The Wrong Use of Words (Part 1)

You know, one of the most cherished freedoms that we have in this country is the freedom of speech.

You know it's part of our Constitution, the First Amendment.

A part of the First Amendment goes like this.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion

or prohibiting the free exercise thereof

or abridging the freedom of speech.

And that goes on.

And it does not have abridging the freedom of speech underlined.

I did that to emphasize this is a part of the Constitution of the United States of America.

It is one of our most cherished rights.

No one can stop us from going out there on the street

and just telling everybody what we think and how we feel.

We can make fools of ourselves, and many people do, with that freedom.

But as Christians, we need to remember that we live under a higher authority than that Constitution.

Jesus made it clear to His followers,

If you're going to follow me, you've got to surrender not only your rights, but your life.

Look at how Jesus said it in Luke chapter 9.

Luke 9 · chapter mention

And He said to all, all who were there,

If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.

Taking up his cross daily, that phrase is talking about dying to self.

A cross is an instrument of death.

So Jesus said, if you want to be my disciple, if you want to follow me,

then you've got to deny yourself.

It can't be about you.

You know, Jesus is one who made it very, very clear.

To be my follower, you're going to be about me.

You're going to be about the Father's will.

Or you won't be my disciple.

You've got to deny yourself, take up your cross daily, die daily, and follow me.

He said something similar, but He said a lot more about it in Luke chapter 14, beginning in verse 25.

Luke 14 · chapter mention

I want to come to the end of that section and look at what Jesus said in verse 33.

Again, speaking to the crowds, wanting everyone to be clear.

This is what's involved.

You're going to be my disciple.

So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.

So Jesus is telling us very clearly, if you want to be mine, if you want to be a Christian,

then you've got to make a total commitment of your life.

You're holding nothing back.

You've got to make a total commitment of your life to live under my authority.

And that includes even our speech.

We as Christians, living under the authority of Jesus Christ, we do not have the right to just say whatever we think, whatever we feel.

Now, as children of God, God has put His Spirit in us.

And He so works in us to give us the right kinds of desires.

The Spirit of God works in us to motivate us to want to live a life that pleases Him, that surrenders to the authority of Jesus.

Excuse me.

I love the way Paul put it in Philippians chapter 2, verses 12 and 13.

Philippians 2:12

Look at it with me.

He's writing to Christians.

Excuse me.

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only in my presence, but much more in my absence,

work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.

For it is God who works in you both to will and to work for His good pleasure.

Paul is not telling them to work for your salvation.

He's writing to people who trust in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior by faith.

They're already Christians.

He's telling them to work out their faith.

Work out your salvation.

Put what you believe into practice.

In fear and trembling.

Don't be casual.

Don't be flippant.

Be serious.

Reverential.

Before God even.

But then he reminds them, if you're a Christian, as you work out your salvation,

this is not something you've got to force yourself to do.

Because the Spirit of God, we're living in you, will cause you to want to.

And as you want to, He will enable you to actually develop Christian character.

He will enable you to overcome the sinful habits and to start living like a Christian in the various aspects of our lives.

You know that if you're a Christian from personal experience.

None of us in this room are perfect.

We're not where we would like to be as Christians.

But if you look back over what?

Ten years?

Five years?

One year?

You can see how God has worked in you developing that Christ-like character.

You can see some progress has been made.

If you can't, you need to question what you call salvation.

Because Paul says it real clearly here.

God works in you both to will and to work for His good pleasure.

So we should see evidence in our lives of how God has worked in us like that

to cause us to live a life that pleases Him.

Or to be living a life that pleases Him.

That'll include our words.

You see where I'm going.

Proverbs has some memorable ways of describing how the speech of God's people should stand out

as being different from ungodly people.

Look at this one from Proverbs 29 verse 11.

Proverbs 29:11

A fool gives full vent to his spirit,

but a wise man quietly holds it back.

A fool gives full vent to his spirit.

A fool just lets you know what all's inside.

No restraint.

No filter.

But the wise man,

he holds it back.

He knows what he should say and should not say.

I want you to listen real carefully to what I'm going to say

because this is not a political statement in any way.

The people who are out in protests,

setting fires to cars,

screaming all kinds of profane things

about our new president,

these people are fools

because they are giving full vent

to their spirit.

They are not fools because they don't like Donald Trump.

They are not fools because they want to protest,

because they disagree or say they disagree.

What the Word of God says is

they are acting like fools

by the way that they are screaming and shouting

and just giving full vent to their rage and disagreement.

A wise liberal,

a wise person,

doesn't even have to be a Christian,

a wise person who despises Donald Trump,

who is opposed to everything he stands for,

a wise person

will speak that opposition

in a timely,

in a careful,

in a deliberate kind of way,

they'll discuss,

they'll debate,

they'll be civil about it.

As we're going to get into the Scripture,

not just today but in the future,

it's a fool

who just lets whatever's in out

explodes and erupts on everybody around them.

And sometimes,

let's just be honest,

not everybody in this room,

but sometimes most of us,

we act like fools, don't we?

We just let it out.

But wisdom,

we hold it back.

we think before we speak.

We weigh our words.

We can speak the truth

as we understand it.

That is totally the opposite

of what a friend or another person believes,

but we just need to do it

in the right way,

with the right attitude,

with the right spirit.

The book of James

is the Proverbs of the New Testament.

He describes the danger

of an unbridled tongue

in terms of a wildfire.

Look in James 3, verse 5.

James 3:5

How great a forest

is set ablaze

by such a small fire.

Our words matter.

However they come out,

wherever they come out,

our words matter

when we have personal

one-on-one conversations.

Our words matter

when we speak to one another

on the telephone.

When we communicate

by email or text or tweet.

Words matter

that you put on social media.

It's no different.

It's words of yours

just in print.

Words matter.

Here's what we need to understand.

A lot of the division,

the hostility,

the bad relationships

in our homes,

at work,

in churches,

in schools,

in government,

in our nation,

can be traced

to people's unbridled tongue.

To people

not thinking

before they speak.

People not speaking

in a timely,

appropriate,

controlled

kind of way.

Part of the problem,

we just don't think

seriously enough

about our speech.

you know,

we know,

we know,

we know that

stealing is bad.

We know that

attacking someone

and beating them up,

killing someone

is bad.

We need to also understand

that we can beat people up,

we can hurt people,

we can maim

people

in various ways

with our words.

Let me make a

clarification here.

If you're mad at me,

I'd much rather

you just tell me,

even cuss me out

than try to beat me up

or shoot me,

okay?

There is a big difference

in the two.

So don't misunderstand.

Last week,

we began looking

at why we need

to be serious

about our speech.

We looked at the power

of our words,

we looked at the revealing

nature of our words.

Today,

I want us to look

at the negative side

of our speech

and focus on the wrong

use of words.

We're going to start that.

What I want to look at today

is the twin towers

of destructive speech,

gossip and slander.

These words are often

used synonymously.

We may just use,

talk about gossip

and slander,

we're basically talking

about the same thing.

Sometimes,

it's really that way

in the Bible.

But sometimes,

they are used

to convey

one particular difference

that I want to point out.

Slander is hurtful speech

about a person

that's not true.

Slander's not true.

Slander is repeating things

about someone

that is false.

It involves making

false charges

against a person

that defames

that person,

their character,

their reputation.

If you went out

from here today,

this week,

and you told people

that I beat my wife,

you would be making

slanderous charges

against me.

You would have

slandered me

and defamed my character.

You may be thinking

to yourself,

how do I know

that's not true?

I'm alive,

aren't I?

That's how you know that.

Lisa can shoot a pistol.

In fact,

not too long ago,

she shot the actual

center out

of the target.

I don't mean

she shot the middle

of the target,

bullseye one time.

She shot the bullseye

so many times,

it tore up the paper

in the middle.

I am an idiot

about some things,

but I'm not going

to mess with her.

Do you know how

Proverbs describes

a slanderer?

Look at it.

Proverbs 10.

Whoever utters slander

is a fool.

You can't get any

simpler than that,

can you?

Now why would such

a person be called

a fool?

Because they know

what they're saying

is not true.

If you spread slander,

you're talking about

things you know

is not true

about someone,

trying to defame them,

tear up their reputation,

you're a fool

because you may

get found out.

The truth may

come forward,

eventually it will.

That's what

Proverbs is talking about.

Anyone who

intentionally tries

to hurt another

person's reputation

by spreading slander

is a fool.

Now let's look

at the word gossip.

It is sometimes

defined differently.

Gossip is hurtful

speech about a person

that may or may

not be true.

Gossip,

it may be the real

deal,

or it may not be.

Gossip involves

repeating personal,

private information

about someone

that should not

be repeated.

Whether it's true

or not,

it's just such

of a personal

and private matter

it does not need

to be repeated.

Proverbs reveals

the kind of damage

that gossip does.

First,

a gossip betrays

a confidence,

but a trustworthy

person keeps a secret.

That's from the NIV.

The ESV,

English Standard Version,

uses the word slander

there instead of gossip,

which shows how

these two words

are closely related

a lot of times

in Scripture.

Proverbs also says,

gossip separates

close friends.

These two verses,

look at them.

They reveal the kind

of damage that gossip

can do.

But for some reason,

I mean, gossip

can destroy a relationship,

destroy trust.

But for some reason,

many people,

maybe most people,

don't see any harm,

don't see any real harm

in gossip.

In fact,

we all do it sometimes,

don't we?

There may be a few people

here that

you really have worked on it,

you understand the truth

about it,

and you don't.

But most of us,

even if we know better,

even if we most of the time

do better,

we backslide.

And we usually introduce

our gossip

in innocent-sounding ways,

like,

have you heard?

Did you know?

You ever said this?

I don't know if it's true,

but,

you go ahead and tell it.

Here's one,

this will get most of us.

I probably shouldn't say this,

but.

And here,

we're all good southerners,

aren't we?

Most of us.

And we know

that if we first say,

bless his heart,

we can say whatever

we want to do,

whatever we want to say.

Bless his heart,

he's just a sorry writer.

Bless his heart,

Mike's just an idiot.

You know that?

We do those things.

I want you to think.

We do those things.

But our gossip

serves no good purpose.

It really exposes

us,

when we repeat it,

as being troublemakers,

to some degree.

It really says

that we don't care

about the person

that we're talking about.

And rest assured,

if you know someone

who's just a gossip,

and they're always

telling you about somebody

or wanting to tell you

about somebody,

they're talking about you

when you're not there.

It's just in their makeup.

Why are we so quick

to repeat or listen to gossip?

Bottom line is,

we like it.

And the book of Proverbs

points it out.

Look at it.

The words of a whisperer

somebody who talks

about somebody

behind their back.

Somebody who doesn't

want other people

to know what they're saying.

The words of a whisperer

are like delicious morsels.

They go down

to the inner parts

of the body.

Let's all admit it.

There are times

we like gossip.

We like to hear it

or we like to repeat it

or both.

The negative information,

the juicy things

about people.

The reason is,

we have a fallen,

sinful nature.

And that fallen,

sinful human nature

considers gossip

delicious morsels.

We don't even have

to put ketchup on it,

do we?

We can just say it.

It's good by itself.

Now, even though gossip

is good to us,

it's pleasurable to us,

it's not good to God.

Proverbs says it tastes good to us,

but it sickens God.

He hates such speech.

I do not have it in my,

on the outline,

but I want you to look

at Romans chapter 1.

Romans 1 · chapter mention

If you want to turn to it,

I'm going to read it.

In Romans chapter 1,

Romans 1 · chapter mention

Paul is,

okay,

we do have good,

I'm going to quit talking

about those guys

in the balcony.

Tim did a good job today.

Thank you very much.

Paul is writing about

the sinfulness

of humanity.

He goes into great detail

beginning in Romans chapter 1,

Romans 1:18

verse 18,

about how

even people who don't

have the law of God,

Jews,

he's talking about then,

God reveals himself

to everybody

in various ways,

through nature,

various ways,

but everybody rejects

what God does

reveal about himself.

We sin.

We reject,

we reject the truth

about God.

We reject his truth,

period.

And the more we do that,

the more God just says,

okay.

He just gives us over

to that sinful mind

and way of life.

And in verse 21,

29,

here's how Paul describes

sinful humanity.

They were filled

with all manner

of unrighteousness,

evil,

covetousness,

or greed,

malice.

They are full of envy,

murder,

strife,

deceit,

maliciousness,

and look what's

in this list.

They are gossips,

slanderers,

haters of God.

I know gossip

and slander

is wrong,

it's sinful.

But without

reading it like this,

I would never

categorize it

in the same list

as haters of God

and murder.

But it's there

in God's word

because it's sin,

because God hates it,

because God will punish

those whose lives

are characterized

in any kind

of sinful way.

We need to ask God

if we're Christians,

and that is something

we struggle with.

We know it's wrong,

we don't want to do it,

but we struggle with it.

We need to ask God

to help us

to change our taste buds.

Let's ask Him

to start now.

We need to set up

some guards

for ourself

to avoid

repeating gossip

and slander.

Here's one way

to evaluate

whether we ought

to pass on

certain information,

whether it's

gossip or slander.

When you hear something,

find out something,

and you're tempted

to pass it on,

ask these questions

of yourself.

Is what I'm about

to say true?

Is what I have heard,

and I want to say,

is it true?

If it's not,

or you don't know,

don't say it.

If you don't know,

forget it,

drop it.

Number two,

is what I'm about

to say necessary?

If it's true,

ask next,

is it necessary?

If you think it is,

explain to yourself

why.

How will it help

the person

I'm going to talk about?

How will it help

the situation?

If you think it's true,

or if you know it's true,

think it's necessary,

third question,

is what I'm about

to say motivated

by love?

Would you want

that person

to say something

similar about you?

Can you fulfill

the second great commandment,

love your neighbor

as yourself,

by repeating that?

The next time

you're faced

with a decision

about repeating

information about someone,

stop and ask

these three questions.

Is it true?

Is it necessary?

Is repeating it

an expression of love?

I need to do that.

And I'm going to guess

that you do too.

Most of us anyway.

Now there are some things

that are not pleasant

that do need to be

passed on.

If a young girl

came to you

and explains to you

very seriously,

confidentially,

that Mr. Jones

has molested her,

should you keep

that to yourself?

Let's ask

these three questions.

Is the information

true?

Well, if you don't

have any reason

to think it's not,

something like that,

you've got to

accept it's true.

Is it necessary

to say something?

Yes.

Morally

and legally.

You cannot let

something like that go.

A lot of times

it does

get let go.

I didn't think

about this

in the first service

but I'm going to

say it here.

That's something

we will not let go.

We will not sleep

under the floor,

under the table

in any shape,

form or fashion.

We take all

that kind of stuff

seriously.

And if you know

somebody is a member

of our church,

has joined our church

and it appears

that they want

to work with our

preschool or children

or youth,

but you know

they're a sex offender.

You tell me

and you tell me

before the sun

goes down today,

that is not gossip.

That is right.

That will protect

our children.

That person can be

forgiven and made

right with God.

That person is not

going to be given

a chance to work

with children

in this church.

That is what's right.

There's times

it's not gossip

that which is true

that would be hurtful.

It's necessary

and it's loving

to protect children.

It is loving,

it is right

to protect children.

Now before we

leave this subject

we need to understand

that the problem

with gossip and slander

is not limited

to just repeating it.

Listening and tolerating it

make us involved

in the evil.

We need to be careful

what we listen to,

what we sort of feed on.

Ray Ortlund

is a pastor

who wrote about

this passage,

wrote a book,

commentary.

He describes

the person

who habitually listens

to gossip

and slander

like this.

Look at it.

A person who listens.

A person can become

a garbage collector.

Someone in the group

becomes the one

to whom,

look at this,

disgruntled people go

because that person

will listen

and sympathize

and be a shoulder

to cry on

and a rallying point

for complaints

and a hero

to those

with hurt feelings.

And that listener

becomes a bigger problem

in the group

than the talkers.

He's not talking

about someone

who has just

a compassionate heart,

who's an encourager,

a sympathizer.

He's not talking

about someone

who just tries

to be a friend

and a helper

to people who are hurting.

Look at what

he's saying there.

He's talking

about someone

who's just like

a magnet

to the negative,

critical,

whining,

complaining,

gossiping people

around them.

Don't be that person.

Ask God

to help you

to change

if you are

that person.

We need to

always be on guard

that we don't

become this kind

of garbage collectors.

We need to learn

to just

walk away

from people

if necessary.

Don't show

interest.

Maybe even just say,

I don't want to hear it.

It's better

to offend somebody

by saying to them,

I don't want to hear it,

than to offend God

by listening to it

when you know

you shouldn't.

There are times

when we all

just need to be

more confrontational.

just say

to somebody,

I don't want

to hear it.

Or

say,

you know,

before you talk

about that person,

I'll go with you.

Let's go to that person.

Let's go to that person

and ask them

what you're saying.

Is it true?

That'll close

the mouths

of a lot of people.

But gossip

and slander,

they're serious

problems.

There's serious

problems

in many people's lives,

even some Christians.

Always remember

that gossip,

slander,

it only hurts people.

It doesn't serve

any good purpose.

We need to learn

to stop

listening to it.

Stop

repeating it.

Any kind of

harmful speech.

Our words

matter.

They're going to matter

on the day

of judgment.

I want to repeat

the way I closed

last week

with what Jesus

said about

our words being

one of the criteria

for judgment

at the end

of our lives.

This is serious.

Something we need

to take to heart.

So read it with you.

Jesus said,

I tell you,

on the day of judgment,

people will give

account for every

careless word

they speak.

For by your words

you will be justified.

And by your words

you will be condemned.

That's a sobering statement

that we need to take

to heart.

Would you pray with me now?

Dear God,

Dear God,

convict us

of the seriousness

of our words.

Father, right now,

convict us

if we are guilty

of being gossipers

or slanderers.

and if we are,

help us to truly

confess it to you

and repent of it

and seek your forgiveness.

Help us, dear God,

to start being on guard

and not listening to it

or repeating it.

Dear God,

help us to understand

that if we're Christians,

by doing this

or not doing that,

that's not what saves us.

Help us all

to understand

that salvation

is a gift

of your grace,

your undeserved

love and favor

that we receive

through faith in Jesus

plus nothing else.

Dear God,

help us to understand

that we're forgiven

because Jesus

paid the penalty

for our sins.

Help us to see

that if we truly

are believers

in Jesus,

then because your spirit

is in us,

we will have

the right kind

of desires.

We won't always

act on them,

but you won't let us

just live

like unbelievers.

help us.

Help us to see,

dear God,

when it comes

to the matters

of our speech,

it's your spirit

who gives us

the desire

to be obedient

in these ways.

Help us,

dear God,

to seek

your help

to do it,

to make the changes

we need to make.

Lord,

if there are people

in this room

who are not Christians

and they've been convicted

this morning

of this particular sin

in their life,

help them to understand

that the way

they need to respond

is to come to you

and just confess,

I am a sinner.

I am separated

from you by my sin.

Help that man

or woman

or young person

to turn from their sin,

change their mind

about it,

seek your help

to stop it.

Help them to see,

to understand,

to believe

that when Jesus

died on that cross,

He actually took

the punishment

that they deserve.

So help them

to trust Jesus

and call upon Him

to be their Savior.

Help them to truly

surrender their lives

to Him,

to His authority

in every aspect

of their lives.

Help all of us,

dear God,

as Christians

to renew that commitment

if we need to

this morning.

In an attitude of prayer,

you just listen to the Lord

and respond to Him

as He speaks.

I'd be happy to pray

with you here at the front.

That would be helpful

and meaningful to you.

I would like to do that.

But the important thing

is that you listen to God

and obey Him

during this time.