The Pain of Discipline in Love

We're going to be in 2 Corinthians chapter 1.

2 Corinthians 1 · chapter mention

We started in 2 Corinthians last week. We'll

probably be in here for a while. We went through

1 Corinthians, it's been several years ago now,

probably five or six years ago. And this takes

place a little while after the letter was written.

1 Corinthians, or what we have in 1 Corinthians,

as we talked about last week, it is believed

that Paul might have wrote as many as four letters

to the Corinthians. There are some things that

are said that leads us to believe that that is

possible. However, we don't have those letters.

So we're kind of left to fill in the blanks,

and we'll see that a little bit tonight. There's

a couple of things in this passage that we kind

of have to kind of guess and figure out exactly

what's going on. I think we can kind of pick

it out, but it's not abundantly clear, but I

think we can make sense of what's being talked

about. So let's pray and then we'll get started.

God, we come to you. We thank you for your word.

I pray that your Holy Spirit would be with us

tonight, that you would keep us free of the distractions

and the worries and the pains and the things

of this world. but that in these few minutes

we would hear from you, that you would help your

Holy Spirit to speak to us tonight, that we would

grow in your word, that we would understand your

word, that we would see the things that are being

discussed in your word, and help us to see how

they can apply to our life and how we can grow

from them. So I pray, dear Lord, that you be

with us tonight, and I ask these things in Jesus'

name. Amen. 2 Corinthians chapter 1, we went

2 Corinthians 1 · chapter mention

through the first 11 verses last week, and Paul

gave us an introduction and really a beautiful

passage where he talks about comfort, that God

is the God of all comfort. And that is so reassuring

because there are plenty of times in our life

where we need the comfort of God. And that comfort

that we desire... comes from nothing else, no

one else but from God. And so Paul talked about

the comfort of God and that we are to use the

comfort we receive from God to comfort others

who may be going through difficult situations,

maybe even situations that we ourselves have

gone through, and we can offer some words of

encouragement. And Paul talks about this comfort

because... He talks about the affliction that

he has experienced, that as he's doing the work

of God, that he's experienced a lot of affliction

along the way. And as we read through the Scriptures

and Paul's journey and Paul's work, we see that

the work that he does is not easy. Now he is

certainly all about preaching the gospel of Jesus

Christ, but he faces much opposition along the

way, much physical harm along the way, imprisonment

along the way. But nonetheless, he finds comfort

in God, and he finds comfort in knowing that

his brothers and sisters in Christ are praying

for him. And we saw that in the first part of

the introduction of the book last week. And now

we're moving on to verse 12. And he's kind of

shifting gears a little bit. And he's going to

deal with what appears to be an issue that's

going on between him and the Corinthians. And

it's not spelled out super clearly for us here.

So we're going to have to kind of fill in the

blanks as to what's going on. In 2 Corinthians

2 Corinthians 1:12

1, verse 12, he says this. For this is our confidence.

The testimony of our confidence is that we have

conducted ourselves in the world, and especially

toward you, with God -given sincerity and purity,

not by fleshly wisdom, but by God's grace. Now

we are writing nothing to you other than what

you can read and also understand. I hope you

will understand completely, as you have partially

understood us. That we are your reason for pride

as you are ours in the day of our Lord Jesus.

Now Paul, it sounds like, is making a bit of

a defense for himself here. He's saying, look.

This is our confidence. I have confidence in

that I have been a good example for you and that

I have steered you right, that all of the things

that I have said and done when I was with you,

all of the things that I have said and done when

I was apart from you, I have walked in the ways

of the Lord. I have done right. I have served

God. I have been done right by you. I have done

right by God. And for that reason, you can take

some pride in knowing us. You can take some pride

in saying that you are brothers and sisters in

Christ with us. You can take some pride in knowing

that you know Paul. And you can tell others that

you know Paul. And that the work he does is honorable

and respectable. And he is a man who serves the

Lord. And that's what Paul is saying here. That

I've got a clear conscience. I'm confident in

the work that has been done and the things that

have been done. And he says, We are your reason

for pride as you are ours. That is, we have lived

for the Lord and we hope that you are proud of

the way in which we have been living and we want

to be proud of the way in which you have been

living. That when we are out and about among

the other cities, among other Christians, that

we can say of the people of Corinth, look at

what they are doing. Look at the stand they are

taking for the Lord. Look at how they are living

for the Lord. Look at how they are serving the

Lord. And this is Paul's desire, but things in

Corinth are not really that good. Now, we saw

that when you look back at 1 Corinthians. If

you want to go back and read that, you'll see

that Paul really has to address some issues there.

He's really calling out several different things

that are going on in the church in Corinth that

must be dealt with. He has to bring some discipline

about in the first letter. And at the end of

the first letter, he says, I'm going to come

back and see you. And that appears to be part

of the problem here with the next few verses

that we're going to read. Now, Paul was going

to come back and see him, and two times he was

going to come back and see him, but he had only

come once. And it doesn't say in the text exactly

what the problem is, He said he was going to

come back. And he gives his reason why as we

continue to read through the text. But Paul starts

by offering this defense, saying, look, I've

been doing the Lord's work, and I'm doing what

God wants me to do, and I have a clear conscience

about that. And even though the people of Corinth

don't appear to be too happy with Paul, maybe

some of them, maybe a lot of them, maybe just

a few, I'm not sure, but some are questioning

Paul and the things that he said. Because he

hasn't made that second trip to Corinth. And

that's what we see as we continue to read in

verse 15. I planned with this confidence to come

to you first so you could have a double benefit

and go on to Macedonia with your help, then come

to you again from Macedonia and be given a start

by you on my journey to Judea. So when I planned

this, was I irresponsible? Or what I plan, do

I plan purely in a human way so that I say yes,

yes, and no, no simultaneously? Now, he explains

what's going on. I was coming to you. I was going

to come to you twice. I was going to come see

you. I was going to go on my way. I was going

to come back and see you. But something had changed.

Paul's plans had changed. And Paul says, look.

I'm not flip -flopping. I'm not just acting in

a human way. When I tell you something, I'm not

just saying, oh, yeah, I'm going to do that,

but I don't have any desire to really do it.

He says, I'm not telling you yes and no at the

same time. That's an interesting way to put it.

But he's saying, look, I had every intention

to come back and see you. I was going to come

back and see you, but my plans have changed.

I wasn't leading you on. I wasn't just saying,

oh, yeah, I'm going to come back and see you

all. I can't wait. And then not coming back,

he's saying, look, don't be upset with me for

not coming because things changed. And there's

a reason why I have not come back. So it appears

as though some are questioning Paul. Maybe it's

motive. Maybe it's heart. Maybe it's love toward

him. And Paul is trying to defend himself, saying,

look, what I say is true. What I say I mean.

And you can hold on to the words that I say.

I am one who is trustworthy. I am one who has

loved you. And even though my plans have changed,

don't let this be a problem between us. If there

were some, maybe a lot, maybe a few, who had

a problem with this, then obviously this is something

that was an issue and Paul is addressing it here.

Even though we don't have a lot of detail, we

see that he's trying to deal with this issue

in some way. He says in verse 18, As God is faithful,

Our message to you is not yes and no. For the

Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among

you by us, by me and Silvanus and Timothy, did

not become yes and no. On the contrary, a final

yes has come in him. And so, for whatever reason,

it appears as though, because Paul didn't make

that return trip, that some are questioning Paul.

And so he makes this defense at the beginning

part of this passage we look at. And he's saying,

look, I'm not flip -flopping. I'm not just opening

my mouth. I don't say one thing and do another.

You can trust me. You can trust everything that

I've told you. You can certainly trust the gospel

of Jesus Christ. The things that I said are true

and trustworthy and reliable. And you need to

listen to the words that I and others who have

been with me have taught you about Jesus Christ.

They are true. We're not changing our mind. We're

not causing any trouble. We're not saying one

thing and doing another thing. We've lived our

life in a way that we've lived for the gospel.

And you can look at that and you can see that

and you can take some pride in that. And you

can hold fast to what we say. You can listen

to my words. Even though I haven't made this

other trip, when I said I was going to make it,

even though I haven't come back to see you, Don't

throw me out quite yet. Don't be done with me

quite yet. Listen to the words that I've said

and know that the words that I've said are true

and good. And he uses this language of yes and

no and not having a confusion there between the

two. He doesn't say both of them at the same

time. And so that's kind of an interesting way

to phrase it. That's the term that he chose to

use. And then in verse 20 he says this, For every

one of God's promises is yes in him. Therefore

the amen is also spoken through him by us for

God's glory. Now that's a beautiful verse right

there. For every one of God's promises is yes

in Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is the yes and

amen. He has done everything that was to be done.

Everything that God had talked about. Everything

in God's word pointed to Jesus Christ. It has

been fulfilled by Jesus Christ. He is the yes.

Is Jesus the Messiah who was to come? Yes. Is

Jesus the Son of God? Yes. Is atonement for our

sins made through Jesus Christ? Yes. Are all

the promises in the Old Testament fulfilled in

Jesus Christ? Christ yes so everything is yes

in Jesus Christ And that's the argument that

Paul is making. You can trust what we say because

we've preached Jesus Christ to you, and Jesus

Christ is the yes and amen, and all things are

yes through Jesus Christ. That's a beautiful

verse. That really sums up a lot because there's

a lot of things in the Old Testament that were

talked about, a lot of things that were prophesied,

and Jesus Christ, Paul tells us here, has fulfilled

all of those things. So Paul says my words are

trustworthy, especially the words of Jesus Christ.

Verse 21. Now it is God who strengthens us with

you in Christ and has anointed us. He has also

sealed us and given us the Spirit as a down payment

in our hearts. Another beautiful verse there.

Paul says, look, I'm a brother in Christ. I'm

serving alongside you. You are brothers and sisters

in Christ. You are the church in Corinth. You

are the ones who have followed Jesus Christ.

And it is Jesus who strengthens both of us. And

Paul had just talked about that strength earlier

on in what we looked at last week. And all of

those afflictions. Paul recognizes that it is

Jesus who is his strength. He tells the Corinthians

here that it is Jesus who is their strength.

And then he says in verse 22, He has also sealed

us and given us the Spirit as a down payment

in our hearts. So how can we know that we are

saved? How can we know that we are Christians?

How can we know that we are receiving that strength

of Christ? What is the evidence? The evidence

is that God has given us the Holy Spirit as a

down payment. The Holy Spirit dwells within us.

The Holy Spirit guides us. The Holy Spirit convicts

us and helps us to understand the Word of God

and to grow in the Word of God and to live by

the Word of God and produces fruit. The fruit

of the Spirit, peace and patience and love and

kindness and gentleness. And all of these things

come from the Holy Spirit. So that is the evidence

that we have been saved through the precious

blood of Jesus Christ. And Paul says here, look,

we have strength through Christ and we are sealed

with the Holy Spirit. That is, we have received

God's Holy Spirit. So we know that we are God's

people. Verse 23. I call on God as a witness

on my life that it was to spare you that I did

not come to Corinth. I do not mean that we have

control of your faith, but we are workers with

you for your joy because you stand by faith.

Now, our Bibles will end in chapter 1 right here.

We have to remember. that when this letter was

written, it wasn't written in multiple chapters

and multiple verses. These are things that were

added later. And sometimes I wonder why the people

that added the verses and chapters broke them

off where they did, because this whole thought,

this whole idea that Paul is talking about, it

actually continues on into chapter 2. And we're

fixing to turn there and look at it. how this

all flows. So even though your Bible stops in

chapter 1, we really have to read into chapter

2 to see what's going on. But he says here in

verse 23, I call on God as a witness on my life

that it was to spare you that I did not come

to Corinth. So Paul says, look, I've got a good

reason for not coming to you. There's a reason

why I did not come, and the reason that I did

not come, it was for your good. He says here

it was to spare them. Well, what does he mean

by that? Well, let's read a little further into

chapter 2, verse 1. In fact, I made up my mind

about this. I would not come to you on another

painful visit. For if I cause you pain, then

who will cheer me other than the one being hurt

by me? I wrote this very thing so that when I

came, I wouldn't have pain from those who ought

to give me joy. Because I am confident about

all of you that my joy will also be yours. So

Paul says, here is the reason why I didn't come.

He says, I knew it would be a painful visit.

What does he mean? Well, I think he means more

of the same about 1 Corinthians. He had already

written the letter of 1 Corinthians and maybe

even another letter or two between this. And

obviously things in Corinth were still not good.

They were still not doing good. There were still

some who were in sin. There were still some who

were causing trouble. There were still some probably

who were doubting Paul or questioning Paul, which

is why he's making a little bit of a defense

for himself here. And he says, this is the reason

why I did not come because if I would have come,

I would have disciplined you and it would not

have been a good thing. He says, I would not

have taken any joy in that and you would not

have taken any joy in that. and it probably would

have affected our relationship, so I thought

it better that I should not come to you right

now. I told you that I was going to come to you

at this time, but I'm not going to come, and

it is for your good because I love you, and I

don't want to cause you pain, so I'm going to

keep my distance for a while. Now, this is good

advice for us. This is good advice for us. There

may be times in our life where we need to keep

our distance. Maybe it's a time when you're having

a problem with your spouse, or maybe it's a time

you're having a problem with a co -worker or

a family member, and maybe they're doing wrong,

or maybe you're doing wrong, and maybe there's

some confrontation that needs to take place,

a discussion that needs to be had, and boy, when

we're in the midst of our anger and we are just

mad, that's not a good time to discuss things.

And it appears as though maybe that's what's

going on with Paul. He's not really happy about

what's taking place. He knows that discipline

needs to take place, but he does not want to

do that. That's not his desire to do that. He's

already done that in 1 Corinthians. He's not

afraid to. He's not afraid to say, these things

have to be dealt with, and this is how they have

to be dealt with. He's not afraid of discipline,

but he wants that to be the last resort. Because

anytime you have to discipline someone, it causes

a little bit of tension. It causes a little bit

of separation. Now maybe for a little while,

maybe for a long while in some circumstances,

but discipline is difficult. And Paul says, I'm

going to keep my distance. Now maybe he's keeping

his distance because he don't want to act rashly

and he don't want to say something out of anger.

Maybe he's keeping his distance to give them

an opportunity to get their ways right. Maybe

he's written in some of these other letters that

we don't have things that they need to do, and

maybe he's trying to give them a chance to do

it. And that's good for us to consider too in

our life. Most of the time, it's probably not

going to hurt us to wait a little bit before

we make a big decision or before we confront

somebody. And I suspect, hopefully, Hopefully,

none of us have a desire that we just want to

attack people and discipline people all the time.

If we do, we're already in a bad place. But nonetheless,

sometimes discipline is necessary, and we should

pray about that and think about that and do everything

we can before we do what sometimes has to be

done. We want to check our own self, as the scripture

says, take the log out of your own eye before

taking the speck out of your brother's. We want

to consider scriptures like that. But ultimately,

there are times where discipline has to occur,

where things have to be done, where people have

to be confronted. And that is one of the worst

things in life. At least I think it's one of

the worst things in life. I hate it when those

situations come. But Paul also recognizes...

For those who are in the church, who claim to

be Christians, who are living in sinful ways

and doing things that are destructive to the

church and the gospel of Jesus Christ, those

things have to be dealt with. And he talks about

that in 1 Corinthians, I believe, chapter 5,

where he says, look, what job is it of ours to

judge those outside of the world? That's not

our concern. But Paul says we do have to judge

those in the church. Those who profess to be

Christians, who profess to be followers of God,

but are living in blatant, unrepentant sin. And

Paul has to deal with that in 1 Corinthians chapter

1 Corinthians 5 · chapter mention

5. And he gives some pretty harsh instruction

on how a particular person in that instance needs

to be dealt with. So Paul knows about discipline,

but his heart is not to enact discipline. He

doesn't want to do that. And so he says, look.

I have not come to you because I knew it would

cause me pain. And I don't want to cause you

pain because if you're in pain and our relationship

is fractured, he says the only thing that's going

to make me happy is for you to be happy. And

if I come and cause you pain, then I'm not going

to be happy and you're not going to be happy.

And so Paul says, I have delayed my visit. I

have postponed coming to see you. And it is for...

your good. And then he closes this idea, this

section here in verse 4. For I wrote to you with

many tears out of an extremely troubled and anguished

heart, not that you should be hurt, but that

you should know the abundant love I have for

you. So we see in this verse that Paul really

does care about these people. Now he says here,

I wrote to you with many tears. Whatever he wrote,

maybe it's referring to this letter. Maybe he's

referring to a letter that's already been written.

It sounds as though that may be the case. Maybe

it was what we know in 1 Corinthians. Maybe there's

another letter. Regardless of what letter it

is, we see the heart of Paul. That when he writes

these things that are difficult, these disciplinary

things, these things where he's trying to instruct

the people and get them to do what is right and

to not live in sin and to deal with the sinners

who is among them, he is heartbroken over this.

He says, I wrote to you with many tears out of

an extremely troubled and anguished heart. his

heart was broken over whatever it was they were

doing. His heart was broken that he was having

to deal with this situation. But listen to the

beautiful language at the end. He says, Paul

says, I want you to know more than anything that

I love you. And that's why I'm doing this. That's

why I'm disciplining you. And that's a hard thing

to do. It's a hard thing to discipline someone

you love. But if you don't discipline someone

you love, you have to ask yourself the question,

do you really love them at all? Now, I don't

have a child. I can imagine that it would be

unbelievably difficult to discipline a child.

I would really struggle with that. Maybe that's

why God didn't give me a child. But on the flip

side, I also know that if a child is not disciplined,

they will turn into a hellion. There are plenty

of kids who don't receive any discipline whatsoever.

And the kids tell the parents what to do, and

the parents say, okay. And that's not good for

your kid. You want your kid to be raised where

they can function in society and have respect

for people and know they won't always get their

way and know that there are limits and know that

there are things that are not right and that

there are consequences and they learn those lessons

through discipline. That's how they learn those

lessons. And if they don't receive any discipline,

then they don't learn those lessons. And they

grow into adults that are unproductive and unprepared

for the world and will crumble at the least little

thing the world throws at them. And so some people

may say, well, I can't discipline my child. I

love him too much. Well, you don't love him too

much or you would discipline him. The Bible says

that God disciplines those who he loves. I don't

suspect any of us like discipline. I mean, did

anybody like getting a whipping when they were

a kid? No. We didn't like getting a whipping

when we were a kid. We hated it. But it probably

didn't take you many whippings. Some of you maybe

more than others, but it didn't take me many

whippings until I learned that I didn't like

that. I learned that there were consequences

to the things that I would do. I remember one

day we had a birthday party. I was probably like

seven or eight years old, and we were having

a birthday party at my grandma's house. and I

was standing at the door, and some people didn't

have a present, and I told them that if you didn't

have a present, you couldn't come to the party.

And my mother took me in the back room and took

care of that, and I never did that again. But

I needed to learn that lesson, because if she

hadn't done that, I'd be 41 years old telling

people, you can't come to my party if you don't

have a present. And that's not very cute. You

know, we laugh at things that kids do. It's cute

when a kid does something when they're three

years old. It's not cute when they do it when

they're 40 years old. So discipline takes care

of that. And discipline, I believe, comes with

anguish. I don't believe that God takes any joy

to discipline us. We don't like to be disciplined

by God. But praise the Lord that He does. If

you ever felt disciplined by God, it's not a

good feeling, but we can rejoice in it because

God disciplines those that He loves. And so if

we feel the hand of God and the conviction of

God and the discipline of God, then praise God

that he loves us. And he does that so we won't

be a bunch of fools running around. And sometimes

he may have to discipline us more than we would

like to admit. But Paul is saying here, look,

I'm doing this to you because I love you. I have

an abundant love for you. I love you too much

to just go on to the people of Galatia and Philippi

and just send them letters and visit them and

the people of Ephesus. He says, I love you too

much just to leave you behind. I love you too

much for you to keep doing what you're doing.

I love you, and I write these things to you,

and you may be questioning why I'm not here,

and there may be people questioning what I'm

saying and is it true or not, but he says, look.

You can take confidence in me. I have done the

Lord's work. I've been serving the Lord. My yes

is yes. It's in Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is

who we preach. Listen to him. Listen to me. Trust

me and know that I love you. But you can't keep

doing the things that you're doing. And that's

why I haven't come back to see you yet. And that's

one thing that we need to remember too. is that

there may be times in our life where discipline

is necessary. One, we need to remember that sometimes

we're on the receiving end of that discipline,

and we don't like it, but sometimes it's necessary

for us to receive that. But even when we are

on the giving end of discipline, and never should

it be done so without a lot of prayer and a lot

of guidance by the Lord, but if we are in those

situations where we are the one bringing discipline

in some way, it needs to be abundantly clear

that we do this because we love the one that

we are disciplining. It's not that we're trying

to pretend like we're holier and now. It's not

like we're pretending like we are not sinners.

It's not any of that. Sometimes we have to do

these difficult things. And Paul is having to

do a difficult thing. But he's doing it out of

love. Let's pray. God, we thank you for these

words. And even though it takes a little work,

dear Lord, for us to try to understand what's

going on here, God, I pray that you help us to

get what Paul's saying, dear Lord. That he has

been a faithful servant. That he has been faithful

to do your work, dear Lord. All of the writings

that we see in Scripture of Paul are all trustworthy,

dear Lord. His yes is yes, dear Lord. He's not

one that flip -flops and goes back and forth

and is uncertain, dear Lord. He speaks with authority

that comes from you, dear Lord, through Jesus

Christ. And so, God, I pray that we would read

the words of Paul and know that you have inspired

those words, that we would grow in those things,

dear Lord. Maybe we are like the people of Corinth,

and maybe there are some things in our life that

just aren't right. They're not good. And maybe

you've been working on us, dear Lord. through

other people, maybe through your Holy Spirit.

But God, I pray that in the midst of the discipline

that we feel your love, because God, we can't

go on without your love, dear Lord. And so I

pray, God, that we would learn, that we would

repent, that we would grow in you, dear Lord.

I pray that you would help us to be patient with

others. God, maybe there are times in our life

that... Like Paul, we need to pump the brakes

a little bit. We need to keep our distance. Maybe

there are times that if we act rashly in our

anger, we'll say things that we don't want to

and would regret. So maybe, dear Lord, sometimes

it's better for us to take a moment before we

speak, just as Paul did, dear Lord. And whenever

the moment comes for us to speak or to bring

discipline in whatever way is necessary in our

circumstances, that it is always done with love,

dear Lord. that we would seek you, that you would

guide us in the process, dear Lord, that you

would help us to be those who love like Paul

loves, that we would have such a heart and such

an anguish for people in our heart, dear Lord,

that we would shed tears for them just as Paul

did, God, that we wouldn't take any delight in

discipline, dear Lord, but that it would break

our heart and bring us to a place of love that

will be evident to those that we have to discipline.

And I ask these things in Jesus' name. Amen.