Thinking Biblically About Anger

What one word would you use to describe the current climate in this country?

Just think about it a moment.

One word that you think accurately describes the overall climate in this country.

How about the word angry?

I think the word angry or anger describes the current climate of our country at this moment in time.

According to some headlines of major newspapers, other people think the same thing.

For an example, from the Wall Street Journal at the 1st of June, anger and unrest sweep across the U.S.

From the Washington Post near the end of June, Americans are living in a big anger incubator.

That article describes how anger is a common response to three major problems that Americans have been forced to deal with this year.

Note this quote.

According to psychiatrist Joshua Morgenstein, the country is now dealing with three disasters superimposed on top of one another.

The pandemic, the economic fallout, and civil unrest.

Certainly one way of responding and a common way of responding is anger, said Morgenstein.

Now, anger is not only a common way of responding to major disasters in our country.

It's also a common way of responding to minor disappointments in our personal lives.

For example, do you ever go to Walmart and you notice there are eight checkout lanes closed?

Two open and a long line in each one of those.

Does that ever make you angry?

Think about this past week.

Did your spouse, your child, your parent, your friend, your co-worker,

that they say or do something that just didn't set well with you?

And you unleashed your anger on them?

Anger is a common response to many of life's major and minor injustices,

irritations, and disappointments.

Jerry Bridges points out that it's a common response,

too common a response maybe, in our lives as Christians.

Look at what he says.

Anger is a universal problem.

No one is isolated from its presence or immune from its poison.

It permeates each person and spoils our most intimate relationships.

Anger is a given part of our fallen human fabric.

Sadly, it is true even in our Christian homes and churches.

Anger is often directed toward those we should love most,

our spouse, children, parents, or siblings in our human families,

and those who are our brothers and sisters in Christ in our church families.

Now you think about it.

Sinful anger.

Sinfully expressed anger causes all kinds of divisions and destruction in our country,

in our homes, and in our personal relationships.

Therefore, I think it will be helpful for us this morning to think biblically

about the problem of anger and how God will help us to deal with it

and control it if we want to.

See, that's the key.

He's not going to make us.

We've got to see it as the problem it is.

Look to Him for help and then use His help.

Take it.

Now, before we begin, I want to make it real clear.

Anger is a complex issue.

There's no way that it could be dealt with adequately in a single sermon

or even a series of sermons.

Let me say this.

A person with frequent and intense anger

that often leads to physically or emotionally abusive behavior

needs the help of a real Christian counselor

or maybe even, and maybe even a medical doctor.

So hear that clearly.

If you have a real problem with frequent and intense anger

that results in physically or emotionally abusive behavior,

do something about it.

Seek help.

And I would encourage you to seek a good Christian counselor first.

Now, the focus of this message

is to deal with some of the more common aspects of anger

that we as Christians struggle with.

Some of us struggle more than others.

Let's think about it.

Two questions.

Number one, why do we struggle with anger at times?

Why do we as Christians struggle with sinful anger and angry outbursts?

Well, if you do a study of anger using Christian or secular sources,

you're going to find that many people describe a list

of what they call causes of anger.

Some of them are very helpful.

Jerry Bridges summarizes the cause of anger.

It's a simple approach, what he's trying to do.

He's not trying to be a Christian counselor.

But he summarizes the causes of anger under three categories.

Pride.

Personal pride.

Selfishness.

And a desire to control.

A desire to control the people and the situations

that we find ourselves in.

Now, that can be a helpful list.

It may be that you can look at that

and you can identify a source or sources

of your sinful anger just by that little list.

And if so, good.

That's the first step to properly deal with it.

But I want us to look at something James White does

in helping us to identify anger.

He takes another approach by helping us identify

the sources of our anger in terms of things we believe

that are wrong.

In his book, Long Night's Journey Into Day,

White says that most of our anger arises

because of three myths or false assumptions,

or you can't use the word illusions,

or even lies, three myths we believe about life.

That's how I want us to begin looking at anger.

Number one, we get angry because we believe the myth

that the world and everyone in it

should be dedicated to doing what is in my best interest.

Now, look at that statement.

Here's the myth in that.

We think life is all about me.

We think the world should revolve around me.

Now, we would never say it that way.

We would never admit it.

But how often do we act like everyone around us,

everything around us should be focused on me,

should be centered on me?

I'll be honest.

Sometimes I get behind somebody going slow in the fast lane,

or I'm just down a two-lane road,

like going to Anderson on 178,

somebody's going 35 miles an hour.

I truly believe that person ought to pull over and stop

and let me get around.

I'll be honest with you.

Sometimes I get angry when they don't.

Now, don't anybody look at me like that's never happened to you.

Lying is a sin we can look at next week if necessary.

Now, just the Walmart situation.

When you go in there and it's crowded,

long line to check out,

you see all these empty lanes,

all these unstaffed cash registers,

you think to yourself,

they should open another checkout lane for me.

And when things like that do not happen,

we get angry.

The myth,

the world should revolve around me.

Everyone should sit up and take notice of me.

The truth is,

things don't always go our way.

In fact,

life rarely works the way we want it to.

Most people don't make us the center of their world.

You know,

some people struggle with paranoia.

I hope you don't,

because most people don't think about you.

They don't talk about you.

They don't care about you.

Don't be paranoid.

If you're sitting in that pew,

and you see somebody sitting over here,

and you stay there whispering,

some people think they're whispering about me.

No,

they're not thinking about you.

They're thinking about where they're going to eat,

and the service is over.

They're not thinking about you.

Life does not revolve around you or me.

There are very few people

who will ever even have the thought

of making life better for you

or making you the center of their world.

Jesus helps us to understand

that we live in a fallen, sinful world

that is not for us,

especially as Christians,

or as Christians,

is what He's talking about.

Look in John 16, 33.

Jesus said this,

talking to His disciples,

preparing them for the persecution

that was to come in the near future,

but also as they took the gospel

to the ends of the world,

He's preparing them.

He says,

I have said these things to you

that in me you may have peace.

In the world you will have tribulation,

but take heart.

I have overcome the world.

What we need to understand as Christians

is the world's not our friend.

The world rejects our king.

The Lord Jesus.

The world rejects our source of truth.

The Bible.

If you desire to live a faithful Christian life

in this world,

I mean to really follow Christ,

seek God's will,

do things His way,

that's not going to make your life easy.

When Jesus said what we saw on the board there,

we should expect opposition.

We should expect opposition to the world.

We should expect even real persecution,

even as Christians living in this country today.

Now, on a more general level,

we need to accept the fact

that life in this world is not fair.

Surely, if you are in your 40s,

absolutely if you're in your 50s or older,

you have learned that life's not fair.

If you haven't, where have you been?

If you haven't, how have you missed it?

A lot of people,

children, teenagers, young adults,

sometimes have this idealistic view of life

and for some reason think life is fair.

Life is fair for me.

It's not.

As I said a few weeks ago,

fair is where you go to ride rides

and eat cotton candy.

Fair is not what you're going to experience

in this world.

So, we need to reject the myth

that life is all about me.

Myth number two,

we get angry because we believe the myth

that our anger is caused by external circumstances.

Here's the myth.

We think that other people

or our circumstances

make us angry.

Haven't you said things like,

he makes me so mad.

She infuriates me.

That makes me livid.

We say things like that.

We believe things like that.

But that's a myth.

The truth is,

no one makes us angry.

Our anger comes from within.

Within us,

our heart,

our mind.

Anger is an internal reaction

to some kind of external event.

You know,

we have looked over the last several weeks

at several things Jesus talked about

that helps us understand

that what comes out of us,

what comes out of our mouth,

our,

these kind of things like anger,

it originates from what's within us.

Here's a good example.

Jesus said,

the good person

out of the good treasure

of his heart

produces good.

And the evil person

out of his evil treasure

produces evil.

For out of the abundance

of the heart

his mouth

speaks.

What comes out

is an indication

of what is inside us.

Anger is an emotion.

It originates from within us.

Now,

here's something

that I know some people

have been,

you know,

you're thinking to yourself,

you're arguing with me.

Here's where we're going

to agree on this.

Some people know

how to push our anger buttons.

Don't they?

Some people know

what to say,

what to do.

is going to spark

that angry

feeling,

emotion,

and probably outburst.

Some people know

how to push

your anger button

to make you lose control,

to put them

in control,

to give them

more power.

Some children

know how to push

the anger button

of their parents.

They get mad,

they blow up,

they lose control.

That is a fact.

Some people know

how to push

our anger buttons,

but

we control

how we respond.

We really can't

blame other people

or other things

when we erupt

in anger.

They may have made

the situation

more difficult

for us.

Bottom line,

though,

we're responsible

for how we respond.

We're responsible

for the words

that come out

of our mouths.

We're responsible

for the way

we express

our emotions,

including our anger.

So,

reject the myth

that your anger

is caused

by external

circumstances.

Myth number three,

we get angry

because we believe

the myth

that anger

is a force

beyond our control.

Here's the myth.

We think

we can't help it

when we lose

our temper.

We make excuses

for why we lose

our temper,

for why we

get angry

and say

and do things.

I was tired.

It had been

a long day.

I'm under

a lot of stress.

You just

would not believe

the stress

that I experience

at my job.

Or,

I'm just

a hot-tempered

person.

That's just

how I was

made.

As if God

is at fault

for your anger.

The truth is,

we can control

our angry

reactions.

The Bible

teaches us

repeatedly

that we are

responsible

for our actions,

including

controlling our

anger.

And I want you

to note

what James

says,

and he's

writing a letter

to Christians

and telling

them what to

control.

Look at this.

Know this,

my beloved

brothers,

let every person

be quick to

hear,

slow to speak,

slow to anger,

for the anger

of man does

not produce

the righteousness

of God.

Now,

for James

to write that

to Christians

means we

can control

our anger.

It also

means,

let me back up

a moment,

anger can be

a problem

for Christians.

James is

writing in the

first century.

Every New

Testament letter

deals with

problems in the

life of the

church.

and the

life of

individual

Christians.

So,

when you

read that,

James was

aware that

some people

in the

church,

they're

quick-tempered.

And so,

he tells them

to be slow

to anger.

And he

tries to

give them

a reason,

for the

anger of

man does

not produce

the righteousness

of God.

The reason

he can tell

us that as

Christians is

because we

are indwelled

with the

Spirit of

God.

We can

successfully

control our

emotions like

anger and

prevent emotions

like anger from

controlling us.

Reject the

myth that

anger is a

force beyond

your control.

Now, if you

often deal with

sinful anger,

anger, and

the sinful

expressions of

that anger, I

want to

encourage you to

be open and

honest with God

about that.

And first of

all here, ask

God to help

you to identify

the source of

your anger.

Think about

it.

Spend some time

today.

Pray about it.

In light of what

we've said, is it

your pride, your

selfishness, your

desire to

control everyone

and everything in

your life?

Is that what

causes the anger

that you have to

deal with so

much?

Or is the

source of your

anger coming from

the fact that you

believe you have

false assumptions

about how life

works that we

just looked at?

Once we start

identifying the

source of our

anger and accept

our responsibility

for dealing with

it, expressing

that emotion

appropriately, then

we'll be ready to

start working on

controlling it.

And that's the

next question.

How do we

control our

anger?

Well, I'm going

to say this to

begin with.

Just as the

causes of anger

are complex, so

is the solution.

There is no easy

solution.

There is no one

prayer that you

can pray and all

of a sudden your

anger is gone.

I would have

prayed that a long

time ago.

if that was

true.

There is no

secret formula,

no biblical

formula that you

do this, this,

this, and it will

eliminate all your

sinful expressions of

anger.

That does not

exist.

But with God's

help, there are

things we can do

to help us better

control our

anger and control

how we express

it.

So let's look.

First, accept the

fact that most of

our anger is sinful

anger.

How do we control

our anger?

First of all, accept

most of our anger is

sinful anger.

Now I say that

because some anger is

good, healthy,

appropriate.

All anger is not

sinful.

I want you to look at

this verse, verses

from Ephesians 4.

Be angry and do

not sin.

Do not let the sun

go down on your

anger and give no

opportunity to the

devil.

It's right to be

angry sometimes.

It's right to be

angry because sometimes

God's angry.

Jesus did some

things and showed

his anger like when

he cleansed the

temple, like when he

dealt with some of

the hypocritical

Pharisees.

Jesus was angry and

it was good that he

was angry.

There's some things in

life that should move

us to the right kind

of anger.

Things that violate

God's moral will.

When I say that,

that's what the Bible

reveals in terms of

how God wants us to

live.

That's God's moral

will.

He wants us to be

people who speak the

truth.

He wants us to love

one another.

He wants us to forgive

one another.

He wants us to have

the right kind of

relationships in our

home between husbands

and wives and parents

and children.

But we've got to be

very careful that when

we express our

righteous anger, we

do it in an

inappropriate way.

We are never

justified to express

righteous anger in an

unrighteous way.

James Robbins in a

USA Today article

points out how the

justified anger that

peaceful protesters

express following

George Floyd's

killing has been

overshadowed by the

unjustified angry

response of violence

and destruction.

I want you to note

what he says.

Peaceful protests

over George Floyd's

killing have been

overshadowed by images

of rage-fueled violence

and destruction.

Resorting to rioting is

strange because there is

little disagreement that

Floyd's death in custody

was senseless and

criminal.

Few defend the police who

were responsible.

They were quickly fired.

One has been charged with

murder.

And the Justice Department

has opened an investigation

into the tragedy.

Everyone is on the same

side of this issue.

Yet, rioting sparked and

spread.

There is no rational purpose

behind people burning

buildings, torching cars,

breaking windows, spray

painting obscenities, and the

other actions that have left

city blocks looking like war

zones.

Some say these are

expressions of anger and

frustration and maybe so.

But they are also unjustified,

foolish, and counterproductive.

Now, I want you to think of

your anger issues.

Think personally.

There may be occasions when

you are justifiably angry.

But if we're honest, that's

rarely true.

It's possible.

And sometimes we may be

justifiably angry.

But if I'm honest, most of my

anger is not justifiable.

More often than not, our

expressions of anger are

unjustified, foolish.

That is, they're irrational.

And they are counterproductive.

Similar to the anger of

rioters and looters.

But our anger is more on a

personal level.

Or on a family level.

On a much, much smaller scale

level.

But it's just as sinful.

Just as wrong.

Therefore, the first thing we

need to do is to get control

of, the first thing we need to

do in order to get control of

our anger is to stop justifying

it.

Just admit, most of our anger is

sinful anger.

So instead of trying to justify

it, confess it as the sin that it

is against God.

And after you do that, confess it as

the sin that it is against the

person you exploded on.

A lot of times that's a whole lot

more difficult.

But that's necessary.

Yes, we confess our sin to God

because ultimately all sin is

against God.

But we need to also learn to

confess our sin to those we

wrong and be humble about it and

seek their forgiveness.

We not only need to confess it, agree

with God, we need to repent of it.

We need to change our mind about

the way we're acting.

About unleashing our anger just

because we want to.

It helps us to get it out or

whatever.

We need to change our mind and

turn from our sinful pride or

selfishness or controlling

desires in order to overcome

anger.

We've got to stop believing lies

that everything's supposed to go

our way.

That someone else is responsible

for my anger.

Or that I can't help it when I

explode in rage.

Then we need to draw near to God.

We need to ask Him to fill us

afresh with His Spirit.

I'm talking about if we want to

overcome our anger.

Everybody doesn't.

But if you as a Christian want to

be right with God, right with other

people when it comes to how you deal

with these kind of emotions, if you

want to overcome your anger issues,

learn to live each day in dependence

upon God.

Trusting Him.

Let's look at three things.

Number one, trust that God's in

control of this world and your life.

Sometimes I've said it like this,

trust that God is sovereign.

Stop blaming other people and

circumstances for your anger.

You know, God does not cause other

people to sin against you, but He

certainly allows it.

God does not intervene and keep

everyone from doing things that

push your button.

God does not intervene in every life

situation and prevent people from

driving slow in the fast lane so that

you won't get angry.

The life of Joseph is in Genesis 35

through 50, those chapters.

It illustrates this, the best, probably

the best in the Bible.

Joseph was truly a man of God, but he

was betrayed by his brothers and sold

into slavery.

He was taken to a foreign land.

He became a slave in the household of an

Egyptian leader.

He was mistreated there, thrown in prison,

forgotten there even.

Life was hard for Joseph from between

the ages of 16, 17 and 30.

Everything but fair.

Many people would have just been an

angry, bitter human being if what

happened to Joseph happened to them.

But Joseph didn't respond that way.

If you read the story in every one of

these situations, he remained faithful

to the Lord.

And at the end, God placed him in a place

of power and authority over all of

Egypt, just under Pharaoh.

And in that position of power and

authority, he got an opportunity to deal

with his brothers.

But I want you to look how he responded.

Classic statement, Genesis 50, 20.

As for you, he told those brothers, you

meant evil against me.

But God meant it for good to bring it

about that many people should be kept

alive as they are today.

God didn't make those brothers do what

they did or anyone else in the story.

But God worked through their sinful

actions, their jealousy.

And even though Joseph suffered, God so

worked to put him in a position to save

his family, literally, which meant to

preserve what was going to become the

nation of Israel.

This is the way God works in all of his

people's lives.

Romans 8, 28, a verse that many of you

claim very often.

And we know that in all things, God

works for the good of those who love him,

who've been called according to his

purpose.

If we want to learn to deal with anger the

right way, we need to learn God's in

control.

We can trust him.

He is in control.

Number two, ask God to help you to grow

in your love for other people.

Love really is the key to developing

healthy relationships which will help us

to guard against unleashing our anger.

It won't prevent it, but it will help us

to be more cautious, on guard.

I want you to look at something Peter said

that a lot of us need to take to heart.

Above all, love each other deeply because

love covers over a multitude of sins.

A lot of us are too easily offended.

A lot of us too easily get our feelings

hurt.

Part of that probably where I'm on our

sleeve.

We're easily offended, easily hurt.

And so a lot of times we take things too

seriously.

We take things as they were not intended

and we get angry.

We get bitter.

We say and do things that just shouldn't

be said and done.

If we love people, we'll just learn to

let a lot of things go.

Give people the benefit of the doubt.

That is what love does.

It covers over a multitude of sins.

But look at this.

You know this in 1 Corinthians 13.

Love is patient.

Love is kind.

It is not rude.

It is not self-seeking.

It is not easily angered.

The love that God will give us for one

another will motivate us to be more

self-controlled.

Including controlling our anger.

Number three.

Learn to be more sensitive to the

indwelling of the Holy Spirit.

Learn to be more sensitive to His presence

and obedient to His leading.

In Galatians 5, Paul gives us some

very helpful statements about how the

Holy Spirit works in our lives.

I want you to look at one.

So I say, live by the Spirit.

Be obedient to the Spirit.

Be sensitive to His presence.

Be obedient to His leadership.

Live by the Spirit and you will not

gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

And then he says a little bit later in

that chapter, he points out some of the

acts of the sinful nature.

And look at this one.

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious.

Fits of rage.

When we get angry, we lose it.

We explode.

Fits of rage.

That is all of the sinful nature having its way in us.

It's us living like an unbeliever.

But when we live under the power of the Holy Spirit,

look at this.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love,

is patience, is kindness,

gentleness, and self-control.

Self-control.

Let's wind it up now.

The worst thing that any of us can do this morning

is to ignore, deny, or try to justify our sinful anger.

The very worst thing is just ignore it.

Pretend this hour never existed.

Or deny it.

Or justify it.

If you have a problem with anger,

admit it.

And ask God to help you to start dealing with it

the right way by trusting Him,

loving people,

and living in dependence on

the power of the Holy Spirit who lives within you.

Anger does not, should not, control a Christian.

By the grace and power of God that we have as Christians,

we can control our anger.

Let's seek God's help and do it.

Would you pray with me?

Father, show us now

how each one of us as individuals

need to respond to you,

to this message.

How each one of us needs to deal with our anger.

Father, help people here who are struggling

to identify the source.

Help them, Father, to confess the sin,

to repent,

to seek your forgiveness,

to reconcile with those

that they're not close to now because of anger.

Help us all, dear God,

to learn to truly trust you.

Help us to seek your help to grow in our love for other people.

And Father,

help us to desire to live

a Spirit-filled, Spirit-controlled life.

Help us to seek to consciously be aware

of the Holy Spirit's presence in our life

and obedient to His leadership.

Let's just, in an attitude of prayer,

respond to the Lord

as He wants you to.

Let's use these next few minutes to do that.