The Wise Use of Words (Part 2)

If someone asks you, what are some precious jewels?

What would come to your mind? What would you put on your list?

Maybe a diamond, emerald, ruby?

Some of you may have such a list with Valentine's Day coming up. I don't know.

Well, according to Proverbs,

we could put wise words on that list of precious jewels.

Because the book of Proverbs compares wise words, knowledgeable words,

words of understanding with precious jewels.

Look at it. Chapter 20, verse 15.

There is gold and abundance of costly stones,

but the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel.

Raymond Ortlund says that last phrase,

the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel,

means that knowledgeable, informed, intelligent words

are rare and valuable in God's eyes.

He then points out that we understand the value of wise speech.

Look what he says.

We know what it's like to be listening to someone,

and it's obvious they do not know what they're talking about.

We also know what it's like to fall silent

whenever a certain person speaks,

because whatever that person has to say

is wise and helpful and almost a work of art.

You know what he's talking about.

Think about one of the last big family reunions you went to,

or maybe a large work-related gathering.

Think about one of the last big family reunions you went to,

weren't there several people that you just hoped

you didn't get stuck having to have a conversation with?

I mean, you knew that they were going to talk about a lot of things

that they really didn't know what they were talking about.

You know people that they like to talk a lot,

but they just don't say much.

But in that gathering,

there was one person, maybe two,

that you wanted.

You were going to make sure you got to spend some time with them.

Not so much because you had things to say,

but because you wanted to listen to what they had to say.

Because you value what they think.

You recognize that that person is wise, is helpful.

You benefit, other people benefit from what they have to say.

We know from experience

that knowledgeable, wise, and helpful speech

really is a precious jewel

because of its value

and it's in short supply.

Well, Proverbs has much to say about our speech

as we are learning.

We shifted gears from the negative to the positive last week

and started looking at the good use of words,

the value of wise speech.

Last week we focused on the value of speaking truthfully,

appropriately, timely, calmly,

and then speaking less.

Well, I want us to continue this line of thinking

by looking at how a wise person

uses words to encourage.

A wise person understands the value

of words of encouragement.

Now, the book of Proverbs

describes this idea

of speaking encouraging words

in a rich variety of ways

and I want to bring out three of them.

I want us to look at three statements.

First, from Proverbs 10.

Look at it.

The lips of the righteous feed many.

The word feed is translated

nourish in the NIV,

encourage in the New Living translation,

in some passages,

this word,

nourish, encourage, feed,

is translated to shepherd

as in shepherding,

taking care of sheep.

This verse is saying that

encouraging words

are words that provide

what we might call emotional

or spiritual nourishment,

comfort,

comfort,

guidance,

even security,

protection.

Look at the second verse

in Proverbs 12.

Anxiety in a man's heart

weighs him down,

but a good word

makes him glad.

The word anxiety

in this verse

is referring to fear,

maybe fear of the unknown

about the future.

It's talking about worry.

Several commentators

in trying to

describe what it's talking about

use the word depression

in describing the extent

of the fear

or anxiety.

The idea is that

when we are really anxious

about something,

it can weigh us down.

It can give us

an emotionally heavy heart.

And you know

that's especially true

about depression.

All of us,

to some degree,

most of us,

in small degrees,

we have experienced

times of depression.

Well, what is helpful

in such a situation

is described in this verse

as a good word.

A good word

that makes a person glad,

that cheers him up.

And so,

from this perspective,

this verse,

encouraging words

could be any kind

of good words

that provide

an emotional

or spiritual lift

to a person

that's down.

Encouraging words

could be words

that just sort of

pick someone up

who's down.

Let's look at the third

from Proverbs 16.

Gracious words

are like a honeycomb,

sweetness to the soul,

and health

to the body.

Now,

both the NIV

and the New American Standard

translation,

they translate

the second part

of that verse

more literally

like this,

sweet to the soul

and healing

to the bones.

They're describing

the power of words

figuratively

to heal bones.

Now,

let's note two things

about the effect

that gracious words

can have

on an individual

who receives them.

they can have

a sweet taste.

They have a pleasantness

to them

when we hear them.

They're sweet

to the soul.

And they have

a healing touch.

Healing

to the bones

is the way

the writer

describes it.

So,

encouraging words

we're talking about.

There are all kinds

of words.

But they can be

any kind

of gracious words

that are just

pleasant.

They bring

healing

to emotional

or spiritual

wounds.

Now,

let's try

to apply this now.

We see

from these three

verses,

there's just

all kinds

of words

we can use

to encourage

another person.

There's all kinds

of ways

we can use

words wisely,

helpfully,

to pick people

up

when they need it.

What all

three verses

have in common

is that they

provide emotional,

spiritual,

and or

physical support

according to

the person's

need.

But in order

for us

to be able

to wisely

encourage

the person

that God's

brought into

our lives,

we've got to

take an interest

in them.

We've got to

notice them.

We've got to

pay attention

to them.

We've got to

try to

find out

what their

needs are.

So,

here's where

we're going

to pause.

How well

and how

often

do you

do that?

I want you

to think

about the

people who

are closest

to you.

You know,

as we go

through any

kind of study

on Sunday

morning,

Sunday night,

Wednesday night,

whenever,

as you go

through your

own personal

Bible study,

try to apply

it where you

are to how

your life is.

Don't think

in generalities.

right now,

we're talking

about the

wisdom of

using our

words to

encourage people.

We're talking

about encouraging

speech.

And there's a

lot of different

ways we can do

that.

But here's what

I want you to

do.

Think about the

people that you

are the closest

to.

The people that

God has in your

life, in your

family, among

your friends,

people you work

with, go to

school with.

Do you know

how those

closest to you

need to be

encouraged right

now, today,

based on what

you know is

going on in

their life?

Think about it

in light of what

we've seen in

those verses.

Is there

someone around

you right now

who is in need

of your

shepherding

words,

of comfort

maybe?

Or they

need you to

sort of provide

some guidance.

Or it may be

there's fear

and they need

words that will

convey security.

Or maybe you

need to help

them in applying

God's word in a

way that will

nourish them

spiritually.

right now, is

there anyone

close to you

that's allowed

stress or

fear to

weigh them

down?

They've got a

heavy heart.

It may be

that hearing

encouraging words

of affirmation

from you,

it may be that

your loving

words of

concern

is what

will pick

them up

quicker

than anything

else could.

The third

application for

that third

verse,

is there anyone

in your life

that maybe

has a wounded

spirit?

Maybe as a

result of some

things that you

have said

or done

to them,

it may be

that what they

need is to

hear from

your lips

some heartfelt,

sincere

encouragement.

Words that

will lift

them up.

Words that

will give

them hope.

Words that

God will use

to meet

that real

need that

they're

struggling

with right

now.

Or could

it be that

there's just

some people

in your

life that

they just

need to

hear you

speak some

pleasant

words for

a change?

Let's be

real honest.

Most of us

need to put

forth more

effort to

notice what's

going on in

the lives of

the people

around us.

You don't

need to

worry about

the stranger

on the

street.

You don't

need to be

concerned at

all about

the so

called

celebrities

that are

all over

the news

on the

internet

and on

TV.

What they

do and

what they

think

matters

zero.

What they

think and

what they're

doing is a

negative number

in terms of

what matters

in your

life,

in my

life,

and in

the world

that really

is.

But the

people that

you live

with,

the people

you go to

school with,

people you

work with,

people that

you worship

the Lord

with right

here in

this church

family,

we need to

ask God

to help

us to

develop a

real desire

to know

what's going

on in their

life so that

we can

encourage

them.

And we

need to

ask God

to help

us to

develop the

habit of

not just

thinking about

being an

encourager,

but actually

speaking words

that heal,

that give

hope,

that lift

up,

that comfort,

that just

plain

encourage in

some way.

Now,

not only do

people around

us need

it, but

we do

too,

don't we?

Or you

might say,

I don't need

that.

I don't like

criticism, but

as long as

people don't

criticize me,

I don't

really need

all that

encouraging,

fluffy stuff.

You're lying.

You're a

human being.

Encouraging

words can

lift you.

they can do

something to

you that

nothing else

can do.

You like

it.

You enjoy

it because

it meets a

need that

we all have

as a human

being.

We need to

be encouraged.

Now,

I want you to

look again at

that last

Proverbs 16,

24.

Gracious words

are like a

honeycomb,

sweetness to

the soul,

and health

to the body.

Why would

that not

also apply

to the

godly person

who speaks

the words

as well as

the person on

the receiving

end?

it helps

us.

It's

beneficial to

us.

It's

sweet.

It's

pleasant to

us,

for us,

to speak

such words.

We need

to do it.

And people

in our lives

need to hear

it.

Starting

today,

and I want

you to make

a commitment

for every day

this week,

look for

opportunities

in the lives

of those

special people

who are in

your life.

Look for

opportunities.

Look for

needs

for you

to speak

encouraging

words to

them.

I mean,

make it a

commitment.

Starting

today,

you're going

to start

looking.

What are

some needs

that an

encouraging

word for

me could

meet?

Legitimately.

Pick out

specific people

that you

know,

maybe in

your home

that especially

need it right

now,

or somebody

you work

with or

go into

school with,

or somebody

in your

Sunday

school class.

Make it a

point.

Speak,

need specific

words of

encouragement

to them.

We need to

ask God to

help us to be

wise with our

words.

words.

We need to

ask God to

help us to be

wise with our

words every

day in all

kinds of ways

for sure.

But we need

help.

We need

reminders to

be an

encourager every

day.

Now,

since we've

looked at the

importance of

discovering people's

needs in order

to know how to

encourage them,

I think it's

important that we

sort of take a

detour from the

next point about

wisely using our

words, let's

think about this.

A wise person

knows that

sometimes words

are not enough.

You see, as I

was preparing this

week and got to

thinking about how

important it is to

be an encourager,

to offer encouraging

words to the

people we are

closest to

especially, I also

got to thinking,

in a lot of

situations, words

are important but

words are not

enough.

There are times

when words alone

fail to meet the

need at hand.

And Proverbs

clearly illustrates

this by comparing

the person who is

willing to work

with the person

who only wants to

talk.

Look at it

from Proverbs 14.

All hard work

brings a profit,

but mere talk

leads only to

poverty.

Now remember,

Proverbs are just

general rules of

life.

This is how life

normally works.

And generally

speaking, the

farmer, the

business person

that would be in

mind here, the

person who is

willing to work

hard, it's

going to be to

their advantage.

They're going to

be able to take

care of

themselves.

It is profitable

to work hard in

this world.

That's just a

basic way God

created life to

work.

If you work

hard normally,

it's to your

advantage.

It is profitable.

But people who

just talk a good

game, who just

talk about what

they're going to

do, but never

do it, they're

going to come up

short.

They're going to

be needy,

sometimes even in

poverty, literally.

The ESV study

Bible says this

verse is a

rebuke against

people who are

always talking and

planning, but

never accomplishing

anything.

You know, it is

good to plan and

to think.

It's even good to

dream and have

goals.

But there comes a

time when it's

time to quit

thinking about

this.

It's time to quit

looking at all the

plans.

It's time to stop

talking about it.

It's time to do

something.

There comes a time

when there's

nothing more to be

said.

And we've just

got to do.

food.

That's what he's

talking about.

Now, to put this

another way, there

are times when even

our well-meaning,

encouraging words are

absolutely no

substitute for

action.

In fact, they're

just an excuse.

I want you to look

at what James, the

wisdom writer of the

New Testament, says

about this very thing

we're looking at.

From James

James 2 · chapter mention

chapter 2.

If a brother or

sister is poorly

clothed and lacking

in daily food, and

one of you says to

them, go in peace, be

warmed and filled,

without giving them

the things needed for

the body, what good

is that?

James is trying to

teach in this section

that faith without

works is meaningless.

If your life doesn't

back up your profession

of faith, your

profession of faith is

meaningless.

And so he compares

it here.

Words of compassion

without acts of

compassion are

meaningless.

We need to let this

sink in.

Some of the people

that we do need to

encourage with our

words, they need to

experience from us

encouraging actions.

Some of the people

in some of the

situations that you

thought about a

moment ago, some of

the people close to

you, who have needs

that you're aware of,

that need your

encouragement, your

encouraging words,

some of them need for

you to go another

step and show some

encouraging actions as

well.

Because if you don't,

your words are not

going to bring about

the needed change that

they need and you

really want them to

experience.

Now, think with me.

What are some of the

things that people in

your life who you

care about, you want to

meet their needs, what is

it that they need

beside your encouraging

words?

Well, just because of

the day in which we

live, knowing how life

can be, I know that

there are some people in

your life that in

addition to your words,

they need time.

They need face time

with you.

I'm talking about in

person, eye to eye.

They need your

attention.

They need to know that

you care enough to sit

down and be with

them.

Look into their eyes.

Listen.

Really listen to what

they have to say.

Some people in your

life really need it

because they rarely have

it.

And it may not be that

there are people in

your life who need

your attention.

It may not be that

you're just never

there.

The problem is, when

you are there, you

aren't there.

If you think spending

time with people, with

most of the time your

face is stuck in an

iPhone, or you're

preoccupied with your

iPad, or listening to

the radio, got your

earphones on, or you

got to watch TV,

B, or B, what you

think is multitasking,

you're not giving

people the time, the

attention.

You're not giving

people the you that

they really need.

I want you to look at

this familiar picture on

the screen.

That particular picture is

not one you've seen, but

you've seen one like

it.

Lisa and I were in

Pigeon Forge last

fall.

We're at a restaurant.

This is in the

morning.

Those are teenagers,

older teenagers.

They're not looking at a

menu.

Each one has their face

in that iPad, iPhone.

They made no eye

contact.

They carried on no

conversation.

When the food came,

they moved their phone

over to put the plate

there, and they ate and

watched that.

They didn't talk to one

another.

But even worse, one

night on that same

trip, Lisa and I went

out to eat.

Now, I was sitting here,

and Lisa was there, and

over here, it was just in

my eye contact view.

There was a lady about

my age who appeared to

be with her mother.

And the lady my age, I

am not exaggerating, she

caught my attention, and

all she did for the time

she gave her order, I

guess, until the food

came, all she did was

look down and do

something with her iPhone.

She didn't look at her

mother, she didn't talk

to her mother, she

didn't listen to her

mother, because mother

didn't talk.

She just fooled with that

phone.

And her mother, sitting

across the table, sitting

up with her hands on the

table, just sort of

staring at her daughter,

sort of pleasant looking,

but no kind of

interaction.

And I thought about that,

and I told Lisa about

that.

They're supposed to be

out spending time

together, but they

didn't spend any time

together.

There were a few points

where I did note that the

woman my age with her

phone said a few words to

her mother, obviously,

about what she was doing

on that phone, what she

was looking at, but her

mother didn't care a thing

in the world about it.

Technology is a wonderful

thing.

I use it every day.

I enjoy technology.

But I want you to

understand something.

A lot of people in this

room, you are allowing

such technology to

destroy personal

relationships with people

that I know you really

and do care about, you

love.

Some of you parents are

allowing your teenagers

or even younger to

develop those kind of

habits and inability to

communicate by always

having that before their

face as if you don't

exist.

And the dumbest thing of

all is you pay for it.

I've got two boys that

you know and you can ask.

If you pay for it, it's

yours.

You just let them use it.

And you're the one that

needs to be in control and

do what needs to be done.

But you know why a lot of

your teenagers do that?

Because they learned it

from you.

Maybe not it was an iPhone

or an iPad.

Maybe it was the TV.

Maybe it was the radio.

Maybe you were always on the

phone with your buddy.

But they learned that family

time really doesn't mean

anything.

There's really no such thing

in our house as personal,

looking at one another,

listening to one another,

carrying on a conversation

with one another, and

actually taking an interest

in one another's lives.

There's a tremendous

breakdown in personal

interaction in this country.

And it is basically not

destroying families like

drugs and alcohol, but it's

destroying families' ability

to communicate, to express

love, to know and be known,

to develop lives together,

husbands and wives, parents

and children.

And it filters on out into

every other relationship as

well.

Many people in your life, or

some people at least, need to

have you to give them your

undivided attention, need to

see your eyes, know that your

ears are tuned more than

anything else they need from

you.

They may not say that, but it

is true.

Now quickly, some people need

our help physically,

materially, financially.

Some people that we have good

intentions of encouraging them

with our words, they have

needs that we need to step up

to the plate and actually meet.

Because God's placed them in our

lives for us to do this.

And you don't have to have a lot

of money or even excess funds to

do it.

I remember times growing up, and

my family, we were not poor

people, but we were not well-off

people.

We were below comfortable

people.

I didn't know that until I got

to be older.

But I figured it out.

But I can remember my parents

buying, not just a bag of

groceries, but buying real

needed food and clothing and

other necessities for a neighbor

family with four boys who are in

desperate shape.

Severe poverty through circumstances

beyond their control.

And other neighbors stepped up and

did that for this family.

And back in those days, my parents

and these other neighbors, they

didn't tell this family, we're

praying for you.

Why don't you call this government

agency?

Why don't you call that social

agency?

Or let's see if we can get our

church involved.

No.

My parents and these other

neighbors, they did what they

could do to meet needs that they

saw and cared about.

And yes, they got their church

involved.

But they didn't let their church

or some other organization be a

substitute for their involvement,

for their sacrificial giving to

meet needs that God laid before

them, put on their heart they

needed to meet, even if it costs

us more than we can really afford.

Some people who need your

encouragement, they need more than

that and it will cost you.

But let me also say some people

who need your encouragement may

need help that you cannot provide.

For an example, as we were talking

about depression earlier, I am fully

aware that some people suffer with

severe depression.

And they need more than an

encouraging word from a loving

friend.

They need that.

They may need professional help.

They may need spiritual counseling.

They may need to see a medical

doctor.

They may need to see a counselor.

And so when those situations

arise, we need to offer our

encouraging word but do whatever we

can to get them the help that they

need that we can't provide.

Let's go back to words.

Words are powerful.

We've seen already in our other

studies, they can destroy but they can

also build up.

And as God's people, that's what we're

called to do.

To use our words to build up.

Use our words to encourage.

And I want to encourage you to make a

commitment that starting today, you're

going to be more aware of the need to

be an encourager to people you already

know, you live with, you work with, you

go to school with.

Ask God to just give you the desire and

show you how and when and where to do

these kind of things.

But I want to conclude that we have each

of these messages on our words.

Words matter more than a lot of people

think because Jesus made it clear, made

it perfectly clear in how he described

words being used on judgment day.

Look at it again.

I tell you, Jesus said, on the day of

judgment, people will give account for

every careless word they speak.

For by your words you will be justified.

And by your words you will be condemned.

Let's pray together.

Dear God,

Father, we are selfish people

who naturally just look out for

ourselves.

But help us this morning, dear God, to

be awakened to the fact that there are

people right around us that we know and

love who need for us to notice them,

take an interest in them, see their needs,

and act.

Father, show us who we need today to speak

some encouraging words to.

Show us what kind of words.

Help us to do it from a motivation of real

love, care, concern.

Help us to desire deeply to lift this

person up.

Lord, show us what's needed in addition to our

words.

Show us what needs to change there, not just

one time, but the lifestyle change.

Show us, dear God,

how we need to speak and act in an

encouraging way.

Then an attitude of prayer.

Let's listen to the Lord and respond to Him

right now.

Understand that if you're not a Christian,

your greatest need is a relationship with

Jesus Christ that comes through turning from

your sin and trusting Him and Him alone for

your salvation.

Understand that it's by the grace of God that

we can even speak encouraging words appropriately.

So seek God's help, first of all in this.