Flourish: A Heavy Posture Towards Your Parents

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Let's pray together.

Father, the great thing about a confession in a little course like that is the Bible says that you're rich in mercy.

So when we appeal to your mercy, we are appealing to that, which you are rich in.

You have a vast storehouse.

The Bible says that of you and your mercies that every day, every morning, that they're new, we never exhaust them.

The Bible tells us in the book of Romans that where sin did abound, grace did abound all the more.

John tells us that we beheld your glory as the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.

So there's this balance in your nature and your being, and so we can be balanced.

And so we cry out for mercy, God.

We're not asking for pity.

We're asking for the God who makes a difference to make a difference in us.

Heal what's broken in us, restore what's been lost in us, uh, convict what needs to be convicted in us, put to death what needs to be put to death in us, and bring to life what needs to be brought to life in us.

All of that is packed into that little phrase, Son of David, have mercy on me.

So, Holy Spirit, lead us into the truth today.

This is a wacky and crazy time in our country, and it's a great opportunity for the light to shine, for us to shine like stars in the universe in the midst of this crooked and depraved generation.

Just like the Bible says.

And so, Lord, seat us with the heaviness of your truth.

It's not a burden, but it is consequential.

Let it be that and have its way in our lives today.

We pray, you know.

We pray this in Jesus' name, and everyone said, Amen.

You can have a seat.

If you got a Bible, I invite you to take it and open it up to Exodus chapter 20.

Exodus 20 · chapter mention

If you're our guest, we're in a series right now entitled Flourish.

We're going to the book of Exodus and we're taking the Ten Commandments.

We're trying to think about the Ten Commandments the way the Bible teaches the Ten Commandments.

It's not a condition for our freedom, it is a consequence of our freedom.

That we've been set free.

We're no longer slaves to Pharaoh or anybody else.

Uh, and now we have the capacity to live a certain life.

It's God's chosen people.

And this morning, uh we're up to the fifth commandment, which I think is probably the hardest commandment to keep.

I asked the staff this morning, our prayer time, hey, what's the hardest commandment?

And they're like, Oh, keep the Sabbath.

Keep it the Sabbath.

I don't have a problem with the Sabbath, just for the record.

I'd be a sabbaticating fool the rest of my life.

I'm gonna unplug and not answer my phone.

You can call, leave a message.

If I don't answer, I may be sabbaticating.

And I like to call it sabbaticating because my kids are like, Dad, that's not what the Bible calls it.

It's called the Sabbath.

That's the noun.

I'm the verb.

Sabbaticating is the verb form of Sabbath.

I just think you make up things because they sound crazy.

Well, I make up a whipping, we'll see what that sounds like.

And then all of a sudden they don't want to talk anymore.

Uh but it's, I don't think the Sabbath, I mean, I get that some of for you it's hard, but I think for all of us, this one cuts both ways.

Uh, and so because somebody asked me a couple weeks ago, they said, hey, can't you just read the one you're preaching on this Sunday?

Why don't you back and start at the beginning and read all of them?

Because we don't read the Ten Commandments enough.

So every time we're gonna start at the beginning.

And so I'll just start.

Let me just kind of say this by way of context.

The first four, we're kind of making the turn to what's called the second table of the commandments this morning, this morning.

The first four commandments govern our response to God.

The last six kind of govern the way we treat each other.

Uh and one of the greatest tragedies of our day is the erosion for respect and authority and authority figures in our country.

Let me say this again, and I'll demonstrate just from TV last night.

I tried not to watch, but I watched a little bit of the debate.

Did anybody watch the debate?

I just, here's what I was struck by, because here's what happens.

See, if you look around, there's this eroding effect, this sense of erosion that's taking place in our authority figures in our culture.

There's no one, there's no one like in a no one gets respect.

We don't respect people as an authority figure last night.

And I stood and watched, and I'm not a political person.

I kind of make fun of my friends that are all into it.

Like, if we get this person in there, and oh, okay.

But but I did have this deep thought last night.

Hey, Donald Trump, you should at least respect people.

You shouldn't shout people down, you shouldn't talk over these people.

And it's just kind of like we as a country think that's funny.

That's more of a statement about you than Donald Trump.

That you talk like that in rooms full of little children.

I'm like, what?

See, but see, here's the thing.

I'm not here to bag on the country.

The erosion for uh of respect for authority and authority figures that we see in the culture first started in the home.

And so this gets down to where we are because the Bible's gonna say to us today, honor your father and mother so that your days may be long upon the earth.

Uh and we gotta raise up kids.

See, if you see people out in public that don't respect authority figures, there's a good chance that they didn't have to respect authority, they didn't have authority figures at home.

And so the Bible kind of invites us to think digestively about this this morning with these words.

Exodus chapter 20, verse 1.

Exodus 20:1

And God spoke all these words, saying, I am the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.

You shall have no other gods before me.

You shall not make for yourself a carved image or any likeness or anything that is in heaven above, or is in earth beneath, or that is in the water underneath the earth.

You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation, of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments.

You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain.

Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy.

Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh is a Sabbath to the Lord your God.

On it you shall not do any work, you or your son, or your daughter, or your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates.

For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth and sea and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day.

Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

We come to our passage this morning, verse twelve.

Honor your father and mother that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

May God bless the reading and the proclamation of his word.

Uh uh I want to talk to you this morning about uh a heavy posture towards your parents, uh uh of having and maintaining a heavy posture towards your parents.

I know you're like, what do you mean a heavy posture?

Uh it's not what you think.

And the text will kind of uh unpack that in just a minute.

And I I have just two points this morning.

Probably take about eight minutes.

You got that in you?

You don't look like you believe me.

So one one one of our little people over here kind of said, eight minutes, yes.

Uh uh here, I'll give you my two points.

I'll go back and unpack them.

See, you got the command and then you got the promise.

You got the command and you got the promise.

You got what God says to do, and then you got a picture of what happens when you do what God is kind of telling you to do.

So we'll start with the command.

And by the way, let me just say this about helping us to understand the commands.

Uh, the goal of life is not about this internal self-actualization.

It's not about finding your true self and getting in touch with yourself and saying things like, Well, my God's a God of love, or what's really important is that I be happy.

We we've kind of let our kids kind of this this kind of thinking is seeped into their mental DNA, and we've got a generation that's run amuck with this sense of in life is about internal self-actualization.

I'm gonna, no, no one came back from from the war and said, I'm gonna backpack uh out to Oregon and find myself.

They just went to work, got jobs, and and and built this uh a country.

And and so I want to say, just by way of thinking big picture about commands, it the goal of all of this is not this internal self-actualization, but this is horrible, get ready.

It's conformity to an external standard.

It's conformity to an external standard.

In other words, you were created by God uh to conform to something outside of yourself.

Because if you could find, if you could, if just actualizing yourself, getting in touch with yourself, if you could find peace and contentment and purpose in life, in yourself, then why do you need Jesus?

Why do you need the Bible?

Why do you need anything to come along and kind of say, hey, you ought to conform to this external standard?

And see, that's what's happened in the past maybe 15 to 20 years, is that we've kind of put it in, we've raised people to think, hey, all of life is about actualizing the ideal self.

Get in touch with who you are, you're empowered, this is your fight song, take back your life song.

It's everywhere.

And no one says, hey, this thing right here is right, and it's what you're gonna be evaluated by and what your life is gonna be assessed by, and it is a template that God will lay over you in judgment.

Oh, no, you can't judge me.

I see these tattoos all the time.

Guys have it on their neck and on their arm.

Only God can judge me.

Yes, bless you.

Uh yes, he is going to, and that's not gonna be something you ought to look that forward to.

Uh but see, we we we kind of that's just the idealized, uh, what I would even go as far to say is the arrogant self.

Because if you fall into this first category that you think life is all about this internal self-actualization, then you think about the cat the commandments in terms of suggestions over which you have authority.

I like that one, don't like that one, like that one, that one, and the rest of them, I don't have any need for.

However, if you think what I would say biblically, that it's about your life and the peace and purpose you experience thereof is about conformity to this external standard.

Then you think of the commandments as things that have authority over you.

And so when the Bible comes along in Exodus 20, verse 12 and says, honor your father and mother, that word honor is a Hebrew word kavad.

Exodus 20:12

Kavad, and it means heavy.

It means heavy.

It even means burden.

I prayed this this morning with the staff, and I said, Lord, you know, let our parents be heavy because it's heaviness that seats the gasket and keeps it from leaking.

That that that's that's what kind of seals things and makes things function as they should.

I remember uh a long time ago, uh we had a space program.

Remember that?

And we would go to space and we had a thing called a shuttle, and we would go up and we would do stuff in space, and then those cats would kind of glide back.

I try to explain that to my kids when they're like six and seven, that that thing's not had doesn't have any power.

It is gliding back, and they're just like, oh, whatever, dad.

Uh and but but I remember when I was a sophomore in college, standing on the third floor of Marshall Hall, uh at my at my alma mater, and somebody came up the stairs and said, it blew up.

And I was like, what?

And he said, the space shuttle.

It blew up this morning when it took off.

You know what happened to that?

This billion dollar, multiple billions of dollars piece of machinery blew up because they launched it on too cold of a day, and a 47 cent o-ring, a little rubber circular gasket, looks like a washer, but it's made out of rubber.

It was too cold and it was kind of hardened and it didn't seat and seal and fuel leaked out, and that thing blew up on takeoff.

When the Bible says honor your father and mother, God's saying, hey, you need some hate, you need some weight brought to bear on you.

You need some authority figure that you honor, that you relate to your mom and dad, because they have a sense of weight and authority over you.

And that's not a bad thing.

It's not repressive, it's not oppressive, it is it seats and seals you, or else you're gonna leak.

And in a time of great crisis, when God says, now let's go to full throttle.

I want to step this thing up and trust you with more, you're gonna self-destruct.

And that happens because moms and dads don't love their kids enough.

You can't just love your kids for when they're 15.

You gotta love them when they're 15 in a way that prepares them to be 25.

Or else you're gonna be writing checked for them when they're 25.

Because culture won't bear them because they're irresponsible and they just can't function.

They don't know how to do life or anything.

And so there's this command, and it's unapologetically, honor your father and mother.

Kavad, heavy.

Now, before you check out on me, let me just make this distinction because I don't know where your mind goes, but this is a kind of a difficult sermon for me to preach because uh I one of my parents, it's easy to honor.

The other one, not so much.

I just had a front row seat while that person just chose a path of destruction.

And so when the Bible says honor, let me just say this.

Uh here's how, and I don't think this is a cop-out.

You you could because if you're not careful, you look at the person and kind of go, I don't have to honor that person.

Or if you have a stepparent, I hear this all the time.

You're not my mom.

You're not my mom.

You're my stepmom.

Hey, the e you're looking at the person.

It's not, it's not the person, uh, it's the position.

It's the position.

So if you're if you're here and you got a stepdad or a stepmom, you you may look at them and go, I don't like you, I didn't choose you, you're the reason my parents got a divorce or whatever.

You are still, hear me now, you are still honor bound by God to honor that position.

To let that person have a sense of weight and influence and be heavy in your life.

Let me ask you this question, and this is for all of us, whether you're six or sixty-six, who's heavy in your life these days?

Who is it when you get around them, they kind of bring some weight to bear and it kind of seals the gasket in your life so that you don't leak?

So when God says, Hey, let's throttle up and go to full throttle, hey, I want to take you, I want to mature you, I want to grow you up.

You don't just implode in this fiery explosion, and it's just kind of a oh my gosh, and everybody stands around speechless and just kind of like the command is honor your father and mother.

Sometimes it's the person, and that's easy to do.

And sometimes you gotta say, you know what?

I honor the position, I honor your role in my life.

And by the way, it the older you get, the harder that gets.

Because you don't need them anymore.

My wife was leaving after the next service to drive back to Pensacola.

Most of you know her mom's been in and out of the hospital.

She's back in the hospital.

My wife's like, Well, you're leaving to go to Costa Rica on Friday.

I want to be here you last week.

And I said, Hey, babe, honor your father and mother.

Oh, don't talk sweetly to me.

That makes me want to cry.

Make up your mind, ladies.

How do you want it?

You want us to be sweet or what?

I don't know.

It's I said, hey, we're gonna be fine.

Chick-fil-a is open all this week.

We got this covered.

Uh and here's the thing: it's just not convenient.

My wife was just there last weekend.

Going back, and I was like, hey, here's the deal, and I probably shouldn't have said this.

There's gonna come a day that you can't drive to Pensacola and see her anymore.

Oh, don't say that.

I was like, okay, I thought I was being helpful, but clearly I was being too logical.

Hey, honor the person or the position.

Now, here's a question I want you to ask yourself.

How do you remain?

Because this honoring thing goes both ways.

We gotta honor our mom and dad adults, and then you gotta raise kids that honor you.

And so let me just kind of speak to that in an effort to help you.

How do you remain heavy in your kids' lives?

How do you remain a person of influence that has kind of weight instead of volume?

You should ask yourself, is your parenting more about weight or more about volume?

Because if you're always raising your voice, you you don't have much, you're not heavy in your kids' lives.

I I'm I'm not a yeller.

I'm just not, I grew up with a family of yellers, and I just remember thinking, I don't know that that works.

Uh and and so I just say it, I don't count to three.

I say, hey, do this, uh, or hey, you didn't clean your room.

Uh well, dad, I got, you know, I'm I'm I'm on FaceTime uh on my phone.

No, on my phone.

No, the phone that I pay for, that's my phone.

And so I'll tell you what, I'll give you by two o'clock this afternoon have your room clean.

And if the room's not clean by two, then we have to set the kingdom down in here.

Hey, my kids don't go, oh, my dad.

No, no, no.

We're gonna the will of God is gonna be realized.

And the will of God when you disobey your father is that you experience consequences.

And so my kids, they could they watch the clock, 1.45.

I got five minutes.

But at two, I just roll in and open the door and just kind of go, because here's the deal.

I'm not always gonna be in their life.

I got one, get ready to go off to college in a few months.

She's X and days off the calendar.

I'm like, don't do that around your mom.

That doesn't bother me at all, okay?

Please, bird rabbit will throw me in that briar patch.

My house about to get bigger up in here.

But don't let your mom see you little countdown clock, you got going, all right?

I gotta live with that.

Uh but you wanna stay heavy.

You don't want, as your kids get older, you just don't want to get more shrill.

Ah! You want to just be a person that when you speak, it's like, yeah, I trust my mom and dad.

And by the way, your kids don't always have to agree with you.

Don't stoop down to the level of your kids' reasoning.

Because they're not as smart as you.

Some of y'all are looking kind of like, uh, why do you hate us?

Hey, if you're if you're if one of you're a student, if you're a child here, I'm not hating on you.

It is a height of arrogance to think that you're 16 and you know as much as your parents do.

I know you're on the internet.

I know you got friends.

Oh, my generation, your generation hasn't done anything yet.

Ask me to come speak at your high school graduation.

I'll be the guy that says, Congratulations.

We have borne you on our paycheck.

You haven't done anything.

We're not impressed yet.

You're not awesome.

Yeah.

Aren't you sick and tired of going to high school graduation speeches where they say, keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars?

You're gonna change the world.

Win.

Now, if you're visiting today, you may be thinking, uh, y'all do this every Sunday.

Hey, you should raise your kids to have a bigger view of other things and other people than of themselves.

They should realize, you know what, there's some heavy people in the world.

My mom and dad got some friends, they come over for dinner, they say crazy stuff, and I lay in my bed at night and giggle about it.

Because it's just bigger than me.

I gotta think about that.

My dad used to take me to the barber shop when I was five.

And these old guys had those bad, leaky green navy tattoos.

Uh, and they would talk about things that I didn't quite understand it all, but I just kind of knew these men have done something because they talked about the war.

I know what I remember asking my dad one day on the truck ride home, Dad, what's the war?

My dad thumped me on the head.

Hey boy, don't you worry about war.

All right?

You worry about work.

We're going to work, we're not going to war.

I was five.

And I just remember thinking, why don't you love me enough to tell me what war is?

But I knew this.

Those men down there with those green things on their arms, they had been places I'd never heard of.

And when they talked about it, I just thought, I should respect them.

Translation, those men are heavy.

Who's still heavy in your life, mom and dad?

See, here's how you remain heavy in your life.

Let me give you three words.

I'll start with the same letter just to help you remind them.

Remember them.

Here's the three words.

It's doctrine.

That's the first word.

Doctrine.

You say, what do you mean?

Uh what the home is the first church, school, and government your kids get exposed to.

You ought to ask yourself, what doctrine are you currently working to help your kids understand with your words and ways?

What doctrine am I currently working to help my kids understand with their words and their ways?

Like I asked my 18-year-old the other day to get ready to go to college.

I said, Hey, I want to have a conversation with you in a couple weeks about your theology of alcohol.

And she's like, Yeah, I was at the party.

I was I was the guy hot.

No.

By the grace of God, our kids took after their mom more than they took after me when I was in high school.

Uh and I just want my kids to, I said, here's the deal, you're going off to college.

And she's like, Yeah, Dad, but I'm going to Baylor.

Yeah, that's my point.

That's my point.

If you think because you're going to Baylor, the kids there don't party like it's 1999, you've lost your mind.

And so here's a phrase you got to get in your vocabulary that sounds natural, and it's this.

That's just not a part of my life right now.

And you got to think about that and have this theology kind of hewn out.

So when the moment comes, you don't crater because you want to be accepted and fit in.

You can just kind of smile and say, hey, and it's not because my parents said so, it's because I believe certain things.

It's in other words, my posture towards that is not external, it's internal.

I've thought about this, I've kind of assimilated this into my life.

This is not, oh, well, you're, yeah, yeah, yeah, your parents are in the ministry, right?

No, I I'm a Christian.

I have certain beliefs around this as it relates to certain things.

And I told my kid, now when you get 21, then you got to make a decision.

Do you want to do that or not?

I wish I could see your faces.

You what?

You told your kid.

Yeah, I told my kids exactly what the Bible says.

Be careful that you don't make something forbidden that the Bible doesn't forbid.

Because your kids ain't gonna trust you.

And I just said, hey, that's why you gotta have a theology about this.

You gotta have a God-informed uh belief and understanding about this.

One of the questions you ought to ask yourself is what is your kids' worldview?

Well, do they know what a worldview is?

And by way, just of a one-sentence definition, I would just tell you a worldview is a framework for which we view reality and make sense of life and the world.

A worldview is a framework for which we view reality and make sense of life and the world.

And here's the part don't write that down.

Write this down.

It is your responsibility, not the youth pastor at your church, to give your kids that.

I talked.

To my kids about hey, what's your theology of sexuality?

Oh, dad.

Okay, is that your answer?

Because I know your dad's sexy.

No.

Oh.

Oh, Dad.

You gotta think about that.

Now, by the way, I started saying that to them when they were like, when my oldest was like 11 or 12.

When she was in the sixth grade, I set her down and said, hey, now your friends are gonna start making dumb decisions.

She was in the eighth grade, I had the same conversation.

Tenth grade, I had the same conversation.

Why?

You like on a two-year rotation?

No, I want my I want my daughters to be thinking.

Because I said, the older you get, the more your kids, your friends just kind of just kind of flake out and just kind of slough off and just go the way of the dodo.

And there's a loneliness, Madison, to obedience that you gotta embrace.

She's looking at me like, Dad, I'm 12.

By the way, your kids, if you're not, if you're not, and you don't have to use the word doctrine.

Uh I have a friend of mine that he says, hey, how do you talk to your kids about spiritual things?

And I was like, by the way, he said that, I was like, oh man, how do you talk?

He said, Well, my son's 14, and I go in his room and say, Hey, buddy, how about sub you, me, in Jesus time?

You didn't just say that.

You really don't say that.

What's wrong with that?

It's hokey and cheesy and just lame.

Let's start there.

And by the way, if you've got to go in your kid's room, you ever notice you go in your kid's room, they look at you like, what are you doing in here?

This is my room.

That's what I'm doing in here.

I might sleep on the floor tonight for all you care.

I've not slept in this room in a while.

Uh, okay.

I said to the guys, hey, don't make it this.

In Deuteronomy, we'll end reading from Deuteronomy here in just a minute.

But but when the Bible talks about making disciples, he says, talk about these things as you rise up and as you lie down, as you go along the path.

In other words, just in the warp and woof of life, you should catechize your children.

You should indoctrinate them.

There's a horrible word.

Oh my gosh.

You should invite your kids to a biblical worldview, a framework about seeing the world, which will answer a lot of questions for them, and and it'll make a lot of things that are becoming an issue as they get older a non-issue.

I tell my kids, hey, you you gotta have a doctrine of homosexuality.

What you believe about that from the Bible, not from your dad.

And they're like, oh, Dad, okay, okay, is this another moral lesson?

No, this is an opportunity not to get sucked up in nonsense.

I never go to my kids' room and go, hey, little princess, how about some you, me, and Jesus time?

Because my kids would go, where's my dad?

You know, the kind of sarcastic guy that has a brilliant wit.

Where is he?

They don't say that, but they think it.

I see it in their eyes.

I'm just like, oh, oh.

And by the way, I told my oldest, you got to have a theology of your own sexuality.

What?

You want to talk about that?

Not with you.

All right.

I'm just saying, you know, hey, hey, hey, men, here's what I'm I'm getting at us.

Don't relegate all the hard conversations to your wife with your daughters.

There's some conversations you got to have with your kids.

Doctrine, second word is discipline.

There's two ways to think about discipline: punitive and formative.

Your kids think about discipline as this punitive thing.

You're being punished.

The Bible thinks about and and speaks about discipline as a formative thing.

It's not being punished, it's being prepared.

You hear the difference?

Don't just discipline your kids when they do wrong.

Discipline your kids to prepare them to do right.

Does that make sense to anybody but me?

You discipline them.

It's not just punitive, it's formative.

It's not just, hey, you're being punished for doing wrong.

No, I'm preparing you to do what's right.

The Bible says it like this in Hebrews chapter 12, verse 7.

Hebrews 12:7

It says, it is for discipline you have to endure.

Now just hear that first sentence right there.

It is for discipline you have to endure.

God is treating you as sons.

For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?

Again, not just punitive, it's it's formative.

What son is there whom the father does not discipline?

If you are left without discipline in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.

Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them.

Shall we not much more be subject to the father of spirits and live?

For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them.

But he, God, disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness.

For the moment, for the moment, all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant.

But later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Hear that last sentence again.

For the moment, all discipline seems painful.

Look at me, beloved.

The most tempting thing for us to do is to rescue our kids from God's discipline when it gets painful.

And if you rescue your kids from what God is preparing, He's not punishing them, He's preparing them.

If you rescue them, they will not be ready when the time comes.

And they're gonna come running back to you instead of saying, you know what?

I can trust God on this.

He's just treating me like a son or a daughter.

We've all participated in discipline.

But in the end, it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

That's what I mean when I say discipline is not punishment, it's preparation.

Let me give you the third D.

It's just delight.

It's just delight.

I don't want to spend a lot of time on this, but let me just say this: the most unnerving day in your child's life is when they realize that the greatest joy in your life is them.

Let me say that again.

Because I know it sounds crazy in this day and age.

The most unnerving, like, oh, what are you doing?

The most unnerving day in your child's life is when they figure out that the greatest joy in your life is them.

And here's why it's unnerving for them.

They know themselves.

They know themselves.

They know how conniving and bold-faced lying they can be.

Ours was two, and we would put her in timeout in her crib, and we would close the door and we'd hear boom, boom, boom, boom.

And it was her throwing her stuffed animals across the room against the wall.

And then she'd put her stomach on the edge of the crib and just rock back and forth in midair and just scream.

And you'd open the door and go in there, and I'd say, Well, you got a lot of breath, you're still going.

Now, this is not gonna change anything, but if it makes you feel better, like King Kong should rattle the whole thing.

So, y'all see my 18-year-old walking around and go, oh, she's so mature for 18.

I think back to.

And I would say to her, This is a contest of wills, and I'm gonna win.

Or you're gonna run out of breath and pass out or go to sleep.

Either way, mom and dad are here for you.

We love you, but you cannot do what you did.

You're being punished because you did wrong.

Pick me up, daddy, pick me up.

Or when she was little, she called me Baba, and she would go, Bobum, Bobum, Bobum.

And every part of me wanted to rescue her from that.

But I knew she's not gonna be this age the rest of her life.

And so I would say, sweetie, daddy loves you, but I can't pick you up right now because you're being punished for what you did.

And then I say to my wife, hey, here's the thing: I love our kids, but they're sinners.

Say that in Fort Bend County at Chick-fil-A.

In the playground where the woman's got her kid in there that's six feet tall, and the line says, You gotta be this tall.

See, I was the dad that threw all those kids out.

Open the door.

Get out.

Get out.

You're in the seventh grade, get out of here.

You got hair under your arms, get out of here.

And the parents would come in there, who kicked my son out?

I did.

Because you're a lazy parent.

That's why I kicked him out.

You hear, you pawned your kid off on the society so you could visit and have chicken nuggets with your girlfriend.

Be, don't be so lazy, ma'am.

Yes, I said that.

Right up here at the Chick-fil-A at Greatwood.

And somebody's grandma walked over to me and said, What's your name?

And I thought, I'm about to fight an old woman right here.

And she started crying.

And she said, Thank you for standing up for what's right.

I know it gets lonely sometime, but that was the right thing.

And I wanted to cry.

I just like, here, just hold me, grandma, just for a minute.

Because we're lazy.

I mean, the sign on the door says, you know, hey, if you're above this line, you can't play in here.

Kid foot taller than that.

Running up the slide backwards.

I reached up in the slide and got him by the leg and just drug him out and threw him down.

Hey, get out here.

You're too big.

Who are you?

I'm the man that's gonna make you leave because I got little kids in here.

They're supposed to be in here.

You're not.

So I took him over, opened the door.

Whose kid is this?

All of a sudden, oh, oh, oh my gosh, what's happening?

You're lazy is what's happening.

I'm not abusive.

You're lazy.

I wish I could see your face as y'all are.

Does your wife know you do these kind of things?

Yes.

And my kids, because sometimes they're with me.

I'm just like, hey, what in the world?

Oh, delight.

Hey, your kids, and I'm not saying, let me be clear.

If you're visiting today, you're gonna be like, oh my gosh, how do y'all endure this every week?

Hey, you cannot parent or live just for today.

If you're parenting or living just for today, you're short-sighted.

It's a long obedience in the same direction.

When I say the most unnerving day in your child's lives when they realize that the only thing you enjoy is them, because the message it sends to them is I'm not saying don't enjoy your kids, enjoy your kids, enjoy your grandkids.

Teach both generations that there are things in life more enjoyable than them because it gives them something to look forward to.

Don't stop living just when your first grandchild is born.

And then think, oh man, I'm gonna be wherever that kid is, we're just gonna follow them around.

Someone asked me, literally, hey, hey, do you think you guys might move to Waco because Masson's going to Baylor?

Why would I want to do that?

I love my children.

I'd do anything for them, but no, here's I don't want to, I don't want to follow her, and she doesn't want me to follow her.

All this went to my mind and nano second.

I said, No, I've prepared my children to enter life without me.

Why should I chase them around?

Have you not prepared yours?

What are we doing, mom and dad?

What in God's name are we doing?

Your kids, I mean, there's a reason Jesus says in Matthew 10, whoever loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

It's unnerving because your kids, they sense idolatry long before you do.

Second point in the sermon is just, hey, there's there's a command.

And then secondly, there's the promise.

He says in verse 12, honor your father and mother.

That's the command.

Here's the promise that your days may be long in the land the Lord your God has given you.

One thing on display in these few words is how God thinks about his people.

Let me say that.

See, you've got to have a view.

Don't just parent right here in the moment.

Don't just think I gotta honor my mom and dad when we go to their house for Thanksgiving or for Christmas, or I gotta just suck it up and fake it till I make it.

No.

No, it's sometimes you can't honor the person because of sinful things that they've done.

But you honor the position.

What do you mean?

One thing that's on display in these few words is how God thinks about his people.

Here's what I mean: God thinks of you and I in terms of protracted goodness.

Here's one of the questions you ought to ask yourself before you go to bed tonight.

How do I think about God?

That's a question you ask your kids.

If you want to get an interesting discussion going, ask your kids.

I don't care if they're four or forty-four.

Hey son, how do you think about God these days?

What do you think about?

What do you, I mean, just when you think, well, I don't think about God.

Well, when you do think, what do you think?

Because one of the things the Bible all throughout is it kind of goes on record as saying, God said, This is how I think about you, and it's in terms of this protracted goodness.

It seems like a lot of fuss over doing one thing.

Augustine, the the the the church father said this.

He said, if anyone fails to honor his parents, is there anyone he will spare?

And the answer is no.

No.

Living long in the land, by the way, this is not about time.

It's not about, oh, if you honor your father and mother, you're gonna live until you're 96.

No.

The Bible is not restricted and constricted to this sense of time like we are.

It says live long in the land, it's about living with the fullness of God's blessing on your life.

Now, I don't back away from what the Bible says.

Hey, you know, you there's a consequence to doing what God says to honoring your father and mother, because especially when it's hard to respect the person and you respect the position, you're requiring something of your parents.

And they just, they're ashamed of themselves and they're like, I don't even want to give that.

You keep respecting the position because you're saying, hey, be heavy, be the right kind of man or woman, not just for me, but for the generations to come.

Say, what do you mean that God thinks of us with terms of this protracted goodness?

Let me just close this morning by reading from Deuteronomy chapter six.

I didn't give this to the guys for the outline, but just let this wash over you this morning and just think about this sense of protracted goodness, that God's not just bound to the now, he's standing out there in the then, and he's like a third base coach.

He's just kind of, you know, when you're on second base and somebody hits a Texas leaguer up the middle, you're you're kind of running to third, and the coach is doing this right here.

What he's saying is, come on, man, come on, I want you to score.

And when I talk about protracted goodness, don't think God kind of holding something out in front of you like a donkey in a carriage.

Think of the third base coach.

And the more he's the further he sees the ball go into the fence, the more excited he gets.

He's like, come on, come on! When you read the Bible, that's what God's like.

He's big, cracking them big windmill arms of grace.

Come on! Come on, you won't believe what I got for you up there.

And we're standing back there in about two-foot circle, kind of going, but this is so good.

And God's like, What?

The Bible says it like this in Deuteronomy chapter 6, verse 1.

Deuteronomy 6:1

Now, this is the commandment, the statutes and the rules that the Lord your God commanded me to teach you.

That you may do them in the land to which you are going over to possess.

That you may fear the Lord your God, you and your son and your son's son, by keeping all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you all the days of your life.

You never get so old that you've obeyed enough.

All the days of your life, and that your days may be long.

Hear therefore, O Israel, and be careful to do them, that it may go well with you, and that you may multiply greatly, as the Lord the God of your fathers has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey.

Hear, O Israel, the Lord your God, the Lord is one.

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your might.

And these words I command you today shall be on your heart.

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise, and when you're in the drive-thru line at Chick-fil-A, and both lines are backed up, and it's taking longer than your kids have patience for.

You talk about it then.

If the only time you talk about it is here in this building on this day, your kids don't believe that you believe it.

You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontless between your eyes.

You shall write them on the doorpost of your house and on your gates, and when, not if, and when, and when the Lord your God brings you into the land, he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob to give you with great and good cities that you did not build, and houses full of good things that you did not feel, and cisterns that you did not dig, and vineyards and olive trees you did not plant.

And when you eat and are full, then take care lest you forget the Lord, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.

It is the Lord your God you shall fear, him you shall serve, and by his name you shall swear.

You shall not go after other gods, the gods of the peoples who are around you, for the Lord your God is in the midst, in your midst as a jealous God, lest the anger of the Lord be kin your God be kindled against you, and he destroy you from off the face of the earth.

You shall not put the Lord your God to the test, as you tested him at Massah, when you when you saw you shall diligently keep the commands of the Lord your God and his testimonies and his statutes, which he commanded you, and you shall do what is right and good in the sight of the Lord.

Why?

That it may go well with you, and that you may go in and take possession of the good land that the Lord swore to give to your fathers by thrusting out all the enemies from before you as the Lord has promised.

And it shall.

Why?

Because God promised.

And so when I say to you that God relates to you in terms of protracted goodness, as good as it is right now, God's not done.

He's still kind of cranking his big arms and calling you forward to say, Hey, there's I hey, I'm relating to you right now with more goodness than you can imagine, and we're about to show it to you all at once, your mind would just snap.

And if you're 10, I'm talking to you right now.

Because if you don't believe that as a 10-year-old little boy, it's gonna be hard to believe when you're 16.

But if you can get it in your head when you're 10, that man, God's got so much good stuff in store for me.

I don't want to miss out on that.

How do I miss out on that?

You miss out on that by not trusting God and trusting yourself.

You teach your kids to miss out on that and trust themselves when you worship them and idolize them, and you you parent according to their appetites instead of according to your understanding.

You're preparing your kids to miss out.

It's the insecure parent way of saying, trust me.

Trust your mom.

I'm gonna always be here for you.

Trust your dad.

I've got a good job, son.

I'll get you whatever you want.

You want to raise your kids to love you and trust you, but ultimately you want them to trust God and love God and say, man, God, you want, don't you want your 10-year-old to go to school on Tuesday?

They say, What'd you do this weekend?

Well, I thought about God's protracted goodness towards me.

Okay.

Thank you, Johnny.

Have a seat.

Speaking of Johnny's, and I'll end on this.

If you're not careful, you're gonna raise Johnny Manzel.

That's a gifted man that's gonna destroy himself.

His own dad came out.

Well, I'm concerned he's gonna make it to his next birthday.

Let me tell you something.

Mr.

Manzel, get out from in front of a camera, get in your truck, and go get your kid.

Go get your kid.

Before he slaps another woman, go get your kid.

Scuff him up if you have to, like a pair of hushed puppies in a school dance.

And look at the camera and say, I'll handle my business.

He's 20-something, but he's still my son, and I'm still his father.

But see, when you build your life around your kid because he's a gifted athlete, don't be surprised when he acts like the rules don't apply to him.

Hey, where you are, and I'm done.

Where you are is good.

Where God's calling you to is better.

Let's pray together.

If you're a guest today, we'd like to just teach the Bible and just take a few moments to think about it.

Just to ask, okay, God, what what kind of provoked me?

When I heard it, my spirit kind of leapt up, like, ooh, yeah, that's good, or ooh, that's kind of convicting.

Don't be afraid of that.

Don't be afraid of that.

One of the greatest gifts God's give God gives us is conviction.

So we like to just take a couple minutes and just kind of be still and listen.

Clyde may play, you may sing something over you, whatever, but you just be sitting there, just kind of mulling over in your spirit.

The Lord, would you say to me?

It's never too old to be heavy in your kids' life, to have a heavy posture, not a heavy hand, not to be all about volume, but to be about consequence.

Let's just kind of sit before the Lord and ask him, Hey, what do what do I walk out of here with today?

Father, I pray that we would uh, as hard as that may be, that we would learn to be kind to ourselves.

That we would say to our mom and dad, hey, don't don't don't stop telling me the truth.

Even if I melt down.

Just love me enough to keep telling me the truth.

Uh man, I don't like it sometimes.

But keep telling me.

And that and that that goes both ways for us parents.

We got parents that we need to say that to, and we got kids that need to say it to us.

And so, Holy Spirit, uh, lead us into what has our name on it and let everything else fall to the ground today.

We pray in Jesus' name.

And everyone said, Amen.

Uh, I have a confession.

I cried this week having lunch with my wife uh because I uh I was read right before I came to the to the table to have lunch.

I was reading an email from a man in our church who had a big interview and I just had emailed him and said, Hey, how'd it go?

And I've been praying for you.

It's a great opportunity in his company, and blah, blah, blah.

And I was just thinking, well, yeah, this is great.

They're here now, but they're gonna move to where this job is.

And he wrote me back and said, You know what?

It went great.

I think I could do it, blah, blah, blah.

Got driving home, and I just thought, I'm not gonna have enough time for my kids if I take this job.

And my wife's like, Are you okay?

And I'm like, No.

And I'm I'm reading, she didn't know what I'm reading.

Uh and here's what made me cry about that.

I I can't remember the last time I knew a man that said no to a job to say yes to his family.

I promise you, your kids aren't gonna, when they get to age, they're not gonna care how big their bedroom is.

What they're gonna care about was my was my dad in my life?

Or was my dad always at work?

Uh and she's like, Are you okay?

I'm like, stop asking me that woman it's not hard, mom and dad, but we have to make the choice.

We have to make that choice.

Just to, hey, what's gonna be my priority in my life?

Hold your hands out.

The land you are living in right now is good.

The land God is calling you to is better.

Depart now and live as if you believe that and you trust him.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Amen.

Bless you dismiss.