Equipped 2026: "Jacob and Laban (Gen. 29-31)" by Tyler Alverson

Good afternoon, it is so good to be together this afternoon.

I appreciate the opportunity to be here with you at the Equip Conference.

So thankful for the Cumberland Trace Church that meets here and all the effort that's

put into this weekend, making it so successful and making it so beneficial for us.

Also appreciate all of those who have traveled some distances to be here, to grow in your

faith, to love God more, to draw closer to your brothers and sisters in Christ.

What a blessing it is for us to be together this afternoon.

If you have your copy of God's Word with you, I'd love for you to turn with me over to the

book of Genesis.

As we study together over the next few moments, we're going to be looking at Genesis chapter

Genesis 29 · chapter mention

29, chapter 30, and chapter 31, is the passage that's been assigned to me.

So if you have your Bible, I'd invite you to get it out.

Turn with me over to Genesis, the 29th chapter.

We'll begin there in just a few moments.

As we study over the next few minutes in Genesis 29-31, we're going to be looking at two men

named Jacob and Laban.

When we think about them as individuals, and especially when we see their interactions

with one another, I believe there's so many life lessons that we can learn from them.

When we read and study through these three chapters, there's so much that we can learn

about God, how much he loves us, and how involved he is in our lives.

There's so much that we can learn about our relationships with one another, especially

when those relationships get a little bit rocky, when there's a little bit of turbulence

in those relationships.

And I think there's so much that we can learn about ourselves, how we can better serve God,

how we can better love him with everything that we have, and love our neighbors as we

love ourselves.

Now obviously in the time that we have together this afternoon, we don't have the time to

cover every single word of every single verse, or to cover every single principle that would

be applicable throughout Genesis 29-31, but I do want us to look at five lessons from

Jacob and Laban, five lessons from these three chapters that I hope will be encouraging and

helpful and edifying to each and every one of us.

The first lesson I think we need to see from Jacob and Laban is a lesson about the providence

of God.

A lesson about how God is at work in our lives every single day.

Now if you go back just a little bit to Genesis chapter 27 and verse number 43, Rebekah, who

Genesis 27 · chapter mention

is Jacob's mother, is giving him instruction,

Arise, flee to Laban, my brother in Haran.

His father Isaac fills in some gaps there, helps us with that.

To understand a little bit more about that in Genesis 28 verses 1-4,

Genesis 28:1–4

When Isaac called Jacob and blessed him and directed him,

You must not take a wife from the Canaanite women.

Arise, go to Padon Aram, to the house of Bethuel, your mother's father, and take as your wife

from there one of the daughters of Laban, your mother's brother.

What Isaac is doing for his son Jacob is exactly what his father did for him back in Genesis

Genesis 24:3–4

24 verses 3-4.

And so we see Jacob at the beginning of Genesis chapter 29 verses 1-13.

Genesis 29:1–13

He's making this journey.

He's doing what both his mother and his father had instructed him to do.

And I think we're able to see the hand of God working.

That as he travels, he comes to a well.

And it just so happens there were some shepherds who were hanging around there.

As Jacob approaches the shepherds, he asks them the question, where are you from?

Well it just so happened they were from Haran, which is exactly where Jacob was going.

Exactly where Jacob had been instructed to go.

He asked them, do you know Laban?

Guess what?

It just so happened that they knew Laban when you read in verses 1-13.

And so when Jacob asked for a little bit more information, is everything well with him?

Is everything okay with him?

It just so happened that one of his daughters, his youngest daughter in particular named

Rachel was coming to that well at that time to water her sheep.

When Jacob sees that, he ends up watering her sheep, kissing her, weeping loudly, telling

her who he is and why he's there.

She goes back to her father Laban, informs him on all of those details, and Jacob is

invited into Laban's house.

Jacob is welcomed with great hospitality, at least initially, into Laban's house.

Can you see how all that lines up?

He came to the well and it just so happened shepherds were there.

It just so happened that they were from Haran.

It just so happened that they knew Laban.

And as they were having conversation, it just so happened that one of Laban's daughters,

Rachel, was coming to the well at that exact moment.

That's not just happenstance, is it?

That's not just coincidental.

Those things are not just happening.

Can you see the hand of God working here?

And it's awesome because when you read through verses 1-13, you don't read about God explicitly

doing anything.

The text nowhere says God did this or told this person to go there, but you see the hand

of God directing these events so that this conversation is able to take place.

Look at the providential hand of God at work.

We not only see it at the beginning of Genesis 29-31, I think we see it throughout the entire

story.

In fact, if you were to skip just a little bit ahead to chapter 31, verses 5-13, Jacob

is at the end of his time with Laban.

He spent two decades there.

He spent 20 years there.

And as he's talking to his two wives, Leah and Rachel, who we'll talk more about in just

a moment, he talks about how Laban had mistreated him, but yet how God had always been involved

and God had always been there.

You look at verse number 5.

He says,

Your father Laban, he doesn't regard me with favor as he did before, but the God of my

father has been with me.

He says in verse 7,

Your father has cheated me and changed my wages ten times, but God did not permit him

to harm me.

He talks about how God is the one who took the flocks of Laban and gave them to him as

a wage, gave them to him as a reward.

You think about the providence of God throughout Jacob's couple of decades in Laban's household.

Maybe he didn't see it in the moment.

And when you read throughout Genesis 29-31, again, you don't find a lot of explicit

statements about God doing this or God is working in this way or God said this to this

particular individual.

But as he looks back in hindsight, he's able to see it so clearly.

What did he see?

God was with me.

God never left me.

God was always there for me.

He was there constantly working all things together for good to the point that he makes

this statement in verse 42 of chapter 31,

If the God of my father, the God of Abraham and the fear of Isaac had not been on my side,

surely now you would have sent me away empty-handed, but God saw my affliction and the labor of

my hands and rebuked you last night.

Can we learn a lesson from Genesis 29-31 about the providence of God?

How God is working behind the scenes?

As the Apostle Paul said in Romans 8 and verse 28,

We know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who

were called according to His purpose.

A promise, meaning not that everything that happens in our lives is good, but God takes

the good, the bad and the ugly in order to produce something that's good, in order to

produce something that is beneficial and ultimately for His glory.

Now you might not be able to see it so clearly in the present moment.

You might not be able to see it right now, and I think when we talk about the providence

of God, we need to be like the Apostle Paul in the book of Philemon, or the individual

Mordecai in the story of Esther, we need to use words like maybe and perhaps, that maybe

God is doing this, or perhaps God is working in this way.

But here's something we don't have to say maybe or perhaps about.

We know that God is working.

We know that for those who love God, all things work together for good.

It's a lesson about the providence of God.

Isn't it awesome to know the same God who worked in Jacob's life over the couple of

decades that we read about in Genesis 29-31, He's the one who's working in our lives too.

He's working in your life, He's working in mine every single moment of every single day.

If you've been a Christian for some amount of time, maybe you can do what Jacob did in

verse 42.

Even when people were standing against you, even when people were harming you and cheating

you in various ways, you can put your finger on a moment and say, if God had not been there,

if God hadn't been with me, if God hadn't been blessing me, if God had not been working

in this moment, then I would have been consumed, I would have been devoured, I wouldn't have

made it, I wouldn't be where I am today.

But thanks be to God that He continues to work.

It might not always be obvious to us, but thanks be to God that He continues to work

in our lives behind the scenes.

The first lesson is a lesson about the providence of our God.

I think the second lesson that we can learn from Genesis 29-31 is a lesson about honesty.

A lesson about honesty.

If you've studied about the character of Jacob up to this point in his life, then you know

that he's a deceiver.

It goes all the way back to the moment that he was born.

In Genesis 25 and verse number 26, he was born holding on to his brother Esau's heel.

That's why he was given the name Jacob, which means heel grabber or deceiver.

He was holding on to Esau's heel when he was born, and I would suggest to you that he didn't

let go as they went throughout life.

For instance, you go to Genesis 25, verses 29-34, and you have this story where Esau's

Genesis 25:29–34

coming back in from the field, and he's exhausted.

He thinks that he's nearly at the point of death.

Jacob tricks him, give me your birthright, and I'll give you this bowl of red stew.

That's one of the worst trades that's ever been made, that Jacob is able to take advantage

of him by deception.

In Genesis 27, verses 2-4, Isaac is planning to bless Esau, to place a blessing on him

Genesis 27:2–4

before he died.

Go and hunt some game, prepare it for me like I like it, and then bring it back to me so

that I can bless you before I die.

Well when Rebekah hears about it, remember she favored Jacob, while the text tells us

Isaac favored Esau.

She takes Jacob, puts Esau's clothes on him, puts skins of the young goats on his hands

and the smooth part of his neck, because Esau was a hairy man, Jacob was not, and Jacob

pretends to be his brother Esau.

He goes into the presence of his father Isaac, and takes advantage of his old age, takes

advantage of his bad eyesight.

When Isaac pushes back a little bit and says, are you really my son Esau?

He answered and said, I am.

What is that?

That's a lie, that's deception.

But in Genesis 27, verses 27-29, Jacob ends up receiving that blessing from Isaac in place

Genesis 27:27–29

of his brother Esau.

When Esau comes in and he figures out what's happened, in chapter 27 and verse 36, he asks

the question, is he not rightly named Jacob?

For he's cheated me these two times, he took away my birthright, and behold now he has

taken away my blessing.

Up to this point in Jacob's life, he's been a deceiver, he's been a hill-grabber.

When you step into Genesis 29, verses 13-30, and you find the deceiver being deceived.

Genesis 29:13–30

He's welcomed into Laban's house, he tells Laban, I'll serve you seven years if you'll

give me your youngest daughter Rachel, and Laban agrees to that.

Jacob works throughout the entirety of those seven years, but you look at what happens

in chapter 29, in verse number 22, Laban gathered together all the people of the place and made

a feast.

This was the week-long marriage festival that was supposed to be, at least Jacob thought,

for himself and Rachel.

But look at what Laban does there in 23, in the evening he took his daughter Leah and

brought her to Jacob and he went in to her.

Of course Jacob, he wakes up in the morning and he's surprised.

He actually goes to Laban and asks him the question in verse 25, why then have you deceived me?

Laban says it's not our custom to marry the youngest daughter before the oldest daughter

and so finish the marriage festival with Leah, then I'll give you Rachel if you'll work for

me for another seven years.

Can you see what Laban has done?

He's deceived him, not only into marrying both of his daughters, but also for working

for him double the amount of time that was originally agreed upon.

You keep reading, into chapter 30, verses 25 through 43, Jacob is tossing around the

idea of leaving Laban's house and going back to the land of Canaan, oftentimes called the

land of his father's, Laban says to him, name your wages and I'll give it to you.

And so if you look in there in verse number 32 of Genesis chapter 30, Jacob says, let

Genesis 30 · chapter mention

me pass through all your flock today, removing from it every speckled and spotted sheep and

every black lamb and the spotted and speckled among the goats and they shall be my wages.

In verse 34, Laban agrees to that, good, let it be as you have said.

As soon as those words come out of his mouth, Laban goes through all the flocks, he pulls

out the animals that would have went to Jacob, that would have benefited Jacob.

He entrusts those animals to his sons and then puts a three day journey between those

animals and Jacob, making it virtually impossible for him to get anything.

Do you see the deception there?

Now more than likely, Jacob uses a practice from superstition as he's breeding the animals

in order to gain success.

We know that his success didn't come from the superstition.

If you go to chapter 31, it was God who ended up giving Laban's flocks to Jacob.

But you think about the deceit that we mentioned a few moments ago in chapter 31 in verse 7,

where Laban cheated him and changed his wages ten times.

You look at the deceit that's even mentioned by Laban's two daughters in verse 15, that

he regards them as foreigners.

He sold us and has indeed devoured our money.

You look at the deceit from Jacob in verse number 20.

Jacob tricked Laban by not telling him that he intended to flee.

If you live a life of deceit, do you think that's only going to impact you?

Or do you think that's also going to spread to those who you're close to?

It spreads, doesn't it?

It's contagious because you look at verse number 35, going back to verse 19, when Jacob

and his family left Laban's house, Rachel had taken Laban's household gods, but Jacob

didn't know it.

And so as Laban, in verse number 34, is looking for these idols, looking for these gods throughout

the tents, it says,

Rachel had taken the household gods and put them in the camel's saddle and sat on them.

In verse 35, she said to her father, Laban,

Let not my Lord be angry that I can't rise before you, for the way of women is upon me.

Again, what is that?

That's a lie.

That's deception.

I can't get up because the way of women is upon me, when in reality, she didn't want

to get up because she was concealing the household gods that she had stolen.

And so you look at Rachel, but primarily at Jacob and Laban, what do you see?

You see constant deception.

You see constant lying, trying to pull the wool over one another's eyes.

What are we able to learn from that?

We're able to learn to be honest, be genuine, be sincere.

I think we need to hear the words of Jesus in Matthew 5 and 37.

Let what you say be simply yes or no.

Anything more than this comes from evil.

So often we think we can pull the wool over people's eyes, and oftentimes we try to do

it for our own benefit.

We try to gain at somebody else's expense.

I'm going to make an agreement and then break that agreement.

I'm going to make a promise and then not fulfill that promise.

I'm going to lie to this individual so that I can get several steps ahead.

Can I tell you, when you look to the Scriptures, deceit actually never gets you ahead.

It only puts you behind from a spiritual perspective.

It kills our relationships with God and our relationships with other people.

That's why the Apostle Paul would say in Ephesians 4 and 25, that as we live out our new life

in Jesus, the new life He's given to us, we are to put away falsehood and speak the truth

with our neighbors.

As a Christian, people should be able to wholeheartedly trust every single word that comes out of

your mouth.

Every single word that comes out of your mouth, people should be able to trust.

If you say that you're going to do something, then do it.

If you make a promise, then fulfill that promise.

If somebody needs to be told something, then tell them.

Don't try to pull the wool over their eyes.

If your answer is yes, let it be yes.

And if your answer is no, then let it be no.

I think we can learn a lesson.

When we look at so much deceit going back and forth between Laban and Jacob in their

lifestyles, how they're treating one another, you and I learn a lesson about honesty.

May every word that comes out of our mouths be defined by honesty.

Here's the third thing.

I think we can learn a third lesson about God working in and through messy, broken families.

You look at Genesis 29 and verse 30 through chapter 30 and verse number 24, you read about

Jacob with Leah and Rachel and their family expanding, them having children, particularly

having sons and one daughter that we read about through this passage.

When you look at chapter 29 and verse 30 through chapter 30 and verse 24, I'm telling you,

it's messy.

There's broken relationships there.

Let me show you what I'm talking about.

The text begins there in chapter 29 and verse 30 by talking about how Leah was hated.

She has four children, four sons by her husband Jacob, Reuben, Simeon, Levi, and Judah.

And she has those sons just hoping that her husband will love her.

Just hoping that she can gain or deserve the love that her husband should already be giving

to her.

When Rachel sees that at the beginning of chapter 30, how does she feel?

She's envious of Leah.

And so she does what Sarah did back in Genesis chapter 16.

Genesis 16 · chapter mention

You remember that?

She gives her servant to Jacob to have children through that servant.

And that servant ends up bearing two sons, Dan and Naphtali.

But not to be outdone in this type of competition that's happening, when Leah saw that she wasn't

able to bear children, her womb had been closed, she ends up giving her servant to Jacob who

has two more sons, Gad and Asher, in chapter 30 in verse 11 and also verse number 13.

When Reuben, who was Leah's firstborn and Jacob's firstborn, he was bringing in mandrakes

from the field which were thought to promote fertility in the ancient world, Rachel makes

out a deal with Leah.

If you give me those mandrakes, then I'll let you sleep with Jacob tonight.

And so you look at verse number 16, how sad is this, of chapter 30, Leah went out to meet

her husband and said, you must come into me for I have hired you with my son's mandrakes.

Can you imagine a wife having to say that to her husband?

You have to sleep with me tonight.

You have to come into me.

You're under obligation to do this because I have hired you to spend the night with me.

And God blesses that union with another son named Issachar.

Leah conceived again and bore another son, Zebulun, verse 20, and then a daughter, Dinah,

in verse 21, and then in verse 22, God remembers Rachel, her womb is open, and she's able to

have a son named Joseph.

We know that later on she actually dies in childbirth, giving birth to Benjamin.

But you look at what we just summarized in Genesis 29 in verse 30 through chapter 30

in verse 24, isn't it so messy?

Isn't it so broken?

This is not the picture of an ideal family.

And one thing I love about the Bible is the Bible never tries to clean these things up.

Within this family, there's hatred, there's bitterness, rivalry, competition, envy.

The list could go on and on, but what is God doing?

God's working.

He's working in this family.

You read through this passage, the Bible talks about how God is the one who opened up and

closed wounds.

God is the one who gifted these relationships with children.

God's not just working in this family in the moment, but we know that God's going to work

through this family in powerful ways.

Jacob receives another name, do you remember what it is?

Israel.

The twelve sons that come from him roughly become the twelve tribes of Israel.

God enters into covenant with the nation of Israel in Exodus 20 at Mount Sinai, and it's

through that covenant that Jesus Christ is born into the world.

It's in the midst of that covenant that the Word becomes flesh and dwells among us.

It's through Jacob and the descendants of his twelve sons that the Savior is born.

God works through this messy, broken family in order to bring about our salvation.

This messy and broken family existed so that you and I can be right here in this moment

saved and washed clean by the blood of Jesus Christ.

Sure, this is a messy and broken situation.

This is a messy and broken family, but we see God working in this family.

We see God working through this family.

Now that gives me encouragement.

That gives me hope.

That gives me comfort.

Do you know why?

Because there's not a family on this earth that's perfect.

Even though sometimes we might try to pretend to be, there's not a family in the Lord's

church that is perfect or sinless or flawless.

To varying degrees and in different ways, all of our families are messy.

All of our families are broken.

And we might be discouraged.

We might be tempted to think, because my family looks this way, or because this particular

event happened within my family, God's done with us.

There's no way God could work in us or through us.

God must be finished with us.

Or in our pride and arrogance, we look down on some other family, well look at what's

happened to them.

They don't have this.

They're not able to do that.

They don't live here.

God can't do anything with them.

This passage presents a very different message.

God is able to take a really messy and broken situation.

He's still able to take messy and broken families to work in them and through them for His glory.

The gospel is able to advance through messy and broken families.

You and I don't have to be perfect.

Our families don't have to be perfect in order for God to work through us.

I think this is the third lesson that we can learn from this passage.

A lesson about God working in and through really broken situations.

Here's number four.

A lesson about following God's guidance.

A lesson about following God's guidance.

We've mentioned that tensions have been growing between Jacob and Laban and Laban's household.

And so you look at chapter 31, in verse number 3, the Lord speaks to Jacob and says,

Return to the land of your fathers and to your kindred and I will be with you.

How does He respond to that?

We mentioned it a few moments ago.

He takes His wives into a private place in the field where they could have a conversation

and He tells them about a number of things.

One of those things is a dream that He had.

Where an angel came to Him and gave Him a message from God.

You see it there in verse 13.

I am the God of Bethel where you anointed a pillar and made a vow to me.

Here's the command.

Now rise, go out from this land and return to the land of your kindred.

How did Jacob respond to those two commands?

Those two commands that are telling him to do the same thing.

I want you to leave here, go back to the land of your fathers.

Oh, he didn't hesitate.

He didn't procrastinate.

He didn't try to argue with God.

He didn't ask God any questions whatsoever.

God tells him to go and he goes.

He follows God's guidance.

He follows God's leadership.

You can see that with Laban too.

Jacob packs up his family, packs up his possessions.

They leave without even telling Laban.

And so in chapter 31, in verse number 24,

the Bible says that God came to Laban in a dream by night and said to him,

be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad.

That's the instruction from the Lord.

Well, look at what happens in verse number 29.

When Laban tracks down Jacob and overpowers him

and begins to have a conversation with him,

he says, it's in my power to do you harm.

In other words, I could hurt you right now.

I could harm you, but why don't you?

The God of your fathers spoke to me last night saying,

be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad.

And so you look at both Laban and Jacob.

They are following the commands that God had given to each one of them individually.

Following God's leadership, following God's guidance.

You know, the Apostle Paul tells us in Romans 8, verse number 14,

all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.

You and I have not just the obligation and the responsibility,

but we have the privilege to follow the leadership

and the guidance of the Holy Spirit and the Spirit of God.

You and I have the privilege to follow the guidance and leadership of our Creator,

the One who has created us the first time, but also created us anew in Christ Jesus.

You and I don't get to decide where we're going or how we get there.

As we live our lives on a daily basis, we don't get to decide,

what is my final destination and what path am I going to take?

No, instead, we follow the guidance and we follow the leadership of our God.

We follow the guidance that He's given to us in the Scriptures.

Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.

I've stored up Your Word in my heart so that I might not sin against You.

When you and I read and study the Scriptures, we're coming into interaction.

We're coming face to face with the guidance and leadership of God.

The question is, are we willing to follow it?

Are we spending time with our Bibles?

Are we reading and studying the Word of God?

And then are we applying what we read and study?

But then maybe sometimes we find ourselves in different situations,

different circumstances, where maybe we're having to make really important decisions

and we wonder, am I following God's guidance in this?

Have you ever been there?

I want to be sensitive to how God is leading me and guiding me by His Spirit,

but how can I be sure that this is the direction God wants me to go?

I want to give you four questions just to think about and wrestle with.

These questions are not original with me,

and I don't think they're the end-all and be-all,

but I think they get us thinking down this track.

Am I following the guidance of God?

The first question is, is it biblical?

God will never guide you in a direction

that contradicts what He's revealed in the pages of His Word.

And so if I feel like I'm being led or guided in a certain direction,

but it doesn't line up with Scripture, I dismiss it immediately.

Number two, is it loving?

God will never guide us in a direction that is unloving,

that doesn't match the description of love.

1 Corinthians 13 verses 4-7. Why?

1 Corinthians 13:4–7

Because God in His very nature is love.

1 John 4 and verse number 8.

Question number three, is it Christ-like?

When God leads us and guides us, it's for the purpose of Romans 8,

us being conformed into the image of His Son, Jesus Christ.

And so if I'm being led in a direction

and it's not helping me to become like Jesus,

I need to spend more time questioning that.

And then number four, is it full of opportunities for service?

When God leads us and guides us, it's not just about us.

So often that's all we think about.

But it's not just about me.

It's not just about how I can advance or how I can gain, how I can benefit.

When God is leading me and guiding me by the power of His Spirit,

I need to spend time thinking,

what are the opportunities in this to serve other people,

to love other people, to share the Gospel with other people?

How is this going to open up doors for me to better serve God

and to better love my neighbor?

And so like I said, that might not be the end-all and be-all.

There might be other things to consider here,

but I think that at least gets us started in thinking,

am I following God's guidance?

Am I following the direction that He's giving to me?

And then finally, number five, I think in this passage,

we're able to see a lesson about working through conflict.

All of us have conflict.

All of us have different individuals who we have been in conflict with.

I think the last half of Genesis chapter 31,

Genesis 31 · chapter mention

it gives us four steps to work through that conflict.

I believe the Holy Spirit in that passage, Genesis 31, verses 25 through 55,

Genesis 31:25–55

He gives us four steps that have to be present

in order for me to work through the conflict that I have with another person.

So let's notice those together.

Number one, if you want to work through conflict, go to the other person.

Go to the person who you're in conflict with and begin that conversation.

Can you see that in Genesis chapter 31 and verse 25,

Genesis 31 · chapter mention

where Laban is pursuing after Jacob?

Jacob had left without telling him,

and so Laban pursues him and overtakes him

and begins to have this conversation with him.

If you want to work through conflict,

you need to go to that person that you're in conflict with

and begin the conversation.

That's your responsibility.

That's my responsibility.

If you have wronged somebody else,

Jesus says in Matthew 5, 23 and 24,

you need to go to them and be reconciled to them.

It's even more important than the worship that you offer God.

If you're offering your gift at the altar,

you remember that your brother has something against you,

it doesn't say he's right.

It doesn't say he's justified.

It doesn't say he's validated.

But if you're worshiping God

and you remember your brother has something against you,

what do you do?

You don't even finish the worship service.

First, go be reconciled to your brother,

and then you can come back and offer your gift.

Well, what if somebody has wronged me?

Then the ball's in their court, right?

Because they're the ones who hurt me.

They need to come say they're sorry to me.

If they want to start the conversation,

I'll let them do that, but I'm not.

What does Jesus say in Matthew 18 and 15?

If your brother sins against you,

go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.

So when I'm in conflict with another person,

whether I'm the one who has been wronged

or whether I'm the one who has done the wrong,

it's my responsibility to go to that other person

to get the ball rolling and begin the conversation.

Here's the second step.

Be straightforward about the problem.

When you go to that other person,

how are you supposed to talk to that person?

Be very straightforward and allow the other person

to be very straightforward about the problems that you have

that have caused that conflict.

That's what Laban does, verses 26-32.

He comes to Jacob and he basically says,

I've got two problems with you.

First, you've taken my household gods,

and second, you left my household,

packed everything up without even telling me.

You did it in secret.

And Jacob responds to that in a very straightforward way.

He says, I left in secret because I was afraid

you'd take my family away from me.

I was afraid you'd take your daughters back.

And number two, I don't know anything

about your household gods.

We'll say more about that in just a moment.

Notice how both of them are very straightforward.

They're not beating around the bush.

They're not ignoring the elephant in the room.

They're not tiptoeing around the subject.

Instead, they hit it head on.

As Laban looks for his household gods,

Jacob, beginning in verse 36, speaks from his anger,

which might not be the best thing to do

when we're in conflict with somebody,

when I'm being straightforward about the problem.

But he's just so fed up that it explodes.

He tells Laban, here's how you've wronged me.

And here's all the things you've done to me.

But God was with me.

And if God hadn't been on my side,

then you surely would have devoured me.

But God continued to bless me,

and God continued to prosper me.

You look at the conversation that happens

between these two men.

They're very straightforward

about the problems that they have.

If you want to work through conflict,

go to the other person, begin the conversation.

What does the conversation look like?

Let's be very straightforward about the issue here.

I don't know what you might be thinking.

I don't know the problems that you might have,

but I'm going to allow you to talk about it.

And when it's my turn,

I'm going to talk about the issues.

I'm going to talk about the problems that I have too.

Now, we need to be very kind.

We need to be gentle.

We need to be humble.

But I believe based on this passage,

we can also be very straightforward.

We can be very intentional in saying,

here's the issues that I have.

I want to put that out on the table.

And I'm going to allow you to put your issues

out on the table too.

Here's the third thing.

Know the facts.

Know the facts.

We said in verse number 19

that Rachel had taken the household gods,

but Jacob didn't know it, the text tells us.

And so when Laban says,

where are my household gods?

I believe you've taken them.

He says, I don't know anything about that.

And he makes a very presumptuous statement.

If anybody with me is found with your household gods,

then they shall be put to death.

What would have happened

if Laban would have discovered

that Rachel actually had his household gods?

Is it possible that she could have been put to death

because Jacob didn't know all the facts?

I think whenever we're working through conflict,

we need to do all that we can

to make sure that we know all the facts.

Now, sometimes you can't help what you don't know,

but we need to spend time with questions like these.

What am I missing?

What am I overlooking here?

What are my blind spots?

What am I not seeing in the midst of this conflict?

Somebody else might really be able to help you with that.

Go to the other person.

Be straightforward about the problem.

Make sure you know all the facts.

If you don't know all the facts,

there can be some very serious and negative consequences.

And then number four,

pursue a resolution that promotes peace and honors God.

Now, more than likely, Laban in verses 43 through 55,

he's speaking from a place

where he's kind of tucking his tail,

he's saving face just a little bit

because he knows he's been bested by Jacob.

That's what a lot of commentators would suggest.

But Laban makes the suggestion,

let's make a covenant with one another.

And in this covenant, we're going to promote peace.

Here's how they did it.

They drew a line in the sand and said,

you don't cross over it to come to me,

and I won't cross over it to come to you.

That's how they would promote peace in this relationship,

in the midst of this conflict.

But notice that their resolution also honors God.

It puts God at the center of it.

May God watch over us when we're apart from one another.

It talks about God judging between them

and witnessing between them.

So when you're in conflict with somebody,

why would you go to that other person?

Why would you be very straightforward about the problem

and allow that person to be straightforward about the problem?

Why would you do the work and the thinking and the reflection

to make sure that you know all the facts?

It's because ultimately you have this goal, number four,

of pursuing a resolution that promotes peace.

Now, it's going to look different

depending on the situation,

depending on the type of conflict,

depending on the person that you're in conflict with.

But I want to find a resolution in this specific circumstance

where peace is going to reign,

but that can't be the extent of it.

You and I could dream up peaceful resolutions

that don't honor God,

that are not centered on the will of God.

And so once we think of a peaceful resolution,

let's take a step forward to ask,

does this honor God?

Does this honor God's will?

Does this honor what God wants and what God desires?

So ultimately, when we're working through conflict,

this is the goal.

I want a resolution that will, number one, promote peace,

but a resolution that also honors my Creator.

Now, I know that there's a lot of other things

that could be said from Genesis 29 through 31.

It's a rich passage of Scripture.

There are other points that could be made.

There are other principles that could be drawn out.

But I hope that these five are really encouraging to us

as we've studied together over the last few moments.

Number one, a lesson about God's providence.

Leave here knowing, even if you don't see it right now,

God is at work in your life.

A lesson about honesty.

Let's not be like Jacob and Laban,

interacting with people through lies and deception.

Instead, let your yes be yes and your no be no.

A lesson about God working in

and through messy, broken families.

Maybe you look at your own family

and you feel discouraged about some things.

God's not done with you.

God can still use you for His glory.

A lesson about following God's guidance.

Wherever God leads, that's where I want to go.

I want to follow His direction.

And then finally, a lesson about working through conflict.

Who is that person that you're in conflict with right now?

What do you need to do with these four ideas,

verses 25 through 55, to work through that

and come to a resolution that promotes peace

and honors God?

My prayer is that these lessons from Jacob and Laban,

Genesis 29 through 31, they'll help us to love God more.

They'll help us to be more like Christ

and to better serve those who we're around on a daily basis.

Thank you so much for your time.

Thank you for your attention.

Thank you for being here and prioritizing spiritual things.

God bless.