Lent 5 2023

Blessed is the Lord who forgiveth all our sin.

God mercy endureth forever.

Let us give thanks to God for all the gifts freely bestowed upon us.

For the beauty and wonder of your creation in earth and sky and sea.

We thank you, Lord, for all that is gracious in the lives of women and men, revealing the image of Christ.

We thank you, Lord, for our daily food and drink, our homes and families and our friends.

We thank you, Lord, for minds to think, and hearts to love and hands to serve.

We thank you, Lord.

For health and strength to work and leisure to rest and play.

We thank you, Lord.

For the brave and courageous who are patient in suffering and faithful in adversity.

We thank you, Lord.

For all valiant seekers after truth, liberty, and justice.

We thank you, Lord.

For the communion of saints in all times and places.

We thank you, Lord.

Above all, we give you thanks for the great mercies and promises given to us in Christ Jesus our Lord.

To you praise the Lord, with you, O Father, and the Holy Spirit, now and forever.

Amen.

Let's pray together, Almighty God, and who all hearts are open, all desires known, and from whom no secrets are hidden.

Cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, that we may perfectly love thee and perfectly magnify your holy name through Christ our Lord.

Amen.

Hear what our Lord Jesus Christ saith: Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

This is the first and greatest commitment.

And the second is like unto it.

Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.

On these two commitments hang all of the Torah and the prophets.

Let us pray.

Almighty God, you alone can bring into order the unruly wills and affections of sinners.

Grant your people grace to love what you command and desire what you promise.

That among the swift and varied changes of the world, our hearts may surely there be fixed where true joys are to be found.

Through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you in the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.

Amen.

As you're being seated, our children are invited to children's chapel with Mr.

Alex in the back.

The hand of the Lord came upon me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me down in the middle of a valley.

It was full of bombs.

He led me all around them.

There were very many lying in the valley, and they were very dry.

He said to me, Marvel, can these bonds live?

I answered, Oh Lord God, you know.

Then he said to me, Prophesy to these bonds and say to them, Oh dry bones, hear the word of the Lord.

Thus says the Lord God to these bonds, I will cause breath to enter you and you shall live.

I will lay sinews on you and will cause flesh to come upon you and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and you shall live, and you shall know that I am the Lord.

So I prophesied as I had been commanded, and as I prophesied, suddenly there was a noise, a rattling, and the bonds came together, bond to its bond.

I looked, and there were sinews on them, and flesh had come upon them, and skin had covered them, and there was no breath in them.

Then he said to me, Prophesy to the breath, prophesy, mortal, and say to the breath, thus says the Lord God, come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe upon thee the slam that they may live.

I prophesied as he commanded me, and the breath came into them, and they lived, and stood on their feet, a vast multitude.

Then he said to me, Mortal, these bones are the whole house of Israel.

They say, Our bones are dried up, and our hope is lost.

We are cut off completely.

Therefore prophesy and say to them, Thus says the Lord God, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from your graves.

O my people, and I will bring you back to the land of Israel.

And you shall know that I am the Lord when I open your graves and bring you up from your graves.

Oh my people, I will put my spirit within you, and you shall live.

And I will place you on your own soil.

Then you shall know that I, the Lord, have spoken and will act, says the Lord.

Hear what the Spirit is saying to God's people.

The psalm, we will read responsively by the half verse.

Out of the depths I excuse me.

Out of the depths have I called you, O Lord.

Lord, hear my voice.

Let your ears consider well the voice of my supplication.

If you, Lord, were to note what is done amiss, O Lord, who would stand.

For there is forgiveness with you.

Therefore you shall be feared.

I wait for you, O Lord.

My soul waits for you.

In your word is my hope.

My soul waits for the Lord more than centuries for the morning.

More than centuries for the morning.

O Israel, wait for the Lord.

There is plenty of redemption with the Lord.

For this reason, the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God.

It does not submit to God's law.

Indeed, it cannot.

And those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

But you are not in the flesh.

You are in the spirit.

Anyone who does not have the spirit of Christ does not belong to him.

But if Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, the spirit is life because of righteousness.

If the spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will give life to your mortal bodies, also through his spirit that dwells in you.

Hear what the Spirit is saying to God's people.

Thanks be to God.

Glory be to thee, Lord Christ.

Now a certain man was ill, Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha.

Mary was the one who anointed the Lord with perfume and wiped his feet with her hair.

Her brother Lazarus was ill.

So the sisters sent a message to Jesus, Lord, he whom you love is ill.

But when Jesus heard it, he said, This illness does not lead to death, rather it is for God's glory, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.

Accordingly, though Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus, after having heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was.

Then after this he said to the disciples, Let us go to Judea again.

The disciples said to him, Rabbi, the Jewish leaders were just now trying to stone you, and are you going there again?

Jesus answered, Are there not twelve hours of daylight?

Those who walk during the day do not stumble because they see the light of this world.

But those who walk at night stumble because the light is not in them.

After saying this, he told them, Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I am going there to awaken him.

The disciples said to him, Lord, if he's fallen asleep, he will be all right.

Jesus, however, had been speaking about his death, but they thought he was referring merely to sleep.

So Jesus told them plainly, Lazarus is dead.

For your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe, but let us go to him.

Thomas, who was called the twin, said to his fellow disciples, Let us also go that we may die with him.

When Jesus arrived, he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb four days.

Now Bethany was near Jerusalem, some two miles away, and many of the Judeans had come to Martha and Mary to console them about their brother.

When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went and met him while Mary stayed at home.

Martha said to Jesus, Lord, if you'd been here, my brother would not have died.

But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask of him.

Jesus said to her, Your brother will rise again.

Martha said to him, Oh, I know he'll rise again in the resurrection on the last day.

Jesus said to her, I am the resurrection and the life.

Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die.

Do you believe this?

She said to him, Oh, yes, Lord, I believe you're the Messiah, the Son of God, the one coming into the world.

When she said this, she went back and called her sister Mary and told her privately, The teacher is here and is calling for you.

And when she heard it, she got up quickly and went to him.

Now Jesus had not yet come into the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him.

The Judeans who were with her in the house, consoling her, saw Mary get up and quickly go out.

They followed her because they thought she was going to the tomb to weep there.

When Mary came where Jesus was and saw him, she knelt at his feet and said to him, Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.

Jesus saw her weeping, and the Judeans who came with her also weeping.

He was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved.

He said, Where have you laid him?

They said to Jesus, Lord, come and see.

Jesus began to weep.

The Judeans said, See how he loved him.

But some of them said, Could not the one who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?

And then Jesus again greatly disturbed, came to the tomb.

It was a cave, and a stone was lying against him.

Jesus said, Take away the stone.

Martha, the sister of the dead man, said to him, Lord, already there is a stench because he has been dead four days.

Jesus said to her, Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?

So they took away the stone.

And Jesus looked upward and said, Father, I thank you for having heard me.

I knew that you always hear me, but I've said this for the sake of the crowd standing here, so that they may believe that you sent me.

When he said this, he cried out with a loud voice, Lazarus, come out.

The dead man came out, his hands and feet bound with strips of cloth and his face wrapped in the cloth.

And Jesus said to those in attendance, Unbind him and let him go.

Many of the Judeans, therefore, who had come with Mary and had seen what Jesus did, believed in him.

The gospel of the Lord.

In the name of the Father, and the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Amen.

Please be seated.

You know, we really have another 13 days in Lent, but just a reminder: this is effectively our last Sunday with the purple.

Next week we'll come in, it will be Palm Sunday.

Things will be red, and the tone will be, frankly, rather different.

And so I just want to remind you of part of why we do Lent and the opportunity we have left in 13 days.

And you might be thinking, that's not enough time.

Well, we'll do it again next year, but actually it is enough time for you to do something effectual.

So, reminder to you, maybe you know this, Ramadan begins today.

Ramadan is one of the five pillars of Islam, and it is a 28-day, that's the number of days in the lunar month.

It's a 28-day fast.

That is to say, during daylight hours, our Muslim brothers and sisters neither eat nor drink.

That's a big ask in Texas, right?

Especially when it falls in July.

So what that means is that our Muslim brothers and sisters are getting up before the sun is apparent in the sky, 615.

They're making their first prayer.

They have a feast, enough food, to last them until the sun is no longer visible in the sky.

That'll be 7.45.

They'll make their last prayer and they'll eat.

And if you went to the Islamic center, you heard the Imam say very clearly, this is a strong parallel.

Some people make it just about the food.

The food is a signal to go deeper.

We are to fast from malice, condemnation, vengeance, from hardening our hearts.

The food is meant to be like a reminder.

Anytime you're hungry, remember the greater thing to embrace empathy, compassion, openness.

Tie what you need to this physical symbol so when the hunger pains come, that's your reminder clock.

You got 13 more days to do this.

Whatever you are in Lent, 13 more days tied to what can I take on?

It's not about the chocolate, it's not about the wine, it's not about not texting when you drive.

By the way, don't text when you drive.

Just don't.

And when you get the urge to text when you drive, say, aha! I recognize the alarm.

I can do something holier than what I've settled for.

Today I want to put to you that we've got a couple of opportunities.

Look, the dry bones passage, you all know this.

It's a famous spiritual rite about the headbones connected to the neck bone.

You know the song, right?

Hear the word of the Lord.

You're going to hear it again in two weeks if you come to the Easter Vigil.

And look, it's really important to say there is no archaeological evidence that a dead army raised up and went on to win a bunch of campaigns.

If you don't mind me saying, this could literally be true, but more than that, this is a vision.

This is a vision about there being absolute hopelessness and life coming.

And I don't know if you if you remember this, the word for wind is the same word as spirit and breath.

Prophesy to the spirit, Ezekiel.

Tell these people to be inspired.

Inspired, that there can be life where there seems to be no life.

Look, I don't know how to handle this any other way than that this is a figurative vision that sometimes we count people out and we count life out, and God has not agreed to our reckoning.

As I tell my children, and I wish I could remember this myself, it is never too late, although sometimes it gets harder.

That first part is the key.

It is never too late with God.

And I want to hold up to you that in the story that follows with Jesus and these two ladies, by the way, I'm not gonna take either lady to task, but I do want to contrast two ways of being in the story.

And first, let me set up for you.

It's a long story.

You might have felt like, hey, I just did my penance listening to that five-minute gospel.

There's a lot in there.

I'm probably gonna miss what's interesting to you.

Here is what is interesting to me.

Number one, Jesus is not afraid to take his time.

Even though he knows that's gonna result in Lazarus dying.

I'm disappointed with that.

Because I would like God to take away suffering from the world.

I would like that.

But as Anne Lamott said, and I think she's right, God is not there to take away our suffering, but to fill it with God's presence.

So when Mary comes, you can read this however you want.

You could read it as an accusation.

If you'd been there, he wouldn't have died.

I have accused God of that before.

If you were real, this wouldn't have happened.

And look what Jesus' response is.

He didn't say a word.

He enters into a space of empathy and compassion and he weeps with her.

You might wish God would take suffering away from you, but I just want to hold up from you in this story.

That isn't how it works.

Not all the time.

Sometimes we say, God doesn't answer my prayer because God didn't give what I want.

But I want to remind you what we pray every week is, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Sometimes we forget this during Lent.

Death with a small D is not our adversary.

God created it and called it good.

God made our bodies to be temporary, or God would have used something better than dirt.

Iridium, titanium, peafox, by the way, which is in the water you're drinking, and not good for you and going to be there 50,000 years, right?

These plastic chemicals.

God could have used that.

Nope.

God used dirt, and to the dirt we return, and death is not our adversary.

What Jesus is opposed to is death with a capital D.

Isolation.

Lack of dignity.

Lack of empathy or compassion.

In these two responses, and in the buildup, we get to hear that God has a different setting of timing than us.

And if we're realistic about this, we all get that there's two kinds of time in the world ourselves.

In Greek, there's two words.

One is chronos, which is like chronology, minutes, seconds, linear.

The other concept of time in Greek is kairos, and it means, it shows that only twice in the New Testament, it means at just the right time.

If you're like me, you have had in your life like a million opportunities to make a change, but for some reason, on a millionth and one, it crystallized.

You find yourself maybe thinking, like, I cannot believe I didn't do that for 10 years, but then it just showed up.

Like at just the right time.

I don't know if this offends you, but let me show you.

I am married to a strong woman.

If you don't know her, it won't take long to realize that.

And one of the things that my wife pointed out to me very early on in my relationship is how deep structural misogyny is.

Now, I was willing to go some other way.

Let me give you an example.

When my wife goes to court, she's an attorney, this is still true, tries not to go.

She has to bring, especially when she travels, she brings three sets of clothes with her.

Because some judges prefer the pants suit.

Some judges prefer the skirt suit, some judges prefer the dress.

Do you know how many clothes men bring with them?

One.

One.

You may say, Mike, that's silly.

Well, it's sinful, it's wrong.

It's wrong.

Early convert on that.

Let me tell you something really hopeful.

Sometimes we think that the way people vote on women's issues has a lot to do with their party affiliation: Democrat, Republican, Libertarian.

Turns out the single most influential factor in whether somebody votes favorably on women's rights is whether or not they have a daughter.

Makes sense in my own life.

My wife opened the door, and then when I had a daughter, I started to realize people talk about how she looks.

What a cute little girl.

Well, she's intelligent and capable.

She's courageous.

How about you talk about that?

Why do we call little boys leaders and we call little girls bossy?

Because we're steeped in sin.

That's why.

And when we open our eyes, we start to realize, hey, at just the right moment, the right moment for me was I held this little girl who was my heart living outside my body, and I don't want anybody beating my own heart up.

At just the right moment, my eyes started to open.

By the way, I'm not there.

I'm still steeped in it myself, right?

But I hope you realize what I'm talking about.

There's moments sometimes where prejudice gets peeled back, or our eyes are open.

We knew it was always good for us, but we were just missing it.

This is the Kairos time at just the right moment.

Sometimes grace is out of our control when it shows up.

Here are these two responses.

Martha runs up.

She says to Jesus, and look, I can't help read it this way.

You read it your own way, but I read Martha and Jesus as not listening to each other.

I read them as exchanging theological platitudes.

She says, Oh yes, I know there'll be a resurrection.

But notice ten verses later, when Jesus says, roll back the stone, she's the one who gave the right answer, who says, No, Lord.

She's got the right thing to say, and she doesn't believe Jesus.

I want to tell you, if you want to know why most Americans are done with the church, it's because we do this crap.

In moments of sorrow and tragedy, we try to wrap it up with God language and say they're there.

Consider what Mar what Mary does.

She comes to Jesus, she says, if you'd been here, he wouldn't have died.

He doesn't say a word.

He weeps.

He weeps.

We spent a workshop this morning with Dr.

Darlene Hunter talking about better ways of grieving, and this is like a really key point.

Sometimes we want to fix other people's grief, frankly, because we're afraid of our own.

We're afraid of our own loss that we haven't dealt with.

We're afraid that, hey, losing things is some kind of bad thing in life, or it's God's punishment, or it's some kind of faith that we feel terrible, lack of faith that we feel terrible.

And you know, the biggest gift we can often give somebody who's grieving is to show up and be quiet.

And to let them do this thing.

If you'd been here, God, he wouldn't have died.

Listen, God's a big girl or boy.

God can take care of God's self.

God doesn't need you to straighten other people out.

We don't have to say, oh, there's miracles with God, you don't have enough faith.

Let God do that.

Let God take care of people's doubts.

That's not up to us.

The way we embody God is we don't run away from somebody who's in pain.

We're able to say, I can sit with you, I don't have to say anything.

Now, if we want to go somewhere else, I want you to know this.

We read this way back in Epiphany, like this has been ten weeks ago.

And this is a phrase that only shows up.

And remember, when we read the lectionary, like we're reading, the authors of the lectionary presume you're biblically literate.

Like they presume you went to Iwana and you memorized this stuff.

And we don't do a wana.

So you may not know this.

So let me remind you: at the beginning, Jesus is walking by John the Baptist, and John the Baptist says, Look, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world.

A couple of John's disciples say, they start to follow Jesus.

Jesus turns around and says, What do you want?

They say, This is such a silly thing.

Where are you staying?

I want to know why people don't have my opinions.

I want to know why bad things happen to good people like me.

That's what I want to know.

They say, Where are you staying?

And Jesus' response is, come and see.

You can lead into that whatever you want, but it's an invitation.

I think that Jesus is not going to submit to a label.

He's not going to say, I belong to political party Q.

Instead, he says, I'm not a flat person.

You come see where I live, and since you know where that is, then you can come back.

Notice that phrase come and see shows up again.

Jesus says, Where have you laid the dead man?

And they say, come and see.

If you're following the script, he doesn't weep until they say that.

Come and see what we do with people we've relegated to death.

Come and see where we put people we've lost hope in.

We put in a cave, we wrap them up, and we roll a rock over it.

It's gonna sound a little social justicey.

Are there people in your life that you think have no hope of resurrection?

I mean none.

Like the bones are dry.

Like they've been in the tomb for four days, so much so their souls already moved on and they're just a body.

There are people socially we do this to.

When I was living in Georgia, this is when Megan's Law came out.

I don't know if you know about Megan's list.

If you've committed an infraction against a minor sexually, you appear on a list for the rest of your life, and you cannot live within half a mile of a school.

And in Georgia, there was this very famous case of a 16-year-old and a 17-year-old.

The 17-year-old was two weeks older than the 16-year-old, but because he was 17 and she was 16, even though they had consent, he showed up on Megan's list for the rest of his life.

I understand why there's Megan's list.

But tell me, when somebody's on it, who's gonna hire them?

How do you live in this area and not be within half a mile of a school?

When somebody's committed a felony and they have to put that on their job application for the rest of their life, they do.

What are the odds you as an employer will want to hire them?

Oh, I'm a sensible person.

I wouldn't hire a felon.

Then tell me where do they get honest work?

I don't mean to say we need to be silly.

What I mean to say is there are people socially we can sign to tombs and roll the rock over, and we've already had the funeral and they're 23.

Maybe you're that person today because of your grief, because you messed up at work, because your kid did something other people think they shouldn't have done.

I don't know where you are in the story.

But I do hear part of the story saying, Jesus calls people out of tombs.

You notice Jesus doesn't go in.

He says, Lazarus, you come out.

And then he tells everybody around, unbind it.

Take the handcuffs off, you put on it.

I don't want to say that's easily done.

I just want to say, I don't think we do it enough.

I don't know how to fix it.

But as I've said before, there are people in this room who sent what looks like a high school shop project to the moon.

And if we can do that, can we not re-engineer the way we handle people who don't fit our norms?

God, I hope so.

I also want to talk to you about grieving because this showed up today and it shows up in the story.

As I already mentioned, sometimes I think our invitation is frankly just to show up.

And I'm going to tell you, having done this as a clergy person, and it was part of the training, we did something called clinical pastoral education, which means we spent three months visiting people in a hospital we didn't know, being on call in the middle of the night, and sure enough, people would ring the buzzer at two in the morning.

Not that often, it turns out, but it would happen.

And we would go into this room where people were coding, or people had all kinds of tubes and a ventilator on their face.

Scary to face somebody else's mortality.

In fact, I don't know that you can do it until you've dealt with your own.

This is what they tell us in CPE.

If you haven't dealt with your own fear and anxiety, all you're gonna do is project it on the other person.

At our worst, we see something that looks really painful for us and we tell people how to solve it.

Or we look at somebody who is on a ventilator and we go, ugh.

Or we avert our eyes.

Because we're afraid of our own mortality.

Because we're afraid we don't know how to fix somebody who is physically going to die.

I have news for you, you are all physically going to die.

This is how it was made.

And I can tell you, having gone into a hospital room after hospital room, if you go to somebody with a pick line in their arm and you refuse to look at it, you refuse to look at them.

That doesn't mean we're there to be voyeurs.

What that means is we're there to see a human being, a child of God, in a bed.

You won't be, well you would probably be surprised if you knew how many parishioners I visited who want to show me their catheter.

This happens.

Or that they're wearing adult diapers.

I mean, that happens.

Imagine what would happen if, as their priest, I shuddered.

Imagine what would happen if I said, put that away, that's inappropriate.

Imagine what would happen if I cannot make room for somebody in what is likely for them their greatest moment of weakness.

I have missed, I would put it before you, the opportunity to join Jesus in the story and just be there.

Most of us are not going to be called to do the kinds of things I'm talking about.

Most of us aren't.

But I would put to you that something we often miss is just the opportunity to be uncomfortable next to somebody else.

It's okay to be uncomfortable.

It's okay to have anxiety and grief and to be afraid.

And if we can sit with it, we can embody Jesus.

If we run from it, I think we embody the wrong thing.

We talked about this in the workshop this morning, again, with Darlene.

And it was really helpful for one of our folks to say, look, a lot of us are engineers.

We majored in fixing problems.

That's what engineers do, they fix problems.

You know what mathematicians do, they make new ones.

And I just want to remind you of like that really great engineer, Albert Einstein, said, if you give me an hour to solve a problem, I'm gonna spend 50 minutes on the problem before I spend 10 on the solution.

So maybe you're an engineer.

You like to solve problems.

Spend the bulk of your time on the problem before you try to fix.

It's okay that a problem goes unresolved.

People aren't problems.

People do not need you to fix them.

What they would like to know is in the middle of their tombs and being wrapped up with grief and loss and disappointment, can you see God embody in them or not?

Our facial gestures tell the whole story.

If I can't look at the pick line in your arm, I can't see God in distress.

This anxiety that we have over loss and disappointment, this is what leads people to say terrible things like God wanted your child to be a garden in the road in the rose in the garden of heaven.

I hope you've never heard that.

Even more so, I hope you've never said it.

God has a plan.

That's why your mom got cancer.

Just trust.

Wouldn't it be better to be silent?

Wouldn't it be better to say, I don't even know what to say.

So I'm not gonna say anything.

You tell me.

Tell me what this is like for you.

You might have read this this week, and look, I'm gonna tell you this story.

This is more than a this is like two years old now.

So I do need your care.

I just want you to hear.

Two years ago, I joined a club many of you have been in for a long time.

My father had Alzheimer's.

He was in an assisted care facility, and my mom was really sure that the people who were taking care of him were not patient enough.

Like they would try to feed him, and if he didn't cooperate, they'd move on.

She may have been right, I don't know.

So uh my mom went every day.

Assisted living, she went two times a day to feed him to make sure he got enough nutrients.

And so there I was talking to my dad, who didn't know who I was.

Of course, I desperately wanted to have some kind of assurance of peace.

He couldn't give it to me, his brain didn't work.

He thought I was his brother and that it was 1971.

Sometimes he would say things to me that made no sense, and what I wanted was some kind of denoma with him.

This is my dad.

He's dying.

I wanted to have some resolution.

I couldn't have it.

Not on my own terms.

So I focused on what my mom focused on, what I was there to do.

Give him nutrition, feed him.

He could not pick the spoon up to his mouth.

Now it started with ground-up food, right?

Because if the food was too big, he would choke on it or he'd spit it out.

The ground up food, he lost his ability to completely swallow.

Alzheimer's does this, and I don't know if you know this.

At a certain point, you forget how to swallow.

You forget, your heart forgets how to beat.

He forgot how to swallow.

They would sometimes have to vacuum pieces out of his throat so he wouldn't choke on it.

So then we went to blended food.

Then we went to just liquid food.

And I can tell you what I wanted so much was some kind of recognition.

I wanted a moment on my terms, a moment where we were gonna say, It's all right, Dad, or I've got this, or thanks for being here, or hey, I recognize you as my kid.

I wanted something I couldn't have.

And more often than not, I paid attention to what I could have, putting food in his mouth.

I didn't do anything wrong.

I don't have any regrets, but I'm just gonna let you know, I often focused on the least important thing.

I focused on the one thing I can control, scooping up food and getting it to his mouth and hoping he would take the bite.

And I would tell you honestly, I often found myself when he spat it out, or when he, you know, he started saying something with the spoon next to his mouth, right?

And then it would go everywhere.

I often found myself saying, Why can't you just eat the food?

That's what I'm here to give you.

Or, oh my gosh, I've got to wipe this again and start all over.

Or I found myself doing this.

I don't think I'm a stranger to the group here.

Perfectly natural.

And I want to tell you, this is not a point of regret.

I gave what I could.

I wish I'd focused just on sitting in the room.

More than I did.

More than I did.

I focused on what I could do instead of being disappointed.

I couldn't have it what I wanted.

It's okay to sit in disappointment when your parent has also.

It is okay.

To run from that or pretend like you don't have it.

You're lying to yourself, you're lying to God.

Focusing on the mechanics instead of the human being in the bed.

Not the human I remember from five years old, but the human in the bed.

These are the moments I want to suggest that Jesus is asking us to cultivate in ourselves with one another.

The question is not, will we do it?

The question is, will we both be bold enough to join Jesus in doing it?

Jesus shows up.

He's got nothing to say to Mary.

He cries with her.

He cries for the places we relegate people we're done with.

He says, come out.

Will we join Christ in this word?

And I do want to share with you, and this is a powerful moment as I dealt with my own dad, because I'm going to tell you I had unresolved issues with him when I was at the bed.

I wanted him to apologize.

I did.

I didn't get that, he couldn't get it.

He wouldn't have done it anyway, wouldn't he?

I wanted it anyway.

Right?

There's this line that shows up in the psalm.

There's two different ways to read it, actually.

With you there is forgiveness of sin, and I hope you notice, therefore, you are feared.

Fear is this really weird word in Hebrew, and I think it's better translated.

Therefore, I hold you in awe.

Therefore, I have wonder for you, God.

With you, there is forgiveness of sin.

Therefore, I am at a moment of awe and wonder.

And I can tell you, with parishioners, with family members, with friends, in my moment of disappointment, and I didn't get the reconciliation I wanted.

I didn't get the peace I had in mind.

When we can dare to do what the Psalm says, God, there is forgiveness of sin.

It will take us to a place of awe and wonder with one another.

I wanted something from my dad that he could not give me.

God didn't need him to give it to me.

And when I'm really honest, I didn't really need it either.

I just wanted it.

And being able to say and letting go of what I wanted, you can't give it to me.

Here you are, child of God in the dead, regardless of all the things I've found up over the years, took me to a place of awe and wonder.

With a cat, with somebody who just seems not angry.

I hope you will join that in feeling that so that you can find awe and wonder, not only in that, but forgiving the things that you thought you needed that you really just wanted all of.

Please join me as we pray our faith in the words of an ice cream creed.

We believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, all that is seen and seen.

We believe in one Lord Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, the eternally begotten of the Father, God from God, light from light, true God from true God, begotten God made, of one being with the Father.

Through him all things were made.

For us and for our salvation, he came down from heaven.

By the power of the Holy Spirit, he became incarnate for the Virgin Mary and was made man.

For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate.

He suffered death and was buried.

On the third day he rose again, in accordance with the scriptures.

He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father.

He will come again in glory to judge the living and dead, and his kingdom will have anointed.

We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life, who proceeds from the Father and Son.

With the Father and the Son, he is worshipped and glorified.

He has spoken to the prophets.

We believe in one holy Catholic and Apostolic Church.

We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.

We look for the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come.

Amen.

For the community we live in, for clean air to breathe, and safe water to drink.

For the courage to protect creation and the persistence to make informed decisions every day.

For the victims of oppression throughout the world, especially those who have been silenced by governments, abuse, and poverty.

For refugees and those displaced by war or strife.

For those who hunger.

For 47 years of female clergy shining your light in the Episcopal Church.

We praise you and we thank you, O Lord.

Enable our laity, deacons, priests, and bishops to discern your work in the world and boldly join it.

May your entire function as one body.

Bless our day school, its teachers, our staff, families, and students.

May day topic school grow in the power of wisdom, love, and knowledge in our world.

We praise you for the constant love, compassion, diligence, kindness, and guidance of spouses, siblings, parents, friends, and extended families who have put us and others before themselves.

May we join you in making Christ visible.

Mend broken relationships and comfort those who are alone.

Strengthen our patience and hold in our forgiveness.

Equip us to emphasize, even empathize even when we are in pain.

Grow our hearts alone as you do.

Protect the dignity of those who are in physical decline or hardship, remembering especially the celebrations or petitions the congregation wishes to name at this time silently or aloud.

We pray for all who have died.

Compassionate God, make your healing and peaceful presence known to the world.

Comfort those who mourn, strengthen those who are weary, encourage those in despair, and lead us all to fullness of life.

Let us confess our sin against God and our neighbor.

Almighty and most merciful Father, we have aired straight to thy ways like a sheep.

We have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts.

We have offended against thy holy cause.

We have done those things which we ought to have done.

And we have done those things which we have to have done.

And grant thy Most Merciful Father for His sake, that we may hereafter live a godly righteousness of our life to live.

Amen.

God forgives you.

Forgive others.

Forgive yourself.

Amen.

Reminder, we stand at this point in the liturgy, and it's really important to me because that just worked.

We stand worthy before God because God has made us worthy.

And therefore, we're able to turn to one another and say the peace of the Lord be always with you.

And also with you.

If you're new to us or haven't done this before in the room right behind the one we're sitting in right now, we call that room an arthe.

There's these little cards that say welcome.

And we'd be tremendously grateful if you'd fill one out so we have a record of your visit.

And look, you get to choose what the follow-up is.

I want to call from the priest.

I want to be on the e-news.

If you don't check anything, you don't get anything.

We honor your wishes, so you get to choose, but we're very grateful if you take time to fill one out.

As I said, so we have a record of your visit.

I want to highlight a couple of things that are coming up.

And first, I want to highlight something that happened yesterday.

You all have been very lovely and patient and understanding as I've gone to some scout training to support scouts.

And so yesterday, uh I was able to run the climb tower for our troop 1966 for about three hours, and I probably did 60 repels for our scouts and their parents.

And you know what's so amazing about this is to see a kid get all buckled in and squat down and say, I don't think I'm going to do this anymore.

And then get all buckled in and step down and say, Nope, this isn't my time either.

But the third time they lean back and they do it, right?

And it's just super amazing to see us come to terms.

Of course, all the equipment will hold a semi-truck, but it's different when you're having to put your hind end over the back of the edge, right?

And to see kids make this turn and enjoy this adventure is truly lovely.

So thank you for sponsoring that.

Um, it's incredible to see how scouts empower people to do things they never thought they could.

And that's part of the ministry of scouting.

Um, today, if you missed this time with Dr.

Darlene, I want to highlight with you this is called Good Grief.

And uh there's a recording of it on YouTube, and I'll tell you as a priest, the most amazing thing about today, if you watch it or you were there, is that people said, These are the challenges I've had with grief, these are the things that helped, these are the things that hurt.

The more we talk about this together, the more we can care for one another.

When we're quiet, there's no care we can give, and there's none we can get.

So I was very encouraged by your honesty and your vulnerability.

Very much so.

That is truly what's going to make a difference in our community.

I also want to highlight to you that we have a blood drive today, and if you haven't made an appointment, they're here till one.

It takes about 25 minutes to give red blood.

Kathy, was that what it took you?

It just takes more time to fill out the forms.

More time to fill out the forms than to give the blood.

And look, I just want to encourage you.

I hate needles, not this is not intuitive.

I hate needles.

I absolutely hate them.

But they'll take my blood and people need it.

So look, sharing life is kind of what the Lord does.

So whether it's today or down the road, please share your life with other people if you can.

Uh, they'll be here till 1 o'clock and they take walk-ins.

Uh also want to highlight to you, uh, as I mentioned, what's coming up this week.

So this coming Saturday is April 1st, and we're going to play an April Fool's joke on food insecurity in our area by serving uh from the Galveston County Food Bank.

So this coming Saturday, April 1, from 7:45 till 9.30, we'll be in the parking lot, and we'll probably serve about a hundred families representing somewhere around 400 people food for the month.

This is a lovely thing to do if it fits your time schedule this coming Saturday.

Next Sunday is Palm Sunday, and it's the beginning of Holy Week.

So we'll start in the hallway, we'll have palms, uh, we'll do this procession so we can live into the story.

And I'm just gonna prepare you for disappointment in advance.

In 1976, when we made the new prayer book, we decided people don't go to church during Holy Week.

So what we'd better do is read the Passion story on Palm Sunday, because they're not coming.

I am not doing that.

I want you to come to church during Holy Week.

Reading the Passion on Sunday makes no sense.

The Passion happens on Friday.

We will read it on Friday.

Next week, I'm talking about Palm Sunday, not the cross.

So I want to push Holy Week on you because no other tradition I've been involved in does it the way we do it.

I don't want to sound proprietary, but allows us to live into the story.

So here are opportunities during Holy Week.

On Tuesday and Thursday, the first week of April, I have time put aside to do what is called one of the seven sacraments, the rite of reconciliation.

Used to be called confession.

I will do this by appointment.

Email me, but the days are wide open.

What's that for?

It could be that you've that you lied to your third grade teacher and you haven't gotten over it, but I'll tell you honestly, what I see in my own life and in other people is things that weren't necessarily wrong, but that we carry with us.

As a parent, I can't tell you how many, how much time I've wasted worrying I should have gone to private school earlier, or I should have done a different medication.

Or what if I'd picked a different counselor?

That would have made the difference.

The rite of reconciliation is there for you to say, God, I'm worried about this, and to hear God say, I'm not.

We do it face to face.

We don't do it in a booth.

If you've never done it before, promise I'll be gentle because I'm just a person like you.

The goal of it is to lay a burden down, not to pick one up.

So that's Tuesday and Thursday, all day, uh, by appointment.

Uh Tuesday night, we'll do something called the Stations of the Cross.

That's where we rehearse the circuit in here, and you get to sort of contemplate what each of these moments might have meant then and our invitation now, and we'll follow it with a Eucharist.

On Thursday, Maundy Thursday, Maundy means commandment, right?

Jesus says, a new commandment I give you, love you, love one another as I loved you.

We have two offerings in the evening.

One is a hand washing or foot washing, and this is a way in which we practice giving dignity to each other.

We're gonna do that at 5:45.

It's its own thing.

Then at 6.30, we're gonna come in here and celebrate the institution of the Eucharist, and it is dramatic.

I don't know what a better word to say it.

We start in the light, we celebrate the Eucharist, and then we read the story of the betrayal of the garden, and the lights go out, and we strip everything away and we leave in darkness, and it's touching.

On Friday, we have two services at 12 and at 6.

And this is where we allow, well, frankly, ourselves to put up with the idea that Jesus died.

And we don't have to fix that.

We just let him be dead.

Along with a lot of other things we're breathing.

On Holy Saturday, there's an opportunity for morning prayer at 9 o'clock.

Uh, this is a day in which we contemplate, frankly, Jesus being in the tomb.

And then on Easter, uh, that's the ninth, we have three opportunities.

The Easter vigil at 6 30.

It is a service like no other.

You come in in the dark, you've got a candle holding this very faint light as we read the story.

The sun starts to appear, we celebrate the resurrection.

Dramatic.

There is no service like it.

And then we have Easter at 8:30 and 10:30, and I think there'll be an egg hunt in between.

And those are lovely things too, and we'll also celebrate baptisms that day.

So if there's a baptism in your family or in your group of friends, Easter is a great day for it.

I also want to tell you, Holy Saturday, we do this interesting thing.

That's April the 8th.

We're hosting Yuri's Run.

Yuri Gregarian, first human being in outer space.

We celebrate this internationally every day.

Always it's the Saturday before Easter.

A 1K for kids, a 5K, or a 10K for adults.

And what I love having lived in this neighborhood, I live in this neighborhood, is that they put out placards of where the astronauts lived.

So you run by and you get to see, hey, Gene Cernan lived across the street from me, and Rusty Swiger was my neighbor.

That's kind of cool in a space community.

So I just want to hold that up to you if you want to walk or run.

I'll be back in time for the service.

I'm running with 10K at 7.30, and Lord willing, I'll be back by 9.

And uh that's how we're gonna do uh Holy Saturday.

But I do want to encourage you, whether you come to one of these services or not, make it a holy week.

That is, set time apart for this week to be something special in your life and in the lives of your family and friends.

That might be it for today.

Oh, nope, I'm supposed to tell you this.

A lot of people ask, and it's good to remind you.

What I'm wearing on my head is called a beretta.

And it is the only beretta allowed in the church because we have signs that prohibit this kind, right?

So this is a beretta, it's a hat that showed up in the Middle Ages, and what it means is the clergy knows how to read.

If you know your Reformation history, there were lots of illiterate clergy that were making up the Mass.

If you look at any portrait of Martin Luther, he's wearing a beretta because he knew how to read.

This is the origin of the mortar board for graduates in high school.

It has become twisted in recent years.

Some clergy wear this as a symbol that they know better than you.

I hope that is not why I'm wearing it.

Uh, rather, I'm wearing it because it's a piece of our tradition, and every lent I try to represent parts of our tradition, including this.

This is called a cassock and a surplus.

Uh, this is a low mass vestment.

I'm not wearing a chasuble today.

I don't have to.

The prayer book has no rubrics on this.

I just have to wear a stole.

I like wearing the chasable, but I try to hold up parts of our tradition, even if they aren't for me, because the traditions really, really want.

Now, fun thing if you're bored in a sermon and I'm wearing a hat, you can keep score.

I'm supposed to pick it up every time I say Jesus Christ.

If it's just Jesus, I don't have to pick it up.

If it's just Christ, I don't have to pick it up.

But if it's Jesus Christ or Christ Jesus, I'm supposed to do that.

Yeah?

Give me the score at the end of the service.

It's okay if I'm like 0 for 3 or like 1 and 2, that's okay.

Like I said, it's important that we recognize parts of our tradition, even if they aren't the ones that we grew up with, because what we often fail to realize is the Episcopal Closet is really big.

Garments don't fit you.

Put them back.

It's fine.

We try things on, we don't try them out.

If it doesn't fit, put it back.

Maybe it will fit later.

I will tell you, I know how to read.

Okay.

That said, continue to walk in love as Christ for the tells us.

And gave himself for us an offering and sacrifice to God.

All things come of thee, O Lord.

And of mine own have we given thee.

This is the table not of the church, but of Jesus Christ.

It is made ready for those who love Him and those who want to love Him more.

So come, you who have much faith, and you who have little.

You who have been here often and you who have not been for a long time or ever before.

You who have tried to follow and you who have failed, come, not because the church invites you, it is Christ, but he invites you to meet him here.

The Lord be with you.

Fervent in prayer and in works of mercy, and renewed by thy word in sacraments, they may come to the fullness of grace which thou hast prepared for those who love thee.

Therefore, with angels and archangels and with all the company of heaven, we laud and magnify thy glorious name, evermore praising thee and singing.

And of thy tender mercy didst give thine only Son, Jesus Christ, to take our nature upon him, and to suffer death upon the cross for our redemption.

He made there a full and perfect sacrifice for the whole world, and the institute in his holy gospel command us to continue a perpetual memory of that, his precious death and sacrifice, until his coming again.

For in the night in which he was betrayed, Jesus took bread.

And when he'd given thanks to thee, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, Take, eat.

This is my body which is given for you.

Do this in remembrance of me.

Likewise after supper, Jesus took the cup of wine.

And when he'd given thanks, he gave it to them, saying, Drink this, all of you.

This is my blood of the new covenant which is shed for you and for all for the remission of sin.

Do this as often as ye shall drink it in remembrance of me.

Wherefore, O Lord and Heavenly Father, we thy people will do celebrate and make with these thy holy gifts which we offer unto thee, the memorial thy son hath commanded us to make, having in remembrance his blessed passion and precious death, his mighty resurrection and glorious ascension, and looking for his coming again with power and great glory.

We most humbly beseech thee, O merciful Father, to hear us with thy word and Holy Spirit to bless and sanctify these gifts of bread and wine, that they may be unto us the body and blood of thy dearly beloved Son Jesus Christ.

And we earnestly desire thy fatherly goodness to accept this, our sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving, whereby we offer and present unto thee, O Lord, ourselves, our souls and bodies.

Grant, we beseech you that all who partake of this holy communion may worthily receive the most precious body and blood of thy Son, Jesus Christ, and be filled with thy grace and heavenly benediction.

And also that we and all thy whole church may be made one body with him, that he may dwell in us and we in him, through the same Jesus Christ our Lord, by whom and with whom and in whom, in the unity of the Holy Ghost, all honor and glory be unto thee, O Father Almighty, world without end.

Amen.

How as our Savior Christ hath taught us, we are bold to pray, our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever.

Amen.

Almighty and every God, we most heartily thank thee for thou, with the spiritual food of the most precious body, the blood of thy God, our favor to the Christ, and that the earth thereby of thy favor and toward us, and that we are to record in the physical body of thy son, the blessed company of all faithful people, and are also fair to the hope of thy everlasting kingdom.

And we hope we could teach thee, O Heavenly Father, so those dust of thy ways, that we may continue in that holy holy church, and in all such good works as thou hast prepared for us to walk in.

Through Jesus Christ our Lord, to whom with thee and the Holy Ghost, be all honor and glory, world of thy end.

Amen.

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself you have built against it.

And the blessing of God Almighty, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, be with you this day and remain with you always.

Amen.