Foundations of a Godly Home

I invite you to take your Bibles this morning and turn with me over to the book of Deuteronomy.

We're going to be in Deuteronomy chapter 6 this morning, beginning in verse 4,

Deuteronomy 6 · chapter mention

and we're going to work our way through verse 9.

Deuteronomy chapter 6, verses 4 through 9.

Deuteronomy 6:4–9

And this morning, I'd like to talk to you about something that is very near and dear to my heart.

This is also the passage that I go to when people ask me,

why are you still doing youth ministry? You're almost 40 years old.

You should be aging out of youth ministry by now, right, Mike?

This is the foundational text for youth ministry, children's ministry,

when it comes to family discipleship that we find in the Bible.

And so this is a very important text that we'll be going over this morning

when we're talking about foundations for a godly home.

I think if I was to ask everyone in this room this morning,

is raising children, raising them in a godly home, raising youth in a godly home,

is that a good thing? Is it important?

I think it's pretty safe to say that most everyone in this room would say,

yes, raising a child in a godly home is a good idea.

But if I was to go around and ask each person, how do we go about doing that?

What are some ways that we can raise our children in a godly home?

I'm sure we would get a number of different answers.

And so this morning, what we do not want to concern ourselves with

is the opinion of other people, not even my opinion.

What we want to concern ourselves with this morning is, what does God say?

What does God say about the key foundations to a godly home?

And Deuteronomy 6, verses 4 through 9, has some key foundations for us

Deuteronomy 6:4–9

that we can take away and apply to our family life.

I trust that you have found our text.

I'm going to invite everyone to stand as we honor the reading of God's holy,

inerrant, infallible word.

Moses says,

Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart,

with all your soul, and with all your might.

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.

You shall teach them diligently to your children,

and shall talk of them when you sit in your house,

and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

You shall bind them as a sign on your hand,

and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.

You shall write them on the doorposts of your house,

and on your gates.

Would you pray with me?

Father, this is your word,

and this morning we are thankful to come here to study.

Lord, we are thankful that, Lord, you have given parents the responsibility

to raise their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord.

And so, Father, this morning as we come,

Lord, I pray that you would open our hearts,

our ears, our minds to be receptive, to be teachable.

So, Lord, we dedicate this time to you first of all,

and we praise you for it in Christ's name.

Amen.

Thank you.

You can be seated.

You know, I am always overwhelmed,

as is many children's pastors, youth pastors, college pastors,

people who volunteer in youth ministry, children's ministries.

I am always overwhelmed by the statistics of students

that drop out of the church early on in life.

Now, when I say students,

I am not referring to juniors and seniors in high school

who typically we see their attendance decline a little bit

due to a driver's license, a girl or a boy,

a combination of those two, and even a job.

The statistics I am looking at this morning

has to do with students between the ages of 18 to 22 years old.

According to a recent LifeWay survey that I have read,

70% of students between the ages of 18 to 22 years old

will walk away from the church,

some of whom will never come back.

70%, that's 7 out of 10.

Let me put that into a little bit of a perspective for us.

In a youth ministry the size of ours here at First Baptist,

which can go anywhere from 35 to 40 roughly,

28 will not remain faithful.

28 of our students, according to these statistics,

will walk away from the church between the ages of 18 to 22 years old,

and some will not return.

And so what we have on our hands is an epidemic,

an epidemic that deserves an answer,

but more importantly, an epidemic that deserves a cure.

What are some things that we as a church family can do

to help deter this cancer that is eating away at our young people?

Well, according to this survey that I just referenced,

there are four things that a church can do

to help foster a vibrant relationship with the Lord Jesus.

Number one, according to this survey,

the church must have a proven value.

Listen to what this survey reports.

It says that two-thirds of the teens that stayed in the church said this,

the church plays a vital part of my relationship with God.

Mom and Dad, I want you to hear that.

The church, these teenagers that stayed between the ages of 18 and 22,

said that the church plays a vital part in their relationship with God.

What this demonstrates to us is that a relationship with God

and regular church attendance is of the utmost importance.

And I would add church attendance to the church that they are members at.

Second, according to this survey,

the church must have relevant teaching, preaching, and worship.

Once again, the students that stayed in the church,

according to this survey,

said that when the Bible was presented in relevant ways

and the music met them where they were at in life,

this helped to promote faithfulness.

At the time this survey was done,

Scott McConnell, director of research at LifeWay, said this,

quote,

if teens can't relate to the sermons at their church

or don't enjoy the worship style,

then as young adults,

they can easily fall away from their only connection to the church.

The third thing that kept these students in the church,

according to this survey,

were adults.

Adults that invested their lives into theirs.

This helped to promote faithfulness.

This survey reported that at least one adult

had invested their lives into those students

who stayed in the church.

A few months ago, parents,

you'll remember that I sent you an email

asking for parents and adults

to be involved with us on Wednesday nights.

This is the reason.

Because our students need adults

investing their lives into theirs.

And in this survey,

the adults that they were referring to

were not the youth pastors.

It was very, very few youth pastors.

It was very few people

in full-time vocational ministry.

This was people like their Sunday school teachers.

This was people like

those who come on Wednesday nights

to hang out with our students,

to eat a meal with them,

and just talk with them.

Adults investing their lives into students

are important.

However, the one thing

that was the most important,

according to this survey,

and I'm not trying to blow my head up here,

but I have read a lot of books on youth ministry.

I mean, a lot.

Children's ministry, youth ministry,

family ministry,

and read a lot of surveys

and been working with students

for around 15 years.

Across the board,

the number one thing

that kept students in the church

were mom and dad.

Here's what this survey reported.

It said, quote,

teens who at age 17

that have parents

that are authentic examples

of the Christian faith,

that is, they are proactive

and consistent in living out their faith,

also are more likely

to keep attending

as young adults.

Across the board,

20% more of those who stayed

indicated that they had parents

or family members

who discussed spiritual things,

gave them spiritual guidance,

and prayed with them.

And so just from the external data,

these books that we have

on family ministry

over the last 25 years,

these surveys that are taken

year after year after year

across the board,

the number one element

that kept these students

in the church

were faithful parents.

That's what the external data

points to.

And it's funny

because that's what

the internal data

says as well.

Parents must make

God the center of their home.

And our children,

our young people,

our youth,

they need to be seeing that.

And so the million dollar question

this morning is,

how do we do that?

How do we make God

the center of our home?

This text here,

Deuteronomy 6, 4 through 9,

is going to give us

three ways that we,

as parents,

can make God

the center of our home.

Number one,

to make God

the center of the home,

parents must have

an uncompromising love

for the Lord.

Parents must have

an uncompromising love

for the Lord.

Look what verse 4 says.

Hear, O Israel,

the Lord our God,

the Lord is one.

Now this great passage

that we are going over

this morning,

Deuteronomy 6, 4 through 9,

is what we call

the Shema.

Okay?

And the word Shema

is a Hebrew word

that means

to hear.

That's the first word

here in verse 4.

Okay?

Also,

post-biblical rabbis

understood the role

of the Shema

to be at the very heart

of God's law.

If you remember correctly,

when Jesus was asked

by his critics,

what is the most important

of all of the commandments,

he quotes

the Shema

and its companion passage,

Leviticus 19.18.

This was one of the

fundamental tenets

of the Jewish faith.

And you know what?

Jesus' critics

obviously agreed with him.

And so verse 4

goes on to say

that the Lord is one.

Perhaps the biggest

precept in Judaism

and in Christianity

for that matter

is the concept

of what we call

monotheism,

the belief

that there is only

one God.

Now,

if you have the privilege

of working with children

or even youth

and explaining to them

that God is one

but yet he exists

in three distinct

eternal persons,

a lot of times

that will raise

a lot of questions

and trying to explain

that God is one

but yet three persons

can be a task.

I love the way

John MacArthur

explains this.

Listen to what he says.

He says,

quote,

one in this passage

does not mean singleness

but unity.

It is the same word

used in Genesis 2.24

where the husband

and wife

were said to be

one flesh.

And so you have

the husband and wife

as two individuals

coming together

as one flesh

in marriage.

We also have to

take into consideration

the context

of our passage

this morning.

The Israelites

are moving into

a new land,

a land that's inhabited

by pagans

who worship

multiple gods.

And so God here says

you are not to worship

those false gods.

You are to worship

the one true God,

Yahweh is my name,

the God that you

have entered into

a covenant relationship with.

And so this text says

that we are to worship

this God who is one

and we are to love him,

verse five,

with all of our heart,

with all of our soul,

and with all of our might.

Heart, soul, might.

This does not describe

three distinct natures

to a human being's existence.

Rather, it is explaining

to us that everything

that we are

is to be completely

sold out

to the Lord.

In other words, parents,

every aspect of our lives,

our recreation life,

our professional life,

our family life,

needs to be sold out

to him.

God must be at the center

of everything we do

and our kids

have to see that.

Our kids have to see us

loving God

with an uncompromising love.

Let me illustrate it

using a parable.

There was a guy

in the New Testament

that used parables

for illustrations

and it worked really well

for him,

so I'm going to do it.

Sally loved her husband,

Joe.

Sally and Joe

have been married

for roughly seven years

and Sally adored Joe.

She loved him

with all of her heart,

with all of her soul,

with all of her might.

She would call him

throughout the day

and send him

little text messages

just to remind him

how much she loved him

and looked forward

to seeing him

when he came home.

If Joe was having

a hard day at work

and was a little stressed out,

if she could help,

she would drop everything

she could

to be right by his side,

to help him

to be there with him.

She loved him

and she did everything

she could for him.

She even gave Joe a son.

They named him Joe Jr.

Now, Joe Sr., the husband,

he had a different concept,

a different kind of idea

of what love meant.

Joe would commonly

forget her birthday.

He would often forget

their anniversary.

He would regularly

go to the lake

to go fishing

and go hunting

and he would go

to the Clemson football game

no matter what.

Even if it was a day

they had designated

as date day,

he was going to the game.

And so,

when Sally asked him,

why do you do that?

Why do you go to the game

or go hunting and fishing

on the days

that we've got

someone watching the kids

and we can go out

and have a date?

And Joe would just

kind of blow her off

and say,

you know what?

No big deal.

We'll just go next week.

And then next week

would come

and it would go

and so forth.

Despite the neglect,

Sally never gave up

on their relationship.

She continued to love him.

As the years went by,

Joe Jr., their son,

saw how daddy treated mommy.

And Joe Jr. grew up thinking

that's how you treat your wife.

And so,

when he got married

and he had a kid,

Joe III,

Joe III,

watched how Joe Jr.

treated his wife

and he saw how his granddaddy

treated his grandmother.

What we see

in this little parable

is a downward spiral

of apathy

and despondency

from one generation

to the next.

And it's illustrative

of what can happen

when parents fail

to love God

with an uncompromising

kind of love

that our children can see.

If our kids

see in us

a love

for the Lord

that expresses itself

in apathy,

in despondency,

well,

there's a good chance

that they'll follow suit.

However,

if they see

a sincere love,

a uncompromising love

for God

that puts God first

in every single area

of their lives,

there's also a good chance

that they'll follow that as well

and not become

the next statistic.

To make God

the center of the home,

we,

the parents,

must have an uncompromising

love for God.

Number two,

to make God

the center of the home,

parents must model

biblical obedience.

Parents must model

biblical obedience.

Look what Moses says,

verse six.

He says,

and these words

that I command you today

shall be on your heart.

I want to look at three words

here in verse six.

It's the words words,

command,

and heart.

The word words

is the subject

of the sentence

and it's a reference

to scripture.

Okay?

The word command

is obviously the verb

and it can be translated

as to give in order

or to lay charge of.

In other words,

God's word,

scripture,

is a command,

a charge

that demands

absolute obedience

from the Christian

and the Christian's home.

And this brings us

to the next word,

which is the word heart,

which can also be translated

as inner mind

or will.

Now,

in the psychology

of the Old Testament,

the heart

is not

the center

of emotional life

and response.

Here in the United States,

when we think of the word heart,

we kind of get that

ushy-gushy

kind of thinking

of love

or something being

on our heart.

That's not what it means

in the Old Testament.

The heart

in the Old Testament

is the seat

of intellect

or the rational side

of humankind.

In other words,

for something

to be upon

the heart

means that it is

in a person's

constant,

conscious reflection.

And so as the Israelites

went throughout their day,

Moses is commanding them

to ponder

and to meditate

upon the word of God.

They were to be

so saturated

with God's word

that their obedience

to the word of God

naturally comes

as an outflow

of their love

for Him.

Once again,

John MacArthur

puts it this way.

He says,

quote,

the people

were to think

about these commandments

and meditate

on them

so that obedience

would not be a matter

of formal legalism

but a response

based upon

understanding.

I brought a magazine article

with me this morning.

It's a fairly

old magazine article.

It comes from a magazine

called

Parent Magazine.

And this article

was written

by a man named

Dr. Benjamin Spock.

I'm sure a number

of you in here

have heard his name

who during his lifetime

was considered

the leading pediatrician

in the medical community.

He wrote a book

called Baby and Child Care.

This book sold

more than 50 million copies

second only

to the Bible.

And in this article

he writes about something

that he calls

incidental learning

which is the kind

of learning

that takes place

when a child

watches a mom,

a dad,

a teacher,

even a peer.

So hear what he says

in this article.

He says that

children learn

a great deal

from a formal education

but they also

are educated

by identifying with

and imitating

their parents

which he goes on

to explain

is called

incidental learning.

He says that

children develop

the basic survival

tools they need

long before

they enter the world

of formal schooling.

Incidental learning

takes place

throughout a child's life

but a child's first teacher

are his parents

and they are

his most profound inspiration.

Examples of

incidental learning

includes a two-year-old

who picks up

several new words

each day

by listening to his parents

and a toddler

who takes his first steps

after he experiments

by holding on

to his parents.

A child,

as a child

becomes older

and encounters

new people

and environments

they begin to

imitate the behaviors

of people

other than their parents.

In preschool

or elementary school

they may pay attention

to the behaviors

of friends

or older children

at least in superficial matters

such as their manners,

their language

and their fashion.

Other admired adults

they may imitate

include daycare providers,

teachers

or camp counselors.

And during the preteen

and teen years

children identify

more strongly

with the beliefs

and the behaviors

of their peers.

Young children

usually identify

more closely

with the parent

of the same gender.

They absorb

crucial lessons

about social

and moral behavior

by studying that parent.

Children between the ages

of four to six

are usually eager

to observe adults

at work.

Many children

spend numerous hours

playing house

and what they're really doing

in these activities

is acting out

the roles

of their parents.

Boys may pretend

to say goodbye

to their wife

and girls

likewise

to their husbands.

By the age

of three and four

children delight

in cooking,

driving and playing house

just like mommy

and daddy.

This is for the school teachers.

Incidental learning

at home

also influences

how a child

will perform in school.

For example,

the best way

to instill

a love of books

in children

is to read to them

and for them

to see their parents

enjoying books.

He sums up

his article

by saying this.

If parents

want their child's

incidental learning

to be as beneficial

as possible,

then parents

should demonstrate

as often as possible

the qualities

they want

their child

to imitate.

I think we

as Christian

parents

want to be setting

the best

biblical example

possible.

And I know

we fail at times.

I know I fail

often.

But we

have to be

doing it

because

when our children

do not see us

walking closely

with the Lord,

that's a big problem.

If they don't see us

spending time

with God

every day,

if they don't see us

praying,

if they don't see us

getting into the Bible,

having our devotional

quiet time,

whatever you want to call it,

if they don't see us

doing it,

chances are

they're not going

to do it.

If our children

see in us

a love

or a lack thereof

of the church

and placing other

things before it,

chances are

our children

will do the same.

if our children

do not see us

placing a priority

on corporate worship,

on coming to Sunday school,

being involved

in some discipleship,

chances are

our children

will not either.

The bottom line

is this.

Our children

are watching us.

They're going to

imitate

what we do.

Let us

instill

into our children

biblical

obedience.

Biblical obedience.

To make God

the center of the home,

parents must model

biblical obedience.

And finally,

to make God

the center of the home,

parents must teach

God's Word

to their kids.

Parents,

you are the primary

disciples of your children.

Not your pastor,

not their Sunday school teacher.

You are the ones

primarily responsible

throughout the week

to open up this book

and to teach them.

Look what Moses says next

in verse 7.

He says,

you shall teach them,

that is scripture,

diligently to your children

and shall talk of them,

that is scripture,

when you sit in your house

and when you walk by the way

and when you lie down

and when you rise.

This word,

teach,

is a very interesting word.

It can actually be translated

pierced

or to sharpen.

If you're using

the NIV translation,

it uses the word

impress,

I-M-P-R-E-S-S.

And so it's the image

of an engraver

who is carefully

and meticulously

taking a piece of granite

and hammering at it

to make a beautiful piece

of artwork.

He only imagined

how meticulous that is

and how long

of a process

that is.

But that's what it's like

teaching our children

the Bible.

It's a long process.

It can be meticulous

at times.

It can even be difficult.

But it pays dividends

in the end.

We just don't teach

our children the scripture.

Moses says here

that we are to talk

about scripture

with them.

There's a difference

between teaching

our children scripture

and talking to them

about it.

It is our responsibility

to not only open

this book

and teach them

but also talk.

The difference is

is that talking

denotes a constant

repetition

to aid with memory.

Okay?

So this is the conversation

you're having around

the dinner table

at night.

This might be

the conversation

you have on the way

home from church

this afternoon

when you ask your child

what was it that you

all learned in Sunday

school today?

This can be a conversation

you have on the way

to the ball game.

Any conversation

as we're sitting

around the house

scripture has to be

a topic of discussion.

It should be

a primary topic

of discussion.

And when we do that

it helps to impress

into the minds

of our children

what they've been

taught at the church

and what we're teaching

them in God's word.

And so Moses closes

out this section

in verses 8 and 9

he says

you shall bind them

that is scripture

once again

as a sign on your hand

and they shall be

as frontlets

between your eyes

you shall write them

that is scripture

on the doorpost

of your house

and on your gates.

What in the world

does it mean

to take scripture

and bind it

to my hands

and put it

on my forehead

and on the doorpost

of my house?

What is he talking about?

Well when this was

originally written

there was a degree

of symbolism here

however later on

teachers of the law

began to take

this passage

extremely literal.

they would take

these boxes

that they would make

called phylacteries

and they would take

in these boxes

called phylacteries

and they would take

the Shema

this passage

we're looking at

and they would put

it inside of it

and then they would

take that box

those boxes

and put them

on their gowns

and on their headdresses

they would even

put them to the doorpost

of their house.

There is a degree

of symbolism in here

I believe

and what Moses

I believe is saying

is that the word

of God should be

so prevalent

in your life

and in your family's life

remember he's writing

to parents

that it should be

a constant guide

to how you live

and how your family lives.

Before her death

Morrow Coffey Graham

wrote a book

she wrote this book

about her experiences

as the mother

of a man

who would go on

to preach the gospel

to more than

any other person

in modern history.

I brought a little

excerpt of her book

with me

and in closing

this morning

I'd like to read it

to you.

Here's what she says

My husband and I

established a family altar

the day we were married

and we carried that through.

In the breakfast room

I always kept

a scripture calendar

with a verse for the day.

Each morning

we read that

and prayed to the Lord

and as we gathered

at the breakfast table

everyone would bow

his head

and fold his hands

as my husband

asked the blessing.

Often as I packed

the school lunches

I could hear my husband

talking to the children.

He helped them

memorize literally

hundreds of Bible verses.

I look forward

to our evenings together

as a family.

Everyone gathered

in the family room

and we did this

right after the dinner dishes

were put away.

It was the most important

things in our life

this time of Bible reading

and prayer

and listen to what she says.

I know that today

Billy recalls

those instructional periods

as among the most important

in his life

helping him

to become saturated

with the Bible

and since my children

have married

and gone their separate ways

and since my husband's death

I have found myself

with more time

to devote to prayer

and I pray unceasing

for Billy.

As many of you all

in this room

probably have already guessed

that the Billy

she's referring to here

is Billy Graham.

And one of the reasons

Billy Graham

was so great

is because he had parents

that faithfully taught him

the Word of God

in his home

and in his life

and because of this

this is one of the reasons

Billy grew up

practicing what he was taught

by a faithful mom

and dad.

What a responsibility

we as parents have

to raise our children

in the fear and admonition

of the Lord

to disciple them.

I don't think anyone

in this room this morning

is happy

with the moral decay

that our nation

is going through right now.

We need

a generation

of young people

who love Jesus

with all their heart

soul and might

that are serious

about making disciples

that are like

the eleven remaining

disciples

in Acts chapter 2

Acts 2 · chapter mention

who turn this world

upside down

for Jesus.

It starts with us.

The buck

stops

with you

mom and dad.

So let us be diligent

in discipling

our children.

You know

I've read

this book

as many of you guys have

I've read this book

front to back

many

many times.

I have yet

to find

an exception

clause

to raising

our kids

to discipling

our children.

I have yet

to find

a passage

of scripture

in there

where raising

our kids

and the fear

and admonition

of the Lord

is something

we can delegate

to a professional

like a youth

pastor

or senior

pastor

or somebody

else.

It's just

not there.

We

are called

to be the

primary

disciples

of our

children

and the

question is

are we

doing it?

So this

morning

as we enter

into a time

of invitation

maybe you

need to spend

some time

as do I

in prayer

asking God

to help you

with that

asking God

to show you

ways

that you

can take

that

responsibility

and be a

champion

with it.

Maybe you

need to spend

some time

here at the

altar

maybe you've

been visiting

with us

for several

weeks

and you

know

you're

thinking

of joining

our church

however the

Lord is

working in

your life

during this

time of

invitation

let God

have his

way

so I'm

going to

pray for

us

our musicians

will come

and lead

us

and you

just let the

Lord have

his way

in your life

this morning

would you

pray with

me

Father we

come before

you today

thankful

for the

word of

God

Father it

is your

word it

is without

error

and it

has complete

authority

over our

lives

the things

we like

and the

things we

do not

like it

has complete

and absolute

authority

and so

Father this

morning we

come and

pray that

Lord you

would take

your word

and work

in us

that for

every person

that is

here that

has children

or even

couples that

are looking

to have

children

that Lord

we would

do our

very best

to model

biblical

obedience

to love

you with

an uncompromising

love

to teach

our children

your word

may we be

caught faithful

doing that

each and

every day

Lord we

love you

and we

pray this

in Jesus

name

amen

god