Instructions of a Father

We are going to begin with the reading of the scripture. It is found in Proverbs

Proverbs 4:1–9

chapter 4, verses 1 through 9, if you want to follow along with your Bibles.

Listen, my sons, to a father's instructions. Pay attention and gain understanding.

I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching.

For too, I was a son to my father, still tender and cherished by my mother.

Then he taught me, and he said to me, Take hold of my words with all of your

heart. Keep my commands, and you will live.

Get wisdom, get understanding. Do not forget my words or turn away from them.

Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you.

Love her, and she will watch over you. The beginning of wisdom is this.

Get wisdom, though it costs you all you have. Get understanding.

Cherish her, and she will exalt you. Embrace her, and she will honor you.

She will give you a garland to grace your head and present you with a glorious cross.

We all need a relationship with our father. A little boy sat frustrated and near tears.

He was trying to build a toy wagon, but he just couldn't get the wheels to go on.

His dad came along, took the wagon and the four wheels, and in no time at all

had it rolling along smoothly.

The boy was grateful for the loving and helpful touch his father added to his

life, though that little boy

is now no longer a child. He still remembers his father's help that day.

It's been said that any kind of man can be a father, but it takes a special kind of man to be a dad.

The idea of father does more than simply have a part in the procreation of a child.

He helps to mold the child throughout his or her growing years through generous

amounts of love, guidance, correction, forgiveness, and praise.

Fortunate are those who have had more than a biological father,

who have had a father with whom they had such a personal relationship.

I trust and pray that I was that to my daughters.

Whether or not this has been the case for you, this much is for certain.

We can all experience the ultimate father-child relationship when we experience

God as our heavenly father, and we talk about this, and we pray to our heavenly

father, but do we really have a concept of what that means?

God wants to be more than just a biological father. He wants to be more than

somebody who created us and brought us into this world.

He wants to raise us up, to educate us, to train us in his wisdom.

He uses a home and earthly fathers and mothers as his schools and teachers.

Wisdom is not a natural acquisition.

It's not like you can go and get wisdom at school.

In fact, sometimes when you look at the students in the school,

you wonder if there's any wisdom in this world at all anymore.

Wisdom must be learned precept by precept. It takes commitment to either teach

or learn wisdom because it's found from rigorous pursuit.

Parents must have this commitment to transfer wisdom to their children.

One of the greatest responsibilities of parenting is to encourage your children

to pursue wisdom and instruct your children in wisdom in a world prone to foolishness and debauchery.

If you don't think that's true, just look around you at what's happening in this world today.

Therefore, parents must make a commitment to encourage and instruct their children

in wisdom. Solomon uses his childhood

as an example of the importance of introducing wisdom to children.

What did Solomon ask when he became the king of the Israelite people?

He prayed and asked God for the wisdom to lead these great people of his.

God has a specific plan designed for each child.

To find and follow this plan, children must acquire and apply godly wisdom.

And godly wisdom is not something that's just bestowed on you.

It's something that you acquire over a time. As the writer of the Proverbs said, get wisdom.

So we're going to be looking at three things this morning.

Listen to take hold, acquire wisdom and understanding, and wisdom exalts and honors.

The first one we see is listen and take hold.

This is part of those verses that we read. Verse 1 calls on sons to gain insight

from the instruction of their fathers.

Now, the title of the message is The Instructions of a Father. So what is that about?

Well, this father was giving instruction to his son on how to gain wisdom.

He says, listen, my sons, to a father's instruction.

Pay attention and gain understanding.

Now, how many times have we heard this from our earthly fathers?

Pay attention, son.

I know there was one thing that I promised I was never going to do and never

going to say when I have had children.

And well, actually, I didn't. Nancy had them. But anyway, you know how that

works. I don't have to explain it.

But I said, I'm never going to answer my children with because I said so.

Guess what? Because I said so. Instead, my goal was to be instructing them in

how they should do, and when there was something that wasn't right,

to explain why it wasn't right.

When I had to punish them for something, I was going to explain to them what

I was punishing them for and why.

Well, that happens some, but not as much as I wish it would have.

He goes on to say, I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching.

My dad gave me some real sound learning too, usually on the backside.

For I too was a son of my father, still tender and cherished by my mother.

Then he taught me and he said to me, take hold of my words with all your heart,

keep my commands, and you will live.

This is a father speaking to his sons, telling about his father,

and the things that his father had said to him.

And he said, his father said, take hold of my words with all your heart,

keep my commands, and you will live.

Again, it sounds kind of like Bill Cosby when he was talking about his children,

when he said, I brought you into this world, and I certainly can take you out.

So we kind of think about this as a father. I don't think that's what the father

meant in this case, but he understood that he wanted his children to keep the

commands that he gave to them. Why?

Why would a father want his children to listen and take hold of all that he taught?

Well, it's like when we tell our kids, don't touch the hot stove or don't touch the stove at all.

Why do we do that? Because we're a mean ogre of a dad.

It's because we don't know when that stove might still be hot.

And so we instruct our kids, don't touch the stove because you don't want to be burned.

Even a teacher of wisdom needs to manifest fatherly love toward his children,

toward those who heed his instructions, so that he might direct them as a father does with a child.

The design and aim of a father's instruction is that his son might wake up and

get to know understanding.

Parents need to teach their young children good listening habits.

Children who are able to practice purposeful listening have a distinct advantage

when starting school where the day is filled with the need for listening.

Start teaching them listening skills. Give them instructions and increase their

complexity and see how your child follows through.

Tell them what to do, not one step at a time, but starting with one step and

then stretch it to two steps, then stretch it to three, and see if they listen

through this process and follow through on what they're supposed to do.

Please go to your room, put on your pajamas and slippers, put your dirty clothes

in the hamper, brush your teeth, and bring out one of your favorite story books

to daddy. Which one do you think the kids here were first?

Bring out the storybooks to your father so he can read to you.

Was that the instruction?

No, it was all of the above, starting with the first one of going to your room,

putting on your pajamas, brushing your teeth, putting your dirty clothes in the hamper.

And then when you're done with all of those things, bring a storybook to your

dad and he'll read to you.

Once a child learns to pay attention to a sequence of expected actions,

they can gain understanding. What's true for children is also true for adults.

We must pay attention if we are to gain understanding.

We are to pay attention to everything that the Word of God tells us and to pay

attention and heed the warnings that are in there as well as the admonitions

and the opportunities for growth.

Verse 2 says that We must pay attention to our Father's sound teaching.

I give you sound teaching, so do not forsake my teaching.

Now, there are teachings that should not be listened to.

There are many evil, deceitful, and careless teachings and teachers in the world today.

A father's teaching of his children should not be that way, but they should be sound lessons.

Far too many children today receive no sound teaching because either they have

no father in their home or their father is too busy or disinterested.

There was a time in our life, and I've shared this with you before,

I believe, when I was working at Deaconess Hospital in Oklahoma City,

and we lived out away from the hospital, about 10, 15 minutes drive.

And therefore, for a while, there was so much going on at work that I would

get up and leave before the two girls got up for school, and I would come home

at night after they were already in bed.

I missed out on some really good adventures with my kids.

Because I was too busy to pay attention to them and their need for a father.

It's vital that children have fathers. In 1988, it was reported there were 5.6

million children in America under the age of 18 growing up without fathers.

In 2021, so that would be 33 years later,

that number had increased from 5.6 million children without fathers to 20 million

children growing up without fathers in their home.

Divorce, no matter how amicable, leaves children without fatherly instruction.

Two years later, the average divorced dad has little or no contact with his children.

It's not the mom and dad that suffer in divorce, it's the kids.

It's staggering to think that three-fourths of all children of divorce have

contact with their father fewer than two days a month.

The 20 million fatherless children do not include those whose fathers are emotionally

or mentally absent from their homes and children.

By the way, I want to back up to thinking of those children who do not have

a father figure in their home more than two days a month. We have somebody coming next week.

His name is Darren Anderson. and he's a pastor at a church in Michigan,

but he's the agent for the two singers, musicians that are coming.

Darren is divorced. His wife left him, but she didn't want her children.

So Darren is a single father who's raised his two daughters who are now teenage

years, and his oldest daughter is, I believe, going to be a senior in high school this year.

That doesn't happen very often But Darren has given his heart and his life For

his daughters And I commend him for that In 1940,

3.8% of all births in America Were to unmarried mothers By 2023,

that number had risen from 3.8% to 40% were born to unmarried mothers,

and that doesn't even include the births that were aborted.

Unwed pregnancy, unmarried teen births have cost the public more than $25 billion a year.

Gangs have stepped in to fill the void left by no fathers in the home.

These gangs become the family of the children without fathers.

In a few weeks, in the middle of July, we're going to, well,

at the end of July, July 31st,

Door of Hope, which is a pregnancy agency in Viroqua,

is having a corn boil, and I'm going to invite you guys to

go join with me as we go out there to celebrate and help this organization as

they raise funds for their continued ministry in helping unwed mothers in their

pregnancies and to minister to people who are in need in that way.

But we'll give more on that to you.

But it's vital that we teach our children. It's vital that you teach them the

Word of God and model for them how it's lived out within the home.

They must see you trust God's promises and base your decisions and morality upon the Scripture.

Verse 3 in this passage is the teacher's personal testimony.

He says, For I too was a son to my father, still tender and cherished by my mother.

The implication of the verse may be that after the early training received from

his mother, the father is to become the child's primary instructor.

Solomon describes the early teaching he received from his father David as that

which caused him to seek wisdom instead of folly.

And he, as I said, that he sought wisdom from God to lead the people that God had given him.

Solomon knew from experience what it was like to have a father who cared.

When he was young and tender, his father had taken the time to instruct him

in matters of wisdom and right living.

Unfortunately, that's not happening in too many homes today.

In his book, The Bad Difference, Josh McDowell reveals that there seems to be a parenting gap.

These statistics are from his book. It says, the average teen in our churches

today spends only two minutes a day in meaningful dialogue with a dad.

25% of these teens say they have never had a meaningful conversation with their

father, a talk centered on their teen's interests.

Solomon listened and learned from his father, David, took the initiative and

instructed him as a child.

What does it take? What does taking the initiative mean for dads today?

It means playing games with them, doing projects with them, teaching them what

needs to be done around the house, taking them places, hugging them, talking with them.

As a dad does these things, he opens lines of communication.

He creates teachable moments when he can instruct his children about values, people, life, and God.

I know Andrew has been taught many of the things on the farm,

what needs to be done, how to drive a tractor, how to do the work in the field. Anna has well.

But we understand that this is part of father's duty in helping a child grow

and learn. Children need a dad's instruction.

Let's take the time to give them something worth listening to.

Verse 4 says this, Then he taught me, and he said to me, Take hold of my words

with all your heart, Keep my commandments and you will live,

Some children don't like to hear their dad say Now back when I was a boy.

But they might learn a lot if they paid attention and listened.

Back when I was a boy, we had to get up from the couch, walk through shag carpeting,

over to the television, and turn the dial.

Such horror, wasn't it?

Solomon had learned wisdom from his father, and now he's passing it on to the

next generation. This passing on of lessons learned is the primary way God has

ordained for his truth to be preserved and invested from one generation to another.

Deuteronomy 6, verses 6 through 9 is often repeated in church.

Deuteronomy 6:6–9

It says this, These commandments that I give to you today are to be on your hearts.

Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when

you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.

Write them on the door frames of your house and on your gates.

We are to give these instructions of the Lord to our children at all times in everything we do.

I think we would do well if we were repeated often. Ephesians chapter 6,

Ephesians 6:1

verses 1 and 4 says, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise,

so that it may go well with you and you may enjoy long life on the earth. Remember that, Andrew.

Fathers, do not exasperate your children.

Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

2 Timothy 1, verses 3 and 5, chapter 2, verse 2, chapter 3, verse 14 and 17. Here's what it says.

2 Timothy 1:3

I thank God whom I serve as my ancestors did with a clear conscience as night

and day I constantly remember you in your prayers.

This is Paul speaking to Timothy as a father to a son, even though there was

no blood relationship. He says,

recalling your tears, I long to see you so that I may be filled with joy.

I'm reminded of your sincere faith with first lived in your grandmother Lois

and in your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded now lives in you as well.

And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses,

entrust to a reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others.

And then he goes on to say, all scripture is God-breathed and is useful for

teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness.

One of the greatest responsibilities in being a parent is to encourage our children to become wise.

Not wise acres, but wise. Here, Solomon tells how his father David encouraged

him to seek wisdom when he was young, tender, and receptive to instruction.

This encouragement may have prompted Solomon to ask God for a discerning heart

over everything else when I said this before, he asked God to give him the wisdom

to lead these great people of his.

Ultimately, of course, godly wisdom comes from God.

Parents can only urge their children to turn to Christ.

If your parents never taught you in this way, God's word can function as a loving

and compassionate mother or father to you. You can learn from the scriptures

and then create a legacy of wisdom for your children.

In Hebrew language, the words translated hold fast means to grasp or lay hold

of or to seize or to hold firmly.

Don't let it go. The way by which we gain wisdom is by holding fast to God's

word, learning from what we have seen and what we've done so we can apply that in our lives.

That's what wisdom is, knowing the correct use of the knowledge that God gives us.

The object of wisdom is that we might become a partaker in life,

and there's a life in keeping God's commandments.

The next instruction that was given here is to acquire wisdom and understanding.

The exhortation of a loving father now gets specific.

So I want you to listen to the words from verse number three.

It says, get wisdom, get understanding, do not forget, nor turn away from the

words of my mouth. Listen up, son.

Isn't that kind of what it's saying? Listen up. Hear what I've got to say.

Get wisdom and get understanding.

Those aren't passive and active statements.

They are imperatives. Son, you must do this.

We are to get it or acquire it. That means we are to pray for it,

taking pains and striving for it.

We must diligently practice using and expanding what we have.

We need to put aside foolishness and pursue wise instructions and principles and habits.

If you want wisdom, you have to go after it. You have to make this decision.

It doesn't just drop in your lap. You don't just go kneel down on the ground

and say, Lord, give me wisdom and get up and walk away and say, I've got it. I'm wise.

Doesn't happen that way. Just same way as doesn't happen with patience.

You can get down on your knees, pray for patience, get up and walk away and

say, now I have patience.

I'm sorry, that's not going to happen. What God does is when you pray for patience,

he gives you something to be patient about.

When we pray for wisdom, he puts circumstances in our lives in which we learn wisdom in wise ways.

It's not a once-in-a-lifetime step, but a daily process of choosing between

two paths, the right and the wrong.

Verse 6 begins enumerating what wisdom returns to those who pursue it.

It says, do not forsake her, speaking of wisdom, and she will guard you.

Love her, and she will watch over you.

Now, I'm not sure why wisdom was put as a feminine gender, but we're not going there.

Actually, I do know because there was a goddess of wisdom named Sophia.

And actually, that means get wisdom.

The obvious teaching is that wisdom and the way of wisdom can be forsaken,

but if you continually follow her, she will be your guard and guide through

all the dangers and difficulties of life's journey.

Those who have obtained wisdom need to be cautious that they don't lose it and return to foolishness.

We see from scriptures and history that by taking on 700 wives and 300 concubines

of different peoples, Solomon took on their gods as well.

And by doing that, he caused the eventual tearing apart and violent division

of not just his house, but his entire nation.

So when Solomon prayed for wisdom—.

Maybe he didn't pray hard enough. Not that it was right or wrong.

Well, we would say today it's wrong to have 700 wives and 300 concubines.

But the fact that he took on wives of other nations, of other faiths,

of other religions, and began to worship their gods, that was the part that was not wise.

Love wisdom and cleave to her, and she will keep you from sin and evil and enemies.

They say keep your shop working right and your shop will keep you,

keep your wisdom and it will keep you it will guard you from stumbling blocks

and lead you on the straight and narrow path of abundant life and Nancy would

say it would be wise not to play softball when you're 67 years old.

Now wait a minute that's not in here David's words may well be the reason Solomon

asked God for wisdom The repetition of the word acquire is for intensity.

The beginning of wisdom is acquire wisdom, and with all your acquiring, get understanding.

So many people are just out to enjoy life, but end up pursuing a life that's the death of them.

Again, godly wisdom is to be our principal endeavor. Other things that we seek

to get and keep are nothing compared to wisdom.

And then the father tells his son to treat wisdom the way they would treat their

mother, sister, or wife.

Love her, honor her, embrace her, exalt her.

Wisdom exalts and honors. There's a bumper sticker that asks,

have you hugged your children today?

Might better say, have you hugged wisdom today? Have you embraced it?

Have you acknowledged it? have you grabbed it? In Proverbs, wisdom is personified

as a beautiful woman who invites us to her lavish banquet, while folly is the

adulteress or the prostitute who tempts us to poverty and death.

The one you love is the one who will control your life.

Embrace wisdom, and you'll have security, honor, and beauty,

according to the scriptures.

Wisdom bestows honor and significance to those who possess it.

Verse 8 says this, prize wisdom, prize her, and she will exalt you.

She will honor you if you embrace her.

Put effort and strength behind your pursuit of wisdom, and she will exalt you.

Wisdom exalts her pursuers, honors her lovers, and gives a woman or a man favor,

causing them to be admired.

Part of wisdom is being teachable. You can't gain wisdom if you aren't teachable.

You can learn knowledge, but you can't gain wisdom unless you allow that knowledge

to be instilled in you to give you wisdom and you're teachable.

The famous basketball coach John Wooden said, what counts is what you learn

after you know everything.

That's because the more you learn, the less you think you have to learn.

And what John Wooden was saying is, the more you learn, the more you have to learn.

You have to keep learning and going on and on and on. And how do you apply what you've learned?

Another part of wisdom is to never stay satisfied with your current accomplishments.

Once you think you've arrived, you'll find out that the goalposts have moved.

Successful people don't sit back and rest on their laurels. They know that wins,

like losses, are only temporary.

They understand that they must keep growing if they want to stay productive.

Another part of wisdom is to become a continual learner. A university study

found that almost one-third of all physicians were so busy working in their

practice that they were two years behind in the latest development in how to be a doctor.

If you want to be a continual learner, you must carve out time to do it.

Henry Ford said, it's been my observation that successful people get ahead during

the time other people waste.

Carry your Bible with you. Sometimes it's as easy as having an app on your phone.

But to just carry the Bible doesn't make it.

You've got to open it up and read it and see as ever an opportunity to keep growing.

The secret to becoming a learner is to learn something new every day.

Learning is something that we have to do all the time.

If we don't, we're going to fall behind.

Scripture says, get understanding.

Exalt her and she will exalt you. All great enterprises begin at a critical

moment, a moment when a decision is made and someone launches himself into a

never-to-be-forgotten enterprise.

Pizarro, the noted Spanish explorer, faced such a moment.

He languished with his men on a small island, awaiting new supplies before moving on to Peru.

When the supply ships arrived, they brought a message that he should abandon

his expedition, considered by the governor to be foolhardy, and returned to Panama.

Pizarro assembled his men on the beach. He drew his sword and made a line from

east to west in the sand, and then turning to the south, he said,

friends and comrades, on that side are toil, hunger, nakedness, the drenching storm,

desertion, and death, but on this side ease and pleasure.

There lies Peru with all its riches. Here, Panama, and all its poverty.

Choose each man what best becomes a brave Castilian.

For my part, I'm going that way, to Peru.

And as he said that he stepped across the line, the pilot of his ship was first

to respond, then 12 other men stepped across to join the leader and the pilot.

And Pizarro, the famous historian, says he was a man who was more accustomed to act than to talk.

There was another time in this, in the time of Joshua, when he called the people

together and he said, choose this day whom you will serve.

Choose either God or yourselves. as for me and my house, we will choose the Lord.

Solomon learned the lesson well. When God appeared to New King to fulfill his

request, he chose wisdom above anything else.

I wonder if we should, too. Let's pray.

Heavenly Father, as we close this service on Men of God Day,

we know that there are many men here who love you and serve you well,

and we thank you and we honor them.

But, Father, we want to be more of a man than we've ever been.

We want to gain and achieve and hold on to your instructions.

In Jesus' name, amen.