Learning to Show Restraint

Have you ever heard someone use the phrase,

I don't get mad, I just get even?

Now normally, if you hear somebody say that,

they're just joking, right?

Because I've said that to some of you.

Some of you have got the best of me

with some kind of smart-aleck comment

or some kind of practical joke.

I've just looked at you and told you,

I don't get mad, I get even.

Sometimes I try to get ahead even.

If we say those things to someone,

everybody knows you're just, you know, having fun, going on.

But there's many people in this world,

they may not say that, but they think that,

and they do that.

There are many people that the slightest offense

they're going to get revenge.

They're going to plot some way to retaliate

because they don't take anything off anyone.

Now I don't think many of us in this room,

at least lately,

have actually tried to do bodily harm to someone

out of revenge.

but I wonder,

have any of us,

by what we said,

tried to retaliate

or get revenge,

by what we said to them

or about them,

that was designed

to pay them back.

You know,

Jesus knew that

we all have a tendency

to be overly concerned

with my rights.

Jesus knew that

we could be easily offended

and want to pay people back.

So He addressed this issue

in the Sermon on the Mount,

Matthew chapter 5,

Matthew 5 · chapter mention

beginning in verse 38.

I want you to turn with me this morning.

This is actually a follow-up message

from what we saw two weeks ago

in Romans chapter 12.

Romans 12 · chapter mention

Now if you were not here last week,

I wasn't here last week.

Jeff preached last week.

Somebody told me in the early service

that he did a real good job.

And I said,

well, I'm going to get the tape

and listen to it.

They said,

well, it wasn't that good.

Don't worry about it.

Nah, nah.

I'm going to get it.

I'm going to listen to it.

But two weeks ago,

last time I was here,

we looked at Romans chapter 12,

Romans 12:17–21

verses 17 through 21.

And what we read,

what we looked at,

it's just hard to do.

And so we need to come back this morning

and see that what we read last week

from Paul's letter

actually came from the teaching of Jesus.

So let's read what we saw last week

just to refresh our memories.

We're two weeks ago.

Romans 12, verses 17 through 21.

Romans 12:17–21

Look at it.

It'll be on the screen.

Repay no one evil for evil,

but give thought to do what is honorable or right

in the sight of all.

If possible,

so far as it depends on you,

live peaceably with all.

Beloved,

never avenge yourselves,

but leave it to the wrath of God.

For it is written,

vengeance is mine,

I will repay,

says the Lord.

To the contrary,

if your enemy is hungry,

feed him.

If he is thirsty,

give him something to drink.

For by doing so,

you will heap burning coals on his head.

Do not be overcome by evil,

but overcome evil with good.

What Paul wrote

is based on what Jesus taught

about revenge and retaliation

in Matthew 5,

beginning in verse 38 through verse 42.

And what Jesus said

on further in chapter 5 of Matthew,

verses 43 through 48.

We're going to look at what Jesus said

about seeking revenge

and not retaliating this morning.

Next week,

we're going to look at how God allows us

at times to seek justice

for ourselves,

to protect our family,

to even protect ourselves

through in lawful ways,

through law enforcement,

government-ordained law enforcement.

We're going to even look at the subject next week

of self-defense

and concealed weapons permits.

We're going to look at

a Christian perspective on that.

Now, for some of you who know me,

a lot of you who know me,

I want you to understand.

We are not next week

going to come

and find all kinds of reasons

why we ought to be armed to the teeth

and find justification

to just not take anything off anyone.

That is not what we're going to do.

In fact,

the reason we're looking at

what we're looking at today,

two reasons.

What we're looking at today

is really helping us to understand

what we saw two weeks ago,

that the Lord Jesus Himself taught us

do not have this mentality of

I don't take anything off anyone.

I'm going to always get even.

That's totally wrong.

We're going to come back in two weeks

and look at Matthew chapter 5,

Matthew 5:43

verses 43 through the end of the chapter

where Jesus talks about loving your enemies.

You hear what I'm saying?

Loving your enemies in two weeks.

Don't retaliate.

Don't have this vengeful mindset today.

But Christians can protect themselves.

That's what we'll look at next week.

We'll take it all together

to get a true understanding

of what the Bible teaches

about how we live in this world

and act and interact

with people who don't like us,

with people who might even want to hurt us,

with people who are just plain evil, period,

and people who just want to persecute us

because we're Christians.

They're not always the same group,

not always the same person.

So, a big subject

that was introduced two weeks ago

that we just read from Romans 12.

Keep that in mind.

Let's look now

at what Jesus says in Matthew 5, verse 38

Matthew 5:38

in talking about revenge and retaliation.

Verse 38.

You have heard that it was said,

an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.

But I say to you,

do not resist the one who is evil.

If anyone slaps you on the right cheek,

turn to him the other also.

And if anyone would sue you

and take your tunic,

let him have your cloak as well.

And if anyone forces you to go one mile,

go with him two miles.

Give to the one who begs from you

and do not refuse the one

who would borrow from you.

Jesus is talking about

doing some hard things here.

He's talking about

there are times

when we need to give up our rights.

There's times when we just

need to take an insult.

Not try to pay someone back.

Not try to do to people

what they do to us.

Jesus is calling us,

his followers,

to live

according to a higher standard

than people who are not Christians.

The idea is

we are to treat people better

than they treat us.

We are to learn to trust God

to take care of us.

But as we're going to see next week,

the way God may take care of us

is through law enforcement,

is through some form of self-defense,

through the carrying

or even use of a weapon.

But for now,

the focus is on

we need to learn

to exercise restraint.

We are not prepared

as Christians

to talk about

defending ourselves

until we first understand

the importance

of exercising restraint.

So let's look.

Number one,

the law of God

has always required

his people

to show restraint.

Look in verse 38.

You have heard

that it was said,

an eye for an eye

and a tooth for a tooth.

Jesus is referring

to a famous law

in verse 38 there.

The law of retaliation

or the law of retribution

it's called.

The Latin phrase

lex talionis

is found

in Exodus chapter 21,

Exodus 21 · chapter mention

Leviticus chapter 24,

Leviticus 24 · chapter mention

and Deuteronomy chapter 19.

Deuteronomy 19 · chapter mention

Two things

need to be understood

about this law

of retribution.

Number one,

it is prescriptive.

It describes

punishment

or retaliation

when offended.

It prescribes

what a person

can do

and in so doing

what you cannot do.

Number two,

it is also

restrictive.

It restricts

or limits

the punishment

or the retaliation.

This law

is intended

to prohibit

severe

or over punishment.

In the ancient world,

it would prevent

a family feud

perhaps

or even a war

between tribes

or clans.

For an example,

say John

gets in a fight

with your brother

and in the fight

he breaks

your brother's arm.

in the ancient world

what that was saying

is

you can retaliate

but if you

retaliate

against John,

against

John's family,

all you can do

is break

his arm.

You can't hurt

him

more.

You can't take it

out on his

family.

That was designed

to help

the situation.

It was not designed

to teach us

tit for tat.

It was never designed

to say,

alright,

somebody did this

to you,

now you go

and do it to them.

It was designed

to teach

if that person

did something

to you,

you've got to

limit

what you do

to them

to something

of an equal

measure.

the law

was given

also

to the Jewish

people as a

nation.

It was to be

enforced

by their

judicial system.

It was not

designed to be

carried out

by individuals.

So we need

to understand

the law

of God

has always

required

his people

to show

restraint.

This is talking

about ancient

people.

Restraint

among God's

people

has always

been the

norm

Let's look

on.

Jesus

responds

to this

get-even

attitude

by giving

us now

four examples

of how

his followers

should deal

with personal

violations.

Look at it

in verses

39 through

42

God's

people

should

demonstrate

loving

restraint.

Before we

get into

that I want

to clarify

something.

Jesus

did not

teach

teach.

Paul did

not teach

in Romans

12 or

anywhere else

that God's

people are

not ever

to punish

evil.

God's people

are not taught

to just let

evil and wrong

and injustice

go.

We're going to

look in detail

at that next

week.

But verse

39 is not

teaching that

Christians can

never defend

themselves or

their family or

be a policeman or

in the military or

use the police or

military.

God has

established laws

and principles

that actually

require us as

people to

oppose evil

and to

see that

evildoers

are

restrained

and punished

and sometimes

that may be

the ultimate

punishment

or exercise

of force

slash

restraint.

I think it's

important that we

look at the

context of what

we're reading this

morning.

We're in

Matthew chapter

Matthew 5 · chapter mention

5.

We're in the

Sermon on the

Mount and in

Matthew chapter

Matthew 5 · chapter mention

5 beginning in

verse 12

rather excuse

me verse 17

Jesus starts

talking about the

Old Testament

law.

He says do

not think I

have come to

abolish the law

or the prophets

I've not come to

abolish them but

to fulfill them.

And then

beginning in

verse 21

he starts in

his teaching

pointing out

some of the

things that the

Old Testament

taught

or some of

the things

that the

people

thought

that the

Old Testament

taught.

And so

Jesus talked

in verse 21

there about

anger.

You have

heard that it

was said to

those of

old you

shall not

murder and

so forth.

Look in

verse 27.

You have

heard that it

was said you

shall not

commit adultery

but I say

to you

that everyone

who looks

to you

who looks

to you

fulfilling the

Old Testament

law.

He is either

showing a

deeper

understanding

of it

or he's

correcting

a misunderstanding

by some of

those Jewish

leaders of the

day who were

leading people

astray.

And so

for an

example

in verse

27

he says

you've heard

that it

said you

shall not

commit adultery

but I say

to you

that everyone

who looks

at a woman

with lustful

intent

has already

committed adultery

with her in his

heart.

Look at the

next verse.

If your right

eye causes you

to sin

tear it out

and throw it

away

for it is

better that you

lose one of

your members

than your whole

body be thrown

into hell.

Same thing

about your hand.

Your hand

causes you to sin

cut it off.

I think

everyone in this

room understands

Jesus is using

hyperbole

intended

exaggeration

to make his

point.

Jesus is trying

to teach

adultery is

more than

just a

physical act.

Before adultery

ever takes

place in a

bed it takes

place in

someone's

mind

in their

thoughts.

And so

he says

it would be

better for you

to gouge

out your

eye

if it's

causing you

to lust

is the

implication.

But is

that what

he really

means?

Every man

in here

knows you

can gouge

out both

eyes you

can still

lust.

It's in

your mind

it's in

your heart

it's not

in your

eye.

Jesus is

using an

exaggerated

statement to

make the

point

lust or

any sin

is so

serious you

need to

take extreme

measures to

make sure you

don't give in

to the

temptation.

You need

to do

whatever is

necessary.

Radical

action

to avoid

sin.

Disobeying

God's

word.

That's what

he's talking

about.

If you

carry that

over through

everything else

he says here

in Matthew

Matthew 5 · chapter mention

chapter 5

he begins

Matthew 5

talks about

the law

verse 17

then in

verse 21

for the rest

of the chapter

he says

you have

heard that

it was

said

but I

say to

you

or something

like that.

When we

get to

what we've

read here

back in

verse 30

now

39

but I

say to

you

do not

resist

the one

who is

evil

that is

not a

blanket

statement

that Christians

are to be

the doormat

for every

evil person

who wants

to do

them harm

in the

world.

You

understand

the rationale

here.

We'll talk

about it

more next

week.

Now

with this

clarification

let's see

how we need

to develop

loving

restraint

in

situations

involving

people who

oppose us

in some

way.

First

verse 39

the last

part.

We need

to show

restraint

when responding

to insult.

Look at

the last

part of

verse 39.

I say

to you

do not

resist

the one

who is

evil

but if

anyone

slaps

you

on the

right

cheek

turn

to him

the other

also.

What

Jesus is

describing

here

to the

first

century

audience

who heard

him

say this

they

understood

he's

talking

about

a

personal

insult.

to be

struck

on the

he's

not

talking

about

being

hit

with a

fist

upside

the

head

Jesus

is

describing

somebody

said

their

right

cheek

somebody

standing

looking

this

way

for me

to hit

that

person

on the

right

cheek

most

people

are

right

handed

to hit

the

person

on the

right

cheek

you

got to

hit

them

with

the

back

of

your

hand

Jesus

is

describing

what

people

in that

day

understood

as a

form

of

insult

by

slapping

someone

in the

face

with

the

back

of

your

hand

it's

not

intended

to

injure

physically

it's

intended

to

injure

psychologically

to make

you

angry

it's

intended

to

insult

us

Jesus

is

describing

here

what

somebody

does

to

just

provoke

you

and

the

point

is

we're

not

to

slap

back

we're

not

to

let

it

bother

us

we're

not

to

retaliate

or try

to

get

even

with

people

who

are

just

trying

to

hurt

us

hurt

our

feelings

insult

us

Winston

Churchill

was

reportedly

good

at

insults

while

prime

minister

he had

a strained

relationship

with

Lady

Astor

neither

one

liked

the

other

it

is

actually

reported

that

on

one

occasion

Churchill

was

drunk

in a

hotel

elevator

with

her

and

it

said

that

with

a

condescending

insult

she

snipped

Sir

Winston

you

are

drunk

he

replied

my

lady

you

are

ugly

and

tomorrow

I

will

be

sober

I

don't

think

Jesus

is

condemning

good

natured

joking

around

but

it's

questionable

how

good

natured

that

was

we

need

to be

careful

that we

don't

get caught

up in

this

always

pay

them

back

get

even

for every

little

thing

that

happens

and you

need

to make

sure

you

don't

teach

your

children

to

always

be

getting

back

always

don't

take

anything

off

any

one

kind

of

attitude

Jesus

tells

us

otherwise

number

two

second

example

Jesus

uses

is about

how we

should

respond

when our

rights

are

violated

verse

40

we need

to show

restraint

when responding

to lawsuits

look at it

and if anyone

would sue

you and take

your tunic

let him have

your cloak

as well

a tunic

was like

a shirt

a cloak

was like

an overcoat

it also

served as a

blanket

at night

the

old

testament

law

required

that any

kind of

dealings

that were

happening

between

two

people

this

cloak

this

overcoat

had to

be returned

to its

owner

before the

sun

set

because

that was

the owner's

only way

to cover

himself

at night

only way

to stay

warm

you can

read about

that in

Exodus

Exodus 22 · chapter mention

chapter

22

Exodus

22

beginning

in verse

26

Jesus

is talking

to you

about

being

sued

for your

shirt

and the

natural

response

would be

you don't

let it

happen

you fight

back

you do

whatever it

takes to

keep it

Jesus is

saying here

don't be so

concerned with

your rights

in fact

go a step

further

if they sue

you for your

shirt

let them have

your coat

they can't

sue you

for that

you are

taking the

initiative

there

now again

understand

this is not

a blanket

statement

Jesus is

not teaching

us that we

should let

every unethical

person

that comes

along

sue us

and take

everything you

have

in fact

you can only

do that

one time

couldn't you

one person

comes

sues you

takes

everything you

have

well you

don't have

anything

else

that's not

what he's

talking about

Jesus is

trying to

make the

point

throughout

this whole

section

that our

rights

our

personal

comfort

must not

be the

consuming

force of

our life

everything

can't be

about me

and mine

that's not

the idea

that's not

the mentality

of a follower

of Jesus

he's telling

us

we can see

that a little

bit clearer

in the next

example

look at

verse 41

we need to

show restraint

when responding

to oppression

he says in

verse 41

and if anyone

forces you to

go one mile

go with him

two miles

in those days

a Roman soldier

could require

a citizen

to make him

carry his

backpack

for one mile

and then

that was it

you couldn't

require

the second

mile

Jesus says

when that

happens

don't just

go one

mile

go

two

don't just

do the

minimum

do

more

Jesus is

saying

let's try

to apply

this

at your

work

are you

known as

someone

who only

does the

minimum

in order to

keep your

job

are you

always the

last one

to get

there

and always

the first

one

to leave

do you

always

insist

on

taking

your

break

or lunch

at the

exact minute

that it's

scheduled

even if it

inconveniences

your co-workers

who are doing

something with you

let me give you an

example

many years ago

Lisa worked with a lady

they worked

together

and when break time

came

let's say it was

10 a.m.

no matter what was

going on

no matter how urgent

it was

no matter how many

other people were

involved

when break time

came this person

stopped and went on

break

same thing about

lunch

this person was only

concerned about

themselves

this person didn't

care about their

work

didn't care about

their co-workers

that's what Jesus

is talking about

here

does your

employer

do your

co-workers

see

that you as a

Christian

member of this

church or some

other church

that they see

that

by just observing

you at work

that you really do

care about your

job

and you are

willing to go

the second mile

in order to do

a good job

and let's just

think for a moment

we're supposed to

do everything we do

as a Christian

for the glory of

God

Paul even says

in the book of

Colossians in third

chapter that we're

supposed to do

our work as

employees as if

we're doing it for

the Lord himself

the people that you

work with or the

person you work for

they see that you

as a Christian

you really do care

about the people

that you work for

or the people

that you work with

and you are

willing to go the

extra mile

for them

you know

such acts of

self-giving

that'll get people's

attention on it

that is a great way

to witness in the

first century

and today for us

too

Jesus provides us

with one more

example of how we

should respond when

our rights are

violated

look at verse 42

we need to show

restraint

when responding

to the needy

look at it

give to the one

who begs from you

and do not refuse

the one who would

borrow from you

the attitude here is

we need to be

willing to give

even sacrifice

to help people

who are truly

in need

the idea

Jesus is talking

about here is

we can't be just

selfish

self-centered people

and we're just

concerned about

ourselves and our

stuff

we can't be

hoarders

this would also

mean that

we've got

Jesus is concerned

that we as

Christians

we don't fail

to notice

people around us

who have

legitimate needs

that we could

meet

if we noticed

them

and cared

enough about

them

to want to

help them

now

this shouldn't

need to be said

but I'm going to

say it

this is obviously

not a call

to give away

everything that

you have

you can do that

one time

and we know

we've studied it

on other occasions

scripture in

multiple places

Old and New

Testament

teaches us

don't give to

people

who are in

need because

they brought it

on themselves

because they're

just lazy

or they won't

work

or they won't

practice sound

financial money

management principles

the idea here

is

help people

who are in

need

because we

really do

love people

because we

care

by the way

it is not an

act of love

to reward

laziness

it's not an

act of love

on a

governmental

level

on a church

level

or a family

level

to reward

laziness

you know

where I'm

going next

parents

don't hand

your children

everything

just because

they're your

children

don't enable

them to be

lazy

to be

bum like

to expect

everything

to be just

given to

them

just because

they're your

children

teach them

the word

no

teach them

the phrase

we can't

afford it

teach them

you can't

afford it

but then

teach them

how to

work

how to

save

how to

manage

their money

so that

they have

resources

so that

they

understand

the difference

between

working

and having

something

saving

and having

something

the Bible

nowhere

teaches

us

to help

people

who

refuse

to help

themselves

because they

just won't

manage their

money

they won't

work

or things

of this

nature

but don't

remember

that part

is the main

part of this

sermon

I know

see I can

be real

jaded

I'll be honest

with you

I can be

real jaded

about bums

who do

not want

to work

do not

want to

save

do not

want to

take care

of themselves

in any way

and expect

the handout

I have no

patience

with that

but I can

be so

jaded

that I don't

want to

help people

who are in

real need

and that's

wrong

that's

sinful

so don't

go away

from here

today

saying

yep

it's

right

you don't

help

those who

don't

work

forget

that

you know

that

what we

all need

just about

all of us

need to

remember

as we

leave here

today

is

open our

eyes

there's

people

around

us

they're

struggling

and they

can't

help it

they've

not had

the

opportunities

we've

had

they've

not

had

the

training

the

parents

the

help

we've

had

they

don't

have

the

mind

that

we

have

they

don't

have

the

skills

or

ability

to

do

the

job

that

we

have

there's

some

people

are

just

in

need

and

it's

always

been

this

way

since

the

foundation

of

the

world

just

about

and

there's

much

in the

Old

and New

Testament

about

Christians

noticing

and helping

the truly

poor

needy

it's

our

responsibility

and most

of us

we need

to

be better

at fulfilling

this

responsibility

this passage

does not

prevent us

from ever

taking a

stand for

our rights

at times

it is not

it's not

telling us

you can

never stand

up for

the rights

of others

as we'll

see next

week

let's

don't

make any

mistake

Jesus

is calling

us to

make some

difficult

choices

that will

require us

to change

some

attitudes

maybe

some

parts of

our

lifestyle

but the

fact is

we can't

do this

on our

own

we've

been in

a series

on Romans

Romans 12 · chapter mention

chapter 12

where we've

looked at

what Paul

was writing

about how

we ought to

live in

this world

as Christians

in relationship

to other

people

and a lot

of that

stuff is

just plain

hard to

do

in fact

we can't

do it

on our

own

but if

we're

Christians

as I've

said just

about every

week

the spirit

of God

lives within

us

and the spirit

of God

living within

us

will enable

us

to live

like a

Christian

even in

these hard

ways

if we

want to

and we're

willing to

make the

decisions

and choices

to actually

live it out

there's three

keys to live

this kind of

life

number one

we've got to

trust God

we've got to

learn to

trust God

depend upon

him

depend upon

him to

make some

wrongs

right

number two

we've got

to love

people

we've got

to love

even

evil

people

people who

are out

to get

us

remember how

Jesus

prayed

as he was

being nailed

to the cross

father forgive

them for they

do not know

what they're

doing

you think

well that's

Jesus I

can't do

that

nobody

can do

that

well they

can

read in

the book

of Acts

Acts 7 · chapter mention

chapter 7

chapter 7

and 8

talking about

Stephen

he was

actually

literally

stoned

to death