Living Like a Christian in Our Relationships with Other People (Part 1)

Have you ever thought about the variety of ways

that we all use the word love?

I'm gonna guess, hopefully I'm right,

you have told your spouse very recently

that you love her or you love him.

But you may have also said,

or at least you've heard somebody say,

I love my dog.

I love the weather we're having right now.

I love that movie that I saw last week.

I love ice cream.

Now, think.

Do you love ice cream, movies, the weather, and your dog

the same way that you love your spouse?

Now, I hope nobody would say yes.

But I'm just trying to show this word love.

We have a hard time nailing down a definition.

We have a hard way of describing what we mean.

But most people, if you do pin them down,

in some way they will use the word feeling

to describe what they mean by love.

That's the most popular way to describe it today.

You hear it all the time.

Somebody can fall in or out of love.

Some people have a burning love one day,

but later on it burns out.

We just have a difficult time describing what the word love means,

but the Apostle Paul didn't have that problem.

I want you to turn with me to Romans chapter 12

Romans 12 · chapter mention

and see how he described the love that God intends for his children,

us, to demonstrate toward one another.

And as we go through this, we're going to see,

as Paul describes love,

it's an attitude.

It is a mindset,

not really an emotion.

What we're going to see is that God commands us to love one another.

And you think about it.

If God commands us to do this,

to love one another,

it cannot be a feeling

because you cannot make someone.

You cannot command someone to feel a certain way.

Can you?

No, love is something that we do.

Love is a choice.

Love is a commitment.

It may or may not be

something we feel

in every situation.

This kind of love is described in Romans chapter 12,

Romans 12:9–13

verses 9 through 13.

But before we read this,

I want you to keep something in mind

because what we're going to read,

in some ways you're going to think,

well, this just is impossible.

And it's impossible to love

a certain person

like this.

Keep in mind,

Paul is writing to Christians.

The other long description

or comments on love

is in 1 Corinthians chapter 13.

1 Corinthians 13 · chapter mention

Paul wrote 1 Corinthians 13

about what love is

and all these kind of things,

how superior love is

above everything else,

the greatest Christian virtue.

Paul writes in Romans,

he writes in Corinthians

to Christians.

When God saved us,

He put His Spirit in us.

We have the ability,

not because of our strength,

not because we're something special,

we have the ability

because the Spirit of God lives within us,

to love people

just like we're going to read about

in this chapter.

You can love

some hard-to-love people

in your life.

And there are people

who are hard to love.

There are people that

it's just everything within you

as a Christian

to love.

But we can.

The key is

we've got to

cooperate with the Spirit of God

when He prompts us

to keep our mouth closed,

when He prompts us

to act a certain way

towards some of these

hard-to-love people.

We've got to cooperate

with the Holy Spirit

and we've got to learn

to develop this loving attitude

that will translate

into loving actions

like we read about

in these verses.

Romans 12.

Let's read it.

Verses 9 through 13.

Let love be genuine.

Abhor what is evil.

Strongly hate

what is evil.

Hold fast

to what is good.

Love one another

with brotherly affection.

Outdo one another

in showing honor.

Do not be slothful

and zeal.

Be fervent

and spirit.

That's a little s

in most translations.

It is what I'm reading

today in ESV.

He's talking about

our spirit here,

not the Holy Spirit.

Although that's not,

it's possible

He's talking about

the Holy Spirit.

But we're going to

take it as

do not be slothful

and zeal.

Be fervent

in your spirit

as you serve

the Lord.

Rejoice in hope.

Be patient

in tribulation.

Be constant

in prayer.

Contribute to the needs

of the saints

and seek to show

hospitality.

We're in a series

from Romans 12.

We're talking overall

about how God

wants us to live

like a Christian

wherever we are.

We've talked about

living like a Christian

in our relationship

with Him

and really focused on

that requires

wholehearted commitment.

We've talked about

how to live

like a Christian

in the way

that we think

about ourselves.

It means,

as we saw

in verses 3 through 8,

don't think too highly

of yourselves.

Don't be prideful.

But the opposite

of that,

humility,

is not don't think

I can't do anything

that I know anything.

The opposite is

be objective

about yourself.

Be realistic.

You have talents

and gifts

and abilities

that God has given you

and if you'll be

faithful to Him,

you can use

your talents,

gifts,

and abilities

in some great ways

in people's lives

as well as

in serving God.

Now,

in this section,

we're talking about

living like a Christian

in our relationships

specifically

with other Christians.

That means

we're talking about

how we should love

one another

in this church

as brothers and sisters

in Christ.

We're talking about

how you should love,

we should love

other Christians

in our lives

and a lot of you

work with other Christians.

A lot of you

go to school

with people

who are truly Christians.

Some of you

do things

on the weekends,

just interact

with people

in this area,

other places

who are Christians.

We're talking about

the love that exists

among believers

wherever

and get this,

in your home,

if your spouse

is a Christian,

if your children are,

this is how

it's supposed to be

in the way

you relate,

act,

speak

to one another

at home.

Now,

when we read

these verses,

I don't know

if it really

stood out to you

this is all

describing

genuine love.

Verse 9,

the first part,

let love be genuine,

that's sort of

like the statement

and the rest

of this

is a description

of what

genuine

or sincere

love is.

It makes sense

if you think

this is the Apostle

Paul writing

and in 1 Corinthians

1 Corinthians 12 · chapter mention

chapter 12

he gave this

long list

of instructions

about spiritual

gifts

gifts.

And then he

followed it up

in 1 Corinthians

13 by talking

about what love

is.

Here in Romans

12 we have

a condensed

version,

verses 3-8

of him talking

about spiritual

gifts

and now in

verses 9-13

a condensed

version of what

he says in 1

Corinthians 13

about love.

Let's look at it.

If we're serious

about pleasing

God by living

like a Christian

then we've got

to love each

other genuinely.

Look at verse 9,

that's the statement.

Let love be

genuine.

The word

genuine here

means without

hypocrisy.

The word was

often used

in that day

to describe

an actor

on a stage,

somebody who

was playing

a role,

somebody who

would hide

behind a mask

that they held

up.

Well Christian

love is the

opposite of that.

Christian love

is supposed

to be sincere.

It's supposed

to be real.

It's not supposed

to be phony.

How much

of our lives

are truly

real?

Think about it.

We are good

at playing a part

when it comes

to projecting

the image

we want people

to see

in us.

You think

about it.

There's people

in this room,

you play

one part

at work.

You play

another part

that's different

at home.

And you may

even play

a third part

here at church.

Or

if you're

younger,

you may do

it that way

at school

at home

at church.

church.

Most of us

in this room

we're southerners.

Most of us

in this room

we are southern

born and southern

bred.

When we die

we'll be southern

dead.

We know that.

That's just

who we are.

Now everybody

here didn't

have the

advantage of

being born

in the south.

But I'm

going to guess

you got here

as quick as

you could.

So you're

here now.

You know

some of the

things I'm

about to

say.

We who

are southerners

we know

how.

We know

how to

fake things.

You know

as southerners

we pride

ourselves on

a lot of

things.

We think

at least

about all

the many

positive

qualities

that we

have.

But being

genuine

is not

really a

strong

suit.

We've

learned how

to be

nice

from an

early age.

How many

of you

have ever

said this

or done

this or

had it

said to

you?

You talk

to someone

on the

telephone

or you

talk to

them in

person

and as

you get

ready to

end the

conversation

before you

say goodbye

before they

say goodbye

one of the

last things

they'll say

is come

to see us.

How many

of you have

heard that

all your

life?

Come to

see us.

They don't

really mean

that.

No.

If I have

a conversation

with,

I'm not

going to

pick on

my,

if I have

a conversation

with,

who could I

pick on

in here this

morning?

I'm not

going to

pick on

Rick this

morning.

Go ahead,

I'll

Rick,

okay?

If I have

a conversation

with Rick

and we get

ready to

wind it down,

he says,

come to see

us,

hang up.

Well,

just out

of the

blue,

out of

the blue,

I show

up ready

just to

come in

and sit

down and

visit for

a while.

He's

going to

be mad.

He's not

going to

appreciate

that.

In this

day and

time,

everybody's

busy.

Everybody

has something

to do.

Nobody's

sitting at

home waiting

for somebody

to come

by just

out of the

blue,

knock on

the door

and say,

I want

to come

in and

visit with

you a little

while.

that's

just not

how life

is today.

But we

say things

trying to

be nice

that we

don't really

mean.

You know,

one of the

worst things

that we do

as Southerners,

one of our

worst sayings,

what is it?

Bless your

heart.

That's

Southern

license to

gossip and

slander,

just say

anything you

want about

someone.

I'll bet

we've got

teachers in

this room

that you

have said

this,

bless his

little heart.

He's the

dumbest child

I've ever

had in my

classes.

Some of

you may

have said,

or some

of you may

have had

one friend

say to

another

friend,

she's got

the ugliest

baby I have

ever seen.

Bless her

heart.

We do

that now.

You know,

I'm going

over the top

with this.

But we

have a

way,

most of

us,

we have a

way of

projecting an

image that

is not

real.

We have a

way of

saying things

that we

really and

truly do

not mean,

and we

have a way

of saying

things that

we do

mean,

that is

mean,

literally.

We try to

camouflage it

in some

way.

Most of

us have

had a

lot of

practice

play

acting

about a

lot of

things,

including

expressing

love.

What Paul

is saying

here is,

be real,

be genuine

in your

love for

the people

around about

you that you

should be the

closest to.

be sincere.

And as I

said earlier,

because the

Spirit of God

lives within

us, we

can.

We can be

real people

and what we

say is what

we mean.

We need to

learn to do

that.

It's something

that we're

commanded to

do.

Let love

be genuine.

But what

will that

look like?

Let's look

now.

Let's look

at what the

rest of these

verses describe.

We must

demonstrate

genuine love

verses 9b

through 13.

First of all,

sincere love

is discerning.

He says,

abhor what is

evil, hold

fast to what

is good, or

hate what is

evil, cling

to what's

good.

Christian love

is not a

sentimental

love.

Christian

love, it's

not the warm

fuzzies.

It requires,

in this case,

looking at what

he's saying

here, it

requires a

violent

hatred of

evil,

and a

strong

attachment

to what's

good.

Some

Christians

think that

love means

you're just

always nice.

Everything's

always okay.

You never

respond negatively

to any

behavior.

Some people

have the

idea, if

you're a

Christian and

you love

people, hate

won't even be

a part of

your vocabulary.

Well, that's

not true.

We're supposed

to hate

evil and

cling fast

to, hold

strongly to

that which

is good.

Our problem

is, a lot

of people,

including

Christians,

define right

and wrong

by their

own standard

of what's

right and

wrong, or

by their

own standard

of what's

loving.

Think of

it this way.

A lot of

people think

sex outside

of marriage

cannot possibly

be wrong.

We

rationalize.

if it

takes place

in the

context of

a loving

relationship.

That's how

many people

justify

premarital

sex.

We love

one another,

or even

adultery,

or

homosexuality.

It just

seems like,

and it is in

today's world,

today's culture,

the idea is

you do what

feels good

to you.

You define

all your

terms.

You define

truth,

you define

love,

and you do

what you

think is the

loving thing

to do.

Here's the

problems.

Christians

don't get to

do that.

God does

that for us,

and He's

done that in

His Word.

God defines

for us what

is right and

wrong, what

is evil and

what is good.

He defines

for us what

love is as

we're reading

here and also

in 1 Corinthians

13.

That's just a

more lengthy

example.

God has

established real

standards,

objective

standards of

what evil and

good behavior

is in His

Word.

So whatever

God calls

evil, whatever

God calls

sin, it is

evil.

It is sin.

And we

should hate

it.

we should

hate strongly

that which

is truly

evil.

Do you?

But whatever

God says is

right, whatever

God says is

good, that

is what's

right and

good.

And that's

what we should

cling to, hold

close fast to.

Do you?

Let me make a

clarification here.

This is not

teaching that we

are to hate

evil people.

We'll see later

on in our

studies on down

past verse 14,

we're called to

love our enemies.

But we're to

hate evil.

As the old saying

goes, we love

the sinner but

hate the sin.

Sincere love

is discerning.

Sincere love

is also devoted

to others.

Look at verse

10.

Love one

another with

brotherly affection.

Outdo one

another in

showing honor.

The first

command in

this verse

10 is love

one another with

brotherly love.

our relationships

with other

Christians is

supposed to be

as close as

relationships with

our biological

brothers and

sisters on our

good days.

You know,

brothers and

sisters are known

to fight like

cats and dogs.

Brothers and

sisters are known

to hurt one

another.

But on their

best days,

brothers and

sisters will

defend one

another and

hurt the person

that tries to

hurt their

brother and

sister.

Paul is saying

that as

Christians,

we're a part

of God's

family.

There is a

spiritual family

that we're a

part of that

should be as

close as

brothers and

sisters under

the ideal

brother-sister

relationship.

The second

command here is

that we should

outdo one

another in

showing honor.

The idea is

that you respect

others first.

You're not

going to do

this if you

don't respect

them and put

them first.

The idea is

sincere love

seeks the best

for the one

you love,

not yourself.

The best

example I've

ever heard in

just people

living and

doing came

from children.

Lisa teaches

music at an

elementary school.

One year,

several years

ago now,

a brother and

sister both

tried out for

honors choir.

The sister

made it.

The brother

did not.

When Lisa

explained to

the brother,

your sister

made honors

choir and

you didn't,

you know

what he said?

He said,

well, if only

one of us

could make it,

I'm glad it

was my sister.

And he

meant it.

He loved his

sister.

And he

was happy

for her

to get

that honor

above

himself.

And he

was genuine.

It was the

real deal.

Sincere love

is devoted

to others.

Sincere love

provides us

with positive

energy.

In verses

11 and 12,

look at it.

Do not be

slothful in

zeal,

but fervent in

spirit.

Serve the Lord,

rejoice in

hope,

be patient in

tribulation,

be constant in

prayer.

Let's look at

this quickly

here.

Love is

enthusiastic.

Another way

that can be

translated is

love is not

lazy or

indifferent when

it comes to

service.

Serving God

and serving

other people

is what it's

talking about

here.

Sincere love

will cause us

to want to

do our best

in fulfilling

our responsibilities

to other

people.

We won't be

lazy or half-hearted

about it.

And you know

what I'm

talking about.

There are

things that you

do in life

that you

love,

you thoroughly

enjoy,

but it's

hard.

It's a labor

of love.

It may be

your job,

it may be

a hobby,

it may be

something fun

you just do

with your

friends or

your children

or someone.

You work

at it,

you sweat

at it,

you get

worn out,

but you

love it.

It's a labor

of love,

you're not

lazy in it.

And what

Paul is saying

here is we

have the right

kind of love

for one another

when we've

got to get

in there

and roll

up our

sleeves

and do

some things

to meet

one another's

needs,

we'll do

it enthusiastically.

We won't

do it

begrudgingly,

that's not

love.

We won't

be lazy

in doing

it.

Love is

patient.

It enables

us to

persevere

and not

give up

in hard

times.

Everybody

has hard

times.

Life is

not simple

for anyone.

Most people

thankfully,

it sort

of comes

and goes.

There's

people in

this room

right now,

right now

life is

great for

you.

You

couldn't

ask for

things to

be better.

There's

people in

this room

that life

is very

hard right

now.

It's the

hardest you've

ever gone

through.

Love is

patient in

that it

will help

us sometimes

just to

take one

more step.

It'll

help us

to continue

on.

And let's

think especially

in difficulties

with certain

people.

Love will

help us to

be patient,

to work

with them,

to build

bridges,

not to

burn them.

Love motivates

us to pray.

If we truly

believe that God

answers prayer

and we love

people,

doesn't it make

sense that we

ought to want

to pray for

them?

Let's just

be real

honest.

There's

people in

your life,

you just

love to tell

them what

you really

think.

There's

people in

your life

that you

don't like,

you don't

like what

they're doing,

they irritate

you, and

if you could

just get by

with it, if

it could be

Groundhog Day,

remember the

movie?

You could just

do whatever

you wanted to

do, say

whatever you

wanted to

say, and

tomorrow they

wouldn't

remember.

You just

love to

explode on

them, just

tell them what

you think.

We can't

do that.

Groundhog Day

in the movie

was fiction.

We have to

love some

people that

God has in

our life

that's hard

to love, and

everybody has

them.

You know, as

the saying goes,

if you don't

know who they

are, you're

probably it in

your family or

your circle.

And so what

we've got to

learn to do

is love these

people, and

one of the

best ways to

learn to do

that is to

pray for

them.

Pray for

yourself.

God, help

me to be

patient.

Help me to

actually meet

this person's

need in a

genuine,

sincere, kind

way.

And then pray

for that

person.

Pray that God

would work in

the situation to

meet the need,

even to use

you.

That goes on

to verse 13.

Sincere love

meets people's

needs.

He says,

contribute to

the needs of

the saints,

and show

hospitality.

We're supposed

to share with

people as they

have need.

What do we

share?

Whatever it is

that they need

that you can

meet the need

with.

I want you to

look at a

passage of

scripture quickly

from 1 John

3.

It's on the

screen.

This is written

to Christians.

This applies to

all of us.

If anyone has

material possessions

and sees his

brother in need,

but has no

pity on him,

how can the

love of God

be in him?

Dear children,

let us love

not with words

or tongue,

but with actions

and in truth.

Sometimes love

is going to

compel us to

take out our

billfold,

checkbook,

debit card,

and meet a

person's need.

Sometimes love

is going to

compel us to

be inconvenienced

to even sacrifice

to meet a

brother or

sister in

Christ.

Not just a

physical brother

or sister,

but a brother

or sister in

Christ's need.

Showing

hospitalities.

The next one,

that was of

great importance

in the early

church.

It was not

always possible

that there was a

place like a

hotel.

There weren't

that many

inns.

And a lot of

times if there

were, there

were shady,

sleazy places

that you wouldn't

want someone

coming in.

And so, in

the early

church, Christians

who travel like,

for example,

the Apostle

Paul, if he

came to the

church at Rome,

if he came to

Pickens, he

would expect for

a Christian

family to open

their home to

him.

Him being a

stranger to them

on one hand,

but he, they

would have heard

about him.

It wasn't just a

total stranger,

they would have

heard about him.

They, he may

even have some

letters of

recommendation from

another church

or some other

Christians that

they knew of.

And so they

would take him

in.

How that might

apply today is

sometimes we have

had some youth

conferences here.

And we've brought

in some, maybe

college students

from North

Greenville or

Liberty University

or somewhere like

that.

And they're coming

in for a weekend

and we need

families in our

church to house

these people.

That is the kind

of Christian

hospitality we're

talking about.

You don't know

them, but you do

know of them.

We're not talking

about total stranger.

They're Christians.

And so you open

your home to

these kinds of

strangers.

We talked about

several years ago

as a church

family, partnering

with a church

that on the coast

of South Carolina,

that if they had

a hurricane and

they had to

evacuate, we

talked about

enlisting church

members to open

our homes to a

couple or a

family from a

church, say in the

Charleston area, that

had to leave because

of the hurricane.

That would be

Christian hospitality

as an example.

Paul makes it

clear, sincere

love is a whole

lot more than a

feeling.

It's an attitude

that we display in

our actions.

So I just want to

ask you, in light of

what we've seen

here, are you

demonstrating sincere

love to your

brothers and sisters

in Christ in

particular?

The next question

is, do you want

to?

Is there

something within

you, the Spirit

of God, that

causes you to see

this is what's

right and this is

what I want to do?

Some of you may

say, certainly I

don't do it

perfectly, but this

is my goal.

So you might need

to ask God this

morning to help

you to continue

on to grow in

some of these

areas.

Whatever it is

that God's shown

you, your

response, what it

needs to be, ask

God to help you

right now to

desire and

demonstrate this

kind of sincere

love every day

in all these

relationships we're

talking about,

even the hard

ones.

And ask God to

help you right

now to do

whatever it is to

make the commitment

to start now.

Let's pray.

Dear God, help

us to see that

love is not an

option if we are

your children.

And help us to

see, dear God, that

we cannot be

selective about how

we love and who

we love.

So show us right

now, dear God,

what we need to

do about maybe a

changed attitude,

changed priorities,

what we need to

do about confession

of sin, that

would enable us to

leave here ready

to start demonstrating

sincere love.

Father, if there's

anyone in this room

who is not your

child, help them

to understand this

morning how much

you love them.

You love them so

much you sent your

son into this world,

the Lord Jesus,

to die and pay the

penalty for their

sins.

Help them, dear God,

right now to see

their need, give them

the desire to turn

from their sin and to

trust in Jesus and

call upon Him to save

them right now.

You just listen to the

Lord with the heads

bowed and eyes closed

and respond to Him.

If I could help you

during this time, I'll

be here in front to

pray with you.

also

a

you

B

.

.