Taming the Tongue

In the summer of 2008, our family attended family camp at Sky Lodge Camp.

On the first Sunday of family camp every year, they hold a family fun fair.

It was at this time, this was a very especially great time in 2008.

There were all kinds of games set up for the children of all ages to play.

One of those games was to

launch water balloons at archery

targets that were set up at varying distances

away The launchers were giant

slingshots rigged up between steel fence

posts So you could imagine the

traction you could get on six-foot lengths of surgical hose The goal was to

hit the targets and earn a prize But I'll have to admit that it was a lot more

fun to turn those launchers and aim them at people instead of the targets.

If you're not suspecting it, you can flat out knock someone off their feet with

a water balloon launched from a six-foot-long slingshot.

Those water balloons were small, and yet they had the ability to cause delight

and destruction depending on how they were used.

Likewise, our words have the same power.

They can bring joy or cause despair.

Proverbs 18, 21 puts it this way. The tongue has the power of life and death.

We're going to continue today in our series, and we're looking at James 3, verses 1 through 12.

James 3:1–12

So if you can follow along there or in your Bibles, follow with me.

Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers,

because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.

We will stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say

is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us,

we can turn the whole animal.

Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong

winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.

Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts.

Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.

The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body.

It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one's life on fire,

and is itself set on fire by hell.

All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and sea creatures are being tamed and

have been tamed by mankind.

But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings,

who have been made in God's likeness.

Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.

Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?

My brothers and sisters, Can a fig tree bear olives or a grapevine bear figs?

Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

This morning, I want to look at some practical steps that will help to tame the tongue.

The stakes are high. Our words can either bring life or they can bring death

to our spouses, our children, our other family members, and even our friends,

co-workers, bosses, neighbors, and fellow worshipers.

Our tongues can build others up or they can tear them down.

Our study this morning continues to be centered on the book of James.

Throughout this letter, James is helping his fellow believers learn to view

their trials from God's perspective and to resist temptations as they bridle their anger.

The church at that time was tolerating evil, showing favoritism,

and participated in fighting slander and lies about one another.

Boy, what a church. I can't imagine any church like that. Could you?

They were using their tongues to destroy each other and to fight for control

of the direction of the church.

Someone has said that great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events,

and small minds discuss people.

The church that James is writing to was full of small-minded people who gossiped

about each other and tore one another apart with their tongues.

You know, Now I wonder if people in the church today are quick to condemn murder, stealing,

smoking, and drinking on all manners of sexual and marital sin,

while at the same time readily assassinating fellow believers by the way we

use our tongue with gossip and critical spirit.

I wonder if we're a bit like that church in James's time, in this day and age in America, church.

Husbands have stabbed their wives with words that are as sharp as daggers,

and wives have lashed out with tongues that cut and pierce.

Parents have devastated their children by repeated blasts of venom and tearing

them down and derogatorily thinking less of them.

Children have exploded at their parents with volleys that have leveled the family

like a bomb, and churches have been wiped out by wagging tongues that have sliced,

diced, and chopped people to shreds.

Listen to what is written in that verse 19.

Take note of this. Everyone should be quick to listen, excuse me,

this is chapter 1, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

Isaiah 1 · chapter mention

If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on

his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

If you and I launch verbal balloons of destruction, they will have devastating effects on others.

And our words have a direct correlation with our own spirituality.

If we don't exhibit control over our tongues, our religion, our faith is worthless.

We talked about this last week, doing the word, in that, you know,

faith without works is dead.

If we don't live like Christ, if we don't become like Christ,

if we don't be transformed in the image of Christ, what good is our religion?

In fact, James even says that we have no faith. James continues his treatment

of the words that come out of our mouths by devoting almost all of chapter 3 to the topic.

In verse 1, James warns people to be careful about their eagerness to be teachers

because teachers are held to a higher and stricter judgment,

and I would say the same thing for pastors.

Perhaps they were impressed with the authority and prestige of the office and

forgot about the tremendous responsibility a teacher has to guard his or her

mouth and guard his words, not just in front of the class, but at all times.

But teachers are not the only ones who are prone to the sin of a wayward tongue.

In fact, in the world's eyes, anyone who claims to be a Christian is a teacher

because the world is constantly looking at us to learn from us how to live life

or to look at how we fail at doing that.

I want you to notice how James connects sins of the tongue with sins of the body.

He does this because our words usually precede action.

Thoughts produce feelings, feelings produce actions, actions have consequences.

The hardest sins to control are the sins of the tongue. The.

But when it does make its presence known, it can have devastating power.

How many of you have been at the receiving end of a lashing tongue?

Don't raise your hands, because we know.

The tongue can express or repress. It can release or restrain.

It can enlighten or obscure. It can adore or abhor, offend or befriend,

affirm or alienate, build or belittle,

comfort or criticize, delight or control or destroy, excuse me, be sincere or sinister.

The tongue can Xerox the good or X-ray the bad.

In verses 3 through 12, James uses six different word pictures of the tongue

to help us see how small the tongue is, yet how powerful it is.

The first word, the first metaphor is the metaphor of the bit or the bitten

bridle that's put into a horse's mouth by a trainer.

This relatively small piece of metal is actually probably about that length,

somewhere in that length, and made of a metal rod.

You've seen it a bit, and it's connected to a bridle, which has the reins connected to it.

And that's put in the mouth of a horse in between the front teeth and the back

teeth, there's a gap in there, and put over the top of the tongue.

So it's resting on the tongue in the horse's mouth.

This relatively small piece of metal can control a 1,000 to 1,500 pound horse,

directing the horse to the right or the left and telling him to stop.

When we were at Covenant Hills Camp in Otisville, Michigan, I was director of

maintenance up there at the camp, and we had some Belgian horses.

Now, if you've seen Belgian horses, those are large creatures,

and yet they were governed and manipulated by the bits in their mouths.

When the bit is pulled back by the rider, it presses against the horse's tongue, causing him to stop.

The horse is so well trained by this bit, by the use of this bit,

that when the rider has the reins in their hands, they usually have them in

their left hand with the tail of the reins on the right side of the horse.

And when they use that reins, all they have to do is tap on the right side or

the left side of the horse, and the horse will know which way to go.

Because the horse has been trained by what's in their mouth.

To do what the rider commands. The second thing, James also compares the tongue to a rudder on a boat.

Just as a small rudder can control the direction of a large liner or even an

aircraft carrier, so too the tongue can control our lives.

Both the bit and the rudder must overcome contrary forces.

The bit controls the wild nature of a horse. The rudder must fight the winds

and the currents that would drive the ship off course.

Both the bit and the rudder must be under the control of a very strong hand keeping it.

Friends, our tongues may be small, but they have the power to delight or destroy.

From our mouths come either words of life or words of destruction.

After talking about the power of the bit in the mouth of the horse and the power

of the small rudder to steer a boat, James uses the image of a fire in verses 5 and 6.

Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.

The tongue is also a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body.

It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire,

and is itself on fire by hell.

Just a little spark. In fact, didn't we sing that a couple weeks ago?

It only takes a spark. It only takes a spark to get a fire going.

It's just a small spark can ignite an entire forest.

So too, words that flow out of tongues can corrupt lives and shipwreck families.

Words that are unleashed without thought can significantly affect and alter lives.

James speaks pretty strongly as he tells us that our tongues are set on fire by hell itself.

Husbands, If you want heaven's help for your home, you need to realize the potentials

your words have for life or destruction.

A snide comment made in public about your wife not caring for you or belittling

her because she won't do her wifely duties will destroy any love that was ever there.

Wives, a snippy comment or gossipy word about your husband destroys any desire he has to be with you.

By the way, one of the leading things that causes divorce in this world is when

husbands have female co-workers or anything like that who give them more affirmation

and attention than their wives do at home.

Vice versa, wives have just as many affairs for the same way when they have

a man other than their husband that's giving them attention.

We need to make sure that we are affirming each other.

Parents, if you want heaven help in your home, you need to realize the potentials

your words have for destruction or blessing or edification. Your words can bring

a form of death to your kids.

We might not even realize what our words do to our children.

When sparks fly in our homes, firestorms can erupt, creating a blazing infernal

that leaves deep scars and lasting pain.

Now, I've got an illustration. I need it before I do

this younger people do you guys know who karen carpenter

was oh boy okay you

guys know karen carpenter was okay after karen

she was a musician she and her brother richard after karen carpenter died of

heart failure at the age of 32 brought on by years of fighting an eating disorder

It came out that her fatal obsession with her weight was triggered by a single reviewer's comment.

When referring to Karen, this man, this reviewer, called her Richard's chubby sister.

It seems that this one comment unleashed a flurry of self-doubt,

which led Karen to her eventual disease and death.

Instead of verbalizing our disappointment in our spouse, children,

coworkers, bosses, fellow worshipers, and pastors, how about verbalizing the

right things we see in others?

Do you remember my story about launching water balloons at unsuspecting campers

at Sky Lodge Camp? It was awesome.

But there were a few times when I reared back on the ground trying to launch

this balloon at somebody and release my barrage of artillery,

but just at the moment of release, the water balloon burst in my face, leaving me drenched.

What was meant to bring joy to me at the hilarious drenching of another caused

my own undoing and the hilarious enjoyment of others.

It was still fun and funny.

Water balloons have that way about them.

Even when they burst in your own face, they're not harmful.

But wrong words have a way of blowing up in our faces as well and causing destruction

to us and our witness for Jesus and to his family, our family and friends.

We might be deliberately caustic as we look for ways to skewer someone with our words.

Like launching a water balloon at some unsuspecting person, it could bring a

strange pleasure to tear someone down.

Maybe we think it helps us look better when we cut others down.

Do you remember the saying, sticks and stones may break my bones,

but words can never harm me?

Hogwash. I don't know who came up with that, but it is simply not true.

Broken bones can heal with time, but a broken spirit caused by words of death

is not quickly repaired.

As important as it is to not speak death words and to instead speak words of life, we have a problem.

Take a look at verses 7 and 8 in that scripture.

All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and creatures of the seas are being tamed

and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue.

It is a restless evil full of deadly poison.

I can't tame my own tongue, and you can't tame your own tongue.

And if you say that too many times, you're going to get your tongue tangled

up by saying, tame your tongue.

But anyway, our tongues must be controlled by another force.

It's amazing when you think about it.

Every dangerous animal can eventually be tamed.

Ferocious lions can jump through burning hoops.

Grizzly bears have been seen to ride on the backs of horses.

And huge elephants can do handstands.

We have a remarkable ability to tame ferocious beasts, but we cannot tame our own tongues.

Like snake venom or corrosive rust, our tongues are just looking to strike unsuspecting people.

They're active and they never rest. There's no sting of a serpent that does

as much damage as one wagging tongue.

Verse 9 and 10 lay out the dichotomy and hypocritical nature of our tongues.

With the tongue, we praise our Lord and Father, and with it,

we curse men who have been made in God's likeness.

Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.

Now, I changed the worship or the hymn for today because of this very message.

You see, we sang in that song that we sang, the very first words,

Oh, for a thousand tongues to sing, my great Redeemer's praise,

the glories of my God and King, the triumphs of his grace.

Isn't it interesting that we used our tongue to bless God, while at the same

time we often use our same tongues to blast away at each other and even drive

people away from the church?

More destructive domestic abuse happens, not with physical violence,

but with verbal and mental use of our tongues.

James says something here is not ringing true. There's something wrong with this picture.

Which one of these speeches reveals what's really in our hearts?

Are we really blessing God, or are we cursing our neighbors because they don't agree with us?

Which one is the real us?

Remember, the root of all sin is self. And then James now draws his fifth word

picture to help us see that it should be impossible for us to both bless and

blast out of the same mouth.

He asks a penetrating question in verse 11. Can both fresh water and salt water

flow from the same spring?

In the book of Revelation, we read about the seven churches,

and one of those churches, I believe it's Laodicea. Anyway, it talks about lukewarm water.

It says you are neither hot nor cold, but because you're lukewarm,

I spew you out of my mouth.

In that city, they had cold mountain springs that would come down from the mountain

in one ravine and warm springs of sulfur water that would come out for another.

One was used for drinking. One was used for spas and baths.

At some point in time along those ways, those would merge and become lukewarm,

sulfur-smelling water. Yuck.

And this is the picture we have here. We can't have both bitter water and sweet

water flowing from the same spring.

Natural springs still remain in the Middle East. Some produce fresh water,

some produce salt water and brackish water.

However, none of those springs produce both.

It is simply not possible to get fresh water and salt water out of the same spring.

James is saying here that just as it is impossible for a spring to have both

sweet and sour water, so too it is inconceivable for the tongue to send forth

both righteousness and rumor, blessing and blasting,

compliments and cursing.

And then the final image that James gives us is that of fruit.

In verse 12, my brothers, can a fig tree bear olives or a grapevine bear figs?

Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. We expect a fig tree to have

figs on it and a grapevine to have grapes.

Nature reproduces after its own time.

In fact, Jesus talks about how what comes out of our mouth is what is in us inside.

So.

So what comes out of there? Water. How could I expect Pepsi or Coca-Cola to come out of there?

What comes out of there is what's in it.

The same thing with us. What comes out of us is what's inside of us.

We can't expect it to change before it comes out of our mouths.

James is calling us to be consistent. What comes out of our mouths is a reflection

of what is in our house. Now, I would want to leave you with some action steps

this morning, and I would encourage you to write these down on your note on

the back of your bulletin.

It's not enough to just hear about how powerful our tongues are or even just

walk away understanding a little bit more about the passage.

We need to learn, what do we do about it?

I mean, a sermon is no good if it's just information.

How does this impact us? So first, I want to challenge you to read the books

of Proverbs and James over the next month in a quiet setting,

away from destruction, or excuse me, distraction, that destruction too.

You can easily read one chapter of Proverbs and one chapter of James every day

within about 30 minutes.

The book of Proverbs has 31 chapters. James has five chapters.

So over a month, you will have read through the entire book of Proverbs one

time, and you would have read through the book of James six times.

So I encourage you to read those books over this next month.

The second action step is for you to remember to think first before you speak.

Now, when I prepare sermons, when I'm doing the sermons, if it doesn't speak to me, Thank you.

It's not going to be good for you. So when I say think before speaking,

I'm talking about me too, okay?

I heard of a young woman, a young mother who asks her kids a question on a regular

basis, are your words flames or flowers?

This helps her children realize that they have a choice to make.

They can plant beautiful flowers with their words, or they can unleash a raging fire.

Using the acronym of THINK, try

to ask these five questions before you speak. First of all, is it true?

Remember this rule about gossip. The more interesting it is,

the more likely it's not true or stretched at least.

Number two, is it helpful?

Will your words help bring about a solution to a problem or will they instigate a problem?

Is it inspiring? Will your words build others up or tear them down?

Is it necessary? Do we have to say anything at all?

Or would what we say, what we have to say, be better left unsaid?

And then finally, is it kind?

Are your words based on a desire to help and lift up and encourage?

The third action is to talk less.

And I'm going on, oh, God, about three more minutes, four more minutes,

until I've been speaking for 30 minutes, so I've got to talk less.

If we talk less, we have more time to listen.

Your chances of blowing it with your words are directly proportional to the

amount of time you spend with your mouth open.

Abe Lincoln said, it's better to remain silent and be thought a fool.

Than to open your mouth and prove it.

Calvin Coolidge said, I have never been hurt by anything I didn't say.

Proverbs 10 verse 19 puts it this way. When words are many, sin is not absent,

Proverbs 10:19

but he who holds his tongue is wives.

I read about a woman who had a very serious throat condition.

Her doctor told her that her vocal cords needed total rest.

She was forbidden to talk for six months. ha ha.

It was a male doctor, I'm sure. With a husband and six kids,

this seemed impossible, but she did what she was told.

When she needed the kids, she blew a whistle.

Whenever she needed to communicate, she wrote things on pads of paper.

After six months, her voice came back.

When asked what it was like to communicate only in writing, she said this.

You'd be surprised how many times I crumpled up and threw away into the trash

before I gave the notes to anybody.

Seeing my words written out before me, before anyone heard them,

had an effect that I don't think I will ever forget.

King David, after seeing how his words got him in trouble, wrote this in Psalm 39 verse 1.

Psalms 39:1

He says, I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from saying,

I will put a muzzle on my mouth.

While we might not be able to stop talking for six months, we can learn to talk

less by putting a muzzle on the muscle of our mouth.

The fourth action step is to use our tongues to build others up.

The Bible continuously reminds us to encourage one another with our words.

Someone has said that we shouldn't complain about our spouse's faults,

because if it weren't for our spouse's faults, they could have married someone else other than us.

Are we speaking words of death or words of life? Words of life energize people.

Proverbs 12 verse 25 says, An anxious heart weighs the man down,

Proverbs 12:25

but a kind word cheers him up.

Let me challenge you to give one encouraging word to everyone you speak with every day.

You'll probably have to be deliberate because it's not natural for us in our

human nature. Tell your son or daughter something that will build them up.

Teenagers, give a life word to your parents.

Siblings, say something kind to each other. Couples, affirm and encourage each

other at least once a day. Okay, pastors, if you're listening,

including me, affirm your congregation members.

And congregation members, affirm your pastor.

Don't cut them down. Now, you're going to be prepared to be receiving new pastors someday.

We don't know when God's going to lead on that. But remember to encourage and

lift them up and don't look for faults in your pastor.

Believe me, if you look for them, you'll find them.

But if you look for encouragement, you can find those too.

Believers, speak highly of your fellow worshipers. The fifth and final action

step for this morning is to have open heart surgery.

Now, we do have one that had some surgery, actually a couple that had some heart surgery recently.

But that's not what I'm speaking about. Why is it so hard to say kind things with our tongues?

It's because the Bible says that in our own strength, we will never tame our tongues.

Where does all the garbage come from? It comes out of the center of our hearts.

God doesn't want you to leave this service and try to tame your tongue totally

on your own. Notice I said that.

It will take more than just willpower and determination. If you want to stop

using deadly words and begin speaking words of life, you need a heart transplant.

You need to have a new heart that can only be provided to you by Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.

Only God can give you this power that we need to build others up instead of tearing them down.

If you want to be a dispenser of life words instead of deadly words,

you need to be in a right relationship with God, and that's an everyday thing.

And that doesn't mean just confessing your sins.

It means being daily transformed by the power of God's word.

Read Proverbs and James every day for the next month and continue in what other

Bible reading you are, but set aside a time to make sure that you are doing it every day.

Friends, that won't happen if we aren't doing it all the time and every day.

That won't happen unless we make a habit of reading God's Word and talking to

Him and with Him on a daily basis.

It won't happen if we aren't faithful to looking into the eyes of Jesus to see

where we fall short of His glory.

And it won't happen if we aren't looking through the eyes of Jesus at the people around us.

Would you stand and pray with me?

Heavenly Father, as we close this service, this time of worship,

we understand that we need to be transformed.

God, I'm praying for a real revival to break out among us. I don't even know

what that's going to look like. I'm going to leave that up to you.

I just want us to be transformed so that the world may know that we are yours.

And they will see such a difference in us. They'll want to come and find out

what it is that's going on in that little Free Methodist Church in Richland Center, Wisconsin.

Father, we want you, and we want to be about your business.