Equipped 2026: Ladies: "Examining the Life of Esau" by Bethany Butt

Thank you for that introduction. I'm so happy to be here with you guys this

afternoon. It's been a blessing already to be a part of this event. I sat in classes all day

that have just absolutely enriched my understanding of Genesis and enriched

the study that I'm looking forward to sharing with you guys about the life

that he saw. Okay, I'm going to start off by talking to you about a very famous

psychological experiment called the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment. You

might have heard about this or a variation of this. There's a period of

time where families were filing this in their own homes with their own preschool

students. The structure of this experiment was in the late 1960s and

early 1970s. Two psychologists at Stanford developed this study in order

to determine a preschool age four to five year old child's ability to have

self-control and delay gratification. And so the way the experiment was set up, a

four or five year old child was brought into a room, a pretty distraction free

environment, a table and chair, not much else, and they were given a big fat fluffy

white marshmallow and they were given instructions. We're going to leave you here

with this marshmallow for 15 minutes and if you are able to not eat this

marshmallow and when I come back in the room you will get another marshmallow.

Okay, I'm seeing looks on faces that tell me you guys have seen some of these videos. I would

encourage you, if you're ever looking for a little wholesome entertainment, go look

up a few of these videos. And there's also a lot of spiritual application and

preaching content you can make as you watch the little four and five year old

children interact with their marshmallows. The ones that are successful

impressively have all kinds of strategies such as pushing the marshmallow away from

where they can see it, they don't touch it much. One little child even managed to

go to sleep so that they could make it until the teacher came back into the room. The ones who are not

successful, interesting to watch them too, because they're the ones that were

prone to picking it up and looking at it closely and before you knew it, they had taken a lick of it and once that happened it was pretty much over. So why would they be talking about marshmallows as we talk about the life of ESOL? Because there are so many lessons that we can learn from ESOL that involve the ability to delay gratification in our lives.

Okay, we're going to start. For the first little bit, I want to just look at the review for most of you guys at the key events in the life of ESOL. And we're going to start with his birth. This is found in Genesis chapter 25. We know that ESOL's life was prophesied about while he was still in the womb. Genesis 25, verses 22-23 tells us the children struggled together within her, Rebecca,

Genesis 25 · chapter mention Genesis 25:22–23

and she said, if it is such, why is this happening to me? So she went to inquire of the Lord, verse 23. And the Lord said to her, two nations are in your womb and two peoples from within you will be divided. The one shall become stronger than the other, the older shall serve the younger. And that is the prophecy that predicts what will happen of these two twin boys.

We know ESOL struggled with his twin brother Jacob in the womb before they ever took their first breath of air. These brothers were in a struggle. Verse 24-26 gives us the details of their delivery. ESOL was born first. He was red, covered in hair. And his brother Jacob was holding on to his heel.

ESOL's name means Perry. And Jacob's name means the planter or heel grabber. And today, sometimes we might even hear the term heel grabber used for somebody who is known for being involved in trickery or deception.

Now when you think about twins, we know birth order is important. We live in a neighborhood and there's a family that lives three houses up the street from us and they have five children ages nine on down and they seem to be everywhere. They're riding their bikes, they're riding their scooters, they're in the trees. They are everywhere.

And so a few nights ago we were out for a walk and we came upon these kids and stopped to talk for a minute. And it's been a little while since we've visited with them so we were reviewing some things, kind of asking them, you know, how old are you guys now? And there's a set of twins, twin little girls. And they're about five years old.

And so as we were asking them about their ages, they were proud to tell us they were five. And I was already in study for this lesson. So this was on my mind and I said, who's older? And all of the siblings pointed to the one little girl and they all proudly announced, she is five minutes older. And so that matters. It matters even when you're a twin who is born first.

Okay, what was the life of Esau like? Family life for Esau? We can find out about this in Genesis chapter 25.

Genesis 25 · chapter mention

Genesis 25, 28 is a short and simply worded verse that packs a lot of information and paints a pretty clear picture of the family dynamics in place here. And the verse says that Isaac loved Esau because he ate at his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob.

And I put a highlight over the word but because that short little word packs a lot of meaning. It's not and Rebekah loved Jacob, but there is a contrast represented by that word. So within that household, we see a pretty big problem.

We have two twin boys, but they're very different. The scripture tells us their personalities are different, their interests are different. And within this household, we see that there is a toxic family dynamic of favoritism. One that will repeat across generations to come.

As I was working on this section, I got to thinking about Christmas at my house. And I don't know how many of you might be like I am, but December 22nd, 23rd rolls around and I start mentally counting the presents. I'm thinking, okay, I want to make sure that they seem about even.

Because if you spend much time studying the patriarchs, you come away with a very clear understanding that favoritism does bad things in families. And so, my children are all older. Our youngest is 18, our oldest is 22, so they've understood for a long time different presents cost different amounts of money.

Everyone has asked for an electronic that's more expensive, but I'm still going to try to give them the same number of presents to open. I have to wrap up a box of cereal or a two-inch toothpaste where you don't want to have something to open. And so, we know from observing and learning about these families that there are some patterns there that we want to make sure we protect our own families against when we're able to.

Okay, key event, the selling of his birthright. This is found in Genesis 25, 29-34. I was thinking about if you've ever been watching a movie and you see a main character moving toward a really bad decision and you feel inside like don't do that, no don't. You know what's coming and what's about to happen and what the consequences will be.

You think about what happened in Genesis 25, 29-34. I'm just going to read that. It's a short passage.

Esau said, I'm about to die. Of what use is a birthright to me? Jacob said, swear to me now. So he swore to him and sold his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau bread and lentil stew and he ate and drank and rose and went his way. Thus, Esau decides his birthright.

This is probably the incident where Esau is the most widely known for when Jacob stole his birthright away.

In verse 31, Jacob uses Esau's weakness to convince him to make a terrible trade, but he could never have succeeded if Esau had been thinking correctly about things.

When we see in verse 32, Esau convinces himself that he is on the brink of starvation. Now, we know he had made it back to the camp. There was food accessible to him. I think it's very safe to say that he would not have starved to death.

I have recently heard of a situation where some girls were explaining to me a terrible decision they made. A decision that got them in a little bit of trouble. Nothing major, but they were explaining to me they had nowhere else to go but this one place that they were not supposed to be at.

In my mind, I thought, nowhere else to go? I mean, God always gives you options. Esau lied to himself and that is what played into Jacob's ability to trick him.

More key events in the life of Esau. Esau is now about the age of 40 years old and we are going to get a glimpse into Mary's life for Esau.

Genesis chapter 26. I have put some starting verses, but there are some verses that follow. Genesis 26 verse 34 and 35.

Genesis 26 · chapter mention Genesis 26:34

When Esau was 40 years old, he took Judas, the daughter of Theri the Hittite, to be his wife, and Bathsheba, the daughter of Elam the Hittite, and they made life bitter for Isaac and Rebekah.

Then Rebekah said to Isaac, I love my life because of the Hittite women. If Jacob marries one of the Hittite women like these, one of the women of the land, what good will my life be to me?

So we see that Esau has involved himself with the idol-worshipping women around them and it has brought terrible grief to his parents.

Genesis 28 verse 6. We see another description of a third wife that Esau has. Before we get into that, I want to paint a little picture.

Genesis 28:6

I work at a school and we've got a lot of kindergartners that come our way and as you all probably read about and heard about, the COVID kindergartners made their arrival on the scene this past year and it was quite an experience to watch that unfold.

Anytime there's a student that starts to struggle, some of us come in and convene in what's called a support team and we try to help the teacher problem solve and work with the parents, go in the classroom and see how we can support and encourage.

There was a kindergartner that arrived to us this year and within two or three days of school, we all knew his name and that is never a good thing. So within the first few weeks of school, several of us were visiting in the classroom trying to observe to see what was going on, if there was anything we could do to improve the outcome for the teacher or the other kids.

I watched a little friend in that classroom that I've never seen a child be so impulsive as this child that I watched. He talked all the time, that was the teacher's problem, he's a sweet little boy, but he never stopped talking. He did not really think about obeying her either.

Multiple things going on, but while I was in there watching and she would praise the other students to try to shape his behavior, well he suddenly would comply with the directions the teacher was giving but he made sure that she knew about it.

He said, I'm going to my seat now, I'm getting out my pencil, now I'm doing my work. So even as he was trying to comply with the teacher, he was causing a whole other type of disruption.

So we're going to see that Esau realizes that his parents are unhappy with his choice of wife. He recognizes that he has damaged the relationship by bringing these women into their lives.

So instead of evaluating his choices and asking himself the most important questions, he goes, like you see in Genesis 28 verse 6, how he tries to fix the problem.

Genesis 28:6

Now Esau saw that Isaac had blessed Jacob and sent him away to Paddan Aram to take a wife from there and that as he blessed him, he directed him, you must not take a wife from the Canaanite women, which is what Esau had done, and that Jacob had obeyed his father and his mother and gone to Paddan Aram.

So when Esau saw that the Canaanite women did not please Isaac, his father, Esau went to Ishmael and took as his wife, besides the wife he had, Mahalah, the daughter of Ishmael, Abraham's son, the sister of Nebaioth.

So instead of truly solving problems, Esau yet again acts impulsively and adds to his troubles.

Alright, the deception. This is a story that involves the entire family. It's found in Genesis chapter 27.

Genesis 27 · chapter mention

I'm going to summarize. So Jacob, we know Rebekah, Jacob was her favorite.

And so Jacob and Rebekah plotted to trick Isaac, who was now unable to see well.

And so they used the skins of young goats to imitate Esau's skin texture, and they used his clothing to ensure that the smell of Esau would fully convince Isaac.

And Isaac, the text tells us, noticed there was a difference in the voice, but all the other efforts that they went to caused him to override his doubts and grant the blessing to Jacob instead of Esau.

So the blessing that was intended for Esau is stolen away by trickery and deceit of his mother and his brother.

And imagine a double whammy when your mother has conspired against you.

And Esau's reaction is found in verse 36.

Esau said, Is he not rightly named Jacob? For he has cheated me these two times.

He took away my birthright, and behold, now he has taken away my blessing.

And so there's a conversation between Esau and Isaac where he asked about, is there any blessing left?

And there was a smaller, much less significant blessing that he was able to receive.

And if you look at the end of verse 38, Esau lifted up his voice and wept.

Esau was devastated by this situation.

And we see in chapter 27, verse 41, this family is completely fractured.

Now Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing with which his father had blessed him.

And Esau said to himself, the days of mourning for my father are approaching, then I will kill my brother Jacob.

So he is plotting to kill Jacob at this point.

Rebekah learns of this plot and makes a plan to keep Jacob safe

by sending him away to find a wife from a nation that recognized God

instead of the idol-worshipping nations around them.

So this is a family in crisis.

In Genesis chapter 33, we see a beautiful story.

Genesis 33 · chapter mention

This part of Esau's life is different from the other parts we've talked about.

In Genesis chapter 33, 20 years have passed since Jacob deceived his father and stole Esau's blessing.

Genesis 33 · chapter mention

And in those 20 years, you have to imagine what was always in the back of Jacob's mind.

A long time before the communication that we have today.

We can track where people are and know where people are on their phone.

We have a lot of information about people they did not have.

And I'm going to imagine that Jacob was watching over his shoulder for 20 years.

That would be an exhausting place to live.

So for 20 years, the last knowledge he had of his twin brother was that he wanted to kill him.

And scripture records a moment in this chapter that gives us something positive to talk about.

Like I said, the last time they were together, there was a plot to kill Jacob.

And now Jacob hears that Esau is in the area and he's concerned.

He doesn't know what he's there for.

In Genesis chapter 33, verse 4, we see the verse says,

Genesis 33:4

But Esau ran to meet him.

Now just stop right there. You can start from reading ahead.

Esau is running toward Jacob.

You can imagine that Jacob is thinking,

Is he coming to attack me?

Is he going to complete his scheme?

Or can you imagine what his heart felt like when we read the next part of that verse?

Embraced him, fell on his neck, and kissed him, and they wept.

So we see here a beautiful story of reconciliation between the brothers.

Also, there's a parallel.

Think in your mind for a moment about another time when we see forgiveness happening with the action of running.

And that's Luke 15, where the prodigal son, the father, ran out to meet him.

Just as Esau ran to meet Jacob.

We're going to look a little bit more at this interaction in a few moments.

Okay, the final mention of Esau is in Hebrews chapter 12, verse 15.

Hebrews 12:15

Okay, we know Hebrews chapter 11 is the faith hall of fame,

Hebrews 11 · chapter mention

where people are called by name, mentioned for their faithful actions and their faithful lives.

And shortly after that, and please remember that there were no chapter breaks,

so this is really within the same written text.

So after keeping the praise and pointing our attention to the positive examples in Hebrews chapter 11,

Hebrews 11 · chapter mention

we see in chapter 12, verse 15,

it says,

So look at the way that the final mention of Esau, which occurs in Hebrews, describes him.

So, you talk about things you said to her, and what associated with your name.

Profane, sexually immoral, sold his birthright for a single meal.

He was a foolish man, and it's clear that it says he did not repent.

So, some lessons from Esau.

The first lesson from Esau, the one I think we have to take away above all the others,

is that rejecting the spiritual world leads to destruction.

So, this is really a story of twin brothers.

You know, scientists love to study twins, because they have so many factors in common.

They are born on the same day most of the time.

I suppose there's times when you could have a midnight birth, but they're born usually the same time.

They're the same family members.

There's so many variables that they share that make them an interesting study.

And these brothers had so many factors in common, but there was one key difference between them,

and it was everything.

Esau focused only on the physical world.

That bowl of soup was all he could think about.

He wanted what he wanted, and he had to have it immediately, whether it was food, whether it was a woman.

He wanted it, and he was going to have it.

No thought for the future.

That's the most spiritually immature mindset anybody could ever have.

And Jacob, even though we know as we read about Jacob's story there were flaws and mistakes,

he was receptive to the spiritual world.

He understood that it was there.

And even though his journey was not linear, it was not a clear straight,

his journey was like this.

You know, like a lot of our journeys.

But he was constantly struggling towards the spiritual.

Esau's life was characterized by broken relationships, and most significantly, his broken relationship with God.

Esau wanted God's blessings, but he did not want God.

He didn't want any rules.

He didn't want any expectations.

He wanted the blessings.

And we're going to notice that when he was grieved, it was never over the right thing.

It was over losing things he wanted.

And he never valued his relationship with God.

Esau's grief and disappointment is well documented.

But he never let it reshape his life or his past.

And so all of Esau's pain was wasted.

We all have disappointment and pain in our life.

What we do with it determines our outcome.

Esau could have let these situations shape him toward God.

And instead, they were all wasted.

The grief, the pain, the disappointment was for nothing in his life.

Another lesson from Esau.

There's a high price to pay when we do not value our birthright.

Well, you might think we don't really have a birthright, but we do.

We have an even better birthright.

Our birthright is an opportunity to be in heaven one day.

And Esau sold his birthright for a single bowl of pottage.

Now, we think, who would do such a thing?

That sounds crazy to us.

But this trade is happening all the time.

I thought this graphic was so perfect because anything that stands in that gap,

that represents something that separates us from God,

and a chance to live with Him in eternity,

that's the bowl of pottage.

It's the same thing.

Anything that we're willing to trade for our birthright,

our spiritual birthright as a Christian.

Now, it's not hard to look around and look at what people are trading for their birthright.

Lots of times, it's a relationship that they want and they decided they're going to have.

Sometimes it's the pursuit of wealth or influence or popularity.

There's any number of things that people allow to come between themselves and God.

Okay.

Another lesson from Esau.

We do not get to choose the consequences of our mistakes.

Esau insisted on making any choice he wanted without accepting responsibility for that choice.

He seemed shocked every time.

And it was like he did not seem to recognize that he was the reason these things were happening.

His decisions led to irreversible loss.

Loss of privileges and possessions with the birthright and the blessing.

Loss of relationships with his parents.

A very difficult relationship with his brother.

And the most ultimate loss of all was the loss of his soul.

Proverbs 28, verse 6 tells us,

Proverbs 28:6

Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.

I told you we would revisit this because I love studying this part of the lesson.

The bright spot from Esau that we can read about and learn some positive things about him.

The interaction that happens in Genesis chapter 33.

Genesis 33 · chapter mention

It's a beautiful, a beautiful study on seeking forgiveness and granting that forgiveness.

So these brothers come back together.

The text tells us, for a little bit of context here with time.

Just before Jacob and Esau had this interaction, Jacob had wrestled with God.

And we know as a result of that wrestling with God, he was permanently, his hip was out of place.

And so he is limping at this point.

So I want you to take a moment.

I want you to picture a man who has lived with the guilt of knowing what he did to his brother.

And knowing that he's about to face that brother for the first time in 20 years.

And as he approaches him, if you can just imagine this.

He is limping and bowing down.

And that is a picture of someone who is physically broken but spiritually healed.

And so he is saying to him, I recognize the harm I did to you and I am going to make it right.

And that came after a full and total submission to God.

In verse 11, if you'll see the wording there, please accept my blessing that is brought to you.

And what I did for this lesson, I found it interesting that some translations mistranslate the word to be gift or present.

But the word goes back to the very same blessing that he had tricked his brother from.

And so he is using that same word which I believe accurately represents his heart.

He wanted to make the wrong right.

He is offering Esau, please accept my blessing.

And at first Esau declines. He doesn't want it. He says, I don't need it.

I have made my own way in the world and I have a lot of material possessions of my own.

But in the end, I believe to benefit Jacob, Esau does accept it.

And like I mentioned earlier, we see the beautiful visual in our mind of Esau running to meet his brother.

Where the forgiveness was freely granted.

And sadly, Esau shows us that you can reconcile without repentance.

You would think from this interaction that Esau might have changed and turned his life in a different direction.

But he did not. He did reconcile with his brother.

They never lived together or worked together after this.

But that harm that was between them was finally settled and forgiven.

A life without spiritual discipline brings destruction and misery.

That brings us to the question.

Esau was a man who was absolutely ruled by his feelings and his emotions.

And so how should a Christian view and process feelings?

Feelings are a part of our lives. They are a part of the human experience.

They are gifted to us by God.

We have to know what to do with them.

In 2 Corinthians 10 verses 4-5 it says,

2 Corinthians 10:4–5

We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God,

and take every thought captive to obey Christ.

Okay, our thoughts can be unreliable and they can also be untrue.

But we are not our thoughts.

Esau operated off of his feelings, whatever thought was crossing his mind at the time.

There was no comparison of thoughts and feelings to God's will.

We had a Summer Series speaker last year.

This is a simple statement, but it made a big impact on me.

The preacher said, Ben Diles, he's a local preacher in our area,

and he said, you can behave your way to a faithful life.

And I thought, you know what? That's true.

It's the next right decision.

And so we will not behave our way to a perfect life,

but we can behave our way to a faithful life

by keeping on trying to do the next right thing.

Spiritual discipline.

Late in the day, the last class before we break for dinner,

I've gotten to hear a lot of speakers,

and it's interesting, a lot of us have drawn a lot of the same conclusions from Genesis,

as we've evaluated the lives of the patriarchs and people that we can learn from,

and a huge lesson that we can remember is that spiritual discipline equals growth, not perfection.

And that very thing popped up during the ladies' panel.

I think a lot of you guys were in here to hear that.

And so we can learn from the life of Jacob that spiritual discipline,

he was growing always, never perfect, but always growing.

Finally, I want to talk about a little extension of the marshmallow experiment.

So to review, the marshmallow experiment, they were given one marshmallow,

they could wait 15 minutes, they got a second one.

Well, this is a very famous experiment, and it's been replicated,

and people have added parts to trial and test different aspects.

But it was a very interesting extension of the marshmallow experiment that I read about.

They took the same age children, 4 and 5-year-olds,

that's about the time that self-control starts to develop in children.

They took 4 and 5-year-old children, and before they ran the marshmallow experiment on them,

they did a first experiment.

They took the kids into the room, gave them a little art project to do,

with a few crayons on the desk.

Now the marshmallow is part of this graphic, but it wasn't part of what the children were seeing.

And they said to the children, here's some crayons,

and remember these are broken, old, used crayons.

Uninteresting to kids.

Here's some crayons you can use, but I'm going to leave the room,

and when I come back, I'm going to bring a whole box of brand new art supplies,

and you can use those.

If you want, you can use those.

And so the examiners were not out of the room for very long.

It wasn't the 15 minutes that the marshmallow experiment required.

They left the room for a few minutes, and within a few minutes they came back,

and in half of the kids, the examiner came back to the room holding the art supplies they had told them about.

And they brought them in markers, and glare markers, and sharp new crayons,

and things that would make the kids excited and happy.

And so half of the kids got the thing that was promised.

The other half of the kids, the examiner came back in the room and said,

you know what, I'm sorry, I was wrong about that.

I don't have any more art supplies after all.

So that happened here.

The same group of children, a week later, stood through the marshmallow experiment.

So now they've got this background.

Some of them have had an experience where the examiner was reliable, truthful, and followed through.

The other half had an opposite experience where the examiner did not keep their word, did not follow through.

You can imagine the impact that the first experiment had on the second experiment.

So that group of children were divided in half.

The first half, the kids who the examiner had showed up with the promised art supplies.

Do you think they were able to wait on that second marshmallow?

They were, because they had evidence and proof that the person was going to do what they said they would do.

The second group, do you think they waited on their marshmallows?

Only one of the children took that risk and waited on the marshmallows.

Because the other one said, I can't trust that person.

That person doesn't do what he or she said he would do.

So they said, I'm not waiting, I'm eating my marshmallows.

What's the application there?

Hebrews 11 verse 6

Hebrews 11:6

Esau had a completely different outcome from his brother for one simple reason.

He did not seek the Lord.

The Lord took care of the bloodline of Christ when he shifted it from Esau to Jacob.

He, through that bloodline, made a way for all of us today to have a hope to be in heaven.

Esau's life is tragic, but we can learn from him.

We can learn from his brother.

We can be together to study and grow spiritually toward the reward that we all want.

I'm going to go ahead and close us in prayer.

God the Father in heaven, thank you so much for this day.

Thank you for this workshop and the time that we've gotten to spend studying from the book of Genesis.

And the wisdom that we can learn from the people who've been before us.

Lord, please help us to take the things that we've learned from the life of Esau and use them

to avoid the mistakes that he made and the separation that he created between himself and you, Lord.

Lord, we thank you for your son Jesus and the lifeline that he's created between us and you, Lord.

And we thank you for the way that you chose to bring him to this earth,

for his sinless life, and for the gift that he gave on the cross that allows us to one day all be together in eternity.

Please bless us as we leave here and go to dinner.

Help us to have a good, safe rest of the evening as we continue to study.

In your son Jesus' name we pray. Amen.