little inflight magazine, Kiwi Airlines, Kiwi Airlines.

  295. Now by this time, we are racing down the runway.

  296. And I'm reading about Kiwi Airlines, named after a New Zealand bird that cannot fly.

  297. Names are very important.

  298. What we and how we call our children, just a tone of voice sometimes,

  299. can make a world of difference in the reception and the love that's conveyed just in their name.

  300. You think about that, the trampoline concept.

  301. Human beings are made for relationship, which requires a support system.

  302. That's part of the church family that gives support system.

  303. It's part of your family that should.

  304. But so many families today are fragmented or polarized so they don't see each other maybe once or twice a year.

  305. At least there's Thanksgiving, Christmas, and some of the other holidays.

  306. I was visiting my first church in Florida.

  307. I was assigned to it and I went to visit some of the inactive members.

  308. I distinctly remember one lady I went to visit that hadn't been to church in years.

  309. And so I just call them inactive members.

  310. And as the visit progressed, she went to the kitchen for something.

  311. And the little five-year-old girl there, she noticed me looking at all the pictures on the wall in very unusual places,

  312. what normally would be a little unusual.

  313. And she started to laugh.

  314. She said, when mommy gets mad at daddy, she'll throw something at him.

  315. And if it hits the wall and puts a hole in it, mommy puts a picture over it.

  316. Well, we had a very fine visit and I got ready to leave and she told me, she said, walk me to the door, she said,

  317. Pastor Brian, thank you for coming.

  318. It's been so nice to get reacquainted with what's going on at the church.

  319. I'm sorry I haven't been there for so long.

  320. But she said, you know, Pastor, have you ever seen that TV program, Cheers?

  321. I said, of course.

  322. Yeah, I've seen it.

  323. And she said, have you ever listened to the theme song on Cheers?

  324. I said, yeah, yeah.

  325. Now, some of you may have heard it.

  326. How does it go?

  327. Some of you that are musical.

  328. Sometimes you want to go where all your problems seem the same and everybody knows your name.

  329. And she said, that ought to be the theme song for every Adventist church.

  330. I was taken back by it.

  331. Absolutely.

  332. We went to church just a few months ago over in North Carolina and a fellow came up after the service and he said,

  333. I used to be a bartender.

  334. And what you said about the Cheers, he said, that is so true.

  335. You get your regular customers coming in, it's almost like family.

  336. In fact, you see them come in the door.

  337. And as a bartender, I knew what drink they were and I'd start preparing it right off.

  338. And they were so welcoming.

  339. It was like family.

  340. I've thought a lot about that since, but it's true.

  341. We were speaking at a camp meeting some years ago.

  342. And I asked a question, you know, if you were, like this little statement here, I hope you can see it.

  343. If you were unconscious and being admitted to ER, how many people would need to be notified if you were in a life-threatening condition?

  344. Family, relatives, friends, you know, who would be needed to notify?

  345. The next day after I presented this trampoline, because we all need people in our support system,

  346. this lady came early with tears in her eyes and she said, I couldn't sleep last night.

  347. I began thinking about this because I don't have one friend, one friend or relative that would care enough about me

  348. if I was in the emergency room with life-threatening conditions that they would come.

  349. That's sad, but that's life.

  350. And how many people today sit in the pews of churches, even big churches, and they're so lonely.

  351. They don't have that kind of connection.

  352. And that's what a church family should be, to understand and help each other.

  353. The traits of many women, as we look at some of these things, you know,

  354. there's this unisex movement that came about years ago.

  355. And I'll tell you, when you go back to Genesis, God made male and female, and He put nothing in between.

  356. And what we see in our culture today is a sin, great moral sin.

  357. Here are some of the traits in a very humorous way.

  358. It's not to say everybody's this way, but there's always exceptions to the rule.

  359. Oftentimes, men are more logical, where women are more emotional first and then logical.

  360. You know, it kind of works in the other way, to complement each other.

  361. Men are more proud and difficult to admit their fears or ask for directions.

  362. Women are less proud, able to admit their fears and even ask for direction, as they had to.

  363. That was before GPS came along.

  364. Men tend to be more objective about things, and women are more intuitive.

  365. That means you can't lie to them, men, because they know when you're lying.

  366. It has something to do with your body language.

  367. Men have a wandering tendency, whereas women tend to have a nesting instinct.

  368. Men tend to forget little things, and the women remember those little things that you forgot.

  369. Men are a little bit more independent. Women are relational.

  370. Now, think of four or five couples at the Olive Garden having a meal.

  371. If the man has to go to the bathroom, that's it.

  372. If one of the ladies has to go to the bathroom, she'll stand up and announce it, and four or five of them will go off together.

  373. They're more relational. It just works out that way somehow.

  374. Men respond more to sight, and women more to the touch and the verbals.

  375. Now, what keeps marriages going?

  376. Some years ago, Psychology Today did a study among 25,000-plus healthy married couples who had been married longer than 25 years.

  377. And this is what they found out.

  378. My spouse is my best friend.

  379. The spouse is best friend for both men and women.

  380. I like my spouse as a person.

  381. Marriage is looked at as a long-term commitment. Marriage is sacred.

  382. This is how they listed all of these categories.

  383. My spouse has grown more interesting.

  384. I want the relationship to succeed, the men said, likewise for the women.

  385. Then it begins to shift.

  386. And enduring marriage is important to the man's social stability and his peer pressure, peer group.

  387. Whereas women put, we laugh together.

  388. We agree on philosophy of life together, whereas the men left that down at the bottom on this list.

  389. And when young people think they want to get married, they look around, girls will look around, at the availability of young men in the Adventist church.

  390. And they are outnumbered.

  391. The girls outnumber the boys usually in that marriage group in the early 20s in the life.

  392. Then the other problem is because there's a minimum amount of young men available, women postpone marriages later in life.

  393. And their body clock, of course, is ticking all the time if they're going to have children or something.

  394. And so all of these things come to bear on when making a decision and how they make that decision.

  395. So many people in Florida especially, we found the women, Adventist women, thinking they would marry this man, somehow or another he would change,

  396. and it would be different, much to their disappointment later on.

  397. And this usually shows up several years after that marriage when they are conflicted in the philosophy of life or the religion, marrying outside the church.

  398. And so it's been proven over and over again, but somehow or another it's just the way it is.

  399. And remember, emotions take precedence over the logic for some people.

  400. So we laugh together, having a sense of humor and a forgiving spirit is one of the things that helps the relationship to grow.

  401. Now, sometimes we look at temperaments, and I'm sure most of you have been through all the different types of temperaments in your life,

  402. in your studies, in your church work, and whatever.

  403. And we will not go through them, but maybe some other occasion in great detail.

  404. But you remember the melancholy people, you know, those who have all these ups and downs in their emotions and everything,

  405. and sometimes that gets to be problematic for depression, especially among melancholy people.

  406. Then you have, now who were the melancholy? Most of the prophets in the Old Testament were melancholy.

  407. Look at Elijah, one day Mount Carmel, a couple of days later he's running 90 miles away, falls down under a bush and says,

  408. Lord, why was I born? Just let me die. You see how that mountaintop experience fell to the valley.

  409. Now you look at Peter, thus saith Peter in the New Testament, speaks more than all the other disciples put together.

  410. Peter was quick to speak, slow to listen, and that was his problem.

  411. Right up until the end, when Jesus was taken and going to be crucified, not so Lord, I'll defend you to the death.

  412. Well, that's the impulsiveness of the Sanquan type person.

  413. And they rush in sometimes where angels feel to tread. That's just their personality.

  414. And then you have the phlegmatic, the one who's a guarantee that nothing's going to happen.

  415. I want security. And look at the little guy with the parachute. He's the phlegmatic.

  416. Don't want anything to go wrong.

  417. Of course, the little caloric individual like Paul, Paul in our study for Sabbath school, which was very good.

  418. Thank you, brother. Paul, beaten, lost in the ocean. I mean, he went through everything you can imagine.

  419. It's no wonder he said, I die daily in your lesson. That's Paul.

  420. He was constantly under the threat of physical harm from everywhere and mainly from the Jews, a part of who he was coming out of the Jewish faith there.

  421. So instructing, training our children according to their temperaments, because sometimes we have three grown children and five grandchildren now.

  422. But our youngest daughter, who's a psychologist now, our youngest daughter, she would be challenged.

  423. Whatever happened, she'd challenge it and she'd go to school and she'd ace every test.

  424. You know, she just had that kind of mindset, academia and all. And so it just never stopped.

  425. You never stop. Whereas our oldest daughter and birth order has a lot to do with compatibility and success in marriage, too.

  426. We'll get into that in another session. But our oldest daughter, she'd have to study, study, study to get just a B.

  427. And so it was like understanding the temperaments in the personality because we had to treat them differently according to their temperament and personality.

  428. So instructing at children and then how do we discipline? Discipline actually means to disciple.

  429. How we disciple our children, how we lead them. And then modeling.

  430. This is perhaps the best training tool of all. We model in front of our children. We let them see that we do pray and we kneel by our bedside.

  431. We lift them up in names to the Lord. Names are important. They need to know that you're praying for them by name.

  432. Modeling. And when you have disappointments, yes, they can't see that life is always a bed of roses, but they deal with it as a family.

  433. And that's what family is all about. Making choices. This is the bottom line. Making choices.

  434. What kind of choices do we make? Emotional, logic. Just that simple.

  435. And you have to evaluate which one is it, which one's going to have the overbearing reach of making choices about life.

  436. Helen Mailcoat, a psychologist, said this, I was regretting the past, fearing for the future.

  437. Suddenly my Lord was speaking and the Lord said, my name is I am. He paused. I waited. He continued.

  438. When you live in the future with its problems and fears, it is hard. I am not there. My name is not. I will be.

  439. He continued. When you live in the past with its mistakes and regrets, it is hard. I am not there. My name is not. I was.

  440. When you live in the moment, in the now, it is not hard. I am here. My name is. I am. Thus saith the Lord.

  441. Now, as you take away today, you hear that expression a lot, what's the take away today?

  442. Here's some things that will help improve things in your life. Eight hugs a day for married couples.

  443. At three full body embraces with each other. When I went to that visit, that lady in the home,

  444. you can tell when there's love there when the dog runs behind the couch.

  445. I'll tell you, when you do this in front of your children and they see you embrace each other,

  446. that you love each other, I'll tell you, it creates a sense of love in the home.

  447. And I'll tell you, the dog will start wagging his tail again.

  448. Spend time alone with God every day. Live your faith. Spend time with the family and have family time.

  449. Eat at the table once a day at least. Most people, when I say we all know better than we do,

  450. when do most people eat the largest meal, morning, noon or night?

  451. When is the worst time to eat your largest meal? Meet I say in the mall.

  452. Eat at the table at least once a day, not in front of the big screen.

  453. Affirm and encourage each other every day and develop a forgiving spirit. Have a date night.

  454. I'll tell you, this lady went to see an attorney one time in closing.

  455. She said, I have been treated so mean by my husband for years and years. I have had it.

  456. I want a divorce. I want it before Christmas even.

  457. And I want to just be a bad memory in his psyche.

  458. And the attorney being wise from many years of experience, he said, I'll tell you what,

  459. if you really want to hurt him, go home and treat him like the king of the house for 30 days.

  460. When he comes home on day 30, you are bagging badges, gone.

  461. And he'll really sense the loss and the hurt.

  462. Well, 30 days came and went. Another 30 days came and went.

  463. He didn't see this lady until one day he was in the mall waiting for his wife doing shopping.

  464. And he was sitting there. All of a sudden he saw this lady walking towards him.

  465. He said, excuse me, but aren't you the lady who wanted to divorce your husband because he was so mean to you?

  466. Divorce my husband? I am married to the most wonderful man in the world.

  467. Now what happened? Eight hugs a day, three full body embraces.

  468. Eat at the table, have a date night, have a date time. Treat her like the king of the house, men.

  469. And she'll treat you like the king of the house. She'll treat you that way.

  470. Give thanks to the Lord. Praise him. Go out this season, this Thanksgiving season.

  471. Enjoy your family, your church. Thanking God always for his never-ending love.