Self Control ( Fruit of the Spirit Part 9)

In Shakespeare's Hamlet, Polonius offers the following

advice to his son Laertes. He says to thine own self be

true. Polonius goal was to communicate

the need to have personal integrity.

Integrity between your your inner values, your beliefs, and

your actions. Be loyal to your own personal

convictions rather than compromising those convictions

in order to please others. If I'm honest with myself then

then that honesty serves as the foundation for honesty in all my

relationships. When my inner self is aligned

with my actions, then I am acting in both authenticity and

integrity. However, the statements to thine

own self be true has in recent years been Co opted for the

purpose of living life without restraint.

To thine own self be true, let me live life on my terms.

To thine own self be true, let me sleep with whoever I want.

To thine own self be true, I can abort the baby that I just

conceived. To thine own self be true, let

me get drunk every night, let me overeat and commit gluttony, let

me go on endless shopping sprees with money I don't have, and the

list goes on and on. Let me be don't bother me with

your rules and restraints. If I'm true to myself, then

that's all that matters. There are many things that

humans sometimes gives them, give themselves over to.

Sometimes these things are inherently bad and some aren't

necessarily bad but can become bad in excess.

There's impatience, anger, greed, wealth, status, image and

comfort, pleasure, shopping our phones, media whether streaming

or browsing, food, beverages, sexual desire, lust, whether for

porn or for that Co worker in the office.

These are all areas humans can fall into if they don't exercise

restraint and live with self-control in their lives.

A lack of self-control can destroy your life and many

people's lives have been destroyed even by one single

moment of casting off restraints.

As we get started this morning, we're going to 1st Focus on what

it looks like when someone lacks in self-control.

This is unrestrained living. Unrestrained living.

Living life without any restraints, living on whatever

terms you want. Some people like to think that

living life this way would be wonderfully freeing.

Yet that's not the truth. You are free to choose your

actions, but you're not free to choose the consequences for your

actions. Let me repeat that.

Stephen Covey said you're free to choose your actions, but you

are not free to choose the consequences for your actions.

Proverbs 2528 says a man without self-control is like a city

broken into and left without walls.

The person who lacks self-control is vulnerable to

attack and is left defenseless without any protection.

Also, when we live without restraint, there are

consequences. Second, Peter 22 And many will

follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of truth

will be blasphemed. You see this, the group that

Peter's talking to, this was a group of people who wanted to

pursue their their sexually immoral ways while still

claiming the name of Christ. And the result of this was that

the truth was poorly spoken of. This was the gospel being

perverted. People had claimed to follow the

way of truth, but then wandered off into sexual immorality,

giving themselves a bad witness and leading to the denigration

of the gospel. When we live life without

restraints, there are consequences, Paul says in First

Corinthians 6. All things are lawful for me,

but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful for me,

but I will not be dominated by anything.

There's plenty in life that can control us or or dominate us.

As Paul says, these aren't necessarily bad things, some of

them are perfectly fine, but it's all about our hearts

orientation towards those things.

Have I become enslaved to and controlled by this?

Now this might sound weird, but I've recently discovered I've

had an unhealthy relationship with food.

You see, I've been skinny my whole life, always trying to put

on weight to be bigger and more muscular.

Try as I might, that's not the type of body I have.

So a year ago I had surgery on my thumb and it meant that I

spent months without being able to work out.

Literal months. During that time, my weight went

up and I began to see numbers on the scale that I'd never seen

before, as well as a physical change with how my clothes were

fitting, something I've never experienced before.

I'm not talking body dysmorphia here, where you have an

unhealthy concern for for what you perceive to be flaws in your

appearance or anything like that.

But you see, you know how active I am.

But what you don't know is that I don't eat the way you think.

I eat my go tubes. My go TOS are carbs and sugar.

I love carbs. Give me all of the carbs I

could. Literally.

I could literally live contrary to scripture on bread alone.

Well, supplemented with a little sugar.

I love sugar. But the biggest issue though is

that I love to eat and eat and eat.

You see, I've always been quite, quite proud of the fact that I

could consume so much food. I could out eat anyone and still

not gain weight. Well, those days are gone, but

this summer God convicted me of this unhealthy relationship with

food. I would dare to even call it

gluttony. That's something you're never

going to hear a pastor preach on.

I don't know if you've ever heard of some or not gluttony.

I don't think I have, but that is what I had become, a glutton,

a person given to voracious and excessive eating.

And I always excused it because, hey, I had the body and the

metabolism to get away with it, right?

But that was living in excess. That was living without

restraint in my diet, and because of this tendency, I've

reoriented some aspects of my life to to keep food in its

proper place and not allow food to control me.

Living unrestrained is not healthy, and it can have

significant and unintended consequences.

So now, now that I've been a bit vulnerable, let's look at a life

of perfect self-control. Jesus lived a life of perfect

self-control. There's some sects of

Christianity, well, I hesitate to call them Christianity.

Some sects of Christianity who believe that Jesus sinned.

Friends, if Jesus sinned, then there's literally no point to us

being here right now. If he sinned then then his going

to the cross was for nothing. If he sinned, then his sacrifice

didn't qualify as a sacrifice, for our salvation needed to be

perfect. Jesus was completely without

sin, and this is paramount to our faith.

Scripture teaches us that he was submissive to his earthly

parents. He was submissive to his to his

earth earthly parents as he was growing up.

Luke 251 speaks to Jesus relationship with his parents

and it and it says that that he went down with them and he was

submissive to them. He was obedient to them and and

he honored them. This meant demonstrating

self-control at all times, in all moments of his life.

Jesus was perfectly obedient. Now it does make you wonder,

what was life like for James? Like did he get ticked off at

Jesus? That older brother was just

literally perfect, could do nothing wrong.

Something, something to think about.

But then we read in John 828. So Jesus said to them, when you

have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am He,

and that I do nothing on my own authority but speak just as the

Father taught me. And he who sent me is with me.

He has not left me alone, for I always do the things that are

pleasing to Him. Jesus was submissive also to the

Father. He was submissive to His earthly

parents 1st, and then He was also submissive to the Father.

Jesus actions and ministry were driven by the Father and He

acted under the Father's authority, not His own personal

prerogative. He was constantly submitted to

the Father and always pleased Him.

And nowhere is this more evidence than after the Last

Supper. They'd had the Last Supper.

This is the night Jesus is about to be rested.

Few hours later they had gone to the Garden of Gethsemane after

having supper together, and Jesus prayed.

Father, if if you're willing, remove this cup from me.

That's his, his desire. Hey, if there's the possibility,

remove this cup. But then he says, nevertheless,

not my own will, but Father, your will be done.

Sure, Jesus had his own preferences, but he yielded his

preferences and desires to the Father.

He didn't hold his own desires above the Father's plan, but

yielded to the plan of the cross.

In Matthew 2653, Jesus shows restraint and self-control as he

acknowledged to his captors that his captors had come and he says

I could call down 12 legion of angels right now to rescue him.

But no, he stayed on the path of obedience.

His self-control served a purpose, and that purpose was us

and our salvation. Hebrews 415 also speaks to to

Jesus, for we do not have a high priest who is unable to

sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has

been tempted as we are. Yet without sin.

He experienced temptation just the same that we do.

He experienced temptation as we do.

You see, this is wonderful because it tells us the type of

person that Jesus is. Our savior didn't stay in some

other dimension, unable to to relate to our lives.

The sun came down and inserted himself into into time and space

and history. He lived in a specific moment in

time, just as you and I do, and faced temptation.

Because of this, Jesus can sympathize with our weaknesses.

He knows where we've been. He knows what you're going

through now. Satan did his best to to tempt

Jesus. Satan first tried to appeal to

the lust of the flesh, the need to eat, but Jesus didn't give in

to his cravings for food. Then Satan tried to appeal to

the pride of life as he commanded Jesus to to jump from

the temple. Jesus had all the glory, the

power and the status, but he didn't use that to demonstrate

how strong he was and who he was by calling angels down for his

rescue. And lastly, when the accuser

tried to get Jesus to succumb to the lust of the eyes by offering

him, look, look at all of this, It can all be yours.

Jesus responds and says You shall worship the Lord your God

and him only shall you serve. Jesus faced Satan, but he

demonstrated self-control, proving his authority and power

over temptation and sin. Now let's look at temptation in

our own lives. You know, it's natural for us to

think of temptation as this outside force to to think that

temptation lies in in that object of desire or that action

that an external force is provoking in us.

But as you'll see, that's not the case.

First of all, each of us has what what we call in theological

terms, original sin. We have original sin.

And you see, that means that sin is hard wired into each of us.

It's hard wired into our DNA. Sometimes you'll hear someone

talk about how good humanity is in in states that people are

basically good. Well, I would contend that

people are not basically good. I don't know about you, but I

never had to teach my kids how to sin.

They came by it naturally on their own.

It takes an outside force for goodness and high character to

turn people good. Ever since that first sin of

Adam and Eve in the garden, people have been sinning.

Psalm 51 Five. David says, Behold, I was

brought forth an iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive

me? No, David wasn't the product of

a sinful affair. He's saying I have always been a

Sinner. From the moments of my

conception till now, I've always been a Sinner.

Ephesians 2 verses one through 3 reads.

And you're dead in the trespasses and sins in which you

once walked, following the course of this world, Following

the Prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at

work. In the sons of disobedience,

among whom we all once lived. In the passions of our flesh,

carrying out the desires of the flesh and the mind, and were by

nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.

Why would we be considered children of wrath, children

deserving of God's punishments? Well, because, because we have a

sin nature that resides in each and every one of us, that makes

us children of wrath. The sin nature is there and it's

strong. It's that sin nature that allows

Paul to say you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you

once walked. Not partially alive, dead in

sin. In fact, sin is so hardwired

into us, consider what even the regenerates.

Apostle Paul says this is this is Paul who has the Holy Spirits

living inside of him. Paul says in Romans 7 verse 15

Romans 7:15

For I do not understand my own actions, for I do not do what I

want, but I do the very thing I hate.

Even Paul struggled with self-control.

He wanted to do the right thing, to be obedient to God, but his

flesh was working against him, causing him to be disobedient to

God and to do the very thing he hated, and to engage in sin.

And that same sin nature is inside each and every one of us.

We have original sin, but that's not the only factor when it

comes to temptation. Temptation actually comes about

when we are enticed by our own desires, when we're enticed by

our own desires. As I said, temptation isn't

something outside of us. It's actually something inside

of us. It begins in our hearts with our

very own desires. Mark 721 through 23.

For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil

thoughts. Sexual immorality, theft,

murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality,

envy, slander, pride, foolishness.

All these things come from within.

Consider for a moment the desire to be successful.

There's nothing innately wrong with a desire to be successful,

but it becomes a problem when that desire becomes so intense

that it causes you to make bad choices.

A student is led to cheat on a test in order to get better

grades to get into better schools.

The businessman prioritizes 60 hour work week over family time

and investing in his children. Perhaps a mom is so driven to

see her children succeed in school, in sports, or in music

that she ties their value to their performance.

When the child fails to perform to her standards, she withholds

love, becomes excessively critical and manipulates.

Now, of course, these are extremes, but often the extreme

helps us see the core issue that's involved.

It's our desires. James 113 through 15.

Let no one say when he is tempted.

I am being tempted by God, for God cannot be tempted with evil,

and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when

he is lured and enticed by his own desires.

Then desire, when it has conceived, gives birth to sin,

and sin, when it is finally grown, brings forth death.

Temptation comes from inside us. When James talks about that

lure, he's using a fishing illustration.

The fish isn't enticed by the bait that's in front of them.

They don't sit there, and they don't contemplate the worm or

whatever it is that's on the hook.

The fish simply sees the bait, wants it, and is lured into

biting. This is how sin is.

Sin appeals to the desires that are inside of us.

This is a little bit of an oversimplification, but we sin

when we love the objects of our deceitful pleasure more than we

love God. When we love the objects of our

deceitful pleasure more than we love God, then that is when we

sin. That means sometimes I'm prone

to worshipping the idol of my own appetites and desires rather

than worshipping the One who is over all.

What I need to do is lay my appetites and desires down at

the cross. When our desires take center

stage, we're declaring that God is not enough for us and and

we're going to seek satisfaction somewhere else.

So we have this sin nature that is hard wired into us and in our

own desires compel us towards sin and create temptation to

engage with something or in a way that we were never intended.

But this naturally leads to the question of how is it that we

demonstrate self-control in our lives?

And the first key to demonstrating self-control is to

walk by the Spirit. Walking in and by the spirit is

is paramount if you want to get a grip on self-control.

When we walk by the spirit, we're being controlled by the

spirits and not by our own desires.

Galatians 516 through 17. But I say, walk by the spirits

and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh, for the

desires of the flesh are against the spirits and the desires of

the spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to

each other to keep you from doing the things you want to do.

My flesh has its own plans, its own agenda, which is contrary to

the spirits. These two, my flesh and the

spirit, are at odds with each other.

If I live without restraints or self-control, then the flesh

will win. If I walk by the spirit

constantly pressing into him, then I'll be more prone to

naturally demonstrating the fruit of the spirit that we've

been talking about this summer. So how do we make this a reality

in our lives? How do we walk by the spirits?

First of all, it starts in our minds.

Writing to the Romans, Paul says in Romans 8.

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the

things of the flesh. But those who live according to

the spirit set their minds on the things of the spirits.

For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on

the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the

flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law.

Indeed it cannot. Those who are in the flesh

cannot please God. Now, the most important aspect

when it comes to bike handling when I'm riding my bike is not

my legs or my arms or my hands. As important as those things

are, the most important aspect when I am on the bike, the key

to handling the bike is my eyes. Where am I looking?

The reason for this is wherever I look, that's where the bike's

going to go. Whether it's intentional or not,

that is what's going to happen. And this is absolutely

important. When you're bombing down a

mountain at thirty, 4050 miles an hour, if you look at the

wrong line, if you look where you don't want to go off the

road, that's where you're going to go.

So we have to look at the right place.

We have to keep our eyes focused on the right line so that we can

keep going. It's the same with our actions.

If our eyes, if our mind, if, if you will, are set in the right

direction, then my actions will follow.

That's why in Philippians 4, Paul says to think on that which

is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent

and praiseworthy. Thinking the right way will

naturally cause us to act in the right ways and to walk by the

spirit. Next, practice self-discipline.

Practice self-discipline. self-discipline is hard, right?

That's why it's called discipline.

If it was easy, each of us would be the perfect representation of

ourselves that we want to be. I would never miss a day of

spending time with God. I would never make an impulse

buy at the store. I would never overeat, and I

might even give up sugar. Actually, I don't even want to

give up sugar, so I probably wouldn't do that.

But self-discipline takes work. By the way, sugar is natural,

right? It is in fruits, just in certain

amounts. I just like more than naturally

exists. Paul loves his sports analogies

and and he is running to illustrate the impact and

importance of self-discipline. I'm sure you've heard this First

Corinthians 924 through 27 do not know that in a race all the

runners run but only one receives the prize.

So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises

self-control in all things. They do it to receive a

perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.

So I do not run aimlessly, I do not box as one beating the air,

but I discipline my body and keep it under control.

The athlete disciplines herself because she has a goal in mind.

If you want to achieve a certain outcome then you take the right

steps to help you get there. You don't just wake up 1 morning

and decide to go run a marathon without any training.

If your goal is to run a marathon, then you take the

appropriate steps to help you get there.

You run 3 miles, then 5 miles and seven, and 10/15/20.

You discipline yourself all along the way to be able to

handle that extreme challenge of running 26.2 miles in one single

day because you're crazy. God bless anyone.

If we have anyone in here who's run a marathon, God bless you.

Even if you've done 1/2. Major major props to you for

that. I cannot fathom doing that.

I can ride 100 miles much easier than I could run even 13 miles.

Can't fathom it. Self-discipline helps us become

the person that we imagine ourselves being.

In some instances, self-control can can be extremely difficult

to live out, but with practice it becomes easier and that next

step becomes more natural. One of the best ways you can do

this is by fasting. Fasting is a great way to be

self disciplined and reorient your life.

It doesn't just reorient your relationship with food, but also

reorients your relationship with God.

Food is good. It's not just necessary for

survival, but it actually tastes good, right?

God gave us the capacity to appreciate it and and to enjoy

it. However, when I choose to go

without food, it's a declaration that food doesn't own me and my

value and my identity are found in Christ and He is more

important than food. Another key to demonstrating

self-control is be on your guard against addictions.

You know, I know I don't sound good, but you see, when you've

lived for three weeks with all this junk stuck in your throat

and it starts to actually move, it's kind of nice.

Maybe that's TMII don't know. In Matthew 10, Jesus sent his

followers out and he told them to heal the sick, raise the

dead, cleanse the lepers and cast out demons.

Jesus desire was for them to release people from bondage,

whether they were in bondage to sickness or in bondage to the

demonic realm or to sin. 2nd Corinthians 317 Now the Lord is

spirits, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

True freedom comes from God's presence, and in His presence we

find freedom from sin. Whatever sin you're facing,

whatever your addiction, there is freedom in Christ.

That same power that raised Jesus from the grave, that same

power now lives in US. Hold on, did you catch that?

The same power that raised Jesus from the grave now lives in you

and in me, y'all. The same power that raised Jesus

from the grave has taken up residence in your hearts

permanently. Thank you.

This is powerful stuff people. If that doesn't excite you, then

I don't know what will. Jesus has come to live inside of

us and we have his death conquering sin, conquering power

in our hearts. So now we are free to not obey

the flesh. We are free to not sin.

An idol is anything we worship or submit ourselves to other

than God. Don't allow an idol to hold you

back from self-control. Remove that idol from your life.

Don't let alcohol be your idol. Don't let prescription drugs be

your idol. Nor recreational drugs,

caffeine, gambling, shopping, food, sex, porn, social media,

even work addiction. All of these things are on the

list of the top 20 addictions in our nation.

Don't let any of those things become an idol in your life.

Surrender it all to God, remove the idol from your life and seek

his healing. What does Jesus say?

He says, come to me, all you who labor and are and are heavy

laden, and I will give you rest. Relief from your addiction,

relief from sin, from the burdens that you're carrying is

in. Jesus Christ has set you free.

Guard yourself in His ways and don't allow yourself to live in

bondage to sin. So we walk by the spirit, we

practice self-discipline and aware to be on guard against

addictions and the sin nature in US.

Lastly, don't give in to anger or fear.

Don't give in to anger or fear. And I know you may be looking at

this and thinking, well, that's an interesting combination.

But but yes, these are two different areas.

But, but there's a connection here.

First of all, anger and fear are accompanied by impulsive

actions. When when we're angry and when

we're fearful, we make rash decisions.

We lose the capacity to think before acting, to be rational

human beings. What is it that that we want to

be quick about? James says.

Know this, my beloved brothers, let every person be quick to

hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does

not produce the righteousness of God.

I have a paraphrase for this, for this passage.

It's a little trite, but I, I, I say it's just just listen, shut

up and chill. It's that simple to keep anger

at Bay. Just listen, shut up and chill.

Open your ears. You know the saying, there's a

reason God gave you 2 ears and one mouth.

So listen, be quick to hear, slow to open your mouth, and

chill. Relax, Don't, don't get angry.

Why? Because, James says our anger,

the anger of man, does not produce the righteousness of

God. When we get angry, we completely

lose control and we do stupid things.

There's a reason that when Paul listed qualifications for

leaders in the church, he says they should be self controlled.

If leaders in the church aren't self controlled, then they're

likely to do something stupid when they get upset or become

angry. Now turning towards the topic of

fear, first of all, I will say that fear can cause you to act

in anger, But second Timothy one verse 7 says for God gave us a

spirit, not a fear, but of power and love and self-control.

As followers of Christ, we're not to live in fear.

There are a number of reasons for this.

First of all, we're not to live in fear because we have God's

presence in and with us. Second, fear engages our our

fight or flight mechanism. Now when you're in fight or

flight mode, you're not acting, you are reacting, you're not in

control, you're out of control. And every action is an impulse.

When that happens, when we, when we act and and speak out of the

heart, it's what's in the heart, what's really inside us, our

true nature that's going to come out in fearful circumstances.

Let me say that again. When we act and speak in fearful

situations, when we're scared, when we're afraid, when we're

living in fear, it's what's in the heart, what's really inside

of us that's going to come out that reveals who you really are.

Are you a person of self-control, of temperance, of

patience, Lovejoy, peace, all the rest of the fruits?

Or do you have an unsettled spirit?

Since a person without self-control is like a city with

its walls broken down, think about where the broken walls are

in your life. Is it your tongue speaking

carelessly? Do you have bad habits and find

yourself prone to indulging without restraints?

Or is the problem in your mind allowing every distracting

thought to run wild? This week, with the help of the

Holy Spirit, commit to rebuilding one wall.

Repair 1 area where you're vulnerable.

With the Holy Spirit working in you, you have the power to close

the gates to repair the wall. So let's start that today.

Let's bow our heads and close our eyes.

As we prepare to close, take a moment to consider what's the

one wall that you need to repair?

As the Holy Spirit speaks to you, that area of concern the

Holy Spirit brings to mind. Offer it back to God.

Confess it. Say God, I am sorry for this.

Say, help me to live in your power to build up this defense

in my life. God, we come to you as people

who want to be controlled by the Holy Spirit working in us, not

controlled by the flesh, but by your power.

Would you increase the fruit of self-control in our lives?

Make us more and more like Jesus Christ as we surrender our lives

to you? It's in His name we pray, Amen.

Would you stand as we sing our closing song this morning?