Advent is a Time to Value Relationships

The whole purpose of the Advent season is to prepare for the coming of God's Son.

That's what Advent means. It's the opening, the opening of the coming of His Son.

It really should be a time of joy and excitement, though.

For some reason, many of us, however, are struggling with humbug feelings during the holidays.

I have spoken with another pastor who really does not like the Christmas season,

would really rather just skip the whole thing.

One, because it's a busy time. And two, he says, you know, there's really no

Christmas date in our calendar.

And really, the emphasis of the scripture is not about his birth,

but about his death and resurrection, as we sang about. and so he kind of has

this humbug spirit about the Christmas season.

I told him he should look for a different profession.

There seem to be added stresses, pressures, hurts, and frustrations.

Holidays seem to magnify what is for better or for worse in everyone.

Psychologists tell us that Christmas is a time of intensified depression,

conflict, and loneliness.

Even though it's supposed to be a time of family gatherings,

all too often our family reunions turn into family rebellions.

Jingle bells drowns out the cry of the baby in a manger.

The message of God's Son is lost to parents whose children have grown and moved

on, leaving the parents far behind.

The story of Joseph's support of Mary doesn't make sense to the women and men

whose spouses have left them, whether by death or by desertion.

Like a biting winter wind, this most wonderful time of the year is anything

but wonderful for many people.

Years ago, late one Christmas day, a resident of the posh community of Hillsboro,

California, accompanied by his wife and kids, set out to sing.

Thank you, set out to sing Christmas carols for the neighbors.

As they were tuning up outside their first stop, the lady of the house came

to the door looking really distraught.

She says, look, fella, I'm too busy.

The plumbing is on the blink. I can't get anyone to fix it. And there's a mob coming for dinner.

If you really feel like singing carols, sing them someplace else.

Yes, ma'am, replied Bing Crosby respectfully as he took his family and began to sing elsewhere.

In a Peanuts cartoon, Lucy says to Snoopy, there are times when you really bug

me, but I also admit that there are times when I feel like giving you a hug.

Snoopy replies, that's the way I am, huggable and buggable.

This is the situation that many of us find ourselves in when spending time with

relatives at Christmas.

Interpersonal relationships at Christmas are good reminders that relationships

are more important than accomplishments.

Rick and Judy Armstrong had a hectic holiday schedule, juggling careers,

teenagers shopping, and all the required doings of the season.

Realizing that she would be short of time, Judy had the stationer print their

signature on their Christmas cards instead of signing each one.

Soon they started getting cards from friends signed the modest Morrisons,

the clever Clarks, the successful Smiths.

Then she discovered to her horror the stationer's subtle mistake.

She had mailed out a hundred cards neatly imprinted with Happy Holidays from the Rich Armstrongs.

I'm sure they laughed their way through the mistake, but sometimes during this

time of the season, when things do go wrong, it's easy to throw up our hands and say, what's the use?

Why am I going through this? Let's just shut down for the season.

It seems to be too much for us.

Hebrew, or excuse me, Matthew chapter 1, verses 18 through 25.

Matthew 1:18–25

Give us the birth of Jesus as viewed by Joseph, and we're going to listen as

that is read at this time.

Matthew 1, 18-25, Joseph accepts Jesus as his son.

This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about.

His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together,

she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit.

Because Joseph, her husband, was faithful to the law and yet did not want to

expose her to public disgrace, he had in his mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a

dream and said, Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as

your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.

She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus,

because he will save his people from their sins.

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet, it.

The virgin will conceive and give

birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel, which means God with us.

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him,

and took Mary home as his wife.

But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son,

and he gave him the name Jesus.

There were special qualities demonstrated by Joseph and Mary that qualified

them to be chosen by God to be parents of the Messiah.

Joseph valued his relationship with both God and his family.

The same qualities we see in the life of Joseph are also the qualities of each

of us that we need to possess.

First is Joseph was selfless in his relationships.

Verse 19 says, Joseph was determined to take care of things quietly so Mary would not be disgraced.

He was concerned about her and what people would think of her in the community.

Joseph, with his character quality of selflessness, would be the kind of person

who you would enjoy being around.

Joseph is the kind of person you would enjoy having as a trusted friend.

Christmas is a time to value friendships.

The joyful atmosphere of Christmas is a great way and a great time to reach

out and touch friends and relatives, and yet oftentimes we are so busy in what

we're doing that we don't think about being.

The Apostle Paul wrote to Philemon, a friend, to tell him how much he valued his friendship.

He said in verses 4 through 7 of Philemon, this is found in the New Living Translation,

I always thank God when I pray for you because I keep hearing of your trust

in the Lord Jesus and your love for all of God's people.

You are generous because of your faith.

I myself have gained much joy and comfort from your love, my brother,

because your kindness has so often refreshed the hearts of God's people.

Philemon was highly valued by Paul.

Paul commended him for his trust, love, generosity, and his kindness.

Philemon was a refreshing person to be around, and Paul told him so. The question is.

Are you a refreshing person to be around? If you're a selfless person,

people enjoy being around you.

If you are a selfish person, people would rather stay away.

If you are a constant complainer and a very draining person,

you won't refresh people.

You will deplete them emotionally.

How does that happen? Doesn't that happen often to us? We find people that just drain us, don't they?

In Window Ladders and Bridges, Dr. A. Dudley Dennison Jr.

Writes, I believe in God's master plan for the interaction of lives.

He moves people in and out of each other's lives, and each leaves his mark on the other.

You find you are made up of bits and pieces of everyone who ever touched your

life. You are more because of it,

and you would be less if they had not touched you. Let me ask you this.

Are you leaving impressions on other people's lives, and what kind of impressions are you leaving?

Christmas is a natural time to think about past and present relationships.

Is there someone in your life with whom you could touch base through a personal

contact, a letter, a phone call, or email.

Each Christmas, we send out more than 100 Christmas cards and letters to family

and friends and church people of the past.

And it's just, it's once a year that we touch people. It's like,

man, we should be doing this every day.

I'm not going to send you cards every day, just so you know.

I do not need to personally keep the post office in business.

But anyway, just so you know, true friendship is something that money can't buy.

Great gifts can only go so far in developing friendships and relationships of values.

They may bring a moment of happiness, but the feeling is only temporary and will not last.

The Sunday morning greeting when we have here is not friendship.

I mean, it is, but it isn't.

Our relationship, our friendship should extend all week long.

Like we do in our families. The Robb report

suggests that an ultimate gift guide of a blowout weekend stay for up to 10

people at the 30,000 square foot Successions Easterner Castle in England starts

at 150,000 and includes a black tie dinner,

lodging, and use of the estate's Land Rovers to travel around the 66 miles of road on the property.

Travel to and from, however, is not included.

How many of you are willing to sign up to go on a trip with me like that?

Oh, sure, Pastor, as long as you pay for it.

Not extravagant enough for you? Then spend a weekend at the Ritz-Carlton Laguna

de Gale Hotel in Southern California coast with two of your closest couples as friends. The cost...

Only $500,000. You would arrive on a Friday via limousine, and each couple would

get their very own Mercedes-Benz car, but you pay the taxes and insurance.

A caviar reception and gourmet dinner would follow. This one,

however, does include your airfare there and back.

Isn't that generous of them? On Saturday, you'd have a massage and treatment

at one of the world's finest spas, then the option of either playing golf or

tennis or driving your new roadster.

In the evening, you would enjoy a dinner cruise off the southern coast.

If money could buy happiness, surely Scrooge and the Christmas Carol by Charles

Dickens would be a very happy man.

In his journey with the ghost of Christmas present, Scrooge gets a lesson in spiritual economics.

He sees clearly that gold and silver are not the true index of values. People are.

Screw sees the impoverished Cratchit family.

Their name kind of sounds like scratch it out, like eking out a living,

which is a reminder that they are just barely scratching out an existence in

life of the ability to just keep food on the table, for which they are thankful

for a watered-down soup.

But the fact is they They are enjoying one another and having a great holiday

despite their lack of material wealth.

They have riches that have nothing to do with finances.

They have each other. As Scrooge witnesses this family's interaction, he genuinely softens.

His heart softens, beginning to thaw from his humbug chill.

Scrooge anxiously inquires about the prospects for little tiny Tim.

The ghost reminds Scrooge of an incident that happened earlier that Christmas Eve.

Scrooge was asked by another wealthy gentleman for a Christmas donation for charity.

You remember this in the shows.

Scrooge responded with bitter sarcasm. Are there no poor houses?

Are there no orphanages?

Receiving an affirmative reply that there was, Scrooge expressed his relief,

for he was convinced that such institutions were the primary aid for the poor.

The volunteer solicitor replied, but many would rather die than go to those places.

Do you remember what Scrooge said next?

Well, let them die and decrease the excess population.

I saw a thing, a news thing this week,

that in 2002, I believe it was, Bill Gates made an expression that we need to

deplete the world's population so we can make sure that we are feeding everybody we have.

And if we can do it through vaccinations, we would do it that way.

He was recorded, video recorded, saying that. So let them die so we can decrease

the population What kind of person would make such a statement?

Let them die and decrease the excess population I want to know who of the 8.5

billion people on this earth We would consider excess population.

How could anyone be so cold-hearted? Like Scrooge, many people need to learn

that the riches of love surpass the accumulation of money.

For the example, from the example of the Cratchits, we learn that true riches

are found in relationships, not in money.

Second, we see that Joseph demonstrated sacrificial love.

Joseph not only demonstrated selflessness, but he also demonstrated this sacrificial

type of love, sacrificial giving away of himself. The value of relationship

is at the heart of the story of the very first Christmas.

Joseph chose love for the Lord over the convenient choice of a quiet divorce.

You must admire the sacrificial love of Joseph, his courage, and his commitment.

In a situation like this, Mary actually should have been stoned.

By the laws of the Hebrews at this time,

a woman who was found in to be pregnant by another man other than her betrothed

would be stoned, including when they found out who the man was, he would be stoned too.

I kind of think they'd have a hard time stoning the Holy Spirit.

But Joseph understood that he was keeping Mary from being stoned to death.

He was also taking her as his own.

He was willing to endure the embarrassment and the questions of the accusations.

Joseph, this isn't your child. Whose is it?

It's my child. I'm marrying her. Her child is my child.

It's interesting. We think of how that does, but his love didn't waver even

when taken away from his homeland of Nazareth for the census.

Joseph was taken away from his occupation, no insurance, no vacation leave,

no unemployment compensation.

We know Joseph and Mary lived below the poverty level because they could only

afford doves, the least expensive of the purification rights for Mary after the birth of her child.

Shortly after the birth of Jesus, Joseph and Mary and newborn Jesus became refugees

to Egypt, fleeing from the wrath of Herod.

Not refugees like we have now, but refugees in the sense that they left because

they knew that Herod was out to kill all of the newborn children,

newborn males, under the age of two in the land of Israel.

The first family understood the value of true riches, family relationships of

love, and doing what is best for all the members of the family.

The Proverbs writer understood and contrasted the lasting treasure of love and

fleeting riches by saying this in Proverbs 17.1,

better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting with strife.

Instead of a family rebellion, they were, are you reunion? They were having a family rebellion.

Proverbs 15, 6, better a little with the fear of the Lord than great wealth with turmoil.

Proverbs 16, 8, better a little with righteousness than much with gain,

much gain with injustice.

Proverbs 11, 24, some give freely yet grow all the richer, others withhold what

is due and only suffer want.

The only richer, or the way we

get richer as we invest in our lives is to invest in the lives of others.

We store up treasures that last by giving ourselves to others.

True riches are not found in the stingy accumulation of money,

but in the extravagant investment of love.

The Apostle Paul taught us to practice love in our daily relationships with others.

I like the story of an event that took place a number of years ago.

A man named Paul, not the Apostle Paul, received a new car from his brother

as a Christmas present. Now, I love my brother.

Well, anyway, we won't go there.

On Christmas Eve, when Paul came out of his office, a young boy in ragged clothes

was walking around the shiny new car, admiring and touching it.

The little boy looked up and asked, Is this your car, mister?

Yes, Paul replied. My brother gave it to me for Christmas.

The little boy's eyes widened. He said, You mean your brother gave it to you

and it didn't cost you nothing?

Paul nodded. The little boy said, Boy, I wish.

And Paul thought he knew what the little boy was wishing, that he had a brother

like that too, a brother that would give him a car, but he surprised Paul.

The boy went on, I wish, I wish I could be a brother like that.

Paul looked at the boy in amazement. Then he asked, would you like to have a

ride in the new car, in my new car?

The boy exclaimed, oh yes, I'd love that. And for a short, after a short while,

the little ride, the little boy turned to Paul and asked, Mr.,

would you mind driving up in front of my house?

Paul smiled because he thought he knew why the little boy wanted to drive in

front of his house. He wanted to show his neighbors he could come home in this big, beautiful car.

Will you stop where those two steps are? Asked the little boy as they drove up to his house.

He ran up the steps and into the house, and in a little while,

Paul saw him coming back. He was carrying his little brother,

who was crippled with polio.

He sat him down on the bottom step and scooted up against him. He pointed to the car.

There she is, buddy, just like I told you upstairs. Ain't she beautiful?

His brother gave it to him for Christmas, and it didn't cost him nothing. You know what, buddy?

Someday I'm going to give you one just like it, and then you can see all the

Christmas things in the window I've been telling you about.

Paul got out and walked over to the boys, would you like to ride around and

see those Christmas things now?

And so they both nodded eagerly and Paul leaned over and lifted up the boy,

put him into the front seat of the car.

His shining eyed older brother climbed in beside him and the three of them began

a memorable holiday ride.

The story is a great example of what true treasure is.

True riches are not found in the stingy accumulation of wealth,

but in the extravagant investment of love.

People don't care how much you know. They want to know how much you care.

It doesn't matter how much we acquire. It's how much we give away.

This Christmas makes the commitment to value and care for those God brings into your life.

Look at where you are making investments. Are your relationships the ones you are neglecting?

What about your children? How much time do you spend with them?

What about your parents? What about your co-workers?

Milne, author of Winnie the Pooh books, really did have a son named Christopher Robin.

But unlike the boy in the classic children's stories, the real Christopher Robin wasn't so carefree.

Life at home was stressful. His famous father knew how to connect with other

children's imaginations, but he failed miserably to connect with his son.

Christopher Robin Milne grew up to detest his father.

The reason was it was easy to trace. His father had spent time to write stories

about other children and for other children, but never spent time with his own son.

Sounds like cats in the cradle.

As parents, we need to ask Jesus to fill our hearts with so much of love that

we overflow to those around us. Christmas is about relationships.

You can become a partner with God to bless other people.

Then the third thing we see is that Joseph was obedient to God's will.

He was selfless in his relationships. He demonstrated sacrificial love,

and he was obedient to God's will. Do we pray that?

Lord, help me to be obedient to your will. It sounds like just kind of a glib

statement, but then do we go on and say, Lord, show me your will.

What is your will for me today?

Joseph did exactly what God's angel commanded in the dream.

He married Mary, took her home to be his wife, and he withheld sexual relationships

until after Jesus was born.

He could pray in his heart that he loved God and he believed in God,

but he would be obedient in his attitude and his experience by doing exactly what God told him to do.

When you're open and obedient to God's will in your life, it's much easier for

you to embrace the character qualities of selflessness and sacrificial love.

We don't want to be just a better version of ourself.

We want to be like Jesus, and that's what we're to be doing.

As you walk daily with the Lord, the Lord will guide you, and in his divine

providence, he will use you to have a positive influence on your family and

those others that you associate with.

In the original Home Alone movie, elementary-age Kevin McAllister is accidentally

left behind when his family flies to France for Christmas.

At first, Kevin is delighted.

Realizing he has the run of the house, he jumps on the beds and rides a toboggan down the staircase,

but soon his attempts to entertain himself lose their attractiveness as Kevin

comes to the conclusion that without people to share in the celebration,

Christmas is empty and sad.

Because of his loneliness, Kevin crosses the border of fear and reaches out

to old man Marley, a reclusive neighbor Kevin's friends have labeled as the

monster who lives across the street.

They encounter each other and renew and appreciation for togetherness.

I recently read about a modern-day Scrooge. George Mason's life centered on his business.

He lived alone, and on this Christmas, he had refused all invitations.

Late one afternoon on Christmas Eve, he went into the office vault.

Soundlessly, on newly oiled hinges, the great door swung closed behind him.

Desperately, he pounded on the door, but realized no one would hear him.

Everyone was gone, even the cleaning woman. Surely he could make it overnight, he consoled himself.

Then he remembered that the next day was not a working day. It was Christmas.

Feeling around in the dark, he was relieved to locate this safety air hole in

the bottom of the wall where a trickle of air was coming in,

and he laid down next to that hole.

Christmas Eve passed And then Christmas Day passed And he was alone as he had

planned But not where he was planned He was uncomfortable,

hungry, and thirsty In darkness so dense He could almost feel a brushing against his face.

He tried to sleep, anything to pass the time. He thought of friends and family,

and now they must be enjoying Christmas.

And he wondered if anyone missed him.

The day after Christmas, someone arrived early and unlocked the vault.

Unnoticed, George Mason staggered out and over to the water cooler.

Then he took a taxi to his lonely apartment to freshen up.

Back at the office, nobody suspected anything.

Nobody even noticed. that he had been there the whole time.

Physically, he had missed Christmas, but friends and family hadn't given him

a thought. So in a way, he hadn't really missed anything because they hadn't missed him.

After that lonely experience, he wrote on a little card, to love people,

to be an indispensable somewhere.

That's the purpose of life. That's the secret of happiness.

He then taped it to a wall high up in the vault to remind himself of what he

had missed if he ever got locked in again.

This Christmas, we need to commit ourselves to practicing the unselfish demonstration

of sacrificial love and obedience to God's will.

I remember one Christmas when I was a paraeducator in Matomo, Iowa.

In the special ed department, I received a plaque from one of the students.

It read, To the world you are one person, but to this one person you are the world.

We need to take this a time so that we will be an impression on others,

so that we will be missed when we're locked in the vault.

Make that impression on others that Jesus would make on them.