The Danger of Anger

Have you been angry this week?

Some people would say it's a normal week, wasn't it?

Why were you angry?

Was it justified?

Was it righteous anger?

Or, would you have to say, mine was not justified?

Or even if it was the way I expressed it.

Was not right.

Now, all anger is not sinful.

There's some things we should be angry about.

There's things that makes God angry.

As you can read in the scripture.

Jesus expressed righteous anger on more than one occasion.

One of the most well known is when he cleansed the temple.

Because people had failed to honor it as the house of God.

And the place of prayer that it was supposed to be.

So, Jesus sets an example.

Anger is a normal human emotion.

It can be good.

It can be justified.

But we've got to be very careful the way that we express it.

But I know that most of us in this room, if we're honest,

most of our anger is not righteous anger.

Most anger that we see,

most anger that we express,

is sinful anger.

And we really can't, before God, justify it.

Jerry Bridges says that the three top causes of sinful anger

are pride, selfishness, and the desire to control.

Now, those are broad headings.

A lot of things could fall under that.

But pride, selfishness, and a desire to control.

Doesn't that describe a lot of the reasons why

you lose it, blow up?

Bridges goes on to describe sinful anger

as a universal problem.

Look at it.

No one is isolated from its presence

or immune from its poison.

It permeates each person

and spoils our most intimate relationships.

Anger is a given part of our fallen human fabric.

Sadly, it is true even in our Christian homes and churches.

Anger is often directed toward those

we should love most.

Our spouse, children, parents,

or siblings in our human families,

and those who are our brothers and sisters in Christ

in our church families.

What he says there at the top of that paragraph,

that's painfully true, isn't it?

Our anger is most often directed

toward those we should love the most.

And we're going to see in Jonah chapter 4 this morning,

Jonah 4 · chapter mention

Jonah's anger was directed at the one

he should have loved more than anyone or anything.

God.

Today, we're going to focus on the danger of anger

as seen in Jonah's anger toward God.

Read with me if you would.

We're going to be in Jonah chapter 4,

Jonah 4 · chapter mention

beginning in verse 1.

Just look at four verses today.

If you weren't here last week

and you aren't familiar with the story,

what happens leading up to chapter 4, verse 1,

Jonah preached a message of judgment,

condemnation to the people of Israel

and warned them in 40 days,

God's judgment's going to fall.

Well, they believed it.

They believed God.

And they truly repented of their sin

and God relented.

God said, no, I'm not going to destroy them

because they've turned from their sin.

Here's how Jonah responds.

But it displeased Jonah exceedingly.

And he was angry.

And he prayed to the Lord and said,

O Lord, is not this what I said

when I was yet in my country?

That is why I made haste to flee to Tarshish.

For I knew that you are a gracious God

and merciful, slow to anger

and abounding in steadfast love

and relenting from disaster.

Therefore now, O Lord,

please take my life from me.

For it is better for me to die than to live.

And the Lord said,

do you do well to be angry?

The danger of anger.

Why is anger dangerous?

We see in verse 1,

anger sometimes leads us to find fault with God.

That's what's happening here.

Look at that verse again.

But it displeased Jonah exceedingly,

and he was angry.

NIV says, but to Jonah,

this seemed very wrong.

He became angry.

That word anger there is talking about burning with anger,

seething with anger.

Old Testament commentator Joyce Baldwin

explains the intensity of Jonah's displeasure and anger.

Look at it.

The very strong expression indicates

that Jonah's anger welled up from the depths of his being,

like a child throwing a temper tantrum.

Such anger is totally irrational,

and yet it must have an explanation.

Jonah's anger does have an explanation.

He is angry because God was gracious and merciful

to the people of Nineveh

and decided to not destroy them

after they had demonstrated repentance.

That's what we looked at last week in chapter 3.

Now in chapter 4,

I want you to think about it.

Jonah is angry because God did not destroy,

wipe out an entire city of people,

men, women, and children.

Now why did Jonah think like this?

Why did he want all these people to die?

Why did he want God's judgment to fall?

Well, the book of Jonah does not give us one specific reason,

but we can identify a few things

based on what we've already seen in Jonah,

based on what we know about Israel,

where he is from,

and Assyria.

Nineveh is located.

It's a major city in Assyria.

I want to use Jerry Bridges' causes of anger

to see how Jonah's anger,

what caused it, what it was.

Number one, Jonah's anger was prideful.

Jonah had the wrong kind of national pride.

You see, Jonah had the idea,

God's grace, God's mercy,

it's for the people of Israel.

It's for his chosen people only.

He thought because he was a Jew,

one of God's chosen ones,

part of that nation,

that made him special in God's eyes.

And it was people like Jonah

who could expect God to be merciful and gracious,

not those other people.

It wasn't that Jonah thought he was perfect,

it's that Jonah just thought,

I'm not like these pagan people.

I'm a sinner, but not that kind of sinner.

He was prideful.

He had the wrong kind of national pride.

We can do that as well.

Jonah was also selfish.

If you know the story,

Jonah had experienced God's grace and mercy

after he had intentionally disobeyed God,

tried to get away from God,

refused to answer God's call

to go and preach to this people.

Well, God pursued Jonah,

didn't kill him,

but saved him from death,

saved him from death by drowning.

And in Jonah chapter two,

he writes a psalm of thanks,

praising God.

So Jonah, he understands God's mercy.

He has received God's mercy,

but he didn't want these people.

He didn't want them to have anything like it.

Jonah was like the man in Jesus' parable

in Matthew 18.

I want to encourage you to read that sometime.

A lot of times it's called the parable

of the unmerciful servant.

There was a guy, a servant,

who owed a tremendous debt to a king.

It was like a multimillion dollar debt,

something he would never be able to pay.

Well, the king in the story,

just out of mercy,

chose to forgive the debt.

Just wipe the slate clean.

You can imagine how thankful he was.

What if tomorrow you got a call from the bank

and they say your house,

what you owe in your house,

has been wiped clean.

That'd be something to be excited about, wouldn't it?

Just forgiven.

Well, this guy took God's forgiveness,

the king's forgiveness,

went out and found someone

who just owed him a little bit.

Something that the man could have repaid,

but this man was such a selfish,

whatever he was.

I can't imagine the mentality.

He demanded he get paid those few dollars now,

or he was going to have the man put in prison

for not paying his debts.

The man couldn't pay,

and so he had him put in prison.

So heartless,

so just a short memory, didn't he?

Jesus tells the parable

to let us see

what it's like for us,

what it looks like to God

for us to be selfish

when he forgives us such a great debt.

We ought to be willing to forgive others.

When we experience God's mercy,

we ought to be willing to show mercy to others.

But there's another thing

that Jonah demonstrates

that I want to spend a little time on.

This is the real focus.

Jonah's problem was

he had a desire to control,

and what he wanted to control was God.

Jonah wanted to control

when God was gracious

and when God demanded justice.

Now, let's be fair to Jonah

and look at it from his perspective.

Jonah's thinking is really not irrational.

Jonah knew that the people of Nineveh,

Assyrians,

they were notoriously brutal, cruel.

They were truly,

from all historical accounts,

they were evil people

that if anybody deserved to be annihilated,

they did.

Plus,

they were the enemy of Israel.

They were not only such ruthless people,

but in time,

the way things were headed,

they were going to destroy

God's chosen people,

the northern kingdom of Israel.

And so,

from Jonah's perspective,

because of who they were

and how evil they were,

and the fact that they were

the enemies of God's chosen people,

he thought God ought to kill them.

Every one of them.

They deserved it.

That would be justice.

Jonah could not just,

he just kind of,

could not imagine

how God could allow such

evil and violence

to go unpunished.

Now, think about it.

Jonah was angry

because God had not met

his expectations

of justice.

Jonah had these certain expectations

about justice.

He shouldn't receive justice.

He ran from God.

He disobeyed God.

He shook his fist in God's face

in effect in chapter one,

but God was merciful to him.

That was okay.

But these other people,

they better get justice.

And when they didn't,

when they got grace instead,

Jonah is angry.

Now, I want you to think,

isn't that a part of our

sinful anger?

God doesn't meet

our expectations

of justice

or fairness.

Do you ever think

that God has not been

just or fair

by not giving you

a better job,

a better house,

a better spouse?

You ever think

God has not been

fair to you

because you know

people who are

more talented than you?

You know people

who are better

at music than you.

You know people

who are better athletes

than you.

They don't work

as hard as you.

They're just better.

They have more.

They can do it

better than you.

Sometimes,

don't we think

that God has just

been totally unfair

unfair

in giving this

better thing,

this

better situation

to someone

that,

at least from our

perspective,

they don't deserve it.

They don't deserve it,

but we do.

Whenever we think

like this,

we need to understand

that we're angry

at God

for being God,

for being in control,

for choosing

to do what He does.

When we think

like this,

we're really being

angry at God

because we don't

like the way

He's running

the world.

We don't like

the way He's running

our lives.

We think

we could do it

better.

Sometimes,

we're angry

because we can't

control God.

We can't control

what God's

will is

for us

and maybe

some people

around us.

The question

I want us

to think about

is this.

Do you really

want to live

life this way?

None of us

would say this,

but there may be

some anger

and frustration

in you right now

because you feel

like you've not

been treated

fairly by

this person

or that group

or in that

situation

and you look

around and you

see people

who have gotten

more than they

should

and the truth

is they've been

treated

graciously.

Bottom line,

you're angry

at God

at His sovereignty,

at the fact

that He's in

control

and He's doing

that.

He's allowing

that.

I don't want

to go through

life that way

and just become

more angry

and bitter

and I certainly

don't want to

stand before God

on Judgment

Day with that

attitude.

You really

and truly want

to go through

life being

angry and

displeased

like Jonah,

being frustrated

because you

can't control

God.

life will be

just much

better,

much more

relaxed

if we'll

accept the

fact that

God is not

only in

control but

He is working

everything out

according to

His good

plan because

He is a

good God.

That doesn't

just include the

world around

about us,

that includes

our individual

lives.

You know,

all of us

could benefit

from beginning

each day with

a prayer like

this,

Lord,

help me to

know and do

Your will

and trust

that You're

always the

best way

for me and

my family.

Think about it.

What would

life be like

if we could

begin each day

and just think

about it all

through the day?

Talking to

God,

Lord,

help me to

truly desire

to know Your

will,

to do it,

and trust that

it is the

best possible

way for me

in my job,

on my team,

in my home,

because Your

will is always,

as the Scripture

says,

good and

acceptable and

perfect.

Well,

Jonah shows us

another way or

another reason

why we should

understand that

anger is

dangerous.

Anger often

leads us to

justify our

sinful behavior.

Look at

verse 2 again.

Jonah is

really now

telling God

not only why

he's angry,

but why he

did what he

did at the

beginning of

the story.

And he

prayed to the

Lord and

said,

verse 2,

O Lord,

is not this

what I said

when I was

yet in my

country?

That is why

I made haste

to flee to

Tarshish.

For I knew

that You are

a gracious God

and merciful,

slow to anger,

abounding in

steadfast love,

and relenting

from disaster.

This is the

reason Jonah

ran to

start with

from God's

call to go

and preach

to Nineveh.

He knew

that if he

went and

preached,

God would

graciously respond

to those people

by not destroying

them if they

repented.

And Jonah

didn't want to

have any part

in that.

Understand

here,

Jonah is

trying to

justify his

original sin

of running

from God

by saying,

God,

I knew

You were

going to

be gracious

and merciful

and loving

and relent

if I went.

It's hard

to believe

somebody could

think like

that.

It's hard

to believe

that a

believer

like Jonah,

a prophet

like Jonah

could believe

like that,

could think

that way.

But he

not only

thought that,

he said

that.

And he

complained to

God about

that.

Jonah.

Now I want

you to

understand,

and we've

talked about

this,

as we go

through Jonah,

Jonah's us.

We're

Jonah.

We have

some of the

same thoughts

and attitudes

and do some

of the things,

same things

he did.

What we see

in Jonah

just shows us

how dangerous

our anger

can be.

And you

think about

it.

How often

do you try

to justify

your anger

by blaming

someone or

something?

You lose

your temper

at home

and you

try to

justify it

by blaming

your spouse,

blaming your

child,

blaming your

parent,

blame your

cat.

You'd never

blame a dog,

but you would

blame a cat.

You get angry

at work,

but it's never

your fault.

It's the people

you have to

work with.

It's the boss.

It's the

unrealistic

expectations of

your company.

You get

mad at

school,

lose your

temper,

blame your

teacher,

blame another

student,

blame the

excessive

schoolwork.

One of the

hard truths

about anger

is that no

one can

truly make

us angry.

Your spouse

does not

make you

angry.

angry.

Your boss

does not

make you

angry.

Your parent

doesn't make

you angry.

Anger

cannot be

forced upon

us.

Now,

people and

things can

create

circumstances

where our

anger is

aroused.

It's part of

who we are.

It's part of

our emotional

makeup.

Anger is

an emotion

that originates

from within.

Anger is

really an

internal

reaction to

outside

events.

Jesus

described

really the

fact that

whatever comes

out of us,

attitude,

words,

actions,

whatever comes

out in our

emotions like

anger,

it originates

from within.

Look at what he

said in Luke

6.

The good man

brings good

things out of

the good stored

up in his

heart.

And the evil

man brings

evil things out

of the evil

stored up in

his heart.

For out of

the overflow

of his heart

his mouth

speaks.

Out of the

overflow of

his prideful,

selfish,

wanting to be

in control

heart,

his anger

comes.

Jonah was

angry because

of the hatred

within him

toward the

people of

Nineveh.

The

displeasure,

the anger

that came out

of Jonah,

it originated

in his own

heart.

And we need

to understand

that and

accept that.

The displeasure

and anger

that comes

out in our

attitudes,

in our

words,

and in our

actions,

it comes from

within.

So we need

to quit blaming

other people.

We need to quit

trying to justify

ourselves,

our sinful,

angry behavior

as if

we're not

responsible.

He,

she made

me do it.

They didn't.

Let's look at

one more example

of the danger

of anger

seen in Jonah.

Anger sometimes

leads us to feel

sorry for ourselves.

Look at verse 3.

Therefore now,

O Lord,

please take my

life from me

for it is better

for me to die

than to live.

Jonah's anger

over God's

not doing

what he wanted

him to

results in

now he's

feeling sorry

for himself.

He's having

a pity party.

He's saying

he wants to

give up on

life.

Now it's doubtful

that he really

truly wants to

die because he's

talked like that

before.

He's acted that

way before as

we've seen.

And when it

came time to

die, drown in

the ocean, he

didn't want to.

He's just

feeling sorry

for himself

here and

he's whining.

Next week

we're going to

see that gets

worse.

We'll continue

on in chapter

four next week.

But right now,

Pastor Eric

Redmond describes

how Jonah's

feeling sorry

for himself

escalated and

it drove him

to the point

of talking

about ending

his life.

Look at what

Redmond says.

When things

do not turn

out as we

desire them

to, we

then find

ourselves in

truth angry

with the will

of God for

our lives.

It is then

that we, like

Jonah, run

the gamut of

feelings from a

simple pity party,

woe is me,

to depression,

where we don't

even feel like

getting up most

days.

From there we

slide to

despondency,

where we check

out mentally

and emotionally

from a

relationship.

And then to

despair, where

we can't see

anything good

at all.

Finally, if we

do not realize

the downward

emotional cycle,

we can land

at Jonah's

death wish

because we can

see no way

to make life

fair.

And so we

say, God,

it would be

better if I

were dead.

Now, Redmond

is not saying

that anger

is the only

source of

depression and

despair.

Emotional

struggles are

complicated.

It could be

traced to many

sources, some

hard to identify.

But anger

can be one

source,

especially

unresolved

anger.

What Redmond

is saying and

what Jonah

demonstrates is

that sinful

anger does

not just

hurt our

relationship

with God

and our

relationship

with other

people.

Sinful anger

hurts us.

Unresolved

sinful anger

can have a

harmful effect

on many

aspects of

our lives.

Some people

can't sleep.

Some people

have no

appetite because

of their

unresolved

anger.

anger.

Some people,

it affects

the way they

feel,

the way they

think,

the way they

look at

life.

That's why we

need to learn

to deal with

anger quickly

and decisively.

As soon as it

rears up its

ugly head,

we need to

deal with it.

Now, one

final thing.

Is your

anger

dangerous?

Is your

anger

dangerous?

I want you

to look at

what the

Lord asked

Jonah in

verse 4.

And the

Lord said,

Do you do

well to be

angry?

New American

Standard says,

the Lord said,

Do you have

good reason to

be angry?

Then IV says,

But the Lord

replied,

Is it right

for you to

be angry?

The point is,

Jonah needed

to think.

And so,

it lets us.

Do you have

a reason to

be angry if

you're angry

this morning?

Did you have

a reason to

be angry this

past week?

Think about

what usually

triggers your

anger.

Think about how

you are usually

angry.

Is it

justified?

Is the way

you express

it right,

correct,

helpful?

All anger is

not wrong,

as we said

earlier.

We've got to

be careful,

even when our

anger is

right,

it is

justified that

we express

it in an

appropriate and

right way.

But if you

know your

anger is wrong,

you know your

anger is sinful

anger, I want

to encourage you

right now to

do three things.

Number one,

confess it and

repent of it as

the sin that it

is against God.

God, and one of

the favorite

verses for all of

us should be a

promise that if we

confess our sins,

He is faithful and

just to forgive us

and to cleanse us of

all unrighteousness.

You can be

forgiven of that

attitude, of those

words, of those

actions before God.

But if it involves

another person, once

you confess it to

God, you need to go

to that person and

confess it to them.

That's sometimes

all, that's always

a lot harder than

talking to God about

it.

But you need to do

that.

You need to seek

reconciliation with

those you have

wronged through your

unjust anger.

Number two, trust

that God is

sovereign.

Stop blaming

people and

circumstances for

your anger.

Trust that God is

working everything

out in this world

according to His

good purpose.

in people's lives

around you and in

your life.

You be responsible.

You make wise

decisions, but trust

that God is truly in

control.

As Paul tells us in

Romans 8, 28, a lot

of people in this room

would say, this is my

favorite verse, most

helpful verse in all

of the Bible.

And we know that in

all things, God works

for the good of those

who love Him, who've

been called according

to His purpose.

Number three, ask God

to help you to grow in

love for other people.

A lot of our anger

issues involve other

people.

Well, love will help

us.

Look at this.

Love will help us not

be as easily offended.

First Corinthians 13,

love is not easily

angered.

You know, we live in a

world where everybody's

offended.

Everybody's offended.

That irritates you,

doesn't it?

It irritates me.

Are you one who's

easily offended?

Do you walk around

with a chip on your

shoulder?

The least little word,

the least little look,

it offends you.

And you let people know

by what you say back to

them, by what you say

behind their back,

maybe.

Love will help us to

not be so easily

offended.

Number two, love will

help us to overlook a

lot of things.

We need to learn to

overlook a lot of

things.

I don't want to hurt

anybody's feelings here.

I don't want this to

sound too smart-alecky,

but if it is, it is.

Sometimes when we are

offended, think we're

being offended,

the person really

didn't mean it.

The person doesn't care

enough about us to hurt

us, to offend us.

Sometimes, I really do

think sometimes we as

individuals, a lot of us

have some paranoia.

Most people don't notice

us.

Most people don't care.

Most people are just

living their life.

And along the way, some

people might accidentally

say or do something that

you take offense to.

A lot of that stuff,

overlook it.

Forget it.

Don't let it bother you.

It doesn't bother me.

Don't let it bother you.

Look at it.

Above all, love each other

deeply because love covers

over a multitude of sins.

If you love somebody, you

don't have a chip on your

shoulder around them.

If you love somebody, you'll

give them the benefit of

the doubt.

If you love somebody, you'll

let it go when it's just

some kind of something that

doesn't matter.

One other.

Love will help us to forgive

and forget.

When I say forget, it means

not recall it, not bring it

back up.

Love keeps no record of

wrongs.

Anger is a normal human

emotion and we all have it.

Some express it more than

others, but we all have to

deal with it.

Until the day we die, we're

going to have to deal with

our anger.

What I want us to do as we

close here, we need to

pray that God will help us.

Help us to control our

anger and not let our

anger control us.

Let's pray.

Dear God,

help us all to see how we

need to respond to this

message.

Because we all know to

some degree of the danger

of anger.

Lord, you are, you are able

to make it clear to every

person.

Help every person in this

room to, to want to hear you,

to want to deal properly with

their anger, to not be like

Jonah in any way like this.

So show everyone what they

need to do.

Confess sin, trust you,

grow in their love.

And you just do that as we

have an attitude of prayer.

And if I could pray with you

during this time, I'd be happy

to do right here at the front

during the next few minutes.

OK.

There we go.

Okay.

Okay.