Expressing Love Through Discipline

Proverbs chapter 3, we're going to look at two

Proverbs 3 · chapter mention

more verses today. Proverbs chapter 3, verses

Proverbs 3:11

11 and 12. That's going to be in the Old Testament,

kind of close to the middle of your Bible. If

you can find Psalms right there in the middle,

Proverbs is going to be pretty close nearby.

If you just keep turning. I would encourage you

to read through the Proverbs. A lot of good instruction,

a lot of good wisdom. In this particular part

of the Proverb, Solomon is writing to his son,

giving his son instruction. That's so important

for those of you who are parents and grandparents

to instruct your children and guide your children

and let your children know right from wrong.

Try to put them on the right path because somebody

in this world and this life is going to be guiding

your children. And it'd be far better if it were

you than allowing somebody else to do it. And

so it's good for us to give instruction to our

children and to our grandchildren. And that's

what we see here in this Proverbs. Proverbs chapter

Proverbs 3:11

3, verses 11 and 12. We'll read these two verses,

then we'll pray. Do not despise the Lord's instruction,

my son. And do not loathe his discipline, for

the Lord disciplines the one he loves. Just as

a father, the son, he delights in. Let's pray.

God, we come to you. We thank you for these good

words. I pray that you would help us to focus

on you today. There are a lot of stresses and

worries and stuff that compete for our attention

and maybe even some good things, dear Lord, that

are competing for our attention today. But I

pray in these few moments that your Holy Spirit

would be in this place, that you would hide me

behind the cross, that I would preach and teach

in a way that brings glory and honor to you.

Dear Lord, I pray that you would help us to pay

attention when perhaps you're trying to get our

attention, dear Lord. God, you give us instruction

not to keep us from having any fun, but dear

Lord, so oftentimes the things that seem fun

to us are not good for us. So let us know, God,

let us know today that you love us and what you

command us to is because you love us. So let

us seek to follow your commands and live in obedience

to them. And I ask these things in Jesus' name.

Amen. Has anybody in here ever got a whooping

before, a paddling? Has anybody in here ever

got, I see some hands going up. I suspect that

some of us have. I don't know that that's even

a thing in schools these days. When I was in

school, you could get a paddle, and I don't expect

you can get a paddle in these days. You did something

wrong, and it wasn't any issue. Parents had told

the school or the principal, hey, if he does

something that's wrong, and you tear him up.

And sure enough, your parents would find out

before you got home, and you'd get two whippings.

Because you'd get a whipping at school and you'd

get a whipping at home. And for some young folks

today, maybe even some in here, I don't know,

that's all like foreign language. They don't

even have a clue what I'm talking about. But

there was discipline that took place. And I think

that that's a good thing. I think that the Scripture

says that that's a good thing. We see Scriptures

that speak of that in Proverbs 22, verse 15.

Proverbs 22:15

Foolishness is tangled up in the heart of a youth.

The rod of discipline will drive it away from

him. In Proverbs 13, 24, the one who will not

use the rod hates his son, but the one who loves

him disciplines him diligently. Now these are

not very popular verses in our world today. There

was a time in our culture that physical discipline

was accepted, but nowadays it's sometimes referred

to as discipline. child abuse. And there is a

lack of discipline, I believe, sometimes in our

world today. And I don't think that that's a

good thing. We kind of tend to shy away from

discipline or attempt discipline in a different

way, perhaps. Used to, when I was young, it was,

if you did good, then nothing would happen. But

if you did bad, you were going to be disciplined.

Now, The code for me when I was a kid was, do

we need to go to the bathroom? If I was somewhere

and I was misbehaving, which was very rare because

I was a pretty good child, my dad would look

at me and say, do you need to go to the bathroom?

Now, I knew what was going to happen when I went

to the bathroom. And there were a few times that

I had to get disciplined, that I got a whipping,

that I got a spanking with the belt. Now, it

wasn't abusive. It didn't cause any problem.

It was done out of love, but nevertheless, I

didn't like it. And we don't really see that

these days. It was, you go and you do good, you

say yes sir and no sir and yes ma 'am and no

ma 'am, and everything would be fine. But if

you didn't do good, you got disciplined. Well,

now we see kind of a different shift in our world.

For better or for worse, you can decide. Nowadays,

it's, well, we're not going to discipline a child

for doing wrong. We just ignore them when they

do wrong. but we reward them when they do good.

That's a whole different type of mindset. So

just don't acknowledge the wrong and reward the

good, and that will teach kids to do good all

the time. And I don't know that that's a good

concept. I don't think the Scripture teaches

that. Now, there are a lot of people today that

say, well, we discipline our children, but we

don't discipline them physically. So be it. We

still have these scriptures you have to do something

with. You, as a parent, I'm not a parent, but

as a parent, we have to read these scriptures

and we have to say, well, these are command of

God, so we have to do something with them. If

some physical discipline was good when God had

these words penned, then perhaps there is some

good in it today. But as a society, as children,

as adults, discipline helps us to respect authority.

And I believe that that's a big problem in our

world today. I think when I look around, I see

a lot of people that don't respect authority.

And perhaps that stems from a lack of discipline.

That when children were growing up, that they

didn't receive any discipline. That they did

what was good and they got something for it and

then they get into the real world and somebody

does discipline them and say you're wrong and

they don't know what to do. They say, but I do

good. You should give me something for that.

No, we do good just because it's the right thing

to do. But in our world today, we don't see as

much discipline perhaps as we should. And I think

part of a result of that is there's a lack of

authority. We don't respect that authority anymore.

And when people do show authority, we have a

hard time submitting to that. And so this sermon

is not necessarily about how you discipline your

kids, but that does have an effect in how we

turn out in life. Because I think that that discipline

that we experience as a young person helps us

to begin to respect our parents. And even more

so, that carries over into our respect for God.

That in that discipline, that that teaches us

that there is a higher authority. That there

is one that we answer to. That there is a right

and a wrong. That wrong is punished. That sometimes

good is rewarded. But our motivation to do good

should not just be that, man, if I'm good this

week, I'm going to get a new Lego set. That shouldn't

just be our... Our motivation to do good shouldn't

just be, what are we going to get from it? Our

motivation to do good is... God is the creator

of the heavens and the earth. He is the authority,

and he gives us instructions and commands that

are for our good and for our well -being. And

if we follow those things, blessings will occur,

maybe not physically or financially, but just

knowing we've made the right decision. Man, that

feels good to know that you've done what's right.

It's a certain sense of peace that comes along

with that. And so we see... Passages like these

in the scripture. It talks about discipline.

It talks about the Lord's discipline. Did anybody

in here ever, when they were young, enjoy, those

of you who have gotten one, enjoy getting a whipping?

Did anybody ever enjoy that? Don't think so.

Praise the Lord. I didn't see any hands go up.

Now, some of you got a lot of whippings, but

we never enjoyed it. Let me ask you another question.

For those of you who were on the giving end as

parents whipping your children, did you ever

enjoy it and just long and say, man, I hope my

boy messes up at school today. I can't wait to

get to bed. Did any of you parents ever do that?

Praise the Lord, there's no hands. So nobody

likes to receive discipline. And I'm not a parent,

but I got a little puppy. And when she was young,

she was bad. And now she's really bad. And it

might be because we didn't discipline her enough.

Because it's hard. We did discipline her some.

We tried to at least. But it's hard, right? You

see this life form that you love and like all

you want more than anything, I'm guessing, I'm

speaking, you can correct me. I say this a lot

when I'm talking about parenting because I don't

know. But I imagine that probably what you want

more than anything in this world is for your

children not to suffer. You want to try to take

all suffering out of their life. You want them

to avoid suffering at all costs, and especially

at your hands. And so discipline is hard. It's

a hard thing that we don't like to receive and

that we don't like to give, but as hard as it

may be, it's necessary. It's necessary, and I

think God's Word is pretty clear on that in a

physical sense as to how we raise our children.

And I think God's word is clear on that in our

relationship with God. And that's what this verse

says. Do not despise the Lord's instruction.

Okay, what is instruction? Instruction is do

this or don't do this. Now, what is instruction

for? Well, here's what happened. One day, years

ago, there was a group of parents and they got

together. And they said, we have kids coming

up, and we don't want them to have any fun whatsoever.

So we are going to make rules that we are going

to tell our kids that they cannot stay up late,

that they cannot eat sweets all the time, that

they cannot jump off the roof onto the trampoline.

Anything that looks fun, we're going to ban it.

And we are going to call each other at night

when they go to bed early, and we're going to

say, can you believe how much fun we have kept

them from? That's not what happened. That's not

why parents give instructions. It seems like

that as a kid. Oh, my parents don't want me to

do that fun. All my other friends get to do this.

Jimmy's dad lets him jump off the roof on the

trampoline. We say this kind of stuff, right?

And as kids, we just think our parents, they

must just not want us to have fun. But that's

not the truth. Now, why might your parents say

don't jump off the roof on the trampoline? Well,

you might kill your fool self. You might fall

off and trip and hit your head. The trampoline

might bust. You go to the ground. You might hit

the trampoline and bounce up to the moon. You

don't know where you're going to go. Now your

parents are pretty wise and they know that it's

not good to do that because they did that when

they were a kid and they busted their head open.

When I was young, some of you kids and adults

too may have got this instruction. Don't jump

on the bed. Well, jumping on the bed is pretty

fun. It's cushy. It's springy. What could possibly

happen? I was jumping on the bed one day just

having a big time. You know what happened? I

got too close. I fell off the edge of the bed,

hit the corner of the dresser, busted my head

open. There's a scar there today probably still.

You can see it. Now, why did my parents tell

me not to jump on the bed? Because they knew

that something like that could happen. And so

the instructions that we get from our parents,

we may not understand it, we may not like it,

but there's a good chance that the reason why

our parents are telling us not to do some of

the things they tell us not to do or to do some

of the things they tell us to do is because they

want what's best for us. They want to eliminate

as much suffering in our life as they can. And

the same is true for God. Now, we read God's

word and, man, our human natural tendencies are

to want to do some things that feel good and

that seem good and that don't seem like they

have any negative impact on us. But what the

Lord knows is that there are some things that

are not good for us. We see that throughout the

Old Testament. God gives us all kind of commands.

Hey, don't do this and don't do that and don't

do this. And these things we say, well, maybe

it's okay if we do a little bit of this and a

little bit of that. But God's instructions are

good. And he gives us these instructions because

they are good for us. So what's the instruction

that Solomon gives to his son here? He says,

don't despise the Lord's instruction. The Lord's

instruction is scripture. You say, what is the

Lord's instruction? It's the Bible. We have to

read the Bible. We have to read and say, okay,

what is God instructing us to do? How does God

want us to live? What are some things we need

to be careful about? What are some things we

need to stay away from? And if the Lord's given

us that instruction, then we need to try to follow

that instruction. Do not despise the Lord's instruction,

my son, and do not loathe his discipline. Now,

none of us like to be disciplined. When we're

younger, we probably don't even like it much.

When we're older, in whatever form, shape or

form that discipline takes, we don't like that.

Maybe when we were younger and we got a whipping

from our parents, we thought, man, I can't believe

my dad did that or my mom did that. We don't

like that because we don't understand that. We

can't comprehend as a child, as we grow into

adults, especially as we grow into parents. Maybe

we begin to understand that a lot more. I didn't

care for a weapon when I was a kid. But now that

I'm 42, I think, man, I probably should have

got a lot more weapons than I got. It probably

would have been better for me. There were a lot

of things that my parents let me get away with

that they shouldn't have let me get away with.

Things that probably would have helped shape

me to make better decisions and do better things.

And I didn't understand that as a child, but

I understand that. the more I grow into an adult.

And we don't like discipline. And I guess that's

why this has to be stated to us here. Don't loathe

the Lord's discipline. The Lord is disciplining

us for a reason. What does it say? For the Lord

disciplines the one he loves just as a father

the son he delights in. Now that seems contradictory.

I love you, therefore I'm going to whip you.

Your parents might say something like this. This

hurts me more than it hurts you. Oh, really?

You're the one that's got the belt. How is this

hurting you? And you say those things as a parent,

and it's true. It does hurt you more than it

hurts the child. What does the Lord say? The

Lord disciplines the one he loves. Now, do you

love your child? Well, hopefully you love your

child. Do you want your child to be a productive

citizen? Do you want your child to be safe? Do

you want your child to make good decisions? Well,

that comes about by disciplining them in some

way, shape, or form. Maybe you say, I'm not using

physical discipline. So be it. That's between

you and the Lord. But there has to be some discipline

that takes place. Because if there is not, It's

trouble. If a child grows up and gets everything

they want and gets to do everything that they

want, and I would imagine, I'm not a parent,

I would imagine that the temptation to try to

give your kid everything that they want and to

take all suffering out of their life, I would

imagine that temptation is super strong. But

that comes with some very bad consequences. Because

if a child doesn't learn discipline, doesn't

learn correction, doesn't learn right from wrong,

and always gets what they want when they're young,

guess what? One day they're going to be 40 years

old, and they're going to be pouting, and they're

going to be whining, and they're going to act

just like they did when they were 8 years old.

Because what they have learned is if this is

how I act, this is how I get what I want. Now,

discipline takes care of that. Train up a child

in the way he should go. When he is old, he will

not depart from it. Praise the Lord. That's good

if you're training up a child in good ways. But

I think it also is applicable if you train up

a child in bad ways. However you train up your

child, that's how he or she will be when she

gets older. Children don't just grow out of these

things most of the time. If they get away with

everything, if they have everything, and you've

tried to protect them from all suffering, then

all you are doing is preparing them for an even

greater suffering. And praise the Lord, He doesn't

do that for us. Now, we may look at God and say,

man, God's just a big meanie. He don't want us

to do anything good. Okay, maybe that's true.

Or maybe God only wants what is good for us.

That's what Scripture says. God only wants what

is good for you. So God has a way of getting

our attention. Now, a good example of this, if

you've never read in the Bible the story of Jonah,

you can find that story, a real short book of

the Bible. Go read it. It's only four chapters.

It's a great little story. God called Jonah to

go preach in Nineveh, and Jonah said, not going

to do it. Not going to do it. I'm going to get

in the boat, and I'm going to go the other way.

away. And guess what God did? God disciplined

him. God says, here's what you should do. Here's

what I've called you to do. You've chosen to

not listen to me. And so therefore, I'm going

to make things hard on you so that I can get

your attention so that you'll do what's right.

So he's out of the boat. Storm comes through.

Nobody can figure out what's going on. Jonah

says, it's me. It's me. I know why these things

are happening. I've been disobedient to the Lord.

Throw me overboard. He gets ate by a big fish.

He's in the belly of this big fish. And he says,

God, a beautiful prayer. In Jonah chapter 2,

Jonah 2 · chapter mention

he says, look, God, I need you. I have done wrong.

God, help me. Beautiful prayer. It's a good example

of what it means to... experience the Lord's

discipline. And maybe there are some things in

our life that have happened or happening right

now or will happen in which the Lord's trying

to get our attention. Some consequences to the

bad decisions that we make that God says, okay,

I don't want you to have to go through hard times,

but I want to get your attention. So that you'll

do what's right. We see that time and again in

the Old Testament. God gave his people all kind

of good instructions to keep them safe and healthy.

And man, they would just blow through the stop

sign and just go do what they wanted to do. And

God would, he'd turn them over to their enemies.

He would allow them to go through hard times.

Why? So that he'd get their attention. He didn't

just bless them in their evil. He didn't just

bless them in their sinfulness and say, ah, those

Israelites, those kids of mine, kids will be

kids. He didn't just turn a blind eye to it.

He said, look, if they continue doing these things,

it's unhealthy for them. They'll die apart from

me. They'll get into all kind of evil. There

will be all kind of horrible junk in their life.

And so he says, I must crack the whip and get

their attention. And he'd allow them to go through

some hard times. And guess what they'd do? They'd

say, oh, Lord, we are sorry. We've done wrong.

We'll never do this again. God, just help us.

And God, being a good father, he'd help them,

and they'd mess up again, and he'd have to discipline

them. Not so unlike you and I. That's what this

example is. That's the example of the comparison

that's being made. Hey, don't loathe the Lord's

discipline because he's just like a father disciplining

a son. He doesn't do it because he hates you.

He does it because he loves you. And he wants

you to grow into a strong man, into a strong

woman that knows right from wrong, that respects

authority, that respects God, that seeks God

before we make a decision. And so we see plenty

of examples in the scripture of God disciplining

his people. And the scripture says that God disciplines

those he loves. In Hebrews chapter 12, verse

Hebrews 12:11

11, it says this, No discipline seems enjoyable

at the time, but painful. Later on, however,

it yields the fruit of peace and righteousness

to those who have been trained by it. Now, when

we make boneheaded decisions, and we're going

through hard times as a result of those decisions,

maybe we should pause for a moment. and say,

God, maybe you're trying to get my attention.

Now, I'm not suggesting that every bad thing

that happens to you is God getting on to you.

I'm not suggesting that at all. Sometimes life

just happens. Sometimes bad things happen. I'm

not saying that everything you do is because

of the Lord, but I believe, I believe that in

our heart, we kind of know when we do wrong.

I think our conscious convicts us of that. And

sometimes maybe there are things that we do and

And maybe the thought that comes to our heart

and mind is, maybe the Lord's trying to get my

attention. I remember when I was a kid, I'll

never forget this. This is such a simple story

and not much to it, but I still remember it for

whatever reason. When I was in elementary school,

one of my friends, he said something to me, called

me a name or something. I don't even remember.

I don't even remember what he said, and I didn't

even think anything of it at the time. But after

recess was over, I was at the water fountain

getting a drink of water. And he come up to me

and he said, he had skinned his arm or scraped

his arm or something. It wasn't nothing serious.

And he said, I want to apologize to you. He said,

because I got hurt today and I think it's because

I called you that name. Now, whether or not that

was God getting on to him or not, I don't know

if that was the Lord's discipline. But in his

heart, he associated those two things. In his

heart, that action, that consequence, that pain

that occurred. And that triggered something in

his heart that said, wait a minute, I did something

I should not have done. And this thing that's

happened to me has helped me to see that. I don't

know if that was the Lord or not, but I believe

that the same thing happens in our life. I believe

that there are times that we do wrong and we

know we're doing wrong. We need to read God's

word to know what he calls us to. There are times

that we do wrong and something happens and maybe

that's the first thought to our mind. Maybe the

Lord's trying to get my attention. Okay, well

that's a good place to be. That's a good place

to be. Because if we get there, we need to remember

this passage. God disciplines the one he loves.

That's good. We don't like discipline, but when

you are disciplined, you know you are loved.

I think even kids... like discipline in some

way. Some of you may have experienced this before.

There are some kids that don't ever receive any

discipline, any instruction, any encouragement.

Those of you who teach kids or have dealt with

kids in any way, maybe you've seen this. They've

never had anybody to get on to them and say,

that's wrong and I expect better of you. You're

better than that. That's not good. They've never

had anybody say that to them. And they just run

around doing all kinds of bad stuff because they've

never been disciplined. They don't have any respect

for anybody. But you may be surprised that when

you set a kid down and you say, I'm disappointed

in you, that's not right. And we don't do that.

And you give them some form of discipline. I'm

not saying it has to be physical, but you kind

of hold their feet to the fire. You might be

surprised that that child doesn't hate you more.

that that child may have a much greater respect

for you than they have for any other adult in

their life because nobody else has ever loved

them enough to say that's wrong and you're better

than that. I think kids need discipline. I think

we need discipline. We need God to show us his

word and to call us out and say, look, I know

that temptation to sin and do wrong is strong,

but I want better for you. I want you to receive

my blessing. You keep living in sin and doing

this junk. The consequences you're going to experience

are going to be full of pain and heartache, and

I don't want you to have that. And so therefore,

I'm going to shake you up a little bit. I'm going

to let you go through some hard times in hopes

that you would seek me and come back to me. That's

what God wants, is for us to seek him and to

come back to him and to live by his commands.

So maybe today you're experiencing some discipline

in your life. Maybe God wants us to examine how

we discipline our children or our grandchildren

to help teach them that there is a right or a

wrong. To help teach them that there is one that

we need to respect. And that one that we need

to respect is God. And if a child won't respect

their parents, then it's unlikely that they will

respect God. And so these words are good for

us. They're a good reminder for us. No one likes

discipline. No one likes pain. And I don't think

there are many people, except for some really

evil people, who like doling it out. And I certainly

don't believe that God finds any enjoyment in

disciplining us, but he does it because he loves

us. God so loved the world, he gave his only

begotten son. That's love. There is no greater

love than this, the scripture says, that a man

would lay down his life for others. The greatest

discipline that we see in scripture that should

have been reserved for us was poured out on Jesus

Christ, that he suffered and bled and died, that

he was nailed to a cross so that our sins could

be forgiven. That's love right there. That God

would sacrifice his only son? And you want to

say, God, you're being a meanie because I'm having

to suffer? No. Jesus knows what it means to suffer

and die. The Lord knows what it means to sacrifice

his only son. That's a God who loves you. And

if a God loves you that much, that he would send

his only son to die for you, then maybe he's

a God we need to listen to. Maybe if we don't

read his word, we need to say, okay, God, if

you love me that much, I want to hear what you

have to say. God, I want to try to live by it.

So maybe today we feel the Holy Spirit working

on us. Maybe today the Lord has disciplined us

in some way. Maybe this week we've had that conviction

that there's been some stuff that's just not

good, not right, that we've been doing. And we

need to stop doing that. If the Lord has been

disciplined in you, then rejoice in him today

because you can know that he loves you. Listen

to his discipline. Repent of your sinfulness.

Turn from your evil ways. Know that he has your

best interest in heart. Turn to Jesus Christ.

Know that your sin can be forgiven and you'll

find the peace and the love of God. Let's pray.

God, we come to you. We thank you for this truth.

Dear Lord, these words are kind of hard to think

about and comprehend and wrap our heads around,

dear Lord. We talk about discipline and what

your commands are and discipline our children

and what that looks like and how that works,

dear Lord. I pray that you would just guide all

of these parents and grandparents to let them

know what that needs to look like and how that

needs to take place, dear Lord, but that we can

learn to discipline as hard as it is. It's not

a bad thing. But it's a necessity, dear Lord.

If we love our children, we cannot allow them

to do things that are dangerous, that are not

good for them, dear Lord. And if we're a parent

that lets our kids do anything, dear Lord, we

really have to look at our life, dear Lord. So

I pray that you would help us to be those who

would love and care for our children and discipline

them in the ways that are necessary, God. I pray,

God, that we would see that connection. between

this and between your love for us, dear Lord.

God, you wouldn't be a very good God if you just

let us get away with everything and let us do

whatever we wanted to do. God, you know that's

not healthy for us. And so we thank you for loving

us enough to give us instruction. And most importantly,

we thank you for loving us enough to give us

Jesus Christ, that our sins may be forgiven.

So dear Lord, maybe there are some today that...

or parents or children that struggle with discipline,

that you would just help them to see love in

that. God, maybe there are some today that they

just feel the conviction. They know that there's

some stuff that is in their life that shouldn't

be going on. Maybe some of the situations they're

in now are a result of just not making good decisions,

not being obedient, not doing what you say, dear

Lord. When we are disobedient to you, we find

ourselves in a mess. And you could keep us from

those messes, but dear Lord, you allow us to

suffer sometimes, to discipline us, to get our

attention. So God, I pray that if there's one

like Jonah today, maybe they've been disobedient

and run from you in a lot of ways, and maybe

today they're just in the mess that they're in,

I pray that like Jonah, they'd call out to you,

that they would seek you, that they would repent,

that they would turn to you, that they would

turn to Jesus Christ to know that their sins

can be forgiven. That they would experience that

love and discipline, dear Lord. That when they

come and submit to you, dear Lord, that they

would experience the peace that comes from that.

And I ask these things in Jesus' name. Amen.